Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:06,000
Drunk History - Season 01 - Episode 02 - Chicago
2
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:11,000
Synced & corrected by
GhostedNet
3
00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:14,400
- Al Capone, he's got a 95 IQ.
He's not that smart.
4
00:00:14,410 --> 00:00:16,800
He's this big, weird
fucking mook.
5
00:00:16,810 --> 00:00:19,010
We're gonna call you
"Scarface."
6
00:00:19,286 --> 00:00:21,510
No, I want to be called
"Snorky."
7
00:00:21,850 --> 00:00:23,820
- Lincoln's, like, a nerd.
8
00:00:23,850 --> 00:00:25,680
He's an ape!
9
00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:30,780
Awk... awkt..."awksward"!
10
00:00:30,820 --> 00:00:34,420
- Kaboom.
The Haymarket Riot.
11
00:00:34,460 --> 00:00:38,420
[Groaning]
12
00:00:38,470 --> 00:00:39,660
Are we going?
- Yep.
13
00:00:39,700 --> 00:00:42,670
[Patriotic music]
14
00:00:42,700 --> 00:00:48,640
?
? Ripped By mstoll
15
00:00:55,860 --> 00:00:58,020
- We walk outside
and we look out on our city
16
00:00:58,050 --> 00:01:00,610
and we see the architecture,
we see everything that happens,
17
00:01:00,650 --> 00:01:01,850
and it's just, like,
a beautiful town.
18
00:01:01,890 --> 00:01:04,450
This is Chicago.
- Yeah.
19
00:01:04,490 --> 00:01:06,290
- It's the city
of broad shoulders.
20
00:01:06,330 --> 00:01:08,730
It's the sports, the food,
the culture, the everything.
21
00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:10,890
There is no fucking city
on Earth
22
00:01:10,930 --> 00:01:12,560
that compares to Chicago.
23
00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:15,530
This is meat-packing country.
The Bulls, The Bears,
24
00:01:15,570 --> 00:01:17,500
and the gangsters, dude!
25
00:01:17,540 --> 00:01:20,170
Do you see the look in my eye?
It's this fucking attitude
26
00:01:20,210 --> 00:01:22,370
that I will spit in your face
and slap the shit out of you.
27
00:01:22,410 --> 00:01:24,400
Chicago!
Fuck you!
28
00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:27,170
- [Laughs]
29
00:01:27,210 --> 00:01:28,510
- Oh, yeah.
30
00:01:28,550 --> 00:01:30,070
- Why don't you
do a little refill?
31
00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:32,180
- When I moved to Chicago,
I started, like...
32
00:01:32,220 --> 00:01:34,520
Oh, I went to a place,
the old... The Green Mill,
33
00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:36,020
and you could sit
at Al Capone's booth,
34
00:01:36,060 --> 00:01:38,250
where you could see
both entrances.
35
00:01:38,290 --> 00:01:39,820
And the bartender...
My friend ran a place,
36
00:01:39,860 --> 00:01:41,760
he'd be like,
oh, look behind the bar,
37
00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:44,920
here's tunnels... there's tunnels
where Al Capone used to go.
38
00:01:44,970 --> 00:01:46,090
And it's not so much
that he just
39
00:01:46,130 --> 00:01:48,070
was ruthlessly
killed people,
40
00:01:48,100 --> 00:01:50,500
but he was dumb.
- [Laughs]
41
00:01:50,540 --> 00:01:53,510
- Hello, today we're gonna talk
about Alphonse Capone,
42
00:01:53,540 --> 00:01:56,670
a hot-doggy-lipped
gangster.
43
00:01:56,710 --> 00:01:59,200
[Both chuckling]
44
00:01:59,250 --> 00:02:01,210
Al Capone went to Chicago.
45
00:02:01,250 --> 00:02:03,510
We've got more guns
and more guys,
46
00:02:03,550 --> 00:02:05,950
more money, and faster cars.
47
00:02:05,990 --> 00:02:07,510
So it was just like,
oh, I guess
48
00:02:07,550 --> 00:02:09,520
we'll just take over
the city.
49
00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:11,080
It was, like,
really that simple.
50
00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:15,460
Prohibition delivered
this country to Al Capone,
51
00:02:15,500 --> 00:02:17,520
bound and gagged.
52
00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:19,530
Just the liquor
was so lucrative, you know,
53
00:02:19,570 --> 00:02:21,690
that the money just kept
piling up and... this...
