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1
00:00:02,479 --> 00:00:05,279
Hey, look at all the stuff
from the Other Realm.
2
00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:07,956
Hey, I got a letter
from my pen pal Martha.
3
00:00:08,121 --> 00:00:10,477
This is for you from
the Witches' Council accounting office.
4
00:00:10,641 --> 00:00:12,122
And our Christmas presents
from Mom.
5
00:00:12,282 --> 00:00:15,242
- But Christmas was four months ago.
- Yeah, she's early this year.
6
00:00:15,403 --> 00:00:17,872
This is wonderful.
They made a clerical error.
7
00:00:18,043 --> 00:00:21,435
I thought I had six lives left,
but it turns out I have nine.
8
00:00:21,604 --> 00:00:22,834
That seems fair.
9
00:00:23,005 --> 00:00:24,837
You have nine,
Mother Teresa got the one.
10
00:00:25,005 --> 00:00:27,043
This means I can start living
more dangerously.
11
00:00:27,206 --> 00:00:28,925
Hello, X Games.
12
00:00:29,086 --> 00:00:30,077
What did you get?
13
00:00:30,247 --> 00:00:33,844
A locket
with a tiny nuclear reactor inside.
14
00:00:34,008 --> 00:00:34,998
What did you get?
15
00:00:35,168 --> 00:00:37,161
A gift certificate
for ball bearings.
16
00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:38,365
Really?
17
00:00:38,529 --> 00:00:40,043
Yeah,
but it's actually quite personal.
18
00:00:40,210 --> 00:00:42,566
She filled it in herself
in her lovely chicken scratch.
19
00:00:42,730 --> 00:00:44,563
Martha wants me to visit.
Would that be okay?
20
00:00:44,731 --> 00:00:46,165
No.
21
00:00:46,331 --> 00:00:48,608
I don't want to be the only
miserable person in the room.
22
00:00:48,772 --> 00:00:50,286
Of course you can.
23
00:00:50,452 --> 00:00:54,892
Hooray, the toast is stuck.
Danger, here I come.
24
00:00:55,734 --> 00:00:57,293
Careful.
You might touch a coil--
25
00:00:57,454 --> 00:00:58,969
[ELECTRICAL BUZZING]
26
00:00:59,175 --> 00:01:00,211
Are you all right?
27
00:01:00,375 --> 00:01:01,889
Fine.
28
00:01:02,656 --> 00:01:03,772
For an appliance.
29
00:01:03,936 --> 00:01:06,771
Great. You burnt my toast.
30
00:01:25,102 --> 00:01:28,380
I find this the only acceptable form
of dribbling.
31
00:01:34,464 --> 00:01:35,979
What happened
to Mr. Kraft's office?
32
00:01:36,145 --> 00:01:39,378
Some kids filled his desk up
with manure again.
33
00:01:43,987 --> 00:01:46,105
- Happy anniversary.
- What?
34
00:01:46,268 --> 00:01:47,497
Well, it was
two years ago today
35
00:01:47,668 --> 00:01:49,387
that I saw you across
a crowded hallway
36
00:01:49,548 --> 00:01:51,381
and felt a twinge
in my heart.
37
00:01:51,549 --> 00:01:54,019
And then you hit me
on the head with a football.
38
00:01:54,190 --> 00:01:56,261
I wasn't as smooth
when I was a freshman.
39
00:01:56,990 --> 00:01:58,710
- Is this a--?
- Yup.
40
00:01:58,871 --> 00:02:00,624
It's a genuine diamond chip.
41
00:02:01,392 --> 00:02:03,952
- Pretty smooth, huh?
- I'll keep it forever.
42
00:02:06,633 --> 00:02:10,548
Spellman, Kinkle,
into the cafeteria for fingerprinting.
43
00:02:11,074 --> 00:02:12,668
Are you sure you know
how to fingerprint?
44
00:02:12,835 --> 00:02:14,394
Yeah, should ink burn?
45
00:02:14,555 --> 00:02:18,630
Just last night
I completed a private detective course
46
00:02:18,796 --> 00:02:23,190
as evidenced
by this emerald graduation tie clip.
47
00:02:23,358 --> 00:02:26,989
- "Dick."
- That's right, mister.
48
00:02:27,159 --> 00:02:28,559
And I'm using
my newfound techniques
49
00:02:28,719 --> 00:02:31,792
to get to the bottom of this school's
vandalism problem.
50
00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:36,911
From now on,
nothing gets by Willard Kraft, PI.
51
00:02:41,443 --> 00:02:45,484
Wow, Martha, what a beautiful
library you've got here.
52
00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:48,081
- Martha?
MARTHA: Oh, um...
53
00:02:48,245 --> 00:02:50,202
Well, actually
the library belongs
54
00:02:50,365 --> 00:02:53,040
to the Association
of Other Realm Book Borrowers.
55
00:02:53,206 --> 00:02:56,723
I'm-- Heh. I'm just merely
one of the minions.
