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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,900 --> 00:00:03,235 Okay, how do I look? 2 00:00:03,235 --> 00:00:06,238 Like a vision, an angel descended from heaven-- 3 00:00:06,238 --> 00:00:08,307 in short, meow! 4 00:00:08,307 --> 00:00:10,142 Whatever it is you want, no. 5 00:00:10,142 --> 00:00:12,111 I want nothing but to wish you well 6 00:00:12,111 --> 00:00:14,146 on your other-realm egghead retreat. 7 00:00:14,146 --> 00:00:16,415 You just want to get rid of me so you can have 8 00:00:16,415 --> 00:00:18,150 one of your wild bachelor weekends. 9 00:00:18,150 --> 00:00:19,485 Of all the times for Hilda 10 00:00:19,485 --> 00:00:21,453 to be picking coffee beans in Honduras. 11 00:00:21,453 --> 00:00:23,589 You don't have to worry about me partying. 12 00:00:23,589 --> 00:00:25,124 I'll be having a quiet weekend 13 00:00:25,124 --> 00:00:26,925 curled up with Memoirs of a Geisha. 14 00:00:26,925 --> 00:00:27,926 I appreciate that. 15 00:00:27,926 --> 00:00:29,495 The last thing I want to do is 16 00:00:29,495 --> 00:00:32,064 stress out about you while I'm at Genius-palooza. 17 00:00:32,064 --> 00:00:34,500 Hurry up and get out of here so I can start missing you. 18 00:00:34,500 --> 00:00:35,834 ( closet doorbell rings ) 19 00:00:35,834 --> 00:00:37,002 Who could that be? 20 00:00:37,002 --> 00:00:38,737 I'm not expecting anyone... 21 00:00:38,737 --> 00:00:40,472 so soon. 22 00:00:40,472 --> 00:00:41,673 Mrs. Saberhagen? 23 00:00:41,673 --> 00:00:44,042 We've got your order here for 50 folding chairs 24 00:00:44,042 --> 00:00:46,345 deluxe fajita bar, three gallons of guacamole 25 00:00:46,345 --> 00:00:47,513 and... one pinata. 26 00:00:47,513 --> 00:00:49,648 You must be having one heck of a party. 27 00:00:49,648 --> 00:00:51,116 Fiesta! 28 00:00:51,116 --> 00:00:53,719 The fiesta's over, gato stupido. 29 00:00:53,719 --> 00:00:55,988 Can't I at least keep the pinata? 30 00:00:55,988 --> 00:00:57,189 You are the pinata. 31 00:00:57,189 --> 00:00:59,191 ( whimpering ) 32 00:00:59,191 --> 00:01:02,394 You mean a stomach full of candy? 33 00:01:02,394 --> 00:01:04,496 Oh Henry, show me the nougat! 34 00:01:07,258 --> 00:01:11,258 ♪ Life's changing around me, and I'm gonna make it mine ♪ 35 00:01:14,065 --> 00:01:18,065 ♪ I'm reaching out and living by my rules... ♪ 36 00:01:20,605 --> 00:01:23,775 ♪ Time's moving way too fast ♪ 37 00:01:23,775 --> 00:01:27,775 ♪ I wanna make it last... ♪ 38 00:01:29,948 --> 00:01:33,451 ♪ 'Cause I'm out on my own now ♪ 39 00:01:33,451 --> 00:01:37,451 ♪ And I like the way it feels. ♪ 40 00:01:44,358 --> 00:01:45,826 And that brings us 41 00:01:45,826 --> 00:01:47,761 to the very crux of existentialism. 42 00:01:47,761 --> 00:01:51,761 Now, can anyone... prove to me that this chair exists? 43 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,001 Ms. Spellman? 44 00:01:54,001 --> 00:01:56,036 According to Descartes 45 00:01:56,036 --> 00:01:56,470 the fact that I perceive the chair 46 00:01:56,470 --> 00:01:57,871 and the fact that I perceive myself 47 00:01:57,871 --> 00:01:59,006 based on the fact that you perceive me... 48 00:01:59,006 --> 00:02:01,241 Anyone else? 49 00:02:01,241 --> 00:02:02,876 Mr. Goodman, prove to me 50 00:02:02,876 --> 00:02:04,511 that this chair exists. 51 00:02:04,511 --> 00:02:05,646 What chair? 52 00:02:05,646 --> 00:02:06,713 Brilliant. 53 00:02:06,713 --> 00:02:08,815 Class, take note 54 00:02:08,815 --> 00:02:11,551 of Mr. Goodman's unconventional perspective 55 00:02:11,551 --> 00:02:13,520 on the so-called... obvious. 56 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:14,688 Dismissed. 57 00:02:15,155 --> 00:02:17,491 Great, now the other kids are going to beat me up. 58 00:02:17,491 --> 00:02:18,992 Miles, this isn't grade school. 59 00:02:18,992 --> 00:02:21,862 "Grade school"? Try K through 12. 60 00:02:21,862 --> 00:02:22,863 Hey, Goodman... 61 00:02:22,863 --> 00:02:24,698 I think I can take the girl. 62 00:02:24,698 --> 00:02:25,766 I got your back. 63 00:02:25,766 --> 00:02:27,534 Great job in Philosophy. 64 00:02:27,534 --> 00:02:29,436 "What chair?"-- Brilliant. 65 00:02:29,436 --> 00:02:31,038 Oh, thanks. 66 00:02:31,038 --> 00:02:33,040 I wonder if it'll work with, "What homework?" 67 00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:36,510 You know, technically, there really was a chair in there. 68 00:02:36,510 --> 00:02:39,112 It was brown. You could see it. 69 00:02:39,112 --> 00:02:40,514 Forget it. 70 00:02:40,514 --> 00:02:42,749 We just wanted to say that we're blown away 71 00:02:42,749 --> 00:02:45,152 by your intellect and your whole take on life. 72 00:02:45,152 --> 00:02:47,988 You seem like the kind of guy who's open to new ideas. 