Original subtitles

We want to impress our guests but they are very conservative people.

So you must not make anything too spicy.

Alright. We can do that.

I can't stress the importance of that enough.

Nothing spicy. But not bland either.

Bland and grand. Got it.

I certainly hope so.

Since the success of my husband's business relies on the opinion of these people.

No pressure there.

I'm sure you'll do fine. You come highly recommended.

In fact, you catered my friend's Dolores Beringer's wedding, and...

...and her husband was promoted to partner the very next day.

She swears up and down it was due to the success of the dinner.

Although, I couldn't understand what she was saying over all that giggling.

Anyway. I'll leave you to your duties. I'm sure you'll do fantastic.

Hors d'oeuvres? Such a terrible word.

Hors d'oeuvre? Can't you just call it a snack?

Since you're the head of the zoning commission, Gordon...

It's imperative we have you on board. Or we can't even begin to build downtown.

My jobs are depending on that.

So I want to make sure we can depend on you.

I hear your point.

I really wish there was something I could do to help.

But unfortunately, my hands are tied.

You see my wife... she wouldn't go for that sort of business in our community.

All those writhing... sweaty bodies.

She'll say it's immoral.

It's a health club spa, Gordon. It's not a whorehouse.

What can I say?

She says spandex is obscene.

With all due respect, Mr. Gordon, I think you're really missing the big picture here.

With all due respect, Mr. Fancy, you don't know my wife do you?

She's always been a bit of a cold fish, yes.

But I knew that when I married her.

You see after she gave birth to our first son...

She told me we would have to wait to have sex until she was ready.

So? So?

My son finally left.

I think she's finally ready to have sex with me again.

I don't want anything to mess that up.

Your sons gone? Where did he go?

College.

Yes. I see.

You realize we been busy every night this week?

I know. It's great.

The phone just keeps ringing.

Sorry been working you so hard. It's the new business and all.

I'm not complaining.

I just need something to spend all this overtime money on.

Let's go get a drink after this.

Oh, you're funny. You always say that.

But I'll probably just go home and work on some recipes.

Cook something. Clean something. Go to bed.

And you always say that.

You know you need to learn to balance...

...business and pleasure.

I don't have time for pleasure.

You make your own schedule, Caroline.

And the cycle continues. Besides I like working.

I get to be the conductor to this little symphony of spices and flavors and textures.

With my wooden spoon as my baton I make music in people's mouths.

Yes. You're the maestro and I'm your orchestra of one.

It's why we work so well together.

I'm telling you!

I already know that.

We work so well together, I don't think I could do this without you.

Well you could.

No! No. No.

Probably I could, but it wouldn't be nearly as much fun.

Wait! Shh. Listen.

Aaron, do you hear it?

What?

The drums!

What drums?

Shh. Listen.

I think it's coming frommmmmm...

I hear them. They're faint and distant.

They're calling to me.

Telling me that they want to come forward. They want to be heard!

See if I add more spice...

They get even louder and..

...thumping!

Oh, natives are restless.

They are restless and I turn up the heat...

...and I add some wine.

It becomes a drunken, primal orgy!

Drunken Primal Orgy Soup. That's what we should call it.

It's better than bouillabaisse.

Have you ever heard the term, "married to your work"?

Yes. That's exactly it.

I am happily married to my work.

And lately it seems like I'm literally married to it.

What do you mean?

I don't know exactly, but...

...ever since we've been catering...

...I've been having this vivid recurring daydream.

Fantasy! Right.

Sometimes when I'm cooking...

...I imagine a man coming up from behind me...

...he gently places his arms around me...

...he sweeps the hair from my neck and kisses me...

He whispers in my ear. He ravishes me right there!

And when we're done... I snap out of it

My meal is finished.

I barely remember cooking it.

Like my subconscious is trying to tell me something.

Yeah. You know it is trying to tell you something.

It's trying to tell you that you're horny.

It's definitely more powerful than that.

Something happened. It's like the spices got a magical boost.

I mean. You've seen the effects of some of my creations.

Yeah I have. It has a really ecstatic effect on people.

You're like the master of deliciousness!

You're so funny.

No serious. It has like an aphrodisiac effect on people.

Seriously though, I think it's just trying to tell me that...

...the right guy is out there. Just keep being patient.

Mental patient.

Shut up!

So what does he look like... this fantasy man.

Well, I don't know exactly, cause...

...he's usually behind me and... he wears a mask.

Seriously, you're dreaming about doggie style with the Lone Ranger?

Alright, Tonto!

Let's finish up and you need to come get a drink with me and cut loose.

And you need to cut vegetables.

Get back to work smart Aleck. See if I ever tell you anything personal.

Hey, come on!

Ah, I totally will.

OK, I'm going to get another pepper.

