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1
00:00:03,165 --> 00:00:09,400
Just so you know, Morgan, Roxie
and the cat drank out of that carton.
2
00:00:09,571 --> 00:00:13,735
Ick. Well, that explains the lipstick,
the crumbs and the fur.
3
00:00:13,909 --> 00:00:15,240
So, Louisa, what's going on?
4
00:00:15,411 --> 00:00:18,107
I mean, I haven't heard from you
since the 1-cent frame sale.
5
00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:20,646
The phone works both ways.
6
00:00:20,816 --> 00:00:22,716
Anyhoo, I wanted to warn you
7
00:00:22,885 --> 00:00:26,446
that since so little magic
has been used around here lately,
8
00:00:26,622 --> 00:00:30,524
the house is about to undergo
a magical systems check.
9
00:00:30,692 --> 00:00:33,422
What? I can't have magic
shooting off willy-nilly.
10
00:00:33,595 --> 00:00:35,654
Mortals live here,
and they don't know I'm a witch.
11
00:00:35,831 --> 00:00:38,595
Oh, that's going to be tricky.
12
00:00:38,767 --> 00:00:40,928
Lots of luck to you.
13
00:00:41,103 --> 00:00:42,627
No, wait, you can't go.
I need to know...
14
00:00:42,805 --> 00:00:46,172
- Who are you talking to?
- Uh, to you, heh, obviously.
15
00:00:46,341 --> 00:00:49,242
- Good morning.
- Friendly but unconvincing.
16
00:00:49,645 --> 00:00:51,545
- I know I heard voices.
- Voices?
17
00:00:51,713 --> 00:00:53,374
Roxie, really,
the things you come up with.
18
00:00:54,750 --> 00:00:57,685
- What in the heck is that?
- I'm sterilizing the mail.
19
00:00:57,853 --> 00:01:01,186
I mean, you never know where
the mailman's hands have been.
20
00:01:01,356 --> 00:01:02,584
Juice?
21
00:01:41,563 --> 00:01:44,623
What is taking them so long?
Roxie, Morgan, come on!
22
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:48,201
I gotta keep them out until this
whole magical systems check is over.
23
00:01:48,370 --> 00:01:50,668
You can't keep them
at the diner forever.
24
00:01:50,839 --> 00:01:52,306
What's your plan
if something happens
25
00:01:52,474 --> 00:01:55,238
while Laverne and Shirley
are actually in the house?
26
00:01:55,410 --> 00:01:57,401
Let's just say I'll be making good use
of the phrase
27
00:01:57,579 --> 00:01:58,773
"It must have been the cat. "
28
00:01:58,947 --> 00:02:01,848
- Quรฉ?
- Ladies, while I'm still young!
29
00:02:02,017 --> 00:02:04,110
I wanna get to the diner
before the soup hardens.
30
00:02:04,286 --> 00:02:07,346
What's the hurry?
I've only got one eye lined.
31
00:02:07,523 --> 00:02:09,115
Yeah, we just had breakfast
two hours ago.
32
00:02:09,291 --> 00:02:10,519
The juice might have gone bad.
33
00:02:10,692 --> 00:02:13,661
Oh, well, uh, nothing soothes
the stomach like chili cheese fries.
34
00:02:13,829 --> 00:02:15,262
Okay, let's get a move on.
35
00:02:15,430 --> 00:02:18,831
Yep, let's go or the day will be over
before we even get out the door.
36
00:02:19,601 --> 00:02:24,061
So then she says,
"I left my harp in Sam Clam's disco. "
37
00:02:24,239 --> 00:02:26,639
- Get it?
- Got it, and I'm gone.
38
00:02:26,808 --> 00:02:29,174
- I got a million of them.
- And we've heard every one.
39
00:02:29,344 --> 00:02:30,606
- See you.
- Where are you going?
40
00:02:30,779 --> 00:02:33,270
- You're going, uh, shopping, right?
- No, home.
41
00:02:33,448 --> 00:02:34,472
Uh, well, that's cool.
42
00:02:34,650 --> 00:02:37,915
You know, I just assumed, you know,
with the stores open, having big sales
43
00:02:38,086 --> 00:02:40,054
and you in last season's jeans,
maybe...
44
00:02:40,222 --> 00:02:41,689
I'll be at the mall. Don't wait up.
45
00:02:42,691 --> 00:02:45,159
Well, now that Morgan's gone
over the wall, I'm taking off too.
46
00:02:45,327 --> 00:02:47,454
I've got an appointment.
I wanna stop by the house.
47
00:02:47,629 --> 00:02:49,460
Wait, when did you two
become such homebodies?
48
00:02:49,631 --> 00:02:52,725
Okay, so this appointment, um,
sounds pretty mysterious.
49
00:02:52,901 --> 00:02:54,801
- It's no big deal.
- Well, it is to me.
50
00:02:54,970 --> 00:02:57,632
Sit. Tell. Order something.
51
00:02:57,806 --> 00:02:59,933
You're not leaving here
until you tell me all about it.
52
00:03:00,108 --> 00:03:02,668
Sabrina, it's kind of personal.
