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1
00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:22,122
And now...
2
00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:24,725
It's...
3
00:00:27,761 --> 00:00:32,232
Monty python's flying circuses.
4
00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:00,894
The adventures of biggles.
5
00:01:00,928 --> 00:01:05,599
Part one:"biggles
dictates a letter. "
6
00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:07,401
Miss bladder, take a letter.
7
00:01:07,434 --> 00:01:08,635
Yes, senor biggles.
8
00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:10,704
Don't call
me "senor"!
9
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,206
Or group
captain biggles
10
00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:15,209
Or mary biggles
if I'm dressed as my wife
11
00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:16,443
But never senor!
12
00:01:16,476 --> 00:01:17,444
Sorry.
13
00:01:17,477 --> 00:01:19,213
I've never even been to spain.
14
00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:21,348
You went to ibiza last year.
15
00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:24,117
That's still no grounds
for calling me senor
16
00:01:24,151 --> 00:01:27,487
Or "don beeg-les,"
for that matter.
17
00:01:27,521 --> 00:01:30,057
Right. dear
king haakon...
18
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,825
"of norway,"
is that?
19
00:01:31,859 --> 00:01:34,194
Just put down
what I say.
20
00:01:34,228 --> 00:01:35,495
Do I put that down?
21
00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:36,663
Course you don't put that down!
22
00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:37,965
Well, what about that?
23
00:01:37,998 --> 00:01:40,300
Look!
24
00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:43,737
Don't put that down.
25
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:46,206
Just put down...
wait a mo, wait a mo.
26
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,675
Now, when I've got
these antlers on...
27
00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:50,611
When I've got
these antlers on
28
00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:51,812
I am dictating
29
00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:54,715
And when I take them off,
I'm not dictating.
30
00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:56,817
"I'm not dictating."
31
00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:59,086
What?
32
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,554
Read that back.
33
00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:03,891
"dear king haakon,
I'm not dictating.
34
00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:05,058
What?"
35
00:02:05,092 --> 00:02:09,096
No, no, no, no, you
loopy brothel inmate!
36
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,465
I've had
enough of this.
37
00:02:11,498 --> 00:02:12,733
I'm not a
courtesan.
38
00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:15,335
Oh, oh, courtesan--
oh, aren't we grand?
39
00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:17,671
Harlot's not good
enough for us, eh?
40
00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:20,007
Paramour, concubine,
fille de joie--
41
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:21,475
That's what
we are not.
42
00:02:21,508 --> 00:02:23,677
Well, listen to me,
my fine fellow
43
00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:25,012
You are
a bit of tail
44
00:02:25,045 --> 00:02:26,280
That's what
you are.
45
00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:29,116
I am not, you demented
fictional character.
46
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,350
Algy says you are.
47
00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:32,953
He says you're
no better than you should be.
48
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:34,421
And how would
he know?
49
00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:36,490
And just what do
you mean by that?
50
00:02:36,523 --> 00:02:37,824
Are you calling
51
00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:40,194
My old fictional
comrade-in-arms a fairy?
52
00:02:40,227 --> 00:02:44,031
Fairy! poof's not good
enough for algy, is it?
53
00:02:44,064 --> 00:02:46,633
He's got to be a bleedin' fairy.
54
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,702
Mincing old r.a.f. queen.
55
00:02:48,735 --> 00:02:50,571
Algy, I have
to see you.
56
00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:53,173
Righto.
57
00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:55,976
What ho, everyone.
58
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,177
Are you gay?
59
00:02:57,211 --> 00:03:02,149
I should bally well
say so, old fruit.
60
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:06,086
Ugh! dear king haakon...
61
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:07,821
Oh. dear king haakon
62
00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:10,591
Just a line to thank
you for the eels.
63
00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:13,827
Mary thought they were
really scrummy, comma
64
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,329
So did i, full stop.
65
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:19,399
I've just heard that algy was
a poof, exclamation mark.
66
00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:23,470
What would captain w.e. johns
have said, question mark.
67
00:03:23,504 --> 00:03:27,741
Sorry to mench, but if you've
finished with the lawn edger
68
00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:29,877
Could you pop it
in the post?
69
00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:32,813
Love, biggles,
algy deceased, and ginger.
70
00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:33,814
Ginger?
71
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:34,815
What?
72
00:03:34,848 --> 00:03:37,918
Rhyming slang--
ginger beer.
73
00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:39,653
Oh.
74
00:03:39,686 --> 00:03:40,988
Ginger.
75
00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:43,490
Hello, sweetie.
76
00:03:43,524 --> 00:03:46,159
I have to see you.
77
00:03:46,193 --> 00:03:47,628
Yes, biggles?
78
00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:49,129
Are you a poof?
79
00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:52,266
I should say not!
80
00:03:52,299 --> 00:03:53,800
Thank god for that.
