Original subtitles

Tip it in there.

- Which one's the lamb vindaloo? Is that it? - No.

Which one's the vindaloo, then?

Hey, Gunga Din, where's the lamb vindaloo?

- Just coming, sir. - Well, get a move on. And I want it hot.

I wanna be breathing fire.

- I'll make sure it's hot, sir. - Chop-chop, then.

Oi, why do Indians have that little red dot in the middle of their forehead?

Why?

No, you can't have a council house!

- Get it? - Of course I get it.

Lamb vindaloo.

They want more nan bread.

- And more nan. - It's coming.

Better out than in, mate.

Hey, Gunga Din. Have a word in the kitchen.

The food's going downhill here.

- I'm sorry, sir. - I don't wanna hear sorry.

I want a decent curry.

You do understand English, don't you? Speaky de English?

Yes, sir. I understand English.

Well, your vindaloos aren't hot enough. I barely broke a sweat.

- I wanna fart flames when I have a vindaloo. - Fart flames?

- Yes, sir. - All right, lads.

- Let's go. - Thank you.

- Aren't they paying? - They never pay.

We are England! Say, we are England!

- Bloody Pakis can't even make a decent curry. - I want my money back.

Mate, do you want some, or what?

You're not gonna do anything, Sanjay, so just get back into bed.

Go back home to Bangladesh, you Paki bastards!

Bangladesh isn't in Pakistan, you moron.

Ah!

- What do you call an Indian lesbian? - Minjeeta.

I'm so sari!

You're pissing on me toes, you dirty git!

Morning.

- You're late. - The paper-boy's got the chicken pox.

- His parents said he has to stay... - Piss off.

You're getting everything wet. Get in the back quickly. Jaldi, jaldi.

Look at that!

- I don't know why you bother. - Bit old to be a paper-boy, aren't you, Dad?

Could you help me with the papers tomorrow?

- In your dreams, Pop. - Ricky!

I would never have dared speak to my father like that.

There's no money in delivering newspapers, is there?

If we don't deliver them, how would our customers get them?

They could come here and buy it.

People like their papers with breakfast.

I would like a holiday in the south of France, but that's not gonna happen.

- We're low on cereal. - I'll go to the cash and carry.

And toilet paper.

You'd better go. I have to meet the wedding organiser at one o'clock.

And we have to talk to Manji. The bills are piling up again.

I don't know where we'd be without that brother of yours.

Morning.

Mr. Coleman.

Mr. Patel, could I have a word in my office, please?

If it was up to me, Mr. Patel, your credit wouldn't be a problem,

but my head office is putting me under pressure.

It's cash flow, that's all.

- It's been a quiet month. - I'm sorry, Mr. Patel. There's nothing I can do.

But if I can't buy stock, how can I provide what my customers need?

I can pay for today's order.

No more goods till you've settled your account.

�2,457.57.

- Thank you. - Thanks.

- You were a long time. - Traffic was bad.

- Bread delivery's late. - I'll call them.

I don't know why we bother with bread. Supermarkets sell it at half the price we do.

Not all our customers can go to the supermarket.

I'll go get ready to meet Keshav.

- How can I help you? - Can you tell me where the bus station is?

Thought your sort didn't use toilet paper.

- You know what today is, don't you? - Yes.

Yes, Mr. Brown.

- Yes, Mr. Brown. - So where is it?

Please... Business is very slow at the moment.

Not our problem.

- Is that it? - The new supermarket is taking all our trade.

We're closed. Stocktaking.

- You know what happened last time. - Gentlemen, I can pay. I just need time.

- I have a cash-flow problem. - Don't we all?

You always whine, you always plead poverty, but in the end you always pay, don't you?

You Pakis are all the same.

- Where's the money? - This evening.

- I'll have the money this evening. - We'll take this on account.

This evening.

We'll be back with the lads.

Hello?

Keshav. Yes, we have the plans for the wedding venue.

Food, we wanted to discuss.

- Homework? - Calculus.

I always loved maths when I was your age.

I'm kind of busy here, Dad.

I need you in the shop for a couple of hours.

- Dad. - I've got to take your mother to see Uncle Manji.

But this is important. I've got a test tomorrow.

- The shop's important too. - No, it ain't. It's a piddly little corner shop.

