Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
2
00:00:47,846 --> 00:00:50,326
The Bluemooners.
3
00:00:52,885 --> 00:00:56,231
With the stars, Maddie Hayes...
4
00:00:57,191 --> 00:00:59,398
...David Addison...
5
00:01:00,462 --> 00:01:03,171
...Agnes DiPesto...
6
00:01:03,364 --> 00:01:06,006
...and Richard Addison.
7
00:01:13,844 --> 00:01:17,917
-You all right in there?
-Alice, are you okay?
8
00:01:18,082 --> 00:01:20,155
Oh, some day, Alice, some day.
9
00:01:23,588 --> 00:01:26,832
-Hey, Ralph.
-Alice?
10
00:01:26,992 --> 00:01:29,472
Gosh, Ed, what should we do?
11
00:01:29,628 --> 00:01:32,610
I don't know. Maybe we can take
a couple of those kitchen chairs...
12
00:01:32,766 --> 00:01:34,905
...put them next to the door
and hear better.
13
00:01:35,068 --> 00:01:38,607
You want me to stop yelling, Alice?
I'll stop yelling.
14
00:01:38,773 --> 00:01:40,946
I'll stop yelling.
I'm not the one yelling.
15
00:01:41,109 --> 00:01:44,023
On my yard Alice! Do you hear me?
Do you hear me Alice?
16
00:01:44,714 --> 00:01:48,684
Of course I hear you, Ralph,
all five boroughs hear you.
17
00:01:48,851 --> 00:01:50,491
Hi, Ed. Hi, Trixie.
18
00:01:50,721 --> 00:01:53,201
Trixie! What are you doing here?
Don't you know we are having a fight?
19
00:01:53,357 --> 00:01:56,271
-Can't you see we're having a fight?
-Don't mind us.
20
00:01:59,297 --> 00:02:02,801
No, he didn't wake us up. We were
out for our evening constitutional.
21
00:02:02,968 --> 00:02:04,812
Well, you woke me up.
22
00:02:04,972 --> 00:02:07,885
-Why are you kids fighting?
-You wanna know why we're fighting?
23
00:02:08,039 --> 00:02:11,078
You wanna know why we're fighting?
I'll tell you why we're fighting.
24
00:02:11,244 --> 00:02:15,126
I will tell you why we are fighting.
25
00:02:15,750 --> 00:02:20,165
-I don't know why we're fighting.
-You know why we're fighting, Ralph.
26
00:02:20,321 --> 00:02:22,323
We're fighting because
I asked you a question.
27
00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:25,267
Is that such a crime, Ralph,
me asking you a question?
28
00:02:28,097 --> 00:02:30,477
"Is it such a crime, Ralph,
asking a question?"
29
00:02:30,633 --> 00:02:32,911
Tell her what the question was
30
00:02:33,071 --> 00:02:34,640
All right, I Will.
31
00:02:34,805 --> 00:02:37,980
I told him I wanted to know
where our relationship was going.
32
00:02:38,143 --> 00:02:40,248
That's it! You see that?
You see that?
33
00:02:40,412 --> 00:02:43,792
She wants to know where
the relationship is going.
34
00:02:43,950 --> 00:02:48,763
She has the unmitigated gall to ask
me where the relationship is going.
35
00:02:48,923 --> 00:02:50,595
You want to know where it's going?
36
00:02:50,757 --> 00:02:53,967
You want to know where
the relationship is going.
37
00:02:54,128 --> 00:02:57,042
I'll tell you where it's going.
it's going to the moon.
38
00:03:33,942 --> 00:03:36,320
I slept good last night.
How about you?
39
00:03:36,645 --> 00:03:38,818
Okay. I had this weird dream.
40
00:03:38,981 --> 00:03:41,052
Oh, yeah? What was it about?
41
00:03:41,216 --> 00:03:44,460
-I don't know. it's no big deal.
-Listen, I was thinking...
42
00:03:44,621 --> 00:03:47,124
...maybe I should bring a couple
of my things over here.
43
00:03:47,290 --> 00:03:48,896
You know, just to have.
44
00:03:50,628 --> 00:03:53,508
Not that I mind shaving
with a pink razor, mind you.
45
00:03:53,665 --> 00:03:55,166
What do you think about that?
46
00:03:57,704 --> 00:03:59,307
Funny you should mention that.
47
00:03:59,472 --> 00:04:02,716
I was just thinking maybe
we should knock this whole thing off.
48
00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:15,232
Something tells me
you didn't sleep as well as I did.
49
00:04:15,390 --> 00:04:17,461
I just don't see where
this is going, David...
50
00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:21,005
...where our relationship is going.
Tell me where it's going, David.
51
00:04:21,164 --> 00:04:23,371
What do you mean,
where is our relationship going?
52
00:04:23,533 --> 00:04:25,411
I don't know where.
it's going somewhere.
53
00:04:25,569 --> 00:04:28,551
-I know we got one.
-Well, I don't.
54
00:04:28,805 --> 00:04:31,482
You wanna know where it's going,
that's what the problem is?
55
00:04:31,642 --> 00:04:34,090
Okay, I will tell you where
the relationship is going.
56
00:04:34,247 --> 00:04:35,783
-it's going to be--
-To the moon.
57
00:04:35,948 --> 00:04:37,893
-What?
-I'm sorry.
58
00:04:38,051 --> 00:04:40,189
You were just gonna tell me just
where our relationship is going
59
00:04:40,353 --> 00:04:42,833
Well no, I don't know...
I mean...
60
00:04:43,991 --> 00:04:46,198
I was gonna guess.
61
00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:47,897
I mean--
62
00:04:48,495 --> 00:04:52,069
I mean, I was gonna suggest.
Like this morning, just now.
63
00:04:52,233 --> 00:04:55,738
I said, what about if I bring
a couple things over here?
64
00:04:55,905 --> 00:04:57,907
Now, that's the relationship
going somewhere.
65
00:04:59,875 --> 00:05:02,221
But it is. Look--
66
00:05:03,113 --> 00:05:05,117
For the last three,
three and a half weeks...
67
00:05:05,282 --> 00:05:08,229
...we have had this relationship
that is built around the bedroom.
68
00:05:08,386 --> 00:05:10,367
What if I bring a couple things
over here?
69
00:05:10,522 --> 00:05:13,231
A couple towels, a razor, toothbrush.
70
00:05:13,393 --> 00:05:16,033
Then we got the relationship
moving into the bathroom.
71
00:05:16,196 --> 00:05:18,541
A couple weeks from now
I'll bring a six pack...
72
00:05:18,699 --> 00:05:21,943
...stick it in the fridge, bingo,
now we're downstairs.
73
00:05:22,104 --> 00:05:24,105
Got the relationship moving
into the kitchen.
74
00:05:24,272 --> 00:05:26,308
That's how it works, it takes time.
75
00:05:26,475 --> 00:05:29,615
Soon every room in this house
will be filled with this relationship.
76
00:05:29,779 --> 00:05:32,316
And then you're gonna
have to get a bigger house.
77
00:05:32,949 --> 00:05:34,451
We don't have a relationship.
78
00:05:34,617 --> 00:05:36,528
-Sure, we do.
-No. No, we don't.
79
00:05:36,686 --> 00:05:38,827
We have something else.
it's not a relationship.
80
00:05:38,990 --> 00:05:41,992
It's more like
some sordid foreign movie.
81
00:05:42,459 --> 00:05:46,637
That. That's it. That's all we ever do.
That's the whole thing.
82
00:05:46,799 --> 00:05:48,835
Every day, I wake up,
swear to myself...
83
00:05:49,001 --> 00:05:51,002
...that what happened
won't happen again.
84
00:05:51,170 --> 00:05:54,709
We drive separate cars to work.
We act aloof from each other all day.
85
00:05:54,875 --> 00:05:57,412
We say goodnight at 5:30
86
00:05:57,577 --> 00:06:00,023
...I don't know how it happens,
but we end up together.
87
00:06:00,181 --> 00:06:02,718
Your place, my place, the car.
The walls are different...
88
00:06:02,884 --> 00:06:05,194
...but nothing else is.
This isn't a relationship...
89
00:06:05,353 --> 00:06:07,492
...it's a bad habit.
90
00:06:09,292 --> 00:06:11,362
There's your taxi.
You better hurry up.
91
00:06:11,961 --> 00:06:14,168
Wait a second. That's it?
End of conversation?
92
00:06:14,330 --> 00:06:16,674
-You're just walking out?
-I'm not. This is my house.
93
00:06:16,833 --> 00:06:19,040
I don't mean that.
I mean, we have a relationship.
