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1
00:00:58,894 --> 00:01:00,978
Tom, what are you doing here?
(MUFFLED)
2
00:01:01,886 --> 00:01:03,966
Come on, lad. That'll do.
You don't understand.
3
00:01:03,974 --> 00:01:05,918
Come on, into the car.
But...
4
00:01:05,926 --> 00:01:08,930
EXPLOSION BOOMS
Come on.
5
00:01:08,934 --> 00:01:11,894
Thomas Hicks,
6
00:01:11,902 --> 00:01:14,978
you have been found guilty of
cowardice in the face of the enemy.
7
00:01:15,882 --> 00:01:17,922
The sentence is death by shooting.
8
00:01:17,930 --> 00:01:21,918
The firing party will be found
from your own regiment.
9
00:01:21,922 --> 00:01:23,946
Lieutenant Hammond, take him away.
10
00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:28,914
SUSPENSE-BUILDING ORCHESTRAL MUSIC
11
00:01:35,922 --> 00:01:38,958
RAIN PELTS
12
00:01:44,902 --> 00:01:45,942
DISTANT THUNDER ROLLS
13
00:01:48,958 --> 00:01:50,898
Take aim.
14
00:01:51,930 --> 00:01:52,978
Fire!
15
00:01:53,882 --> 00:01:54,962
GUNFIRE ECHOES
16
00:01:54,966 --> 00:01:56,942
(GASPS)
17
00:02:27,922 --> 00:02:29,906
BIRDSONG
18
00:02:29,914 --> 00:02:33,902
BRASS BAND PLAYS
Left. Left, right, left.
19
00:02:57,926 --> 00:03:01,898
Left. Left. Left, right, left.
20
00:03:12,958 --> 00:03:16,910
Left, right, left, right...
21
00:03:34,934 --> 00:03:37,914
Royal Midsomers...halt!
22
00:03:40,898 --> 00:03:41,970
BRASS BAND STOPS
Parade...
23
00:03:41,974 --> 00:03:43,910
right turn!
24
00:03:45,942 --> 00:03:47,970
Stand at ease!
25
00:03:50,934 --> 00:03:51,974
Stand easy.
26
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:59,954
(CLEARS THROAT) I would now
like to call upon my father,
27
00:03:59,958 --> 00:04:02,942
Corporal Lionel Hicks,
28
00:04:02,950 --> 00:04:08,918
to unveil the new name
on our war memorial.
29
00:04:08,926 --> 00:04:16,890
That of his father, my grandfather,
Private Tommy Hicks
30
00:04:16,894 --> 00:04:19,946
of the Royal Midsomer Yeomanry.
31
00:04:19,954 --> 00:04:21,954
Father.
Thank you.
32
00:04:24,942 --> 00:04:26,882
There you go, Dad.
33
00:04:37,922 --> 00:04:43,910
And so, after 90 years,
a great wrong is righted.
34
00:04:43,918 --> 00:04:47,938
And the twin blemishes
of cowardice and desertion
35
00:04:47,946 --> 00:04:51,914
are wiped from the pages
of the Hicks' family history.
36
00:04:51,918 --> 00:04:52,970
(MUMBLES ANGRILY)
37
00:04:54,922 --> 00:04:55,962
Here we go.
38
00:04:56,970 --> 00:04:58,926
(CLEARS THROAT)
39
00:04:58,934 --> 00:05:04,974
The courage and honour of
Tommy Hicks is now recognised
40
00:05:05,882 --> 00:05:10,886
despite the efforts of certain
ELEMENTS in our community.
41
00:05:10,890 --> 00:05:12,958
(CACKLES)
44
00:05:16,958 --> 00:05:18,902
(LAUGHS)
45
00:05:18,906 --> 00:05:20,894
I know what you want.
46
00:05:20,902 --> 00:05:22,902
(LAUGHS)
Do the bloody salute!
47
00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:23,970
Parade...
48
00:05:23,974 --> 00:05:25,966
Parade arms!
49
00:05:27,922 --> 00:05:29,918
Slope...ARMS.
50
00:05:32,910 --> 00:05:35,946
One round of volley fire - take AIM.
51
00:05:38,894 --> 00:05:39,922
Fire!
52
00:05:39,974 --> 00:05:41,946
ODD CRACKS AND POPS
53
00:05:49,890 --> 00:05:52,938
Royal Midsomers - slope ARMS!
54
00:05:54,974 --> 00:05:56,962
Crack regiment, this.
Shush.
55
00:05:56,966 --> 00:06:00,882
Parade, right...TURN!
56
00:06:01,978 --> 00:06:05,886
Parade, fall...OUT!
57
00:06:05,890 --> 00:06:06,926
Left...
58
00:06:20,910 --> 00:06:23,894
Farce! Absolute bloody farce!
59
00:06:23,898 --> 00:06:25,930
Yes, Henry. Come along, girls.
60
00:06:27,918 --> 00:06:29,910
(GROANS LOWLY) Watch the car.
61
00:06:30,950 --> 00:06:32,930
What about my wheelchair?
62
00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:34,930
Forget it. No way. It will scratch.
63
00:06:34,938 --> 00:06:36,966
Get your girlfriend
to push you home.
64
00:06:36,970 --> 00:06:39,974
SAD ORCHESTRAL MUSIC
65
00:06:41,910 --> 00:06:42,958
Thanks, son.
66
00:06:42,962 --> 00:06:44,962
I'm glad I fought the war for you.
67
00:06:44,966 --> 00:06:46,946
Any time.
68
00:06:46,950 --> 00:06:50,978
SAD ORCHESTRAL MUSIC CONTINUES
69
00:06:54,954 --> 00:06:58,930
RAIN PELTS HEAVILY
70
00:07:03,978 --> 00:07:05,926
DOOR BANGS SHUT
71
00:07:05,930 --> 00:07:06,974
You going, sir?
72
00:07:08,898 --> 00:07:12,886
No, I am not. Chief's the one
with the pretty uniform.
73
00:07:12,894 --> 00:07:14,934
He can go between
the Hicks and the Hammonds.
74
00:07:14,942 --> 00:07:16,942
90 years they've been
at each other's throats.
75
00:07:16,950 --> 00:07:18,914
Yeah. And they are
truly AWFUL families.
76
00:07:18,922 --> 00:07:22,914
The Hammonds are all
huff and puff military Wallers.
77
00:07:22,922 --> 00:07:24,974
And the Hicks, gosh,
just a bunch of spooks.
78
00:07:25,882 --> 00:07:27,978
So even his Worship the Mayor?
Especially his Worship the Mayor.
79
00:07:28,886 --> 00:07:29,958
It's his company
put up my bloody roof.
80
00:07:29,966 --> 00:07:32,894
Maybe this pardon thing
will put an end to the feud.
81
00:07:32,898 --> 00:07:33,966
It's not likely.
82
00:07:33,974 --> 00:07:36,886
Feuding's an Olympic sport
round here.
83
00:07:37,902 --> 00:07:40,906
RAIN PELTS
Tomorrow is our big day.
84
00:07:40,914 --> 00:07:42,978
So it will be much appreciated
if we...
85
00:07:43,882 --> 00:07:45,954
YOU could be authentic as possible.
86
00:07:45,962 --> 00:07:49,890
So we don't want to see any
iPod-leanings of the regulations.
87
00:07:49,894 --> 00:07:51,910
Lanyards. And no brollies either.
88
00:07:51,914 --> 00:07:53,882
Capes only.
89
00:08:04,942 --> 00:08:06,930
What's for dinner?
90
00:08:06,938 --> 00:08:08,934
Oh, I can't think.
What would you reckon?
91
00:08:12,894 --> 00:08:13,978
God!
92
00:08:14,882 --> 00:08:16,906
I'm gonna kill that man.
93
00:08:17,930 --> 00:08:19,962
Don't touch the electrics!
94
00:08:20,978 --> 00:08:23,886
Corporal Ryan, did you have
your public-address system
95
00:08:23,890 --> 00:08:24,942
set up for my commentary?
96
00:08:24,950 --> 00:08:26,890
They'll hear you
loud and clear, Johnny.
97
00:08:26,898 --> 00:08:29,894
Sir or...Captain
when we're on parade, please?
98
00:08:29,898 --> 00:08:30,958
I hear you loud and clear, sir.
99
00:08:32,882 --> 00:08:33,962
Or Captain.
(MEN SNIGGER)
100
00:08:33,966 --> 00:08:35,910
Jolly good.
101
00:08:35,914 --> 00:08:38,882
Lawrence Of Arabia rides again.
102
00:08:38,886 --> 00:08:40,950
(MEN LAUGH)
103
00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:43,906
Parade. Parade...'SHUN!
104
00:08:46,934 --> 00:08:48,906
You're all a bloody disgrace!
105
00:08:49,914 --> 00:08:50,970
I've never seen such a shambles.
106
00:08:50,974 --> 00:08:52,922
Silly old fart.
107
00:08:52,926 --> 00:08:54,890
Put that man on a charge, Johnny.
108
00:08:54,894 --> 00:08:55,974
Put him on a charge!
109
00:08:56,882 --> 00:08:59,950
Father, I can't do that. This is not
the real army, this is our hobby.
110
00:08:59,954 --> 00:09:02,934
(SPUTTERS) A hobby?
111
00:09:02,938 --> 00:09:04,958
A HOBBY?
112
00:09:04,966 --> 00:09:07,890
Is that what this family
is coming to?
113
00:09:07,894 --> 00:09:09,958
So the army's a hobby?
114
00:09:09,962 --> 00:09:12,890
You're all pathetic.
115
00:09:13,902 --> 00:09:18,914
The fletching isn't overlapping,
and these...new slates sit...
116
00:09:18,922 --> 00:09:19,958
SLATE BREAKS
Cracks!
117
00:09:19,962 --> 00:09:22,918
The man's a complete bloody cowboy.
118
00:09:22,926 --> 00:09:24,914
Guarantee?
Yeah.
119
00:09:24,922 --> 00:09:27,898
Expired a month ago.
Will the insurance cover it?
120
00:09:27,906 --> 00:09:29,886
Like hell it will.
They're all crooks as well.
121
00:09:29,890 --> 00:09:30,938
Come on.
122
00:09:30,942 --> 00:09:32,898
Look at them.
123
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:35,978
Jarvis Hammond -
Blenheim, Malplaquet.
124
00:09:36,882 --> 00:09:37,954
(GRUNTS) Good God.
125
00:09:40,910 --> 00:09:41,958
Sebastian Hammond -
126
00:09:41,962 --> 00:09:43,930
Rorke's Drift.
127
00:09:45,882 --> 00:09:46,930
Dougie Hammond -
128
00:09:46,934 --> 00:09:48,934
the Somme.
129
00:09:48,938 --> 00:09:50,886
(STAMMERS) And me -
130
00:09:50,890 --> 00:09:51,950
over there.
131
00:09:51,954 --> 00:09:53,938
Wherever those Midsomers were,
132
00:09:53,946 --> 00:09:56,926
the Hammonds were there
to lead them.
133
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,978
So, what were YOU doing?
134
00:09:59,886 --> 00:10:01,898
You didn't HAVE to come.
(VICIOUSLY) Course I did.
135
00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:02,966
Regimental occasion.
136
00:10:02,974 --> 00:10:04,974
My personal feelings
don't come into it.
137
00:10:04,978 --> 00:10:07,946
To encourage the others.
138
00:10:09,970 --> 00:10:13,966
That's why Dougie had to shoot
that Hicks boy. Mm. Eh, Bella?
139
00:10:15,914 --> 00:10:16,954
Bella!
140
00:10:17,962 --> 00:10:19,902
Ah?
141
00:10:21,890 --> 00:10:22,938
Yes.
142
00:10:22,942 --> 00:10:24,950
Sh-shall we have supper now?
143
00:10:24,954 --> 00:10:26,958
Oh. I-I'll go and find the girls.
144
00:10:28,966 --> 00:10:30,934
Father, tomorrow...
145
00:10:30,942 --> 00:10:32,906
Forget it.
Please?
146
00:10:32,910 --> 00:10:33,954
For the sake of the family,
147
00:10:33,958 --> 00:10:36,886
our name in the village.
148
00:10:38,938 --> 00:10:40,886
I'm off to the pub.
149
00:10:42,902 --> 00:10:43,942
(SIGHS)
150
00:10:46,886 --> 00:10:50,978
BIRDSONG
PEACEFUL PIANO AND VIOLINS PLAYS
151
00:10:57,922 --> 00:10:59,950
Martin!
152
00:10:59,958 --> 00:11:01,978
How much do you love
Chateau Hicks then?
153
00:11:02,882 --> 00:11:04,958
Very nice. Very...you.
154
00:11:04,966 --> 00:11:06,962
Couldn't have done it
without your legal nous.
155
00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:08,910
Hah. No.
156
00:11:08,914 --> 00:11:10,934
So...what you got cooking then?
157
00:11:12,898 --> 00:11:13,954
DOOR CLOSES
158
00:11:13,962 --> 00:11:18,922
When my father retired he passed on
various documents from old clients.
159
00:11:18,926 --> 00:11:20,934
Most notably, the Hammonds.
160
00:11:20,938 --> 00:11:22,922
And?
161
00:11:22,930 --> 00:11:24,922
Well, THIS may be
of interest to you.
162
00:11:26,950 --> 00:11:28,958
I always look after them,
they look after me.
163
00:11:33,922 --> 00:11:35,950
Oh, not in a village pub!
164
00:11:35,954 --> 00:11:37,926
Well, I'm not cooking here.
165
00:11:37,934 --> 00:11:40,922
All the local loons come out of the
woodwork so they jibber at me.
166
00:11:40,926 --> 00:11:41,978
Couldn't you do a salad?
167
00:11:42,886 --> 00:11:46,926
Midsomer Parva, The Woodman.
Get your clogs on. (SIGHS)
168
00:12:02,950 --> 00:12:04,890
(CLEARS NOSTRILS)
169
00:12:12,922 --> 00:12:17,882
Dave Hicks, man of property.
170
00:12:17,886 --> 00:12:18,950
Tell it to the Hammonds.
171
00:12:18,958 --> 00:12:21,950
We're as good as them now.
In your dreams.
172
00:12:21,958 --> 00:12:23,950
You're still rubbish,
you always will be.
173
00:12:23,954 --> 00:12:25,954
What have I done now?
174
00:12:28,910 --> 00:12:29,966
What?
175
00:12:29,974 --> 00:12:33,926
Which one of the local slappers you
having a ding-dong with this time?
176
00:12:33,930 --> 00:12:35,902
Give me a break, Jude.
177
00:12:35,910 --> 00:12:37,910
Well, your golf sweater
stinks of Chanel No.5.
178
00:12:37,918 --> 00:12:39,930
Look, I'm the Mayor of Corsten,
for God's sake.
179
00:12:39,934 --> 00:12:41,886
People watch my every move.
180
00:12:41,894 --> 00:12:43,966
I can no more be having an affair
than flying to the bleedin' moon.
181
00:12:43,974 --> 00:12:46,886
Why won't the local women
look me in the eye then?
182
00:12:47,954 --> 00:12:49,966
Probably cos of the way you dress.
183
00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:51,946
I beg your pardon?
184
00:12:51,954 --> 00:12:55,902
(SIGHS) You could try
and fit in a bit more.
185
00:12:55,906 --> 00:12:59,886
I...HATE...living here.
186
00:12:59,890 --> 00:13:02,970
I'm a Corsten woman, a townie.
187
00:13:02,978 --> 00:13:06,918
I don't want to be part
of your social climbing crap.