73 00:02:47,988 --> 00:02:49,222 Definitely. You should see 74 00:02:49,222 --> 00:02:51,625 the bizarre electronic equipment he has in his room 75 00:02:51,625 --> 00:02:53,961 and he claims he can communicate with... no one. 76 00:02:53,961 --> 00:02:56,663 Jason and I just joined a group you might be interested in. 77 00:02:56,663 --> 00:02:59,333 It's dedicated to the exploration of alternate realities 78 00:02:59,333 --> 00:03:01,268 and the search for truth in the universe. 79 00:03:01,268 --> 00:03:03,070 Wow, sounds like it's right up your alley. 80 00:03:03,070 --> 00:03:05,172 We have open meetings every Friday night 81 00:03:05,172 --> 00:03:06,873 and we'd love it if you came by. 82 00:03:06,873 --> 00:03:07,908 No, thanks. I'm not... 83 00:03:07,908 --> 00:03:08,909 He'll be there. 84 00:03:08,909 --> 00:03:10,877 Great. Bye. 85 00:03:12,512 --> 00:03:13,680 Since when are you my mother? 86 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:14,614 I'm not going to that group 87 00:03:14,614 --> 00:03:16,650 and I'm not calling you and Dad when I get there. 88 00:03:16,650 --> 00:03:17,651 You know, you never go out. 89 00:03:17,651 --> 00:03:19,720 Do you have any social life at all? 90 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:22,689 This is it. I'm making eye contact and everything. 91 00:03:22,689 --> 00:03:23,256 You're always talking 92 00:03:23,256 --> 00:03:24,958 about alternate realities and junk like that. 93 00:03:24,958 --> 00:03:25,959 It puts most people to sleep 94 00:03:25,959 --> 00:03:27,527 but those two think you're a god. 95 00:03:27,527 --> 00:03:28,662 In case you haven't noticed, 96 00:03:28,662 --> 00:03:30,964 I don't feel real comfortable around large groups of people. 97 00:03:30,964 --> 00:03:32,599 What do you consider a large group? 98 00:03:32,599 --> 00:03:34,634 Anyone more than me. 99 00:03:34,634 --> 00:03:35,469 ( doorbell rings ) 100 00:03:35,469 --> 00:03:36,470 Come on in. 101 00:03:36,470 --> 00:03:38,238 Money's on the coffee table. 102 00:03:39,072 --> 00:03:40,340 Hello. 103 00:03:40,340 --> 00:03:43,076 Canton Gardens. 104 00:03:43,076 --> 00:03:44,411 ( TV playing ) 105 00:03:44,411 --> 00:03:47,014 I'm stealing all your furniture. 106 00:03:51,785 --> 00:03:53,053 Thank you... 107 00:03:53,053 --> 00:03:54,388 for the lousy tip. 108 00:03:55,489 --> 00:03:58,792 That idiot forgot the fortune cookies. 109 00:03:58,792 --> 00:04:02,729 I did not forget the fortune cookies! 110 00:04:02,729 --> 00:04:03,764 What did you say? 111 00:04:03,764 --> 00:04:05,332 Uh... 112 00:04:05,332 --> 00:04:07,567 meow? 113 00:04:07,567 --> 00:04:08,935 Hey, maybe we should invite Miles 114 00:04:08,935 --> 00:04:10,237 to come to the movies with us. 115 00:04:10,237 --> 00:04:11,238 Do we have to? 116 00:04:11,238 --> 00:04:13,206 We're meeting normal people tonight. 117 00:04:13,206 --> 00:04:14,841 What if I promise he won't use 118 00:04:14,841 --> 00:04:17,310 the words "Roswell," "Bigfoot" or "Klingon"? 119 00:04:17,310 --> 00:04:19,846 We still have to deal with his latest conspiracy theory-- 120 00:04:19,846 --> 00:04:23,216 "The moon landing was a total hoax." 121 00:04:23,216 --> 00:04:25,018 Look, I happen to know there's a whole group of people 122 00:04:25,018 --> 00:04:27,888 that are very interested in what Miles thinks 123 00:04:27,888 --> 00:04:31,888 and not just psychiatrists. 124 00:04:36,163 --> 00:04:40,333 Miles: Come in, Sabrina. 125 00:04:40,333 --> 00:04:42,202 Thanks for the secret knock. 126 00:04:42,202 --> 00:04:43,970 Oh, no problem, and don't worry, I wasn't followed. 127 00:04:43,970 --> 00:04:44,738 New toy? 128 00:04:44,738 --> 00:04:47,441 Been saving for this baby since I was 15. 129 00:04:47,441 --> 00:04:49,342 This is the Argonaut XR-9-- 130 00:04:49,342 --> 00:04:51,611 eight-inch parabolic primary mirror 131 00:04:51,611 --> 00:04:53,447 800-millimeter focal length 132 00:04:53,447 --> 00:04:55,982 so powerful, pointing it at the moon is like being there 133 00:04:55,982 --> 00:04:57,517 which is a lot more than I can say 134 00:04:57,517 --> 00:04:58,618 for Mr. Neil Armstrong. 135 00:04:58,618 --> 00:05:00,053 Now, how about taking a break 136 00:05:00,053 --> 00:05:01,555 and coming with us to the movies? 137 00:05:01,555 --> 00:05:02,556 No, thanks. 138 00:05:02,556 --> 00:05:03,623 I'm staying in tonight. 139 00:05:03,623 --> 00:05:05,225 Miles, you can't stay in every night. 