54
00:02:21,740 --> 00:02:24,100
like, became, like, literally,
like, a billionaire.
55
00:02:24,140 --> 00:02:27,900
Guy with, like, 90 IQ.
Pretty weird.
56
00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:30,030
He was the most powerful man.
Everyone knew it.
57
00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:31,370
Press conferences
would say like,
58
00:02:31,410 --> 00:02:32,970
why aren't you
made mayor, Al?
59
00:02:33,010 --> 00:02:34,450
And he'd, like, laugh.
60
00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:35,740
I'd rather just be
in this position.
61
00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:37,880
Why would I be mayor,
you know?
62
00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:40,580
So many rules!
It's kind of bullshit.
63
00:02:40,620 --> 00:02:42,610
It was like, they were looking
for a way to take him down,
64
00:02:42,660 --> 00:02:46,890
and, uh, he never claimed
that he had any income.
65
00:02:46,930 --> 00:02:48,660
Herbert Hoover stepped in
and just said, like,
66
00:02:48,700 --> 00:02:53,060
okay, we're finding him guilty,
and here's the story.
67
00:02:53,100 --> 00:02:55,570
George Fucking Nerd
is in on it.
68
00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:58,770
His brother was busted
for tax evasion,
69
00:02:58,810 --> 00:03:01,900
and we could get Al Capone
on tax evasion.
70
00:03:01,940 --> 00:03:04,570
Eliot Ness was a "tredsury"...
treasury agent.
71
00:03:04,610 --> 00:03:07,340
He said, like, George,
you're gonna fucking testify.
72
00:03:07,380 --> 00:03:08,850
He didn't want to do it,
because he was like,
73
00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:10,440
yeah, fuck you.
74
00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:12,610
Al Capone is more powerful
than the government.
75
00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:14,250
This comes down
from upstairs.
76
00:03:14,290 --> 00:03:16,420
Okey-dokey.
77
00:03:16,460 --> 00:03:18,250
It was, like,
really that simple, you know?
78
00:03:18,290 --> 00:03:20,660
So, you know,
you got this, like,
79
00:03:20,690 --> 00:03:23,930
hot-doggy-lipped, 90 IQ
fucking weirdo who's just like,
80
00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:25,830
how about we go to them
and say,
81
00:03:25,870 --> 00:03:27,930
all right, let's say
I made this much money
82
00:03:27,970 --> 00:03:30,990
over this period of time,
and I'll pay this kind of taxes,
83
00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:33,670
and I'll plea bargain,
and had it negotiated
84
00:03:33,710 --> 00:03:35,680
where he was gonna
do two years in prison.
85
00:03:35,710 --> 00:03:38,610
And then the judge
said, like,
86
00:03:38,650 --> 00:03:40,550
We're not gonna
accept your plea,
87
00:03:40,580 --> 00:03:42,450
but we're gonna take part of
your plea that said you earned
88
00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:44,710
this much money
and bust you for taxes,
89
00:03:44,750 --> 00:03:47,120
and... and sentence you
to 11 years in prison.
90
00:03:47,150 --> 00:03:48,780
So it was like,
whoa, what the fuck?
91
00:03:48,820 --> 00:03:50,310
I thought we had a deal here?
92
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,020
They put him away.
93
00:03:52,060 --> 00:03:54,360
That's when they started
giving him like, you know,
94
00:03:54,390 --> 00:03:56,790
medical tests and psych tests
and stuff, and that's...
95
00:03:56,830 --> 00:03:58,890
you know, 'cause really,
they knew nothing about him.
96
00:03:58,930 --> 00:04:01,200
He's got a 95 IQ.
He's not that smart.
97
00:04:01,230 --> 00:04:03,360
He's this big, weird
fucking mook.
98
00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:05,800
Oh, you got a 90 IQ,
but you sure knew who to kill,
99
00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:07,970
and that's pretty smart.
[Laughs]
100
00:04:08,010 --> 00:04:09,570
Oh, and he started
peeing pus
101
00:04:09,610 --> 00:04:11,200
when he was
fucking 18 years old
102
00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:12,680
and he didn't fucking say
anything about it.
103
00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:14,410
[Cough]
Syphilis.
104
00:04:14,450 --> 00:04:15,570
[Cough]
Syphilis.
105
00:04:15,620 --> 00:04:17,240
[Both laughing]
106
00:04:17,280 --> 00:04:20,850
He just ignored pus com...
coming out of his cock.
107
00:04:20,890 --> 00:04:24,150
[Laughs]
I mean, right?