56
00:02:56,887 --> 00:02:58,606
Boy, brag, brag, brag.
57
00:02:58,767 --> 00:02:59,997
[SOUNDLESS LAUGH]
58
00:03:00,168 --> 00:03:02,478
You know, you are so funny.
59
00:03:02,648 --> 00:03:03,799
When I read your letters
60
00:03:03,969 --> 00:03:07,486
sometimes I laugh so hard,
I make a sound.
61
00:03:07,650 --> 00:03:10,246
Well, then you're gonna love
my syndicated column.
62
00:03:11,571 --> 00:03:13,085
You've gotta come visit me.
63
00:03:13,251 --> 00:03:15,164
You've gotta meet
my friends and family
64
00:03:15,332 --> 00:03:17,529
and teach them a thing or two
about appreciating my jokes.
65
00:03:17,693 --> 00:03:20,003
Oh, I-- I'm not allowed
in the mortal realm.
66
00:03:20,173 --> 00:03:23,133
I'm a magic-free witch.
I was too timid to use my powers
67
00:03:23,294 --> 00:03:25,412
and so the Witches' Council
took them away.
68
00:03:25,575 --> 00:03:27,567
Oh,
the old use-them-or-lose-them law?
69
00:03:27,735 --> 00:03:29,170
Yeah, if I tried to go back with you,
70
00:03:29,336 --> 00:03:31,055
then they would just stop us
at the border.
71
00:03:31,216 --> 00:03:33,732
You know, you could turn me
into something small
72
00:03:33,897 --> 00:03:35,217
and then smuggle me back.
73
00:03:35,377 --> 00:03:37,210
I mean, they never check
carryons.
74
00:03:37,378 --> 00:03:39,290
Well, but that would
be too much trouble.
75
00:03:39,459 --> 00:03:40,779
No. No trouble at all.
76
00:03:40,939 --> 00:03:44,092
Would you rather be
a duty-free bottle of scotch or a pet?
77
00:03:44,260 --> 00:03:46,297
Oh, could I be a cat?
78
00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:48,214
Hey, you're the one
riding in the bag.
79
00:03:50,582 --> 00:03:51,572
Hilda, look.
80
00:03:51,742 --> 00:03:54,099
With the added power
of Mother's nuclear necklace,
81
00:03:54,263 --> 00:03:57,097
I'll finally be able to save time
in a bottle.
82
00:03:57,263 --> 00:03:59,142
Oh, that's great.
I found a use for my gift too.
83
00:03:59,624 --> 00:04:00,740
Coaster.
84
00:04:01,425 --> 00:04:04,224
Okay, Sabrina, light my fire.
85
00:04:04,385 --> 00:04:06,218
Salem, I'm not gonna launch you.
86
00:04:06,386 --> 00:04:07,979
The neighbours think
we're weird already.
87
00:04:08,146 --> 00:04:10,981
How am I gonna use up some lives
if you people continue to be hung up
88
00:04:11,147 --> 00:04:13,663
on this thou-shalt-not-kill kick?
89
00:04:14,748 --> 00:04:17,105
Say hi to my pen pal, Martha.
90
00:04:17,269 --> 00:04:19,226
Oh, sharing your secrets
with a cat?
91
00:04:19,389 --> 00:04:20,949
What a change of pace for you.
92
00:04:21,230 --> 00:04:22,266
[BUZZING]
93
00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:23,421
Hey.
94
00:04:23,591 --> 00:04:26,390
Your finger's suffering a little jet lag.
It'll be fine in a few hours.
95
00:04:26,551 --> 00:04:29,989
Now, if you don't mind,
expose me to a virus.
96
00:04:30,152 --> 00:04:31,985
Sorry, Martha.
We'll try again in the morning.
97
00:04:32,153 --> 00:04:34,270
I'm not coughing up blood.
98
00:04:36,394 --> 00:04:38,466
Aw. You look so comfortable there.
99
00:04:38,635 --> 00:04:41,275
And you didn't attack my feet at all
during the night.
100
00:04:44,556 --> 00:04:47,072
Wow, talk about
your good night's sleep.
101
00:04:47,237 --> 00:04:48,637
Oh.
102
00:04:49,238 --> 00:04:50,877
Oh, my. I--
103
00:04:51,038 --> 00:04:54,032
Oh. Well, it-- It must be all that--
That nervous grooming that I did.
104
00:04:54,199 --> 00:04:57,238
That black cat kept trying to goad me
into a knife fight.
105
00:04:57,400 --> 00:05:00,951
Well, what do you say I get dressed
and we go see a mortal high school?
106
00:05:01,481 --> 00:05:04,316
Oh, you-- You didn't tell me there
were gonna be other people here.
107
00:05:04,482 --> 00:05:08,033
Oh, well, I thought the term
"public high school" implied that.
108
00:05:08,203 --> 00:05:10,399
Oh, Harvey,
meet Martha, my pen pal.
109
00:05:10,563 --> 00:05:13,477
Nice to meet you, Martha.