188
00:13:15,922 --> 00:13:17,882
So, how did the council
give permission
189
00:13:17,890 --> 00:13:19,910
for their ghastly house
in the first place?
190
00:13:19,914 --> 00:13:21,914
Hicks probably bribed them.
191
00:13:21,922 --> 00:13:22,974
Their whole family
should be put down. Please!
192
00:13:22,978 --> 00:13:24,966
Terrible people.
193
00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:26,934
Always were.
194
00:13:26,938 --> 00:13:28,926
It's been going on for 90 years now.
195
00:13:28,934 --> 00:13:31,930
Maybe we could all move on.
Why?
196
00:13:31,938 --> 00:13:33,882
Because.
Because.
197
00:13:42,966 --> 00:13:45,882
And, by the way, Dad,
I must have some more money.
198
00:13:45,886 --> 00:13:47,910
Delivery costs have gone ballistic.
199
00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:48,970
Not a chance.
200
00:13:48,978 --> 00:13:51,922
Trustees have made some
very BORING investments -
201
00:13:51,926 --> 00:13:53,930
all capital, no income.
202
00:13:53,938 --> 00:13:55,934
How long are those bastards
going to rule our lives?
203
00:13:55,942 --> 00:13:57,926
Until your grandfather,
your mother and I are all dead
204
00:13:57,930 --> 00:13:58,978
and the trust wraps up.
205
00:13:59,882 --> 00:14:00,938
You'll both be very comfortable.
206
00:14:00,946 --> 00:14:01,978
Meanwhile
you could always get a job,
207
00:14:02,882 --> 00:14:03,938
like your sister.
208
00:14:04,966 --> 00:14:06,966
Blah, blah, blah...
209
00:14:10,966 --> 00:14:12,926
See?
210
00:14:12,930 --> 00:14:15,914
It's 30 acres of solid gold.
211
00:14:15,922 --> 00:14:20,882
It's agricultural.
I mean, look at the zoning.
212
00:14:20,890 --> 00:14:21,974
You always were the dumb one,
weren't you?
213
00:14:22,882 --> 00:14:24,930
Dad.
I'm the Mayor!
214
00:14:24,934 --> 00:14:26,894
Head of planning.
215
00:14:26,902 --> 00:14:29,894
"Change Of Use Order?
Certainly, Mr Mayor."
216
00:14:29,898 --> 00:14:32,898
30 acres, solid gold.
217
00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:35,974
Right. That's cool.
THAT is REALLY cool.
218
00:14:35,978 --> 00:14:37,926
Nice one, Dad.
219
00:14:43,950 --> 00:14:45,890
CASSETTE TAPE REWINDS
220
00:14:50,894 --> 00:14:52,946
Ms Hammond.
Mr Hicks.
221
00:14:55,930 --> 00:14:58,926
So...how's it going?
222
00:14:58,930 --> 00:15:00,966
It's going how it's going.
223
00:15:00,970 --> 00:15:02,950
I mean, when will it be finished?
224
00:15:02,958 --> 00:15:05,910
It's a work of art,
not a military objective.
225
00:15:05,918 --> 00:15:07,914
Please?
Artists.
226
00:15:07,918 --> 00:15:09,938
(LAUGHS) No order, no discipline.
227
00:15:09,946 --> 00:15:12,918
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We represent everything you abhor.
228
00:15:12,922 --> 00:15:13,970
Now, shut up and get on the bed.
229
00:15:26,946 --> 00:15:29,946
SOFT CHATTER
230
00:15:29,950 --> 00:15:33,886
(LAUGHS)
231
00:15:34,954 --> 00:15:36,978
So the Hicks have come full circle,
232
00:15:37,886 --> 00:15:39,902
from yobs to knobs in 100 years.
(LAUGHS)
233
00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:42,894
And don't they love you for it?
234
00:15:42,898 --> 00:15:45,942
(CACKLES)
235
00:15:45,946 --> 00:15:47,978
Do you want a drink, George?
236
00:15:48,886 --> 00:15:51,922
No. I've got the milk round later.
You still doing that?
237
00:15:51,926 --> 00:15:53,926
Oh, aye. Set your clock by me.
238
00:15:53,930 --> 00:15:55,898
Hammond Hill here.
239
00:15:55,902 --> 00:15:58,962
The lane goes right past the hall.
240
00:15:58,966 --> 00:16:00,902
Easy-peasey.
241
00:16:02,922 --> 00:16:04,910
Oh, come on!
242
00:16:04,914 --> 00:16:06,946
It's for Lionel, my old mate there.
243
00:16:06,950 --> 00:16:08,946
Yo! Lionel!
244
00:16:08,954 --> 00:16:10,898
Yo, Mickey.
(LAUGHS)
245
00:16:19,890 --> 00:16:23,938
Hah! They've lacquered these horse
brasses, instead of polishing them.
246
00:16:23,942 --> 00:16:25,970
About 50 years ago.
247
00:16:25,978 --> 00:16:28,938
They've got crumbed scampi.
Oh, goodie.
248
00:16:28,946 --> 00:16:30,958
MEN LAUGH
What'll it be then?
249
00:16:30,962 --> 00:16:32,926
Nothing for George, shandy for me,
250
00:16:32,930 --> 00:16:34,914
and the same for my 'ho'.
251
00:16:34,922 --> 00:16:37,890
(LAUGHS)
(CACKLES)
252
00:16:37,898 --> 00:16:38,950
Will you people
keep the noise down?!
253
00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:41,918
Are you talking to me, General?
254
00:16:41,926 --> 00:16:44,910
No. I'm talking to
that Hicks creature.
255
00:16:44,914 --> 00:16:45,970
Oh, my gawd.
256
00:16:45,978 --> 00:16:49,882
Do you know what was wrong
with the execution of your father?
257
00:16:49,886 --> 00:16:50,926
Not tonight, General.
258
00:16:50,934 --> 00:16:52,970
Dougie should have shot him
before he had a chance to breed.
259
00:16:52,974 --> 00:16:54,918
You leave him alone.
260
00:16:54,926 --> 00:16:57,946
Then we wouldn't have this long line
of Hicks living in Parva
261
00:16:57,954 --> 00:17:00,890
in that bloody awful
red-brick monstrosity.
262
00:17:00,894 --> 00:17:02,886
I'm not fighting tonight.
263
00:17:02,894 --> 00:17:04,890
No, of course you're not,
cos you're like your father -
264
00:17:04,894 --> 00:17:05,938
a coward.
265
00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:07,938
Come on, Biddy.
266
00:17:07,942 --> 00:17:10,890
Go on, you little weasel.
267
00:17:10,894 --> 00:17:12,950
(ELECTRIC WHEELCHAIR WHIRS)
268
00:17:12,958 --> 00:17:15,954
(MEN LAUGH)
That's it. Come on.
269
00:17:15,962 --> 00:17:18,938
That's it!
(CACKLES) (LAUGHS)
270
00:17:18,946 --> 00:17:21,918
(OTHERS CHEER)
Oooohhhh...
271
00:17:21,922 --> 00:17:23,946
Go on! Get back in there. Go on.
272
00:17:23,950 --> 00:17:25,894
Prr-rump-tah!
273
00:17:25,898 --> 00:17:26,958
Charge!
274
00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:31,914
(OTHERS YELL ENCOURAGEMENT)
275
00:17:37,926 --> 00:17:38,974
METAL RATTLES
276
00:17:38,978 --> 00:17:42,978
(LAUGHS)
277
00:17:44,886 --> 00:17:46,950
GLASS BREAKS
278
00:17:46,954 --> 00:17:49,958
YELLING AND LAUGHING
279
00:17:52,918 --> 00:17:53,974
OI! OI! OI!
280
00:17:53,978 --> 00:17:55,930
(YELLING) Stop it! Stop it!
281
00:17:55,938 --> 00:17:59,894
Stop it! All right. You stop it, both
of you. Stop it there. Stop it now!
282
00:17:59,898 --> 00:18:02,926
Put that down. Lionel, give ME that!
283
00:18:02,930 --> 00:18:05,914
What is the matter with you two?
284
00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:07,926
Has evolution passed you by?
285
00:18:07,934 --> 00:18:09,922
What was that ceremony about
yesterday, hey?
286
00:18:09,930 --> 00:18:13,890
Was that drawing a line under all
this flaming business or not? Eh?
287
00:18:13,898 --> 00:18:16,886
Oh, you're right. What you say,
Henry - kiss and make up?
288
00:18:17,894 --> 00:18:19,938
Over my dead body.
289
00:18:20,946 --> 00:18:22,886
OW!
290
00:18:24,930 --> 00:18:26,950
I've got to finish my meal.
291
00:18:26,958 --> 00:18:29,914
If you lot want to kill each other,
will you PLEASE
292
00:18:29,918 --> 00:18:31,954
do it quietly?
293
00:18:33,918 --> 00:18:34,958
(CRACKS UP)
294
00:18:36,894 --> 00:18:37,970
Don't you worry.
295
00:18:45,974 --> 00:18:47,954
On parade, Corporal.
296
00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:54,958
(SQUEALS) Get off. Get...
297
00:18:54,962 --> 00:18:57,910
(LAUGHS) Stop it.
298
00:18:57,914 --> 00:18:58,950
Oh.
299
00:19:05,922 --> 00:19:07,890
God, I hate you.
300
00:19:07,894 --> 00:19:08,938
Mm.
301
00:19:08,942 --> 00:19:10,970
Just behave, will you?!
302
00:19:10,974 --> 00:19:12,910
(SIGHS)
303
00:19:16,958 --> 00:19:21,954
Hm! What would our families think?
304
00:19:23,974 --> 00:19:27,918
A common Hicks
falling for a posh Hammond.
305
00:19:27,926 --> 00:19:30,958
There'll be dead generals spinning
in their graves all over the world.
306
00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:32,906
Hm!
307
00:19:32,910 --> 00:19:35,946
We'll have to tell them soon.
308
00:19:35,950 --> 00:19:37,886
You know...
309
00:19:39,894 --> 00:19:40,970
Here, sit here.
310
00:19:49,978 --> 00:19:51,918
Sophie...
311
00:19:53,918 --> 00:19:54,966
..will you marry me?
312
00:19:54,970 --> 00:19:56,974
If...
313
00:19:56,978 --> 00:19:58,942
you pass the physical.
314
00:19:58,946 --> 00:20:00,898
(SIGHS EXAGGERATEDLY) Come on.
315
00:20:00,902 --> 00:20:02,930
(SHRIEKS, GIGGLES)
316
00:20:02,934 --> 00:20:04,906
(GIGGLES)
317
00:20:14,301 --> 00:20:16,249
Yes, sir.
318
00:20:16,253 --> 00:20:18,329
Well, I do understand, sir.
319
00:20:20,269 --> 00:20:21,309
Goodbye, sir.
320
00:20:25,257 --> 00:20:26,313
"Sir", was it?
321
00:20:26,321 --> 00:20:30,241
"Sir", it was.
And joy of joy, Jones,
322
00:20:30,245 --> 00:20:32,285
we have to go to the re-enactment.
323
00:20:32,289 --> 00:20:34,277
We?
324
00:20:34,285 --> 00:20:36,281
We.
Hello, Tom.
325
00:20:36,285 --> 00:20:38,301
Mr Mayor.
326
00:20:38,305 --> 00:20:40,269
What can I do for you?
327
00:20:40,277 --> 00:20:42,281
Well, I was just wondering
why your chief
328
00:20:42,289 --> 00:20:44,241
never comes along
to anything I organise.
329
00:20:44,245 --> 00:20:45,301
He always sends his underlings.
330
00:20:45,309 --> 00:20:48,317
Probably because he doesn't want
to be seen with a cowboy builder.
331
00:20:48,321 --> 00:20:50,325
You just never get it, do you?
332
00:20:50,333 --> 00:20:54,317
Never come to the party,
always out there in the cold.
333
00:20:54,325 --> 00:20:56,293
What are you going
to do about my roof?
334
00:20:56,297 --> 00:20:58,313
Hands are tied, Tom.
335
00:20:58,317 --> 00:21:00,297
Contracts, guarantees, accountants.
336
00:21:00,305 --> 00:21:03,297
Of course, if you know how to shake
a hand and stand on one leg...
337
00:21:03,305 --> 00:21:05,313
If you've got no
official business here,
338
00:21:05,317 --> 00:21:07,321
Mr Mayor, would you please go away?
339
00:21:07,329 --> 00:21:10,329
Right. Well, I'll see you
at the do then.
340
00:21:10,333 --> 00:21:14,237
(LAUGHS)
341
00:21:16,257 --> 00:21:19,305
BRASS BAND PLAYS
342
00:21:19,309 --> 00:21:22,273
AIRCRAFT ENGINES WHIR
343
00:21:26,333 --> 00:21:30,329
And here comes the Red Baron,
Manfred von Richthofen,
344
00:21:31,237 --> 00:21:34,329
being chased through the skies
by our own Captain Roy Brown.
345
00:21:39,241 --> 00:21:40,333
(LAUGHS) How do I look?
346
00:21:42,317 --> 00:21:45,289
Interesting.
You can go now.
347
00:21:45,293 --> 00:21:48,317
PEOPLE CHATTER
348
00:22:00,253 --> 00:22:03,285
Could this be curtains
for the Red Baron?
349
00:22:03,289 --> 00:22:05,281
There they go!
350
00:22:05,285 --> 00:22:07,237
Big cheer for our chap.
351
00:22:07,245 --> 00:22:09,265
Hip, hip...
CHEERING
352
00:22:13,277 --> 00:22:15,325
It's far too close
to the crowd, that.
353
00:22:15,329 --> 00:22:18,245
Health and safety will have a fit.
354
00:22:22,285 --> 00:22:25,269
Lionel, how goes it?
355
00:22:25,273 --> 00:22:27,261
Watch this.
356
00:22:27,265 --> 00:22:29,265
FEEDBACK SCREECHES
357
00:22:29,273 --> 00:22:30,325
Oi!
FEEDBACK CONTINUES
358
00:22:30,329 --> 00:22:32,325
Stop that, you rascal, you. (LAUGHS)
359
00:22:32,329 --> 00:22:34,289
Keep up the good work.
360
00:22:34,297 --> 00:22:37,281
The Midsomers always wore
their lanyards on the right.
361
00:22:37,285 --> 00:22:39,309
Never on the left!
362
00:22:39,317 --> 00:22:42,321
And what about their...
their pink socks?
363
00:22:42,325 --> 00:22:44,269
Which feet did they wear them on?
364
00:22:44,273 --> 00:22:45,321
(LAUGHS)
365
00:22:45,325 --> 00:22:48,329
I know you Ryan. Shankhill Road.
366
00:22:49,237 --> 00:22:52,301
You were a disgrace then,
no better now.
367
00:22:52,309 --> 00:22:55,249
Get out of my way.
(LAUGHS)
368
00:22:57,313 --> 00:22:59,309
See all this?
369
00:23:00,317 --> 00:23:02,293
North Meadow.
370
00:23:04,325 --> 00:23:07,237
The 30 acres.
371
00:23:07,241 --> 00:23:08,329
Ooh, that. Yeah!
372
00:23:09,237 --> 00:23:12,241
100 townhouses, easy.
Very easy.
373
00:23:12,249 --> 00:23:15,293
Looking right into
the Hammond's garden.
374
00:23:15,297 --> 00:23:17,289
Profit and revenge, all in one.
375
00:23:17,293 --> 00:23:21,249
(LAUGHS) Brilliant, Dad. Brilliant.