81
00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:58,038
Good lad, stout fellow, salt of
the earth, backbone of england.
82
00:03:58,071 --> 00:03:59,940
Funny, he looks like a poof.
83
00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:02,576
Dear princess margaret...
84
00:04:02,609 --> 00:04:05,045
Hello.
85
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:08,815
Get back in the cupboard, you
pantomimetic royal person!
86
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:10,584
Lemon curry?
87
00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:12,653
Dear real princess margaret
88
00:04:12,686 --> 00:04:15,189
Thank you for the eels,
full stop.
89
00:04:15,222 --> 00:04:17,491
They were absolutely delicious
90
00:04:17,524 --> 00:04:20,060
And unmistakably
regal, full stop.
91
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:24,431
Sorry to mench, but if you've
finished with the hairdryer
92
00:04:24,464 --> 00:04:26,667
Could you pop it in the post?
93
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,769
Yours fictionally, biggles.
94
00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:32,940
Oh, p.s.-- see you at the saxe-
coburgs' canasta evening.
95
00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:34,675
That should puzzle her.
96
00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:37,144
Si, senor beeg-les.
97
00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:40,647
Silence, naughty
lady of the night!
98
00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:46,286
Next week, part two:
"biggles flies undone. "
99
00:04:54,161 --> 00:04:56,496
Ugh!
100
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:23,190
Meanwhile, not very far away...
101
00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:25,425
Climbing-- the world's
loneliest sport
102
00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:27,995
Where hardship and philosophy
go hand in glove.
103
00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:30,898
And here, another british
expedition attempting to be
104
00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:32,799
The first man
to successfully climb
105
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:36,236
The north face
of the uxbridge road.
106
00:05:36,270 --> 00:05:39,173
This four-man rope has been
climbing tremendously.
107
00:05:39,206 --> 00:05:41,975
Bbc cameras were there
to film every inch.
108
00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:45,479
The major assault on the
uxbridge road has been going on
109
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:46,813
For about three weeks
110
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:49,249
Really ever since they
established base camp
111
00:05:49,283 --> 00:05:51,418
Here at the junction
of willesden road.
112
00:05:51,451 --> 00:05:54,488
From there they climbed steadily
to establish camp two
113
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:57,591
Outside lewis's, and it's taken
them another three days
114
00:05:57,624 --> 00:06:00,561
To establish camp three
here outside the post office.
115
00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:03,230
Well, they've spent
a good night in there last night
116
00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:05,465
In preparation
for the final assault today.
117
00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:08,202
The leader of the expedition
is 29-year-old bert tagg
118
00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:10,237
A local headmaster
and mother of three.
119
00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:11,872
Bert, how's
it going?
120
00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:14,708
It's a bit gripping,
is this, chris.
121
00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:17,845
I've got to try and
reach that bus stop
122
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,179
In an hour or so
123
00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:21,582
And I'm doing it
by... damn...
124
00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:24,751
I'm doing it by layback
up this gutter
125
00:06:24,785 --> 00:06:26,653
So I'm kind of
guttering
126
00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:29,223
And laying back
at the same time
127
00:06:29,256 --> 00:06:30,824
And philosophizing.
128
00:06:30,858 --> 00:06:33,527
Uh, bert, some people
say this is crazy.
129
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:37,030
Aye, well, they said
crippen was crazy, didn't they?
130
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,765
Well, crippen
was crazy.
131
00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:40,801
Oh, well, there
you are, then.
132
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:42,803
Eh, john? I'm
sending you down
133
00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:44,371
This carabiner
on white.
134
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,240
Lemon curry?
135
00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:48,675
Now, you see,
he's putting in a peg down there
136
00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:50,244
Because I'm quite
a way up now
137
00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:51,612
And if I come
unstuck here
138
00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:55,816
I go down quite
a long way.
139
00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:57,684
Such quiet courage is typical
140
00:06:57,718 --> 00:07:00,487
Of the way these brave chaps
shrug off danger.
141
00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:02,656
Like it or not,
you've got to admire
142
00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:06,927
The skill that goes into it.
143
00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:18,105
Oh, it's terrible
up on deck.
144
00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:19,206
Up on deck?
145
00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:22,442
Yeah, on deck it's
diabolical weather.
146
00:07:22,476 --> 00:07:23,810
Uh, what deck, dear?
147
00:07:23,844 --> 00:07:25,646
The deck-- the deck
of the lifeboat.
148
00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:27,981
This isn't a
lifeboat, dear.
149
00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:31,318
This is
24 parker street.
150
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:33,120
This is the newhaven lifeboat.
151
00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:36,657
No, it's not, dear.
152
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,135
You're right.
153
00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:49,903
This isn't
a lifeboat at all.
154
00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:52,105
No, I wouldn't live
here if it was.