108
00:04:24,190 --> 00:04:26,750
Gah, pus is coming out
of my cock!
109
00:04:26,790 --> 00:04:28,890
What is it?
Nothing.
110
00:04:28,930 --> 00:04:30,230
What are you gonna do?
111
00:04:30,260 --> 00:04:31,730
I'm gonna stop thinking
about it.
112
00:04:31,770 --> 00:04:35,100
Good idea.
[Laughs]
113
00:04:35,140 --> 00:04:37,190
Hey, Al, how about
one penicillin shot?
114
00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:39,930
Nope.
Let's ignore it.
115
00:04:39,970 --> 00:04:41,170
And, you know,
he's afraid of needles,
116
00:04:41,210 --> 00:04:42,840
and syphilis
rots his brain.
117
00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:45,210
Soon after, he becomes
a fucking babbling idiot.
118
00:04:45,250 --> 00:04:49,270
Do you know he... his... he wanted
his nickname to be "Snorky"?
119
00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:51,680
[Laughs]
I want to be called "Snorky."
120
00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:54,690
We're gonna call you
"Scarface."
121
00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:58,120
No, I want to be called
"Snorky."
122
00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:00,180
But when he got out of jail,
123
00:05:00,230 --> 00:05:02,200
he really quickly
wandered away into, like,
124
00:05:02,230 --> 00:05:05,360
a idiot who would, like,
put a fishing pole
125
00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:08,130
into his, like,
pool in his backyard,
126
00:05:08,170 --> 00:05:10,470
like, hoping to catch fish.
[Laughs]
127
00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:12,230
I imagine they just
made comments like,
128
00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:15,040
hey, why is he fishing
in his own pool?
129
00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:17,870
Well,
he's a syphilitic moron.
130
00:05:17,910 --> 00:05:20,210
Syphilitic moron?
What's that?
131
00:05:20,250 --> 00:05:22,370
It's a guy who has had
a portion of his brain
132
00:05:22,420 --> 00:05:24,040
eaten away by his own
cock pus.
133
00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:26,550
He... he's fucked up.
134
00:05:26,590 --> 00:05:28,880
He's... he's a moron.
He's like a five-year-old.
135
00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:31,290
Wow, because he had sex
with whores and got, like,
136
00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:33,090
a dirty dick and he didn't
do anything about it?
137
00:05:33,130 --> 00:05:34,460
Pretty much.
138
00:05:34,490 --> 00:05:38,230
The most powerful man in,
you know, the country, like,
139
00:05:38,270 --> 00:05:40,130
looking for fake fish
in a pool
140
00:05:40,170 --> 00:05:43,400
with a... his bamboo rod.
141
00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:45,460
What... what an idiot.
142
00:05:45,510 --> 00:05:47,130
[Laughs]
He had everything, right?
143
00:05:47,170 --> 00:05:49,200
Fuck.
144
00:05:53,210 --> 00:05:55,270
- So, we're sitting
in the Al Capone booth now.
145
00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:56,610
Now...
- This is it.
146
00:05:56,650 --> 00:05:58,170
- This is where
he used to sit, yeah.
147
00:05:58,220 --> 00:06:00,080
It's been reupholstered, though.
- [Chuckles]
148
00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:02,420
- And that way,
he could see both doors,
149
00:06:02,460 --> 00:06:04,080
so he always
would sit here and...
150
00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,180
and he just threw them
at his mansion in Florida.
151
00:06:06,230 --> 00:06:08,790
You know, he was just,
like, a blabbering fool.
152
00:06:08,830 --> 00:06:10,460
- Really?
- You know what I mean?
153
00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,090
That's why you gotta
wear a raincoat, you know?
154
00:06:12,130 --> 00:06:13,620
- [Chuckles]
- 'Cause you get the syphilis.
155
00:06:13,670 --> 00:06:16,260
That's no good.
- What's the raincoat do?
156
00:06:16,300 --> 00:06:18,030
- [Laughs] Oh, come on.
- Oh, a condom.
157
00:06:18,070 --> 00:06:19,830
- Yeah.
- [Laughs]
158
00:06:19,870 --> 00:06:22,140
- What do you think?
- Capone didn't wear condoms.
159
00:06:22,180 --> 00:06:23,610
They should make
Al Capone condoms.
160
00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:24,770
- I don't know
if they made them yet.
161
00:06:24,810 --> 00:06:26,470
Did they have 'em back then?
162
00:06:26,510 --> 00:06:28,040
- I don't know, when did con...
