All language subtitles for Finians Rainbow 1968

On the day I was born

Said me father, said he

"I've an elegant legacy
Waiting for ye

'Tis a rhyme for your lip
And a song for your heart

To sing it whenever
The world falls apart"

Look, look
Look to the rainbow

Follow it over
The hill and stream

Look, look
Look to the rainbow

Follow the fellow
Who follows a dream

'Twas a sumptuous gift
To bequeath to a child

For the lure of that song
Keeps me head runnin ' wild

'Tis a rhyme for me lip
And a song for me heart

And I sing it whenever
The world falls apart

Look, look
Look to the rainbow

Follow it over
The hill and stream

Look, look
Look to the rainbow

Follow the fellow
Who follows a dream

So I bundled me heart
And I roamed the world free

To the East with the light
To the West with the sea

And I searched all the earth
And I scanned all the skies

But I found it at last
In my own true love's eyes

Look, look
Look to the rainbow

Follow it over
The hill and stream

Look, look
Look to the rainbow

Follow the fellow
Who follows a dream

Follow the fellow
Follow the fellow

Follow the fellow

Who follows a dream

Eureka!

- Sharon, come quickly.
- What is it now, Father?

We're here. It's journey's end.
Our destination at last.

Thank heaven. Now I can sit down.

No, you can't sit you down.
It's the hill beyond yon hill.

I've been hearing about the hill beyond
yon hill ever since we left Ireland.

Keep your distance. Don't crowd around.
Clear the way.

- Step aside.
- What's going on here?

- They're gonna have an auction.
- A what?

They're gonna have it today.

You gonna get this auction
started now or ain't you?

Hear ye! Hear ye!

Now, wait a minute!

You can't have an auction without first
talking to Susan Mahoney.

- Why not?
- Henry, go get Susan.

Because her brother owns this property,
that's why not.

I beg your pardon.

The law states this property belongs
to anybody who can pay the back taxes.

- And that's me.
- You mean, Senator Rawkins has it.

- You're just his stooge.
- And Woody don't like stooges.

- Who's Woody?
- He's Susan's brother.

He's nothing but a troublemaking
con man.

He is not. Woody's president...

...and general sales manager of the
Rainbow Valley Tobacco Cooperative.

Incorporated.

- What's that?
- Us!

- They're sharecroppers.
- Sure are.

That's how we'll all get rich together.

Woody promised me personally.

- Susan's trying to tell you something.
- I'm listening.

- What she say, Henry?
- She says Woody's coming.

- Woody.
- Woody?

- I didn't hear her say anything.
- Naturally, she was born silent.

One of the few women ever was.

Sure, mister. She don't do "talk" talk.
She does foot talk.

Foot talk? That's ridiculous.

- What's she saying now?
- She says you gotta wait for Woody.

He's bringing the money.

Quiet!

- Tax sale gonna start now.
- It's all right. Woody's coming.

Woody's coming.

Woody's coming. Woody's coming.
Woody's coming.

It's my duty to protect the people
of Rainbow Valley.

- Who from?
- From the people of Rainbow Valley.

Hear ye, hear ye.

We can't be bothered
with the mortgage man...

This time of the year!

You'll be sorry interfering
with the law.

For spring don 't care
About the mortgage man

This time of the year

I'm giving you your last chance
to get back your land.

The dandelions in the dusky dell
Don 't give a hoot in hell

- They're gonna smell without collateral
- This time of the year

- This time
- This time of the year

- Sweet merry buds and elderberry buds
- Don 't give a good ding-ding-dang

Corn 's shooting up
Fruit trees a-fruitin ' up

Go tell Rawkins to go hang-hang

Don 't mess around here

This time of the year

You'll get it in the rear

This time of the year

Magnolia 's are sentimental
Persimmons are queer

Keep your distance, now.
Give way, there.

You hear me? I said, keep your distance.

Don 't easily skeer

They sprout without real-estaters
This time of the year

That choo-choo 's comin '
And it's mighty clear

Woo, woo, Woody's here

He's up there ridin ' with the engineer
Yes, Woody's here

Just look at that choo-choo puffin '
Let's give it a mighty cheer

Just look at that engine huffin '
Dang blast it all, Woody's here

Woody's here!

Get a load of that whistle blowin '
That whistle is good to hear

It's wantin ' you to be knowin '
Dang blast it all, Woody's here

Woody's here!

Woody's here!

And to think I let you whisk me
out of Ireland...

...across an ocean
and down a continent...

...in the sweet, green month of April.
And for what?

For a beautiful new life
in a beautiful new land.

- We came here to cure your arthritis.
- Aye, that too. That too.

Well, it's me that's cured
of your arthritis.

It's all mythical, and so is that cure place
for it called Rainbow Valley.

Now you've gone just a bit too far.

Here I have it on me map, witnessed
and endorsed by Rand and McNally.

I don't know who Rand is,
but I could never trust a McNally.

But you can always trust a McLonergan.

Behold, that mythical land
called Rainbow Valley.

Sharon, shake hands with a millionaire.

- A millionaire?
- A multimillionaire.

- Now what's happened to your arthritis?
- That's for the poor.

I knew you were up to something. Now,
will you stand still and listen to me?

I can't. I can't. Oh, no.

Ever since I was 2,
you've been seeing leprechauns...

...and rainbows over your whiskey jug.

Now, what pixified fancy of yours
has really brought us to America, huh?

You'll love it here. You'll have everything
you left behind in Glocca Morra.

You hear that?

What did I tell you? The same
skylark music we have back in Ireland.

- Aye, a Glocca Morra skylark.
- Aye.

I hear a bird

A Glocca Morra bird

It well may be he's bringin ' me
A cheerin ' word

I hear a breeze

A River Shannon breeze

It well may be
It's followed me across the seas

Then tell me please

How are things in Glocca Morra?

Is that little brook still leapin ' there?

Does it still run down to Donny Cove

Through Killybegs, Kilkerry and Kildare?

How are things in Glocca Morra?

Is that willow tree still weepin ' there?

Does that laddie with the twinklin ' eye
Come whistlin ' by

And does he walk away
Sad and dreamy there

Not to see me there?

So I ask each weepin ' willow

And each brook along the way

And each lad that comes a-whistlin '

"Too-ra-lay"

How are things in Glocca Morra...

... these fine days?

Oh, now, Father, why are you crying?

Oh, it's that cheap Irish music.

Where is everybody?

- Hello?
- Hello?

Where are all the children?

What the devil?

He's up there ridin ' with the engineer
Yes, Woody's here

Someone's coming. You better get up
in that tree and take a look.

Don 't easily skeer
They'll sprout without real-estaters

This time of the year

It's only the folk who live here.

America's full of gangsters, you know.

You said it was full of millionaires.

Don't argue.

Can 't be bothered
With the mortgage man

This time of the year

Here. Take this.

The spring don 't care
About the mortgage men

This time of the year

It's... It's gold.

- Aye. It's a pot of gold.
- And you stole it.

- I never stole it. I borrowed it.
- But...

...who did you borrow it from?

- Why do you want to know?
- So we can lend it back.

- It's impossible.
- Why not?

Because he's not mortal.

- You killed him.
- Of course not.

He never was mortal. He's a leprechaun.

A leprechaun?

Aye. Who else would have
gold in Ireland?

They sprout without real-estaters
This time of the year

Now that Woody's here

Now that Woody's here

Now that Woody's here

Now, don't think that this is gonna
stop the auction.

You gonna pay them off?

Hey, Howard. You watch me.

Hear ye! Hear ye!

You ain't making
a burlesque of the law.

Why not? That's where
the law spends most its time.

Seen him in the front row
last Monday night, Woody.

- Bet you did.
- Ain't true! Ain't true!

Quiet! This is an unlawful assembly.

Then this unlawful assembly
is gonna have to come to order.

All right.

Read it.

Read it.

"Rainbow Valley parcel lot seven...

...is hereby up for auction
for default of back taxes...

...in the amount of $ 777."

- $ 777 going once!
- Yes!

- $ 777 going twice!
- Yes!

- $ 777 going three times!
- Yes!

Sold! To the Rainbow Valley Tobacco
Cooperative Incorporated.

Yeah. That's old Woody.

