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1
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OK, thanks for coming......and thanks even more for going.
2
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Finally, the riffraff has left the building.
3
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And the moon Io is comprised mainly of ice crystals and sulphur dioxide.
4
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Wow, I've never met anyone who knows so much about Jupiter.
5
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It's like you've been there.
6
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Three summer's in a row.
7
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You-who!
8
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The sign says coffeehouse, not boarding house.
9
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Let's pack it up, big guy.
10
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Excuse my aunt, she didn't get the subtly chromosome.
11
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That's OK, I gotta' get going anyway.
12
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But, argh...how about we finish up this tutoring session over pasta Saturday night?
13
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Oh, I'd love to.
14
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I could explain the difference between apogee and linguini.
15
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Something tells me one of those isn't a noodle.
16
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OK, junior, bust a move.
17
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Sabrina, grab a mop and start cleaning up.
18
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I'm trying to make a midnight movie.
19
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See you Saturday.
20
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Named after Saturn.
21
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Quick question: are you trying to deliberately ruin my dating life?
22
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First of all, he asked you out.
23
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And secondly, I don't have to try to ruin dates, I have a natural gift for it.
24
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Oh, well we're all special in our own way.
25
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OK, I have ten minutes to get to Rocky Horror, and I still have to change into my costume.
26
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Oh, wait � I love Rocky Horror, can I come with you?
27
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Aargh, if you can clean up this whole place in thirty seconds.
28
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Way more time than I need.
29
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Sabrina, I forgot to get your number and I wanted......wow, what happened?
30
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Two seconds ago this place was a mess.
31
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Oh, well...I am a whiz with the mop.
32
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Yeah...argh, I was a little nervous asking you out in the first place because you're so much smarter than me.
33
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I got a hunch you're better at everything.
34
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Let's just forget about Saturday.
35
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Talk about low self-esteem.
36
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Who does he remind me of?
37
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Oh, yeah...me.
38
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He was cute, too.
39
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Why'd I have to do magic and scare him off?
40
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I guess I inherited that date killer gene too.
41
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On the upside, it's the same gene that lets us do this.
42
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Freaky!
43
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Aw, my tooth!
44
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Silence, wench.
45
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I'm trying to read Liz Smith.
46
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Apparently the Material Girl really digs that Kabbalah.
47
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I appreciate your concern.
48
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Well, I'd give you the name of my dentist, but you have to get neutered at the same time.
49
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Thanks, but I have an appointment with Dr.Axelrod in the Other Realm.
50
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Could you pick me up some whitening solution for my incisors?
51
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I have a better idea.
52
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Why don't you cut back on the double espressos?
53
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Please!
54
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I quit smoking.
55
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This is all I have left.
56
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Morning.
57
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How was Rocky Horror?
58
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I got rice in my hair and toast in my bustier.
59
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Huge success.
60
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But I don't think Sabrina enjoyed herself.
61
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Didn't get any food in her nightie?
62
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She was obsessing over this mortal guy.
63
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You know the story: boy meets girl, girl uses magic, boy dumps girl.
64
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Girl goes to Rocky Horror with Aunt.
65
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Aunt sits on melted Raisinets.
66
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Aunt changes seat.
67
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Aunt seats on guy in garter belt...
68
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Hello!
69
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Back to Sabrina.
70
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I just wish she could find a nice witch to go out with.
71
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It's so tricky dating mortals.
72
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Mortals?
73
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It's tricky dating anything with a pulse.
74
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Plants I'm good with.
75
00:03:55,044 --> 00:03:57,134
So, how are things in the Mortal Realm?
76
00:03:59,767 --> 00:04:01,976
You know, my son Derek goes to school in the Mortal Realm, huh.
77
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Boston College.
78
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He's on a hockey scholarship.
79
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Why he had to go to school in the Mortal Realm is beyond me.
80
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He could've gone to school here, found himself a nice witch and settled down.
81
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Good looking kid, huh?
82
00:04:21,963 --> 00:04:24,632
I really appreciate you guys letting me come home and take a few leftovers.
83
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You left the baking soda.
84
00:04:26,556 --> 00:04:27,435
Was that intentional?
85
00:04:27,437 --> 00:04:28,436
I'm back!
86
00:04:28,437 --> 00:04:31,276
Salem, here's your whitening solution.
87
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Oh, and the dentist happened to throw in some mouthwash.
88
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How helpful for my halitosis.
89
00:04:38,704 --> 00:04:41,833
Oh, Sabrina, I see you're doing your weekly shopping.
90
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Now all I need is a cute guy to help me carry this to the car.
91
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Well, you're in luck.
92
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Dr.Axelrod happened to mention that he has a terrific, good looking son who's going to school right here in Boston.
93
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Not interested.
94
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He's smart, athletic, and best of all, he's a witch.
95
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Still, not interested.