Carolina. Carolina.

Carolina! Hey! Carolina!

Is this what you were talking about?

You've been on autopilot for awhile. You OK?

Yeah, I'm fine.

And the first course is ready.

So I asked him, you know, what kind of curtain you going to put up in this building...

Curtain? I'm just a building engineer. I've got no idea...

So I... told him it's the outside facade that goes on the building.

Right, but this is no place for work in the den.

But that's just a whole other story in itself.

Gordon. What I really wanted to talk with you about...

...is I have some proposals for you...

...on what my business has done for the whole Springfield community.

How it saved the local community.

Yeah, I think that matter is about closed.

Oh, well, let's just save this business talk for after dinner, boys. OK?

How is your soup tasting, Prudence?

It's, um, very nice.

Quite nice!

It's just so hot. Hot?

Oh no.

I specifically told the chef, nothing spicy.

I'm just... so hungry.

Finish your soup, honey.

Mmmmm.

Honey.

Just like that. I love you so much.

Oh, that tickles.

Go slowly. Go slowly.

I had a wonderful time!

You have such a beautiful home!

Mr. Fancing.

You can count on my vote.

Thank you very much sir. I know I can.

Y'all drive safe.

Have a good night.

Here is your payment for tonight's dinner.

And I included a very large tip.

Thank you.

No thank you.

Just one more little thing.

Yes.

Could I get the recipe for that delicious soup.

Oh. Ah.

Sure. I just kind of throw it together on the fly, but...

...sure I'll give you what I have. Absolutely.

OK. Thank you so much.

You're welcome.

Alright.

You know, I've got this. You should go out, have some fun.

Well...

I'll stay around, help you clean up. Then you can come do something fun with me.

You're sweet, but I think I'll just go home and get ready for tomorrow's job.

Alright, well I can come help you get ready.

It's OK. You should go out and have that drink you were talking about.

My roommate's home. She can help me.

You know, it wasn't the drink I was after. It was the company.

You know, I can't believe I didn't see this before.

Finally, OK.

My roommate is the same age as you...

...and she's single and she's absolutely adorable...

I should introduce you two.

Are you kidding me?

No, I'm serious. You would love her.

You know... you really don't get it do you.

I think I am going to take off.

I'll see you later.

I'm telling you, you would love him.

He's cute and funny.

And he's so sweet.

And he's got a really, really hot body.

Well, then, why don't you date him?

Because, he's too young.

He's the same age as me and you live with me.

Because we work together, and that's a recipe for disaster.

I'm just being realistic.

Realistic?

Like holding out for dream date Zorro?

I guess.

Hey, it's not done yet.

Whatever. Your loss of sanity is my gain.

When do I get to meet him?

Well...

He didn't seem to be feeling well when he left so...

I was thinking of baking him a cake and bringing it to him tomorrow.

You can come with me.

That sounds like a terrible idea.

Well, what else have you got to lose.

If all else fails, there will still be cake.

Whatever.

Why is he so down in the dumps?

It's a classic tale of unrequited love.

Oh, well you should stay late and tell me about it some time.

Yeah, sometime.

Come on man! What are you blind?

The bartender was totally hitting on you.

I'm not interested.

Please tell me you're gay.

Why?

Cause the only way you couldn't be interested in her is if you were dead.

And I'll still need this half of the rent.

That's compassionate.

She's got you blind, dead, and gay, dude.

Just get up and move on. She doesn't like you like that.

How many times can you ask someone out?

In a new and creative way, just to have her turn you down.

First she's too busy. Then she's too crazy.

Listen to what she's telling you.

She keeps telling me she's not interested, but her eyes are telling a different story.

Fine. Listen to her eyes then.

Hey guys we're closing up.

But my apartment is right around the corner if you wanna...

...keep the party going?

Yeah, I'd like to but...

...unfortunately I have to get old Eyor home safe before he loses his tail.

Suit yourself.

C'mon Captain Cock Block.

Hey there.

Happy Birthday.

Wow. Hey.

Oh, my birthday is not for a couple of months.

But, ah, thank you.

That's not weird at all.

It's the middle of the afternoon. I didn't think we'd be waking you.

No, I wasn't asleep.

I was, yes, I was asleep, but that's OK.

Charlie!

This is Carolina. THE Carolina?

Oh, damn. Nice.

I mean, nice to meet you. I'm Charlie.

That's smooth, Charlie. That's smooth.

And this is... uh. This is my roommate, Adele.

I told you about her last night.

Nice meeting you. I'm going to hit the shower.

OK. Well. Well. She's amazing.

Uh. I don't think we have any plates.

We have plates.

Let me just cut you a slice.

Thank you.

There you go.

Well. Well. Would you look at the time?