This covers it, except:

"Service charges, notary services...

...penalty and penal points,
convertible debentures...

...miscellaneous and sundry
add-on interest."

Another $ 77.

No, it never said nothing about this
in that bill you sent to my sister Susan.

Well, that's how it is with interest.
Don't make a sound.

- Just keeps compounding.
- Ain't you got the balance of the money?

- I figure I'm good for it.
- Cash.

All right, come on, sheriff.

Wait a minute.

Give me a chance to get
my money back on this guitar.

It's too late for that.

Money don't grow on trees, you know.

It does for Woody.

Hey, Buzz, say hello to Rawkins!

Rawkins hears about this,
we'll both be looking for new jobs.

Come on, sheriff!

Well, now. What do we have here?

- It's an angel.
- Shame on the frivolous likes of you.

It's an Irish angel.

Your kith and kin pinning
their hopes on you...

...and you go squandering your money
on a music box.

I did it for them.

It's a community guitar.

Aye, and I'm sure that's how
you'll use it...

...on every girl in the community.

Daughter, that's no way to be talking
to me future business partner.

Partner?

You accepted me money
for back taxes, didn't you?

- I intend to pay you back.
- I don't want you to.

I just want me property rights.

How much land you think
you're entitled to?

An acre or so. All I really need
is a parcel of land as big as me bag...

...on the closest point to Fort Knox.

We are in the vicinity of Fort Knox,
are we not?

About two miles.

In fact, on a warm night,
you can smell the gold.

Have we a deal?

- Yeah!
- Yeah!

- It's a deal.
- Then give me your hand, son.

- Welcome to Rainbow Valley...
- Hi.

...home of the most prosperous
tobacco company...

...in this state.
And I'll wager that.

What's your name?

Sharon McLonergan.

- Mine's Woody Mahoney.
- Mahoney. It's fate.

How'd you get so pretty...

...and so rich?

You see, back in Glocca Morra where
we come from, there's an old legend.

And it says:

You'll never grow old
And you'll never grow poor

If you look to the rainbow
Beyond the next moor

- That's a lovely legend.
- Aye.

- Wonder who thought it up.
- Me father.

Finian McLonergan.

On the day she was born

Said her father, said he

"I've an elegant legacy waiting for ye

'Tis a rhyme for your lip

And a song for your heart

To sing it whenever
The world falls apart

Look, look
Look to the rainbow

Follow it over
The hill and stream

Look, look
Look to the rainbow

Follow the fellow
Who follows a dream"

So I bundled me heart
And I roamed the world free

To the East with the lark
To the West with the sea

And I searched all the earth
And I scanned all the skies

But I found it at last
In my own true love's eyes

Look, look
Look to the rainbow

Follow it over
The hill and stream

Look, look
Look to the rainbow

Follow the fellow
Who follows a dream

Follow the fellow...

Follow the fellow

Follow the fellow

Who follows a dream

Bye.

Father?

Now, what would you be doing
up at this hour?

I'm taking care of you.

Any time the moon is full,
a McLonergan will be too.

You go back to bed.

Where are you going
with that bag and shovel?

Now, will you leave me be
if I tell you?

Aye.

Then let me ask you this.

What do you think makes America
different from Ireland?

Has more Irishmen.

It has more money.

Everyone in America is rich.

But, Father, are there
no poor in America?

No ill-housed and no ill-clad?

Of course. But they're the best ill-housed
and the best ill-clad in all the world.

Why? Why, I ask.

And there's no man with
wit enough to tell me.

So I'll tell you. Quote me self, quote.

Didn't the Americans rush to dig gold
from the ground in California in 1849?

So I've heard.

And didn't they plant it in the soil
at Fort Knox later?

- Granted.
- Well, that's it!

You see, there's something about
the soil in and around Fort Knox...

...that gives a magical quality to gold.

- Father...
- The gold radiates a powerful influence...

...throughout America.
It activates assembly lines in Detroit...

...it makes skyscrapers sprout
from the gutters of New York...

...and it produces a bumper crop
of millionaires. And that...

...is the McLonergan theory
of economics.

And that's why we came
to America?

Aye. To bury me pot of gold.

Now, you go back to bed.
It's a witching night.

Aye. Very scary place.

I'II... I'II... I'II...

One, two...

...four, five, six, seven, eight.

Green is the color of the shamrock

And the grass on Blarney Hill

Oh, the darlin ' green of Ireland

And the good old dollar bill

God be with you.

God and Mary be with ye?

God, Mary and St. Patrick be with ye.

God, Mary, St. Patrick
and St. Ozymandias be with ye.

- Ozymandias? I never heard of him.
- He was a special saint.

He's the patron saint of
all the leprechauns of Glocca Morra.

- My name is Og.
- Og from Glocca Morra?

- Me native heath.
- Right.

You're an imposter. You can't be
a leprechaun, you're too tall!

I know, and I'm getting taller!

I need your help, Mr. McLonergan.

- Me help?
- Aye.

That calls for a toast.

I rise to welcome you to America.

- How are things in Glocca Morra?
- Alas, alack and willy-wally.

I weep for Glocca Morra
and all Ireland.

You weep? Why, what's happened?

A blight has fallen over Ireland.

- The British are back.
- Never seen such a curse befall a folk...

...in all me 459 years.

Alas, poor Ireland.

- Poor Ireland.
- Poor Ireland!

- Suffering Ireland.
- Suffering Ireland!

- The native land!
- Oh, me native land!

A fine lot of fairyfolk you are,
letting all this happen.

Why don't you wish it away.

We lost the power.

You mean you've gone and lost
the power to make wishes?

- Aye.
- What has Ireland to live for now?

- Answer me that.
- Doom and gloom!

Doom and gloom!

- Who's the author of this foul outrage?
- A monster.

- A monster?
- Aye.

You mean the old flame-breathing type,
with the head of a dragon?

Oh, no. This is a tiny, wee monster.
He's about...

...your size.
- Who is he?

Who is this monster?

Excuse me for pointing,
Mr. McLonergan, but it's you.

- Me?
- You brought the blight on yourself...

...when you stole our crock of gold!

The little crock that gives us
all the power to wish.

Don't be superstitious, it's bad luck!

- Give it back, Mr. McLonergan.
- How do you know I've got it?

Me magnetic feathers pointed you out
all the way from Ireland.

Feathers, who's the culprit?

Oh, me arthritis!

Give it back, Mr. McLonergan,
before a great evil befalls you.

Can't you postpone your wishing
a couple of months?

Gold was never meant for mankind.

It's a fairyland metal
that only fairyfolk can use.

In the hands of a mortal,
it can only bring...

...doom and gloom.

Doom and gloom!

Doom and gloom.
Stop your wailing, leprechaun.

I've come to a decision.
I deny your existence.

- You're a figment of me imagination.
- I am?

To prove it, I'm going to walk
through you.

Step aside. There, what did I tell you?

This is dreadful.

- I don't exist.
- Of course not.

I'm always seeing things.
Ask me daughter.

But if I don't exist, how is it
I'm gradually becoming mortal?

- The saints preserve us. You are.
- Aye.

So are all the other little leprechauns
ever since you stole our crock of gold.

Look at me. Look!
It's crept past me ankles already.

- Can't you hold out until the winter?
- I don't know.

I got a peculiar human feeling
in me thighs lately.

Your thighs? Don't let it
go any higher, man.

- Mary and Joseph, Ireland's ruined.
- Father!

- Someone's coming.
- Me daughter.

And now that you're half mortal,
you're indecent. Here, here, take these.

Now, you heard me, now.

You take those clothes and...

Father!

Father!

Sharon!

Mr. McLonergan!

- Father!
- Sharon!

- Father!
- Sharon!

Mr. McLonergan!

- Father!
- What fools these mortals be.

- Mr...
- Father...

Father!

Now, what's a nice girl like you
doing in a place like this?

Oh, it's you, Mr. Mahoney.

I was looking for me father.

Not too long ago...

...they find a girl in the forest
in the middle of the night...

...they'd think that she was...

...a witch.

Is that so? Well...

If you'll excuse me, l...
I'll be saying good evening to you.

You're not afraid of the werewolves?

Werewolves?

Our valley has its legends too,
you know.

Haven't you noticed how strange
the sky looks?