94
00:06:19,202 --> 00:06:22,116
No, we don't.
A relationship starts small and builds.
95
00:06:22,273 --> 00:06:25,653
Grows. Goes somewhere.
You meet someone. Go out on dates.
96
00:06:25,811 --> 00:06:27,654
You discover you have something
in common.
97
00:06:27,813 --> 00:06:30,590
We've never been on a date.
All we do is thrash at each other.
98
00:06:30,750 --> 00:06:32,196
We're talking primo thrashing.
99
00:06:32,352 --> 00:06:35,163
John Deere doesn't a build machine
that thrashes as good we do.
100
00:06:35,321 --> 00:06:37,394
-Excuse me.
-Okay. All right, look.
101
00:06:37,692 --> 00:06:40,697
I'll admit it. Maybe we have been
doing things out of order here.
102
00:06:40,863 --> 00:06:43,605
We, us, Maddie,
but that's not strange.
103
00:06:43,764 --> 00:06:45,803
Haven't you ever skipped
to the last chapter?
104
00:06:45,968 --> 00:06:47,845
Fast-forwarded past
boring parts of a tape.
105
00:06:48,003 --> 00:06:50,381
Skipped the entree and gone
right to the dessert?
106
00:06:52,475 --> 00:06:55,855
-Just tell me what to do and I will do it.
-I don't know what to do.
107
00:06:56,012 --> 00:06:58,857
I just know I don't
wanna keep doing this.
108
00:07:08,896 --> 00:07:10,203
Blue Moon Detective Agency.
109
00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:13,368
We've been here three years
taking care of your woes.
110
00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:16,208
Finding lost persons
telling unfaithful bows
111
00:07:16,370 --> 00:07:18,680
And I have a birthday
I' m offering a deal
112
00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:21,286
and I solve your murder
we buy you a meal
113
00:07:21,443 --> 00:07:23,821
A night on the town,
just a little gift from us.
114
00:07:23,979 --> 00:07:27,518
When there's murder in your life
give us your business.
115
00:07:28,252 --> 00:07:30,755
You must be 18 or over
to receive free gift.
116
00:07:30,921 --> 00:07:32,525
Murder subject to verification.
117
00:07:32,689 --> 00:07:36,103
Attempted murders, bogus suicides
and deaths by natural causes...
118
00:07:36,261 --> 00:07:38,001
...are all exempted from
this promotion.
119
00:07:38,162 --> 00:07:41,804
Clients found guilty of the murders
we investigate are also excluded.
120
00:07:41,967 --> 00:07:44,174
Void where prohibited bylaw.
121
00:07:44,770 --> 00:07:47,274
Please hold.
Good morning, Miss Hayes.
122
00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:49,420
If you say so.
123
00:08:23,649 --> 00:08:25,424
Come in.
124
00:08:37,900 --> 00:08:39,901
Happy anniversary.
125
00:08:41,705 --> 00:08:45,049
Happy anniversary.
Three years ago today...
126
00:08:45,207 --> 00:08:49,282
...City of Angels Investigations
became Blue Moon Detective Agency.
127
00:08:49,447 --> 00:08:51,654
Oh, goodie.
128
00:08:53,584 --> 00:08:56,690
Miss Hayes, are you all right?
129
00:08:56,855 --> 00:08:58,392
I'm fine.
130
00:09:00,893 --> 00:09:04,705
-Okay.
-Okay.
131
00:09:10,069 --> 00:09:12,983
-Miss Hayes?
-Miss DiPesto.
132
00:09:13,340 --> 00:09:16,322
I know you're worried about me,
but there's nothing to worry about.
133
00:09:16,478 --> 00:09:20,622
I'm just having a small
nervous breakdown, that's all.
134
00:09:21,817 --> 00:09:25,231
And if it's all right with you,
I'd like to do it in private.
135
00:09:25,389 --> 00:09:27,596
-Okay.
-Okay.
136
00:10:00,164 --> 00:10:01,836
Mr. Addi--
137
00:10:02,866 --> 00:10:04,208
Is she in there?
138
00:10:05,135 --> 00:10:06,637
VVhere's her head?
139
00:10:08,039 --> 00:10:10,144
Under some upholstery.
140
00:10:10,542 --> 00:10:13,182
She's acting very strange.
How can you tell?
141
00:10:13,612 --> 00:10:16,115
Is there something going on
between the two of you?
142
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,888
Sometimes yes, sometimes no.
143
00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:21,794
-Wish me luck.
-Mr. Addison?
144
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:25,734
Relax! Going to announce myself.
Hi kids!
145
00:10:27,261 --> 00:10:29,400
These need a little sun.
146
00:10:52,324 --> 00:10:53,565
Those for me?
147
00:10:54,292 --> 00:10:55,704
Hi.
148
00:10:56,463 --> 00:11:00,467
Yeah, I saw them and
they made me think of you.
149
00:11:00,634 --> 00:11:02,012
Thanks.
150
00:11:06,006 --> 00:11:07,385
They're plastic.
151
00:11:08,408 --> 00:11:11,151
Yeah, well, I asked the guy
for low-maintenance flowers.
152
00:11:11,312 --> 00:11:16,354
I understand how busy you are
and what you have on your mind.
153
00:11:16,521 --> 00:11:18,227
Anything else?
154
00:11:18,388 --> 00:11:19,661
That's all I brought you.
155
00:11:19,823 --> 00:11:22,429
No, I mean do you have
anything else to say, or is that it?
156
00:11:22,592 --> 00:11:23,833
No.
157
00:11:25,396 --> 00:11:28,434
Just that you look sad.
You look so sad.
158
00:11:30,603 --> 00:11:32,446
I mean, you look great.
159
00:11:32,906 --> 00:11:36,218
-Just really look sad.
-What can I say? I am sad.
160
00:11:37,377 --> 00:11:38,881
Right.
161
00:11:41,483 --> 00:11:45,191
I don't understand, because I'm
happier than I've ever been in my life.
162
00:11:45,352 --> 00:11:48,857
-Well, I'm happy you're happy.
-I'm sad you're sad.
163
00:11:52,061 --> 00:11:55,009
-Well.
-Well.
164
00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:03,920
Not that all this isn't fair...
Look!
165
00:12:04,076 --> 00:12:05,919
I have to say this to you.
You were right.
166
00:12:06,078 --> 00:12:08,149
There are a lot of things
that are wrong with--
167
00:12:08,314 --> 00:12:10,726
This thing that we're in,
this "relationship".
168
00:12:10,883 --> 00:12:13,295
We don't have a relationship, David,
that's the point.
169
00:12:13,452 --> 00:12:16,491
It's very screwed up, all right?
But it's not all my fault.
170
00:12:17,291 --> 00:12:19,361
A lot of it is my fault,
but it is not all my--
171
00:12:19,527 --> 00:12:21,201
Fault is not the issue here.
172
00:12:21,361 --> 00:12:25,003
Fault is not what this is about.
This is about whether a thing is right...
173
00:12:25,167 --> 00:12:27,237
...between two people,
whether it works, David.
174
00:12:27,402 --> 00:12:28,780
This thing, us, does not work.
175
00:12:28,938 --> 00:12:30,610
-How would you know?
-How would I know?
176
00:12:30,773 --> 00:12:32,615
How would you know?
You weren't there.
177
00:12:32,774 --> 00:12:36,018
-You never gave yourself to this thing.
-Never gave myself to this thing?
178
00:12:36,179 --> 00:12:39,184
Who was lying beside you,
on top of you, underneath you?
179
00:12:39,350 --> 00:12:40,888
-So what?
-So what?!
180
00:12:41,051 --> 00:12:43,795
I've got news for you, pal.
Unlike most of those wishbones...
181
00:12:43,954 --> 00:12:47,459
...you call women that you've known
for most of your life, I don't do that.
182
00:12:47,627 --> 00:12:51,667
Didn't give myself to this thing?
If I gave any more of myself to this...
183
00:12:51,832 --> 00:12:54,643
...I'd be inside out. And what
do you mean, "how do I know?"
184
00:12:54,802 --> 00:12:57,578
How do I know?
I know because I was there, David.
185
00:12:57,740 --> 00:12:59,446
I saw the iceberg hit the Titanic.
186
00:12:59,607 --> 00:13:01,780
I saw the Hindenburg burst
into flames.
187
00:13:01,943 --> 00:13:04,116
|t's a disaster. We're a disaster.
188
00:13:04,279 --> 00:13:06,261
No, no, no. You're a disaster.
I'm euphoric.
189
00:13:06,414 --> 00:13:08,020
-Stop it.