155
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:56,243
Do you mind if I sit down for
a minute and collect my wits?
156
00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:57,277
No, you do that.
157
00:07:57,311 --> 00:07:59,112
I'll make a nice cup of tea.
158
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:01,949
Thanks very much.
159
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:03,584
Ooh, it's a wild night up top.
160
00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:05,319
Your turn on deck
soon, charlie.
161
00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:06,787
It's not a
lifeboat, frank.
162
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:07,788
What?
163
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:08,789
What do you mean?
164
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:10,257
It's not
a lifeboat ;
165
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:14,127
It's this
lady's house.
166
00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:20,000
Captain! captain, ahoy there!
167
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:21,735
Ahoy there!
168
00:08:21,768 --> 00:08:22,870
Ahoy there!
169
00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:24,037
Ahoy there!
170
00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:25,038
Captain!
171
00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:27,174
Who's that shouting?
172
00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:29,343
There's a man outside number 24.
173
00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:31,778
Try it on the five-inch, gladys.
174
00:08:31,812 --> 00:08:34,982
I cant, I've got that fixed
on the baileys at number 13.
175
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,884
Their new lodger moves in today.
176
00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:38,685
All right, hold 13
on the five-inch
177
00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:41,421
And transfer the cartwrights
to the digital scanner.
178
00:08:41,455 --> 00:08:42,956
Oh, okay.
179
00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:46,727
Hold on! mrs. pettigrew's
coming back from the doctor's.
180
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,663
Ooh, bring her up on two.
181
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:52,900
What's the duration rating
on the oscillator?
182
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:53,901
48.47.
183
00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:55,669
Well, that's
a long time
184
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:59,106
For someone who's just
had a routine checkup.
185
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:02,142
Yes, her pulse
rate's 146.
186
00:09:02,176 --> 00:09:05,479
Ooh, zoom in
on the 16-mil and hold her, enid.
187
00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:06,547
Roger, gladys.
188
00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:09,149
I'll try and get her
on the 12-inch.
189
00:09:09,183 --> 00:09:10,751
Move the curtain, enid.
190
00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:13,387
Thank you, love.
191
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:15,756
Yes, it's one of those
self-righting models.
192
00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:17,658
Newhaven was about
the first place
193
00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:19,026
In the country
to get one.
194
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,260
What's the
displacement
195
00:09:20,294 --> 00:09:21,628
On one of them
jobs, then?
196
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:22,763
Oh, about
140, 150...
197
00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:24,097
Who's for fruit cake?
198
00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:25,866
Oh, yes, please.
199
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,434
Yes? right, macaroons...
200
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:30,871
That's two dozen fruit cakes,
half a dozen macaroons.
201
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:34,741
Won't be a jiffy, then.
202
00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:49,256
Yoo-hoo! mrs. edwards!
203
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,058
Hello.
204
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,059
Hello, love.
205
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,560
I want two dozen
fruit cakes
206
00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:54,962
And half a dozen
macaroons.
207
00:09:54,995 --> 00:09:56,563
Oh, sorry, love,
no macaroons.
208
00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:58,232
How about a nice
vanilla sponge?
209
00:09:58,265 --> 00:09:59,433
Yes, that'd
be lovely.
210
00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:01,668
Righto.
211
00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:03,670
Ooh, there's that
nice herring trawler
212
00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:05,572
Come for their
kup kakes-- excuse me.
213
00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:06,573
Righto.
214
00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:09,910
Hello! captain smith!
215
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,512
Hello!
216
00:10:11,545 --> 00:10:15,215
Kup kakes to starboard!
217
00:10:15,249 --> 00:10:16,216
Coming!
218
00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:17,217
Head out there!
219
00:10:17,251 --> 00:10:19,453
If you want I'll
get your things.
220
00:10:19,486 --> 00:10:21,421
Oh, yes,
throw 'em in.
221
00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:22,623
I'll pay you
222
00:10:22,656 --> 00:10:24,725
At the end of
the week, then, all right?
223
00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:26,460
Okay, righto.
224
00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:27,861
All right.
225
00:10:27,895 --> 00:10:31,031
Rule, britannia...
226
00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:33,400
Ooh, it's the ark royal, doris!
227
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:37,771
Have you got their
rock buns ready?
228
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,006
Hang on!
229
00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:42,910
Here we are,
five for them
230
00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:46,847
And five for
h.m.s. eagle.
231
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,449
Righto.
232
00:10:57,257 --> 00:10:58,358
Yes?
233
00:10:58,392 --> 00:11:01,028
H.m.s. defiant,
two set teas, please.
234
00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:04,665
Two set teas, doris.
235
00:11:05,599 --> 00:11:07,301
That'll be 48 pence.
236
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:11,071
Here we are,
thank you.
237
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:14,007
By the way, do
you do lunches?