96
00:04:59,449 --> 00:05:01,988
Sabrina, if you date a witch, you'll have a lot in common.
97
00:05:01,991 --> 00:05:04,870
I'm guessing there'll be magic between you two.
98
00:05:04,873 --> 00:05:09,752
Look, it's not the witch-part, it's the fix-up part that scares me.
99
00:05:09,756 --> 00:05:14,175
Let's hope he's not a homely, horrendous hooligan.
100
00:05:14,179 --> 00:05:16,349
Oh, hold him down, I'm going in!
101
00:05:23,906 --> 00:05:24,695
Sorry I'm late.
102
00:05:24,697 --> 00:05:27,406
Morgan and I spent the afternoon ice skating.
103
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It was a blast.
104
00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:30,328
So let's recap.
105
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You left early last night for a date, you're coming in late from a date...what's next?
106
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Would you like me to pay you to go out on a date?
107
00:05:36,675 --> 00:05:38,884
Oh, man, that would be fantastic.
108
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Work.
109
00:05:43,900 --> 00:05:45,019
Excuse me.
110
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I'm looking for Sabrina Spellman.
111
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You a cop?
112
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Sorry.
113
00:05:49,154 --> 00:05:50,203
I'm Sabrina.
114
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I'm Derek Axelrod.
115
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My father's the one keeping your Aunt Zelda up at night.
116
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Excuse me?
117
00:05:55,038 --> 00:05:56,247
He's doing her root canal.
118
00:05:56,249 --> 00:06:01,548
Oh, so you're the smart, handsome, athletic dentist son.
119
00:06:01,552 --> 00:06:03,761
And you're the professor's niece who's perfect for me.
120
00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:06,013
Oh, I'm sorry, my Aunt can be so pushy.
121
00:06:06,016 --> 00:06:08,105
Actually, my dad's the one who pushed.
122
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But, for once, I'm glad he did.
123
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I have a hard time meeting cool witches.
124
00:06:12,070 --> 00:06:13,659
Yeah, well there are no clubs on campus.
125
00:06:13,661 --> 00:06:15,450
Talk about your unrepresented minorities.
126
00:06:15,452 --> 00:06:18,371
Hey, who's that guy talking to Sabrina?
127
00:06:18,374 --> 00:06:21,043
More importantly, does he have an older brother?
128
00:06:21,046 --> 00:06:22,005
Or a twin?
129
00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:24,466
Aunt Hilda, this is Derek Axelrod.
130
00:06:24,469 --> 00:06:26,638
Oh, the dentists' son.
131
00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:30,309
Isn't it sweet how Zelda's rotten molars bought you two together?
132
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Together?
133
00:06:31,734 --> 00:06:32,813
Oh, and this is Josh.
134
00:06:32,814 --> 00:06:34,943
So, Derek...you argh, go to school around here?
135
00:06:34,946 --> 00:06:36,775
Yeah, I'm on a hockey scholarship at BC.
136
00:06:36,777 --> 00:06:38,696
Wow, you must be really good.
137
00:06:38,699 --> 00:06:45,328
Now, I've heard, argh...that a lot of hockey players wind up losing all their teeth, and then they have to hire someone to chew their food.
138
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I have an idea.
139
00:06:46,464 --> 00:06:50,054
Why don't you and I go for a walk, and you can remind me why I hired you.
140
00:06:52,308 --> 00:06:53,847
So, Derek, can I get you anything?
141
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Coffee, tea?
142
00:06:55,140 --> 00:06:56,059
How about a date?
143
00:06:56,061 --> 00:07:00,611
Well, it's not on the menu, but lucky for you it's on special today.
144
00:07:02,495 --> 00:07:03,404
That must be Derek.
145
00:07:03,406 --> 00:07:04,955
Do you like my pearl earrings?
146
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Very much so.
147
00:07:06,078 --> 00:07:07,578
Do you like my pearly whites?
148
00:07:09,590 --> 00:07:12,300
Oh, well if I ever get my sight back I'll let you know.
149
00:07:16,595 --> 00:07:17,264
Hi.
150
00:07:17,266 --> 00:07:17,765
Hi.
151
00:07:17,766 --> 00:07:20,935
Oh, flowers, and...sample floss.
152
00:07:20,938 --> 00:07:22,687
My dad wanted you to have it.
153
00:07:22,689 --> 00:07:25,068
Oh, well, nothing says romance like unwaxed.
154
00:07:25,071 --> 00:07:26,860
I'll just put these in some water.
155
00:07:26,862 --> 00:07:30,911
Young man, if I might have a word with you.
156
00:07:30,915 --> 00:07:34,544
I'm not her father, and I don't care how late you keep her out.
157
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HOWEVER, table scraps would be appreciated.
158
00:07:37,089 --> 00:07:39,008
Oh, just ignore Salem, everyone else does.