53
00:03:02,844 --> 00:03:05,176
So personal
you can't tell your best friend?
54
00:03:05,347 --> 00:03:06,814
Okay, but it's a little embarrassing.
55
00:03:06,982 --> 00:03:09,177
You've gotta promise
not to tell anyone.
56
00:03:09,851 --> 00:03:11,614
- Promise.
- I'm seeing a doctor.
57
00:03:11,987 --> 00:03:15,354
- That's great. Congratulations.
- No, I'm not dating him.
58
00:03:15,524 --> 00:03:19,290
I'm seeing a doctor about possibly
having a tattoo removed.
59
00:03:19,461 --> 00:03:22,021
- Wow, I didn't know you had a tattoo.
- That's the secret part.
60
00:03:22,197 --> 00:03:24,665
I got it when I was in high school
and have regretted it since.
61
00:03:24,833 --> 00:03:26,596
I just want it gone.
62
00:03:27,169 --> 00:03:30,263
Uh, does it have some long,
seedy story behind it?
63
00:03:30,439 --> 00:03:33,738
I wish, heh. It says...
64
00:03:33,909 --> 00:03:35,740
This is just between us, right?
65
00:03:37,079 --> 00:03:39,309
You know when you're young
and get obsessed with a band?
66
00:03:39,481 --> 00:03:42,041
Oh, totally. I had a wall
full of Nine Inch Nails posters.
67
00:03:42,217 --> 00:03:44,344
Which, ironically,
I put up with thumbtacks.
68
00:03:44,519 --> 00:03:47,079
So, what band left
a "permanent" impression on you?
69
00:03:47,255 --> 00:03:48,916
Hanson.
70
00:03:49,091 --> 00:03:51,753
My tattoo says "I heart Hanson. "
71
00:03:52,294 --> 00:03:56,094
- I'm guessing you lost a bet.
- Mm, if only that were true.
72
00:03:56,264 --> 00:03:59,131
Great, now I'm late and I'm not gonna
have a chance to go home.
73
00:03:59,301 --> 00:04:01,826
Excellent...
Decision to have that tattoo removed.
74
00:04:02,004 --> 00:04:06,031
Yeah, so when you're at the doctor's,
um, take your time.
75
00:04:06,208 --> 00:04:07,266
Get to know him.
76
00:04:07,442 --> 00:04:09,342
You know,
maybe you'll get that date after all.
77
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:17,197
Okay, I've successfully
capped the geyser of Sparkle Farkle
78
00:04:17,370 --> 00:04:19,770
and managed to put out the fire
in the number-six cauldron.
79
00:04:19,939 --> 00:04:22,499
- How are things going up here?
- All clear.
80
00:04:22,676 --> 00:04:25,702
The armchair started to talk,
but I threatened to shred its dust ruffle.
81
00:04:26,646 --> 00:04:28,705
Good cat. So how are our girls?
82
00:04:28,882 --> 00:04:30,406
Back, but not to worry.
83
00:04:30,583 --> 00:04:32,881
They're in the kitchen,
still none the wiser.
84
00:04:33,053 --> 00:04:34,486
Perfect.
85
00:04:36,423 --> 00:04:37,651
Not so perfect.
86
00:04:39,592 --> 00:04:40,991
Aah, stop.
87
00:04:41,161 --> 00:04:43,652
No. Open.
88
00:04:44,264 --> 00:04:48,826
Oh, good. No, stop, stop.
Close, close, close!
89
00:04:49,002 --> 00:04:50,936
Sabrina, we have a problem.
90
00:04:51,104 --> 00:04:53,868
Uh, the cat did it. He's crazy.
I'm thinking of having him put down.
91
00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:55,632
No, not Salem, Roxie.
92
00:04:55,809 --> 00:04:57,606
Uh, fine,
then we'll have her put down too.
93
00:04:57,777 --> 00:04:58,801
That's the problem.
94
00:04:58,978 --> 00:05:01,310
I think something
is seriously wrong with her.
95
00:05:01,481 --> 00:05:03,415
I just overheard her on the phone
to a doctor.
96
00:05:03,583 --> 00:05:06,108
She's scheduling an appointment
to have something removed.
97
00:05:06,286 --> 00:05:09,687
I think that she may be dying,
or worse.
98
00:05:09,856 --> 00:05:11,323
I'm really kind of busy right now.
99
00:05:11,491 --> 00:05:14,051
I know,
and you're doing that all wrong.
100
00:05:14,227 --> 00:05:17,594
This exercise is meant
for toning the thighs and the glutes.
101
00:05:17,764 --> 00:05:20,756
I'm sure if there were anything wrong,
Roxie would've let us know.
102
00:05:20,934 --> 00:05:22,367
No, I asked her about it,
103
00:05:22,535 --> 00:05:26,266
and all she said
was something about a MYOB.
104
00:05:26,439 --> 00:05:28,600
- "Mind your own business"?
- Great.
105
00:05:28,775 --> 00:05:32,267
Now you're shutting me out too.
You know, I am just worried about her.
106
00:05:32,445 --> 00:05:34,936
Look, Morgan, you have to trust me.