140 00:05:05,225 --> 00:05:07,861 How's everyone going to know what a great guy you are if... 141 00:05:07,861 --> 00:05:10,297 Hey, can you point this thing at the men's weight room? 142 00:05:10,297 --> 00:05:12,299 Ah, apparently you can. 143 00:05:12,299 --> 00:05:13,967 Hello... 144 00:05:13,967 --> 00:05:15,902 The truth is I was thinking about going 145 00:05:15,902 --> 00:05:17,838 to that alternate reality group tonight 146 00:05:17,838 --> 00:05:19,506 but... I feel weird going alone. 147 00:05:19,506 --> 00:05:21,174 Oh, well, Roxie and I'll go with you. 148 00:05:21,174 --> 00:05:23,643 -Really? -Yeah. You know, we can go to the movies anytime 149 00:05:23,643 --> 00:05:24,478 but how many times do you get 150 00:05:24,478 --> 00:05:26,246 to seek out universal truth? 151 00:05:26,246 --> 00:05:28,148 How are you going to get Roxie to come along? 152 00:05:28,148 --> 00:05:31,585 I'm going to lie. 153 00:05:31,585 --> 00:05:32,919 Mmm... 154 00:05:32,919 --> 00:05:35,222 All you have to do is talk for me 155 00:05:35,222 --> 00:05:37,424 and you get the chow mein, mmm? 156 00:05:37,424 --> 00:05:38,592 Mmm... 157 00:05:38,592 --> 00:05:39,593 Pork. 158 00:05:39,593 --> 00:05:41,094 ( whimpering ): Oh... 159 00:05:41,094 --> 00:05:42,963 the other white meat. 160 00:05:42,963 --> 00:05:43,964 Fine! 161 00:05:43,964 --> 00:05:45,232 I'm talking, see?! 162 00:05:45,232 --> 00:05:47,000 Now give me my chow mein. 163 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,802 I knew I wasn't crazy. 164 00:05:48,802 --> 00:05:50,637 You are a talking cat. 165 00:05:50,637 --> 00:05:52,973 You could make me a very wealthy man. 166 00:05:52,973 --> 00:05:54,708 I could quit this stupid job 167 00:05:54,708 --> 00:05:56,543 and move back home to Tokyo. 168 00:05:56,543 --> 00:05:57,878 Hold the phone. 169 00:05:57,878 --> 00:06:01,348 Why's a Japanese guy working in a Chinese restaurant? 170 00:06:01,348 --> 00:06:03,617 Why is a cat talking? 171 00:06:03,617 --> 00:06:07,320 Oh, that's right-- to make me rich. 172 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:09,156 You're coming with me. 173 00:06:09,156 --> 00:06:13,156 Oh, I knew I should've ordered pizza. 174 00:06:14,594 --> 00:06:16,696 This isn't a movie theater. 175 00:06:16,696 --> 00:06:17,931 You lied to me. 176 00:06:17,931 --> 00:06:19,933 All in the name of truth. 177 00:06:19,933 --> 00:06:21,401 Okay... 178 00:06:21,401 --> 00:06:22,402 I see the Crab Nebula. 179 00:06:22,402 --> 00:06:23,703 I'm starting to feel at home. 180 00:06:23,703 --> 00:06:24,838 And I'm ready to go home. 181 00:06:24,838 --> 00:06:27,474 It looks like they're showing a movie in there. 182 00:06:29,876 --> 00:06:31,745 Man: Human cells contain 183 00:06:31,745 --> 00:06:34,414 the very same primordial elements 184 00:06:34,414 --> 00:06:38,919 that compose all heavenly bodies throughout the universe. 185 00:06:38,919 --> 00:06:42,856 We are children of the stars. 186 00:06:42,856 --> 00:06:45,425 Yes. I've always maintained that. 187 00:06:45,425 --> 00:06:48,895 Join me, Jim Tom, on an epic journey 188 00:06:48,895 --> 00:06:52,895 to meet your mortal challenge and discover your cosmic soul. 189 00:06:54,768 --> 00:06:57,437 Or better yet, your cosmic Soul Train. 190 00:06:57,437 --> 00:06:59,339 Anyone feel like dancing? 191 00:06:59,339 --> 00:07:01,341 Miles, I am so glad you made it. 192 00:07:01,341 --> 00:07:03,276 Hey, Catherine, how's it going? 193 00:07:03,276 --> 00:07:04,644 You remember Sabrina? 194 00:07:04,644 --> 00:07:06,746 Philosophy class... girl in the front row... 195 00:07:06,746 --> 00:07:08,548 sees chairs that aren't really there. 196 00:07:08,548 --> 00:07:09,783 Doesn't ring a bell. 197 00:07:09,783 --> 00:07:10,584 And this is... 198 00:07:10,584 --> 00:07:11,718 Ida. 199 00:07:11,718 --> 00:07:13,620 Ida rather be anywhere else than here. 200 00:07:13,620 --> 00:07:15,322 What did you think of the video? 201 00:07:15,322 --> 00:07:18,892 I just caught the end, but it seemed to completely parallel my world view. 202 00:07:18,892 --> 00:07:20,627 Jim Tom is a brilliant thinker 203 00:07:20,627 --> 00:07:22,929 and we told him how insightful you are. 204 00:07:22,929 --> 00:07:24,297 He was very impressed. 205 00:07:24,297 --> 00:07:25,031 With me? 206 00:07:25,031 --> 00:07:26,032 Oh, yes. 207 00:07:26,032 --> 00:07:28,501 Come and meet some of the others. 208 00:07:28,501 --> 00:07:30,537 How perfect are they together? 209 00:07:30,537 --> 00:07:31,972 Roxie: It's like someone took Ken and Barbie 210 00:07:31,972 --> 00:07:33,773 and dunked them in the freak machine. 211 00:07:33,773 --> 00:07:35,008 What's with you, Roxie? 