238
00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:17,911
No, morning coffees
and teas only.
239
00:11:17,945 --> 00:11:20,981
Righto, dear.
240
00:11:35,762 --> 00:11:39,032
Good evening, and welcome to
another edition of storage jars.
241
00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:40,300
On tonight's program
242
00:11:40,334 --> 00:11:42,469
Mikos antoniarkis,
the greek rebel leader
243
00:11:42,503 --> 00:11:44,571
Who seized power
in athens this morning
244
00:11:44,605 --> 00:11:49,009
Tells us what he keeps
in storage jars.
245
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,644
From strife-torn bolivia
246
00:11:50,677 --> 00:11:56,049
Ronald rodgers reports
on storage jars there.
247
00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:57,484
And closer to home
248
00:11:57,518 --> 00:12:00,821
The first dramatic pictures
of the mass jailbreak
249
00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:03,690
Near the storage jar factory
in maidenhead.
250
00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:05,959
All this and more
in storage jars.
251
00:12:05,993 --> 00:12:07,728
This is la paz, bolivia.
252
00:12:07,761 --> 00:12:10,731
Behind me, you can hear
the thud of mortar
253
00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:13,400
And the high-pitched
whine of rockets
254
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:17,604
As the battle for control
of this volatile republic shakes
255
00:12:17,638 --> 00:12:19,973
The foundations
of this old city.
256
00:12:20,007 --> 00:12:22,776
But whatever their
political inclinations
257
00:12:22,809 --> 00:12:26,313
These bolivians are all
keen users of storage jars.
258
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:30,017
Here the largest size is used
for rice and for mangos
259
00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:31,485
A big local crop.
260
00:12:31,518 --> 00:12:34,988
And unlike most revolutionary
south american states
261
00:12:35,022 --> 00:12:36,957
They've an intermediary size
262
00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:40,093
In between the two-pound
and five-pound jars.
263
00:12:40,127 --> 00:12:42,996
This gives this
poor-but-proud people
264
00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:46,867
A useful jar for apricots,
plums and stock cubes.
265
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:50,237
The smallest jar,
this little two-ounce jar
266
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:53,841
For sweets, chocolates
and even little shallots.
267
00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:55,676
No longer used in the west
268
00:12:55,709 --> 00:12:59,213
It remains here as an unspoken
monument to the days
269
00:12:59,246 --> 00:13:01,315
When la paz knew better times.
270
00:13:01,348 --> 00:13:03,951
Ronald rodgers,
storage jars, la paz.
271
00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:06,720
In london, the prime minister
met officials
272
00:13:06,753 --> 00:13:12,926
From the department of
the environment to discuss...
273
00:13:13,727 --> 00:13:15,996
A cassette tape recorder
is to replace
274
00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:17,731
The salon quartets and trios
275
00:13:17,764 --> 00:13:22,503
Which have played beside the
potted palms of manchester...
276
00:13:22,536 --> 00:13:24,705
...has caused a switch
to taped music
277
00:13:24,738 --> 00:13:27,875
Which will be relayed over
a new public address system
278
00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:33,714
Replacing one which relayed
both music and the...
279
00:13:33,747 --> 00:13:36,483
Stock market prices
hit record levels
280
00:13:36,517 --> 00:13:38,619
On the last day of the year.
281
00:13:38,652 --> 00:13:44,892
The financial times index
rose 3.7 points to 476.5...
282
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,068
...but the bbc has reported
283
00:13:55,102 --> 00:13:57,671
That radio free solent,
a pirate station
284
00:13:57,704 --> 00:14:00,274
Was marking the first
birthday of the...
285
00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:03,143
Henry! turn that television off!
286
00:14:03,177 --> 00:14:07,748
You know it's bad for your eyes!
287
00:14:07,948 --> 00:14:09,616
Ah, that's better.
288
00:14:09,650 --> 00:14:11,652
Henry, will you stop
sitting around?
289
00:14:11,685 --> 00:14:12,819
Yes, dear.
290
00:14:12,853 --> 00:14:14,488
There's an entire tv studio
291
00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:19,960
Waiting around for you
to do the next link!
292
00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:22,629
And when you've got that done
293
00:14:22,663 --> 00:14:24,364
I've gone some
more work for you!
294
00:14:24,398 --> 00:14:25,432
Yes, dear.
295
00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:28,135
Henry, do you hear me?
296
00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:30,170
Henry!
297
00:14:30,204 --> 00:14:33,473
Henry, get a move on!
298
00:14:33,507 --> 00:14:35,108
Now, you sod!
299
00:14:35,142 --> 00:14:36,443
That's better.
300
00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:41,982
Hut-two, hut-two, hut-two,
hut-two, hut-two!