-I'm delirious.
190
00:13:08,184 --> 00:13:09,526
-Stop yelling.
-I'm very happy.
191
00:13:09,685 --> 00:13:11,257
Well, I feel empty inside!
192
00:13:13,658 --> 00:13:15,534
I do.
193
00:13:15,993 --> 00:13:17,869
And I don't know what to do about it.
194
00:13:25,271 --> 00:13:26,840
Well...
195
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:30,914
...I do.
196
00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:33,620
-Let's start over.
-What?
197
00:13:33,982 --> 00:13:37,089
Start over. Go on a date. Talk.
Things you were saying this morning.
198
00:13:37,451 --> 00:13:39,899
The thought of sleeping alone
destroys you, doesn't it?
199
00:13:40,056 --> 00:13:42,468
I don't believe it!
It's not about sleeping with you
200
00:13:42,625 --> 00:13:44,229
I don't want to sleep with you.
201
00:13:45,529 --> 00:13:47,372
OK, I like sleeping with you,
alright?
202
00:13:47,531 --> 00:13:49,373
But if I don't do it, that's okay too.
203
00:13:49,533 --> 00:13:52,013
We're not talking about that.
We're talking about you...
204
00:13:52,169 --> 00:13:54,740
...allowing yourself to be happy
and letting someone know.
205
00:13:54,905 --> 00:13:58,753
You won't let yourself be happy.
You won't commit.
206
00:13:58,944 --> 00:14:02,017
We sleep together in secret.
We show up to work in different cars.
207
00:14:02,182 --> 00:14:04,184
We got more pacts than
the Geneva Convention.
208
00:14:04,351 --> 00:14:07,059
-You're avoiding the issue.
-How come nobody knows about us?
209
00:14:07,220 --> 00:14:09,895
We 've been doing what we 've doing for 4 weeks
and nobody knows about it.
210
00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:13,062
-Who would you like to know?
-I know that office is gossip central.
211
00:14:13,228 --> 00:14:16,699
News flies faster there than on CNN,
and nobody, not even Di Pesto, knows.
212
00:14:16,864 --> 00:14:18,675
-Why should she know?
-Why shouldn't she?
213
00:14:18,835 --> 00:14:20,780
-VVhat's your point?
-I think you're ashamed.
214
00:14:20,937 --> 00:14:23,645
-Or you're embarrassed.
-You want me to go into the office...
215
00:14:23,806 --> 00:14:25,843
...and announce
that we're sleeping together?
216
00:14:27,244 --> 00:14:30,158
-You're nuts.
-I'm happy. I want someone to know.
217
00:14:30,315 --> 00:14:32,352
And I want you to want
someone to know.
218
00:14:32,517 --> 00:14:36,589
-I've had enough of this conversation.
-Fine, I'll just go tell them myself then.
219
00:14:37,155 --> 00:14:38,601
-No, you're not.
-Yes, I am.
220
00:14:38,758 --> 00:14:40,704
-No, you're not.
-Oh, yes, I--
221
00:14:40,860 --> 00:14:42,099
No, you're not.
222
00:14:42,260 --> 00:14:45,640
Yes, I am.
223
00:14:47,867 --> 00:14:49,405
Hey.
224
00:14:53,275 --> 00:14:56,221
Excuse me, everyone,
I have to be...
225
00:14:58,715 --> 00:15:01,093
-...going now.
-Block that door.
226
00:15:04,422 --> 00:15:05,661
Don't you dare.
227
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:07,927
Don't worry,
her bark's worse than her bite.
228
00:15:08,091 --> 00:15:11,164
I 've a little anouncement to make!
A little piece of news.
229
00:15:11,328 --> 00:15:13,740
-Don't do it, David.
-See that lady there?
230
00:15:13,899 --> 00:15:15,345
David.
231
00:15:15,501 --> 00:15:16,808
I think...
232
00:15:17,804 --> 00:15:20,114
...that I have fallen madly...
233
00:15:20,908 --> 00:15:24,787
...and completely head-over-heels
in love with her.
234
00:15:31,921 --> 00:15:33,456
Yeah.
235
00:15:36,392 --> 00:15:37,929
So.
236
00:15:39,462 --> 00:15:42,637
Given that, what do you think?
237
00:15:43,668 --> 00:15:45,807
Maybe me and you
can go out on a date?
238
00:15:45,970 --> 00:15:48,975
Just a regular pick you up at 7:30,
home by 11 :30...
239
00:15:49,141 --> 00:15:51,553
A little food, maybe a movie
240
00:15:51,710 --> 00:15:52,983
I mean ....
241
00:15:54,046 --> 00:15:55,650
You think, maybe?
242
00:16:01,421 --> 00:16:05,769
Yeah. I think maybe, yeah.
243
00:16:08,830 --> 00:16:11,675
Well, I guess I better go now.
244
00:16:45,207 --> 00:16:47,015
Why am I doing this?
245
00:16:47,175 --> 00:16:50,350
Why am I putting myself through this?
I ought to have my head examined.
246
00:16:50,512 --> 00:16:52,389
Well, if you insist.
247
00:16:53,816 --> 00:16:56,388
That's a rather hostile greeting,
wouldn't you say?
248
00:16:56,554 --> 00:16:57,964
-Who are you?
-Me?
249
00:16:58,121 --> 00:17:00,796
Why, I'm Dr. Joyce Brothers,
of course.
250
00:17:00,958 --> 00:17:03,734
Dr. Joyce Brothers.
What are you doing here?
251
00:17:03,894 --> 00:17:06,671
Oh, come now, Maddie.
I'm not really here.
252
00:17:06,831 --> 00:17:09,107
I'm a figment of your imagination.
253
00:17:09,267 --> 00:17:12,875
I exist, or rather my image exists,
because of your own...
254
00:17:13,039 --> 00:17:16,146
...repressed need to discuss
your fears and anxieties.
255
00:17:17,143 --> 00:17:19,954
Well, let's discuss them.
256
00:17:20,113 --> 00:17:22,650
Earlier I heard you ask,
"Why am I doing this?
257
00:17:22,816 --> 00:17:24,991
Why am I putting
myself through this?"
258
00:17:25,154 --> 00:17:27,634
Why do you think you're
doing this, Maddie?
259
00:17:27,791 --> 00:17:30,772
I don't know. If I knew,
I wouldn't ask the question.
260
00:17:30,925 --> 00:17:34,739
Well, do you like David?
Do you like spending time with him?
261
00:17:34,898 --> 00:17:36,139
I don't know.
262
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:39,312
Let's backtrack. Let's assume
you have a relationship...
263
00:17:39,469 --> 00:17:41,678
...the two of you. Want a relationship.
264
00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:44,617
Let's examine what
a relationship means.
265
00:17:44,777 --> 00:17:47,587
Is this the man you want to be with?
266
00:17:47,745 --> 00:17:50,659
-I don't know
-Is this the man you can imagine...
267
00:17:50,816 --> 00:17:53,764
-...spending the rest of your life with?
-I don't know.
268
00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:56,764
Is this the man that you can
have children with?
269
00:17:56,923 --> 00:17:58,165
Have a home with?
270
00:17:58,326 --> 00:18:02,968
A man who can live with. Love with.
Perhaps even die with.
271
00:18:03,131 --> 00:18:06,170
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know.
272
00:18:06,802 --> 00:18:09,750
I sense your discomfort
and your frustration.
273
00:18:09,906 --> 00:18:11,681
Let me take another tack.
274
00:18:11,942 --> 00:18:14,013
What are the two of you like in bed?
275
00:18:14,177 --> 00:18:16,885
Is that a satisfying part
of your relationship?
276
00:18:17,047 --> 00:18:21,395
Are you taking pleasure in it?
Are your needs being fulfilled?
277
00:18:22,020 --> 00:18:26,060
Well, actually,
that's the one thing that is great.
278
00:18:26,426 --> 00:18:29,840
Yeah, I mean, sure, I'm satisfied.
279
00:18:29,995 --> 00:18:32,204
I take pleasure.
280
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:37,579
And my needs, or those needs,
are always fulfilled.
281
00:18:37,739 --> 00:18:40,413
Well, then, I don't get it, girl,
what's the problem?
282
00:18:42,577 --> 00:18:46,082
This is it, David. D-day.
283
00:18:46,815 --> 00:18:49,195
No R&B.
284
00:18:49,651 --> 00:18:52,294
No bodily noises.
285
00:18:52,455 --> 00:18:54,596
No lewd remarks.
286
00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:57,171
You're going to charm
the pantyhose off her.
287
00:18:59,631 --> 00:19:02,613
Stepping out with
the new and improved...