It's gonna be okay.
107
00:05:35,115 --> 00:05:37,345
There's nothing to worry about.
It's a simple procedure.
108
00:05:37,517 --> 00:05:41,214
Procedure? Oh, poor Roxie.
109
00:05:41,387 --> 00:05:45,255
I wish I'd been nicer to her.
What does she have, like six months?
110
00:05:45,425 --> 00:05:49,384
No, no, no, it's gonna be fine, really.
It's just, she's having a tattoo removed.
111
00:05:49,896 --> 00:05:54,299
Oh, is that all? Oh, I am so relieved.
112
00:05:54,467 --> 00:05:57,732
- I could do this for hours.
- Really? Great.
113
00:05:58,538 --> 00:05:59,596
Knock yourself out, ha, ha.
114
00:05:59,773 --> 00:06:01,707
Hey, and don't repeat what I told you
about Roxie.
115
00:06:01,875 --> 00:06:03,467
She's really kind of sensitive about it.
116
00:06:03,643 --> 00:06:05,736
I promise.
You don't have to worry about me.
117
00:06:07,781 --> 00:06:11,012
Come on, just let me see it, please?
Just a peek.
118
00:06:11,184 --> 00:06:12,412
Get away from me.
119
00:06:13,419 --> 00:06:14,818
I can't believe you told her.
120
00:06:14,988 --> 00:06:16,888
- But she promised.
- So did you.
121
00:06:17,657 --> 00:06:19,557
Well, I'm sorry. It wasn't malicious.
122
00:06:19,726 --> 00:06:21,591
Look, I was just trying
to put her mind at ease.
123
00:06:21,761 --> 00:06:23,752
- She thought you were dying.
She's right.
124
00:06:23,930 --> 00:06:25,329
And believe me, I'd wanna die too
125
00:06:25,498 --> 00:06:27,796
if I had "I heart Hanson" on my butt.
Ha-ha-ha.
126
00:06:28,334 --> 00:06:29,926
You gave her details?
127
00:06:30,103 --> 00:06:32,594
Now, see, that's probably
where I crossed the line.
128
00:06:32,972 --> 00:06:35,270
The first time I ask you
to promise me something.
129
00:06:35,441 --> 00:06:37,841
Thanks a lot, Sabrina.
I thought I could trust you.
130
00:06:38,478 --> 00:06:40,742
Thanks a lot, Morgan.
I thought I could trust you.
131
00:06:40,914 --> 00:06:43,178
I'm not exactly sure why.
132
00:06:43,349 --> 00:06:44,373
Roxie, I'm sorry.
133
00:06:44,551 --> 00:06:46,576
I never should've told Morgan
about your tattoo.
134
00:06:46,753 --> 00:06:48,846
I shouldn't be surprised
you couldn't keep my secrets.
135
00:06:49,022 --> 00:06:51,286
The only secrets you're able to keep
are your own.
136
00:06:51,457 --> 00:06:54,017
What are you talking about?
I don't keep secrets from you.
137
00:06:54,194 --> 00:06:56,059
Give me a break.
Ever since I've known you,
138
00:06:56,229 --> 00:06:59,062
I've always felt there was something
you were hiding from everyone.
139
00:06:59,232 --> 00:07:01,894
You're always covering things up
and acting all cagey.
140
00:07:02,068 --> 00:07:04,229
I can't believe this.
I am so not cagey.
141
00:07:04,404 --> 00:07:06,133
Oh, please,
you're always being evasive
142
00:07:06,306 --> 00:07:08,570
or darting out of the room
unexplained.
143
00:07:08,741 --> 00:07:10,572
Then you come up
with these weird, lame excuses
144
00:07:10,743 --> 00:07:13,303
that couldn't possibly be true.
145
00:07:13,479 --> 00:07:15,106
Just changing the bag.
146
00:07:15,281 --> 00:07:17,977
That's right up there
with sterilizing the mail.
147
00:07:18,151 --> 00:07:21,120
Bottom line,
I just don't trust you anymore.
148
00:07:22,488 --> 00:07:24,353
Hey, you try to come up
with a decent excuse
149
00:07:24,524 --> 00:07:27,891
while you're wrestling an upright.
Stop it.
150
00:07:29,929 --> 00:07:32,329
Trust is very important, Sabrina.
151
00:07:32,498 --> 00:07:35,058
Without it,
you can't run the really big cons.
152
00:07:35,668 --> 00:07:38,796
Did I ever tell you about the Bible scam
I ran in Kansas City back in the '20s?
153
00:07:38,972 --> 00:07:42,100
You don't know how horrible it feels
to have your best friend not trust you.
154
00:07:42,275 --> 00:07:43,640
Boo-hoo.
155
00:07:43,810 --> 00:07:46,335
Talk to me when you have
to groom yourself with your tongue.
156
00:07:47,513 --> 00:07:50,346
- Ooh. What about that one?
- "Elixir of Trust.
157
00:07:50,516 --> 00:07:54,316
Whoever serves this tonic will instantly
gain the trust of whomever drinks it. "
158
00:07:54,487 --> 00:07:56,045
I guarantee it.