301
00:14:54,461 --> 00:14:57,231
Hello, I'm the good fairy
from program control
302
00:14:57,264 --> 00:15:00,367
Where we're all grateful
for your work on this link
303
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,769
So much so that I'm
here to release you
304
00:15:02,803 --> 00:15:05,105
From the evil spell
you've been under.
305
00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:07,474
Huh?
306
00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:15,215
Hmm, well, it doesn't
always work the first time.
307
00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:24,591
Thank you,
thank you.
308
00:15:24,625 --> 00:15:26,093
No, no need to.
309
00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:32,432
You see, it's all in a day's
work for program control.
310
00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:37,871
Hello, the show so far...
311
00:15:37,905 --> 00:15:42,009
Well, it all started with
the organist losing his clothes
312
00:15:42,042 --> 00:15:44,011
As he sat down at the organ
313
00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:45,913
And after this had happened, uh
314
00:15:45,946 --> 00:15:48,582
And we had seen
the titles of the show, we...
315
00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:51,618
We saw biggles dictating
a letter to his secretary
316
00:15:51,652 --> 00:15:53,320
Who thought he was spanish
317
00:15:53,353 --> 00:15:55,556
And whom he referred to
as a "harlot"
318
00:15:55,589 --> 00:15:57,224
And a "woman of the night"
319
00:15:57,257 --> 00:16:03,263
Although she preferred
to be called a "courtesan."
320
00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:05,232
Uh, then we saw some people
321
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:07,401
Trying to climb
a road in uxbridge
322
00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:09,970
And then there were
some cartoons and...
323
00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:13,774
And then some lifeboat men came
into a woman's sitting room
324
00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:15,542
And, uh, after a bit
325
00:16:15,576 --> 00:16:19,079
The woman went out to buy
some, uh, cakes on a lifeboat.
326
00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:24,451
And then, uh, a n... a naval
officer jumped into the sea.
327
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:28,622
Uh, then we saw a man telling us
about storage jars from bolivia
328
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:31,158
And then there were
some more cartoons.
329
00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:32,626
And then a... a man told us
330
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:34,695
About what happened
on the show so far
331
00:16:34,728 --> 00:16:39,032
And a great hammer came
and hit him on the head.
332
00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:42,836
I don't remember that.
333
00:16:46,874 --> 00:16:49,843
Lemon curry?
334
00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:21,675
Good morning, sir.
335
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,143
Good morning.
336
00:17:23,177 --> 00:17:24,878
Um... I was sitting
337
00:17:24,912 --> 00:17:28,448
In the public library
in thurmond street just now
338
00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:32,052
Skimming through
rogue herries by horace walpole
339
00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:35,289
When i, um,
suddenly came over all peckish.
340
00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:36,490
Peckish, sir?
341
00:17:36,523 --> 00:17:37,791
Esurient.
342
00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:38,425
Eh?
343
00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:41,228
Eee, I were all hungry, like.
344
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:42,729
Oh, hungry.
345
00:17:42,763 --> 00:17:44,464
In a nutshell.
346
00:17:44,498 --> 00:17:46,233
So I thought to myself
347
00:17:46,266 --> 00:17:48,602
A little fermented curd
would do the trick
348
00:17:48,635 --> 00:17:51,738
So I curtailed my walpolling
activities, sallied forth
349
00:17:51,772 --> 00:17:54,074
And infiltrated
your place of purveyance
350
00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:57,077
To negotiate the vending
of some cheesy comestibles.
351
00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:58,345
Come again?
352
00:17:58,378 --> 00:18:00,714
I want to buy some cheese!
353
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:03,383
Ah... I thought you were
complaining about the music.
354
00:18:03,417 --> 00:18:05,886
Oh, heaven forbid.
I am one who delights
355
00:18:05,919 --> 00:18:09,423
In all manifestations
of the terpsichorean muse.
356
00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:10,290
Sorry.
357
00:18:10,324 --> 00:18:11,425
I like a nice dance--
358
00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:12,392
You're forced to.
359
00:18:12,426 --> 00:18:13,160
Anyway.
360
00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:14,328
Who said that?
361
00:18:14,361 --> 00:18:16,296
Now, my good man,
some cheese, please.
362
00:18:16,330 --> 00:18:18,432
Yes, certainly, sir.
what would you like?
363
00:18:18,465 --> 00:18:21,368
Well, uh, how about
a little red leicester?
364
00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:23,570
I'm afraid we're fresh out
of red leicester, sir.
365
00:18:23,604 --> 00:18:26,306
Never mind.
how are you on tilsit?
366
00:18:26,340 --> 00:18:27,608
Never at the end
of the week, sir.
367
00:18:27,641 --> 00:18:29,209
Always get it fresh
first thing on monday.
368
00:18:29,243 --> 00:18:30,911
Tish, tish.
369
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:32,513
No matter, um...