Where are you from?
110
00:05:13,644 --> 00:05:14,635
The Other Realm.
111
00:05:14,805 --> 00:05:16,876
Drive. The Other Realm Drive.
It's in Virginia.
112
00:05:17,725 --> 00:05:18,921
Did you show her the necklace?
113
00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:20,918
Oh, right. Martha,
look what Harvey gave me.
114
00:05:21,086 --> 00:05:23,727
- Where is it?
- It's right--
115
00:05:24,567 --> 00:05:25,922
Freeze.
116
00:05:26,288 --> 00:05:28,041
I'll be right back.
117
00:05:29,289 --> 00:05:30,279
[SIGHS]
118
00:05:30,449 --> 00:05:33,682
I can't find that necklace anywhere.
What am I gonna tell Harvey?
119
00:05:35,650 --> 00:05:37,324
It's at home.
120
00:05:37,491 --> 00:05:39,130
Oh, Spellman, let me guess,
121
00:05:39,291 --> 00:05:41,443
your friend doesn't have
a visitor's pass.
122
00:05:41,612 --> 00:05:43,365
No, but before society
breaks down completely,
123
00:05:43,532 --> 00:05:45,013
I can go get one. Come on, Martha.
124
00:05:45,173 --> 00:05:47,324
Oh, no. I-- I'm just feeling
a little bit overwhelmed.
125
00:05:47,494 --> 00:05:51,887
I'm going to huddle by
the water fountain, if you don't mind.
126
00:05:52,775 --> 00:05:54,767
Virginians don't get out much,
do they?
127
00:05:55,296 --> 00:05:56,286
Go on to class.
128
00:05:56,456 --> 00:05:58,368
- I will escort your guest to the office.
- But--
129
00:05:58,537 --> 00:05:59,527
[SNIFFING]
130
00:05:59,697 --> 00:06:03,658
Smell that?
It's the odour of detention.
131
00:06:07,299 --> 00:06:09,610
Are we nearsighted, miss?
132
00:06:10,940 --> 00:06:13,410
- Oh, my, my.
- Hmm.
133
00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:17,258
Is that an emerald tie clip or--?
134
00:06:17,422 --> 00:06:20,301
Or am I just fixating
on your eyes?
135
00:06:21,903 --> 00:06:23,701
Please.
136
00:06:23,863 --> 00:06:26,777
No. You are not alligator wrestling
in my living room.
137
00:06:26,944 --> 00:06:28,538
I don't care
how many lives you have,
138
00:06:28,705 --> 00:06:31,426
I don't have time to pick up cat entrails
out of the carpet.
139
00:06:31,586 --> 00:06:34,579
Well, I did it.
I finally settled things with Mother.
140
00:06:34,746 --> 00:06:36,784
Oh, Hilda, I'm so glad
you talked to her.
141
00:06:36,947 --> 00:06:40,942
Who talked? I filled her living room
with 2 tons of cracked corn.
142
00:06:41,428 --> 00:06:42,465
Out of my way.
143
00:06:42,629 --> 00:06:46,146
SABRINA: Mr. Kraft, where's Martha?
- Oh, that is a very good question.
144
00:06:46,310 --> 00:06:48,142
We were enjoying
a skim milk in my office
145
00:06:48,310 --> 00:06:49,630
and she stepped out
to freshen up.
146
00:06:49,791 --> 00:06:51,623
Next thing I know,
the door is locked,
147
00:06:51,791 --> 00:06:53,306
no one is heeding
my screams for help,
148
00:06:53,472 --> 00:06:55,543
and I had to crawl out
through an air duct.
149
00:06:55,712 --> 00:06:57,909
I better go find her.
She's not very good in new places.
150
00:06:58,073 --> 00:06:59,587
In case you haven't noticed,
she's shy.
151
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:01,905
Shy? Ha. That woman is a brazen--
152
00:07:02,074 --> 00:07:04,066
[CHOKING]
153
00:07:05,875 --> 00:07:10,632
Wait a minute. My emerald tie pin.
It's gone.
154
00:07:10,796 --> 00:07:11,787
Call the police.
155
00:07:12,197 --> 00:07:13,347
[GAGGING]
156
00:07:13,877 --> 00:07:15,870
[ALARM RINGING]
157
00:07:53,328 --> 00:07:54,318
Martha.
158
00:07:54,848 --> 00:07:56,169
Martha, did you come home?
159
00:07:56,329 --> 00:07:57,922
[HAMMERING]
160
00:07:58,129 --> 00:08:00,690
And are you re-shingling
our roof?
161
00:08:02,250 --> 00:08:03,241
There.
162
00:08:03,411 --> 00:08:06,564
I still say we should have gone
for a good old-fashioned moat.
163
00:08:07,652 --> 00:08:08,642
Redecorating?
164
00:08:08,812 --> 00:08:11,612
No, a dangerous jewel thief
has escaped from the Other Realm.