159
00:07:56,222 --> 00:07:59,020
Jeez, is there anyone who's not doing
an endorsement these days?
160
00:08:02,028 --> 00:08:03,962
You know,
I don't know if I should do this.
161
00:08:04,130 --> 00:08:06,155
Well, with magic going off
left and right,
162
00:08:06,332 --> 00:08:08,129
I don't think you have a choice.
163
00:08:08,301 --> 00:08:10,826
Well, and 10 percent of the profits
goes to preserving the union.
164
00:08:11,004 --> 00:08:12,198
I'm sold.
165
00:08:14,941 --> 00:08:17,842
Hey, Roxie, I made smoothies.
166
00:08:18,011 --> 00:08:20,411
That certainly takes the sting
out of being betrayed.
167
00:08:20,580 --> 00:08:23,811
Come on, it's my sweet, nutritious way
of apologizing.
168
00:08:23,983 --> 00:08:25,280
Don't waste your breath.
169
00:08:25,451 --> 00:08:28,545
There's no way
that I'm accepting your apology.
170
00:08:35,461 --> 00:08:37,554
Because you have nothing
to apologize for.
171
00:08:37,730 --> 00:08:40,824
You're my best friend
in the whole wide world,
172
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,092
and I totally trust you.
173
00:08:42,268 --> 00:08:45,066
If you say you had a good reason
for telling Morgan about my tattoo
174
00:08:45,238 --> 00:08:48,571
or slapping around the vacuum,
then I believe you.
175
00:08:48,741 --> 00:08:51,301
Wow, I gotta say,
Abe really knows his stuff.
176
00:08:51,477 --> 00:08:53,206
Hi, Sabrina. Just wanted to check...
177
00:08:53,379 --> 00:08:55,404
Not now.
- Did that painting just talk?
178
00:08:55,581 --> 00:08:57,640
Yeah, it's one of those, uh,
you know, gag pictures,
179
00:08:57,817 --> 00:08:59,148
like the fake flounder that sings.
180
00:08:59,319 --> 00:09:02,311
Yeah, you should hear her belt out
"Do Ya Think I'm Sexy. " Ha, ha.
181
00:09:02,755 --> 00:09:04,723
- That's cool.
- You bought that?
182
00:09:04,891 --> 00:09:07,553
I mean,
you're okay with that explanation?
183
00:09:07,727 --> 00:09:08,751
Of course.
184
00:09:08,928 --> 00:09:11,829
I know you'd never, ever lie
or keep secrets from me.
185
00:09:11,998 --> 00:09:14,660
I just feel bad
that I keep so many secrets from you.
186
00:09:14,834 --> 00:09:17,997
Well, never, ever is a little...
You keep secrets from me?
187
00:09:18,171 --> 00:09:19,729
Come on. I'll show you.
188
00:09:22,608 --> 00:09:26,044
Roxie, this place is so not you.
189
00:09:26,212 --> 00:09:27,770
That's why I've kept it a secret.
190
00:09:27,947 --> 00:09:30,074
I know I'm always railing
against the beauty myth,
191
00:09:30,249 --> 00:09:33,412
but even the most eco-friendly,
post-feminist, vegan girl in the world
192
00:09:33,586 --> 00:09:34,610
wants pretty toes.
193
00:09:34,787 --> 00:09:37,654
Hey, that goes for us meat-eating,
paper-wasting girls too.
194
00:09:37,824 --> 00:09:39,155
Thanks for sharing this with me.
195
00:09:39,325 --> 00:09:41,759
If I can't trust you with my secrets,
who can I trust?
196
00:09:41,928 --> 00:09:43,395
True, but let's not get carried away.
197
00:09:43,563 --> 00:09:45,997
You know, there are some things
better left unsaid.
198
00:09:48,534 --> 00:09:50,502
I miss my binkie.
199
00:09:50,670 --> 00:09:51,864
Aah! Too much information.
200
00:09:52,038 --> 00:09:54,268
La-la-la, la-la-la
201
00:09:55,975 --> 00:09:58,136
Oh, you silly, silly witch,
202
00:09:58,311 --> 00:10:00,779
leaving me with the Elixir of Trust.
203
00:10:00,947 --> 00:10:03,108
If I had thumbs,
I'd be twirling my whiskers right now
204
00:10:03,282 --> 00:10:04,715
and laughing maniacally.
205
00:10:05,852 --> 00:10:08,286
Perfect. Ha-ha-ha.
206
00:10:12,625 --> 00:10:18,495
Hmm, I feel like something
cold and fruity.
207
00:10:18,664 --> 00:10:20,928
Meow. Meow.
208
00:10:21,100 --> 00:10:23,762
Oh, hi, kitty. Oh, maybe a banana.
209
00:10:26,672 --> 00:10:29,470
Whatever you're hacking up,
take it outside.
210
00:10:29,642 --> 00:10:33,703
Oh, smoothies.
This should hit the spot.
211
00:10:36,749 --> 00:10:40,708
- Mm.
- Hey, Red, way to take a hint.