It is a trifle strange.

And look at the moon.

It is a cold, full moon.

The legend of the valley:

When the sky is strange...

...and the moon is full...

...the werewolves prowl.

- Unless...
- Unless?

That's a complicated part,
and I know you're in a hurry.

Oh, no, Mr. Mahoney. I'd like to know
the complicated part of the legend.

It's how to make yourself immune
from the werewolf.

Well, how would I be doing that?

Well...

...you have to stand very, very close
to the nicest, handsomest fellow around.

That must be you.

Must be.

Then you make yourself comfortable
on the grass.

Now, you blink your eyes twice...

...and keep them closed.

Now you say...

..."petrified parsley" over and over,
real fast.

Petrified parsley, petrified parsley,
petrified parsley...

- Feel immune yet?
- No.

Petrified parsley, petrified parsley,
petrified parsley...

That's a lovely legend.

Who made it up?

I did.

I look at you and suddenly

Something in your eyes I see

Soon begins bewitching me

It's that old devil moon

That you stole from the skies

It's that old devil moon

In your eyes

You and your glance
Make this romance

Too hot to handle

Stars in the night
Blazing their light

Can 't hold a candle
To your razzle-dazzle

You got me flyin ' high and wide

On a magic carpet ride

Full of butterflies inside

I wanna cry
Wanna croon

Wanna laugh
Just like a loon

It's that old devil moon

In your eyes

I look at you

And glory be

Something in your eyes I see

Soon begins bewitching me

It's that old devil moon

That you stole from the skies

It's that old devil moon
In your eyes

You and your glance make this romance
Too hot to handle

Stars in the night blazin ' their light
Can 't hold a candle

To your razzle-dazzle

You got me flyin ' high and wide

On a magic carpet ride

Full of butterflies inside

I wanna cry

I wanna croon

I want to laugh like a loon

It's that old devil moon

In your eyes

Just when I think I'm

Free as a dove

Old devil moon
Deep in your eyes

Blinds me with...

- ... love
- Yeah

- Howard, old buddy!
- Hey, Woody!

How's the Luther Burbank
of the swamp?

- Mr. Moneybags.
- How you doing?

I've been waiting for you.
Where you been?

Sharon, meet Howard.
Howard, this is Sharon.

How do you do? Nice to meet you.

Woody, I'm glad you're here.
I got the list all made out.

Fifty feet of styrene tubing, quarter inch,
250 pounds of nitrogen tripalminate...

The voice you hear is the voice
of the greatest research botanist today.

He's gonna change
our whole way of life...

...and he's gonna do it
with these little flowers right here.

- They're all his babies.
- We're doing it together.

Woody thought it up,
and I'm growing them up.

I ain't nothing but
a suede-shoe boy peddling tobacco.

But Howard...
Howard is the first man in history...

...to mate the mint plant with tobacco.
You realize what that means.

No.

You are looking at
the mentholated tobacco plant.

Here, smell.

Smell the mint-julep nicotine.

That's nice. Really smells lovely.

It's a whole new form of tobacco life.

- It only has one drawback.
- What's that?

Well, it doesn't burn.

It doesn't burn?

It's worse than asbestos.

It actually puts fires out.
We're working on it.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Now that you're all back,
fat with cash...

...gotta get to work.
Once I rig the styrene tubing...

...I'll take the nitrogen tripalminate
in powdered form...

That's what I've been meaning
to talk to you about.

What's that? The styrene tubing or the
nitrogen tripalminate in powdered form?

- The cash.
- Yeah, what about the cash?

I got some great things going. I made
some contacts you wouldn't believe.

Wait, wait. Contacts? No cash?

Not a dime.

Well, you didn't bring back any cash,
I'll go out and get some.

How?

I'll get a job. Yeah.

But you've got a job, Howard.
That's to make it burn. Make it burn!

Is that dedication?

Mr. Mahoney?

You're going to make plenty
of money for everyone?

You bet.

Without doing a stitch of work for it?

Why not?

And is that what you call
the "Mahoney theory of economics"?

No, but that's a pretty good name for it.

Why don't you grow ordinary tobacco
that does burn?

Never get rich that way.

See you soon, Sharon.
Hey, Howard, buddy!

Don't take that personal. He's trained
to do that to anyone what ain't white.

- You're the new boy from the agency.
- Yeah.

Okay, Stonewall.

Ain't I seen you somewhere?

- You worked here as a butler, didn't you?
- Oh, no, no.

No, sir.

Well, you'll like working here, boy.

I've hired all of the senator's butlers
for the past 10 years.

Hundreds of them. Of course,
he's a little intolerant at times...

...but that's his blood pressure.

- What's your name?
- Howard.

Let me see you serve that julep.

Rawkins won't like that. That's no way
to serve a julep. It's too fast.

Get some shuffle into it.

You've seen some of the new movies,
like Birth of a Nation...

...and Gone With the Wind, haven't you?

- Here, George, like this.
- Howard.

Yeah, okay, Jackson.

Your julep, sir. Master Rawkins, sir.

All frosted and minty...

You see, George?

Why do I have to shuffle?

Now, I don't have to explain that to you.

It makes for kindly feelings
between employer and employee.

Once more, now. Try it again.
And not so fast this time.

How did you do that again?

I don't understand you, Jackson.

I mean, you don't walk or talk
like you're supposed to.

You don't know how to serve a julep
like you're supposed to.

You educated or something?

I'm working on my master's.

Working on your master's what?

It's a college degree.

Now, don't mention the word "college"
around the senator. It upsets him.

But that's beside the point.
Do you want a job here, or don't you?

Yes, sir, I do.

I needs the money.

Well, that's all the more reason
for you to make good here.

Then when you get your college degree,
why, you got a job here for life.

- Buzz!
- Oh, I'll speak to you later.

You go around back
and keep practicing, hear?

- Buzz, where are you?
- I'm over here, senator.

- I can't seem to see you.
- It's these columns, senator.

- They sort of get in the way.
- Nonsense.

Those columns haven't
moved an inch in a hundred years.

Meet me down by the glider.

Yep. Fine job you done yesterday, Buzz...

...buying up all that land.
- Yes, sir. Bought up the whole valley.

Except one little parcel.

That'll teach them bureaucrats to stay
where they belong, in Washington.

Cheap electric power.

Why don't they build their dam
on the Potomac...

...instead of desecrating
this heaven-given valley...

...with a lot of copper wire.

Electrocuting innocent bullfinches
and sparrows.

Gentlemen...

...the festering tides of radicalism
are upon us.

But before I yield up
our glorious South...

...and her sister commonwealth,
the U.S. Of A...

...I will lay down my life.

I will do more than that. I will filibuster.

Back, you crackpots. Forward, America.

Forward to the hallowed principles
of our forefathers.

Forward to the sweet tranquility
of the status quo.

Forward to yesterday.

Get this dog off... Get him off me.

Caught him dead to rights, senator.
Spank on your property.

Oh, damn it, sheriff, can't you arrest
a couple of chicken thieves...

...without disturbing
the whole countryside?

Worse than chicken thieves this time.
These are geologists from Washington.

Geologists?

Two?

- I only see one.
- Senator.

This is a geological survey of the soil
in this area in connection with the dam.

I don't need nobody to tell me
what's on my land.

Especially one of his kind.

Look, I read the findings on this meter.

It detected gold on your property
this afternoon.

You found what on my property?

It located an amazing
concentration of gold.

The meter reacted so violently,
it broke the needle.

We're sorry about that needle,
but we'll reimburse you. Now...

Just where did this unfortunate
needle-breaking accident occur?

Parcel lot number seven,
right outside Rainbow Valley.

- Oh, my God.
- What are you mumbling about, Buzz?

Invite these gentlemen
up on the veranda.

It isn't every day we're honored
with the presence...

...of two distinguished scientists
from Washington, D.C.

Sorry, senator,
we've got more ground to cover.

Gentlemen, I wish you'd accept
my hospitality.

Senator?

That was the strip I told you about.

- What strip?
- The one we couldn't buy.

Well, gentlemen, I'm sorry
you gotta rush off like this...

...but you hurry back
real soon, now, hear?

We couldn't buy it? Who bought it?

We found out it was a man
named Finian McLonergan.