212 00:07:35,008 --> 00:07:36,610 I mean, maybe these people aren't exactly like us 213 00:07:36,610 --> 00:07:38,445 but that doesn't make them freaks. 214 00:07:38,445 --> 00:07:39,446 Man: Greetings. 215 00:07:39,446 --> 00:07:41,147 My Jim Tom crystal was picking up 216 00:07:41,147 --> 00:07:42,849 powerful vibrations from you. 217 00:07:42,849 --> 00:07:44,651 Permission to touch your aura? 218 00:07:44,651 --> 00:07:46,319 Uh, let's just be friends. 219 00:07:46,319 --> 00:07:47,520 I'm Sabrina and this is... 220 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:49,522 Someone who was told she was going to the movies. 221 00:07:49,522 --> 00:07:50,857 And you are? 222 00:07:50,857 --> 00:07:53,193 Name's Chuck, but names aren't important here. 223 00:07:53,193 --> 00:07:56,429 What counts is on the inside. 224 00:07:56,429 --> 00:07:58,932 Don't worry, I have pepper spray in my bag. 225 00:07:58,932 --> 00:08:01,368 So, what's the deal with this Jim Tom guy? 226 00:08:01,368 --> 00:08:02,869 Does he have an uncle in the pillow business? 227 00:08:02,869 --> 00:08:04,271 Oh, Jim Tom feels 228 00:08:04,271 --> 00:08:06,573 that the closer we are to Earth 229 00:08:06,573 --> 00:08:08,942 them more freely we can absorb its knowledge. 230 00:08:08,942 --> 00:08:10,510 Oh, so you learn through your butt? 231 00:08:10,510 --> 00:08:11,511 ( laughing ) 232 00:08:11,511 --> 00:08:14,014 Yeah, Jim Tom appreciates humor. 233 00:08:14,014 --> 00:08:16,650 He's an open, nurturing man. 234 00:08:16,650 --> 00:08:18,918 All he asks is that we-we maintain 235 00:08:18,918 --> 00:08:22,255 a respectful distance from... his forbidden zone. 236 00:08:22,255 --> 00:08:23,290 Both: Excuse me? 237 00:08:23,290 --> 00:08:24,524 That. 238 00:08:24,524 --> 00:08:25,925 It's his inner space. 239 00:08:25,925 --> 00:08:27,961 It leads to a place of mystery 240 00:08:27,961 --> 00:08:29,663 a place of magic. 241 00:08:29,663 --> 00:08:30,463 I'm ready for that movie. 242 00:08:30,463 --> 00:08:35,101 -How about you? -Absolutely. 243 00:08:35,101 --> 00:08:36,269 About time! 244 00:08:36,269 --> 00:08:37,604 Where were you? 245 00:08:37,604 --> 00:08:40,006 Leaving messages for every talent agency 246 00:08:40,006 --> 00:08:41,675 from here to Hollywood sign. 247 00:08:41,675 --> 00:08:44,778 You are going to make me filthy rich. 248 00:08:44,778 --> 00:08:46,846 You'll headline in Vegas 249 00:08:46,846 --> 00:08:49,015 and have your own TV show 250 00:08:49,015 --> 00:08:52,519 where you dispense justice with attitude! 251 00:08:52,519 --> 00:08:54,654 Your little moneymaking scheme is over. 252 00:08:54,654 --> 00:08:56,623 At any moment, my friends are going 253 00:08:56,623 --> 00:08:57,457 to crash through that curtain 254 00:08:57,457 --> 00:08:58,658 to rescue me. 255 00:08:58,658 --> 00:09:01,895 Just watch. 256 00:09:01,895 --> 00:09:05,598 I took a shot. 257 00:09:05,598 --> 00:09:06,599 Hey, Rox. 258 00:09:06,599 --> 00:09:07,667 Hey, Miles wasn't 259 00:09:07,667 --> 00:09:08,935 in Philosophy today. 260 00:09:08,935 --> 00:09:10,103 Have you seen him? 261 00:09:10,103 --> 00:09:11,638 He came in after you left for class 262 00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:13,940 changed clothes and headed back to Jim Tom's house. 263 00:09:13,940 --> 00:09:15,742 He's been there three days in a row. 264 00:09:15,742 --> 00:09:17,944 That's what usually happens when you join a cult. 265 00:09:17,944 --> 00:09:19,245 Roxie, it's not a cult. 266 00:09:19,245 --> 00:09:21,114 It's just a... group of lost souls 267 00:09:21,114 --> 00:09:22,382 who worship one guy and don't question 268 00:09:22,382 --> 00:09:24,684 anything he says. 269 00:09:24,684 --> 00:09:28,421 Maybe I should go check on Miles. 270 00:09:28,421 --> 00:09:30,290 Jim Tom changed my life. 271 00:09:30,290 --> 00:09:32,325 Before him ( door closing ) 272 00:09:32,325 --> 00:09:35,295 my life was about material things-- 273 00:09:35,295 --> 00:09:37,597 my helicopter, my winery-- 274 00:09:37,597 --> 00:09:39,599 but I traded all that 275 00:09:39,599 --> 00:09:43,599 for Jim Tom's gift of enlightenment. 276 00:09:48,041 --> 00:09:52,041 ( chuckling ) 277 00:09:53,580 --> 00:09:54,781 Oh, Lordy. 278 00:09:54,781 --> 00:09:55,749 Oh, brother. 279 00:09:55,749 --> 00:09:57,283 Miles, step away from the little man 280 00:09:57,283 --> 00:09:58,284 and come with me. 281 00:09:58,284 --> 00:09:59,953 Hey, Sabrina, what are you doing here? 282 00:09:59,953 --> 00:10:02,155 I'm a little worried. I haven't seen you in a few days. 283 00:10:02,155 --> 00:10:03,223 I'm doing great. 