212
00:10:40,887 --> 00:10:45,187
- How are you talking to me?
- Trust me, all cats talk.
213
00:10:45,358 --> 00:10:47,622
- Would I lie to you?
- Oh, of course not.
214
00:10:47,794 --> 00:10:50,854
- I trust you.
- Enough to do whatever I want?
215
00:10:51,030 --> 00:10:52,793
- Of course.
- Excellent.
216
00:10:52,965 --> 00:10:55,695
Now twirl my whiskers
while I laugh maniacally.
217
00:10:59,300 --> 00:11:01,962
Yes, I'm serious, and...
- No, no, just hang up. Hang up.
218
00:11:02,137 --> 00:11:05,197
Look, you can't just call your boss
and quit out of the blue.
219
00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:07,273
You said if I wasn't
being creatively fulfilled...
220
00:11:07,442 --> 00:11:08,534
All right, Roxie, stop.
221
00:11:08,710 --> 00:11:10,177
You can't entrust me
with your secrets
222
00:11:10,345 --> 00:11:12,472
and ask me
to make life-altering decisions for you.
223
00:11:12,647 --> 00:11:17,016
I know, it's just that I have
such complete and total faith in you.
224
00:11:17,185 --> 00:11:19,278
I know you'd never let any harm
come to me.
225
00:11:19,454 --> 00:11:21,251
Not knowingly,
but you're getting carried...
226
00:11:21,423 --> 00:11:23,653
No! What are you doing?
227
00:11:23,825 --> 00:11:26,760
See? I knew you'd never, ever
let anything bad happen to me.
228
00:11:26,928 --> 00:11:29,590
Okay, you know what?
This is getting a little out of hand.
229
00:11:29,764 --> 00:11:30,958
We gotta get you home before...
230
00:11:31,132 --> 00:11:33,965
- Catch me, Sabrina!
- Roxie!
231
00:11:42,577 --> 00:11:44,374
Oh, dang!
232
00:11:45,947 --> 00:11:47,107
Oh, come on.
233
00:11:48,650 --> 00:11:50,083
Oh, so close.
234
00:11:51,486 --> 00:11:53,044
I knew I could trust you.
235
00:11:54,823 --> 00:11:57,257
A friend's undying devotion
and I didn't even break a nail.
236
00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:59,256
You'd think I'd feel all warm
and fuzzy inside.
237
00:12:00,728 --> 00:12:02,252
Roxie. Get out of the street!
238
00:12:03,164 --> 00:12:05,428
That bus came so close
to hitting my head,
239
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,591
it was almost spiritual.
240
00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:10,704
Yeah, about as life-affirming
as when you were taunting that pit bull.
241
00:12:10,872 --> 00:12:13,739
All right, sit here
and count the floorboards...
242
00:12:13,908 --> 00:12:16,638
It's fun... While I go beat the tar
out of an ex-president
243
00:12:16,811 --> 00:12:19,109
and make sure the house
isn't inflicting itself on Morgan.
244
00:12:19,747 --> 00:12:21,009
Uh, what's going on here?
245
00:12:21,182 --> 00:12:24,447
Uh, nothing you need to furrow
your pretty little brow about.
246
00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:26,849
Just carry on
with whatever you were doing.
247
00:12:27,021 --> 00:12:29,751
Salem, I can't believe
that you're talking,
248
00:12:29,924 --> 00:12:32,415
because it is totally freaking me out.
249
00:12:32,594 --> 00:12:35,085
Oh, all cats talk. Salem told me so.
250
00:12:35,763 --> 00:12:36,821
I bet he did.
251
00:12:36,998 --> 00:12:38,659
Morgan, don't you have to use
the bathroom?
252
00:12:39,100 --> 00:12:41,398
- I don't think so.
- Salem.
253
00:12:42,036 --> 00:12:44,402
- You do.
- Now that you mention it...
254
00:12:45,573 --> 00:12:48,235
Salem, I cannot believe
you fed her the trust elixir.
255
00:12:48,409 --> 00:12:51,037
I'm this close to turning you over
to creepy Jimmy down the street.
256
00:12:51,212 --> 00:12:53,077
He has firecrackers
and very little supervision.
257
00:12:53,248 --> 00:12:55,409
Hey, you left the stuff out
on the counter.
258
00:12:55,583 --> 00:12:59,110
Besides, how is this any different
than what you did to Roxie?
259
00:12:59,287 --> 00:13:01,949
Oh, it's totally different.
I did it to fix a friendship.
260
00:13:02,123 --> 00:13:03,818
You did it to get a free tummy rub.
261
00:13:03,992 --> 00:13:05,459
As soon as I figure out the antidote,
262
00:13:05,627 --> 00:13:07,686
you can say sayonara
to your little geisha with...
263
00:13:07,862 --> 00:13:11,389
Wait a minute, did you say
I left it on the counter? Oh, man.
264
00:13:11,566 --> 00:13:13,932
Morgan, chop-chop!
265
00:13:14,102 --> 00:13:16,627
These grapes
aren't gonna peel themselves.
266
00:13:16,804 --> 00:13:17,964
No. No more.