288
00:19:04,002 --> 00:19:08,214
...little more reserved
David Addison.
289
00:19:12,378 --> 00:19:14,189
Loafers.
290
00:19:20,888 --> 00:19:22,129
What you say?
291
00:19:22,291 --> 00:19:24,362
Hit the road, Dave
And don't you come back
292
00:19:24,526 --> 00:19:27,098
No more, no more, no more, no more
293
00:19:27,263 --> 00:19:31,680
Hit the road, Dave
And don't you come back no more
294
00:19:32,335 --> 00:19:34,907
Now, Dave, listen, Dave
Can't believe what you say
295
00:19:35,072 --> 00:19:37,552
You're gonna live
To regret it some day
296
00:19:37,708 --> 00:19:40,020
Don 't care if he does
Because he understand
297
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,888
If he ain't got what it takes
Then he just ain't a man
298
00:19:43,050 --> 00:19:45,326
Well, I guess if you say so
299
00:19:45,486 --> 00:19:47,397
You ought to pack your things
And blow
300
00:19:47,588 --> 00:19:49,396
Thatis right
Hit the road, Dave
301
00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:53,164
And don't you come back
No more, no more, no more, no more
302
00:19:53,328 --> 00:19:56,640
Hit the road, Dave
And don't you come back no more
303
00:19:57,766 --> 00:20:01,772
Don 't you come back no more
Don 't you come back no more
304
00:20:02,904 --> 00:20:06,820
Don 't you come back no more
305
00:20:09,279 --> 00:20:11,759
Hey, Addison, what's all this
trash you talking?
306
00:20:14,585 --> 00:20:17,498
Ray Charles? In my living room?
307
00:20:18,690 --> 00:20:20,431
Why, is that where I am?
308
00:20:21,761 --> 00:20:23,137
What are you doing here, man?
309
00:20:23,296 --> 00:20:27,211
-Talking to some fool.
-Some fool.
310
00:20:27,969 --> 00:20:30,415
-Me, a fool?
-Yeah, you fool.
311
00:20:30,572 --> 00:20:33,075
I can't believe what
a brother is saying.
312
00:20:33,241 --> 00:20:36,018
"Don't make her" this.
"Don't make her" that.
313
00:20:36,179 --> 00:20:41,562
And "l can be her kind of man."
I mean, I'm ashamed of you, son.
314
00:20:42,518 --> 00:20:44,294
-Ashamed of me, Ray?
-Ashamed.
315
00:20:44,455 --> 00:20:46,594
Ashamed for you...
316
00:20:46,757 --> 00:20:49,796
...and for all of us who don't have
to put the toilet seat down.
317
00:20:50,594 --> 00:20:52,598
Oooooooooooooohhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
318
00:20:52,765 --> 00:20:54,904
I was just trying to make
a good impression.
319
00:20:55,067 --> 00:20:56,841
Good impression, hell.
320
00:21:00,406 --> 00:21:06,723
David, oh are you happy David???
321
00:21:09,217 --> 00:21:11,892
The poor boy's done lost his head
322
00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:17,167
Lost his head
323
00:21:17,327 --> 00:21:21,401
Just to get that girl, I believe
324
00:21:22,765 --> 00:21:26,236
He 'd turn over and play dead
325
00:21:27,671 --> 00:21:30,675
And play dead
326
00:21:30,842 --> 00:21:33,288
Hold! Hold! Hold! Hold it!
I play what?
327
00:21:33,445 --> 00:21:35,427
Play dead?
328
00:21:35,582 --> 00:21:38,790
Look, Ray, I'm a big fan and all
but I ain't gotta listen to this, man.
329
00:21:39,285 --> 00:21:40,788
You know what I'm talking about.
330
00:21:40,955 --> 00:21:43,093
No, I don't.
And I ain't playing nothing.
331
00:21:43,258 --> 00:21:46,763
-And I'm in control.
-Control? Excuse me.
332
00:21:46,927 --> 00:21:49,000
I'm the kind of guy that knows
what he wants...
333
00:21:49,164 --> 00:21:51,040
...and knows what
he's gotta do to get it.
334
00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:54,774
-Oh, yeah, what's that?
-The right thing for once.
335
00:21:56,105 --> 00:21:59,986
I'm gonna do what I want for me.
336
00:22:00,745 --> 00:22:03,625
-For us.
-For us?
337
00:22:03,780 --> 00:22:08,060
-Hey, girls, I think he's got that sound.
-Wait, hold it, hold it. What sound?
338
00:22:08,220 --> 00:22:12,258
Sound like the man has already
given the girl his car keys...
339
00:22:12,423 --> 00:22:14,427
-Car keys.
-...his checkbook...
340
00:22:14,594 --> 00:22:16,699
...his remote control.
341
00:22:16,863 --> 00:22:18,865
Sounds like, just to make
a little whoopee...
342
00:22:19,032 --> 00:22:21,239
-Whoopee.
-...he's willing to be married alive.
343
00:22:22,403 --> 00:22:24,542
Hey! Wait a minute!
Wait a second!
344
00:22:24,705 --> 00:22:27,619
VVho's talking about marriage?
You hear me talking about marriage?
345
00:22:27,776 --> 00:22:30,279
-Forget marriage, man.
-Marriage is not all that bad.
346
00:22:30,445 --> 00:22:33,017
As a matter of fact,
that's not even the bad part.
347
00:22:33,549 --> 00:22:35,961
-What is?
-The trade.
348
00:22:36,119 --> 00:22:38,497
-The trade?
-The trade.
349
00:22:38,655 --> 00:22:42,035
You know,
whatever you're willing to give up.
350
00:22:42,594 --> 00:22:45,599
Once you fix a tomcat,
you can't unfix him.
351
00:22:45,764 --> 00:22:49,267
You're way off, Ray,
you're not even close.
352
00:22:49,434 --> 00:22:52,882
Look, just because a man's willing
to shave a little style off his program...
353
00:22:53,039 --> 00:22:55,018
...don't mean anything else
is cut off.
354
00:22:55,174 --> 00:22:57,519
-Oh, my, did you hear that?
-I don't know about that.
355
00:22:57,677 --> 00:23:00,556
It don't sound like the
Dave Addison I know, does it, girls?
356
00:23:00,714 --> 00:23:01,955
-No.
-No.
357
00:23:02,117 --> 00:23:03,959
The Dave Addison I know
would tell her:
358
00:23:04,118 --> 00:23:06,725
"Hey, you gonna get down with me
nice and dirty...
359
00:23:06,888 --> 00:23:09,368
-...or you don't get down at all."
-Yeah. That's right.
360
00:23:09,524 --> 00:23:11,435
The David Addison I know
Would say
361
00:23:11,593 --> 00:23:15,737
"Hey, if it ain't good to you today, just
wait until tomorrow." Ain't that right?
362
00:23:17,333 --> 00:23:19,508
The David Addison I know
Would say
363
00:23:19,671 --> 00:23:25,552
Come on and treat me wrong
Come and love me all night long
364
00:23:27,647 --> 00:23:30,025
Tell me what'd I say, baby
365
00:23:39,793 --> 00:23:42,002
Yeah, baby
366
00:23:42,462 --> 00:23:43,875
An right
367
00:23:44,333 --> 00:23:45,777
I know you, baby
368
00:23:46,168 --> 00:23:48,044
Just won't do
369
00:23:48,470 --> 00:23:51,850
Come on, do it right, girl
Said you're doing it right
370
00:23:52,542 --> 00:23:55,615
But it's all right
Say it's all right
371
00:23:56,846 --> 00:23:58,327
An right
372
00:23:58,784 --> 00:24:02,060
Any way you do
It's all right, baby
373
00:24:03,021 --> 00:24:04,524
Say it's all right
374
00:24:43,903 --> 00:24:45,576
I don't know
why I'm so damn nervous.
375
00:24:45,739 --> 00:24:47,649
Are you nervous?
376
00:24:48,441 --> 00:24:49,682
Yeah, I'm nervous.
377
00:24:49,842 --> 00:24:51,687
-You're nervous?
-Yes, I'm nervous.
378
00:24:52,079 --> 00:24:54,686
I kind of like that, you nervous.
379
00:24:55,348 --> 00:24:59,856
-You're not nervous?
-Nervous? No, I'm something else.
380
00:25:00,823 --> 00:25:02,496
-What?
-What what?
381
00:25:03,226 --> 00:25:04,533
What "what" are you?
382
00:25:05,763 --> 00:25:07,867
You don't want to know
what "what" I am.