When did condoms start?
163
00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:31,380
- Something to do with,
uh...
164
00:06:31,420 --> 00:06:33,180
[both laughing]
165
00:06:33,220 --> 00:06:37,050
A goat intestine, like back
in a... you know, years ago,
166
00:06:37,090 --> 00:06:39,120
they'd cut a goat intestine
and tie the end,
167
00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:40,390
and that's what they used.
168
00:06:40,430 --> 00:06:41,830
- Oh, shit.
169
00:06:43,860 --> 00:06:46,060
- Lincoln's, like, a nerd.
170
00:06:46,100 --> 00:06:48,030
And, I mean,
it's not even, like,
171
00:06:48,070 --> 00:06:50,500
a funny sitcom
or anything.
172
00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:52,900
Whoa,
what's that all about?
173
00:06:52,940 --> 00:06:56,930
What are you doing?
174
00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:06,980
[Indistinct crowd chatter]
175
00:07:07,020 --> 00:07:09,510
- And if you ever get
the Illinois state quarter,
176
00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:12,220
that's what's on it...
Lincoln.
177
00:07:12,260 --> 00:07:13,590
- What's the name
of the disease he had,
178
00:07:13,630 --> 00:07:15,820
where you're extra tall
and sad?
179
00:07:15,860 --> 00:07:18,190
- Elephantitis?
- Marfan's... Marfan's disease.
180
00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:19,820
- We're doing a story
about Abraham Lincoln.
181
00:07:19,870 --> 00:07:22,840
- Oh, he's a good guy.
- He's a... yeah.
182
00:07:22,870 --> 00:07:24,230
Here, let's have our...
183
00:07:24,270 --> 00:07:27,100
Let's grab our drinks,
have a seat.
184
00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:32,710
- Hello, I'm Rich Fulcher,
185
00:07:32,750 --> 00:07:38,240
and today I'm gonna introduce
Abraham Lincoln, the lawyer.
186
00:07:38,290 --> 00:07:41,880
You know, this device
called the reaper,
187
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:45,880
in the 19th century,
people were like...
188
00:07:45,930 --> 00:07:49,690
[guttural noises]
189
00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:54,890
And then McCormick invented
an automatic reaper.
190
00:07:54,940 --> 00:07:56,430
People were like,
191
00:07:56,470 --> 00:07:58,130
this is crazy.
192
00:07:58,170 --> 00:08:00,200
I can't believe this.
193
00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:03,570
John Manny said,
194
00:08:03,610 --> 00:08:07,380
I invented
the automatic reaper,
195
00:08:07,410 --> 00:08:09,310
and then that meant
there was
196
00:08:09,350 --> 00:08:13,480
a big luso... lu... lawsuit.
197
00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:18,960
I invented the reaper,
you motherfucker.
198
00:08:18,990 --> 00:08:24,560
I invented the reaper,
you motherfucker.
199
00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:28,560
And Manny got
some Philadelphia lawyers
200
00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:34,100
called Harding
and Stanton and Watson
201
00:08:34,140 --> 00:08:36,110
and some other people.
202
00:08:36,140 --> 00:08:37,770
These guys are like,
203
00:08:37,810 --> 00:08:43,650
we've got to, um,
do this with a local guy.
204
00:08:43,680 --> 00:08:47,640
But they didn't know anybody,
and so they hired this guy.
205
00:08:47,690 --> 00:08:51,280
Lincoln was this lawyer,
man.
206
00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:53,950
He was, like, a lawyer.
207
00:08:53,990 --> 00:08:56,360
Lincoln answered the door.
208
00:08:56,400 --> 00:09:02,270
Stanton went,
he's like some sort of nerd.
209
00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:04,170
Lincoln's, like, a nerd.
210
00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:06,140
And, I mean,
it's not even, like,
211
00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:08,660
a funny sitcom
or anything.
212
00:09:08,710 --> 00:09:12,340
And then this guy, Watson,
looks at him and says,
213
00:09:12,380 --> 00:09:17,110
oh, shit, he doesn't even
have, like, a Watson, or...
214
00:09:17,150 --> 00:09:20,020
He doesn't have a Wat...
a Watson?
215
00:09:20,050 --> 00:09:24,890
He doesn't have a... vest.
216
00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:30,730
Whoa, what's that all about?
What are you doing?
217
00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:35,330
Lincoln was, like,
viewed as persona non grata.