267
00:13:18,139 --> 00:13:21,597
- I told you to count the floorboards.
- Did it. One hundred and eleven.
268
00:13:21,776 --> 00:13:23,471
Yes, but how many of them
have knots?
269
00:13:24,112 --> 00:13:27,479
One, two, three...
270
00:13:28,316 --> 00:13:29,340
"Do not pour down drain.
271
00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:31,417
May cause severe damage
to septic tank. "
272
00:13:31,586 --> 00:13:34,248
It's always a little scary
when it's bad for the sewage system.
273
00:13:34,422 --> 00:13:37,050
Oh, perfect. I'll just boil it away.
274
00:13:43,831 --> 00:13:44,889
Excellent.
275
00:13:45,066 --> 00:13:48,627
- Now that that's done...
- Thirty-four, 35...
276
00:13:48,803 --> 00:13:51,863
All right, you and I have
an appointment with a musty book,
277
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:54,668
which, ironically, gets me
in more trouble than it gets me out of.
278
00:13:54,842 --> 00:13:56,070
Come on.
279
00:14:01,950 --> 00:14:05,647
- What in the?
- A pretty kitty is a happy kitty.
280
00:14:05,820 --> 00:14:07,310
This is part
of Cat-Appreciation Week.
281
00:14:08,690 --> 00:14:10,954
It comes right before
Selling-Them-on-eBay Week.
282
00:14:13,661 --> 00:14:15,424
- What?
- Hi, I'm your neighbor.
283
00:14:15,597 --> 00:14:17,997
Do these pants make me look fat?
284
00:14:18,166 --> 00:14:20,259
Why are you asking me?
Oh, no, don't say it.
285
00:14:20,435 --> 00:14:22,130
I just know I can trust you.
286
00:14:22,303 --> 00:14:24,828
- Oh, you said it.
- I trust her too.
287
00:14:25,006 --> 00:14:28,965
So do I.
I'm entrusting you with my life savings.
288
00:14:29,143 --> 00:14:30,440
Oh, no. Please go.
289
00:14:30,612 --> 00:14:33,638
Please, I don't want your money, sir.
And those pants are very slimming, sir.
290
00:14:35,016 --> 00:14:38,042
There she is.
That's the woman you'll be living with.
291
00:14:38,219 --> 00:14:40,653
I mean, who else
am I gonna trust them with?
292
00:14:40,822 --> 00:14:42,949
Okay, could you hold down the fort?
I'll be right back.
293
00:14:43,124 --> 00:14:46,093
And I think
she needs to be changed.
294
00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:49,456
Okay, how come
I didn't see that there?
295
00:14:51,165 --> 00:14:53,633
And who's playing with the lights?
296
00:14:55,516 --> 00:14:57,848
- Hello.
- Hi. Hi.
297
00:14:58,018 --> 00:14:59,508
If you're here
about the systems check,
298
00:14:59,687 --> 00:15:02,520
let's just say "Now is a bad time"
is the understatement of the century.
299
00:15:02,690 --> 00:15:04,555
I'm not here
about any systems check.
300
00:15:04,725 --> 00:15:08,422
What's going on with my eyes?
And when did this print get smaller?
301
00:15:08,596 --> 00:15:11,064
You're not gonna find the answer
to your problem in there.
302
00:15:11,232 --> 00:15:13,962
- How do you know?
- Perhaps I should introduce myself.
303
00:15:14,134 --> 00:15:17,365
- I'm Blind Faith.
- Oh, I so don't like where this is going.
304
00:15:17,905 --> 00:15:20,396
I don't suppose you're here
to help with my problem, hope, hope?
305
00:15:20,574 --> 00:15:22,474
No, I'm here to hand over the reins,
so to speak.
306
00:15:22,643 --> 00:15:24,975
Now that you've got all of Boston
worshipping at your feet,
307
00:15:25,145 --> 00:15:26,772
you're the new Blind Faith.
308
00:15:26,947 --> 00:15:28,073
I don't wanna be Blind Faith.
309
00:15:28,249 --> 00:15:30,240
I can never find sunglasses
that work with my face.
310
00:15:30,417 --> 00:15:33,818
And most importantly,
I just wanted Roxie to trust me.
311
00:15:33,988 --> 00:15:36,183
But you used magic
to make her trust you.
312
00:15:36,357 --> 00:15:39,588
That's not real trust, that's blind faith.
313
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:41,091
Instead of arguing over semantics,
314
00:15:41,262 --> 00:15:43,696
how about you tell me
how to get people to stop trusting me?
315
00:15:43,864 --> 00:15:46,128
I mean,
short of running for political office.
316
00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:47,324
Mm, no clue.
317
00:15:47,501 --> 00:15:49,435
Here, you're going to need
my Seeing Eye dog.
318
00:15:49,603 --> 00:15:50,729
But that's a goat.
319
00:15:52,106 --> 00:15:53,698
Where are you going?
Don't disappear yet.
320
00:15:53,874 --> 00:15:56,707
I'm not going anywhere.
You're just losing your sight.
321
00:15:57,177 --> 00:15:58,542
That's better.