376
00:23:26,277 --> 00:23:28,285
I've got them all on here.
377
00:23:28,293 --> 00:23:31,265
All what?
All the local women.
378
00:23:31,273 --> 00:23:34,241
I'll check the lot of them
and I'll sniff yours out.
379
00:23:34,245 --> 00:23:37,253
You are losing the plot, Jude.
380
00:23:38,265 --> 00:23:41,257
Helen's been at the dressing-up box
again, has she?
381
00:23:41,265 --> 00:23:42,309
Just shut up.
What?
382
00:23:42,317 --> 00:23:44,313
You're drunk and
you're being an idiot.
383
00:23:44,317 --> 00:23:46,261
Oh-whoo!
384
00:23:46,265 --> 00:23:48,253
Get him then.
385
00:23:52,277 --> 00:23:54,241
♪ When I was in the army
386
00:23:54,245 --> 00:23:56,253
♪ I was a cavalry man, you know
387
00:23:56,257 --> 00:23:58,241
♪ And whenever I went on parade
388
00:23:58,245 --> 00:23:59,329
♪ A magnificent picture I made
389
00:24:00,237 --> 00:24:01,317
♪ With my galloping here
and my galloping there
390
00:24:01,321 --> 00:24:03,305
♪ This ridiculous habit I got
391
00:24:03,313 --> 00:24:05,297
♪ And I'm damned if I don't think
I'm galloping now
392
00:24:05,301 --> 00:24:07,273
♪ Whether up in the saddle or not
393
00:24:07,277 --> 00:24:09,301
♪ And the people, they stare at me so
394
00:24:09,305 --> 00:24:12,293
♪ For it matters not where I may go
395
00:24:12,297 --> 00:24:16,241
♪ It's my bumpity-bumpity-bumpity
396
00:24:16,245 --> 00:24:17,329
♪ As if I was riding my charger... ♪
397
00:24:28,241 --> 00:24:30,289
What's happening here then, eh?
398
00:24:30,297 --> 00:24:32,309
Piss off, Danny.
It's a bloody Hammond.
399
00:24:32,313 --> 00:24:34,265
You got to be kidding me.
400
00:24:34,273 --> 00:24:35,313
Ah!
Want me to break it?
401
00:24:35,321 --> 00:24:38,253
No. No.
Well, on your bike.
402
00:24:38,257 --> 00:24:39,301
You'll keep.
403
00:24:39,305 --> 00:24:41,253
You'll KEEP!
404
00:24:43,329 --> 00:24:45,317
He's a little treasure.
405
00:24:45,325 --> 00:24:47,305
Yeah. He's going to
be your brother-in-law.
406
00:24:47,309 --> 00:24:50,245
Don't...ruin it.
407
00:24:51,329 --> 00:24:54,237
♪ Bumpity-bumpity-bumpity-bump
408
00:24:54,241 --> 00:24:55,329
♪ As proud as an Indian rajah
409
00:24:55,333 --> 00:24:58,245
♪ All the girls declare
410
00:24:58,249 --> 00:25:00,265
♪ That I'm a gay old stager
411
00:25:00,269 --> 00:25:02,273
♪ Hey! Hey! Clear the way!
412
00:25:02,277 --> 00:25:04,317
♪ Here comes the galloping major. ♪
413
00:25:06,253 --> 00:25:08,265
That's a fine bit of woman.
414
00:25:09,277 --> 00:25:11,249
Away team, Mickey.
415
00:25:11,253 --> 00:25:13,277
Eh, yeah. We'll see.
416
00:25:14,329 --> 00:25:16,321
That was really good.
417
00:25:16,325 --> 00:25:18,277
Thank you.
418
00:25:18,281 --> 00:25:21,293
I was wondering, Kate...
419
00:25:21,297 --> 00:25:23,249
What?
420
00:25:23,257 --> 00:25:25,333
You're a great-looking girl,
see, so...
421
00:25:26,237 --> 00:25:27,297
I was hoping that...
422
00:25:28,309 --> 00:25:31,273
..maybe you might consider playing
for the home team now and again.
423
00:25:31,277 --> 00:25:32,313
(LAUGHS)
424
00:25:35,325 --> 00:25:37,281
Oh!
(LAUGHS)
425
00:25:37,285 --> 00:25:40,257
(GRUNTS)
426
00:25:40,261 --> 00:25:47,237
It is dawn on July 1, 1916.
427
00:25:47,245 --> 00:25:53,273
On this day,
58,000 British troops will die
428
00:25:53,277 --> 00:25:56,269
in the bloodiest day of our history.
429
00:25:58,249 --> 00:26:03,309
Amongst them were 88 members
of own Royal Midsomer Yeomanry.
430
00:26:03,317 --> 00:26:09,261
The day begins
with the artillery bombardment
431
00:26:09,269 --> 00:26:12,269
to get jolly Hun
to keep his head down.
432
00:26:12,273 --> 00:26:15,265
DISTANT BATTLE
433
00:26:15,269 --> 00:26:17,309
Now, watch it all go to hell.
434
00:26:17,313 --> 00:26:20,309
At 5am precisely
435
00:26:20,317 --> 00:26:25,305
a huge landmine planted directly
under the enemy lines
436
00:26:25,309 --> 00:26:27,257
is the signal to attack.
437
00:26:29,261 --> 00:26:30,301
DETONATOR WHIRS
438
00:26:31,325 --> 00:26:33,273
(VARIOUS GASPS)
439
00:26:33,277 --> 00:26:35,325
WHISTLE BLOWS
440
00:26:35,329 --> 00:26:37,309
(SOLDIERS YELL)
441
00:26:37,313 --> 00:26:39,249
Get out! Get out!
442
00:26:41,237 --> 00:26:43,309
Advance, boys!
Come on, men.
443
00:26:55,281 --> 00:26:56,321
Keep together.
444
00:26:58,333 --> 00:27:01,265
Alas...
445
00:27:01,273 --> 00:27:05,249
the artillery fire had
had little effect,
446
00:27:05,257 --> 00:27:09,333
and the German machine gunners
relentlessly mowed down our boys...
447
00:27:10,237 --> 00:27:11,289
(MEN SCREAM)
448
00:27:11,297 --> 00:27:15,285
..who gave their lives
for the kingdom - our country.
449
00:27:15,289 --> 00:27:18,277
MACHINE GUN BARKS
450
00:27:25,265 --> 00:27:28,301
EXPLOSIVE BOOMS ECHO
451
00:27:28,305 --> 00:27:32,277
(SOLDIERS SCREAM)
452
00:27:34,305 --> 00:27:37,309
(SOLDIERS CRY OUT IN PAIN)
453
00:27:40,261 --> 00:27:43,325
BIRDSONG
454
00:27:45,249 --> 00:27:47,241
Quite moving, really.
455
00:27:49,309 --> 00:27:51,277
Fall in. Come on.
456
00:27:51,281 --> 00:27:53,329
That's it. Fall in. Fall in.
457
00:27:53,333 --> 00:27:55,269
Go on!
458
00:27:57,241 --> 00:27:59,261
Royal Midsomers!
459
00:27:59,265 --> 00:28:03,237
Ah...left, quick march!
460
00:28:03,241 --> 00:28:06,317
Left. Left. Left, right, left.
461
00:28:06,321 --> 00:28:08,333
Left. Left.
462
00:28:09,237 --> 00:28:11,257
That way. That way. Left, right.
463
00:28:11,261 --> 00:28:12,325
Left. Left.
464
00:28:19,321 --> 00:28:21,261
What?
465
00:28:23,329 --> 00:28:26,237
Why did you marry Dad?
466
00:28:26,241 --> 00:28:27,277
Oh.
467
00:28:29,241 --> 00:28:32,301
Well, the Harcourts
were military as well,
468
00:28:32,309 --> 00:28:36,261
so it was a sort of...
amalgamation of the regiments.
469
00:28:36,269 --> 00:28:38,261
A bit like the Surreys
and the Midsomers.
470
00:28:38,265 --> 00:28:39,329
But Daddy doesn't like women.
471
00:28:41,333 --> 00:28:43,305
He's queer as a coot.
472
00:28:43,313 --> 00:28:47,257
Well, obviously he knew
how to do his duty by his family.
473
00:28:47,261 --> 00:28:49,329
A couple of times, at least.
474
00:28:50,237 --> 00:28:53,301
(SIGHS) God, no wonder
you're such a basket case.
475
00:28:53,305 --> 00:28:57,257
Heh. Thank you, darling.
476
00:29:06,309 --> 00:29:08,269
Henry?
477
00:29:08,273 --> 00:29:10,269
Hm! Thank you.
478
00:29:10,273 --> 00:29:11,309
(SIGHS)
479
00:29:15,297 --> 00:29:17,313
The whole family's going to hell.
480
00:29:18,321 --> 00:29:20,269
Yes, Henry.
481
00:29:20,273 --> 00:29:22,249
Sophie...
482
00:29:22,253 --> 00:29:25,281
Is she a... Is she a communist?
483
00:29:25,285 --> 00:29:27,301
No, Henry. She's a social worker.
484
00:29:30,237 --> 00:29:33,269
Well, Kate...what's wrong with her?
485
00:29:33,277 --> 00:29:37,309
Why does she... Why does...
Why does she dress like that?
486
00:29:37,313 --> 00:29:39,265
I can't imagine.
487
00:29:39,269 --> 00:29:42,241
And Johnny... (LAUGHS)
488
00:29:43,269 --> 00:29:47,305
If it hadn't been for you and me,
where would this whole family be now?
489
00:29:47,309 --> 00:29:49,305
Hey, Bella? (CHUCKLES)
490
00:29:49,309 --> 00:29:51,321
Duty. That's what matters.
491
00:29:53,269 --> 00:29:55,249
Duty.
492
00:30:02,313 --> 00:30:05,265
Good night, Henry.
Right-o.
493
00:30:08,321 --> 00:30:10,333
(SIGHS)
494
00:30:45,333 --> 00:30:48,241
FOOTSTEPS
Left. Left.
495
00:30:48,245 --> 00:30:50,249
Left, right, left.
496
00:30:50,253 --> 00:30:52,253
And...halt!
497
00:30:52,257 --> 00:30:56,237
Right. Keep quiet.
498
00:30:57,249 --> 00:30:58,297
Keep low.
499
00:30:58,301 --> 00:31:00,237
Let's go.
500
00:31:16,253 --> 00:31:17,293
Ugh.
501
00:31:39,261 --> 00:31:41,257
(GRUMBLES)
502
00:31:47,313 --> 00:31:51,333
MEN WHISTLE WARTIME SONG
503
00:32:08,253 --> 00:32:10,261
Royal Midsomers...halt!
504
00:32:12,285 --> 00:32:13,333
Squad...
505
00:32:14,237 --> 00:32:16,253
take your positions.
506
00:32:26,249 --> 00:32:28,289
Henry Hammond,
507
00:32:28,297 --> 00:32:32,317
you have been found guilty
of cowardice and desertion
508
00:32:32,321 --> 00:32:34,317
in the face of the enemy.
509
00:32:34,325 --> 00:32:37,273
It is the verdict of this
court marshal
510
00:32:37,277 --> 00:32:40,261
that you be executed by firing squad.
511
00:32:41,269 --> 00:32:43,249
Have you anything to say?
512
00:32:43,253 --> 00:32:46,245
(GRUNTS)
513
00:32:47,305 --> 00:32:49,297
So sorry...sir.
514
00:32:50,321 --> 00:32:53,309
Final words...General?
515
00:32:53,313 --> 00:32:57,261
You miserable little oink!
516
00:32:57,269 --> 00:33:00,289
I'll have the lot of you
for assault.
517
00:33:01,329 --> 00:33:03,273
But you'll be dead, sir.
518
00:33:05,245 --> 00:33:07,245
Just like Tommy Hicks' death.
519
00:33:07,253 --> 00:33:10,241
Do you really think
I'm going to be intimidated
520
00:33:10,249 --> 00:33:13,245
by a pathetic bunch
of drunken bank clerks
521
00:33:13,249 --> 00:33:15,333
and a cocky corporal, do you?
522
00:33:16,241 --> 00:33:19,285
You're nothing, Ryan,
nothing but a tick.
523
00:33:20,297 --> 00:33:22,297
Now, undo my arms,
I'll knock you down.
524
00:33:22,301 --> 00:33:24,277
Firing squad!
525
00:33:24,281 --> 00:33:25,317
'Shun!
526
00:33:28,273 --> 00:33:31,257
Oh, come. Look, he's had it
coming to him for ages.
527
00:33:33,321 --> 00:33:35,261
Take aim.
528
00:33:36,293 --> 00:33:37,333
TAKE AIM!
529
00:33:41,333 --> 00:33:44,261
Say goodbye, General.
530
00:33:47,265 --> 00:33:49,257
Fire!
GUNSHOTS CRACK
531
00:33:57,237 --> 00:33:59,281
Now you how it feels.
532
00:34:02,285 --> 00:34:06,281
Dah! (CACKLES)
533
00:34:06,285 --> 00:34:07,333
Pathetic bunch, all of you.
534
00:34:09,241 --> 00:34:11,241
Now take me home.
535
00:34:11,245 --> 00:34:12,317
To hell with you.
536
00:34:12,321 --> 00:34:15,241
Come on. Let's go.
537
00:34:15,245 --> 00:34:16,301
Right turn.
538
00:34:16,305 --> 00:34:18,305
Quick...march!
539
00:34:18,309 --> 00:34:21,305
Left. Right. Left. Right.
540
00:34:21,309 --> 00:34:23,317
Left. Left. Right.
541
00:34:23,321 --> 00:34:25,273
He's got a lot of balls.
542
00:34:25,277 --> 00:34:27,273
Oh, shut up!
543
00:34:27,277 --> 00:34:28,325
Left, right, left.
544
00:34:28,329 --> 00:34:31,265
Left. Left.
545
00:34:31,269 --> 00:34:33,253
Left, right, left.
546
00:34:35,321 --> 00:34:37,293
BUSH CRACKLES
547
00:34:39,301 --> 00:34:41,293
Who's there?
548
00:34:48,329 --> 00:34:50,269
What do you want?
549
00:35:01,293 --> 00:35:04,317
SOFT WHIRRING
550
00:35:19,285 --> 00:35:20,325
HORN TOOTS
551
00:35:40,261 --> 00:35:42,313
George?
I don't know what happened.
552
00:35:42,317 --> 00:35:44,281
I don't know.
553
00:35:44,289 --> 00:35:46,325
I was just doing
my usual milk round.
554
00:35:46,333 --> 00:35:50,261
Now I know Armadale is tricky,
so I-I was being extra careful.
555
00:35:50,269 --> 00:35:53,265
This is Mr Bullard. Right down
the middle of the road he come.
556
00:35:53,273 --> 00:35:56,245
I swerved,
but h-he turned right back into me.
557
00:35:57,289 --> 00:35:59,261
Turned his chair?
Aye.
558
00:35:59,269 --> 00:36:02,261
Deliberately come into me.
I doubt that.
559
00:36:02,265 --> 00:36:04,301
Well... It's the truth.
560
00:36:04,309 --> 00:36:06,293
Very difficult to
operate a wheelchair
561
00:36:06,301 --> 00:36:08,317
when someone's shot
half your head off.
562
00:36:13,293 --> 00:36:15,325
Are you born sensitive, George,
563
00:36:15,333 --> 00:36:18,293
or did you develop
the skill over the years?
564
00:36:33,281 --> 00:36:36,277
Who is that?
Derek Watson, sir.
565
00:36:36,285 --> 00:36:39,285
Found him singing in a ditch.