218
00:09:35,370 --> 00:09:40,170
The case changed
to Cincinnati.
219
00:09:40,210 --> 00:09:43,870
Stanton and Harding go,
220
00:09:43,910 --> 00:09:46,310
mm-hmm, we don't
need Lincoln anymore.
221
00:09:46,350 --> 00:09:49,800
But Lincoln didn't even know
about any of this shit.
222
00:09:49,850 --> 00:09:54,510
But he would just keep
researching and researching.
223
00:09:54,550 --> 00:09:56,550
Oh, yeah, bup-bup-bup-bup.
224
00:09:56,590 --> 00:09:59,580
I've been just going along
with my own fun.
225
00:09:59,630 --> 00:10:00,920
And he would write.
226
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:02,360
He would be like,
227
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:05,360
am I involved
in this case or what?
228
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:09,030
Finally, he found out
that the case had been moved
229
00:10:09,070 --> 00:10:12,800
to Cincinnati,
and he was like, fuck!
230
00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:16,240
I've gotta go to Cincinnati!
231
00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:18,900
So he went.
232
00:10:18,950 --> 00:10:23,780
Lincoln went up to the hotel
where all the lawyers were,
233
00:10:23,820 --> 00:10:27,220
and Stanton saw Lincoln
coming here... coming up.
234
00:10:27,250 --> 00:10:29,410
Stanton went to Harding,
235
00:10:29,460 --> 00:10:32,390
oh, my God,
this guy is a lanky,
236
00:10:32,430 --> 00:10:36,730
gawky, awkward, ape-legged,
237
00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:40,700
ape-l... armed man.
238
00:10:40,730 --> 00:10:45,070
This guy is weird.
This guy is like an ape.
239
00:10:45,110 --> 00:10:47,570
He's got ape arms.
240
00:10:47,610 --> 00:10:51,100
He's got, like,
ape, awkward arms.
241
00:10:51,140 --> 00:10:55,740
This guy is, like,
an ape, awkward guy.
242
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:59,580
This guy is an ape!
243
00:10:59,620 --> 00:11:04,280
Awk... awkt..."awksward"!
244
00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:06,920
He's like an ape-man.
245
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:10,730
This guy is like an ape,
awkward man.
246
00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:13,960
Lincoln stayed
for the whole case.
247
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,560
They'd just go on
248
00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:20,100
without even
acknowledging Lincoln.
249
00:11:20,140 --> 00:11:25,510
The legal arguments that
were made and the structure...
250
00:11:25,550 --> 00:11:29,110
Oh, my God.
This is the way to do it.
251
00:11:29,150 --> 00:11:31,950
Like, oh, shit.
252
00:11:31,990 --> 00:11:37,860
It was just, like,
a myriad of wonderment.
253
00:11:37,890 --> 00:11:42,520
I'm... um... um...
254
00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:48,360
hum, hum, humma,
hum, hum, humma.
255
00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:51,170
Humma... Lincoln!
- [Laughs]
256
00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:54,770
- Manny won.
257
00:11:54,810 --> 00:11:58,470
And everything was great.
258
00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:01,740
So Lincoln goes back
to Chicago.
259
00:12:01,780 --> 00:12:05,270
Like, I know
what I need to do now.
260
00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:10,380
I'm gonna study my ass off
and get things going.
261
00:12:10,420 --> 00:12:13,720
I'm gonna get
my shit in gear
262
00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:16,230
or I'm gonna be
Mr. Shithouse.
263
00:12:16,260 --> 00:12:18,360
And five years later,
264
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:24,340
he becomes...
the President.
265
00:12:24,370 --> 00:12:25,840
Here's the thing...
266
00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:29,540
because Stanton was part
of the firm that said,
267
00:12:29,580 --> 00:12:32,510
we're, like,
not into you,
268
00:12:32,550 --> 00:12:35,840
Lincoln said,
269
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:39,580
I'm gonna
get Edwin Stanton
270
00:12:39,620 --> 00:12:43,850
to become
Secretary of War.
271
00:12:46,730 --> 00:12:49,560
How cool is that?
272
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:54,360
When Lincoln dies,
he says,
273
00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:58,700
now he belongs to the ages.
274
00:12:58,740 --> 00:13:02,110
And Lincoln goes,
275
00:13:02,140 --> 00:13:06,810
fuck, that's great.
276
00:13:12,450 --> 00:13:14,920
- What's the biggest lesson
to learn in this story?
277
00:13:14,950 --> 00:13:20,590
- My...
balls are big.