It's as far from important as you get without falling off the world.

It's just a matter of a few hours. Please.

Can't Sujata do it?

Your sister's busy getting ready for her wedding.

You know she doesn't wanna get married. It's only because Uncle Manji's forcing her into it.

Please, Ricky.

Oh!

OK, so we'll have the ice statues in the foyer here, here and here.

Ice statues. Aren't they expensive?

We'll drape the walls in red and gold silk to bring out the highlights in Suj's sari.

- Of course. - As for the buffet, I think we'll put it along here.

- What do you think, Keshav? - That's right.

And the waitress will serve the starters and the drinks.

- Perfect. - The guests can help themselves to the buffet.

Is that the menu? Do we really need all this food?

Sanjay, we do have to feed the guests.

Unless you'd rather we gave them bread and water. Come on. Manji will be waiting.

Thank you, Mrs. Patel. See you, Sanjay.

- Is everything OK, Dad? - Nothing's too much trouble for my little girl.

We're going to see your uncle. After all, he's the one paying for all this.

Ooh! Now, that's a nice car. It's a Porsche.

- It's a status symbol. - Yeah, well, at least Manji has status.

Meena!

Oh, and how is the mother of the bride?

It is so stressful. So much to arrange, so much pressure.

You're looking good on it, positively glowing.

- Please, stop it. - And how is the blushing bride?

She's really looking forward to it.

- Sanjay. - Manji.

You're going to be so proud walking her down the aisle.

Yes, it'll be a very special day.

Come on, let me show you around.

- This will be the dining room. - Manji, it's huge! It's bigger than our whole flat.

There'll be three chandeliers. I'm having them specially made in Milan.

Milan? Did you hear that, Sanjay? Milan.

- That's in Italy. - I know where Milan is.

Careful, Sanjay. That's a wall there.

Through here will be the swimming pool, heated all year round.

Did you hear that, Sanjay? A swimming pool.

- You can't swim. - The house has eight bedrooms, all en suite.

It's going to be lovely. A real dream house.

Anyway, this is for you,

for the wedding.

Oh, Manji.

You're a prince, a prince among men. Thank you so much.

It's nothing. It's the least I could do for my niece.

The least he can do? He is the one who pushed for the wedding in the first place.

- Sujata loves Ramesh. - I'm not saying she doesn't.

But Ramesh is one of Manji's business associates.

- He wanted her to marry him from the start. - You're never satisfied.

He's making out that he's doing this from the goodness of his heart,

but Ramesh wants British citizenship, and this is his way in.

- I've heard enough of this. You're just jealous. - Jealous?

Look at that house he's building, Sanjay.

Do you ever think we'll have a house like that?

I'll catch you later.

Trick or treat? Where's the money you owe me?

It's a ton. You know it's a ton.

- It's been a quiet day. - You got a problem, call the Samaritans.

- Please, you have to give me more time. - I don't have to do anything.

- Please, Mr. Brown, I'm under a lot of pressure. - I don't wanna hear your problems.

- Where's the rest? - It's all there is.

- I'm not stupid! Where's the money? - I had to pay suppliers. The bread men...

I don't want excuses! I want what you owe me!

I don't owe you anything.

- A ton, that is what we're due. - Look, why don't you ask the supermarket?

- Why don't you get them to pay you? - You what?

The bloody supermarket down the road, huh?

Why don't you get them to pay you?

They're the ones who are destroying my life! They're killing my business!

They're the ones you should be taking money from, not me!

But you can't ask them, can you? Because you're scared.

- You are a coward! - Does this look like I'm scared?

You are a coward, a bully.

And you're lazy, too lazy to work for a living.

You just steal. Do you know how hard it is to keep this shop going,

how hard it is to provide for a family?

I'll kill you!

Do you think I'm scared? Go on, cut me.

You've been bleeding me dry for years, so why not take it all at once?

- You Paki bastard! - I am not from Pakistan!

I am from India, the biggest democracy in the world!

You stabbed me.

Sorry.

I didn't mean to. It was an accident.

- I can't feel my legs. - I'm so sorry.

- I'll call for an ambulance. - Don't leave me.

- But I have to get help. - Don't leave me, please.