Yankee brain!
Why weren't you prepared for him?

I never saw him before.
He's an immigrant.

My family's been having trouble
with immigrants...

...ever since they come to this country!
- Don't you get excited!

You'll feel better when
you've had your julep.

To hell with my julep!
Get me a Bromo, quick.

Howard!

Howard! Bring the senator
a Bromo-Seltzer, quick!

And call my lawyer.
Tell him to find a loophole.

Where's that Bromo?

- Where's that Bromo, Howard?
- My loophole's choking me.

Where's that Bromo?

Coming, master. Coming.

I'm coming all in there, yes, sir.
Yeah, I'm coming.

Will you hurry up on that Bromo?!

You're gonna enjoy it
once I get to you.

- Get him his Bromo!
- Coming in there fast as I can.

- Will you hurry up with it?!
- Coming right there, fix your head good.

Mercy, sure gonna make you
feel like you flying.

- Please, please hurry up with the...
- Come on, Howard!

Come on!

Howard, come on!

- Please bring me my...
- Howard!

Oh, Lord, I'm coming in.

Howard! Come on, bring that!
Get over here!

How are things in Glocca Morra?

Is that willow tree
Still weepin ' there?

Does that laddie
With the twinklin ' eye

Come whistlin ' by

And does he walk away

Sad and dreamy there

- Sharon!
- Aye?

- Haven't you laundered my shirt yet?
- It's coming, it's coming.

Not to see me there?

Not so hard. You'll be wringing
the Irish out of the linen.

It is the neck of the Mahoney
I'm wringing.

Oh, good, good, good. Lover's quarrel.
Healthy sign.

Are you sure?

I know true devotion when I see it.

I know a fine, upstanding darling
of a man when I see one.

He's leaving for parts unknown
this morning.

He's what? He's running out on you?

He's off to sell tobacco
that doesn't burn. He's a schemer.

- You're well rid of him.
- An impractical dreamer.

- It's deplorable.
- Total no-good bounder.

Get the wretch out of your mind.

- He's just like you.
- Aye, a darling of a man.

Now, look. Now, just a minute.
Now, don't you be crying.

A special rose...

...for your hair.

It has magical properties.

Beautiful bride you'll be.

All by myself, or is there a man involved?

Aye, there is.

He doesn't know it,
but before sundown...

...Mr. Woody Mahoney will find
himself betroth-ted to you.

"Betrothed."

Betroth-ted!

How are things

In Glocca Morra

This...

... fine...

Well, this is a pretty bucket of fish.

How would you explain
these shenanigans?

- Lf you won't speak, back into the well.
- Oh, no! No!

So you've found your tongue.
Speak up for yourself.

- Why were you hiding in that well?
- I wasn't hiding.

Someone set me on fire,
and I had to put myself out.

Oh, I see. Who was it
put the torch to you?

A sunbeam.

- A sunbeam?
- Sunbeam disguised as a fairy queen.

But you can't fool me.
I know a sunbeam when I see one.

Thank you.

- You're very poetical.
- Don't come too close!

I'll have to jump again!

I'm beginning to understand.

I've known that feeling myself.

- You have?
- Well, only recently.

Came over me this morning, as you
were sunning your hair by the brook.

Is it a warmish...

...kind of glowish,
kind of peculiarish sensation?

Oh, no, it's sort of a shiverish, kind of
quiverish, flibbertigibberish sensation.

- Do you feel hummingbirds in your heart?
- Butterflies in my feet.

- Bees in your bonnet?
- Stars in my britches.

Does it make you want to dance?

- I hadn't noticed.
- And sing?

Oh, it does, it does.

Something sweet

Something sort of grandish
Sweeps my soul

When thou art near

My heart feels
So sugar-candish

My head feels
So ginger beer

Something so darish
So "I don 't car-ish"

Stirs me from limb to limb

It's so terrifish
Magnifish, delish

To have such an amorish
Glamorish dish

We could be
Oh, so bride-and-groomish

Skies could be
So bluish blue

Life could be
So love-in-bloom-ish

If my ish-es
Could come true

Thou art sweet
Thou art sort of grandish

Thou outlandish cavalier

From now on
We're hand-in-handish

- Romeo
- And Guinevere

Thou art so adorish
Toujour I'amourish

I'm so cherchez la femme

Why should I vanquish
Relinquish, resish?

When I simply relish
This hellish condish

I might be mannish or mouse-ish

I might be a fowl or fish

But with thee I'm Eisenhows-ish

Please accept my proposish

You're under my skin-ish
So please be give in-ish

Or it's the begin-ish
Of the finish of me

What was that splash?

'Twas me, singing a duet.

A duet? By yourself?

Well, it could be, you know.

After all, I'm a witch, remember?

Train's pulling out soon.

I wanted to say goodbye.

Well, goodbye.

- What kind of a goodbye is that?
- The best kind. Short, sweet and final.

How come I feel
you're losing interest in me?

- Losing? Losing?
- I'm going away so I can come back...

...and make everybody rich!
- Lost!

Sharon.

We're having a party
We're having a party

Oh, Finian 's party we're having today

We're having a party
We're having a party...

Hey, what's going on?

- What's the occasion, Mr. McLonergan?
- What? Haven't you heard the gossip?

Me daughter Sharon's
getting betroth-ted today.

Singing a duet with herself!

Sharon 's getting betroth-ted
Sharon is getting betroth-ted today

Sharon is getting betroth-ted...

I hope you won't be taking it
too hard, son.

- But then you'll be leaving town anyhow.
- I got a deal cooking, Mr. McLonergan...

I understand when a man's got
a deal cooking.

He's got to cook it,
or it won't get cooked.

On the other hand, many deals
are cooked at home in your own pot...

...of gold.

- Gold?
- But then again...

...what is the cold, hard metal compared
to the golden hair of the girl you love?

- Nothing.
- You're right.

Then tell me, why are you
gallivanting all over the countryside...

...promoting and cooking deals when the
lady you fancy is to be betroth-ted?

Well, who's she gonna marry?

I hope you won't be after
taking it too hard.

Why should I? It's only love.

- That's a sensible attitude.
- Right.

Wait a minute! Who's the guy?
Now, who is he?

Now, if I tell you,
you won't be making any trouble?

I promise.

Very well.

It was last night she met him
in the forest...

...and they sang about the moon.

Mr. McLonergan, that was me.

- Well, was it, now?
- Yeah.

Are you sure?

Of course! It was me all along.

Well, that's a blessed relief.

Therefore, it's you
that's getting betroth-ted today.

- "Betrothed."
- Oh, yes, betrothed.

Finian McLonergan.

Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

Susan's trying to tell us something.

- What's she saying?
- I can't tell. It's a secret.

- Woody, you tell them.
- Okay.

A secret, a secret
She says she's got a secret

A secret, a secret
A secret kind of secret

She's achin ' for to shout it
To every daffodil

And tell the world about it
In fact, she says she will

- She says
- She says

If this isn 't love
The whole world is crazy

If this isn 't love
I'm daft as a daisy

With moons all around
And cows jumpin ' over

There's something amiss
And I'll eat my hat if this isn 't love

I'm feeling like the apple
On top of William Tell

With this I cannot grapple

- Because
- Because

You're so adora-bell

If this isn 't love
Then winter is summer

Give in to summer

- lf this isn 't love
- lf this isn 't love

- My heart needs a plumber
- It needs a plumber

I'm swinging on stars
And ridin ' on rainbows

I'm bustin ' with bliss
And I'll kiss your hand if this isn 't love

If this isn 't love
There's no Glocca Morra

If this isn 't love
I'm Zsa Zsa Gabor-a

If this is a dream
And if I should wake up

Will you hear a hiss
Will my face be red if this isn 't love

I'm gettin ' tired of waitin '
And stickin ' to the rules

This feelin ' calls for matin '
Like birds and bees and other animules

If this isn 't love
We're all seein ' double

If this isn 't love
We're really in trouble

- lf she's not the girl
- And he's not the hero

A kiss ain 't a kiss
It's a crisis, man, if this isn 't love

If this isn 't love

He's happy to shout
And to tell the world about it

And I'll kiss your hand
If this isn 't love

McLonergan!

How dare you come back here? Didn't I
tell you you're an optical delusion?