370
00:18:32,546 --> 00:18:35,849
Well, four ounces of caerphilly,
then, if you please
371
00:18:35,883 --> 00:18:37,150
Stout yeoman.
372
00:18:37,184 --> 00:18:39,753
Ah, well, it's been on
order for two weeks, sir.
373
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,488
I was expecting it
this morning.
374
00:18:41,522 --> 00:18:43,023
Yes, it's not
my day, is it?
375
00:18:43,056 --> 00:18:44,491
Uh, bel paese?
376
00:18:44,525 --> 00:18:45,492
Sorry.
377
00:18:45,526 --> 00:18:46,527
Red windsor?
378
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:47,961
Uh, normally,
sir, yes...
379
00:18:47,995 --> 00:18:49,463
But today
the van broke down.
380
00:18:49,496 --> 00:18:51,298
Ah... uh, stilton?
381
00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:52,432
Sorry.
382
00:18:52,466 --> 00:18:53,967
Gruyere, emmental?
383
00:18:54,001 --> 00:18:54,568
No.
384
00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:56,470
Any norwegian jarlsberger?
385
00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:57,304
No.
386
00:18:57,337 --> 00:18:58,472
Liptauer?
387
00:18:58,505 --> 00:18:58,972
No.
388
00:18:59,006 --> 00:18:59,606
Lancashire?
389
00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:00,107
No.
390
00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:01,074
White stilton?
391
00:19:01,108 --> 00:19:01,708
No.
392
00:19:01,742 --> 00:19:02,876
Danish blue?
393
00:19:02,910 --> 00:19:03,744
No.
394
00:19:03,777 --> 00:19:05,412
Double gloucester?
395
00:19:05,445 --> 00:19:06,313
No.
396
00:19:06,346 --> 00:19:07,381
Cheshire?
397
00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:08,081
No.
398
00:19:08,115 --> 00:19:09,516
Any dorset blue vinney?
399
00:19:09,550 --> 00:19:10,117
No.
400
00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:11,552
Brie, roquefort
401
00:19:11,585 --> 00:19:14,688
Pont-l'eveque,
port salut, savoyard
402
00:19:14,721 --> 00:19:17,157
Saint-paulin,
carre-de-l'est
403
00:19:17,191 --> 00:19:20,661
Boursin, bresse-bleue,
perle de champagne
404
00:19:20,694 --> 00:19:21,762
Camembert?
405
00:19:21,795 --> 00:19:23,630
Ah! we do have
some camembert.
406
00:19:23,664 --> 00:19:24,731
You do. excellent.
407
00:19:24,765 --> 00:19:27,334
It's a bit runny, sir.
408
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:29,369
Oh, i...
I like it runny.
409
00:19:29,403 --> 00:19:33,073
Well, as a matter of fact,
it's... it's very runny, sir.
410
00:19:33,106 --> 00:19:34,675
No matter,
no matter
411
00:19:34,708 --> 00:19:37,177
Hand over le fromage
de la belle france
412
00:19:37,211 --> 00:19:38,679
Qui s'appelle
camembert
413
00:19:38,712 --> 00:19:39,947
S'il vous plait.
414
00:19:39,980 --> 00:19:42,449
I think it's runnier
than you like it, sir.
415
00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:43,584
I don't care
416
00:19:43,617 --> 00:19:45,485
How excrementally
runny it is;
417
00:19:45,519 --> 00:19:47,321
Hand it over
with all speed.
418
00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:48,755
Yes, sir. oh...
419
00:19:48,789 --> 00:19:49,790
What?
420
00:19:49,823 --> 00:19:52,092
The cat's
eaten it.
421
00:19:52,125 --> 00:19:53,427
Has he?
422
00:19:53,460 --> 00:19:55,295
She, sir.
423
00:19:55,329 --> 00:19:56,396
Gouda?
424
00:19:56,430 --> 00:19:57,064
No.
425
00:19:57,097 --> 00:19:57,531
Edam?
426
00:19:57,564 --> 00:19:57,931
No.
427
00:19:57,965 --> 00:19:58,465
Caithness?
428
00:19:58,498 --> 00:19:59,132
No.
429
00:19:59,166 --> 00:20:00,067
Smoked austrian?
430
00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:00,701
No.
431
00:20:00,734 --> 00:20:01,702
Sage derby?
432
00:20:01,735 --> 00:20:02,503
No, sir.
433
00:20:02,536 --> 00:20:03,704
You do have some cheese, do you?
434
00:20:03,737 --> 00:20:05,506
Certainly, sir--
it's a cheese shop, sir.
435
00:20:05,539 --> 00:20:06,540
We've got...
436
00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:07,908
No, no, no,
don't tell me.
437
00:20:07,941 --> 00:20:09,076
I'm keen to guess.
438
00:20:09,109 --> 00:20:10,444
Fair enough.