Interesting story, though.
566
00:36:43,249 --> 00:36:44,305
It was a joke!
567
00:36:44,313 --> 00:36:46,321
We thought we'd just
freak the old bugger out.
568
00:36:46,325 --> 00:36:48,269
But it didn't work?
569
00:36:48,273 --> 00:36:51,325
No! He wasn't a person. He was a...
570
00:36:51,329 --> 00:36:53,273
bloody tank.
571
00:36:55,301 --> 00:36:57,257
He knew we wouldn't kill him.
572
00:36:57,265 --> 00:36:58,317
He wasn't the least
bit frightened by us.
573
00:36:58,325 --> 00:37:01,301
So it all backfired.
Aye.
574
00:37:01,305 --> 00:37:03,293
A crazy idea.
575
00:37:03,301 --> 00:37:07,237
Looked good when we'd had a few
pints, but...we didn't kill him.
576
00:37:08,245 --> 00:37:09,305
Now you've been through us all.
577
00:37:09,313 --> 00:37:11,317
We're not a hit squad.
we're just a bunch of idiots!
578
00:37:16,245 --> 00:37:17,301
What?
579
00:37:17,309 --> 00:37:22,257
Your friends may be as moronic
as you say they are, Mickey,
580
00:37:22,261 --> 00:37:23,321
but you are not.
581
00:37:23,325 --> 00:37:25,301
Yes, I am.
582
00:37:25,305 --> 00:37:28,301
No, you're not. You leave the folly
583
00:37:28,309 --> 00:37:31,289
and, lo, someone who just
happens to have a gun
584
00:37:31,297 --> 00:37:34,257
happens to be passing by
and shoots Henry.
585
00:37:34,261 --> 00:37:36,281
How very fortunate for them.
586
00:37:36,289 --> 00:37:39,289
It was a coincidence.
They must have followed us, sir.
587
00:37:42,253 --> 00:37:43,333
Would you excuse us?
588
00:38:00,241 --> 00:38:01,289
What do you think?
589
00:38:01,293 --> 00:38:03,305
I don't know.
590
00:38:03,313 --> 00:38:05,305
Well, that's no way
to plan a murder, is it?
591
00:38:05,313 --> 00:38:08,281
A bunch of drunken yobs,
obscure location,
592
00:38:08,285 --> 00:38:10,245
plenty of witnesses.
593
00:38:17,297 --> 00:38:21,261
Mickey, you told someone, didn't you?
594
00:38:21,265 --> 00:38:22,309
Mm?
595
00:38:22,313 --> 00:38:25,249
And they piggybacked on your plans.
596
00:38:25,257 --> 00:38:28,261
Who was it, Mickey? Who did you
tell about your little game?
597
00:38:28,265 --> 00:38:30,265
Oh, just my mates, sir.
598
00:38:30,269 --> 00:38:31,329
Apart from your mates,
599
00:38:32,237 --> 00:38:34,245
who else could have known,
could have overheard something?
600
00:38:34,249 --> 00:38:36,237
Anyone.
601
00:38:36,245 --> 00:38:38,293
Guys might have told
their wives, whatever.
602
00:38:38,297 --> 00:38:40,313
It was just a joke!
603
00:38:40,317 --> 00:38:42,265
Wasn't bloody World War III!
604
00:38:46,305 --> 00:38:48,293
OK, Mickey, get out.
605
00:38:50,277 --> 00:38:52,245
You're still a suspect.
Yes, sir.
606
00:38:53,305 --> 00:38:57,245
So...who didn't like Henry Hammond?
607
00:38:57,249 --> 00:38:59,293
Half the county.
608
00:38:59,301 --> 00:39:02,293
But let's start
with his natural enemies.
609
00:39:02,297 --> 00:39:03,333
DOORBELL CHIMES
610
00:39:07,253 --> 00:39:10,325
Oh, Mr Barnaby!
It's tragic, isn't it?
611
00:39:10,329 --> 00:39:12,317
Yes. Yes, it is.
612
00:39:12,325 --> 00:39:14,329
Very tragic.
Tragic.
613
00:39:15,237 --> 00:39:17,241
The way when anything happens
to a Hammond,
614
00:39:17,249 --> 00:39:20,257
the police are round here faster
than you can say 'hide the silver'.
615
00:39:20,265 --> 00:39:24,241
Mrs Hicks, I am pursuing
normal lines of inquiry.
616
00:39:24,249 --> 00:39:27,249
Of a so-called gentry who obviously
have you in their pocket.
617
00:39:30,273 --> 00:39:32,321
Mrs Hicks, will you mind telling me
where you were last night, please?
618
00:39:34,281 --> 00:39:36,261
We were all here.
619
00:39:36,265 --> 00:39:38,289
I was asleep.
620
00:39:38,293 --> 00:39:40,253
In my study.
621
00:39:40,261 --> 00:39:42,329
In your study.
He snores.
622
00:39:42,333 --> 00:39:45,265
So I sent him to his study.
623
00:39:45,273 --> 00:39:47,269
FOOS-BALL BALL ROLLS
You were out and about, were you?
624
00:39:47,273 --> 00:39:49,261
Well, only for about ten minutes.
625
00:39:49,269 --> 00:39:52,245
Then I could still hear him
snoring through the floor.
626
00:39:52,253 --> 00:39:55,261
It's the cheese that does it.
He eats it last thing.
627
00:39:55,265 --> 00:39:58,257
FOOS-BALL BALL ROLLS
628
00:39:58,261 --> 00:39:59,305
Will you?
629
00:39:59,309 --> 00:40:01,257
What?
630
00:40:01,261 --> 00:40:03,249
Will you give that a REST...please?
631
00:40:04,325 --> 00:40:07,237
Thank you. Where were you?
632
00:40:09,253 --> 00:40:10,297
In my bed.
633
00:40:11,333 --> 00:40:13,313
On my own.
634
00:40:13,321 --> 00:40:17,253
I checked on him too,
just to tuck him in.
635
00:40:17,257 --> 00:40:19,273
Mum!
636
00:40:22,261 --> 00:40:23,309
DOOR CLOSES
637
00:40:23,313 --> 00:40:25,249
So...
638
00:40:30,305 --> 00:40:32,261
Where were you?
639
00:40:32,269 --> 00:40:34,273
I was just having a walk,
clear my head a bit.
640
00:40:34,277 --> 00:40:37,237
You were seeing your tart.
641
00:40:37,241 --> 00:40:39,321
Jude, there is no tart.
642
00:40:39,325 --> 00:40:42,245
I'll go public.
643
00:40:42,253 --> 00:40:44,309
Jude...
Take you apart.
644
00:40:44,317 --> 00:40:48,253
You think I don't read those papers
you give me to sign?
645
00:40:48,261 --> 00:40:52,257
You think I don't know what
you've put in my name? Darling!
646
00:40:52,261 --> 00:40:54,321
You think you'll get any of it back?
647
00:40:54,325 --> 00:40:58,241
Jude, that is my operating capital.
648
00:40:58,245 --> 00:40:59,301
Mine now.
649
00:41:00,317 --> 00:41:05,281
And when I find your slut,
I'll have ALL your money.
650
00:41:05,289 --> 00:41:07,281
And you'll be
in the slammer thinking,
651
00:41:07,289 --> 00:41:11,241
"What a silly boy I was
for cheating on my lovely wife."
652
00:41:11,245 --> 00:41:13,277
But you are my lovely wife.
653
00:41:13,281 --> 00:41:15,301
I love only you.
654
00:41:15,305 --> 00:41:17,321
Genuinely.
655
00:41:17,325 --> 00:41:19,273
Honestly.
656
00:41:21,297 --> 00:41:23,237
Oh.
657
00:41:25,269 --> 00:41:27,245
Really, Davey?
658
00:41:27,249 --> 00:41:29,317
Really, Judy.
659
00:41:31,265 --> 00:41:33,285
Now, isn't that nice?
660
00:41:38,285 --> 00:41:42,237
TELEPHONE RINGS
661
00:41:46,277 --> 00:41:47,325
Martin.
662
00:41:47,329 --> 00:41:49,325
Ah? I was ringing about Henry.
663
00:41:49,329 --> 00:41:51,305
Yes?
664
00:41:51,309 --> 00:41:54,269
Nothing to do with you, was it?
665
00:41:54,273 --> 00:41:55,325
Martin!
666
00:41:55,329 --> 00:41:57,297
Well, it puts you one step closer.
667
00:41:57,301 --> 00:41:59,301
Just SHUT UP!
668
00:42:21,333 --> 00:42:24,265
SOBBING
669
00:42:33,265 --> 00:42:34,333
Ooh.
670
00:42:35,241 --> 00:42:37,237
Dickens.
Monsters.
671
00:42:37,241 --> 00:42:40,237
(SOBS)
672
00:42:46,325 --> 00:42:52,273
My wife has a few problems in the...
um...emotional-stability area.
673
00:42:52,281 --> 00:42:56,249
Something like this tends to...
Maybe we should go to the study.
674
00:42:56,253 --> 00:42:57,289
Please?
675
00:43:00,297 --> 00:43:03,257
You go talk to the Hammond daughters.
676
00:43:07,301 --> 00:43:10,317
I suppose you want to know where we
all were at the time of the murder.
677
00:43:10,321 --> 00:43:12,257
Yes, sir.
678
00:43:13,277 --> 00:43:16,313
(SOBS)
679
00:43:23,329 --> 00:43:26,301
So, you and your wife
have separate bedrooms.
680
00:43:26,305 --> 00:43:29,333
Mr Barnaby, please don't be so coy.
681
00:43:30,237 --> 00:43:32,305
This is a small community and my...
682
00:43:32,313 --> 00:43:35,325
proclivities
are not exactly unknown.
683
00:43:35,329 --> 00:43:38,269
I-I-I was not aware.
684
00:43:38,273 --> 00:43:39,329
And you do have two daughters.
685
00:43:40,237 --> 00:43:42,301
The facts are not
mutually exclusive.
686
00:43:42,305 --> 00:43:44,301
Maybe you should read a little more.
687
00:43:44,309 --> 00:43:48,241
So, how were you getting on
with your late father?
688
00:43:48,245 --> 00:43:51,257
My father was real army,
689
00:43:51,265 --> 00:43:55,277
the last in the long line of
stalwart Hammond warriors.
690
00:43:57,249 --> 00:43:59,329
I was his worst nightmare.
691
00:43:59,333 --> 00:44:01,325
And he mine.
692
00:44:03,325 --> 00:44:05,333
Well, if you really must know,
693
00:44:06,241 --> 00:44:08,261
around that time I was having
a bit of serious snog.
694
00:44:08,265 --> 00:44:09,321
Can I have the gentleman's name?
695
00:44:09,325 --> 00:44:12,277
The gentleman's name was Caroline.
696
00:44:12,281 --> 00:44:13,317
Caroline?
697
00:44:15,289 --> 00:44:18,261
Oh. Right.
698
00:44:18,265 --> 00:44:20,237
Right. Right. But I...
699
00:44:20,241 --> 00:44:22,265
I apologise for assuming...
700
00:44:22,269 --> 00:44:23,321
(CLEARS THROAT)
701
00:44:23,329 --> 00:44:26,253
Look, you really should talk
to my mother.
702
00:44:26,257 --> 00:44:28,249
She holds the keys to this family.
703
00:44:28,257 --> 00:44:30,305
She knows what goes on
behind the closed doors.
704
00:44:30,309 --> 00:44:32,305
That's why she's such a mess.
705
00:44:32,309 --> 00:44:35,245
Mrs Hammond, I'm sorry,
706
00:44:35,253 --> 00:44:38,273
I know this is probably not the time
to be asking tedious questions.
707
00:44:38,281 --> 00:44:41,265
But you know the longer a suspect
goes unapprehended
708
00:44:41,269 --> 00:44:43,265
the more likely he is to...to...
709
00:44:44,289 --> 00:44:46,309
Then again, if you don't feel up...
710
00:44:46,313 --> 00:44:48,313
No, no, no, no, no.
711
00:44:48,317 --> 00:44:50,293
It's all right. I'm all right.
712
00:44:50,297 --> 00:44:53,253
What... What do you want to know?
713
00:44:53,261 --> 00:44:56,261
Now, are you sure?
Yes, for God's sake!
714
00:44:56,269 --> 00:44:59,237
Henry dealt in certainties
and now he is certainly dead.
715
00:45:00,265 --> 00:45:03,253
We will mourn for him
when the enemy is routed.
716
00:45:03,257 --> 00:45:05,285
Is there an enemy, Mrs Hammond?
717
00:45:05,293 --> 00:45:07,289
Well, he didn't blow
his own head off, did he?
718
00:45:07,297 --> 00:45:10,237
Oh, I'm sorry,
I thought you meant a specific enemy.
719
00:45:10,241 --> 00:45:11,329
Well, yes, I do.
720
00:45:11,333 --> 00:45:13,285
The Hickses.
721
00:45:13,289 --> 00:45:16,301
This is what they exist for,
722
00:45:16,305 --> 00:45:19,249
to make our lives a wasteland.
723
00:45:19,257 --> 00:45:22,285
You were very close
to your father-in-law.
724
00:45:24,305 --> 00:45:26,245
Loved him.
725
00:45:28,245 --> 00:45:29,297
(Hated him.)
726
00:45:29,301 --> 00:45:33,269
Love...hate...
727
00:45:35,241 --> 00:45:38,281
What's the difference, Mr Barnaby?
728
00:45:40,269 --> 00:45:41,333
What's the difference?
729
00:45:57,269 --> 00:45:59,273
Your whereabouts last night,
Ms Hammond?
730
00:45:59,277 --> 00:46:01,281
I was having my portrait painted.
731
00:46:01,285 --> 00:46:03,277
All night?
732
00:46:03,281 --> 00:46:04,333
Except for when I was having sex.
733
00:46:05,241 --> 00:46:06,317
With a man?
What?
734
00:46:06,321 --> 00:46:09,253
Sorry. I'm sorry. No, no.
735
00:46:09,257 --> 00:46:10,301
Ah? I was...
736
00:46:10,305 --> 00:46:12,249
Talking to my sister.
737
00:46:12,253 --> 00:46:13,313
Yeah.
738
00:46:13,317 --> 00:46:15,261
Ah? Your grandfather...
739
00:46:15,265 --> 00:46:17,297
Was a bore and a bully.
740
00:46:17,301 --> 00:46:19,269
And who did he bully?
741
00:46:19,273 --> 00:46:21,285
Everyone. My parents.
742
00:46:21,289 --> 00:46:23,325
My dark-side-of-the-moon sister.
743
00:46:23,333 --> 00:46:26,273
They didn't do all that damage
to themselves, you know.
744
00:46:26,281 --> 00:46:28,293
But would anyone
have wanted him killed?
745
00:46:28,297 --> 00:46:30,245
Well, obviously, someone did.
746
00:46:30,249 --> 00:46:31,321
A Hicks, perhaps.
747
00:46:31,325 --> 00:46:33,305
I do hope not.
748
00:46:33,313 --> 00:46:35,285
I'd hate to marry into
a family of murderers.
749
00:46:36,293 --> 00:46:38,241
Marry?
750
00:46:38,245 --> 00:46:40,317
Yes. I'm marrying Will Hicks.
751
00:46:40,325 --> 00:46:44,321
And...how will that go down
with your respective families?
752
00:46:44,325 --> 00:46:47,289
I don't care, Mr Jones.
753
00:46:47,297 --> 00:46:50,269
I've never been part of
this idiotic vendetta.