278
00:13:22,560 --> 00:13:26,430
- Let's not do this,
and a lot of fancy words.
279
00:13:26,470 --> 00:13:31,430
Spies said,
our silence is powerful.
280
00:13:38,110 --> 00:13:41,080
[Patriotic music]
281
00:13:41,110 --> 00:13:44,710
? ?
282
00:13:44,750 --> 00:13:48,590
- No, I'm... I'm... I'm live.
I'm fucking live right now.
283
00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:50,380
- Okay, good.
I just wanted to know, like...
284
00:13:50,420 --> 00:13:53,320
- I'm fucking live... We fin...
We drank all the tequila?
285
00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:56,590
We drank all
the fucking tequila.
286
00:13:56,630 --> 00:13:59,660
- Mm, let's put the knife away.
- Yeah, put that knife away.
287
00:13:59,700 --> 00:14:02,330
I feel like I should
just fucking fight somebody...
288
00:14:02,370 --> 00:14:04,060
- [laughs]
- That wants to...
289
00:14:04,100 --> 00:14:05,330
- You don't need
to fight anybody.
290
00:14:05,370 --> 00:14:07,130
- That wants
to dispute things.
291
00:14:07,170 --> 00:14:11,110
- Hey! Kyle!
292
00:14:11,140 --> 00:14:13,310
Okay, now you did drink
that whole bottle.
293
00:14:13,350 --> 00:14:15,080
- Hello.
294
00:14:15,110 --> 00:14:18,480
Today we're gonna talk
about The Haymarket Riot.
295
00:14:20,950 --> 00:14:23,420
Chicago,
huge industrial city.
296
00:14:23,460 --> 00:14:25,860
It's, like, the 1880s.
297
00:14:25,890 --> 00:14:29,020
August Spies
moved from Germany.
298
00:14:29,060 --> 00:14:31,690
He's worked for a, uh,
German socialist newspaper.
299
00:14:31,730 --> 00:14:33,320
He's like, all right, let's...
We need... we need, uh,
300
00:14:33,370 --> 00:14:36,800
We need better working
conditions, this and that.
301
00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:38,460
They were having a big rally
in front of the McCormick plant.
302
00:14:38,500 --> 00:14:39,970
They mechanized
the whole plant,
303
00:14:40,010 --> 00:14:41,630
but the workers,
they're not having it.
304
00:14:41,670 --> 00:14:43,640
They're like, no, fuck this!
This is our skill!
305
00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:46,140
This is what...
This is the union.
306
00:14:46,180 --> 00:14:49,210
So, they're on strike.
August Spies is there.
307
00:14:49,250 --> 00:14:51,980
Aug... aug... uh, Spies.
308
00:14:52,020 --> 00:14:53,650
He... he goes there
and he gives a speech.
309
00:14:53,690 --> 00:14:55,710
He's like,
you'll stick with your union.
310
00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:59,490
Be solid.
You know, ju... just fucking...
311
00:14:59,530 --> 00:15:01,320
be... you know, be together.
312
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:05,060
Don't go...
crazy or nothing,
313
00:15:05,100 --> 00:15:06,690
but just be with your group.
314
00:15:06,730 --> 00:15:08,560
Be, you know...
be... be solid.
315
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:12,160
They had cops there, of course.
They got cops there.
316
00:15:12,210 --> 00:15:14,700
Well, shit goes wrong.
317
00:15:14,740 --> 00:15:16,210
Some of the striking workers,
318
00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:20,010
they rush the gates
at the McCormick plant.
319
00:15:20,050 --> 00:15:21,310
The cops, they shoot.
320
00:15:21,350 --> 00:15:23,820
They kill a couple
of the strikers.
321
00:15:23,850 --> 00:15:25,550
Spies sees this.
322
00:15:25,590 --> 00:15:28,180
He sees this and he's like,
Oh, this is bullshit.
323
00:15:28,220 --> 00:15:32,280
Let's not do this,
and a lot of fancy words.
324
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:40,230
Let's op... let's open the door
in case I barf.
325
00:15:43,140 --> 00:15:44,600
No, no, no.
326
00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:46,540
I just fell out of the chair
a little bit.
327
00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:48,700
- Would you like...
I love laying on my floor, too.
328
00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:50,230
Like, don't feel like you've
got to get back in the chair.
329
00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:51,610
- It's a good...
it's a good floor.
330
00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:53,910
- It's a great hardwood floor.
331
00:15:53,950 --> 00:15:57,070
- And, uh, he goes back.