383
00:25:08,031 --> 00:25:11,012
-I told you I was nervous, didn't I?
-And I told you I wasn't.
384
00:25:11,168 --> 00:25:13,341
Yeah, but you didn't say
what you are.
385
00:25:17,209 --> 00:25:18,881
So what are you?
386
00:25:20,279 --> 00:25:22,384
No, it would only
make you more nervous.
387
00:25:22,548 --> 00:25:25,257
It ain't gonna make me
any more nervous than that.
388
00:25:26,053 --> 00:25:30,023
-Okay, you want to know what I am?
-Yes, I want to know what you are.
389
00:25:31,925 --> 00:25:33,064
I'm ambivalent.
390
00:25:33,594 --> 00:25:35,369
-Ambivalent?
-Ambivalent.
391
00:25:35,530 --> 00:25:37,567
Okay? There you go.
392
00:25:37,732 --> 00:25:41,078
I feel very ambivalent about this.
I'm filled with ambivalence.
393
00:25:41,236 --> 00:25:44,946
I'm not saying this to hurt you,
but I just am. I am ambivalent.
394
00:25:45,376 --> 00:25:46,479
Feel better?
395
00:25:49,212 --> 00:25:52,592
-You do know what--
-I know what "ambivalence" means.
396
00:25:52,750 --> 00:25:54,322
-And?
-And?
397
00:25:54,485 --> 00:25:58,559
And knowing I feel this way, how does
that make you feel about this date?
398
00:25:58,724 --> 00:26:00,862
I feel fine about this date.
399
00:26:01,027 --> 00:26:05,101
I feel kind of ambivalent
about your ambivalence.
400
00:26:05,265 --> 00:26:07,006
-Ambivalent?
-Kind of.
401
00:26:07,167 --> 00:26:08,702
Kind of?
What do you mean kind of?
402
00:26:12,707 --> 00:26:15,017
-I don't want to do this.
-Excuse me?
403
00:26:15,176 --> 00:26:18,283
-I don't want to do this.
-Wait a minute, do what?
404
00:26:18,447 --> 00:26:20,188
Wiki
405
00:26:20,349 --> 00:26:23,262
"l don't want to do this"'?
Is "this" this date?
406
00:26:23,453 --> 00:26:26,195
"This" means this conversation.
I don't wanna have this conversation.
407
00:26:26,356 --> 00:26:28,358
Why not? This is ... conversation to have
408
00:26:28,525 --> 00:26:30,473
There's no reason to
be ambivalent about it.
409
00:26:30,629 --> 00:26:32,266
-Well, I am.
-Why?
410
00:26:32,431 --> 00:26:34,171
-Because.
-Because why?
411
00:26:35,467 --> 00:26:37,777
-Because I know how it's gonna go.
-You do?
412
00:26:37,936 --> 00:26:40,850
I do. You're gonna say something,
then I'm gonna say something...
413
00:26:41,007 --> 00:26:44,387
...then you're gonna get mad.
I promised I wouldn't get you mad.
414
00:26:44,545 --> 00:26:47,254
-I'm not gonna get mad.
-That's how these conversations work.
415
00:26:47,415 --> 00:26:50,659
They're a test and I always fail.
I don't want to fail but I do.
416
00:26:50,818 --> 00:26:54,562
-I say something, then you get mad.
-I'm not gonna get mad.
417
00:26:54,723 --> 00:26:57,534
It's always a test with you.
You're waiting for me to screw up.
418
00:26:57,693 --> 00:27:01,141
I'm not stepping into it. I'm not. I won't.
This date means too much to me...
419
00:27:01,298 --> 00:27:04,678
...and we both know that this date is
a test, it's a trap, it's a setup.
420
00:27:04,834 --> 00:27:08,078
You're sitting over there waiting
for me to screw up, aren't you?
421
00:27:10,142 --> 00:27:12,748
Wait a minute, where are you going?
What about our date?
422
00:27:26,060 --> 00:27:27,698
Life's a bitch.
423
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:38,713
Maddie.
424
00:27:41,212 --> 00:27:44,954
Can't help thinking that somehow that
didn't come out the way I meant it.
425
00:27:52,024 --> 00:27:54,163
Yo, Maddie.
426
00:28:01,401 --> 00:28:02,938
Maddie, what about our date?
427
00:28:03,104 --> 00:28:05,311
Go away.
428
00:28:05,773 --> 00:28:07,446
Go away?
429
00:28:07,742 --> 00:28:10,849
Go away? You don't really want me to go away!
Do you?
430
00:28:11,013 --> 00:28:13,893
it's gonna make it
awful hard to hold hands.
431
00:28:14,084 --> 00:28:16,360
It's gonna make it
very tough to neck.
432
00:28:16,519 --> 00:28:20,195
It's gonna make it impossible
for me to give you a hickey.
433
00:28:20,358 --> 00:28:22,304
You don't really want me to
go away, do you?
434
00:28:22,460 --> 00:28:25,442
Yes, I do.
I want you to go away.
435
00:28:26,430 --> 00:28:29,003
Well, I don't mind telling you...
436
00:28:29,166 --> 00:28:32,843
...that me and my dating-game
chaperone are a little miffed.
437
00:28:33,940 --> 00:28:37,218
Put out. Cut to the quick.
438
00:28:39,213 --> 00:28:42,127
Come on, Maddie,
this is the cute stuff.
439
00:28:45,521 --> 00:28:48,628
Maddie, come on.
I know you're in there.
440
00:28:48,792 --> 00:28:50,395
Come on out.
441
00:28:53,263 --> 00:28:54,605
Okay, fine.
442
00:28:54,764 --> 00:28:58,008
You don't wanna come out? It's fine.
443
00:28:58,168 --> 00:29:01,343
...cos I'm not gonna stand here
all night begging you to come out.
444
00:29:01,506 --> 00:29:03,645
No sirree, Bob.
445
00:29:03,808 --> 00:29:08,281
I mean, sure, I wanted to give
this date thing a try.
446
00:29:08,448 --> 00:29:10,758
Wanted to see if we could
work it out.
447
00:29:11,617 --> 00:29:14,156
But if you're not gonna
even come out here...
448
00:29:14,319 --> 00:29:17,301
...I'm not gonna stand out here
begging all night.
449
00:29:21,530 --> 00:29:23,270
So I'm going.
450
00:29:25,734 --> 00:29:28,806
Goodbye, Maddie.
This is it. I'm leaving.
451
00:29:28,970 --> 00:29:30,713
Goodbye.
452
00:29:36,548 --> 00:29:39,462
Hey what the...?
Hey pal what do you get...?
453
00:29:39,616 --> 00:29:42,392
Get out of there. What are you doing
hiding in those bushes?
454
00:29:42,553 --> 00:29:46,230
Oh, my God, is that a knife?
It is a knife.
455
00:29:46,392 --> 00:29:48,463
It's a big knife.
456
00:29:49,563 --> 00:29:50,870
No way, man.
457
00:29:51,030 --> 00:29:53,636
No way you're gonna get in this house
and Ginsu that woman.
458
00:29:53,799 --> 00:29:55,371
Not over my dead body.
459
00:29:55,536 --> 00:29:56,946
What the--?
460
00:29:59,306 --> 00:30:00,844
Yeah, well, here, take that.
461
00:30:01,009 --> 00:30:03,114
And that! And here's some for your head!
462
00:30:04,681 --> 00:30:06,524
Oh, God.
463
00:30:08,150 --> 00:30:10,927
Wow! Maddy stay in the house!
464
00:30:11,287 --> 00:30:13,563
Okay, not my eye.
465
00:30:26,305 --> 00:30:29,287
I guess you never messed
with a detective before, huh?
466
00:30:29,443 --> 00:30:33,482
Maddie, don't open the door.
Just stay in the house.
467
00:30:33,647 --> 00:30:36,423
Just stay in the house.
We got a dangerous criminal out here.
468
00:30:36,583 --> 00:30:39,030
I got him immobilized right now,
but he's--
469
00:30:39,187 --> 00:30:40,667
He still could be dangerous.
470
00:30:40,823 --> 00:30:45,033
Just stay in the house, call the police.
I'll just stay out here with this guy.
471
00:30:45,194 --> 00:30:48,074
Hey, wait a minute.
472
00:30:48,231 --> 00:30:49,937
VVhat's that?
473
00:30:50,099 --> 00:30:52,671
Oh, my God, he's bleeding
from the back of the head.
474
00:30:52,836 --> 00:30:54,909
Hang on, she's coming right out.
Maddie...
475
00:30:55,073 --> 00:30:58,645
...come on, looking like a
Sam Peckinpah movie out here.