754
00:46:50,277 --> 00:46:53,321
Now, anything else? I do have
half of Eastern Europe out there.
755
00:46:56,305 --> 00:47:01,245
(CHILDREN YELL IN DISTANCE)
756
00:47:02,289 --> 00:47:07,257
I'll miss him. Bugging Henry
gave me something worth living for.
757
00:47:07,261 --> 00:47:09,293
Might as well croak myself now.
758
00:47:09,301 --> 00:47:11,321
Oh, come on, man.
There's no need for that.
759
00:47:11,325 --> 00:47:13,277
What about Biddy?
760
00:47:13,285 --> 00:47:16,241
Ah! She's a nutter.
You don't want to listen to her.
761
00:47:16,249 --> 00:47:19,249
She talks cobblers from
breakfast to dinner.
762
00:47:19,253 --> 00:47:20,289
I'm only in there for the sex.
763
00:47:21,301 --> 00:47:23,269
She's very...
Right. Thank you.
764
00:47:25,289 --> 00:47:27,321
Oh, so you could have left
without her noticing too.
765
00:47:27,325 --> 00:47:30,269
Doubt it. Doesn't miss a thing.
766
00:47:31,321 --> 00:47:33,329
She's very different from her sister.
767
00:47:34,237 --> 00:47:36,277
Can't believe
they're from the same stock.
768
00:47:36,285 --> 00:47:38,321
But you're very different
from your brother too.
769
00:47:40,253 --> 00:47:41,333
There's no accounting, is there?
770
00:47:45,277 --> 00:47:47,245
Keep pushin', keep pushin'.
771
00:47:47,253 --> 00:47:49,237
Go on, Johnny.
Straight left-right, then finish.
772
00:47:50,249 --> 00:47:51,325
Good work. Good work.
(GASPS, LAUGHS)
773
00:47:51,329 --> 00:47:54,241
OK. OK. Thank you, thank you.
774
00:47:59,313 --> 00:48:02,325
BOXERS SPAR IN BACKGROUND
775
00:48:07,293 --> 00:48:09,241
That's it. Watch it, Dad.
776
00:48:09,245 --> 00:48:11,241
That's it. That's it.
777
00:48:24,265 --> 00:48:27,309
You know, Simon,
ever since my father died
778
00:48:27,317 --> 00:48:32,257
I feel as though a great weight
has been lifted off me.
779
00:48:32,261 --> 00:48:34,245
Mm-hm.
780
00:48:34,249 --> 00:48:36,297
He never understood me.
781
00:48:36,301 --> 00:48:39,261
Oh, I think he did, Johnny.
782
00:48:42,269 --> 00:48:44,285
What the hell are you doing?
783
00:48:44,289 --> 00:48:46,285
Rubbing you up the wrong way.
784
00:48:46,289 --> 00:48:48,277
What do you want?
785
00:48:48,285 --> 00:48:50,277
A chat.
About what?
786
00:48:50,285 --> 00:48:53,289
The unpublished codicil
to your grandfather's will.
787
00:48:54,305 --> 00:48:56,253
Don't know what you're talking about.
788
00:48:56,257 --> 00:48:58,285
Your Grandad Dougie decreed
789
00:48:58,293 --> 00:49:00,333
that when the Hammond
family trust wraps up,
790
00:49:01,241 --> 00:49:02,329
then your north meadow
comes to the Hicks.
791
00:49:02,333 --> 00:49:04,277
I wonder why he did that.
792
00:49:04,281 --> 00:49:06,313
He was disturbed.
793
00:49:06,317 --> 00:49:08,265
He was guilt-ridden.
794
00:49:09,333 --> 00:49:13,253
Anyway, if my family's gonna get
the meadow for free one day,
795
00:49:13,261 --> 00:49:15,281
why don't you and I
do a little deal now
796
00:49:15,289 --> 00:49:17,261
and you can cop yourself
a tidy sum today.
797
00:49:17,265 --> 00:49:20,257
Sell Hammond land to a Hicks? Ha!
798
00:49:20,265 --> 00:49:23,245
So you can do some dodgy deal
and build all over it.
799
00:49:23,249 --> 00:49:26,249
How stupid do you think I am?
800
00:49:27,289 --> 00:49:29,257
Get out of here.
801
00:49:29,265 --> 00:49:32,257
The times,
they are a' changing, Johnny.
802
00:49:32,261 --> 00:49:33,317
The servant should be the master.
803
00:49:39,257 --> 00:49:41,245
Well done, Nick.
804
00:49:41,253 --> 00:49:44,241
That was quick.
Ha-ha.
805
00:49:44,249 --> 00:49:48,269
They didn't even have to dive.
It was 6ft from the edge.
806
00:49:48,277 --> 00:49:50,273
How deep is it there?
18 inches.
807
00:49:50,277 --> 00:49:51,321
How deep in the middle?
808
00:49:51,325 --> 00:49:53,305
25ft.
809
00:49:53,309 --> 00:49:55,257
He wanted us to find it.
810
00:49:55,261 --> 00:49:56,325
What is it?
811
00:49:56,333 --> 00:50:01,237
.455 service revolver,
issued about 1916.
812
00:50:01,241 --> 00:50:03,285
And how do you know that, Mr Bullard?
813
00:50:03,293 --> 00:50:06,257
My belief in the great
circle of life, Tom.
814
00:50:06,261 --> 00:50:08,273
What goes around comes around.
815
00:50:08,277 --> 00:50:10,265
Oh. (LAUGHS)
816
00:50:10,269 --> 00:50:11,305
What?
817
00:50:12,325 --> 00:50:15,309
Married.
Sophie and I are getting married.
818
00:50:15,313 --> 00:50:17,297
I told you. Didn't I tell you?
819
00:50:17,305 --> 00:50:20,301
But she's a Hammond.
Traitor.
820
00:50:20,305 --> 00:50:22,285
You total traitor.
821
00:50:22,289 --> 00:50:24,265
She's having you on.
822
00:50:24,273 --> 00:50:25,329
She'll leave you crying
at the altar.
823
00:50:25,333 --> 00:50:29,245
Hm! Thanks, Mum. Granddad?
824
00:50:29,249 --> 00:50:30,313
Go for it, son!
825
00:50:30,321 --> 00:50:32,329
Dad!
Well, they love each other.
826
00:50:32,333 --> 00:50:34,297
History's history.
827
00:50:34,305 --> 00:50:36,261
It's bloody rubbish, anyway,
isn't it?
828
00:50:36,269 --> 00:50:39,269
You've changed your tune.
No. It was fun.
829
00:50:39,277 --> 00:50:42,297
But it ain't any more, is it?
Not since Henry got killed.
830
00:50:42,301 --> 00:50:44,237
Dave?
831
00:50:45,329 --> 00:50:47,329
Say...something.
832
00:50:50,301 --> 00:50:52,313
I've got to send some emails.
833
00:50:58,313 --> 00:51:00,325
MACHINE WHINES
834
00:51:00,333 --> 00:51:04,249
It looks like Bullard
was surprisingly correct.
835
00:51:04,253 --> 00:51:05,333
Regulation service revolver,
836
00:51:06,241 --> 00:51:09,273
issued to Dougie Hammond
in the September of 1915.
837
00:51:10,289 --> 00:51:14,281
So it seems likely that the same gun
was used to finish off Tommy Hicks.
838
00:51:14,285 --> 00:51:16,237
Very poetic.
839
00:51:16,245 --> 00:51:19,301
Gun was reported stolen from
the Hammonds' five years ago.
840
00:51:19,309 --> 00:51:22,309
Danny Hicks was questioned because
he already had juvenile form.
841
00:51:22,317 --> 00:51:25,245
And his prints were found
all over the gun cabinet,
842
00:51:25,249 --> 00:51:26,293
but nothing came of it.
843
00:51:26,297 --> 00:51:28,265
Why was that?
844
00:51:28,273 --> 00:51:31,285
Looks like the Hammonds
didn't press charges.
845
00:51:31,293 --> 00:51:33,257
You'd think the Hammonds
would leap at the chance
846
00:51:33,261 --> 00:51:34,333
to nobble a Hicks, wouldn't you?
847
00:51:35,241 --> 00:51:36,293
TELEPHONE RINGS
Keep digging.
848
00:51:41,305 --> 00:51:43,253
Where's he gone?
849
00:51:43,257 --> 00:51:45,249
God knows.
850
00:51:45,253 --> 00:51:47,309
'He does that sometimes.'
851
00:51:51,261 --> 00:51:52,325
MAN: There you are, Biddy.
852
00:51:52,333 --> 00:51:55,321
Get this to the chemist and
make sure you take the whole course.
853
00:51:55,325 --> 00:51:57,269
Ha!
854
00:51:57,273 --> 00:51:58,321
Hello, Tom.
855
00:51:58,325 --> 00:52:00,277
What's the matter? Is the door stuck?
856
00:52:00,285 --> 00:52:03,245
Biddy likes to be treated
through the window.
857
00:52:04,257 --> 00:52:07,269
Let a doctor in the house,
and you're on your way out.
858
00:52:07,277 --> 00:52:10,241
What about police officers, Biddy,
are they allowed in?
859
00:52:10,245 --> 00:52:12,309
Just don't nick anything.
860
00:52:12,313 --> 00:52:14,269
Thank you.
861
00:52:14,273 --> 00:52:15,309
Ha!
862
00:52:17,313 --> 00:52:20,273
CATS MEOW
863
00:52:20,277 --> 00:52:21,313
DOOR CLOSES
864
00:52:24,305 --> 00:52:27,241
That smells adequately revolting.
865
00:52:27,245 --> 00:52:29,277
It's not for eating, it's for feet.
866
00:52:29,285 --> 00:52:32,241
Oh, for feet, is it?
Well, I'm very glad.
867
00:52:32,249 --> 00:52:34,253
So, what do you want?
Hammond.
868
00:52:34,257 --> 00:52:35,321
Henry? Well, he's dead.
869
00:52:35,325 --> 00:52:37,333
No. Dougie Hammond, Henry's father.
870
00:52:38,237 --> 00:52:39,309
Ooh, dead a long time.
871
00:52:39,317 --> 00:52:42,257
Yeah. I know he's dead.
He died in 1935.
872
00:52:42,265 --> 00:52:45,265
Well, I never knew him.
How old do you think I am?
873
00:52:45,273 --> 00:52:47,289
But your mum knew him.
But not me.
874
00:52:47,297 --> 00:52:49,305
No, not you.
No, not me. No.
875
00:52:49,309 --> 00:52:51,325
Did she ever mention him?
876
00:52:51,329 --> 00:52:56,281
She said he was...sensitive.
877
00:52:56,289 --> 00:53:01,297
And what killed Dougie Hammond
so early in his life then?
878
00:53:01,301 --> 00:53:05,245
Ooh, he was a right old worry-bags.
879
00:53:05,253 --> 00:53:08,265
"Guilt", my mum said,
after what he'd done to Tommy.
880
00:53:08,273 --> 00:53:11,313
Oh, he spent all the time in church
praying for forgiveness
881
00:53:11,317 --> 00:53:13,329
and promising to make amends.
882
00:53:14,237 --> 00:53:15,297
And did he?
What?
883
00:53:15,301 --> 00:53:17,265
Make amends.
884
00:53:17,273 --> 00:53:19,305
He looked after his family.
What does that mean?
885
00:53:19,309 --> 00:53:23,281
Well, don't ask me.
886
00:53:23,289 --> 00:53:27,277
I'm just a daft old witch.
Ask anybody, they'll tell you.
887
00:53:27,285 --> 00:53:31,305
Biddy Dixon, fiddle-de-de,
daft as a brush.
888
00:53:31,309 --> 00:53:35,237
(CACKLES)
889
00:53:35,245 --> 00:53:40,305
So that's, "Congratulations, Soph,
we're all so happy for you," is it?
890
00:53:45,269 --> 00:53:46,309
You are kidding?
891
00:53:47,317 --> 00:53:49,285
No.
892
00:53:49,289 --> 00:53:51,253
But Will's a Hicks.
893
00:53:51,257 --> 00:53:53,281
Yes, Daddy. Well done.
894
00:53:53,285 --> 00:53:55,333
I bet he wants a dowry.
895
00:53:56,241 --> 00:53:58,269
The Hicks' always want something
of ours - our land, our money!
896
00:53:58,273 --> 00:53:59,321
We haven't got any money!
897
00:53:59,325 --> 00:54:01,333
And, God, even with Grandpa dead
898
00:54:02,241 --> 00:54:04,289
we don't get anything until
you fall off your perch.
899
00:54:04,297 --> 00:54:06,313
And what is the point of land
if you can't FLOG it?!
900
00:54:13,253 --> 00:54:15,237
Mummy.
Mm?
901
00:54:15,241 --> 00:54:16,285
What do you think?
902
00:54:16,289 --> 00:54:17,333
About what?
903
00:54:18,237 --> 00:54:20,249
Can you join us for a minute?
904
00:54:20,253 --> 00:54:22,317
Me marrying Will Hicks.
905
00:54:22,321 --> 00:54:25,253
Oh. I'm... I-I...
906
00:54:25,257 --> 00:54:28,245
I think it's...terribly amusing.
907
00:54:28,249 --> 00:54:33,257
(GIGGLES MANICALLY)
908
00:54:33,265 --> 00:54:37,237
I'm so sorry, please excuse me.
It's been a very stressful week.
909
00:54:37,241 --> 00:54:41,249
(LAUGHS HEARTILY)
910
00:54:41,253 --> 00:54:45,241
(CACKLES)
911
00:54:48,253 --> 00:54:50,301
Could you pass the salt, please?
912
00:54:50,305 --> 00:54:54,285
SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS
913
00:55:47,249 --> 00:55:49,273
CAR APPROACHES
914
00:55:49,277 --> 00:55:50,321
CAR HAND-BRAKE ENGAGED
915
00:55:50,325 --> 00:55:54,313
SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC CONTINUES
916
00:55:54,317 --> 00:55:57,257
DOOR OPENS, CLOSES
917
00:56:08,325 --> 00:56:10,265
DOOR SHUTS
918
00:56:40,186 --> 00:56:42,142
Who'd have thought it, eh?
919
00:56:42,146 --> 00:56:44,130
Dave Hicks and Bella Hammond.
920
00:56:44,134 --> 00:56:47,166
Hehe! 25 years, you know, next week.
921
00:56:47,170 --> 00:56:50,122
Thank God for small Thorazines.
922
00:56:52,110 --> 00:56:53,166
So...um...
923
00:56:53,174 --> 00:56:55,126
What we gonna do about
this wedding, then?
924
00:56:55,130 --> 00:56:57,114
Might it pass?
925
00:56:58,162 --> 00:57:01,134
Most first marriages are a mistake.
926
00:57:01,138 --> 00:57:03,118
That's not quite what I meant.
927
00:57:04,154 --> 00:57:06,102
I mean, let's face it,
928
00:57:06,106 --> 00:57:07,158
they are brother and sister.
929
00:57:13,146 --> 00:57:14,194
What are you talking about?
930
00:57:14,198 --> 00:57:18,110
25 years ago,
931
00:57:18,118 --> 00:57:20,130
your Johnny's playing soldiers
in the sauna,
932
00:57:20,134 --> 00:57:22,106
you're coming to me for your jollies.
933
00:57:22,114 --> 00:57:25,118
So, who's the father of your girls?
His Worship the Mayor.
934
00:57:28,118 --> 00:57:29,158
What?