165
00:08:11,773 --> 00:08:13,332
[THUNDER CRASHES]
166
00:08:13,533 --> 00:08:14,684
Oh, a wanted poster.
167
00:08:14,854 --> 00:08:16,573
Oh, I hate artist renderings.
168
00:08:16,734 --> 00:08:18,727
They all look like Doodles Weaver
in a stocking cap.
169
00:08:18,895 --> 00:08:21,650
Hey, if you squint,
this guy kind of looks like my pen pal.
170
00:08:21,816 --> 00:08:23,409
- Really?
- Yeah, but it can't be Martha.
171
00:08:23,576 --> 00:08:25,011
She's way too nice.
172
00:08:26,017 --> 00:08:27,736
HILDA:
Jewels.
173
00:08:28,097 --> 00:08:30,055
For an extremely dangerous
criminal.
174
00:08:34,579 --> 00:08:37,049
So then I sort of turned her into a cat
and brought her home.
175
00:08:37,220 --> 00:08:39,611
And having to smuggle her
didn't strike you as odd?
176
00:08:39,781 --> 00:08:41,579
When you say, "smuggle,"
it just sounds bad.
177
00:08:41,741 --> 00:08:44,541
You signed up for a pen pal
with a capital P.
178
00:08:44,702 --> 00:08:47,775
A pen pal with a capital P
means a pal in the penitentiary.
179
00:08:47,943 --> 00:08:49,536
Everyone knows that.
180
00:08:49,703 --> 00:08:51,502
I bet I could round up a few people
who don't.
181
00:08:52,184 --> 00:08:53,823
She was working in the library.
182
00:08:53,984 --> 00:08:57,262
The most dangerous criminals
are always forced to shelve books.
183
00:08:57,425 --> 00:08:58,780
Keeps bloodshed to a minimum.
184
00:08:58,946 --> 00:09:00,426
[SALEM YELLING]
185
00:09:00,586 --> 00:09:02,419
She's got Salem.
186
00:09:02,587 --> 00:09:04,385
Wah-jah!
187
00:09:05,108 --> 00:09:07,907
- What are you doing?
- Expressing sheer delight.
188
00:09:08,068 --> 00:09:10,140
I'm making a type of sushi
known as fugu.
189
00:09:10,309 --> 00:09:13,587
If it's not prepared exactly right,
it can be lethal.
190
00:09:13,750 --> 00:09:14,979
Hope, hope.
191
00:09:15,150 --> 00:09:17,620
WOMAN [OVER TV]: We interrupt
Hey, Let's Wrap Things in Seaweed
192
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:18,986
for a special bulletin.
193
00:09:19,151 --> 00:09:22,304
Hot dog. I'm gonna miss
how to de-vein the poison sac.
194
00:09:22,472 --> 00:09:24,385
There have been a rash
of jewel robberies reported
195
00:09:24,553 --> 00:09:26,067
in the Westbridge area.
196
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:28,032
That's right. It was
an emerald tie clip.
197
00:09:28,194 --> 00:09:31,393
And beware, the thief may be trying
to pass himself off
198
00:09:31,555 --> 00:09:35,152
as a licensed private eye
or a member of the Lions Club.
199
00:09:35,316 --> 00:09:38,071
WOMAN: She's been seen
talking to a blond accomplice.
200
00:09:38,237 --> 00:09:39,307
A blond accomplice? Oh, no.
201
00:09:39,477 --> 00:09:40,467
[THUDDING]
202
00:09:40,637 --> 00:09:42,948
Reporting live from Westbridge
High School. We now return--
203
00:09:43,118 --> 00:09:46,237
Those three run way too much.
204
00:09:47,439 --> 00:09:50,797
Oh. Too late. Your pen pal's gone
with the goods.
205
00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:53,635
Okay, I admit it. I misjudged her.
206
00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:54,996
More bad news. I just checked.
207
00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:56,755
All our jewels are missing
from our safe.
208
00:09:56,922 --> 00:09:58,322
Oh, no.
209
00:09:58,482 --> 00:10:00,076
- We have jewels?
- Of course.
210
00:10:00,243 --> 00:10:02,678
Oh. We have a safe?
211
00:10:03,483 --> 00:10:04,838
Let's think.
212
00:10:05,004 --> 00:10:07,236
Since Martha has no magic
of her own,
213
00:10:07,405 --> 00:10:09,044
she probably wanted the jewels
214
00:10:09,205 --> 00:10:11,277
so that she can buy potions
on the magic black market.
215
00:10:11,446 --> 00:10:14,245
So she can have her own magic back,
continue her evil ways,
216
00:10:14,406 --> 00:10:16,478
and wreak havoc
on an unsuspecting world.
217
00:10:16,647 --> 00:10:18,001
Where is this safe?
218
00:10:18,168 --> 00:10:20,558
- I'm in denial here.
- We've got to find her.
219
00:10:20,728 --> 00:10:23,403
Let's see. The book and the rope
came from school.