I'm cold.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Sanjay. We need more drinks. Didn't you hear me calling?

- It's so quiet these days. - It's the supermarkets.

We should never have opened a shop. It was a mistake. I told you it was a mistake.

- How's the mehndi going? - It's too cramped up there.

This place, it's too small.

I'm so sorry.

- Lottery tickets. - Over there.

- The machine can choose the numbers for you. - Ah, no. I always use the same numbers.

- Me lucky numbers. - OK.

And I always use me wife's birthday.

Now that's August, so that's 8.

But... I can't remember whether it's the 25th or the 26th.

Married for 40 years. You'd think I'd be able to remember!

- It's just that I want to close up early tonight. - Right, right. 25. There we are.

There you go.

There. That's �1, please.

There we are.

- Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so clumsy these days. - Don't worry. I've got it.

- It's the arthritis in the knuckles. - I've got it.

I'm sure there's something else I want.

- There is something else. - I want to close up early tonight.

Come back tomorrow. Why don't you come back tomorrow?

- Something good on telly, I suppose. - See you tomorrow.

- Enjoy your evening. - You take care. I will.

Bye-bye. See you tomorrow.

Are we late for the mehndi?

It's upstairs.

- When's the baby due? - Very soon.

- Good luck. - Thank you.

Dad?

Dad?

What do you want?

- I need 40 quid. - �40?

A computer program.

School says we need it.

- I have �10. - Oh, man! The till.

- Wait. - There's money in the till.

I've cashed up. Why don't you go upstairs and I'll bring the money to you?

It's OK. I can wait.

Why don't you ever do as you're told?

Why do you query everything I say? Am I that bad a father that I can't be obeyed?

Don't have kittens, Dad!

I would never have dared to speak to my father the way you speak to me!

Here's your money.

- The van's playing up. - So?

Thought I'd take it round to Arnie's, get him to look.

Do whatever you want.

Not a good idea, sir.

It is an offence.

The number plate.

I'm sorry.

I went to see my brother. He's building a new house.

You should see it. It's huge! A mansion.

- But it's got mud everywhere. - Really?

# Where fisherman go if they don't go... don't go to hell... #

Excuse me. What time's the next train, please?

- The last train? - I suppose so, yes.

- Ten minutes. - Right. Thank you.

So don't you want a ticket, then?

Um... no. No, thank you.

- What happened to the train? - Cancelled.

- It can't be cancelled. - Engine failure.

- Oh, no. - There is a minicab firm down the road.

I don't need a minicab. Don't you understand? I need a train!

It's not my fault, sir.

Yes, dear?

- Where've you been? - I told you, the van's been playing up.

Jaldi.

- Come on, drive. - Drive where?

The hospital. Kavita went into labour. We called the ambulance but they wouldn't take us.

Come on!

Don't you go without me.

Sir.

- Is he OK? - He fell over. Drunk.

It's not the first time.

A&E's that way.

I just want one cigarette. One cigarette.

Hey, you got a cigarette?

- You can't smoke in here. - I was talking to him.

- Well, he doesn't smoke. - I want a cigarette.

Here.

Excuse me, sir. Is he with you?

Um...

- Yeah. - Just fill out one of these and take a seat, sir.

It'll be an hour at least before he can get seen.

Now they're saying the baby isn't even coming until tomorrow. Chal!

- I've got to get this fixed. - Hasn't Arnie done it?

We were working on it when you phoned.

Oi, you. Did Ronnie come back in here the other night?

- I've paid him already. - I didn't ask you if you paid him.

- I asked you if he came back here. - He was here, I paid him and he went.

- How can I help you? - Are you the owner?

- Yes. - Chief Inspector Colin Duggan.

Green Park CID.

- Is... Is something wrong? - You are?

Sanjay Patel.

Do you know Ronnie Brown?

No, I don't know him. We have many customers.

- I don't know them all. - Mr. Brown wouldn't be a customer.

Quite the reverse, in fact. You can be Frank with me, Mr. Patel.

We know he's a member of a gang and he's extorting money from local businesses.

If you know that, why can't you do something about it?

We can't get witnesses. Nobody's prepared to give evidence against them.

- Nobody ever asked me. - Would you stand up in the witness box?

- Wednesday was the last time we saw him. - I don't think he was here.