I have a meeting, I forgot I'm late for.

Aaron could you please give Adele home? I have to go.

She's a great chef. You should really try this cake.

Yeah. She's ah, amazing, yeah, I know that.

Mmm Hmm.

She told me that you were...

...hot, but ah...

...I didn't know how hot you were.

Thank you.

Look, ah...

You sure you don't want to try some of this cake?

I really am all right. Thanks though.

You seem really nice.

But... I am gonna go put some pants on.

And I'll drive you home.

Maybe you should put some pants on to.

Hi.

Hi.

You wanna try some?

Hell yeah!

So, how'd you like the cake that I made?

I didn't have any.

What! Why? I made it especially for you guys.

I know you did, and I really don't appreciate that.

You don't appreciate me cooking for you?

You know what I'm talking about.

No, I don't know what you're talking about.

You think you can trick me into having a relationship with your house mate?

Trick you?

I was doing something nice by introducing you to somebody I thought you might like.

You don't listen to me.

There's already someone I'm interested in.

And you putting someone in between is you being selfish.

Selfish?! Maybe you're the one being selfish.

I try to be nice about it. But you... don't... listen to me either.

Is everything alright?

Yes. Yes.

I thought I saw a mouse. But it wasn't a mouse.

Oh, OK.

It was a rat.

I'm sorry?

I like your hat... hair.

Thank you.

Happy anniversary, darling.

Happy anniversary.

I got you something really special.

Ooooh.

This chicken is delicious. Have you tried it?

Oh yeah. You know I like doing my veggie spears.

We all know you are a picky eater, Ramone.

Just eat the damn meat!

What's gotten into you?

Don't act like you don't know, Ramone.

I don't know.

You're being selfish, Ramone.

I am?

You're saying you have a special present for me, but I have to wait.

I just meant...

You know what? I don't want to wait.

I want... my present... now!

OK.

I know there's a lot of things you don't like to eat first.

But your wife shouldn't be one of them.

On your knees, boy!

It's amazing! Yes.

We haven't done this in forever.

What's gotten into you?

I like it.

Happy Anniversary. Happy Anniversary.

Hey sexy!

You were a pretty sad drunk the other night.

Yeah. Now I'm an angry one.

Ah. Still pining away?

No. I think I'm done with all that sad shit.

I get it. I'm taking the hint.

Good. Forget her.

You know. I was planning on driving to Vegas for the weekend.

Do you wanna come with?

Oh... Come on.

It will be fun. You can sit around here and mope and

sigh all weekend or you can hit the highway with me.

We can drink and laugh and fuck for days!

I don't know. Come on do it!

She doesn't care if you're there. She doesn't wan to be with you.

I do.

OK. Alright.

Alright. Uhmm. Meet back here in 2 hours.

Works for me.

Thank god you're here. I was starting to worry you weren't going to come.

Ah, I'm not staying.

Oh no. Are you sick?

Yeah. Sick and tired.

Not again Aaron.

Yeah, not ever again. I actually met somebody, and...

...she's great and she thinks I'm great. So we're going to go be great together.

Well that's just great!

I'm serious Carolina, unless there's anything you wanna say.

I could really use your help.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Later.

Later. When?

Later, never. You can consider this my resignation.

Carolina! Carolina.

Carolina, are you OK?

You look like you're a million miles away.

I'm fine. I'm just putting finishing touches on the eggplant parmigiana.

Good because the guests are getting hungry.

I have to go.

Excuse me?

I'm sorry, but I have to go.

I have to stop the man I love from being... "great".

But what about my party?!

And the man I love? It's my husband's birthday!

Everything... everything you need is here.

Everything is ready. You just have to serve yourselves.

And I want even charge you for tonight either.

It's on the house. But I have to go and stop him.

Run! Good luck.

Don't let him be great without you.

Thank you. Thank you.

As a special present to you and your husband...

...take my advice and have seconds on the eggplant parmigiana.

Aaron! Aaron! Is Aaron here?

Nice to see you. I wanted to thank you for that cake.

You're welcome. Is Aaron here?

No he left about 20 minutes ago.

Where did he go?

Something about Vegas.

What?

With that bartender chick...

...from that joint around the corner.

Oh my god! Have they left yet?

Yeah.

Well where is he?

He said he was going to leave his car at her place.

Where is her place?!

I don't know. Around the corner from the bar.

What was that all about?

I don't know.

Maybe she figured out who the man behind the mask is.

Aaron!

Aaron! Aaron! Don't go! Whoa!

Carolina, don't do this.

You had a chance to stop me.

I feel like a fool.

I'm the fool please. I know that now.

Please, please stay.

Please.

By Carolina.

Gun it.

But you're the Lone Ranger.

You're my Lone Ranger.

Oh god!