476
00:31:00,212 --> 00:31:01,349
Maddie, come on--
477
00:31:01,513 --> 00:31:03,654
Hang on there pal! She's not gonna let a man die
478
00:31:03,817 --> 00:31:06,297
Maddie, will you come on?
479
00:31:07,587 --> 00:31:10,762
Maddie, the man is-- Last rites?
480
00:31:10,925 --> 00:31:14,169
I don't know how to give last rites.
Besides, you don't need last rites.
481
00:31:14,329 --> 00:31:16,400
She'll come through that door
any minute now...
482
00:31:16,565 --> 00:31:18,977
...with Ace bandages and Bactine.
483
00:31:19,735 --> 00:31:22,876
Maddie, come on, come on,
we're losing him.
484
00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:25,247
But I'm not a priest!
485
00:31:26,311 --> 00:31:29,621
All right, all right, here I go.
486
00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:34,662
Now l lay me down to sleep,
I pray the lord, my soul to kee--
487
00:31:34,952 --> 00:31:36,524
Oh, no.
488
00:31:36,889 --> 00:31:38,596
Oh, no, Maddie.
489
00:31:38,757 --> 00:31:44,367
Oh, no. No, no, no.
490
00:31:44,531 --> 00:31:46,568
Maddie, he's dying.
491
00:31:47,434 --> 00:31:49,813
He's dying, Maddie.
492
00:31:49,971 --> 00:31:53,215
Come on out and take a look,
and let me know if he's dying.
493
00:31:56,746 --> 00:31:58,656
Maddie, you coming?
494
00:31:59,716 --> 00:32:03,128
Look, forget about that. You
don't wanna see a dead body anyway.
495
00:32:03,286 --> 00:32:04,857
Look, just...
496
00:32:05,022 --> 00:32:06,968
...come on down here,
cover your eyes...
497
00:32:07,124 --> 00:32:09,730
...and step over the body,
and show me where the hose is...
498
00:32:09,893 --> 00:32:12,875
...so I can rinse this
blood and brains off here.
499
00:32:15,735 --> 00:32:17,270
Maddie?
500
00:32:21,842 --> 00:32:24,516
Okay. Fine.
501
00:32:24,679 --> 00:32:26,351
You're not coming out? Fine.
502
00:32:26,513 --> 00:32:27,959
Great. That's just great.
503
00:32:28,117 --> 00:32:30,461
You got a dead man
out here on your porch...
504
00:32:30,619 --> 00:32:33,726
...and you will not even come out
and take a look at him.
505
00:32:33,890 --> 00:32:36,393
How am I gonna tell you honey?
That's cold.
506
00:32:36,559 --> 00:32:39,698
That is very, very cold.
507
00:32:39,862 --> 00:32:42,901
Not as cold as this guy here,
but that is cold.
508
00:32:43,266 --> 00:32:44,803
All right.
509
00:32:46,937 --> 00:32:49,076
I guess I'll just have to
take care of it myself.
510
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:51,186
I'll just drag this guy
down to the curb...
511
00:32:51,342 --> 00:32:53,983
...and leave him there for
the garbage man, how's that?
512
00:32:54,513 --> 00:32:56,493
That make you happy?
513
00:33:08,730 --> 00:33:13,839
Forget it. Forget you,
forget me, forget this.
514
00:33:17,273 --> 00:33:20,483
So where's this guy?
515
00:33:26,985 --> 00:33:30,024
Yeah, that was just
a superficial flesh wound.
516
00:33:30,190 --> 00:33:32,192
He's down the street
robbing some other house.
517
00:33:34,728 --> 00:33:37,732
So if we went on this date,
where would we go?
518
00:33:37,898 --> 00:33:39,308
Where?
519
00:33:40,368 --> 00:33:42,244
Anywhere.
Where would you like to go?
520
00:33:42,403 --> 00:33:44,213
I don't know.
I 'm not even sure I want to go.
521
00:33:44,371 --> 00:33:45,977
Movie? Want to go to the movies?
522
00:33:46,141 --> 00:33:48,143
It's after 9:00, everything's started.
523
00:33:48,310 --> 00:33:50,221
Dinner? Go get some din-din.
524
00:33:50,379 --> 00:33:53,223
It's a weeknight and it's late
and we don't have a reservation.
525
00:33:53,816 --> 00:33:56,160
Bowling alley, pool hall,
a bar, anywhere.
526
00:33:56,319 --> 00:33:58,595
-Something's bound to be--
-No bars. Lord, no bars.
527
00:33:58,755 --> 00:34:02,226
-Just come with me. No bars.
-No bars. Not with you. No bars.
528
00:34:02,393 --> 00:34:05,671
No bars. Of course not.
Hate them. No bars.
529
00:34:07,065 --> 00:34:08,602
I'll get my bag.
530
00:34:08,768 --> 00:34:10,577
Get your bag.
531
00:34:10,736 --> 00:34:13,182
I'll wait here.
532
00:34:13,940 --> 00:34:15,748
Guard the door.
533
00:34:16,109 --> 00:34:17,646
In case that guy comes back.
534
00:34:20,314 --> 00:34:23,626
See? I told you we'd find something.
Come on.
535
00:34:29,958 --> 00:34:31,997
-Pretty neat, huh?
-No doubt about it.
536
00:34:32,895 --> 00:34:35,376
-Definitely worth the wait.
-What are you talking about?
537
00:34:35,532 --> 00:34:37,240
This place is a Shangri-Ia.
538
00:34:37,401 --> 00:34:41,008
Look at that sign, open 24 hours.
Got some gourmet food here...
539
00:34:41,172 --> 00:34:44,211
...refreshing soft drinks. Pay phone
in case you wanna make a call.
540
00:34:44,376 --> 00:34:48,325
All the heat you need, and in case
we do anything that makes us dirty...
541
00:34:48,481 --> 00:34:51,486
...we can tidy up right here.
This is better than a Hilton.
542
00:34:51,652 --> 00:34:53,563
-You spoil me.
-You don't like it.
543
00:34:53,720 --> 00:34:55,198
Don't be ridiculous.
544
00:34:55,354 --> 00:34:57,664
All my life I've been wanting
to come here.
545
00:34:57,825 --> 00:35:00,137
And to think, we have
the whole place to ourselves.
546
00:35:03,297 --> 00:35:04,436
I'm sorry.
547
00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:07,581
I know how important this is to you
and I'm not helping much, am I?
548
00:35:11,141 --> 00:35:13,782
Don't shrug.
There's nothing to shrug about.
549
00:35:13,945 --> 00:35:15,891
For once, you really tried to be nice.
550
00:35:16,047 --> 00:35:18,186
...and I'm being
what you would call a "bitch."
551
00:35:19,751 --> 00:35:22,596
Surprise, surprise, what can I say?
I'm not a very nice person.
552
00:35:22,753 --> 00:35:25,031
I mean, I have my moments, but ....
553
00:35:28,694 --> 00:35:31,176
Now's when you're
supposed to jump in and say...
554
00:35:31,330 --> 00:35:33,243
...that I'm really not a bitch...
555
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:35,505
and I'm one of the nicest people you 've ever met
556
00:35:35,669 --> 00:35:38,172
I can't. You're not.
557
00:35:38,340 --> 00:35:42,016
Brutal honesty and a lack of tact.
I like that in my failed relationships.
558
00:35:42,178 --> 00:35:43,987
Now, you see, that's funny.
That's sharp.
559
00:35:44,146 --> 00:35:46,717
Do you ever get that funny
or that sharp with anyone else?
560
00:35:46,883 --> 00:35:49,831
-No, I don't think so.
-You're right. We should stay together.
561
00:35:49,987 --> 00:35:52,935
We have to stay together.
I mean, think of the banter.
562
00:35:53,091 --> 00:35:56,663
You're kidding and I'm serious.
Don't you get it?
563
00:35:56,827 --> 00:35:59,002
I don't get any better
than when I'm with you...
564
00:35:59,164 --> 00:36:01,735
...and you don't get any better
than when you're with me.
565
00:36:01,902 --> 00:36:03,403
If this is as good as life gets--
566
00:36:03,569 --> 00:36:07,347
I'm not saying this is as good
as life gets, what I'm saying is ....
567
00:36:08,207 --> 00:36:11,451
I dont know what I 'm saying.
I 'm saying that...
568
00:36:11,611 --> 00:36:16,219
...you know my garbage,
good and bad...
569
00:36:16,383 --> 00:36:19,729
...and I know yours.
I knew it the minute I met you.
570
00:36:20,155 --> 00:36:22,294
And I knew you read me
the minute you met me.