322
00:15:58,712 --> 00:16:02,204
Wow, ha, ha, this really is a goat.
Ha, ha.
323
00:16:02,983 --> 00:16:06,350
- These look terrible on me, don't they?
- Hmm.
324
00:16:07,521 --> 00:16:10,615
- Is anybody there?
Hi, Sabrina.
325
00:16:10,791 --> 00:16:14,227
Okay, everybody listen up.
This is very important, okay?
326
00:16:14,395 --> 00:16:17,421
Now, I need you all to trust me
when I say this:
327
00:16:17,598 --> 00:16:18,758
Don't trust me.
328
00:16:19,967 --> 00:16:21,832
I don't hear anybody leaving.
329
00:16:22,002 --> 00:16:24,027
We know you're just
testing our faith.
330
00:16:24,204 --> 00:16:26,672
No, I'm not, really. Trust me.
331
00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:29,172
We trust you, Sabrina.
332
00:16:29,343 --> 00:16:30,901
Okay, as long as we're clear on that.
333
00:16:31,078 --> 00:16:33,706
By the way, there's something
very strange going on in the kitchen.
334
00:16:33,881 --> 00:16:35,405
Of course there is.
Everybody hang here.
335
00:16:35,582 --> 00:16:37,174
Goat, take me to the kitchen.
336
00:16:37,351 --> 00:16:39,979
- Oh, wait, is my cat here?
- Nope.
337
00:16:40,154 --> 00:16:42,679
Figures, the one time
he might actually be useful.
338
00:16:46,226 --> 00:16:48,057
I understand
you have to soak your hip,
339
00:16:48,228 --> 00:16:50,594
but why do I need to be in here?
340
00:16:50,764 --> 00:16:54,165
Because this crummy tub
doesn't have any jets.
341
00:16:54,335 --> 00:16:55,802
Keep pedaling, Red.
342
00:16:59,573 --> 00:17:00,767
Whatever's going on in here,
343
00:17:00,941 --> 00:17:02,772
I'm warning you,
I'm armed with an attack goat.
344
00:17:02,943 --> 00:17:05,639
Don't worry, Sabrina,
everything's fine.
345
00:17:05,813 --> 00:17:08,475
- I took care of it for you.
- Thanks, Louisa.
346
00:17:08,649 --> 00:17:09,911
I thought maybe I'd come in here
347
00:17:10,084 --> 00:17:12,814
and find some of the Horsemen of
the Apocalypse defrosting my freezer.
348
00:17:14,188 --> 00:17:17,885
Nothing so dire.
Just a man with a summons.
349
00:17:18,058 --> 00:17:22,017
A summons? For me?
Why would I be getting a?
350
00:17:22,629 --> 00:17:25,189
...a summons?
Order in the court.
351
00:17:25,366 --> 00:17:28,893
Your Honor, sir, I think this has all
been a big misunderstanding.
352
00:17:29,069 --> 00:17:32,527
- Over here.
- Oh, sorry. Uh...
353
00:17:32,906 --> 00:17:36,273
If I'd been given any warning
about a magical systems check,
354
00:17:36,443 --> 00:17:38,741
I would have made sure
my roommates were out of the house.
355
00:17:38,912 --> 00:17:40,106
Do you swear to tell the truth,
356
00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:42,009
the whole truth,
and nothing but the truth?
357
00:17:42,182 --> 00:17:43,843
What? Oh, yeah. I mean I do.
358
00:17:44,018 --> 00:17:46,612
Well, obviously you don't
or you wouldn't be here.
359
00:17:46,787 --> 00:17:49,221
Is this about the trust thing
and not about the house thing?
360
00:17:49,390 --> 00:17:50,414
It's hard to keep up.
361
00:17:50,591 --> 00:17:54,322
Why else would you be standing
before Naked Truth?
362
00:17:54,828 --> 00:17:56,022
No good reason comes to mind,
363
00:17:56,196 --> 00:17:59,393
and I don't suppose the "Naked" part
is just a metaphor?
364
00:17:59,566 --> 00:18:03,696
Nope, I'm completely open
and honest about everything.
365
00:18:03,871 --> 00:18:08,672
I have absolutely nothing to hide,
unlike some people.
366
00:18:08,842 --> 00:18:10,742
Well, of course I have things to hide.
367
00:18:10,911 --> 00:18:13,379
Of course I have to tell lies.
I live with mortals.
368
00:18:13,547 --> 00:18:16,539
And I gotta tell you, you're not helping
the trust factor, Your Nakedness.
369
00:18:16,717 --> 00:18:20,278
Trust is, as I like to say,
a two-way street.
370
00:18:20,454 --> 00:18:24,015
What reason does your friend Roxie
have to really trust you?
371
00:18:24,191 --> 00:18:27,160
In my defense,
she really, really trusts me now.
372
00:18:29,096 --> 00:18:30,927
I bet you're giving me a look, huh?
373
00:18:31,098 --> 00:18:33,566
All right, I guess she doesn't have
a reason to trust me.