220
00:10:23,569 --> 00:10:26,722
You better go back there in case
she thinks of anything else she needs.
221
00:10:26,890 --> 00:10:28,643
And I'll call the Other Realm police.
222
00:10:28,810 --> 00:10:30,803
Good. I'll see if there's
any information on Martha
223
00:10:30,971 --> 00:10:32,007
on the Witch Wide Web.
224
00:10:32,812 --> 00:10:34,769
She had lovely penmanship.
225
00:10:36,412 --> 00:10:37,893
BOTH: Oh!
- What are you doing here?
226
00:10:38,053 --> 00:10:40,569
Just getting out of wrestling practise.
What are you doing here?
227
00:10:40,734 --> 00:10:43,533
I-- I forgot my chemistry book.
228
00:10:44,615 --> 00:10:45,685
- Jewels?
- Oh. Ha-ha-ha.
229
00:10:45,855 --> 00:10:50,533
That's where I put the props from
the school production of Rich People
230
00:10:50,696 --> 00:10:52,768
that hasn't been announced yet,
that I'm starring in,
231
00:10:52,937 --> 00:10:54,975
that I haven't told anyone about yet.
Heh.
232
00:10:55,138 --> 00:10:56,857
Is that by Thornton Wilder?
233
00:10:59,899 --> 00:11:03,132
So Sabrina Spellman is a jewel thief
234
00:11:03,300 --> 00:11:07,011
and future prison laundry employee.
235
00:11:13,663 --> 00:11:16,337
Aha. They're in this together.
236
00:11:20,264 --> 00:11:24,818
You know what? You go ahead.
I-- I gotta find something else.
237
00:11:37,629 --> 00:11:41,306
Martha was once in prison
for trying to steal the Star of Orion.
238
00:11:41,470 --> 00:11:45,226
- The rarest gem in the universe?
- Once owned by Elizabeth Taylor.
239
00:11:45,391 --> 00:11:48,908
Whoever possesses it can use it
to steal power from other witches.
240
00:11:49,072 --> 00:11:50,223
Isn't it still on display
241
00:11:50,393 --> 00:11:52,385
at the Other Realm Museum
of Cosmic Debris?
242
00:11:52,553 --> 00:11:54,705
Yes.
Next to a chunk of Skylab.
243
00:11:54,874 --> 00:11:57,390
My guess is,
we go there, we find Martha.
244
00:11:57,555 --> 00:12:01,948
And now for the toxic fugu
inexpertly prepared.
245
00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:05,349
Great. No death.
246
00:12:05,677 --> 00:12:06,952
[GRUNTS]
247
00:12:10,558 --> 00:12:12,152
[THUNDER CRASHES]
248
00:12:22,802 --> 00:12:24,441
[THUNDER CRASHES]
249
00:12:26,723 --> 00:12:28,282
[THUNDER CRASHES]
250
00:12:31,404 --> 00:12:35,843
Oh, it's gonna be really hard
to find you in there, Spellman.
251
00:12:38,326 --> 00:12:40,238
Spellman?
252
00:12:41,087 --> 00:12:42,316
Is that a black hole?
253
00:12:43,167 --> 00:12:45,603
Oh. Oh, my eyes!
254
00:12:46,728 --> 00:12:49,403
Okay, Martha, where are you?
255
00:12:49,889 --> 00:12:51,164
You may be a dangerous criminal,
256
00:12:51,329 --> 00:12:53,765
but you're not very good as a hider.
Got you.
257
00:12:53,930 --> 00:12:55,524
[BOTH SCREAM]
258
00:12:55,731 --> 00:12:57,962
- What are you doing here?
- I just followed Martha here.
259
00:12:58,131 --> 00:13:00,647
but I guess our screams have
eliminated the element of surprise.
260
00:13:00,812 --> 00:13:03,772
So we were right.
She is gonna steal the Star of Orion.
261
00:13:03,933 --> 00:13:05,049
We've come up with a plan.
262
00:13:05,213 --> 00:13:06,887
Well, actually,
Zelda came up with the plan
263
00:13:07,054 --> 00:13:08,727
while I looked for gum. Cinnamon?
264
00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:11,566
We'll use
a hand-in-the-cookie-jar spell.
265
00:13:11,735 --> 00:13:14,570
See, once Martha grabs
the Star of Orion,
266
00:13:14,736 --> 00:13:16,568
a cookie jar will appear
around her hand.
267
00:13:16,736 --> 00:13:18,649
The problem is,
we have to be next to the stone
268
00:13:18,817 --> 00:13:19,807
in order to enact it.
269
00:13:19,977 --> 00:13:22,777
Oh, what's stopping you?
I mean, besides the death rays.
270
00:13:22,938 --> 00:13:25,852
We found the control box
that turns the beams off,
271
00:13:26,019 --> 00:13:28,615
but we can't get into it
because it's magic-proof.
272
00:13:28,780 --> 00:13:31,295
Well, why don't you use your
nuclear necklace to blow it open?