284 00:10:03,223 --> 00:10:05,592 I'm meeting wonderful, intelligent people 285 00:10:05,592 --> 00:10:07,827 and I'm learning so much from Jim Tom. 286 00:10:07,827 --> 00:10:09,763 He has incredible powers. 287 00:10:09,763 --> 00:10:11,064 Well, so did Spiderman 288 00:10:11,064 --> 00:10:13,400 but he didn't ask people to give up their helicopters. 289 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:14,501 No, real stuff. 290 00:10:14,501 --> 00:10:16,436 He has the psychic ability 291 00:10:16,436 --> 00:10:19,205 to communicate with plants and insects 292 00:10:19,205 --> 00:10:20,507 and also-- 293 00:10:20,507 --> 00:10:22,742 usually you have to be a full-fledged traveler 294 00:10:22,742 --> 00:10:25,879 before you hear this-- he's a witch. 295 00:10:25,879 --> 00:10:26,913 A what? 296 00:10:26,913 --> 00:10:28,081 Tom: A witch. 297 00:10:28,081 --> 00:10:29,616 I don't believe we've met. 298 00:10:29,616 --> 00:10:30,984 This is Sabrina. 299 00:10:30,984 --> 00:10:32,786 Sabrina, I'm Jim Tom. 300 00:10:32,786 --> 00:10:36,122 Glad to have you aboard on this special journey. 301 00:10:40,593 --> 00:10:43,654 Welcome, traveler. 302 00:10:53,171 --> 00:10:55,440 Miles, do you really believe that Jim Tom is a witch? 303 00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:58,943 I know it sounds weird, but I've seen the man do amazing things-- 304 00:10:58,943 --> 00:11:01,212 appear out of thin air, make stuff vanish. 305 00:11:01,212 --> 00:11:02,547 But witches aren't supposed to go around 306 00:11:02,547 --> 00:11:04,248 announcing they're witches. 307 00:11:04,248 --> 00:11:06,150 And you would know that... how? 308 00:11:06,150 --> 00:11:08,119 Well... if I was a witch 309 00:11:08,119 --> 00:11:09,954 you know, I-I... I would... 310 00:11:09,954 --> 00:11:12,890 I wouldn't be blabbing it all over town. 311 00:11:13,658 --> 00:11:16,728 Look at that. Don't you wish you could levitate? 312 00:11:16,728 --> 00:11:18,096 Interesting technique. 313 00:11:18,096 --> 00:11:19,564 Got to go. 314 00:11:24,168 --> 00:11:28,168 Then the hooker says, "Pi to the sixth quadrant." 315 00:11:28,539 --> 00:11:29,807 ( cheering ) 316 00:11:29,807 --> 00:11:31,509 Hi, Aunt Zelda. 317 00:11:31,509 --> 00:11:32,844 Oh. Sabrina. 318 00:11:32,844 --> 00:11:35,413 Who would have guessed that geniuses knew the wave? 319 00:11:35,413 --> 00:11:37,649 Oh, we eggheads love to let it all hang out. 320 00:11:37,649 --> 00:11:39,917 I wish you could have been at Isaac Newton's last night. 321 00:11:39,917 --> 00:11:42,553 The things that man can do with an apple. 322 00:11:42,553 --> 00:11:45,023 Anyway, Aunt Zelda, I just came by to ask you a question. 323 00:11:45,023 --> 00:11:46,924 Have you ever heard of a guy named Jim Tom? 324 00:11:46,924 --> 00:11:48,159 No. Who is he? 325 00:11:48,159 --> 00:11:50,428 He's the leader of a cult that Miles just joined. 326 00:11:50,428 --> 00:11:51,829 Why did Miles join a cult? 327 00:11:51,829 --> 00:11:52,964 I told him to. 328 00:11:52,964 --> 00:11:54,832 But that's beside the point. 329 00:11:54,832 --> 00:11:57,435 Anyway, Jim Tom is claiming he's a witch. 330 00:11:57,435 --> 00:11:59,370 Ooh, I'd hate to think one of our own 331 00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:01,172 is using his powers for evil. 332 00:12:01,172 --> 00:12:03,074 ( cheering ) 333 00:12:03,074 --> 00:12:05,710 Well, is there any way for me to tell if he's really a witch? 334 00:12:05,710 --> 00:12:07,745 Well, you'll have to perform the knuckle test. 335 00:12:07,745 --> 00:12:09,514 Oh, of course, the knuckle test. 336 00:12:09,514 --> 00:12:11,049 What's the knuckle test? 337 00:12:11,049 --> 00:12:13,951 You steal a hair from his left pinkie knuckle. 338 00:12:13,951 --> 00:12:16,220 If the hair curls, he's not a witch. 339 00:12:16,220 --> 00:12:17,789 Is there any other way? 340 00:12:17,789 --> 00:12:19,590 Be thankful-- when I was a girl 341 00:12:19,590 --> 00:12:21,592 you had to go in through the nose. 342 00:12:21,592 --> 00:12:22,727 Ew! 343 00:12:22,727 --> 00:12:23,928 ( cheering ) 344 00:12:26,097 --> 00:12:27,999 Oh, so this is the inner space. 345 00:12:27,999 --> 00:12:30,535 I guess the cult business pays pretty well. 346 00:12:30,535 --> 00:12:33,771 I'll join you right after I cleanse my soul. 347 00:12:33,771 --> 00:12:35,907 Time to be a fly on the wall. 348 00:12:35,907 --> 00:12:39,907 ( buzzing ) 349 00:12:42,814 --> 00:12:44,315 Must have garbage. 350 00:12:44,315 --> 00:12:47,418 No. Got to focus. 351 00:12:47,418 --> 00:12:51,422 ( phone ringing ) 352 00:12:51,422 --> 00:12:53,958 Yello. Jim Tom. 353 00:12:53,958 --> 00:12:55,927 Hey, Harry. 