- You've got a CCTV. - Yeah, you have to these days.

- Shoplifters. - School children, they're the worst.

We only allow two in at a time, otherwise, you know, they'd rob us blind.

Do you mind if I see the tape for Wednesday?

Inspector, do you not need something like warrant or something?

Do I need a warrant, Mr. Patel?

All I'm asking you to do is help me with my investigation.

Yeah. It's at the back.

Why are you looking for him?

He was supposed to be in court yesterday on an assault charge.

Two of our officers went to his house, no sign of him. Can we play that now?

I suppose so.

Why do you think he was here?

He's a thug, but he's methodical.

We found a list of businesses and amounts paid.

You hadn't paid this week, according to this book,

so I need to know if he came here.

He didn't.

Look, I do know him.

- Everybody does. - So you're paying him protection money?

- We all were. - Were?

I mean, are. We are. We all are.

Wednesday is the day you're supposed to pay, right?

- Yeah. - We need to know where he went and didn't go.

There's no time code on this tape.

Sorry. It's a DIY system. My wife's cousin installed it.

- Is it all right if I take this down the station? - I suppose so.

Thank you.

Do you think something's happened to him?

Well, we won't know that till we find him... or his body.

- This is Chief Inspector... - Duggan. Hello.

- Hello. - He's looking for a missing person.

- Who? - Ronnie Brown.

That thug. I hope he stays missing.

We have to get to Manji's office. Sujata can mind the shop.

My daughter's getting married, so please excuse us.

I'll get this back to you tomorrow.

Now, that's impressive. Oh.

- Meena! - This is the industry to be in.

You should have gone into business with Manji.

He said I could drive a delivery van.

So?

- Ah, Meena. Lovely to see you. - Thank you so much, Manji, for this.

It's the least I could do, the absolute least.

Come on. Come through to my office.

Sorry to drag you out all this way. It's just I wanted to do this in person.

Sit down, sit down. Beso.

It's beautiful.

Sujata is so lucky to have an uncle like you.

It's nothing. It's something I brought from my last trip to Dubai.

What does he want now?

Did you think we wouldn't notice?

- What? - That's the wrong tape.

That's Tuesday, not Wednesday.

- Are you sure? - Sanjay, what's happening?

We checked with the headlines.

I must have taped over it by mistake.

I'm sorry.

Brown had a mobile phone on him the night he disappeared.

We spoke to the phone company.

The last call he made was from this street.

Anything to say?

I thought not.

There.

Upstairs. At the back.

- What are they looking for? - A body.

- A what? - Just trying to rule out some possibilities.

This is outrageous. You can't treat us like this. This is our livelihood.

- It's all right, Meena. - It's not. You let people walk all over you.

Why don't you stand up for yourself?

- Nothing. - You're sure?

- What about Wednesday's tape? - Taped over.

- What about the van? - It's been cleaned... with bleach.

I'd bought frozen chickens. They thawed in the van.

- So you used bleach? - You have to. Blood can be dangerous.

Thank you.

We all know what sort of a bloke Brown was, Mr. Patel.

Scum of the earth.

He preyed on decent, honest, hard-working members of the community.

Horrible bastard.

- Do you want an orange? - No. No, thank you.

Not like you and me, eh? We both work all the hours God sends.

- It never ends, does it? - Got a wife to think about, family, kids.

Nah. I reckon Brown...

...he never done a decent, honest, hard day's graft in his life.

Inspector, you keep using the past tense.

Well, you don't know if he's dead, do you?

If he's not, he's made one hell of a disappearing act.

How much was he taking off you?

�100.

- Must have been one hell of a strain. - He was putting me out of business.

Him and the supermarket.

- What are you smiling at, Inspector? - Now you're using the past tense.

Did you always want to run a corner shop?

No, I wanted to be a film director.

Really? What, Bollywood?

Oh, no. Hitchcock was my hero.

Yeah?

I saw "Psycho" 20 times.

- It was just a stupid dream. - I always wanted to be a painter.

Not a decorator. No, no, no. Landscapes.

- Do you still paint? - Just the pelmets.

Nah, I've got no time. I've got a wife, three kids.

Barely see them as it is.

Our families don't appreciate, you know, the sacrifice we make.

That's right.