332
00:15:57,120 --> 00:16:00,050
He writes... he writes a protest,
or whatever happened.
333
00:16:00,090 --> 00:16:01,750
The whole thing is, like,
get an eighth hour...
334
00:16:01,790 --> 00:16:04,420
eight... eight-hour
work day.
335
00:16:04,460 --> 00:16:07,360
Okay, just... just get an eighth...
an eight-hour work day,
336
00:16:07,390 --> 00:16:08,880
and it's just undermining it,
because that...
337
00:16:08,930 --> 00:16:10,190
this is what they're doing.
338
00:16:10,230 --> 00:16:11,590
They're trying
to fuck with us.
339
00:16:11,630 --> 00:16:13,390
They're trying
to force conflict.
340
00:16:13,430 --> 00:16:15,030
And it just fuck with
the eight-hour work day.
341
00:16:15,070 --> 00:16:17,200
Click-clack,
clickety-clack.
342
00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:18,860
So he writes
this whole thing.
343
00:16:18,910 --> 00:16:20,400
Give it a headline,
make sure it gets out there.
344
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:21,870
Well, the guy
who gives it a headline,
345
00:16:21,910 --> 00:16:23,240
it just says, "Revenge."
And he's like,
346
00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:26,710
no, we don't stand
for violence!
347
00:16:26,750 --> 00:16:27,800
But it goes out.
348
00:16:27,850 --> 00:16:29,940
Revenge!
And we want eight hours!
349
00:16:29,980 --> 00:16:33,110
Like, no, we're not gonna
take shit anymore.
350
00:16:35,090 --> 00:16:37,820
There's already a labor...
351
00:16:39,630 --> 00:16:40,920
Nobody knows
where it came from.
352
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:42,150
Nobody knew
who threw the bomb.
353
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:44,100
Kaboom.
354
00:16:49,970 --> 00:16:51,730
- [Groans]
355
00:16:51,770 --> 00:16:55,760
[Moaning]
356
00:16:55,810 --> 00:16:57,800
Ahh...
357
00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:04,080
We gonna fuck around,
or we gonna do
358
00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:05,980
a goddamn TV show?
359
00:17:07,820 --> 00:17:09,340
They're talking,
and they're...
360
00:17:09,390 --> 00:17:11,410
and they're speaking
their minds on it.
361
00:17:11,460 --> 00:17:13,650
Even Harrison,
the mayor of Chicago, shows up,
362
00:17:13,690 --> 00:17:16,790
like, I'm here.
I'm not upset about this.
363
00:17:16,830 --> 00:17:18,320
They're speaking their minds.
It's cool.
364
00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:20,160
What about... but...
they're anarchists.
365
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:21,960
I'm not sug... They're just doing
what they're doing,
366
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,800
and they're not saying
anything terrible.
367
00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:26,670
I'm the mayor.
I said this is cool.
368
00:17:26,710 --> 00:17:29,680
Let 'em... let 'em go.
I'm taking off.
369
00:17:29,710 --> 00:17:31,370
One of the guys is up there.
370
00:17:31,410 --> 00:17:34,380
Guys, guys, hey.
371
00:17:34,410 --> 00:17:38,040
We're getting... we're getting...
We're busting our asses here.
372
00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:39,640
And he invokes
the guys that died
373
00:17:39,690 --> 00:17:42,520
the day before
at the McCormick plant,
374
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:43,820
and people
are getting riled up.
375
00:17:43,860 --> 00:17:45,380
So the police
stepped in and said,
376
00:17:45,420 --> 00:17:47,690
all right, nope, nope.
We're gonna step in.
377
00:17:47,730 --> 00:17:49,190
We need you to disperse
378
00:17:49,230 --> 00:17:51,130
in the name of the Chicago
Police Department.
379
00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:53,360
We need you to get going.
380
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:57,060
Take a hike.
You're done.
381
00:17:57,100 --> 00:17:58,870
This bomb comes hurling in.
382
00:17:58,910 --> 00:18:00,340
Nobody knows
where it came from.
383
00:18:00,370 --> 00:18:01,810
Nobody knew
who threw the bomb.
384
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:05,740
Kaboom.
All in all, chaos.
385
00:18:05,780 --> 00:18:08,180
The Haymarket Riot.
386
00:18:09,620 --> 00:18:11,380
Shots... shots go off.
387
00:18:11,420 --> 00:18:13,580
Eight people die.