571
00:36:22,457 --> 00:36:24,564
-That I did.
-Well, that's the point.
572
00:36:24,726 --> 00:36:27,140
Nobody reads me.
Nobody gets to me.
573
00:36:27,298 --> 00:36:29,005
And you ....
574
00:36:30,201 --> 00:36:33,613
You're about as cool as they come.
But you can't deny it, Maddie...
575
00:36:33,771 --> 00:36:36,753
...you got a bad case of me,
and I got a bad case of you...
576
00:36:36,908 --> 00:36:39,821
and I never had a bad case of anyone...
577
00:36:39,978 --> 00:36:41,821
What makes you think
I have a case of you?
578
00:36:41,980 --> 00:36:44,962
Because you're here
in a Laundromat...
579
00:36:45,451 --> 00:36:47,453
...at 2:00 in the morning.
VVho's kidding who?
580
00:36:47,620 --> 00:36:49,932
If you weren't interested
in what I had to say...
581
00:36:50,089 --> 00:36:53,629
...you'd be out that door, climbing in
your car, and cruising home.
582
00:36:55,762 --> 00:36:57,903
Excuse me!
Where are you going?
583
00:36:58,067 --> 00:37:00,912
I'm walking out the door, climbing in
my car, and cruising home.
584
00:37:01,071 --> 00:37:04,483
You were right the first time.
You are a bitch.
585
00:37:05,175 --> 00:37:07,348
Right, and what are you?
At least I'm honest.
586
00:37:07,510 --> 00:37:10,457
At least I can look you in the eye
and say, "Fine this is great.
587
00:37:10,615 --> 00:37:11,959
This is wonderful."
588
00:37:12,117 --> 00:37:16,259
But this is too much work for me.
This is too hard.
589
00:37:16,421 --> 00:37:21,131
Every moment, every second, every
word, every breath is like some test.
590
00:37:21,794 --> 00:37:24,832
If this is love, it's too hard.
If this is love, I'll live without it.
591
00:37:24,998 --> 00:37:27,536
-Then that's it.
-That's it. I'm numb, David. I'm raw.
592
00:37:27,701 --> 00:37:31,013
You love this kind of friction.
I can't live with this.
593
00:37:31,172 --> 00:37:33,448
Yeah, fine, I love you.
594
00:37:33,608 --> 00:37:36,886
So one more big surprise.
But it hurts too much...
595
00:37:37,046 --> 00:37:40,085
...it tears too much. I just can't do this.
I'm just not up to this.
596
00:37:40,250 --> 00:37:42,958
-You underestimate yourself.
-No, I don't. I know myself.
597
00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:47,729
I know my limits. I'm dead on, David,
and this-- You are beyond my limits.
598
00:37:48,292 --> 00:37:52,034
This relationship. This thing we have.
Whatever you wanna call it...
599
00:37:52,196 --> 00:37:55,040
...it only has two temperatures,
white hot or icy cold.
600
00:37:55,199 --> 00:37:56,737
I can't function that way.
601
00:37:56,903 --> 00:37:59,645
I need some middle.
And the few there is no middle.
602
00:37:59,806 --> 00:38:03,084
I know what it's like to be in a
Laundromat with you at 2 a.m.
603
00:38:03,242 --> 00:38:06,156
I know what it's like to be
in bed with you for 14 hours.
604
00:38:06,312 --> 00:38:10,490
What I don't know is what's it's like
to go into a coffee shop at noon...
605
00:38:10,652 --> 00:38:15,123
...and order cheeseburgers, or what it's
like to go to a store together and buy...
606
00:38:15,290 --> 00:38:17,793
-...I don't know, something.
-You want cheeseburgers...
607
00:38:17,959 --> 00:38:21,066
...I'll take you out and get burgers.
You want to go buy something--
608
00:38:21,230 --> 00:38:22,643
-I understand.
-No, you don't.
609
00:38:24,735 --> 00:38:28,547
This is me telling you it's over.
It's over David. Period.
610
00:38:29,507 --> 00:38:32,044
I'll sell the agency,
you'll find a new job.
611
00:38:33,312 --> 00:38:37,886
It's important for my mental health
that we get out of each other's lives.
612
00:38:47,596 --> 00:38:48,972
Say something.
613
00:38:52,301 --> 00:38:53,406
Please?
614
00:38:57,574 --> 00:38:58,781
I hate Muzak.
615
00:38:59,210 --> 00:39:01,884
Don't go!
I have to go!
616
00:39:02,312 --> 00:39:03,917
Dance with me.
617
00:39:04,316 --> 00:39:06,922
You 've used all that line with me before David,
it's not gonna work.
618
00:39:07,085 --> 00:39:10,124
It always works. Has to work.
619
00:39:11,890 --> 00:39:13,428
Okay, so it doesn't work.
620
00:39:13,592 --> 00:39:18,304
So, what, this is the end?
This is goodbye?
621
00:39:18,465 --> 00:39:22,811
Not even a goodbye dance?
Got music.
622
00:39:25,673 --> 00:39:27,415
Got mood.
623
00:39:28,176 --> 00:39:29,554
Come on.
624
00:39:30,378 --> 00:39:34,418
It's the end of the summer,
our last night together...
625
00:39:34,584 --> 00:39:36,756
...told each other
how much we love each other...
626
00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:39,764
...but we decided to go
to different colleges anyway.
627
00:39:39,923 --> 00:39:41,664
We gotta dance.
628
00:39:55,309 --> 00:39:58,119
-I hate you, David.
-Yeah?
629
00:39:58,678 --> 00:40:01,092
Already played that scene too.
630
00:40:02,316 --> 00:40:04,296
If you could do anything,
what would you do?
631
00:40:04,451 --> 00:40:06,558
-End it.
-Second choice.
632
00:40:06,722 --> 00:40:09,636
I don't know.
Go to some European country.
633
00:40:09,791 --> 00:40:12,399
Run and hide. Hide under a bed.
634
00:40:13,462 --> 00:40:17,810
Think. I want to be sure.
I'm not sure of anything.
635
00:40:19,036 --> 00:40:21,984
Not even about ending it.
636
00:40:22,140 --> 00:40:24,142
Well, then, let's not end it.
637
00:40:24,309 --> 00:40:26,119
I love you, Maddie.
638
00:40:28,547 --> 00:40:32,019
-I love you, David.
-Well, then, let's keep trying.
639
00:40:33,220 --> 00:40:35,860
I can't dance to this.
640
00:40:42,497 --> 00:40:44,271
Want a ride home?
641
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:47,641
You wanna be alone, don't you?
642
00:40:49,104 --> 00:40:51,211
No, I'll just take a cab.
643
00:41:00,484 --> 00:41:03,126
I'm sorry,
I know you want an answer.
644
00:41:03,287 --> 00:41:04,426
I can't give you one.
645
00:41:07,460 --> 00:41:10,499
I need to think. I'm a thinker, David.
646
00:41:10,831 --> 00:41:12,104
Okay.
647
00:41:16,337 --> 00:41:18,840
-I don't know what's gonna happen!
-OK
648
00:41:25,348 --> 00:41:27,851
You're not gonna dance here
with anyone else, are you?
649
00:41:31,955 --> 00:41:33,526
Better not.
650
00:42:10,833 --> 00:42:13,042
That's it. You see that?
You see that?
651
00:42:13,204 --> 00:42:16,674
She wants to know where
the relationship is going.
652
00:42:16,841 --> 00:42:20,221
She, has made a go, to ask me...
653
00:42:20,379 --> 00:42:23,326
...where the relationship is going...
654
00:42:23,483 --> 00:42:26,761
You want to know
where the relationship is going?
655
00:42:26,921 --> 00:42:29,731
I'll tell you where it's going.
it's going to the moon!
656
00:42:29,890 --> 00:42:31,870
Fine, Ralph,
you wanna be angry, be angry.
657
00:42:32,026 --> 00:42:33,835
But I'm not gonna stay
and be angry.
658
00:42:33,995 --> 00:42:36,475
Trixie, mind if I stay
at your place tonight?
659
00:42:36,630 --> 00:42:38,871
-Fine Alice.
-Wait a second, wait a second...
660
00:42:39,033 --> 00:42:42,015
...you think I'm just gonna let you
waltz out of here like that?
661
00:42:42,170 --> 00:42:44,514
You walk out of that door
over my dead body.
662
00:42:44,974 --> 00:42:46,955
Fine, Ralph. You're right.
663
00:42:47,112 --> 00:42:49,113
I can't walk out of here
over your dead body.
664
00:42:49,280 --> 00:42:51,452
I'd have to fly out.