I was ready to believe you yesterday,
but not today.

- Today I've got proof.
- What proof?

Does an optical illusion feel such a
hungry yearning, burning inside of him?

Does an optical illusion feel
the beat of the tom-tom...

...in the roaring traffic's
boom in his Ionely room?

You flying high and wide on a
magic-carpet ride...

...full of butterflies inside?

Aye, and what's worse,
smoke keeps coming out of me eyes.

You go round
like an elevator lost in the tide?

That's the feeling!
Day and night, night and day!

Give me your daughter.

- What's she got to do with it?
- She's the one under my skin.

- Leprechaun, you're playing with fire.
- I know, and the fire's winning!

I don't wanna be human.
I don't wanna be human.

- It's too inhuman.
- You're neurotic.

- Who's forcing you to be human?
- You are, by keeping my crock of gold!

I'm only lend-leasing it. Give me a few
weeks and I'll return it with interest.

Five and a quarter little crocks.

I hope you're not using it
to make wishes.

In the hands of a mortal it's only good
for three, and after it becomes dross.

The way you talk, anyone would think
I never had a pot to wish on.

I'm sorry, Mr. McLonergan.
I'm being a nuisance.

You're damn right you are!
You're worse than that!

You're the nemesis on me premises.
You're endangering me whole project.

- Where's your passport?
- What's that?

I thought so. How dare you come into
a free country without a passport?

I'm legal, all right.
I came in as a Christmas tree.

But I'm not leaving
till I see me crock!

And I'm seeing me congressman,
Senator Rawkins...

...and I'm having you deported!

You're a member
of a subversive, underground group...

...taking its orders from Dublin!

Woody's gettin ' betroth-ted
Woody is gettin ' betroth-ted today

Hey, mister, did you see our rooster?

I got enough troubles
of me own, thank you.

What kind of a rooster was he?

- He had pink...
- Green feet...

- And a yellow...
- Wait a minute. Wait!

- How many roosters did you lose?
- One!

- One rooster, all those colors?
- Yeah!

Well, now, let me see, now.

- Would this be it?
- Yeah!

- He must be magic!
- That's right! You get the prize.

- Do you do other magical things too?
- I do, but we'll have to act very quickly.

- I need your help. Will you help me?
- Yeah!

Now, listen. Somewhere hidden
in the ground around here...

...is a little yellow crock.

If any of you find it for me,
you can pick anything you like...

...here in me little magic book.

That's nothing!
We all have one of those.

Yes, but the difference is, from mine
you can have anything you choose.

- Can I have a banjo?
- Can I get a fishing rod?

- Can I have an elephant?
- You can have anything you like...

...that's made in fairyland.
- Without money?

There'll be things
Plenty-ish for all-ish

Wonderish toys
And magic tricks

Electrish trains
And basketball-ish

Mintish drops
And licorish sticks

Life will be keen-ish
All Halloween-ish

And jelly bean-ish too

With ice cream and cake-ish
And soda to sup

And no bellyache-ish
To wakish you up

There will be
Such delicious dishes

And we'll end
This daffish plot

For we'll go
From rags to rishes

When we find
That goldish pot

There'll be chocolate custish
With hot dogs and mustish

But Shears and Robustish
Must firstish come through

You folks belong here?

Yeah.

You mean you all live here
on this property together?

- Yeah.
- This is my property, Your Honor.

McLonergan.

Now, Mr. Lonergan,
I understand you got stuck...

...with this here arid, gopher-infested
property a couple of days ago.

How would you like to unload it for,
say, a profit of 30 percent?

- It's the McLonergan theory giving birth.
- What do you say?

I couldn't consider any propositions
for six months.

You see, I'm conducting
certain experiments.

Now, let me ask you, sir,
just what kind of experiments?

Well, you see, Father is a mineralogist
from the old country.

He can make gold sprout
out of the ground.

Gold? There ain't no gold in Ireland.

I myself discovered a vein our
countrymen have been searching for...

...since the reign
of Alfred the Thoughtless.

Who?

You never heard
of Alfred the Thoughtless?

Well, he was King of Erin, following
his father, Thomas the Temporary...

...who in turn was the only son
of the virgin queen, Serena the Spotless.

Are you willing to sell this land
or ain't you?

I'm willing and I'm wanting,
but I'm waiting.

I'm sorry you said that.
It'll put me to the trouble...

...of issuing a writ of seizure
on all this land.

- Here's the writ, senator.
- Now, don't be crude, Buzz.

I hate to do this to you...

...but you've been violating the law.
- Since when?

This afternoon.
I just finished drafting this.

"Local ordinance number 7428.

Be it known that in the county
of Rainbow Valley...

...it is a felony for members of the
Caucasian and Negro races..."

It would seem to me that this law
could not be a legal law.

Of course it's legal! I don't know where
you immigrants get these foreign ideas.

From a book
the immigration officer gave us.

- Called the United States Constitution.
- Haven't you read it?

I don't have time to read it,
I'm too busy defending it!

I rest me case.

I wish you folks would understand
our traditions. I wish...

Now, don't get in the habit of
making wishes on me property!

It's not your property.
I'll thank you to get off it.

And take your black friends with you.

- I don't wanna go!
- Shush, Henry.

You're saying you're taking this land
from these people because they're black?

- Don't let them chase us!
- Shut this kid up.

He's making me look like a bully.
Sheriff, get them out of here!

You heard the senator. You folks
better start packing your things.

Is Henry the wrong color?

No, of course not.
He's the right color.

But there's something wrong
with the world.

- I wish...
- Sharon! Sharon!

There's something wrong with the world
you've made for people like Henry!

I wish you could know
what that world is like.

I wish to God you were black!

I'm a son of a biscuit.

Oh, my God! What happened?

- Stonewall!
- Somebody get a doctor!

Father, what have I done?

You shouldn't go around me property
making wishes.

Hey, sorry, buddy,
but it's that great come-and-get-it day!

- What's going on?
- The senator tried to take our land away.

Then I lost me temper with him,
and I shouted at him...

...and he turned black!

Don't worry. That happens every time
he meets somebody he disagrees with.

He sees red, turns purple with rage
and yells himself black in the face.

But we don't need to
worry about him anymore.

We don't have to worry about
anything anymore. We got good news!

- A telegram for Finian.
- For me?

- Let me see it!
- Oh, no.

This is a singing telegram.

"Dear sir, after investigating your
standing in the community...

...and finding you to be a citizen
of high character...

...we have taken the liberty of opening
an unlimited charge account...

...for you and your associates."

Signed, "Shears Robust Company."

It says, "P.S. We hear gold...

...has been discovered
on your property. Congratulations!"

Gold?

- Must be a mistake here!
- Mistake?

Hey, wait a minute.
Hey, what about this here?

Hey, come on, hurry up!

Hey, wait a minute! Wait a minute!
Didn't you hear the telegram?

We got credit! Wait!

Credit! Hold it,
you're gonna dig up this whole valley.

I've waited all my life
for a break like this.

Yeah, but...

Don't you see,
don't you know what credit means?

Credit means we can buy
ourselves a tractor.

We can get ourselves a new
planting machine, some tools...

...we can get laboratory equipment
for Howard.

We can get our
mentholated tobacco burning.

We're gonna make more money than
you could get from digging up gold!

- He's right, you know.
- All right, Woody, when?

We want it now, Woody!
We want it right now.

Yeah. When?

When, Woody? When?

- When?
- Yeah, Woody. When?

On that great
Come-and-get-it-day

Great day

Won 't it be fun
When worry is done

- And money is hay
- Money is hay

That's the time

Things will come your way

- Comin ' our way
- On that great, great come-and-get-it day

Come-and-get-it day

I'll get my gal

That calico gal

I'll get my mule

That acre of ground

'Cause the word has come

From Gabriel's horn

The earth beneath your plow
Is buddin ' and now it's yourn

Glory, glory!