388
00:18:15,420 --> 00:18:19,260
[Groaning]
389
00:18:19,290 --> 00:18:21,230
Are we going?
- Yep.
390
00:18:21,260 --> 00:18:23,820
Ready when you are, Kyle.
- [Groans]
391
00:18:23,860 --> 00:18:26,490
What happens the next day,
it's martial law.
392
00:18:26,530 --> 00:18:30,230
That's what happens.
The next day, it's martial law.
393
00:18:30,270 --> 00:18:34,260
They arrest eight people,
including August Spies.
394
00:18:34,310 --> 00:18:35,670
No... no evidence.
395
00:18:35,710 --> 00:18:37,340
No evidence that
they built bombs.
396
00:18:37,380 --> 00:18:41,110
They arrest them all
under the guise of conspiracy.
397
00:18:41,150 --> 00:18:43,880
Bullshit!
398
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:45,910
Spies was like,
no, I stand with these guys.
399
00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:50,620
I-I proclaim my innocence,
but I'm standing with everybody.
400
00:18:50,660 --> 00:18:53,920
So, the next editor
of the Chlcago Trlbune said,
401
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:55,590
don't hang them.
These are the people
402
00:18:55,630 --> 00:18:57,930
that allow you to be
a millionaire business owner.
403
00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:00,760
Do you want to start a war
with these people?
404
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:04,200
'Cause once these people
decide to go, "fuck you,"
405
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:05,800
you're shit out of luck.
406
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:09,740
Except the guy they got in it,
Marshall fucking Field,
407
00:19:09,780 --> 00:19:12,240
the biggest industrialist
in Chicago at the time.
408
00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:15,480
We should agree
with the labor leaders.
409
00:19:15,510 --> 00:19:18,070
Nope, I don't want
to do it.
410
00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:20,590
I will not concede
to these people,
411
00:19:20,620 --> 00:19:24,060
these dirty, long-haired,
filthy fucking anarchist
412
00:19:24,090 --> 00:19:26,890
socialist, garbage,
pieces of people.
413
00:19:26,930 --> 00:19:30,160
Squash labor leaders.
Squash it all.
414
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,290
Hang the bastards!
415
00:19:32,330 --> 00:19:37,390
[Vomiting]
416
00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:39,460
Let's be honest.
Let's be honest.
417
00:19:39,510 --> 00:19:42,130
Let's be honest.
- Let's be honest.
418
00:19:42,170 --> 00:19:43,510
- [Groans]
419
00:19:43,540 --> 00:19:49,280
Spies said,
our silence is powerful!
420
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:53,510
More so than your
other stuff.
421
00:19:53,550 --> 00:19:57,780
The day will come...
422
00:19:57,820 --> 00:20:00,190
[laughs]
423
00:20:00,230 --> 00:20:02,250
I'm watching it fucking
swish around,
424
00:20:02,300 --> 00:20:04,700
and I'm mad about it.
I got this.
425
00:20:04,730 --> 00:20:06,250
- Dude...
- I got this!
426
00:20:06,300 --> 00:20:10,740
I lit a fragrance candle
for you fucking dicks.
427
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:15,970
[Groaning]
428
00:20:16,010 --> 00:20:17,480
- [Retches]
429
00:20:17,510 --> 00:20:19,030
No.
- [Groans]
430
00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:20,600
[Both vomiting]
431
00:20:20,650 --> 00:20:22,440
- Don't put all your weight
on the pan.
432
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:24,470
- And now...
433
00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:27,850
we only work
eight hours a day.
434
00:20:28,890 --> 00:20:32,950
[Sniffs]
435
00:20:32,990 --> 00:20:37,160
[Hacking]
436
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:38,560
- Eight hours a day.
- [Coughs]
437
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:41,570
[Patriotic music]
438
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:49,600
? ?
439
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:57,000
Synced & corrected by
GhostedNet
440
00:21:05,813 --> 00:21:07,040
- Wow.
441
00:21:07,253 --> 00:21:09,506
You know, this is where
you would get syphilis.
442
00:21:09,873 --> 00:21:12,140
- Oh, that room.
- That was the syphilis room.
443
00:21:12,140 --> 00:21:13,050
- That...
that one room, yeah.
444
00:21:13,100 --> 00:21:14,430
- That's where syphilis
was invented, right?
445
00:21:14,470 --> 00:21:21,960
- That's where the who...
Yeah, invented. Ripped By mstoll
446
00:21:22,010 --> 00:21:26,560
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
33256
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.