159
00:07:39,011 --> 00:07:40,680
Salem Saberhagen?
160
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The one and only.
161
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Oh, man, it's great to meet you.
162
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You're a legend in the Other Realm.
163
00:07:45,395 --> 00:07:46,024
Really?
164
00:07:46,026 --> 00:07:48,485
I though your generation had forgotten me.
165
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Lord knows we try.
166
00:07:50,449 --> 00:07:54,988
Hey, the world would be a much greater place if Salem Saberhagen were in the emperor's seat.
167
00:07:54,992 --> 00:07:55,911
Tell a friend.
168
00:07:55,913 --> 00:07:57,412
Derek, you ready to go?
169
00:07:57,414 --> 00:07:58,213
Yeah, in a second.
170
00:07:58,214 --> 00:08:01,583
My dad always said that you got a bum wrap, and he's on the Witches' Council.
171
00:08:01,587 --> 00:08:02,846
The Witches' Council?
172
00:08:02,847 --> 00:08:06,556
Hey, how about you dump the broad and we throw back a couple of brewskies?
173
00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:07,429
I'm buying.
174
00:08:07,431 --> 00:08:12,690
Oh, if you wanna' keep the beautiful smile, I suggest you take your lips off my dates' butt.
175
00:08:12,694 --> 00:08:14,734
Let's go.
176
00:08:17,578 --> 00:08:22,827
There was that time my aunts were making a potion, and the mortal I was dating thought it was soup and tried some.
177
00:08:22,831 --> 00:08:26,301
We had a hard time convincing him that everyone's tongue occasionally grows hair.
178
00:08:26,504 --> 00:08:27,633
Been there.
179
00:08:27,635 --> 00:08:32,724
One time on a date with a mortal, I let it slip that my dead ancestors' were coming in for my family reunion.
180
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Suddenly, the date was as dead as my Uncle Murray.
181
00:08:35,270 --> 00:08:38,189
You know, it's so nice not having to watch what I say.
182
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If I had this conversation with a mortal, he'd totally freak out.
183
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Not that I have anything against mortals.
184
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I mean, my mother's a mortal?
185
00:08:43,996 --> 00:08:47,875
Oh, you're half-mortal?
186
00:08:47,879 --> 00:08:48,998
Yeah. Something wrong?
187
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,009
No.
188
00:08:50,011 --> 00:08:53,050
I'm just a little surprised, you seem like a total witch.
189
00:08:53,053 --> 00:08:55,143
That's so sweet.
190
00:08:57,816 --> 00:09:00,855
Everything's been going so great with Derek.
191
00:09:00,858 --> 00:09:02,897
Last week we went hiking on the moon.
192
00:09:02,900 --> 00:09:05,489
Yesterday, we went to the best seafood place in Atlantis.
193
00:09:05,491 --> 00:09:06,781
Oh, and look what he gave me.
194
00:09:08,243 --> 00:09:10,082
That's a mighty big scallop.
195
00:09:10,085 --> 00:09:11,544
No, it's a hockey puck.
196
00:09:11,546 --> 00:09:12,835
Derek scored the winning goal with this.
197
00:09:12,837 --> 00:09:16,966
You know, in my day, a gentleman showed his affection by bringing you a vial of frankincense.
198
00:09:16,969 --> 00:09:19,718
I guess the times, they are a-changing.
199
00:09:19,721 --> 00:09:22,640
Sounds like things are going pretty well between you and Derek.
200
00:09:22,643 --> 00:09:25,232
Yeah.He's taking me home tonight to meet his parents for dinner.
201
00:09:25,235 --> 00:09:27,774
Thanks for introducing us.
202
00:09:27,777 --> 00:09:28,737
You're welcome.
203
00:09:31,990 --> 00:09:34,999
Exactly what did you have to do with them getting together?
204
00:09:35,002 --> 00:09:37,001
They met at my coffeehouse.
205
00:09:37,003 --> 00:09:39,382
After I set them up at my dentist office.
206
00:09:39,385 --> 00:09:41,554
And, why were you at the dentist?
207
00:09:41,557 --> 00:09:44,726
Because I cracked my tooth on one of your stale biscotti's.
208
00:09:44,729 --> 00:09:45,679
I rest my case.
209
00:09:48,602 --> 00:09:49,271
Here it is.
210
00:09:49,272 --> 00:09:51,071
I don't know why, but I'm a little nervous.
211
00:09:51,073 --> 00:09:52,482
What if your parents don't like me?
212
00:09:52,484 --> 00:09:53,863
Of course they're gonna' like you.
213
00:09:53,865 --> 00:09:54,615
What's not to like?
214
00:09:58,539 --> 00:09:59,629
Gotta' like that.
215
00:10:01,381 --> 00:10:02,500
Hey, could I ask you a favour?
216
00:10:02,501 --> 00:10:03,500
Yeah, sure.