273
00:13:31,460 --> 00:13:34,613
That's perfect. Once again,
Mother comes through.
274
00:13:34,781 --> 00:13:36,580
[SARCASTICALLY]
Oh, yeah. Don't we love her.
275
00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:40,893
Nothing.
276
00:13:42,063 --> 00:13:44,056
Okay.
277
00:13:44,344 --> 00:13:50,057
I was just transported by a closet
to another dimension.
278
00:13:50,225 --> 00:13:51,580
I see the problem.
279
00:13:51,746 --> 00:13:53,942
Mother didn't include a battery
with it.
280
00:13:54,107 --> 00:13:56,622
I know we're doomed, but I feel
an incredible sense of justice.
281
00:13:56,787 --> 00:13:59,303
Well, one of us is gonna have to crawl
under those deadly beams,
282
00:13:59,468 --> 00:14:02,382
and these are new pants
so you two can duke it out.
283
00:14:02,549 --> 00:14:05,065
What we need is somebody
who's not afraid to die.
284
00:14:05,230 --> 00:14:06,220
I know.
285
00:14:07,190 --> 00:14:10,821
[SINGING]
286
00:14:11,031 --> 00:14:12,512
Do you mind?
287
00:14:12,672 --> 00:14:15,141
Salem, we need you
to run through these security beams
288
00:14:15,312 --> 00:14:18,351
- to see how dangerous they are.
- It's your chance to cheat death.
289
00:14:18,513 --> 00:14:22,349
Finally. I won't be thwarted this time.
Stand back.
290
00:14:23,074 --> 00:14:26,751
Whew. Warm, warm.
Hot, hot, hot, hot. Oh.
291
00:14:26,916 --> 00:14:29,351
Salem, you big baby,
the beams didn't even touch you.
292
00:14:29,516 --> 00:14:32,988
You don't understand.
I blister easy. I need aloe.
293
00:14:33,157 --> 00:14:34,877
Zap me home,
you mean, mean women.
294
00:14:36,918 --> 00:14:38,353
Why don't we use your necklace,
Zelda?
295
00:14:38,519 --> 00:14:41,432
Oh, that's right, it doesn't work. Heh.
296
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:44,272
Hello?
297
00:14:46,281 --> 00:14:48,637
Okay. Be cool, Kraft.
298
00:14:48,801 --> 00:14:52,239
You are either lost
in a parallel universe
299
00:14:52,402 --> 00:14:56,842
or you are being digested.
300
00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:02,916
Hilda, I need the coupon for
those ball bearings Mother gave you.
301
00:15:03,085 --> 00:15:05,282
Because your present stinks
doesn't mean you can have mine.
302
00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:06,436
The coupon is shiny.
303
00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:08,519
Perhaps we can use it
to reflect one of the lasers
304
00:15:08,687 --> 00:15:10,440
onto the control box
to open it.
305
00:15:10,607 --> 00:15:11,837
Good thinking, MacGyver.
306
00:15:20,010 --> 00:15:21,683
- Oops.
- Ha, ha.
307
00:15:21,851 --> 00:15:23,444
Not only is my gift
better than yours,
308
00:15:23,611 --> 00:15:26,366
but now you owe me
a whole bunch of ball bearings.
309
00:15:27,412 --> 00:15:30,406
Great. Okay, here goes.
310
00:15:30,573 --> 00:15:33,453
Whoever touches
this stone from a star,
311
00:15:33,614 --> 00:15:36,653
encase their hand
in a cookie jar.
312
00:15:36,815 --> 00:15:37,805
The spell's activated.
313
00:15:37,975 --> 00:15:38,965
[FOOTSTEPS]
314
00:15:39,135 --> 00:15:42,686
That must be Martha. Quick, hide.
I'll turn the beams back on.
315
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:51,888
Hmm.
316
00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:56,500
This potion better be worth
a bag of stolen jewels.
317
00:16:05,182 --> 00:16:06,697
Why didn't we think of that?
318
00:16:06,863 --> 00:16:11,416
There it is.
All the power in the universe.
319
00:16:11,584 --> 00:16:14,339
It looked better
in the catalogue, but...
320
00:16:15,785 --> 00:16:17,220
[SIGHS]
321
00:16:17,946 --> 00:16:19,903
- Hey.
- We've got her.
322
00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:21,057
[FOOTSTEPS]
323
00:16:21,227 --> 00:16:23,662
Security's coming.
I'm holding the Star of Orion.
324
00:16:23,827 --> 00:16:26,218
That might look suspicious.
325
00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:31,624
[JAR SHATTERING]
326
00:16:31,830 --> 00:16:32,946
Maybe I should have incanted
327
00:16:33,110 --> 00:16:35,307
the unbreakable-plastic-cookie-jar
spell.
328
00:16:35,991 --> 00:16:38,108
- Hello?
- As if it couldn't get any worse.
329
00:16:38,271 --> 00:16:40,229
Ladies and gentlemen,
my vice principal.