354 00:12:55,927 --> 00:12:58,262 Yeah, it's been a very fruitful week. 355 00:12:58,262 --> 00:13:00,064 Uh-huh. 356 00:13:00,064 --> 00:13:02,500 I have seen my early retirement package 357 00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:04,635 and his name is Miles Goodman. 358 00:13:04,635 --> 00:13:06,104 Okay, well, we know he's a crook. 359 00:13:06,104 --> 00:13:07,672 Now let's find out if he's a witch. 360 00:13:07,672 --> 00:13:09,540 Hey, how about you and I taking a cruise 361 00:13:09,540 --> 00:13:11,509 down to the Bahamas for a little R and R? 362 00:13:11,509 --> 00:13:12,844 Ow! 363 00:13:12,844 --> 00:13:15,246 ( buzzing ) 364 00:13:15,246 --> 00:13:18,549 It's official-- he's not a witch. 365 00:13:18,549 --> 00:13:21,652 And he's got eczema. 366 00:13:21,652 --> 00:13:22,854 Uh-oh. 367 00:13:22,854 --> 00:13:25,089 Got to fly. 368 00:13:25,089 --> 00:13:26,858 Darn! 369 00:13:28,860 --> 00:13:32,860 Huh. Close call. 370 00:13:33,464 --> 00:13:38,236 Whoo! That would have been a nightmare to shave. 371 00:13:38,236 --> 00:13:39,504 Oh, hi, Chuck. 372 00:13:39,504 --> 00:13:41,973 Sorry to rain on your psychic parade 373 00:13:41,973 --> 00:13:43,207 but have you seen Miles? 374 00:13:43,207 --> 00:13:45,777 He went home to get something for Jim Tom. 375 00:13:45,777 --> 00:13:47,812 Well, what are you people eating? 376 00:13:47,812 --> 00:13:49,347 Mung beans and rice. 377 00:13:49,347 --> 00:13:50,448 Woman: Jim Tom said 378 00:13:50,448 --> 00:13:51,883 that pure living starts 379 00:13:51,883 --> 00:13:53,684 with a strict vegetarian diet. 380 00:13:53,684 --> 00:13:56,687 So he's a witch and a nutritionist? 381 00:13:57,688 --> 00:13:58,990 All: Greetings, traveler! 382 00:13:58,990 --> 00:14:02,894 Oh, greetings... fellow travelers. 383 00:14:02,894 --> 00:14:04,295 Sabrina, you're back. 384 00:14:04,295 --> 00:14:07,198 Yeah. Who could miss "mung beans and rice" night? 385 00:14:07,198 --> 00:14:08,733 What are you doing with your telescope? 386 00:14:08,733 --> 00:14:10,368 Sabrina, it's not my telescope 387 00:14:10,368 --> 00:14:12,069 any more than this is my planet 388 00:14:12,069 --> 00:14:13,838 or these are my hands. 389 00:14:13,838 --> 00:14:17,108 Jim Tom tells us possession should not take over our lives. 390 00:14:17,108 --> 00:14:21,108 The Jim Tom Teachings. Chapter seven, verse 12-- travelers? 391 00:14:21,646 --> 00:14:24,148 All: "You've got enough; give up your stuff." 392 00:14:24,148 --> 00:14:26,284 That's it? Those are his pearls of wisdom? 393 00:14:26,284 --> 00:14:27,952 Look, Miles, everyone... 394 00:14:27,952 --> 00:14:29,887 Okay, I've got something to tell you 395 00:14:29,887 --> 00:14:31,589 and I'll try to be delicate. 396 00:14:31,589 --> 00:14:33,658 Jim Tom is a big fat liar. 397 00:14:33,658 --> 00:14:35,193 He's a fake, a phony, a con 398 00:14:35,193 --> 00:14:37,929 a cheater, a chiseler, a bamboozler, a swindler... 399 00:14:37,929 --> 00:14:40,631 -He's bunco, bogus... -Sabrina, stop. 400 00:14:40,631 --> 00:14:43,601 Jim Tom already warned us our friends would say that about him. 401 00:14:43,601 --> 00:14:45,469 Because it's true-- I overheard him talking 402 00:14:45,469 --> 00:14:46,704 in his stupid inner space. 403 00:14:46,704 --> 00:14:48,539 Easy there-- we don't go around 404 00:14:48,539 --> 00:14:52,176 insulting your forbidden zone. 405 00:14:52,176 --> 00:14:54,445 Jim Tom is planning to take all your money. 406 00:14:54,445 --> 00:14:55,780 That's ridiculous. 407 00:14:55,780 --> 00:14:58,549 All Jim Tom is trying to do is give us a better life 408 00:14:58,549 --> 00:15:00,384 and lead us to true happiness. 409 00:15:00,384 --> 00:15:01,619 But you were happy before. 410 00:15:01,619 --> 00:15:03,855 Remember? You were so excited to just look at the moon. 411 00:15:03,855 --> 00:15:06,490 And then you told me to get involved on this planet 412 00:15:06,490 --> 00:15:08,059 and now, for the first time in my life 413 00:15:08,059 --> 00:15:10,328 I feel connected with myself, with other people 414 00:15:10,328 --> 00:15:11,529 and with the universe. 415 00:15:11,529 --> 00:15:13,865 Sabrina, thanks to you, I feel whole. 416 00:15:13,865 --> 00:15:17,368 Yeah? Well... get over it. 417 00:15:18,903 --> 00:15:20,238 ( knocking on door ) 418 00:15:20,238 --> 00:15:21,672 Who is it? 419 00:15:21,672 --> 00:15:25,243 Delivery. Canton Gardens. 420 00:15:28,479 --> 00:15:30,715 Hmm, food in one hand; cat in the other. 421 00:15:30,715 --> 00:15:31,916 You give me a discount 422 00:15:31,916 --> 00:15:34,151 or I report you to the health department. 