217
00:10:03,502 --> 00:10:07,302
Would you mind not mentioning to my parents you're half-mortal?They're a little funny about stuff like that.
218
00:10:08,846 --> 00:10:11,015
Hey, it's the kids!
219
00:10:11,017 --> 00:10:12,766
Florence, stop cleaning already.
220
00:10:12,769 --> 00:10:13,478
The kids are here.
221
00:10:13,479 --> 00:10:15,728
Tell them to come on in, it's freezing out there!
222
00:10:15,731 --> 00:10:16,610
Oh, good idea.
223
00:10:16,611 --> 00:10:19,611
My liability insurance doesn't cover frozen girlfriends!
224
00:10:23,166 --> 00:10:25,205
Mmm, braised dragon.
225
00:10:25,207 --> 00:10:27,167
May I have more bread, please?
226
00:10:28,299 --> 00:10:30,128
Hey, you're not gonna' eat your skin?
227
00:10:30,131 --> 00:10:31,090
It's the best part.
228
00:10:31,091 --> 00:10:33,510
Oh, the scales get stuck in my teeth.
229
00:10:33,513 --> 00:10:35,812
Ah, sounds like a flosser.
230
00:10:35,815 --> 00:10:40,644
Sabrina, has anyone ever told you you have a perfect bite?
231
00:10:40,648 --> 00:10:42,737
No, but I get a lot of compliments on my bark.
232
00:10:42,740 --> 00:10:45,949
Flo, she's got a sense of humour!
233
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If you're smart, you won't let this one get away.
234
00:10:49,254 --> 00:10:50,163
Mom.
235
00:10:50,165 --> 00:10:52,424
I heard a great joke today.
236
00:10:52,426 --> 00:10:55,295
These two mortals walk into a bar...
237
00:10:55,298 --> 00:10:55,847
Dad!
238
00:10:55,849 --> 00:10:57,598
Aargh, you're right.
239
00:10:57,600 --> 00:10:59,519
Maybe that one's a little too racy.
240
00:10:59,521 --> 00:11:02,560
Sabrina, what do you call a mortal with half a brain?
241
00:11:02,563 --> 00:11:05,612
I, argh...I don't know.
242
00:11:05,616 --> 00:11:06,656
Gifted.
243
00:11:10,159 --> 00:11:11,658
Aargh, you have a lovely home here.
244
00:11:11,660 --> 00:11:12,829
Oh, well, thank you.
245
00:11:12,831 --> 00:11:14,540
We've lived here for four-hundred years.
246
00:11:14,542 --> 00:11:17,671
It was a wonderful neighbourhood until the mortals started moving in.
247
00:11:17,674 --> 00:11:19,763
Property values are dropping like flies.
248
00:11:19,765 --> 00:11:22,344
Mortals...mortals can't live in the Other Realm.
249
00:11:22,347 --> 00:11:24,266
Mortals, half mortals, what's the difference?
250
00:11:24,269 --> 00:11:25,058
It's in their blood.
251
00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:26,558
Who wants the last aardvark fritter?
252
00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:29,019
Don't get me wrong, Sabrina.
253
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:31,611
Some of my best friends are half mortals.
254
00:11:31,614 --> 00:11:33,993
I just don't want them living in my neighbourhood.
255
00:11:33,995 --> 00:11:35,284
You hear what I'm saying?
256
00:11:35,286 --> 00:11:37,666
Loud and clear.
257
00:11:49,226 --> 00:11:50,565
Good, you're home late.
258
00:11:50,567 --> 00:11:52,186
That means the date went well.
259
00:11:52,188 --> 00:11:53,027
Guess again.
260
00:11:53,029 --> 00:11:54,778
Don't tell me you blew it!
261
00:11:54,780 --> 00:11:58,659
I'm working on an early parole, and Derek's father is on the Witches' Council.
262
00:11:58,663 --> 00:12:00,532
Oh, well Derek's father's also a total bigot.
263
00:12:00,534 --> 00:12:03,203
I had to spend the entire evening trying to hide the fact that I'm half mortal.
264
00:12:03,206 --> 00:12:04,375
That's awful.
265
00:12:04,377 --> 00:12:05,666
I hate prejudice.
266
00:12:05,668 --> 00:12:09,507
Do you know how many women have rejected me just because I have four legs and a tail?
267
00:12:09,510 --> 00:12:10,969
It's wrong, I tell you.
268
00:12:10,971 --> 00:12:13,520
Why don't they care about what's inside?
269
00:12:13,523 --> 00:12:16,692
Salem, what's on the inside of you is a selfish, misogynistic pig.
270
00:12:16,695 --> 00:12:19,024
Pigs are people too.
271
00:12:19,027 --> 00:12:22,616
I may have to break up with Derek, his family is just to hideous.
272
00:12:22,620 --> 00:12:24,699
Well, that doesn't mean that Derek is.