330
00:16:40,392 --> 00:16:43,591
Oh, what a mess.
And me without my whisk broom.
331
00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:45,585
- Freeze!
- Oh, finally. I was--
332
00:16:45,753 --> 00:16:47,586
- Hey. Hey.
- Hey, don't hurt him.
333
00:16:49,154 --> 00:16:50,384
- Don't hurt her.
- Hilda?
334
00:16:50,555 --> 00:16:52,512
Oh! Oh, I should have seen this
coming.
335
00:16:52,675 --> 00:16:55,510
Hey, take it easy.
I'm going, I'm going.
336
00:16:55,676 --> 00:16:56,712
Don't hurt them.
337
00:16:56,877 --> 00:16:59,108
Oh, shucks, they didn't hear me.
338
00:17:03,398 --> 00:17:05,152
Martha.
339
00:17:05,759 --> 00:17:07,557
So I guess when we agreed
to be pen pals,
340
00:17:07,719 --> 00:17:09,791
I was the only one
who took the pal part seriously.
341
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:11,394
You're right, Sabrina.
342
00:17:11,561 --> 00:17:14,554
You've been so nice
and I've taken advantage.
343
00:17:14,721 --> 00:17:18,318
Here, take this stone.
Save me from myself.
344
00:17:18,482 --> 00:17:20,122
See? You aren't all bad.
345
00:17:20,283 --> 00:17:22,924
I knew I was
a good judge of people.
346
00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:27,517
Hmm. Now I have your magic.
See you.
347
00:17:27,805 --> 00:17:30,037
Oh, I'm really glad no one else
was here to see that.
348
00:17:30,206 --> 00:17:33,439
You're in for a world of hurt,
librarian.
349
00:17:36,767 --> 00:17:39,124
Give me back my magic.
350
00:17:40,769 --> 00:17:43,682
Well, at least give me back
my necklace.
351
00:17:44,289 --> 00:17:45,963
[WHIMPERING]
I need more unguent.
352
00:17:46,130 --> 00:17:49,090
It hurts so very, very bad.
353
00:17:49,291 --> 00:17:50,771
[WHIMPERING]
354
00:17:50,971 --> 00:17:52,372
[NORMAL VOICE]
Oh, they're not here.
355
00:17:52,532 --> 00:17:53,568
That's right.
356
00:17:53,732 --> 00:17:56,248
Well, it was a good rehearsal,
though.
357
00:17:56,413 --> 00:17:59,691
I'm not asking you again.
Where's the stone?
358
00:18:00,574 --> 00:18:01,564
It's in my kidney?
359
00:18:02,294 --> 00:18:03,490
[SLAPPING NOISE]
360
00:18:03,695 --> 00:18:05,288
- He's innocent.
- Sit down.
361
00:18:05,455 --> 00:18:06,856
We'll get to you later, Poindexter.
362
00:18:07,656 --> 00:18:08,885
Mean.
363
00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:12,809
- Is she your accomplice?
- We date a little.
364
00:18:13,097 --> 00:18:15,567
Ow! Bursitis.
365
00:18:15,738 --> 00:18:17,890
When he said, "Get to you,"
he meant just you, right?
366
00:18:18,059 --> 00:18:19,618
Boris.
367
00:18:20,739 --> 00:18:21,810
[WHIMPERING]
368
00:18:21,980 --> 00:18:23,699
[DRILL WHIRRING]
369
00:18:23,900 --> 00:18:26,575
That's to fix the wobble
in the table, right?
370
00:18:27,621 --> 00:18:28,658
Back off, witch girl.
371
00:18:28,822 --> 00:18:31,257
What are you doing still chasing me?
You don't have any magic.
372
00:18:31,422 --> 00:18:34,257
But I still have my wits
and a penny.
373
00:18:34,463 --> 00:18:35,453
[METAL GRINDING]
374
00:18:35,624 --> 00:18:37,058
- Yaah!
- Whoo-hoo!
375
00:18:37,264 --> 00:18:41,498
Mother of Mercy,
is this the end of Martha?
376
00:18:41,665 --> 00:18:45,501
Okay, where is this Martha
who you claim took the Star of Orion?
377
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:48,785
- I don't know.
- I'm thinking.
378
00:18:48,947 --> 00:18:50,940
Hail Mary, full of grace--
379
00:18:51,108 --> 00:18:52,098
[DRILL WHIRRING]
380
00:18:52,268 --> 00:18:53,622
ALL:
No.
381
00:18:54,109 --> 00:18:56,340
I gave you back your magic
and your teensy little diamond.
382
00:18:56,509 --> 00:18:57,545
What more do you want?
383
00:18:57,710 --> 00:19:00,020
To turn you in
and save my aunts.
384
00:19:00,190 --> 00:19:02,581
And that diamond was one-twentieth
of a quarter carat, lady.
385
00:19:02,751 --> 00:19:03,741
[ZELDA AND HILDA CRYING]
386
00:19:03,911 --> 00:19:05,426
Oh, no. They're torturing them.