Glory time's
Comin ' for to stay

- On that great, great come-and-get-it day
- Come and get it, come and get it

Come and get it
Come and get it

Says here

Says it in the Good Book, it says

A mighty mornin ' is nigh

- Universal Fourth of July
- Hallelujah

Gonna get your freedom

And pie

What a day for banjos ringin '
What a day for people in overalls

Can 't you hear all the angels singin '

Come and get your gravy
And your two meatballs

Says here

Bells will ring in every steeple

Come and get your test
On the movie screen

Come you free and
You equal people

Come and get your beer
And your Benzedrines

Says here

Come and get it
Come and get it

- Come
- There's gonna be a world shakin '

- Bread breakin ' day
- Breakin '

Can I have a waffle iron?

It's comin ' to ya

Breakin '

Does that mean I get
a new washing machine?

With your initials

Breakin '

Hey, Woody, can we have a jukebox?

Says here.

Hey, Woody, how about a helicopter?

A helicopter?

Hallelujah!

- On that great come-and-get-it day
- Come-and-get-it day

Won 't it be fun when worry is done
And money is hay

That's the time
Thing's will come your way

- On that great, great come-and-get-it day
- Come-and-get-it day

My gown will be
A calico gown

My feet will dance
All over the town

'Cause word has come
From Gabriel's horn

The earth beneath your plow is a buddin '
And now it's yourn

Glory times
Comin ' for to stay

- On that great, great come-and-get-it
- Come and get it

- Yeah!
- Keep it!

- Come and get it
- Yeah! Share it!

Come-and-get-it day

When the idle poor
Become the idle rich

You'll never know just who is who
Or who is which

Won 't it be rich

When everyone's poor relative
Becomes a Rockefellertive

And palms no longer itch?

What a switch!

When we all have ermine
And plastic teeth

How will we determine
Who 's who underneath?

And when all your neighbors
Are upper class

You won 't know your Joneses
From your... Astors

Let's toast the day
The day we drink that drinkie up

But with the little pinkie up

The day on which

The idle poor
Become the idle rich

When a rich man
Doesn 't want to work

He's a bon vivant
Yes, he's a bon vivant

But when a poor man
Doesn 't want to work

He's a loafer, he's a lounger
He's a lazy good-for-nothing

He's a jerk

When a rich man
Loses on a horse

Isn 't he the sport, ho-ho!
Isn 't he the sport?

But when a poor man
Loses on a horse

He's a gambler, he's a spender
He's a low-life, he's a reason for divorce

When a rich man chases after dames
He's a man about town

Oh, yes, a man about town

But when a poor man
Chases after dames

He's a bounder, he's rounder
He's a rotter and a lot of dirty names

When the idle poor
Become the idle rich

You'll never know just who is who
Or who is which

No one will see

The Irish or the Slav in you
For when you're on Park Avenue

Cornelius and Mike

Look alike

When poor Tweedledum
Is rich Tweedledee

This discrimination
Will no longer be

When we're in the dough
And off of the nut

You won 't know your banker
From your... butler

Come on, Finian!

- Yay, Finian!
- Yeah, Finian!

Go, Finian!

Let's make the switch

With just a few annuities
We'll hide those incongruities

In cloaks from Abercrombie Fitch

- When the idle poor
- When the idle poor

- Become the idle rich
- Become the idle rich

When the idle poor

Become the idle...

... rich

What a mess!

Well, I'm busy.

You gotta clean this place up, man.
It's a firetrap.

I wish...

Do you see that?

You think this...?

- Are you sure?
- I think...

Are you sure?!

- No.
- Let's try it, come on.

I gotta admit something to you, Howard.

I never really thought
this day would come, you know.

Come on.

It burns!

It burns!

You did it, Howard.
You did it! You did it!

It burns! It burns!

- It's gone out. Here.
- No, no, no. Still burning.

It burns, Howard...

...but it doesn't smoke.

You're kidding me.

Woody, quick!
The sheriff is down by the brook!

Come on, you got lead in your pants?

Doesn't smoke?

What's going on here?

This is the DA, Woody.

You better talk respectful.

How does this concern you?

- This is my fianc�e.
- Well, how nice.

I'll ask you. What do you know about
the whereabouts of Senator Rawkins?

Nothing, and neither does she.

There's 50 witnesses
saw her do her mumbo jumbo.

And the split second she did,
Rawkins turned black, disappeared.

- That's crazy talk!
- Folks around here are getting nervous.

Could be dangerous.

You're supposed to keep law and order
around here, not this white suit.

That's why we're conducting
this preliminary investigation...

...on charge of witchcraft.

Witchcraft?

- You gotta be kidding.
- Concludes Tuesday.

By which day, Rawkins
had better be produced in the flesh.

I'm sorry, but we're gonna
be busy on Tuesday.

- We're getting married.
- Don't count on that...

...or anything else if Rawkins isn't back.

Bye!

Oh, Woody, you're grandish.

You've made me deliriously happy.

Happy?

Trouble makes you happy? Come on.

No, you make me happy.

- You don't know why, do you?
- No, why?

Because you said it.
And you said it all by yourself.

You volunteered it without me,
without magic, without me father...

...twisting and tricking you into it.
- What'd I say?

That I'm your fianc�e,
which is to say...

...I'm your love.

It is grandish!

And we're gonna get married
on Tuesday. It's grandish.

Didn't know what I was saying.

Something came over me,
like a spell come over me.

Hey, wait a minute, now.

It ain't true, is it?

Ain't what true?

About you being a witch.

Of course it's true.

Me and my glance

Make this romance
Too hot to handle

Stars in the night
Blazing their light

Can 't hold a candle
To my razzle-dazzle

- Oh, you got me flyin ' high and wide
- Yeah

On a magic carpet ride

Full of butterflies inside

I wanna cry, wanna croon

I wanna laugh like a loon

It's that old devil moon
In your eyes

Kiss me.

How are things in Glocca Morra?

Is that little stream
Still a-ripplin ' there?

Does the lassie
With the twinklin ' eye

Go whistlin ' by

And does she walk away
Sad and dreamy there

Not to see me there?

So I ask
Each weepin ' willow

And each brook...

Give me that, boy!

You don't have to grab, mister.
There's plenty of apples around.

- Well, I don't see any.
- Because you're mortal!

You're mortal! Mortals can never see
all the apples there are to be had.

An apple here. An apple there.

Little red apples everywhere.

You must be very hungry.
Would you like a sandwich?

Yeah.

Nice Virginia ham.

This is cheese! I ordered ham!

Forced to eat cheese.

- Forced to hide out like a hunted possum.
- Who are you hiding from?

My associates, my people, my dog...

...my whole way of life.

- I can't show myself like this.
- What's wrong with you?

Are you blind, boy?

Can't you see I'm black?

I think it's very becoming.

Well, it isn't!

I'm a white man, damn it!
I'm a white man!

At least I was until
a couple of days ago.

Well, that's a coincidence.

I was green a couple of weeks ago!

Don't you find the change
of color interesting?

No, I don't!

And they won't get away with it.
They won't get away with it!

Don't have to get so excited.

I think it's just ridiculous making
such a fuss about a person's color.

Well, you don't realize what it's like
being black here.

But you're human!

A rose is a rose is a rose

Despite the color of your nose

You don't understand, boy.

- You're nothing when you're black!
- Nothing? Who says so?

- The law says.
- Well, it's a silly law.

But is it a legal law?

Of course it's legal. I wrote it myself!

- Change it back.
- How am I gonna do that?

- You said you had it changed days ago.
- I said no such thing.

- Some witch wished it on me.
- A witch! A witch!

- I can help you. What sort of a witch?
- I didn't look her up in Who 's Who!

She's bound to be in Which Is Witch.
It lists their curses and cures...

Boy, go away, will you!

I see your trouble now, mister.

You're too unfriendly.

I'm in no condition for friendship!

That witch's fault!

She gave you a new outside...

...and she should've given you
a new inside.

- That's very incompetent.
- Will you go away!

This will give witchcraft a bad name.

It'll set the entire profession
back 100 years.

I'll have to do something about it.

Me reputation's at stake.

I'll have to alter your personality.
Stand up, please.

- Why don't you leave me alone.
- This won't be too hard.

All we have to do is to broaden out
that narrow mind a little...

...reduce some of that bigotry...

...and your pomposity
won't show through at all.

Wait till they see you
in your new spring psyche.

People will say you're in love.

Now...