273
00:12:24,701 --> 00:12:29,631
Wow, this long distance phone companies will do anything to get you to switch.
274
00:12:30,585 --> 00:12:31,424
Hello?
275
00:12:31,426 --> 00:12:33,005
Hi, Sabrina.
276
00:12:33,007 --> 00:12:34,136
Hi.
277
00:12:34,138 --> 00:12:35,267
It's Derek.
278
00:12:35,268 --> 00:12:36,637
I can see that.
279
00:12:36,639 --> 00:12:39,768
Listen, I just wanted to apologize again for what happened tonight.
280
00:12:39,772 --> 00:12:41,061
Forgiven, forgotten.
281
00:12:41,062 --> 00:12:42,521
I'm really sorry.
282
00:12:42,523 --> 00:12:44,532
I wanted tonight to be perfect.
283
00:12:44,535 --> 00:12:49,914
Sabrina, I really like you, and I just hope you won't hold me responsible for my parents' behaviours.
284
00:12:49,919 --> 00:12:53,378
Do you have any idea how horrible it was to sit through those horrible jokes?
285
00:12:53,381 --> 00:12:54,750
Why didn't you say something?
286
00:12:54,752 --> 00:12:56,461
I should have.
287
00:12:56,463 --> 00:12:59,512
I...I just stopped trying to fight with my parents.
288
00:12:59,515 --> 00:13:00,724
They're set in their ways.
289
00:13:00,726 --> 00:13:03,015
Why do you think I go to school in the Mortal Realm?
290
00:13:03,018 --> 00:13:05,937
Well, I guess I wouldn't want anyone to hold my aunts' behaviour against me.
291
00:13:05,940 --> 00:13:12,909
Listen, argh, I just front row tickets to see the Black Hole Surfers on Friday night in the Other Realm forum.
292
00:13:12,915 --> 00:13:15,124
Would you be interested in going?
293
00:13:15,126 --> 00:13:16,335
Are your parents coming?
294
00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:16,956
No.
295
00:13:16,958 --> 00:13:18,457
Pick me up at seven.
296
00:13:18,459 --> 00:13:19,798
Great.
297
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:23,930
Oh, by the way...that phone you're holding, it's white chocolate.
298
00:13:27,645 --> 00:13:35,154
Belgian.
299
00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:35,779
Here's your cappuccino, served at the tooth-friendly temperature of lukewarm.
300
00:13:35,781 --> 00:13:38,450
So, I hear things are heating up between you and Derek.
301
00:13:38,453 --> 00:13:39,373
Oh, thank you.
302
00:13:43,086 --> 00:13:45,505
Yeah, let's just say we could melt a glacier.
303
00:13:45,508 --> 00:13:47,757
Are you listening to this?
304
00:13:47,759 --> 00:13:49,718
"Derek, Derek, Derek".
305
00:13:49,721 --> 00:13:51,930
What's so special about Derek, anyway?
306
00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:59,321
Well, in alphabetical order, he's: athletic, buff, charismatic, dashing, effervescent, funny, gorgeous...
307
00:13:59,327 --> 00:14:00,826
It was a rhetorical question.
308
00:14:00,828 --> 00:14:04,287
See, now that wasn't too bad, was it?
309
00:14:04,291 --> 00:14:07,710
No, not after I passed out from the pain.
310
00:14:07,713 --> 00:14:13,762
Well, this may be your last visit to my office, but I have a hunch we'll be seeing a lot more of each other.
311
00:14:13,767 --> 00:14:18,606
Yes, it seems like Sabrina and Derek are really hitting it off.
312
00:14:18,611 --> 00:14:20,320
Oh, your niece is a terrific girl.
313
00:14:20,322 --> 00:14:22,031
And what a sense of humour.
314
00:14:22,033 --> 00:14:23,652
She really loved all my jokes.
315
00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:27,663
Well, I could use a laugh, seeing as how you just drilled down to my last good nerve.
316
00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:28,916
OK.
317
00:14:28,918 --> 00:14:32,127
Um...what has an IQ of one hundred and ninety two?
318
00:14:32,130 --> 00:14:33,209
I don't know.
319
00:14:33,211 --> 00:14:35,380
The entire Mortal Realm.
320
00:14:35,383 --> 00:14:38,642
Sabrina found that funny?
321
00:14:38,645 --> 00:14:39,934
Who wouldn't?
322
00:14:39,936 --> 00:14:43,565
Maybe somebody who's half mortal.
323
00:14:43,568 --> 00:14:47,357
Well, we don't associate with people like that, so we've got nothing to worry about.
324
00:14:47,361 --> 00:14:48,490
I see.
325
00:14:48,492 --> 00:14:52,621
Well, this has been a painful afternoon.
326
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:54,455
In more ways than one.
327
00:14:58,799 --> 00:15:00,338
OK, for my date with Derek, how about this?