439
00:20:10,477 --> 00:20:11,678
Wensleydale?
440
00:20:11,712 --> 00:20:12,679
Yes, sir.
441
00:20:12,713 --> 00:20:13,847
Splendid.
442
00:20:13,881 --> 00:20:15,983
Well, I'll have some
of that then, please.
443
00:20:16,016 --> 00:20:17,384
Oh, I'm sorry, sir
444
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:20,153
I thought you were
referring to me-- mr. wensleydale.
445
00:20:20,187 --> 00:20:21,655
Gorgonzola?
446
00:20:21,688 --> 00:20:22,222
No.
447
00:20:22,256 --> 00:20:22,723
Parmesan?
448
00:20:22,756 --> 00:20:23,257
No.
449
00:20:23,290 --> 00:20:23,891
Mozzarella?
450
00:20:23,924 --> 00:20:24,558
No.
451
00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:25,492
Pippo creme?
452
00:20:25,526 --> 00:20:26,193
No.
453
00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:27,628
Any danish fimboe?
454
00:20:27,661 --> 00:20:28,762
No.
455
00:20:28,795 --> 00:20:30,597
Czechoslovakian
sheep's milk cheese?
456
00:20:30,631 --> 00:20:31,532
No.
457
00:20:31,565 --> 00:20:33,166
Venezuelan beaver cheese?
458
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,102
Not today, sir, no.
459
00:20:35,135 --> 00:20:36,937
Well, let's keep it simple.
460
00:20:36,970 --> 00:20:38,805
How about cheddar?
461
00:20:38,839 --> 00:20:41,041
Well, I'm afraid
we don't get much call for it
462
00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:42,409
Around these parts, sir.
463
00:20:42,442 --> 00:20:46,213
Much call?! it's the most
popular cheese in the world!
464
00:20:46,246 --> 00:20:47,581
Not round these parts, sir.
465
00:20:47,614 --> 00:20:50,984
And pray, what is
the most popular cheese
466
00:20:51,018 --> 00:20:52,219
Round these parts?
467
00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:53,353
Ilchester, sir.
468
00:20:53,387 --> 00:20:55,222
I see.
469
00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:57,124
Yes, sir, it's quite
staggeringly popular
470
00:20:57,157 --> 00:20:58,325
In the manor, squire.
471
00:20:58,358 --> 00:20:58,992
Is it?
472
00:20:59,026 --> 00:21:00,594
Our number-one seller.
473
00:21:00,627 --> 00:21:01,528
Is it?
474
00:21:01,562 --> 00:21:02,596
Yes, sir.
475
00:21:02,629 --> 00:21:03,897
Ilchester,
eh?
476
00:21:03,931 --> 00:21:05,465
Right.
477
00:21:05,499 --> 00:21:07,835
Okay, I'm game.
478
00:21:07,868 --> 00:21:10,103
"have you got any?"
he asked
479
00:21:10,137 --> 00:21:12,239
Expecting
the answer "no."
480
00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:14,741
I'll have
a look, sir.
481
00:21:14,775 --> 00:21:17,110
N...
482
00:21:17,578 --> 00:21:19,813
No.
483
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:23,016
It's not much of a cheese shop,
really, is it?
484
00:21:23,050 --> 00:21:24,351
Finest in the district, sir.
485
00:21:24,384 --> 00:21:25,886
And what leads you
to that conclusion?
486
00:21:25,919 --> 00:21:27,588
Well, it's so clean.
487
00:21:27,621 --> 00:21:30,190
Well, it's certainly
uncontaminated by cheese.
488
00:21:30,224 --> 00:21:33,794
You haven't asked me
about limburger, sir.
489
00:21:33,827 --> 00:21:36,029
Is it worth it?
490
00:21:36,063 --> 00:21:38,799
Could be.
491
00:21:38,799 --> 00:21:41,368
Okay, have you...
492
00:21:41,401 --> 00:21:46,240
Will you shut
that bloody dancing up?!
493
00:21:46,273 --> 00:21:47,341
I told you so.
494
00:21:47,374 --> 00:21:51,011
Have you got any limburger?
495
00:21:51,044 --> 00:21:51,812
No.
496
00:21:51,845 --> 00:21:52,980
No-- that figures.
497
00:21:53,013 --> 00:21:54,681
It was pretty
predictable, really.
498
00:21:54,715 --> 00:21:56,149
It was an act of pure optimism
499
00:21:56,183 --> 00:21:58,418
To have posed the question
in the first place.
500
00:21:58,452 --> 00:21:59,453
Tell me something
501
00:21:59,486 --> 00:22:01,054
Do you have any
cheese at all?
502
00:22:01,088 --> 00:22:02,623
Yes, sir.