Fiddle, foddle

Foil and fiddle

Cure this fuddled individual

Whirl, ye waters, and unwind

This tangled, medieval mind

Breath of bee and bluebird's wing

Make this scowling spirit sing

Balm of briar, sandalwood

Season him with brotherhood

Magic vapors, make this person

A better person

Not a worse one

He sleeps!

The cure is beginning to work!

How are things in Glocca Morra?

Oh, dem golden slippers!
Oh, dem golden slippers!

Golden slippers I laid away
Can 't touch 'em till my wedding day

Oh, dem golden slippers!
Oh, dem golden slippers!

Golden slippers I laid away
Until my wedding day, oh!

Oh, dem golden slippers!
Oh...

Brother!

Brother, you're the voice
in the wilderness.

Allow me the honor
of shaking your hand.

Well, thank you, friend. It's nice
to be able to talk to somebody again.

Just whom, may I ask, do we have the
unexpected pleasure of meeting up with?

Just call me Bill.
You folks from around here?

- We're from around everywhere.
- Yeah. We travel and we sing.

Haven't you ever heard of
the Passion Pilgrim Gospeleers?

I've been out of touch
with the gospel recently.

We're the prize-winningest,
Gospel-singingest quartet...

...east of the Rockies!

Quartet? Why, there's only three of you.

Well, you see, brother, we suffered
a casualty last night.

Yes, there was our number-four man,
Russ, suddenly taken with temptation.

And in desperation, he cries out:

- "Get thee behind me, Satan!"
- And Satan got...

- Satan pushed...
- He pushed him...

Right into the arms of a bouncing
Babylonian Jezebel...

...from Biloxi, Mississippi.
- Oh, the soul was strong...

...but the flesh was weak.

And that's why divine providence
led us to you.

You may be Bill...

...but that voice inside you is Russ.

I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
I had a lot of shuffling around lately.

Well, your shuffling days are over.

With your voice, we can go right on
being a prize-winning quartet.

- I can make a living singing with you?
- There's a handful of ways.

Either tote that barge.

- Lift that bale.
- Shine that shoe.

- Or sing.
- We sing.

But before we do, somebody's either
gotta get buried or get married.

Over in Rainbow Valley, there's a couple
just aching to be spliced.

And a $20 bill just aching to be split.

Will you join us?

Brothers, you are now a quartet!

Well, good!

Now, in preparation for this ceremony...

...we take our text from Genesis,
wherein it says:

Adam and Eve begat Cain and Abel.

From thence on, the history of the world
is just the history of who begat who.

- Well, what do I sing in that?
- You carry the big theme of this song.

You stress the word "begat"
and keep stressing it.

Can you remember that?

I got it!

- I got it
- I got it

I got it

We got it

The Lord made Adam
The Lord made Eve

He made them both
A little bit naive

They lived as free as a summer breeze
Without pajamas and without chemise

Until they stumbled on the apple trees

Then she looked at him

And he looked at her

And they knew immediately
What the world was fer

He said, "Give me my cane"

He said, "Give me my hat"

The time has come
To begin the begat

The begat
The begat

So they begat Cain
And they begat Abel

Who begat the rabble
At the tower of Babel

- They begat the Cohens
- They begat O 'Rourkes

And they begat the people
Who believed in storks

Lordy, Lordy
How they did begat

- How they be-be-begat
- Even more than that

When the begat
Got to gettin ' under par

They begat the daughters
Of the D.A. R

They begat the Babbitts
Of the bourgeoisie

Who begat the misbegotten VIPs

They begat
They begat

It was pleasin ' to Jezebel
Pleasin ' to Ruth

It pleased
the League of Women Shoppers In Duluth

Though the movie censors
Tried the facts to hide

The moviegoers up and multiplied

Lordy, Lordy
How they multiplied!

- How they multiplied
- How they multiplied

- Soon it swept the world
- Every land and lingo

- It became the rage
- It was bigger than bingo

The white begat, the red begat

The folks
Who shoulda stood in bed begat

The Greeks begat
The Swedes begat

Why, even Britishers in tweed begat

And Lordy, Lordy
What the seeds begat!

- The Lats and Lithuanians
- Begat

- Scranton, Pennsylvanians
- Begat

- Strict vegetarians
- Begat

- Honorary Aryans
- Begat

- Startin ' from Genesis
- We begat

- Heroes and menaces
- Begat

- Fat filibusterers
- Begat

- Income tax adjusterers
- Begat

- 'Twas naturaler and naturaler
- To begat

- And sometimes the bachelor
- He begat

It didn 't matter which-a-ways
They begat

Sons of habitu�s
Begat

- So begats them all
- So bless them all!

- Who go to bat
- Who go to bat

And heed the call

Of the begat

Look, look
Look to the rainbow

Follow it over
The hill and stream

Look, look
Look to the rainbow

Follow the fellow
Who follows a dream

Follow the fellow
Follow the fellow

Follow the fellow
Who follows a dream

'Twas a sumptuous gift
To bequeath to a child

For the lure of that song
Keeps my head runnin ' wild

So I searched all the earth
And I scanned all the skies

And I found it at last
In my own true love's eyes

Look, look
Look to the rainbow

Follow it over
The hill and stream

Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here today...

Stand back, everybody!

- Don't want any trouble.
- Just what do you want?

Miss Sharon McLonergan.

Mrs. Sharon Mahoney in a few minutes,
if you don't mind.

Dearly beloved...

...we are gathered here today
to join this man and this woman...

No, no, no, no, no, no!

- I got a warrant for your arrest.
- On what charge?

The People v. Miss Sharon McLonergan.

- The charge is demoting!
- "Demoting"?

Demoting a member of the white race,
Senator Rawkins...

...down to a member of the Negro race.
- By means of witchcraft.

There's a law against witchcraft
in this state.

Yes, I know. It was passed in 1690!

I think it's about time
we repealed that law. Right now!

Yeah!

Hold it! Hold it, I said!

Arrest that witch.

All right, Bill.

- Do your duty.
- Sure thing.

All right, come and get me, then!

Arrest her, Sam! Arrest her!

- Arrest her, Sam.
- Well, I'm only a second deputy.

- You're the first.
- Sheriff, quit stalling. Arrest her!

Turn them into pumpkins, Sharon.

- Yeah!
- Yeah!

Don't you try any hocus-pocus.

You can't goofer us now.

That there's lizard dust.

Lizard dust?

Witchcraft?

- You don't really believe I'm a witch?
- Arrest her!

Wait a minute, now.

Gentlemen, gentlemen,
don't let her bedevil you.

A witch she is, and a witch
she's always been.

Finian...

- He doesn't know what he's saying.
- Oh, yes, I do.

By the age of 10, she'd already
developed her uncanny powers...

...and was changing me good whiskey
into milk.

It was a crisis!

From then on,
one change led to another...

...and now you're witnesses
to this unhappy climax.

- She's changed a white man into a black.
- Let me talk to you.

Leave me alone.
I'm doing the right thing.

All right, let's go.

Wait a minute!

You know, being a witch, she can also
change a black man into a white.

She can make Rawkins white again?

- Or any color that Your Honor pleases.
- All right!

Turn him into a white man now.

- Just a minute! I got something to say.
- By God!

- Senator Rawkins.
- Calm yourself, senator.

You're in no position to have opinions
right now.

Who's in a better position? Boy, can
I see both sides of this question!

How much time will she need?

Well, for a bit of a thing like that,
I would say until the crack of dawn.

I will not be used as evidence...

...in any witchcraft trial!
- Yeah!

Take him, boys! He's Exhibit A!

Her too!

Now, now, now...

...for your own safety's sake...

...if I were you, I wouldn't be trying
to move her or him.

All right.

The crack of dawn...

...or it'll be the crack of doom,
you hear?

Sheriff, move them all out
but these two.

Clear everybody out!

Come on! Move!

Sit down!

Wait a minute!

Wait a minute! Wait a...

- Sit down.
- Get out of here, boy!

Get that boy out of here!

The crock's in the ground,
and all's well with the world.

It's gone!

It's gone. It's not here.

Leprechaun! Og!

Nemesis! Og!

Og!

Sharon!

Sharon McLonergan!

Sharon?

Sharon.

Look at me, Sharon.

I'm 90 percent mortal now.

And 100 percent miserable.

It's a frenzy, a frenzy.