328
00:15:00,340 --> 00:15:01,179
Too long.
329
00:15:01,181 --> 00:15:04,430
OK......this?
330
00:15:04,433 --> 00:15:05,352
Too long.
331
00:15:05,354 --> 00:15:06,183
Salem!
332
00:15:06,184 --> 00:15:09,313
I'm just saying, don't be afraid to show some skin.
333
00:15:09,316 --> 00:15:10,565
Oh, you mean like this?
334
00:15:10,567 --> 00:15:12,446
Are you mad, woman?
335
00:15:12,449 --> 00:15:13,829
I could catch my death!
336
00:15:16,752 --> 00:15:19,291
Whatever you did, I'm sure you deserved it.
337
00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:20,832
Hey Aunt Zelda, what are you doing here?
338
00:15:20,834 --> 00:15:24,423
Well, I've just come back from the dentist and I'm a little concerned.
339
00:15:24,427 --> 00:15:26,766
Does Derek know you're a half mortal?
340
00:15:26,769 --> 00:15:28,308
Yeah, I told him on our first date.
341
00:15:28,310 --> 00:15:29,939
And he was OK with it?
342
00:15:29,941 --> 00:15:30,770
Yeah.
343
00:15:30,771 --> 00:15:35,400
Look, his father's a total bigot, but Derek's not like that.
344
00:15:35,405 --> 00:15:37,034
What makes you so sure?
345
00:15:37,036 --> 00:15:39,865
Well, we talked about it, and he still wants to go out with me.
346
00:15:39,868 --> 00:15:40,957
And, you know what?
347
00:15:40,959 --> 00:15:42,538
He's meeting me in an hour to go to the Other Realm.
348
00:15:42,540 --> 00:15:48,759
Honey, I don't mean to put a damper on this, but in my experience, the apple doesn't fall very far from the tree.
349
00:15:48,764 --> 00:15:49,973
Look, Derek's great.
350
00:15:49,975 --> 00:15:52,264
Everything's fine, you've got nothing to worry about.
351
00:15:52,266 --> 00:15:53,935
Then do me a favour.
352
00:15:53,938 --> 00:15:57,567
Since you're going to the Other Realm, why don't you use the portal at our house?
353
00:15:57,570 --> 00:16:00,109
That way Hilda and I can ask him a few questions.
354
00:16:00,112 --> 00:16:01,951
Fine, whatever.
355
00:16:01,953 --> 00:16:04,452
But first you have to help me find something to wear.
356
00:16:04,455 --> 00:16:09,085
If you find anything with black fur and four sleeves, toss it this way!
357
00:16:13,431 --> 00:16:16,430
Oh, now please remember, this is a date, not the Nuremburg Trials.
358
00:16:16,433 --> 00:16:18,472
Keep your answers short, civil, and to the point.
359
00:16:18,475 --> 00:16:19,854
Well, I'm out.
360
00:16:19,856 --> 00:16:21,185
Hey, Sabrina.
361
00:16:21,187 --> 00:16:22,236
Ready to go?
362
00:16:22,237 --> 00:16:24,736
Almost, um...do you mind if we sit down for a second?
363
00:16:24,739 --> 00:16:26,198
My aunts' wanna' get to know you a little better.
364
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:27,159
Hi, Derek.
365
00:16:27,161 --> 00:16:27,990
I'm Zelda.
366
00:16:27,991 --> 00:16:28,990
And you've met Hilda.
367
00:16:28,992 --> 00:16:29,871
Oh!
368
00:16:29,873 --> 00:16:31,662
Magic caramel corn.
369
00:16:31,664 --> 00:16:32,253
That's my favourite.
370
00:16:32,254 --> 00:16:34,123
Oh yeah, I brought it for the concert.
371
00:16:34,126 --> 00:16:35,175
You're welcome to...
372
00:16:35,177 --> 00:16:35,966
Thanks!
373
00:16:35,967 --> 00:16:40,216
"Guaranteed to tickle your inside" � well, I'll be the judge of that.
374
00:16:40,220 --> 00:16:41,720
Well, why don't we all sit down?
375
00:16:44,233 --> 00:16:44,602
Sorry.
376
00:16:44,603 --> 00:16:50,322
So, um, Derek, why don't you tell my aunts how much you love living in the Mortal Realm with mortals?
377
00:16:50,327 --> 00:16:51,786
I like it.
378
00:16:51,788 --> 00:16:52,367
Great.
379
00:16:52,369 --> 00:16:53,198
OK, nice chatting, let's go.
380
00:16:53,199 --> 00:16:54,248
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
381
00:16:54,250 --> 00:16:55,209
Not so fast.
382
00:16:55,211 --> 00:16:59,960
You know Derek, I heard that some witches wanna' start a country club that excludes mortals.