935
00:57:30,170 --> 00:57:35,118
Well, Johnny may have an alarming
penchant for the other ranks
936
00:57:35,126 --> 00:57:38,178
but he has always understood
the meaning of the word 'duty',
937
00:57:38,186 --> 00:57:41,142
however distasteful
he may have found it.
938
00:57:46,178 --> 00:57:51,118
Well, pity. I thought we might,
one day, you know...
939
00:57:51,122 --> 00:57:53,114
..legitimise the position.
940
00:57:54,178 --> 00:57:56,150
Me...
941
00:57:56,154 --> 00:57:57,198
..with you?
942
00:57:58,102 --> 00:58:00,162
Well, once you know about Johnny...
943
00:58:00,166 --> 00:58:04,174
(LAUGHS)
944
00:58:08,118 --> 00:58:09,186
David...
945
00:58:09,194 --> 00:58:13,114
David, I picked you
for my occasional indulgence
946
00:58:13,122 --> 00:58:16,106
because it appealed to
a certain perversity within me.
947
00:58:16,110 --> 00:58:18,138
When having sex with you,
948
00:58:18,146 --> 00:58:22,162
I like to imagine how deeply
horrified the Hammond clan would be.
949
00:58:22,166 --> 00:58:25,114
But, believe me,
950
00:58:25,118 --> 00:58:28,106
otherwise it was...pure farmyard.
951
00:58:28,110 --> 00:58:29,178
Nothing else at all.
952
00:58:36,174 --> 00:58:39,134
Bloody Hammonds.
953
00:58:39,142 --> 00:58:43,142
Think you're so superior!
Because we are.
954
00:58:43,150 --> 00:58:46,146
Well, why don't you find
another stand-in
955
00:58:46,154 --> 00:58:48,190
for your faggy husband,
if you can!
956
00:58:48,198 --> 00:58:52,170
Take a look in there, Lady Macbeth.
That's no spring bloody chicken.
957
00:58:59,110 --> 00:59:02,158
BIRDSONG
958
00:59:02,162 --> 00:59:06,122
MELANCHOLIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYS
959
00:59:33,150 --> 00:59:36,122
Birth certificates
from that period, sir.
960
00:59:36,130 --> 00:59:39,102
They show no connection between
the Hicks and the Hammonds.
961
00:59:39,110 --> 00:59:43,198
But Biddy Dixon's mum
claimed that Tommy's mother,
962
00:59:44,102 --> 00:59:45,170
a lowly laundry lady,
963
00:59:45,178 --> 00:59:48,122
had been knocked up
by Colonel Sebastian Hammond.
964
00:59:48,130 --> 00:59:51,190
So Dougie executed his own
half-brother? Alleged half-brother.
965
00:59:51,198 --> 00:59:54,106
You could verify that
through DNA analysis, sir.
966
00:59:54,114 --> 00:59:56,194
Ooh, yes, so we could.
Good idea, Stephens.
967
00:59:56,198 --> 00:59:58,154
Thank you, sir.
968
00:59:58,162 --> 01:00:01,178
Jones, what news
of Danny and the gun?
969
01:00:01,186 --> 01:00:05,114
Says he had nothing to do with
the theft from the Hammonds.
970
01:00:05,122 --> 01:00:08,110
Claims his fingerprints
must have been planted there
971
01:00:08,114 --> 01:00:09,182
by someone who wanted to frame him.
972
01:00:11,118 --> 01:00:13,102
Is he serious?
No, he was winding me up.
973
01:00:13,110 --> 01:00:15,158
He knows we can't touch him
on that one.
974
01:00:15,166 --> 01:00:19,170
MEN: # Mademoiselle from Armentieres,
Parlez-vous
975
01:00:19,178 --> 01:00:23,178
♪ Mademoiselle from Armentieres,
Parlez-vous
976
01:00:23,186 --> 01:00:27,178
♪ Mademoiselle from Armentieres,
hasn't been...for 40 years
977
01:00:27,182 --> 01:00:30,110
♪ Rinky-dinky, parlez-vous?
978
01:00:30,114 --> 01:00:31,182
♪ Have a banana
979
01:00:35,146 --> 01:00:38,170
♪ The officers get the pie and cake,
Parlez-vous?
980
01:00:38,174 --> 01:00:40,198
♪ The officers get the pie and cake
981
01:00:41,102 --> 01:00:42,174
♪ All we get is a bellyache
982
01:00:42,178 --> 01:00:44,118
♪ Rinky-dinky, parlez... ♪
983
01:00:47,158 --> 01:00:51,170
Ten minutes of an engraver's time
in exchange for your life.
984
01:00:51,174 --> 01:00:54,150
That's all a poor man gets.
985
01:00:54,158 --> 01:00:56,110
Hey, none of your
commie stuff here, please!
986
01:00:57,138 --> 01:00:59,102
What did the army give me?
987
01:00:59,106 --> 01:01:01,154
Dishonourable discharge,
988
01:01:01,162 --> 01:01:04,182
just for selling off a few
bits and bobs they weren't using.
989
01:01:04,190 --> 01:01:07,134
(CHUCKLES)
VEHICLE APPROACHES
990
01:01:12,118 --> 01:01:14,114
Where are the kids controlling that?
991
01:01:25,174 --> 01:01:27,114
What's that?
992
01:01:29,154 --> 01:01:30,194
Bloody hell.
993
01:01:32,170 --> 01:01:34,110
That's a detonator.
994
01:02:00,150 --> 01:02:03,170
TOOLS TAP
995
01:02:03,174 --> 01:02:05,110
Sir?
996
01:02:07,162 --> 01:02:09,130
DEVICE BEEPS
997
01:02:09,134 --> 01:02:11,194
Pentaerythritol tetranitrate.
998
01:02:11,198 --> 01:02:14,162
PETM.
999
01:02:14,170 --> 01:02:16,170
The explosive popular
with shoe bombers.
1000
01:02:16,174 --> 01:02:18,126
It's easy to mould into any shape
1001
01:02:18,134 --> 01:02:20,158
and remains stable
until it's detonated.
1002
01:02:20,166 --> 01:02:25,134
Now, these touch-cards will tell if
a person's been handling explosives.
1003
01:02:25,142 --> 01:02:27,162
So, all we've got to do,
is to find someone
1004
01:02:27,170 --> 01:02:29,198
with the telltale molecules
on their hands, and we've got them.
1005
01:02:30,102 --> 01:02:31,182
Thank you.
1006
01:02:33,138 --> 01:02:35,138
There were three Hammonds
on that memorial.
1007
01:02:35,146 --> 01:02:38,138
You really think that I, or any of
my men, would try to destroy it?
1008
01:02:38,146 --> 01:02:41,118
What about Lionel?
Was it an attempt on his life
1009
01:02:41,126 --> 01:02:43,190
as revenge for the death
of your father?
1010
01:02:43,198 --> 01:02:46,162
No. No. It's the Hickses
trying to discredit us.
1011
01:02:46,170 --> 01:02:50,122
The Hickses are at the bottom
of everything rotten around here.
1012
01:02:50,130 --> 01:02:53,166
Why didn't you press charges when
your grandfather's gun was stolen?
1013
01:02:53,170 --> 01:02:56,118
My wife thought it would just create
1014
01:02:56,126 --> 01:02:58,118
further bad feeling
between the families.
1015
01:02:58,122 --> 01:02:59,166
Was she worried about that?
1016
01:02:59,170 --> 01:03:02,114
Who knows?
1017
01:03:02,122 --> 01:03:05,166
Let's face it - what do you get
for burglary these days?
1018
01:03:05,174 --> 01:03:07,150
A holiday in Wales
with a social worker?
1019
01:03:07,158 --> 01:03:10,110
Teneriffe, if it's serious.
Thank you.
1020
01:03:12,174 --> 01:03:17,130
ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYS SOFTLY
1021
01:03:23,134 --> 01:03:26,154
DRAMATIC HIT
1022
01:03:27,194 --> 01:03:29,134
God!
1023
01:03:34,150 --> 01:03:36,122
Ooh!
1024
01:03:39,146 --> 01:03:41,186
That's my bloody Jag!
I loved that car.
1025
01:03:41,194 --> 01:03:44,138
I'd hardly want to blow it up,
would I?
1026
01:03:44,146 --> 01:03:48,122
The explosives were initially
aimed at the memorial,
1027
01:03:48,126 --> 01:03:49,186
perhaps even at Lionel.
1028
01:03:49,194 --> 01:03:52,190
Right. It was a revenge attempt
by the Hammonds,
1029
01:03:52,194 --> 01:03:54,146
plain as the nose on your face.
1030
01:03:54,154 --> 01:03:56,174
But you are deliberately
ignoring the obvious
1031
01:03:56,182 --> 01:04:00,118
cos the police and the army see
themselves as brothers in arms.
1032
01:04:00,122 --> 01:04:01,158
Do you know your trouble?
1033
01:04:02,170 --> 01:04:05,186
You have no respect for the
political and business community
1034
01:04:05,190 --> 01:04:07,154
as represented by their mayor.
1035
01:04:09,150 --> 01:04:13,170
Danny, may we have some more of your
ubiquitous fingerprints, please?
1036
01:04:13,178 --> 01:04:16,182
I didn't nick the gun. I wasn't
charged, so it didn't happen.
1037
01:04:16,190 --> 01:04:19,154
Well, I choose not to believe that -
so your fingerprints now,
1038
01:04:19,162 --> 01:04:21,142
please, on there.
FAST PACE FOOTSTEPS
1039
01:04:21,146 --> 01:04:23,106
Where is he?
1040
01:04:23,114 --> 01:04:25,154
He's in conference, Mrs Hicks.
Oh, piss off.
1041
01:04:28,126 --> 01:04:30,190
Hello, darling.
You are SO dead.
1042
01:04:30,194 --> 01:04:32,174
And why's that, my precious?
1043
01:04:32,178 --> 01:04:34,190
Bella Hammond.
1044
01:04:34,198 --> 01:04:39,194
You have been shagging Bella Hammond
for the last 25 years.
1045
01:04:39,198 --> 01:04:41,142
Dad!
1046
01:04:41,146 --> 01:04:43,102
No, I haven't.
1047
01:04:43,106 --> 01:04:46,154
Chanel number-bleedin'-five.
1048
01:04:46,162 --> 01:04:49,106
And she knows what you yell
when you get your rocks off.
1049
01:04:49,110 --> 01:04:51,114
"Go, Dave, go!"
1050
01:04:51,122 --> 01:04:53,158
Well, go-Dave-go,
it's all in my name,
1051
01:04:53,162 --> 01:04:56,114
so right now it's, "Go, Judy, Go"
1052
01:04:56,122 --> 01:05:00,114
with every penny you've got and
every inch of skin on your FAT arse.
1053
01:05:01,174 --> 01:05:04,122
See you in jail...loser.
1054
01:05:04,126 --> 01:05:06,130
Bella Hammond?
1055
01:05:06,138 --> 01:05:08,154
I was just getting
some inside information.
1056
01:05:08,158 --> 01:05:11,110
You're so full of it.
1057
01:05:11,114 --> 01:05:12,170
My future mother-in-law.
1058
01:05:12,174 --> 01:05:14,170
Heh. Bit off, Dad.
1059
01:05:15,198 --> 01:05:19,130
It seems that lack of respect
for the mayor
1060
01:05:19,134 --> 01:05:22,138
is endemic in our wayward community.
1061
01:05:22,142 --> 01:05:23,178
DOOR SLAMS
1062
01:05:26,178 --> 01:05:28,166
DOOR OPENS
1063
01:05:28,170 --> 01:05:30,162
TIMBER CREAKS
1064
01:05:36,918 --> 01:05:38,866
What are you doing?
1065
01:05:38,870 --> 01:05:40,854
Nothing.
1066
01:05:40,862 --> 01:05:43,870
Judy Hicks has been
banging round the village
1067
01:05:43,878 --> 01:05:46,890
telling everyone that you and Dave
have been having an affair for years.
1068
01:05:46,898 --> 01:05:49,906
She always was a noisy woman.
So it's not true?
1069
01:05:49,910 --> 01:05:51,922
Well, of course not.
1070
01:05:52,826 --> 01:05:55,846
Thank God.
1071
01:05:55,854 --> 01:05:59,902
An affair would suggest some
kind of passion, affection even.
1072
01:05:59,910 --> 01:06:03,918
All Dave and I ever had
was pretty basic sex.
1073
01:06:03,922 --> 01:06:06,878
You are joking?
1074
01:06:06,886 --> 01:06:09,854
Well...it wasn't
really up your alley,
1075
01:06:09,858 --> 01:06:10,902
was it, darling?
1076
01:06:10,906 --> 01:06:12,906
But a Hicks, for God's sake!
1077
01:06:12,914 --> 01:06:16,858
Yes, I know.
That was the really good bit.
1078
01:06:18,854 --> 01:06:20,850
That is quite unforgivable.
1079
01:06:23,826 --> 01:06:26,850
I don't need forgiveness
from this family.
1080
01:06:39,902 --> 01:06:43,826
That's all the men
in the village tested.
1081
01:06:43,834 --> 01:06:46,882
The boys that run the cards -
not a trace.
1082
01:06:46,886 --> 01:06:48,886
I'm very disappointed.
1083
01:06:48,890 --> 01:06:50,854
What about the women of the village?
1084
01:06:50,858 --> 01:06:52,894
Explosives? Not a woman thing.
1085
01:06:52,898 --> 01:06:55,854
That's very sexist, George.
1086
01:06:55,858 --> 01:06:56,922
You want me to test the women?
1087
01:06:57,826 --> 01:06:58,878
Yes, I do.
1088
01:06:58,886 --> 01:07:01,906
Dig out all the public records
on both the families.
1089
01:07:01,914 --> 01:07:06,834
And you better ask those nice people
at DNA if we can afford to test.
1090
01:07:09,902 --> 01:07:11,882
Is he on to something?
1091
01:07:11,886 --> 01:07:14,850
I'm never quite sure.
1092
01:07:15,858 --> 01:07:18,922
BIRDS TWITTER
1093
01:07:32,838 --> 01:07:36,866
Ah! Reverend, I'm looking
for the grave of Thomas Hicks.
1094
01:07:36,870 --> 01:07:39,834
(Yes. It's down there on the left.)
1095
01:07:39,838 --> 01:07:40,874
Thank you.
1096
01:07:54,870 --> 01:07:57,858
All right. All right.
I'll be there in 20 minutes.
1097
01:08:03,918 --> 01:08:07,874
Solicitor - he says he has something
of interest regarding father's will.
1098
01:08:07,878 --> 01:08:09,838
Excuse me.
1099
01:08:36,878 --> 01:08:38,862
GARAGE RATTLES
1100
01:08:38,866 --> 01:08:39,902
RAPID GUNFIRE
1101
01:08:52,826 --> 01:08:54,834
(CHOKES)
1102
01:08:55,842 --> 01:08:56,882
GRAVEL CRUNCHES
1103
01:09:03,882 --> 01:09:06,906
(CHOKES)
1104
01:09:06,910 --> 01:09:09,910
SAD TRUMPET PLAYS
1105
01:09:51,882 --> 01:09:55,842
WALKIE-TALKIE CHATTER
1106
01:10:11,724 --> 01:10:13,688
What's happening?
1107
01:10:14,720 --> 01:10:16,704
There's a misfed round
in the breech.
1108
01:10:18,656 --> 01:10:20,680
I wonder if the shooter was injured?
1109
01:10:20,688 --> 01:10:23,716
Well, there's no sign of blood
or anything.
1110
01:10:27,732 --> 01:10:33,652
Your solicitor, Martin Chadwick,
denies phoning Johnny.