374
00:18:33,734 --> 00:18:36,100
I guess she's always willing
to share her secrets with me,
375
00:18:36,270 --> 00:18:38,761
but I have gone the extra mile
not to share mine with her.
376
00:18:38,939 --> 00:18:41,203
Then I think you know
what you have to do.
377
00:18:41,375 --> 00:18:45,243
There's gotta be another way.
I mean, I can't just tell her I'm...
378
00:18:46,213 --> 00:18:47,976
- a witch.
379
00:18:48,348 --> 00:18:49,474
Hello?
380
00:18:49,650 --> 00:18:51,845
- Anybody?
- Hey, Sabrina.
381
00:18:52,019 --> 00:18:53,850
- Am I in the kitchen?
- Yes, you are.
382
00:18:54,021 --> 00:18:57,320
Do we have any Wasa crackers?
Little Sabrina is teething.
383
00:18:59,393 --> 00:19:00,860
Are you still sterilizing the mail?
384
00:19:01,028 --> 00:19:04,896
Uh, no, this is the warranty.
Yeah. It's good to keep it close.
385
00:19:05,065 --> 00:19:08,228
- Okay.
- No, wait, Roxie. That's a lie.
386
00:19:08,402 --> 00:19:10,529
Actually, most of the things
I tell you are lies.
387
00:19:10,704 --> 00:19:11,762
But you have to understand,
388
00:19:11,939 --> 00:19:14,100
it's because I didn't feel
like I have any other choice.
389
00:19:15,309 --> 00:19:18,870
The only way I can tell you my secret
is if I completely trust you.
390
00:19:19,046 --> 00:19:20,479
Don't you trust me?
391
00:19:21,181 --> 00:19:23,115
Yeah, I do.
392
00:19:23,550 --> 00:19:26,883
Roxie, I'm a witch.
393
00:19:27,454 --> 00:19:28,751
A witch?
394
00:19:31,892 --> 00:19:33,416
What am I doing here and?
395
00:19:34,728 --> 00:19:38,755
- Aah! I'm soaking in cat water.
- Ah!
396
00:19:40,100 --> 00:19:42,227
Yay! Ah, I can see again.
397
00:19:42,402 --> 00:19:45,530
A witch?
That's the weakest lie you've ever told.
398
00:19:46,140 --> 00:19:48,165
Roxie, wait.
399
00:19:49,776 --> 00:19:51,437
Don't walk away from me.
This is important.
400
00:19:51,612 --> 00:19:52,636
A witch, huh?
401
00:19:52,813 --> 00:19:54,781
Is that some kind of metaphor
for something?
402
00:19:54,948 --> 00:19:56,677
Yeah, maybe it is.
403
00:19:56,850 --> 00:20:00,377
It means a girl who's afraid of people
finding out who she really is.
404
00:20:00,554 --> 00:20:02,385
It means a girl
who's willing to hide the truth
405
00:20:02,556 --> 00:20:03,921
from those she loves the most.
406
00:20:04,091 --> 00:20:08,050
And it means a girl who feels different
and strange every moment of the day.
407
00:20:08,729 --> 00:20:12,221
Look, I wish I could share more things
with you, but sometimes I just can't.
408
00:20:12,399 --> 00:20:13,491
I'm sorry.
409
00:20:14,568 --> 00:20:18,698
Sabrina, I'm sorry too.
I think I've been a little unfair.
410
00:20:18,872 --> 00:20:21,534
Of course you have secrets.
We all do.
411
00:20:21,708 --> 00:20:23,972
Yeah, but you're a little better
about sharing yours.
412
00:20:24,144 --> 00:20:25,168
That's okay.
413
00:20:25,345 --> 00:20:27,336
I just have to trust
that when you feel comfortable,
414
00:20:27,514 --> 00:20:28,811
you'll share yours with me.
415
00:20:29,383 --> 00:20:31,943
I will. Thanks.
416
00:20:33,420 --> 00:20:35,650
A witch? That was pretty good.
417
00:20:36,890 --> 00:20:40,018
Salem! I'll get you.
418
00:20:40,194 --> 00:20:42,389
Have your lunch with me
in the bathtub.
419
00:20:42,563 --> 00:20:44,724
Come back here,
you mangy little fur ball.
420
00:20:45,465 --> 00:20:46,489
What's that all about?
421
00:20:46,667 --> 00:20:50,068
Oh, uh, you don't wanna know.
Trust me.
422
00:20:55,642 --> 00:20:57,872
Woo-hoo!
I passed my magical systems check.
423
00:21:04,351 --> 00:21:05,375
Hell hath no fury
424
00:21:05,552 --> 00:21:08,350
like a woman who's been tricked
into bathing with a cat.
425
00:21:08,522 --> 00:21:10,012
Where is that stupid cat?
426
00:21:11,391 --> 00:21:14,121
Quick, close the door.
You gotta help me.
427
00:21:14,294 --> 00:21:17,388
Don't worry,
I know exactly how to handle this.
428
00:21:18,365 --> 00:21:21,596
- Sabrina, have you seen Salem?
- Yeah, bottom cabinet on the right.
429
00:21:21,646 --> 00:21:26,196
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