383
00:16:59,964 --> 00:17:01,053
What do you think of that?
384
00:17:01,055 --> 00:17:03,095
That is the last club that I'd ever join.
385
00:17:06,388 --> 00:17:06,937
Hilda.
386
00:17:06,939 --> 00:17:07,808
Sorry.
387
00:17:07,809 --> 00:17:09,518
This corn is so funny.
388
00:17:09,521 --> 00:17:14,940
Well, surely you'd want separate golf courses?
389
00:17:14,944 --> 00:17:16,283
Wouldn't really matter to me.
390
00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:17,034
Don't play golf.
391
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:21,585
Oh, listen, argh...I don't mean to be rude, but we have to get to the concert.
392
00:17:21,589 --> 00:17:22,498
It starts in half an hour.
393
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:23,839
Yeah, you know concerts.
394
00:17:23,841 --> 00:17:24,630
They always start early.
395
00:17:24,631 --> 00:17:25,510
OK, bye!
396
00:17:25,512 --> 00:17:26,221
Bye!
397
00:17:26,222 --> 00:17:27,721
Hey, nice to meet you guys.
398
00:17:27,723 --> 00:17:28,632
Well, have fun.
399
00:17:28,634 --> 00:17:32,263
Well, that was thoroughly unsatisfying.
400
00:17:32,267 --> 00:17:34,016
I had a lot more questions I wanted to ask him.
401
00:17:34,018 --> 00:17:36,528
Me too, like where did he get this corn?
402
00:17:40,282 --> 00:17:43,241
Man, that was a great concert, huh?
403
00:17:43,244 --> 00:17:45,543
Yeah, and look at this juice bar.
404
00:17:45,546 --> 00:17:46,295
This place is so cool.
405
00:17:46,296 --> 00:17:48,585
You'd never see a place like this in the Mortal Realm.
406
00:17:48,588 --> 00:17:49,467
Yeah.
407
00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:51,508
That's kind of why I wanted to bring you here.
408
00:17:51,510 --> 00:17:54,599
In case I haven't told you lately, you are very special to me.
409
00:17:54,602 --> 00:17:56,931
Well, it's been three minutes, I was getting a little worried.
410
00:17:56,934 --> 00:17:59,443
So, what can I do you for?
411
00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:01,735
Aargh...two pineapple tsunamis.
412
00:18:01,737 --> 00:18:03,566
Always the complicated drinks.
413
00:18:03,568 --> 00:18:05,868
Just once, I wish someone would order a Snapple.
414
00:18:09,202 --> 00:18:09,661
Careful.
415
00:18:09,663 --> 00:18:11,083
These tsunamis can be a little rough.
416
00:18:15,137 --> 00:18:16,846
So much for that warning.
417
00:18:16,848 --> 00:18:19,017
I'll be right back, I think I got a starfish up my nose.
418
00:18:19,019 --> 00:18:25,518
Hey buddy, I hope I'm not out of line here, but your girlfriend is one good looking witch.
419
00:18:25,524 --> 00:18:26,193
Thanks.
420
00:18:26,194 --> 00:18:28,363
Actually, she's half mortal.
421
00:18:28,366 --> 00:18:29,995
What'd I tell you, huh?
422
00:18:29,997 --> 00:18:30,786
Can I spot them or what?
423
00:18:30,788 --> 00:18:33,867
You don't have a problem dating a half mortal?
424
00:18:33,870 --> 00:18:34,959
Why would I have a problem?
425
00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:35,709
Well...
426
00:18:35,711 --> 00:18:39,840
Sure, mortals aren't the smartest carbon-based life form, but, hey, she's a cutie.
427
00:18:39,844 --> 00:18:41,723
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
428
00:18:41,725 --> 00:18:42,674
I just heard a great one.
429
00:18:42,676 --> 00:18:45,395
How many mortals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
430
00:18:45,398 --> 00:18:46,767
A hundred and fifty.
431
00:18:46,769 --> 00:18:49,068
One to hold the bulb and a hundred and forty nine to turn the house.
432
00:18:49,070 --> 00:18:51,029
I guess you've heard that one, huh?
433
00:18:51,032 --> 00:18:51,861
I know them all, man.
434
00:18:51,862 --> 00:18:54,281
What do you call a mortal with half of a brain?
435
00:18:54,284 --> 00:18:55,783
Gifted.
436
00:18:55,785 --> 00:18:58,834
Love that joke, man.
437
00:18:58,837 --> 00:19:02,336
So, you're just staying with cutie there until something better comes along, huh?
438
00:19:02,340 --> 00:19:04,759
Hey, it is not easy to find a full witch in the Mortal Realm.
439
00:19:04,761 --> 00:19:06,390
Sometimes you gotta' settle.
440
00:19:06,393 --> 00:19:07,392
Settle?
441
00:19:07,393 --> 00:19:08,852
Sabrina.