387
00:19:05,592 --> 00:19:07,151
[LAUGHING]
388
00:19:08,873 --> 00:19:10,512
Or not.
389
00:19:11,193 --> 00:19:14,870
Sabrina, thank goodness you're here.
They've been tickling us mercilessly.
390
00:19:15,434 --> 00:19:17,552
[LAUGHING]
Zelda and Willard did it.
391
00:19:18,395 --> 00:19:20,672
Oh, we're saved. Never mind.
392
00:19:20,836 --> 00:19:23,397
- They're not communists.
- This is the woman you want.
393
00:19:23,557 --> 00:19:25,628
That's Martha,
the notorious jewel thief.
394
00:19:25,797 --> 00:19:27,596
Grab her.
395
00:19:28,838 --> 00:19:30,876
Wait a minute. She's a jewel thief
396
00:19:31,039 --> 00:19:33,998
and that's the Star of Orion
in her purse.
397
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:38,315
I'm gonna go with my gut
and say these people are not guilty.
398
00:19:39,041 --> 00:19:41,477
So who wants to start with
the "Job well done, Sabrina"?
399
00:19:41,642 --> 00:19:44,874
Yes, you did a nice job
of smuggling in a dangerous criminal.
400
00:19:45,042 --> 00:19:47,399
Who then got us arrested
and tortured.
401
00:19:47,563 --> 00:19:49,123
But look on the bright side.
402
00:19:49,284 --> 00:19:50,798
I don't suppose
you could loosen these,
403
00:19:50,964 --> 00:19:54,356
seeing as how I'm already a prisoner
of your charms.
404
00:19:54,525 --> 00:19:56,404
Martha's really come out
of her shell.
405
00:20:00,207 --> 00:20:02,244
He bumped his head
and had some wild dream?
406
00:20:02,407 --> 00:20:03,603
No. We've used that one.
407
00:20:03,768 --> 00:20:05,487
- Bad pork.
- Did it twice.
408
00:20:05,648 --> 00:20:06,968
[GASPS]
409
00:20:07,449 --> 00:20:09,566
- Okay, what happened?
- Just go with me.
410
00:20:09,729 --> 00:20:10,925
Don't you remember, Mr. Kraft?
411
00:20:11,090 --> 00:20:13,810
The EPA found methane
in your office,
412
00:20:13,970 --> 00:20:15,564
and it's known to cause
hallucinations.
413
00:20:15,731 --> 00:20:18,531
So all you need to do is burn your
clothes and take some more sulphur.
414
00:20:18,692 --> 00:20:20,604
Never leave the excuse
to a teenager.
415
00:20:21,492 --> 00:20:24,804
Methane? Sulphur?
416
00:20:25,814 --> 00:20:28,932
Oh, holy day, I'm not crazy.
417
00:20:34,096 --> 00:20:37,249
So Martha convinced me
that she was a dull, nice librarian,
418
00:20:37,417 --> 00:20:40,138
but I still think she was sincere
when she laughed at my jokes.
419
00:20:40,298 --> 00:20:42,574
Oh, honey,
everybody misjudges people.
420
00:20:42,738 --> 00:20:45,777
When Salem was busy
trying to take over the world,
421
00:20:45,939 --> 00:20:48,819
your Aunt Hilda was convinced
he was just a workaholic.
422
00:20:48,980 --> 00:20:50,414
[TOASTER DINGS]
423
00:20:51,981 --> 00:20:55,100
"Salem. A clerical error has been made
on the clerical correction
424
00:20:55,262 --> 00:20:56,696
of your original clerical error.
425
00:20:56,862 --> 00:20:59,662
You don't have nine lives left,
you've got one."
426
00:20:59,823 --> 00:21:01,735
One? Just one.
427
00:21:01,903 --> 00:21:03,702
Okay, I want a helmet,
some body armour,
428
00:21:03,864 --> 00:21:06,175
and a quiet corner
where I can avoid all danger.
429
00:21:06,345 --> 00:21:08,814
And would someone move
that spoon?
430
00:21:10,266 --> 00:21:12,337
Well, Mother just called.
431
00:21:12,506 --> 00:21:15,978
Apparently, the gift certificate was
for gold earrings, not ball bearings.
432
00:21:16,147 --> 00:21:18,458
I misread
her very bad handwriting.
433
00:21:18,628 --> 00:21:20,985
See? She wasn't being unfair.
434
00:21:21,149 --> 00:21:23,220
- So is everything okay with you two?
- I guess.
435
00:21:23,389 --> 00:21:26,349
Although, my bedroom is now filled
with 4 tons of cracked corn,
436
00:21:26,510 --> 00:21:28,503
and I'm not allowed to watch
television for a week.
437
00:21:28,671 --> 00:21:32,063
Cracked corn? Isn't that
one of the signs of the apocalypse?
438
00:21:32,232 --> 00:21:34,030
Run away.
439
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:38,630
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