423 00:15:34,151 --> 00:15:36,220 This isn't just any cat. 424 00:15:36,220 --> 00:15:37,421 It's a talking cat. 425 00:15:37,421 --> 00:15:38,856 He's going to make me rich. 426 00:15:38,856 --> 00:15:41,092 Tell him, cat. 427 00:15:41,092 --> 00:15:43,895 I'll get my wallet. 428 00:15:47,999 --> 00:15:49,967 You really irritate me. 429 00:15:49,967 --> 00:15:51,769 You embarrass me, Simon. 430 00:15:51,769 --> 00:15:53,437 The name's Salem, you idiot. 431 00:15:53,437 --> 00:15:55,306 If you're going to hold me hostage 432 00:15:55,306 --> 00:15:57,141 you could at least show me some respect 433 00:15:57,141 --> 00:15:59,277 and call me by my real... meow. 434 00:15:59,277 --> 00:16:02,346 Meow. Aw, geez. 435 00:16:02,346 --> 00:16:04,081 This is a miracle. 436 00:16:04,081 --> 00:16:06,384 A divine sign from a higher power. 437 00:16:06,384 --> 00:16:07,685 I must own it. 438 00:16:07,685 --> 00:16:10,221 I'm not for sale. Make an offer. 439 00:16:10,221 --> 00:16:13,858 $10,000, and that includes the takeout. 440 00:16:13,858 --> 00:16:15,459 Sold. 441 00:16:15,459 --> 00:16:16,727 ( gasps ) 442 00:16:16,727 --> 00:16:18,663 Okay, Chuck, let's go with your argument. 443 00:16:18,663 --> 00:16:20,898 Let's say that anyone who levitates is a witch. 444 00:16:20,898 --> 00:16:22,366 Well, magicians levitate 445 00:16:22,366 --> 00:16:24,702 and David Copperfield is a magician, ergo... 446 00:16:24,702 --> 00:16:26,203 David Copperfield is a witch! 447 00:16:26,203 --> 00:16:28,906 No! No, no, no. 448 00:16:28,906 --> 00:16:30,574 Okay, let's start again. 449 00:16:30,574 --> 00:16:32,777 Okay, if a person pulls a rabbit out of a hat 450 00:16:32,777 --> 00:16:34,178 we call this person a...? 451 00:16:34,178 --> 00:16:36,147 -A witch! -No! 452 00:16:36,147 --> 00:16:39,717 Sabrina, I think it would be a good idea if you left now. 453 00:16:39,717 --> 00:16:41,218 ( sighs ) 454 00:16:41,218 --> 00:16:43,387 ( explosion ) 455 00:16:43,387 --> 00:16:47,258 Fellow travelers, I have a special treat for you. 456 00:16:47,258 --> 00:16:49,093 Tonight I have proof 457 00:16:49,093 --> 00:16:51,028 the mortal challenge has been met. 458 00:16:51,028 --> 00:16:54,165 I present to you a genuine cosmic soul 459 00:16:54,165 --> 00:16:56,767 an ancient, gifted prophet who has chosen to visit us 460 00:16:56,767 --> 00:16:58,970 in a unique form. 461 00:16:58,970 --> 00:17:00,538 ( travelers gasping ) 462 00:17:00,538 --> 00:17:01,339 Salem? 463 00:17:01,339 --> 00:17:03,240 Stealthy messenger from beyond 464 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,242 revered by witches and pharaohs 465 00:17:05,242 --> 00:17:08,412 please... share with us your wisdom. 466 00:17:08,412 --> 00:17:10,915 Birds fly, dogs walk, but this cat no longer talks. 467 00:17:10,915 --> 00:17:14,915 Anytime you're ready, cosmic soul. 468 00:17:18,322 --> 00:17:22,026 Anytime now. 469 00:17:22,026 --> 00:17:25,396 Talk amongst yourselves. 470 00:17:25,396 --> 00:17:28,165 I think this little charade proves my point. 471 00:17:28,165 --> 00:17:30,634 Of course the cat's not going to speak. 472 00:17:30,634 --> 00:17:32,737 He's picking up on your negative energy. 473 00:17:32,737 --> 00:17:35,840 A prophet can't reveal himself to a nonbeliever. 474 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:40,077 Okay, I didn't want to have to resort to this. Look. 475 00:17:40,077 --> 00:17:41,912 Jim Tom: You backstabbing little vermin eater. 476 00:17:41,912 --> 00:17:44,081 I shelled out ten grand for you. 477 00:17:44,081 --> 00:17:47,084 If I tell you to talk, you had better talk. 478 00:17:47,084 --> 00:17:49,387 Those idiots aren't going to keep falling 479 00:17:49,387 --> 00:17:50,988 for that levitation trick. 480 00:17:50,988 --> 00:17:52,189 Idiots? 481 00:17:52,189 --> 00:17:54,392 He can't be talking about us. 482 00:17:54,392 --> 00:17:56,227 Sure, I can string Chuck along. 483 00:17:56,227 --> 00:17:57,995 He's got oatmeal for brains. 484 00:17:57,995 --> 00:17:59,263 I've got to find a new angle 485 00:17:59,263 --> 00:18:02,867 to keep the rest of those losers sucked in. 486 00:18:02,867 --> 00:18:06,203 Sabrina was right-- Jim Tom is a hoax. 487 00:18:06,203 --> 00:18:09,373 Look, his inner space, it's not a spiritual haven-- 488 00:18:09,373 --> 00:18:10,875 it's a bachelor pad. 489 00:18:10,875 --> 00:18:12,843 That's my mobile wet bar. 490 00:18:12,843 --> 00:18:14,712 That's my faux tiger skin. 491 00:18:14,712 --> 00:18:16,414 That's my couch! 492 00:18:16,414 --> 00:18:19,350 He said he was going to donate it to an orphanage. 493 00:18:19,350 --> 00:18:22,053 Which one, Our Lady Of Saint Hefner? 494 00:18:22,053 --> 00:18:24,722 Jim Tom also said we had to become vegetarians. 