442
00:19:08,854 --> 00:19:09,813
How could you say that?
443
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:10,854
Is that really how you feel?
444
00:19:10,856 --> 00:19:11,475
No.
445
00:19:11,476 --> 00:19:15,645
Why did you say those things, and why are you telling those idiotic jokes when you know how much they hurt me?
446
00:19:15,649 --> 00:19:17,108
Come on, I didn't mean anything by it.
447
00:19:17,110 --> 00:19:19,779
Look, I'm with a couple of guys, this is what guys do.
448
00:19:19,782 --> 00:19:21,491
Yeah, well this is what I do.
449
00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:22,452
Sabrina, wait.
450
00:19:22,454 --> 00:19:25,373
You're making a big mistake.
451
00:19:25,376 --> 00:19:25,965
Am I?
452
00:19:25,966 --> 00:19:26,835
Derek, tell me the truth.
453
00:19:26,837 --> 00:19:29,256
Could you ever get seriously involved with someone who wasn't a full witch?
454
00:19:29,259 --> 00:19:30,298
We're having fun.
455
00:19:30,299 --> 00:19:31,678
Don't get all mortal on me.
456
00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:32,469
Don't worry.
457
00:19:32,471 --> 00:19:33,390
There's a whole other side to me.
458
00:19:33,391 --> 00:19:35,101
This date is officially over.
459
00:19:39,946 --> 00:19:42,825
That's OK, sweetie, there's plenty of fish in the sea.
460
00:19:42,828 --> 00:19:45,157
Back off, slime ball, and get your furry mitts off me!
461
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:48,249
Sorry, honey.
462
00:19:48,252 --> 00:19:50,711
Oh, you must feel terrible.
463
00:19:50,714 --> 00:19:52,923
Aunt Hilda, Aunt Zelda, what are you doing here?
464
00:19:52,925 --> 00:19:54,804
We came to seek the truth.
465
00:19:54,806 --> 00:19:56,555
Sorry we had to get ugly on you.
466
00:19:56,558 --> 00:20:00,937
Normally I'd be really mad at you, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
467
00:20:00,941 --> 00:20:02,690
What was I thinking?
468
00:20:02,692 --> 00:20:06,321
You were thinking that you met the one guy out there who's not a jerk.
469
00:20:06,325 --> 00:20:08,784
Is there a guy out there who's not a jerk?
470
00:20:08,786 --> 00:20:09,915
Of course there is.
471
00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:16,166
Sabrina, I don't know if he'll be a witch, I don't know if he'll be a mortal, but I know there's someone out there for you.
472
00:20:16,171 --> 00:20:17,840
Is there someone out there for me?
473
00:20:17,843 --> 00:20:20,632
You know, I heard they make really great tsunamis here.
474
00:20:20,635 --> 00:20:22,434
I asked you a question.
475
00:20:22,436 --> 00:20:24,645
Very frothy, with just a hint of mint.
476
00:20:24,647 --> 00:20:25,856
I demand an answer.
477
00:20:25,858 --> 00:20:28,318
IS THERE SOMEBODY OUT THERE FOR ME?
478
00:20:34,324 --> 00:20:35,834
I think you just killed happy hour.
479
00:20:48,064 --> 00:20:48,563
Hello?
480
00:20:48,564 --> 00:20:49,853
Hey, Sabrina.
481
00:20:49,855 --> 00:20:51,184
I'm surprised to find you home.
482
00:20:51,186 --> 00:20:52,855
It's two o'clock in the morning.
483
00:20:52,857 --> 00:20:53,856
Yeah, exactly.
484
00:20:53,858 --> 00:20:56,027
I've been leaving messages for Morgan since nine o'clock.
485
00:20:56,029 --> 00:20:57,448
Oh, she went to bed early.
486
00:20:57,450 --> 00:21:00,579
She has a spar appointment tomorrow and she wants to be well rested.
487
00:21:00,583 --> 00:21:03,622
Well, how are things going with you and Derek?
488
00:21:03,625 --> 00:21:04,674
They're gone.
489
00:21:04,675 --> 00:21:05,794
It's over.
490
00:21:05,796 --> 00:21:09,215
I'm really sorry to hear that.
491
00:21:09,219 --> 00:21:10,178
Thanks, Josh.
492
00:21:10,179 --> 00:21:11,478
I'll tell Morgan you called.
493
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:12,269
Thanks.
494
00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:15,060
Man, am I tired.
495
00:21:15,063 --> 00:21:16,102
Good night, Salem.
496
00:21:16,103 --> 00:21:17,733
Good night, Sabrina.
497
00:21:21,907 --> 00:21:23,207
Oh, do you mind!
498
00:21:24,669 --> 00:21:25,498
Sorry.
499
00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:27,460
I thought you were gonna' stay up and read.
500
00:21:27,510 --> 00:21:32,060
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