If Brown attacked you and you defended yourself,

every jury in this country would be on your side,

but you'd have to tell us.

However, if they were to find a body and then connect it to you,

no jury in this country would believe it was self-defence.

That's one to think about, isn't it?

If you do decide you want to talk to me, you've got my number.

You're a bit more expensive than the supermarkets.

They've got economies of scale, Inspector.

- Why are you here? - I'm sorry to bother you again.

There's something I wanted to clear up.

I'm going upstairs.

You didn't tell me you went out the night Brown disappeared.

You got this ticket. No licence plates.

- It was covered with mud. - Mud?

I went to see my brother. He's having a house built.

You went to see his house at night?

During the day. That's when the van got covered with the mud.

- I got the ticket at night. - Then where were you going?

The van was giving me trouble, so I was taking it to a mechanic.

Bit late to go to a garage, isn't it?

- He's a friend. - Can I have his name, please?

Yes. Arnie. Arnie Singh.

Arnie Singh.

Pass. And I think we should go for kebab on the bone. That's Keshav's speciality.

I don't want that man ruining the wedding.

He's a policeman. What can I do?

- I've got to go out. - You only just got back.

- I need Arnie to have another look at the van. - What did that policeman want?

Nothing, darling. He's still looking for that thug.

Good riddance, that's what I say. Come.

Arnie. Arnie.

- We've got to talk. - Tell me about it.

- Has the detective called you? - He asked if I worked on your van that night.

- And? What did you tell him? - What do you think I told him?

Brown was taking 100 quid a week off me.

Good morning, Mr. Patel. I thought I recognised the van.

It's not playing up again, is it? Dear, dear.

Yes.

You weren't planning on getting your story straight with Mr. Singh, were you?

- Of course not. - There's no story to get straight.

I'm glad to hear it. So you won't mind if we take a look for ourselves, will you?

Hello, sweetheart.

Why aren't you in bed? It's your big day tomorrow.

What is it?

Is it the wedding?

I don't know, Dad. Am I doing the right thing?

It's a bit late to be asking that, isn't it?

I'm not sure if I love Ramesh.

I told you right from the start, if you don't want to marry him, you just have to say.

I'm not having Manji railroad you into anything.

- This isn't because of Uncle Manji. - I know he wants this marriage.

And I know Ramesh wants a passport.

Dad, I'm not a kid. Do you think I'd let anybody force me to do something I didn't want to?

- Ramesh, he's a great guy. - But you don't love him... is that it?

I know he'll be a great husband, but I'm not sure if he really loves me or if I really love him.

Love comes with time.

What about you, Dad? Your marriage was arranged, wasn't it?

I didn't even meet your mother before the wedding day.

And now? Do you love her now?

- Of course I do. - Love love.

What does that mean?

Does your heart beat faster when you see her?

- That's fear. - Dad! You know what I mean.

- Sometimes the way she treats you... - Your mother had ambitions... for our family.

- She wanted us to do well. - And we have done well.

- She wanted more. - Like Uncle Manji.

Maybe she thinks she married the wrong brother.

No. I know I got the right dad.

Goodnight, sweetheart.

Move it over there in the back.

No, this side. This side.

Please. Can you put that chair where I told you to?

Is it in line with that one?

Thank you. What is this? Is this it? We need more cushions. A lot more cushions.

- I'll get it sorted, Mum. - Thank you.

You're going to love the kebab, Mrs. Patel. My chefs have excelled themselves.

- Everything has got to be absolutely perfect. - It will be perfect, Mrs. Patel.

Good, good. Make sure you clean that properly and...

What is he doing here?

I'll handle it. Excuse me.

Chief Inspector, this is my daughter's wedding day.

I just wanted a chat, Mr. Patel. Better we do it here than down the station, don't you think?

Not in here, please.

You wanted to be a director, didn't you?

That was my dream, but it was a long time ago.

Well, suppose this was a movie. Suppose you were directing a movie about a missing body.

- You don't know if there is a body. - Come on, humour me. Use your imagination.

- Hitchcock, what would he do? - Please, Chief Inspector.

Well, what would you do with a body?

- Bury it, I suppose. - Yeah, but bodies are always found.

Nothing can stay buried for ever.

A lake, then, or a canal.