1111
01:10:33,656 --> 01:10:35,680
But Johnny said it was him.
1112
01:10:35,688 --> 01:10:39,692
Yeah, well, the call actually came
from an unidentified mobile phone.
1113
01:10:39,696 --> 01:10:42,728
Have you got any...any thoughts?
1114
01:10:42,732 --> 01:10:44,676
Hicks.
1115
01:10:44,680 --> 01:10:48,656
Yes. But other possibilities.
1116
01:10:48,660 --> 01:10:52,652
One of his soldier boys.
1117
01:10:52,660 --> 01:10:55,712
You know, Johnny was a little..
left of centre,
1118
01:10:55,716 --> 01:10:57,704
sexually not politically.
1119
01:10:59,668 --> 01:11:02,708
Did he know about your relationship
with Dave Hicks?
1120
01:11:02,712 --> 01:11:05,724
It wasn't a relationship.
1121
01:11:05,728 --> 01:11:07,728
We just had sex occasionally.
1122
01:11:07,736 --> 01:11:11,692
Which went on for a period
of many years, by all accounts.
1123
01:11:12,724 --> 01:11:14,676
Where are you going with this?
1124
01:11:14,680 --> 01:11:17,708
Well, it must throw a somewhat...
1125
01:11:17,716 --> 01:11:20,700
speculative light over the parentage
of your two daughters.
1126
01:11:20,704 --> 01:11:23,668
Oh, for God's sake. Don't you start!
1127
01:11:24,680 --> 01:11:26,720
They are Hammonds,
through and through.
1128
01:11:26,728 --> 01:11:29,660
Just look at them,
their noses, eyes.
1129
01:11:29,668 --> 01:11:32,656
There is no way they are anything
to do with Dave Hicks.
1130
01:11:32,660 --> 01:11:33,712
Yes. I'm-I'm agreeing with you.
1131
01:11:33,720 --> 01:11:36,688
They're nothing at all
to do with Mayor Hicks.
1132
01:11:36,692 --> 01:11:37,728
Right.
1133
01:11:44,680 --> 01:11:46,736
Your daughter Sophie...
1134
01:11:49,660 --> 01:11:53,704
..was born four months
after you married Johnny.
1135
01:11:53,712 --> 01:11:55,688
So I was pregnant
when I got married?
1136
01:11:55,692 --> 01:11:57,712
Hardly groundbreaking territory.
1137
01:11:57,720 --> 01:12:02,656
Yes. But until two months before
you married Johnny,
1138
01:12:02,660 --> 01:12:05,656
he was away in Australia for a year.
1139
01:12:05,664 --> 01:12:08,724
Do you see?
The-the-the maths is confusing.
1140
01:12:08,728 --> 01:12:11,728
He flew back for a break.
1141
01:12:11,732 --> 01:12:13,684
Well, he may well have done.
1142
01:12:13,692 --> 01:12:16,640
But...you wouldn't
have been here, would you?
1143
01:12:16,648 --> 01:12:17,700
Yes, I was.
No, you weren't.
1144
01:12:17,708 --> 01:12:21,664
Cos you...were in Northern Ireland
working for the MOD,
1145
01:12:21,668 --> 01:12:22,724
as indeed was Henry Hammond.
1146
01:12:22,732 --> 01:12:26,640
In fact you were
his assistant, his PA.
1147
01:12:27,652 --> 01:12:32,692
As you say,
"Hammond through and through".
1148
01:12:32,696 --> 01:12:35,684
'I thought that...ah...
1149
01:12:35,692 --> 01:12:39,672
Henry was a little over-familiar
for a father-in-law.
1150
01:12:39,680 --> 01:12:41,684
But you didn't seem to notice,
did you?
1151
01:12:41,692 --> 01:12:45,736
It was as if those gestures
were not uncommon.'
1152
01:12:47,732 --> 01:12:52,688
So, you had Sophie by Henry.
1153
01:12:52,692 --> 01:12:54,644
Yes.
1154
01:12:54,648 --> 01:12:55,720
And Kate?
1155
01:12:55,728 --> 01:13:00,648
May as well be hung
for two lambs as a sheep.
1156
01:13:00,652 --> 01:13:01,700
Hm!
1157
01:13:02,736 --> 01:13:05,716
And what did your husband
think of this arrangement?
1158
01:13:05,724 --> 01:13:11,668
Henry gave Johnny a family
and a place in local society.
1159
01:13:12,732 --> 01:13:15,664
But at considerable cost
to his self-esteem.
1160
01:13:18,712 --> 01:13:21,712
I would be grateful
if you would keep your very...
1161
01:13:21,716 --> 01:13:24,696
perceptive insights to yourself.
1162
01:13:24,700 --> 01:13:26,696
I'll do my very best.
1163
01:13:28,668 --> 01:13:29,720
You are an officer and a gentleman.
1164
01:13:35,668 --> 01:13:38,672
So, how come you two are always
around when things go wrong?
1165
01:13:38,680 --> 01:13:41,736
We were fixing a water pump at the
Reynolds' place, just up the road.
1166
01:13:42,640 --> 01:13:44,664
And what does Lionel do?
1167
01:13:44,668 --> 01:13:46,736
He guards my lunch, OK?
1168
01:13:47,644 --> 01:13:49,728
Well, he just comes for the ride.
He's my mate.
1169
01:13:49,736 --> 01:13:52,724
Look at this -
found near the machine-gun.
1170
01:13:52,732 --> 01:13:56,652
Hm. How many bits of a machine-gun
are made of plastic?
1171
01:13:56,660 --> 01:13:57,684
None.
None.
1172
01:13:58,692 --> 01:14:01,700
But toy cars can be made of plastic.
1173
01:14:02,716 --> 01:14:04,684
Mickey Ryan's military record?
1174
01:14:04,692 --> 01:14:06,720
In Northern Ireland
same time as Henry Hammond.
1175
01:14:06,728 --> 01:14:09,708
Dishonourable discharge
from Royal Midsome Yeomanry
1176
01:14:09,716 --> 01:14:12,700
for stealing ordinance -
unspecified.
1177
01:14:12,708 --> 01:14:15,688
That is a word we do not use
around here, Ms Stephens.
1178
01:14:15,696 --> 01:14:17,696
Get it specified.
Yes, sir.
1179
01:14:20,700 --> 01:14:22,736
Just had a hopping-mad
Judy Hicks come in.
1180
01:14:23,644 --> 01:14:27,708
Gave me this - conversation between
her husband and son Danny
1181
01:14:27,716 --> 01:14:29,712
discussing how they might develop
North Meadow,
1182
01:14:29,716 --> 01:14:32,704
Hammond land.
1183
01:14:32,708 --> 01:14:35,736
Dougie Hammond wanted to make amends.
1184
01:14:39,728 --> 01:14:41,668
Well, come on.
1185
01:14:53,644 --> 01:14:54,692
Here you are, George.
1186
01:14:54,696 --> 01:14:56,680
Your start off of ten.
1187
01:14:58,724 --> 01:15:01,696
Small transmitter box.
Yeah.
1188
01:15:01,704 --> 01:15:04,728
Which, presumably, transmitted
to a receiver on the machine-gun
1189
01:15:04,732 --> 01:15:06,704
where I found the other aerial.
1190
01:15:07,736 --> 01:15:10,712
Johnny presses the remote
for his garage door
1191
01:15:10,720 --> 01:15:13,668
using his normal
infrared transmitter
1192
01:15:13,672 --> 01:15:15,676
which triggered the garage motor,
1193
01:15:15,684 --> 01:15:17,736
which, in turn,
triggered this transmitter
1194
01:15:18,644 --> 01:15:20,676
that sent a signal
to the machine-gun.
1195
01:15:23,660 --> 01:15:24,720
(CHOKES)
1196
01:15:27,684 --> 01:15:29,672
And the wheelchair?
Same MO.
1197
01:15:29,676 --> 01:15:32,676
Old Henry is executed.
1198
01:15:35,652 --> 01:15:37,696
Radio receiver's wired up
to his wheelchair controls
1199
01:15:37,700 --> 01:15:39,696
and off he goes.
1200
01:15:39,700 --> 01:15:42,712
And trying to destroy the evidence,
1201
01:15:42,716 --> 01:15:44,668
the controller guides Henry
1202
01:15:44,676 --> 01:15:47,640
into the path of
the oncoming milk truck,
1203
01:15:47,648 --> 01:15:49,660
which they knew always
passed that way at that time.
1204
01:15:49,664 --> 01:15:51,712
Same with the radio-controlled car.
1205
01:15:51,720 --> 01:15:54,676
So, who's the electronics
expert around here?
1206
01:15:54,684 --> 01:15:56,724
Mickey Ryan.
Yeah, but he's alibied, isn't he,
1207
01:15:56,728 --> 01:15:58,696
by all his re-enactor mates?
1208
01:16:00,664 --> 01:16:02,640
So, what do we do now?
1209
01:16:02,648 --> 01:16:04,704
What we do now, Jones,
is think laterally -
1210
01:16:04,708 --> 01:16:06,712
go at it from the other flank.
1211
01:16:19,640 --> 01:16:23,684
This is the local and...
very bent solicitor.
1212
01:16:23,692 --> 01:16:27,644
And we'll deal with him
in a way he understands.
1213
01:16:30,672 --> 01:16:32,656
Now, Mr Chadwick, you...
1214
01:16:32,664 --> 01:16:36,704
deal with all of David Hicks'
legal work, do you? Yes.
1215
01:16:36,712 --> 01:16:38,684
Well, I'm sorry
to have to tell you this,
1216
01:16:38,692 --> 01:16:42,728
but his little empire and
all his associated chicanery
1217
01:16:42,732 --> 01:16:45,656
is about to implode,
1218
01:16:45,660 --> 01:16:47,728
owing to his wife feeding us details
1219
01:16:47,736 --> 01:16:51,668
of his somewhat illegal
business arrangements.
1220
01:16:51,672 --> 01:16:53,660
You...
1221
01:16:53,664 --> 01:16:55,688
You get several mentions.
1222
01:16:58,708 --> 01:17:01,652
H-how can I help you,
Chief Inspector?
1223
01:17:01,656 --> 01:17:02,704
Oh, Martin, thank you.
1224
01:17:04,688 --> 01:17:09,664
Does David Hicks have any
entitlement to Hammond land?
1225
01:17:22,720 --> 01:17:25,672
When the trust is wound up
the Hicks get North Meadow.
1226
01:17:26,724 --> 01:17:29,644
This was a secret codicil
to Douglas Hammond's will.
1227
01:17:30,656 --> 01:17:32,652
How did David Hicks
find out about that?
1228
01:17:33,708 --> 01:17:35,708
I can't think.
1229
01:17:37,648 --> 01:17:40,644
When does the trust expire?
1230
01:17:40,652 --> 01:17:44,644
(CLEARS THROAT) By law, all trusts
expire after three generations.
1231
01:17:44,652 --> 01:17:48,660
So, that will be now,
after the death of Johnny Hammond?
1232
01:17:48,668 --> 01:17:50,712
Not quite.
The Trust remains in place
1233
01:17:50,720 --> 01:17:52,688
while the spouse of the deceased
is still living.
1234
01:17:52,692 --> 01:17:54,656
Spouse.
1235
01:17:57,692 --> 01:18:00,708
Martin, thank you very much.
1236
01:18:08,640 --> 01:18:09,736
DOOR CLOSES
Mr Mayor.
1237
01:18:30,704 --> 01:18:32,704
Father.
1238
01:18:32,708 --> 01:18:34,720
Grandfather.
1239
01:18:34,724 --> 01:18:37,648
One and the same.
1240
01:18:41,728 --> 01:18:44,648
You disgust me.
1241
01:18:47,692 --> 01:18:49,704
I wanted you both so much.
1242
01:18:50,732 --> 01:18:52,708
My children.
1243
01:18:54,644 --> 01:18:55,732
My daughters.
1244
01:18:57,644 --> 01:19:00,668
If I hadn't behaved as I did,
neither of you would be here.
1245
01:19:00,672 --> 01:19:02,660
I wish I wasn't.
1246
01:19:07,712 --> 01:19:09,716
A surveyor called.
1247
01:19:09,724 --> 01:19:14,668
He wants you to go up to North Meadow
to discuss...boundaries or something.
1248
01:19:58,732 --> 01:20:02,700
PIANO PLAYS MENACINGLY
1249
01:20:14,696 --> 01:20:16,696
(GASPS)
1250
01:20:25,732 --> 01:20:27,728
No. Uh.
1251
01:20:27,732 --> 01:20:30,676
(DISTRESSED)
1252
01:20:55,736 --> 01:20:58,704
Bella, you all right?
1253
01:21:06,648 --> 01:21:09,648
ENGINE IDLES
1254
01:21:16,668 --> 01:21:19,648
TWO-WAY RADIO WARBLES
1255
01:21:22,788 --> 01:21:25,768
Thank you, Mr Barnaby.
You saved my life.
1256
01:21:25,772 --> 01:21:27,728
Actually, it was Jones who did...
1257
01:21:27,732 --> 01:21:29,732
Well, but it... No, it was nothing.
1258
01:21:29,740 --> 01:21:30,772
Sir!
Yay.
1259
01:21:30,776 --> 01:21:31,812
THUMPS HORSE FLOAT
1260
01:21:34,752 --> 01:21:35,804
We found the transmitter.
1261
01:21:39,800 --> 01:21:43,780
It was tuned to the 2.8HG
public band.
1262
01:21:45,732 --> 01:21:47,796
So all that was needed was
for this simple transmitter
1263
01:21:47,804 --> 01:21:51,724
to convert the electronic pulses
to mechanical movement.
1264
01:21:51,732 --> 01:21:53,720
Really?
And it's Kate's horse box,
1265
01:21:53,728 --> 01:21:55,804
and she was the one who sent
Mrs Hammond to North Meadow.
1266
01:21:55,808 --> 01:21:57,788
Can I run with this, sir?
1267
01:21:59,788 --> 01:22:01,804
So, how do you explain
these facts, Ms Hammond?
1268
01:22:01,808 --> 01:22:03,812
I don't explain anything.
1269
01:22:04,720 --> 01:22:05,792
I'm just telling you
I got a phone call.
1270
01:22:05,800 --> 01:22:09,748
But the horse box is your vehicle.
So bloody what?!
1271
01:22:09,752 --> 01:22:11,716
I can barely operate a light switch.
1272
01:22:11,724 --> 01:22:13,800
Do you really think I know
diddly-twat about electronic gizmos?
1273
01:22:13,804 --> 01:22:15,756
She's the one who did engineering.
1274
01:22:15,764 --> 01:22:18,800
Oh, please? I switched
to sociology after one term.
1275
01:22:18,808 --> 01:22:20,808
Well, you're the one always
talking about CAD.
1276
01:22:21,716 --> 01:22:22,776
Oh, thank you, sister dearest.
Just shut up.
1277
01:22:22,780 --> 01:22:24,732
Up yours!
1278
01:22:24,740 --> 01:22:25,772
So SICK of you!
Hey.
1279
01:22:25,776 --> 01:22:27,720
Hey. Ah! Ah!
1280
01:22:27,724 --> 01:22:28,792
Hey! Ah! Ah!
1281
01:22:28,796 --> 01:22:31,724
Ah. Ah! Ladies!
1282
01:22:31,732 --> 01:22:32,812
Ladies, please?
Hate you.
1283
01:22:33,720 --> 01:22:34,804
Plea...
Argh! (GRUNTS)
1284
01:22:34,812 --> 01:22:37,784
Uh! You're such a... (GRUNTS)
Please?!