495 00:18:24,722 --> 00:18:27,491 So why is he eating Mongolian Beef? 496 00:18:27,491 --> 00:18:28,926 Brother! We've been had! 497 00:18:28,926 --> 00:18:31,695 This stinks! 498 00:18:31,695 --> 00:18:33,330 Are you okay? 499 00:18:33,330 --> 00:18:37,330 I can't believe I got conned like this. 500 00:18:39,070 --> 00:18:43,374 ( powerful wind whistling ) 501 00:18:43,374 --> 00:18:45,643 How did you get in here? 502 00:18:45,643 --> 00:18:49,613 Well, if you were a witch, you'd know. 503 00:18:49,613 --> 00:18:52,516 And next time you're going to impersonate one, please 504 00:18:52,516 --> 00:18:53,918 do something original. 505 00:18:53,918 --> 00:18:57,918 ( roaring ) 506 00:19:00,224 --> 00:19:01,559 Everybody's on to you. 507 00:19:01,559 --> 00:19:03,561 All your cosmic travelers have left 508 00:19:03,561 --> 00:19:06,497 because they know what kind of person you really are-- 509 00:19:06,497 --> 00:19:08,265 a charlatan and a thief. 510 00:19:08,265 --> 00:19:10,601 You know, you and I could make a lot of money together. 511 00:19:10,601 --> 00:19:12,036 Maybe I didn't make myself clear. 512 00:19:12,036 --> 00:19:13,838 You're out of the cult business, Jim Tom. 513 00:19:13,838 --> 00:19:15,639 But I have no other skills. 514 00:19:15,639 --> 00:19:17,908 ( thunder crashing ) 515 00:19:17,908 --> 00:19:20,277 I'll get some. 516 00:19:24,949 --> 00:19:28,319 Tail of rat, wing of bat, allow this cat to chit and chat. 517 00:19:28,319 --> 00:19:32,123 Oh! Sabrina, you saved my life! 518 00:19:32,123 --> 00:19:33,757 Jim Tom said he was going to do 519 00:19:33,757 --> 00:19:35,860 unspeakable things to me if I didn't talk. 520 00:19:35,860 --> 00:19:38,762 ( sobbing ): He... he... 521 00:19:38,762 --> 00:19:42,762 ( stops sobbing ): He took the Mongolian beef! 522 00:19:43,601 --> 00:19:45,436 Hey. 523 00:19:45,436 --> 00:19:46,904 Hey, Miles. 524 00:19:46,904 --> 00:19:48,806 Oh, you got back my telescope. 525 00:19:48,806 --> 00:19:51,175 -Thanks, Sabrina. -No problem. 526 00:19:51,175 --> 00:19:53,444 I'm sorry I pushed you to get involved with Jim Tom. 527 00:19:53,444 --> 00:19:55,179 You didn't force me to join that group. 528 00:19:55,179 --> 00:19:56,647 And it wasn't all bad. 529 00:19:56,647 --> 00:19:59,350 I might have temporarily lost my mind, but... 530 00:19:59,350 --> 00:20:00,918 I gained a few friends. 531 00:20:00,918 --> 00:20:01,719 Really? 532 00:20:01,719 --> 00:20:03,420 Yeah. After we left Jim Tom's 533 00:20:03,420 --> 00:20:06,423 all the ex-travelers went out for chicken and waffles. 534 00:20:06,423 --> 00:20:08,559 Well, at least it's better than mung beans. 535 00:20:08,559 --> 00:20:11,428 Sabrina, I've got to tell you, the way you went in there 536 00:20:11,428 --> 00:20:15,533 and put yourself on the line for me was... incredible. 537 00:20:15,533 --> 00:20:16,834 You're a really good friend. 538 00:20:16,834 --> 00:20:18,302 Thanks, Miles. 539 00:20:18,302 --> 00:20:20,938 And if you ever get involved with people 540 00:20:20,938 --> 00:20:23,207 who claim to be from another realm 541 00:20:23,207 --> 00:20:25,609 I'll be the first to bust the thing wide open. 542 00:20:25,609 --> 00:20:29,609 Hopefully, you won't have to go in through the nose. 543 00:20:30,814 --> 00:20:32,216 Private joke. 544 00:20:38,756 --> 00:20:39,957 Zelda: I'm back. 545 00:20:39,957 --> 00:20:43,727 Oh! Sabrina please don't tell Zelda what happened. 546 00:20:43,727 --> 00:20:45,529 She'll never let me stay alone again. 547 00:20:45,529 --> 00:20:47,765 Exactly, she'll make you stay with me-- my lips are sealed. 548 00:20:47,765 --> 00:20:49,033 Hey. 549 00:20:49,033 --> 00:20:50,968 Hey. So how was the rest of genius camp? 550 00:20:50,968 --> 00:20:53,504 Well... Da Vinci was a dream 551 00:20:53,504 --> 00:20:54,872 Kierkegaard was a lech 552 00:20:54,872 --> 00:20:58,175 and Einstein short-sheeted my bed. 553 00:20:58,175 --> 00:21:00,010 How was your weekend, Salem? 554 00:21:00,010 --> 00:21:02,613 Very quiet, nothing out of the ordinary. 555 00:21:02,613 --> 00:21:04,148 -Right, Sabrina? -Right. 556 00:21:04,148 --> 00:21:06,350 ( doorbell rings ) Pizza guy. I'll get the money. 557 00:21:06,350 --> 00:21:08,018 Oh. I'll get the door. 558 00:21:13,023 --> 00:21:14,592 That'll be $18.50. 559 00:21:14,592 --> 00:21:17,361 Just put it right over there. 560 00:21:19,530 --> 00:21:20,364 ( growls ) 561 00:21:20,364 --> 00:21:22,166 You! 562 00:21:22,166 --> 00:21:22,866 You! 563 00:21:22,866 --> 00:21:24,935 You! 564 00:21:24,935 --> 00:21:25,769 No charge. 565 00:21:25,819 --> 00:21:30,369 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 39673

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