But eventually it would float to the surface.

That's no way to live, knowing this body's gonna turn up.

- No way for who to live? - Well, the murderer, of course.

Most murderers are not very bright, Mr. Patel.

90% are spur-of-the-moment killings.

A wife takes a knife to her abusive husband.

A husband strangles a nagging wife.

To get away with murder, you've got to be very, very clever.

The body's got to be so well disposed of that it's never found.

Something I want you to see. Now, this is a police camera.

You can't go anywhere these days without a CCTV camera seeing you.

There are more CCTV cameras per head of population in the UK

than anywhere in the world.

Now, you said you were going to get the van repaired.

And the hospital. I went to the hospital with my wife.

It doesn't look like your wife's in the van,

and you're nowhere near a garage, so where were you going, Mr. Patel?

It's my daughter's wedding day, Inspector.

I know. I just want to clear this up, Mr. Patel.

This might jog your memory.

Just take the next left.

Right, that's it. Just stop here.

This bring back any memories, Mr. Patel?

- Sorry. - No.

Let's drive on a little bit and see what we see.

- Hell of a house. - My brother's the successful one.

He's got the Midas touch.

That's a good place to hide a body.

Don't you think?

Third time lucky, huh?

Oi!

- What the hell is going on? - This is a police investigation, sir.

This is my house.

Why are you here?

- I'm calling my lawter. - That's your prerogative, sir.

Inspector, I need to get back to the hotel.

- The wedding? - I've got no reason to detain you, Mr. Patel.

Yet.

Hello.

Where have you been?

What's wrong with Manji?

It's nothing.

Oh, you don't have champagne. Excuse me. Thank you.

There we go.

Hello.

Keshav! Where's the rest of the food?

It's on its way, Mrs. Patel. It's on its way.

You were late. How can you be late for your own daughter's wedding?

- It's been a hell of a day. - Meena.

- Has he told you about my house? - What's happened?

The police are tearing apart my house because of him!

- Sanjay? - They're still looking for that thug, that's all.

- Thug? - Mum.

- Oh, darling. Are you having a good time? - Yeah. Dad, thanks for everything.

Smile.

And again.

Thank you.

Not him again.

Afternoon, Mrs. Patel.

- Isn't it enough to vandalise my house? - And our shop.

- I'm just doing my job. - You're ruining our lives.

And now you're ruining my daughter's wedding.

I'm here to bring you good news. We didn't find anything at the house.

- I hope you put right the damage. - Of course. We're doing that right now.

Oh, what a beautiful spread, isn't it?

- We spent days planning the menu. - I bet you have.

I love Indian food - onion bhajis, lamb tikka masala.

- Is everything to your satisfaction? - What an absolute feast, Keshav.

You've done us proud. I'm sorry. This is Mr. Singh. He prepared the banquet.

Oh, very impressive.

I know you, don't I? You've got the restaurant on Carlisle Street.

- That's right. - Excellent food. I eat there twice a week.

Oh, that's very impressive, isn't it?

- Kebab on the bone. - Mr. Singh's speciality.

- May I? - Please.

- How is it? - Oh, it's excellent.

Mm.

- Did you close the restaurant today? - My brother Arnie's there.

- Arnie? - Yes.

- Arnie Singh? - Arnie Singh.

- The mechanic. - He used to be a chef.

Used to make the hottest vindaloos in the country. Still helps me out from time to time.

Oh, don't worry. I oversaw the preparation of the wedding food myself.

Arnie's more of a curry man.

Eh?

Bloody 'ell. This is the dog's bollocks.

Better than last time, innit?

I bet it was 'cause of Ronnie. Remember the way he laid into 'em?

- Told 'em what's what. - Oi, Gunga Din!

- This is the dog's bollocks. - I'm glad it meets your approval, sir.

- Get us some more of that vindaloo, will you? - Hold on.

Don't wanna waste it, now, do we? Cheers.

- Chop-chop. - I've never had a vindaloo like this.

More lamb vindaloo for table six.

Hey!

Oi! Get a move on!

Tell you what, Ronnie would have loved this, wouldn't he?

Loved a good curry, Ronnie.

I wonder what happened to him? One of life's little mysteries, that.

- Who knows? - Who cares?

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