And the only cure for it is you.

Sharon?

I feel better already
just being near you.

The scent of your hair...

...the touch of your hand.

Oh, the miracle of it, the miracle of it,
the sweet, sweet miracle of it.

She loves me.

Her hand fits me cheek.

Oh, Sharon, you're the only one,
the only one!

You're not Sharon at all.

You're Susan the Silent.

Yet I still feel the same frenzy for you.

Is this what it's like to be mortal?

Is every girl the only girl?

I'm beginning to like it.

Oh, my heart is beating wildly

And it's all because you're here

When I'm not near
The girl I love

I love the girl I'm near

Every femme that flutters by me

Is a flame that must be fanned

When I can 't fondle
The hand I'm fond of

I fondle the hand at hand

My heart's in a pickle

It's constantly fickle

And not too "partickle," I fear

When I'm not near
The girl I love

I love the girl I'm near

Sharon!

I mean, Susan.

Susan!

What if they're tall and tender?

What if they're small and slender?

Long as they've got that gender
I surrender

Always I can 't refuse 'em

Always my feet pursues 'em

Long as they got a bosom
I woos 'em

I love the girl I'm near

When I'm not near

The girl I love

I love the girl I'm near

I'm confessin ' a confession

And I hope I'm not verbose

When I'm not close to
The kiss that I cling to

I cling to the kiss that's close

As I'm more and more a mortal

I am more and more a case

When I'm not facing
The face that I fancy

I fancy the face I face

For Sharon I'm carin '

But Susan I'm choosin '

I'm faithful to whos 'n is here

When I'm not near

The girl I love

I love the girl...

... I'm near

So there you are!

The wrath of Ozymandias on you!

From dusk to sunup,
I've searched forest and hill...

...and I find you philandering
with a woman in your arms.

What's wrong with that?

What's wrong!
At a moment like this?

- Have you forgotten me daughter?
- I have not!

She's the woman I love...

...present company excepted.

The shamrock of her eyes, and her voice
like the bells of St. Mary's...

- Has anything happened?
- Indeed, it has.

This is her last sunrise.

Twenty minutes from now, at dawn...

... the glory that was Sharon...

...and the boy that was her beloved
will perish in smoke and flame.

I told you the gold brings
doom and gloom.

Gloom and doom!

Don't blame the gold!
You're the culprit!

- I?
- Aye. If you weren't a leprechaun...

...you'd have had no gold.

If you had none,
I wouldn't have borrowed it.

I wouldn't have come, and me daughter
wouldn't be burned for witchcraft!

It's my fault.

It's all my fault.

Oh, the merciful saints forgive me.

Her broken father will forgive you too,
if you'd just spare a little magic for her.

Oh, anything, Mr. McLonergan.
I'd do anything!

Turn the senator white again
and save Sharon 's life!

Og, we've only 20 minutes!

Well, Sambo.

You don't look like
you lightened up a smidgen.

I could do it in a minute
and have 19 left.

Thank heavens.
I knew you wouldn't fail me.

Why not wait 19 minutes...

...and leave it all to the last minute.
It's more dramatic.

Now, Og, now!

- It's a matter of life and death!
- Very well, Mr. McLonergan.

- I just need one thing from you.
- What is it?

- Speak up, man. What do you need?
- A crock of gold.

Give me strength to resist me
own strength to keep from choking him!

You stand there and pretend
you haven't got it?

- But I haven't got it!
- Then why can't I find it?

I dug more holes this weary night
than all the gophers in Christendom!

Think back to when you buried it.
What were you doing?

I don't know! How would I know? I...

I had a jug of whiskey in one hand
and the crock of gold in the other...

You might've buried the jug
and swallowed the crock.

You Machiavellian, half-pint pirate,
stealing me property! I want it back.

- Please, Mr. McLonergan, I wish I had it.
- Where is it?

- I haven't got it.
- I'll throttle it out of you! I want it back!

Where is it? Where is it?

You perfidious little wretch...

- I'll throttle it out of you.
- I don't know where it is!

Where is it?

I wish I...

- Where is it?
- I wish I...

It's almost dawn.

They can 't do it to her.

It'll be one of me or 100 of them!

Og...

...if you have a mite of merciful magic
left, help me save me daughter's life.

Will you, now?

Oh, Susan, it's a crisis.

A crisis.

They're gonna burn Sharon
for a witch.

She's not a witch.

She must've been standing by the crock
when she made the wish.

Susan...

...you must've been there.

Where was Sharon standing?

Where was she...?

Oh, it's no good asking you.
You can't hear me.

I'll have to ask somebody else.

There's no time.

Susan, come here.

Sit down. Look...

...I'll dance you the questions,
and you dance me the answers, you see?

Questions, answers, right?

I'll put it another way.

Susan, Susan, Susan...

You're a darling girl...

...and I love you very much...

...but I just wish to God you could talk.

I love you.

I love you.

Beautiful new words.

Will you say them again?

I love you.

She loves me.

She loves me!

You're talking, Susan!
Where was Sharon standing?

- I love you!
- Oh, I know that.

But you're talking.

That means I must've wished you into it.

Which means I must've been standing
over the crock.

The crock, the crock...

It looks like you are
permanently a black man.

Oh, my heavens.

What have I done?

The crock.

There's only one wish left.

The last one.

If I use it to wish the senator white...

...I'd never be a leprechaun again.

- We gotta sound the alarm.
- Yes.

Mr. Rodgers, sound the alarm.

Fire.

Fire.

Fire.

But I don't wanna be mortal.

I wanna go back to fairyland.

Fairyland was never like this.

Where is she?

Rawkins, you blackguard,
I wish you white!

- She turned him white.
- He's done it!

Thank you, Og.

Release those prisoners!

Come on! Keep that water
coming in here!

- Keep the water coming!
- Keep the water coming.

- Keep the water coming!
- Keep the water coming!

- Keep the water coming!
- Susan is talking!

- Susan's talking!
- Susan's talking!

- Susan's talking.
- Susan's talking.

- Susan's talking.
- Susan's talking.

Susan...

Susan's talking?

Woody!

- Susan's talking!
- What?

- Susan's talking!
- Is it true?

Well, say something, will you?
I've been waiting 20 years!

Isn't it grandish, Woody?

You used the crock to wish back
Susan's tongue.

- Aye.
- And you used up the last wish.

And now the crock has turned
to worthless dross.

Aye. Right, Mr. McLonergan.
Dross, worthless dross.

Hey, Woody! Over here!
The lab's going!

Four years of sweat and work,
and it's all going up in smoke.

It's all right, Howard. We'll put it out.

No! No! It's smoking!

Homegrown mentholated smoke!

I searched all the earth
And I scanned all the skies

And I found it at last
In my own true love's eyes

Look, look
Look to the rainbow

Follow it over the hill and stream

Look, look
Look to the rainbow

Follow the fellow
Who follows a dream

Follow the fellow

Follow the fellow

Follow the fellow
Who follows a dream

I now pronounce you...

...man and wife.

Father...

...are you leaving us?

Aye.

I've had Fort Knox.

I see.

Things are indeed hopeless.

Hopeless...

...but they're not serious.

But where are you going?

To find me a rainbow...

...Finian's Rainbow.

It never fails to come up
when a McLonergan is down.

Sure, there may not be a pot of gold
at the end of it...

...but there's a beautiful
new world under it.

Make it shine on Sharon.

Goodbye, me darling.

Goodbye, me friends.
I'll see you all in Glocca Morra.

Sharon, where is Glocca Morra?

Well, you see,
it's always somewhere...

...over there.

So to every weepin ' willow

To each brook along the way

To each lad who comes a-whistlin '
"Too-ra-lay"

May we meet in Glocca Morra

Some fine day

How are things in Glocca Morra?

Is that little brook
Still leaping there?

Does it still run down to Donny Cove

Through Killybegs,
Kilkerry and Kildaire?

How are things in Glocca Morra?

Is that willow tree
Still weeping there?

Does that laddie
With the twinkling eye

Come whistling by

And does he walk away
Sad and dreamy there

Not to see me there?

So I'll ask each weeping willow

And each brook along the way

And each lad
That comes a-whistlin '

"Too-ra-lay"

"How are things in Glocca Morra...

... this fine day?"