503
00:22:02,656 --> 00:22:05,359
Now, I'm going
to ask you that question once more
504
00:22:05,392 --> 00:22:06,760
And if you say "no"
505
00:22:06,793 --> 00:22:08,929
I am going to shoot you
through the head.
506
00:22:08,962 --> 00:22:10,864
Now, do you have
any cheese at all?
507
00:22:10,898 --> 00:22:13,133
No.
508
00:22:13,567 --> 00:22:18,539
What a senseless waste
of human life.
509
00:22:33,020 --> 00:22:35,422
Hugh walpole's rogue cheddar--
510
00:22:35,455 --> 00:22:38,759
One of the first
of the cheese westerns--
511
00:22:38,792 --> 00:22:41,795
To be later followed by
gunfight at gruyere corral
512
00:22:41,828 --> 00:22:43,764
Ilchester '73
513
00:22:43,797 --> 00:22:48,402
And the cheese who shot
liberty valance.
514
00:22:48,435 --> 00:22:50,237
While I'm on
the subject of westerns
515
00:22:50,270 --> 00:22:51,805
I want to take a closer look
516
00:22:51,839 --> 00:22:53,807
At one of my favorite
film directors--
517
00:22:53,841 --> 00:22:57,211
Sam peckinpah, the expatriate
from fresno, california.
518
00:22:57,244 --> 00:22:59,513
In his earliest films,
major dundee
519
00:22:59,546 --> 00:23:02,216
The wild bunch and straw dogs
520
00:23:02,249 --> 00:23:05,519
He showed his predilection
for the utterly truthful
521
00:23:05,552 --> 00:23:08,856
And very sexually arousing
portrayal of violence
522
00:23:08,889 --> 00:23:11,291
In its starkest form.
523
00:23:11,325 --> 00:23:12,993
In his latest film
524
00:23:13,026 --> 00:23:16,830
Peckinpah has moved into the
calmer and more lyrical waters
525
00:23:16,864 --> 00:23:21,168
Of julian slade's salad days.
526
00:23:29,543 --> 00:23:31,311
Hello,
everybody.
527
00:23:31,345 --> 00:23:33,247
Hello, lionel.
528
00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:36,717
I say, what a simply super day.
529
00:23:36,750 --> 00:23:38,519
Gosh, yes.
530
00:23:38,552 --> 00:23:41,555
It's so...
you know, sunny.
531
00:23:41,588 --> 00:23:43,323
Yes, isn't it?
532
00:23:43,357 --> 00:23:46,059
I say, anyone for tennis?
533
00:23:46,093 --> 00:23:47,628
Oh, super!
534
00:23:47,661 --> 00:23:48,495
What fun!
535
00:23:48,529 --> 00:23:52,199
I say,
lionel, catch.
536
00:23:58,338 --> 00:24:01,208
Oh, crikey!
537
00:24:34,741 --> 00:24:36,710
Pretty strong meat there from...
538
00:24:36,743 --> 00:24:39,880
Sam peckinpah.
539
00:25:50,150 --> 00:25:52,853
The bbc would like to deny
the last apology.
540
00:25:52,886 --> 00:25:54,421
It is very happy at home
541
00:25:54,454 --> 00:25:57,157
And bbc 2 is bound
to go through this phase.
542
00:25:57,191 --> 00:26:00,027
So from all of us here,
good night, sleep well
543
00:26:00,060 --> 00:26:02,663
And have an absolutely
super day tomorrow.
544
00:26:02,696 --> 00:26:05,566
Kiss, kiss.
545
00:26:05,799 --> 00:26:07,201
We've just heard
546
00:26:07,234 --> 00:26:10,437
That an explosion in the
kitchens of the house of lords
547
00:26:10,470 --> 00:26:13,307
Has resulted in the breakage
of 17 storage jars.
548
00:26:13,340 --> 00:26:17,911
Police have ruled out foul play.
549
00:26:18,011 --> 00:26:20,981
Lemon curry?
550
00:26:59,820 --> 00:27:03,790
Um, I'm sorry about the, uh...
the, uh... pause
551
00:27:03,824 --> 00:27:08,328
Only I'm afraid the show is
a couple of minutes short
552
00:27:08,362 --> 00:27:10,364
This week.
553
00:27:10,397 --> 00:27:14,635
You know, sometimes the show's
aren't really quite as, uh...
554
00:27:14,668 --> 00:27:18,906
As long as they ought to be.
555
00:27:25,345 --> 00:27:28,949
Beautiful, isn't it?
556
00:27:49,937 --> 00:27:53,473
Um, look, there's not really
a... a great deal of point
557
00:27:53,507 --> 00:27:56,009
In your sort of hanging on
at your end
558
00:27:56,043 --> 00:28:02,749
Because I'm afraid there aren't
any more jokes or anything.
559
00:28:02,799 --> 00:28:07,349
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