1285
01:22:37,792 --> 01:22:40,744
Kate, you...
Sir!
1286
01:22:40,752 --> 01:22:44,768
Yes, Jones?
(BOTH WOMEN GRUNT WITH EXERTION)
1287
01:22:44,776 --> 01:22:47,800
There's a situation...
That's enough!
1288
01:22:52,788 --> 01:22:54,792
You don't have to look
quite so smug, sir.
1289
01:22:54,796 --> 01:22:56,744
Of course, I do.
1290
01:22:56,748 --> 01:22:58,800
It's one of the perks of experience.
1291
01:23:04,748 --> 01:23:07,804
'Now, what do you want,
Mr Busy-body?'
1292
01:23:07,812 --> 01:23:09,752
Biddy, what do you know
about Lazarus?
1293
01:23:09,760 --> 01:23:12,720
He came back from the dead.
He certainly did.
1294
01:23:12,724 --> 01:23:13,800
And what did he do then?
1295
01:23:13,808 --> 01:23:16,800
Picked up his bed and walked.
Yes, it was a miracle.
1296
01:23:16,808 --> 01:23:18,760
And I think you've
performed a miracle
1297
01:23:18,768 --> 01:23:20,784
with the local social services,
haven't you?
1298
01:23:22,756 --> 01:23:23,796
CAR DOOR CLOSES
1299
01:23:25,760 --> 01:23:27,796
So, what's in there?
Eh-eh-eh.
1300
01:23:29,724 --> 01:23:31,756
Do you know what a McGuffin is?
No.
1301
01:23:31,764 --> 01:23:34,720
Well, it's one of them.
ENGINE STARTS
1302
01:23:54,732 --> 01:23:55,792
So it's a Hicks then?
1303
01:24:00,780 --> 01:24:02,748
This is personal, isn't it?
1304
01:24:02,756 --> 01:24:03,800
This is all about
your bleedin' roof.
1305
01:24:03,808 --> 01:24:06,768
No, it's not about my roof,
it's about motive.
1306
01:24:06,772 --> 01:24:08,788
So, what is my motive?
1307
01:24:08,796 --> 01:24:11,744
You're an evil little crook.
Not now, Jude.
1308
01:24:11,752 --> 01:24:15,780
Oh, thank you very much for
your interesting tape, Mrs Hicks.
1309
01:24:15,784 --> 01:24:17,784
What tape?
1310
01:24:17,788 --> 01:24:19,756
The one that will hang you.
1311
01:24:19,764 --> 01:24:21,796
The tape that contains,
amongst other gems,
1312
01:24:21,804 --> 01:24:25,768
your plans to exploit and corrupt
the local planning laws
1313
01:24:25,776 --> 01:24:27,720
once you got your hands
on North Meadow.
1314
01:24:32,792 --> 01:24:34,740
No.
1315
01:24:34,744 --> 01:24:35,796
I warned you.
1316
01:24:35,804 --> 01:24:38,728
'Course, you can only
inherit that land
1317
01:24:38,736 --> 01:24:42,716
after the deaths of both
Johnny and Bella Hammond.
1318
01:24:42,724 --> 01:24:44,812
Now, David, that looks like
a pretty good motive to me.
1319
01:24:45,716 --> 01:24:47,732
Right. Take him down.
1320
01:24:47,736 --> 01:24:49,724
But...
1321
01:24:49,732 --> 01:24:51,740
Why would you want
to kill Henry Hammond?
1322
01:24:51,744 --> 01:24:52,804
Yeah. Yeah, right.
1323
01:24:52,808 --> 01:24:55,768
Well, I'm not sure, Dave.
1324
01:24:55,776 --> 01:24:58,784
Why would anyone want
to kill Henry Hammond?
1325
01:24:58,792 --> 01:25:01,764
Danny, have you got
an opinion on this? Eh?
1326
01:25:01,772 --> 01:25:05,744
Oh, come on, Danny. We all know
that you stole the murder weapon.
1327
01:25:05,752 --> 01:25:09,732
OK. I nicked the gun, but...
You know, it disappeared.
1328
01:25:10,768 --> 01:25:13,720
Really. It was in my room
and then it wasn't.
1329
01:25:13,728 --> 01:25:15,744
The room you once shared
with your brother?
1330
01:25:16,760 --> 01:25:17,808
Will?
1331
01:25:17,812 --> 01:25:19,756
Did you take the gun?
1332
01:25:19,760 --> 01:25:21,716
Why would I?
1333
01:25:21,720 --> 01:25:26,732
Henry, Johnny, Bella.
1334
01:25:26,740 --> 01:25:29,812
Who inherits the estate
once they've all gone?
1335
01:25:31,744 --> 01:25:34,796
Well, I'll tell you.
Kate and her sister Sophie.
1336
01:25:34,804 --> 01:25:38,768
Your fiance shall become
very well-off, won't she?
1337
01:25:39,800 --> 01:25:42,776
But we don't consider
that very likely, do we?
1338
01:25:42,784 --> 01:25:46,764
We haven't found an ounce of madness
in Will's history.
1339
01:25:46,772 --> 01:25:48,752
He's a nice man.
He's a very nice man.
1340
01:25:48,760 --> 01:25:52,784
Where does the malice
really come from in this family, hey?
1341
01:25:55,780 --> 01:25:58,716
Do you bloody mind?!
1342
01:25:58,720 --> 01:25:59,784
What are you getting at, Barnaby?
1343
01:25:59,788 --> 01:26:01,788
You hate the Hammonds, don't you?
1344
01:26:01,792 --> 01:26:03,756
I mean, you REALLY hate the Hammonds.
1345
01:26:03,764 --> 01:26:05,780
Especially
after you found out about...
1346
01:26:06,812 --> 01:26:08,808
..about the interesting connection
1347
01:26:08,812 --> 01:26:12,796
between Bella Hammond and David here.
1348
01:26:12,800 --> 01:26:14,784
I'm not a murderer.
1349
01:26:14,788 --> 01:26:17,728
I'm not a bleedin' psycho either.
1350
01:26:17,736 --> 01:26:19,720
And I have alibis
for all the times, don't I?
1351
01:26:19,724 --> 01:26:21,728
Yes, you have, indeed.
1352
01:26:22,808 --> 01:26:25,740
So...ah?
You've done us all and no result.
1353
01:26:26,764 --> 01:26:27,804
Right.
1354
01:26:32,772 --> 01:26:33,812
Hello, Lionel.
1355
01:26:35,788 --> 01:26:37,728
BOX CONTENTS RATTLE
1356
01:26:45,804 --> 01:26:47,760
You took your time.
1357
01:26:47,764 --> 01:26:49,756
Dad! Sit down, you're disabled.
1358
01:26:49,764 --> 01:26:51,776
It's all right. I'm not concerned
with benefit fraud.
1359
01:26:51,784 --> 01:26:55,720
Biddy Dixon's always teaching
people how to fiddle the system.
1360
01:26:59,768 --> 01:27:01,812
So, what's your beef, then?
1361
01:27:04,776 --> 01:27:07,736
You were in the Engineers
during the last war, weren't you?
1362
01:27:07,740 --> 01:27:09,752
Dropped into France before D-day
1363
01:27:09,760 --> 01:27:12,804
to blow up railway lines, bridges,
supply depots and stuff.
1364
01:27:12,812 --> 01:27:15,784
You really know your explosives,
don't you?
1365
01:27:15,788 --> 01:27:17,788
Expert.
1366
01:27:17,796 --> 01:27:21,772
And then you became one of the first
people to repair televisions.
1367
01:27:21,780 --> 01:27:23,796
I looked after
Mr Churchill's television.
1368
01:27:23,800 --> 01:27:25,772
So, remote controls?
1369
01:27:25,776 --> 01:27:27,736
Doodle.
1370
01:27:27,744 --> 01:27:29,776
And then you were made
an honorary member
1371
01:27:29,784 --> 01:27:32,804
of the Royal Midsomer Yeomanry
Re-enactors,
1372
01:27:32,812 --> 01:27:35,752
and getting your hands
on their armaments.
1373
01:27:35,756 --> 01:27:37,732
That was a doddle too, wasn't it,
1374
01:27:37,740 --> 01:27:39,812
for a cunning old man that looked
like he wouldn't harm a fly?
1375
01:27:40,716 --> 01:27:43,720
Mugs, the lot of them.
1376
01:27:43,728 --> 01:27:45,808
So all you had to do was to wait
for the opportunity
1377
01:27:45,812 --> 01:27:48,788
to use your accumulated skills.
1378
01:27:48,796 --> 01:27:53,740
I suspect, Lionel, I suspect that
that opportunity came down the pub
1379
01:27:53,748 --> 01:27:56,768
when you overheard Mickey Ryan
and his idiot pals
1380
01:27:56,776 --> 01:27:59,760
concocting their plan
to humiliate Henry Hammond.
1381
01:27:59,768 --> 01:28:02,764
Then we recreate the
whole execution scenario.
1382
01:28:02,768 --> 01:28:04,788
See how he likes it.
1383
01:28:08,776 --> 01:28:10,756
Then he went to Danny's room.
1384
01:28:13,728 --> 01:28:15,724
I bet that particular weapon
1385
01:28:15,732 --> 01:28:17,736
pleased your sense of justice,
eh, Lionel?
1386
01:28:17,740 --> 01:28:19,792
It killed my dad.
1387
01:28:19,796 --> 01:28:21,772
Then up on Hammond Hill
1388
01:28:21,780 --> 01:28:26,760
you watched as Mickey Ryan
conducted his little farce.
1389
01:28:26,768 --> 01:28:28,812
Fire!
GUNSHOTS ECHO
1390
01:28:29,720 --> 01:28:30,800
Then...
PISTOL COCKS
1391
01:28:32,780 --> 01:28:36,768
..you attached a remotely
activated device
1392
01:28:36,776 --> 01:28:39,784
to Henry's electrically
operated chair.
1393
01:28:44,736 --> 01:28:46,808
And good night, Mr Hammond.
1394
01:28:46,812 --> 01:28:48,748
METAL CLANGS
1395
01:28:52,784 --> 01:28:54,796
One strange detail.
1396
01:28:54,804 --> 01:28:57,804
Why was the gun
dumped in shallow water?
1397
01:29:00,812 --> 01:29:05,764
Answer - because the thrower
was a very old man
1398
01:29:05,772 --> 01:29:07,768
who didn't have a great
deal of strength.
1399
01:29:07,772 --> 01:29:10,732
Simple explanation,
1400
01:29:10,740 --> 01:29:12,768
but one that didn't occur to me
for some little time.
1401
01:29:12,776 --> 01:29:16,752
Similarly, with the fun and games
down at the war memorial.
1402
01:29:27,796 --> 01:29:31,716
That was a very clever attempt
by Lionel
1403
01:29:31,724 --> 01:29:34,720
to deflect suspicion
away from yourself.
1404
01:29:34,724 --> 01:29:36,780
My bloody car!
1405
01:29:36,784 --> 01:29:38,772
Teach you lot to let me ride in it.
1406
01:29:38,780 --> 01:29:41,808
Then there was the death
of Johnny Hammond.
1407
01:29:42,716 --> 01:29:44,740
That must have been quite
a challenge for you, Lionel, eh?
1408
01:29:44,744 --> 01:29:46,740
Yeah. I needed all my smarts there.
1409
01:29:46,748 --> 01:29:48,788
Course you couldn't operate
a machine gun by yourself, could you?
1410
01:29:48,796 --> 01:29:51,724
But you could rig one
very effectively.
1411
01:29:53,772 --> 01:29:56,732
So you attached
all the necessary gizmos
1412
01:29:56,740 --> 01:29:59,800
and linked them through
to the garage door mechanism.
1413
01:29:59,808 --> 01:30:03,784
Thus Johnny Hammond
triggered his own death
1414
01:30:03,792 --> 01:30:05,804
within minutes of you
telephoning to tell him
1415
01:30:05,808 --> 01:30:08,752
his solicitor wanted to see him.
1416
01:30:12,812 --> 01:30:15,792
Same with the bailer, I guess.
1417
01:30:15,800 --> 01:30:18,768
Rigging it up was
a stroke of genius.
1418
01:30:18,772 --> 01:30:21,800
Dad...why?
1419
01:30:21,804 --> 01:30:24,768
Why'd you do all this?
1420
01:30:24,772 --> 01:30:26,720
The Hammonds killed my dad!
1421
01:30:27,756 --> 01:30:29,760
But you've been living with that
for 80 years.
1422
01:30:29,768 --> 01:30:31,736
It wasn't just that.
No.
1423
01:30:32,764 --> 01:30:35,812
Months ago Biddy, told you
the whole story, didn't she?
1424
01:30:37,760 --> 01:30:39,776
It was even worse.
1425
01:30:39,784 --> 01:30:44,740
Tommy Hicks was executed
by his own half-brother.
1426
01:30:46,752 --> 01:30:48,784
Alleged half-brother.
1427
01:30:48,788 --> 01:30:51,748
That is still not proven.
1428
01:30:51,752 --> 01:30:52,804
Well, it's true.
1429
01:30:52,812 --> 01:30:54,800
Tommy and Dougie Hammond
was brothers.
1430
01:30:54,808 --> 01:30:58,792
But Dougie didn't want a Hicks
muscling in on their family.
1431
01:30:58,796 --> 01:31:03,732
"No scum in the toffs' trough."
1432
01:31:04,776 --> 01:31:07,772
You heard Dave and Danny
talk about the day
1433
01:31:07,780 --> 01:31:10,752
that the North Meadow
would go to the Hicks.
1434
01:31:10,760 --> 01:31:12,764
Yeah, and I thought,
"Why should we wait?"
1435
01:31:12,772 --> 01:31:14,768
We'd waited long enough
for what's ours,
1436
01:31:14,772 --> 01:31:16,768
what those bastards owed us.
1437
01:31:16,776 --> 01:31:19,772
So I got them, didn't I?
I did, I got them.
1438
01:31:19,780 --> 01:31:24,800
Dad, you are going to spend
the rest of your life in jail.
1439
01:31:24,804 --> 01:31:27,780
How long is that? 10 minutes?
1440
01:31:28,796 --> 01:31:30,768
Year?
1441
01:31:30,772 --> 01:31:33,740
Life - who cares? I won.
1442
01:31:34,780 --> 01:31:36,744
I won the war!
1443
01:31:38,724 --> 01:31:42,744
♪ It's the soldiers of the Queen,
my lad
1444
01:31:42,748 --> 01:31:44,740
♪ Who've been, my lads
1445
01:31:44,744 --> 01:31:46,740
♪ Who've seen, my lads
1446
01:31:46,748 --> 01:31:49,812
♪ In the fight for
England's glory lad
1447
01:31:50,716 --> 01:31:53,732
♪ The soldiers of the Queen. ♪
1448
01:31:55,732 --> 01:31:57,744
I did it for you, Dad.
1449
01:32:08,812 --> 01:32:11,716
(MAN GIVES INSTRUCTIONS)
1450
01:32:16,780 --> 01:32:19,740
How did it go?
As expected.
1451
01:32:19,748 --> 01:32:22,760
Unfit to plead,
detained at her Majesty's pleasure.
1452
01:32:22,768 --> 01:32:25,744
How did you get His Honour
to do this for free?
1453
01:32:25,752 --> 01:32:29,756
His Honour is doing this
out of the kindness of his heart.
1454
01:32:30,768 --> 01:32:32,780
That is nice.
Well, I thought so.
1455
01:32:37,772 --> 01:32:40,772
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