665
00:42:54,419 --> 00:42:58,061
Lady. Lady, we're here.
666
00:43:00,794 --> 00:43:03,206
You want me to get your bags?
667
00:43:03,363 --> 00:43:05,274
Yes, please.
668
00:43:06,999 --> 00:43:09,482
-Can I help you?
-I'd like to go to a foreign country...
669
00:43:09,638 --> 00:43:10,707
...hide under a bed.
670
00:43:12,141 --> 00:43:14,121
It's OK.
I never carry a passport with me.
671
00:43:14,276 --> 00:43:15,879
Do you have
a schedule for domestic flights?
672
00:43:16,044 --> 00:43:18,285
You walk out of that door
over my dead body.
673
00:43:18,714 --> 00:43:20,753
Fine, Ralph. You're right.
674
00:43:20,918 --> 00:43:22,919
I can't walk out of here
over your dead body.
675
00:43:23,087 --> 00:43:25,431
I'd have to fly out.
676
00:43:29,592 --> 00:43:34,601
Oh, just once.
Just once...right in the kisser.
677
00:43:35,132 --> 00:43:36,943
You got a real problem here,
Ralphie boy.
678
00:43:37,103 --> 00:43:38,980
You said it, pal of mine.
679
00:43:39,138 --> 00:43:42,279
"Where is the relationship going?"
What kind of question is that?
680
00:43:42,443 --> 00:43:45,721
Anybody takes one look around,
you can see where it's going.
681
00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:47,586
Yeah, the Museum of Natural History.
682
00:43:49,917 --> 00:43:52,364
I got a great place here, Norton.
I got a great job.
683
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:55,126
I'm in the fast track.
Anybody can see that.
684
00:43:55,290 --> 00:43:58,204
I can see that.
Maybe that's not what she means.
685
00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:00,670
What do you mean,
"maybe that's not what she means"'?
686
00:44:00,830 --> 00:44:02,971
-What do you think she means?
-I don't know.
687
00:44:03,134 --> 00:44:05,843
Maybe all this material wealth
you got here ain't the issue.
688
00:44:06,004 --> 00:44:07,277
-Oh, no?
-No.
689
00:44:07,438 --> 00:44:11,887
Maybe Alice is talking about
something that's a little more spiritual.
690
00:44:12,043 --> 00:44:14,389
-Spiritual?
-Yeah.
691
00:44:14,545 --> 00:44:17,652
You know, we got a saying
in the sewers, Ralphie:
692
00:44:17,816 --> 00:44:19,695
"Still waters don't
necessarily run deep."
693
00:44:19,854 --> 00:44:23,893
Will you stop with that?
You gotta help me here, Norton.
694
00:44:24,058 --> 00:44:26,698
She wants to know where it's going.
I don't know where.
695
00:44:26,861 --> 00:44:29,068
-I don't know what to tell her.
-Sure, you do.
696
00:44:29,230 --> 00:44:31,403
-Just tell her the truth.
-Tell her the truth.
697
00:44:31,565 --> 00:44:32,875
How am I gonna do that?
698
00:44:33,035 --> 00:44:35,709
I never spend time
thinking about where it's going.
699
00:44:35,872 --> 00:44:38,649
Let me show you
700
00:44:38,809 --> 00:44:41,517
-You be you. I'll be Alice.
-What do you mean?
701
00:44:41,980 --> 00:44:45,791
Just what I said.
You're Ralph. I'm Alice.
702
00:44:58,031 --> 00:45:00,170
Will you come on?
703
00:45:02,003 --> 00:45:04,210
You space cadet.
704
00:45:04,606 --> 00:45:07,984
Okay, okay. You're Alice, I'm me.
705
00:45:10,146 --> 00:45:11,624
Alice...
706
00:45:12,114 --> 00:45:15,996
...this is where
I think the relationship's going.
707
00:45:16,153 --> 00:45:19,531
I think it's going forward.
708
00:45:19,689 --> 00:45:23,228
I like to think of this relationship
like it's a big city bus.
709
00:45:23,394 --> 00:45:26,809
A big, big city bus
and I'm the driver, see?
710
00:45:26,966 --> 00:45:32,645
I kind of sit up there,
right in front, kind of steer things.
711
00:45:33,073 --> 00:45:34,677
-You're sitting up front?
-Up front.
712
00:45:34,841 --> 00:45:36,581
-And where do I sit?
-Anywhere you want.
713
00:45:36,742 --> 00:45:38,121
-Anywhere I want?
-That's right.
714
00:45:38,279 --> 00:45:40,019
Of course, with you sitting up front...
715
00:45:40,180 --> 00:45:42,456
And they dont leave room for anyone else to see.
716
00:45:42,617 --> 00:45:44,325
That's what Alice would say, Ralph.
717
00:45:47,123 --> 00:45:49,831
-You know what it means, Norton.
-Oh, come on, don't get mad.
718
00:45:49,993 --> 00:45:51,995
-You know what it means.
-I'm trying to help--
719
00:45:52,162 --> 00:45:54,403
-Get out!
-All right, all right, all right.
720
00:45:54,564 --> 00:45:58,480
But Alice don't want to hear
about the relationship being a bus.
721
00:46:00,004 --> 00:46:01,607
Well, then ....
722
00:46:02,941 --> 00:46:06,081
I don't know what to tell her, Norton.
I'm crazy about her.
723
00:46:06,246 --> 00:46:09,056
I'm nuts about her.
Can't she see that?
724
00:46:09,215 --> 00:46:12,026
I mean, there I am, all day long...
725
00:46:12,186 --> 00:46:14,962
...driving that bus
up and down Madison Avenue.
726
00:46:15,122 --> 00:46:19,298
Women getting on, women getting off,
and all I can think of is her.
727
00:46:19,460 --> 00:46:22,999
Sometimes,
down at the bus station...
728
00:46:23,165 --> 00:46:25,406
...a couple boys start running
down their wives.
729
00:46:25,568 --> 00:46:28,344
You know what i say to myself.
I say Crandon...
730
00:46:28,504 --> 00:46:29,709
...you're a lucky man.
731
00:46:30,840 --> 00:46:34,415
When the chips are down,
Alice is there.
732
00:46:34,579 --> 00:46:38,583
When the times are good,
Alice is there."
733
00:46:39,517 --> 00:46:41,497
You may not believe this, Norton...
734
00:46:41,653 --> 00:46:45,101
...but sometimes, I 'm not a real bargain to live with.
735
00:46:45,792 --> 00:46:46,792
Yes I know...
736
00:46:46,959 --> 00:46:50,066
It's hard to believe,
but it's true
737
00:46:51,031 --> 00:46:52,874
I don't know what I'd do without her.
738
00:46:53,033 --> 00:46:54,876
Why don't you tell her
what you just said?
739
00:46:55,035 --> 00:46:57,608
-What do you mean?
-Yeah, what you just said there.
740
00:46:57,771 --> 00:46:59,719
-That was beautiful.
-What I just said here?
741
00:46:59,875 --> 00:47:01,148
Yeah.
742
00:47:01,777 --> 00:47:04,348
You're right, pal of mine,
that is what she wants to hear.
743
00:47:04,513 --> 00:47:06,254
Get her down here.
744
00:47:07,650 --> 00:47:11,121
Trixie? Trixie, send Alice
down here a minute, will you?
745
00:47:11,288 --> 00:47:13,632
And have her bring
some extra Kleenexes here.
746
00:47:13,792 --> 00:47:15,793
Right, pal, forget about
all that bus stuff...
747
00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:17,734
...just tell her
what she wants to hear.
748
00:47:17,895 --> 00:47:20,341
I can't send her down, Ed.
749
00:47:20,498 --> 00:47:22,035
What do you mean, you can't?
750
00:47:22,201 --> 00:47:23,508
What do you mean, you can't?
751
00:47:23,668 --> 00:47:26,411
I order her to come down here.
I want to tell her I love her.
752
00:47:26,572 --> 00:47:28,984
Trixie, tell Alice that's an order.
753
00:47:29,141 --> 00:47:33,023
Well, order or not,
she isn't coming down. She left.
754
00:47:33,181 --> 00:47:35,057
-Left?
-Left? What do you mean left?
755
00:47:35,216 --> 00:47:37,856
-Where did she leave to?
-She called a taxi for the airport.
756
00:47:38,019 --> 00:47:41,092
Said she needed to get away
and think things over...
757
00:47:41,256 --> 00:47:43,759
...figure out where
the relationship was going.
758
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:47,126
Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player
759
00:47:47,176 --> 00:47:51,726
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
61138
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.