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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:08,000
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
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..but apparently that
is classed as prostitution.
3
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,279
Right, come on, get to work!
4
00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:30,319
We're being inspected by a mystery
shopper today, that might be him.
5
00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:31,479
STOP!
6
00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:34,359
We're the price plan police,
do you have mobile phone insurance?
7
00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:36,679
No. What are you going to do,
arrest me?
8
00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:38,759
We're not actually the police.
9
00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:40,719
But I am a real phone.
10
00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:42,919
Really? I like your shoes.
11
00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:45,359
Thank you. Understated, I think.
12
00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:48,079
Are you an Si-600 smartphone?
13
00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:49,759
Yes!
14
00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:52,199
What are your best features?
15
00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:55,959
Um... I know this.
Something about a price plan?
16
00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:58,199
I've have buttons. I ring.
17
00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:00,359
Going to have to check that.
What's your number?
18
00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:02,959
What? My actual number?
You don't work for the phone place?
19
00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:05,159
I work in that office building.
20
00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:08,599
I've been watching you all morning -
not in a creepy way.
21
00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:11,399
So, can I have your number?
MY number?
22
00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:12,639
HER number?
23
00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:16,520
Yeah!
24
00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:22,399
"Beg?"
25
00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:24,599
Eh, please ring me?
26
00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:27,239
Oh, no, Meg!
27
00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:28,319
Nick.
28
00:01:28,320 --> 00:01:30,359
Nick!
29
00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:33,199
Never dated a phone before,
but do phones eat dinner?
30
00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:35,039
Yes, we love dinner.
31
00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:38,399
Tonight? Tonight? Well,
I was supposed to be staying in
32
00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:42,400
and looking at photos of cats on
the internet but, OK then.
33
00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:45,079
See you later then.
Get back to work.
34
00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:48,799
I will! Bye.
35
00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:51,399
Pinch me!
36
00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:54,759
Ow, Bunny! I can't believe we're
dressed like stripograms
37
00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:56,559
and you're the one
who's getting the date.
38
00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:59,039
Maybe he's into phone sex.
39
00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:00,719
I've been dying to say that.
40
00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:02,959
Well, I mean,
he's obviously not shallow.
41
00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:04,319
I could be anything under here.
42
00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:06,519
I could have a
willy or three tits.
43
00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:08,879
Or no tits. Imagine that.
44
00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:10,359
Whose go is it in the phone?
45
00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:14,360
I thought it was dead itchy in
that suit this morning.
46
00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:17,479
Oh, shit, I hope I've
not got scabies back again.
47
00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:20,959
Sorry, you think you've got...?
Scabies. It's a bit like lice.
48
00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:22,879
Right, well, is it contagious?
49
00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:24,679
What you saying long words
at me for?
50
00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:28,680
Right, I want to get out now.
51
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:31,439
Hiya, Janet.
52
00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:32,759
Hiya, Laura!
53
00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:35,159
Oh, hiya, Laura! Hiya, Laura.
54
00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:38,319
Hi, sweetheart, how are you?
Your usual is it?
55
00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:42,320
No, not the morning after pill,
I think me scabies is back, Janet.
56
00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:45,839
Let's have a look.
57
00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:47,479
Yep, that's scabies.
58
00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:50,999
Those little mites are laying all
their eggs right under your skin.
59
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,479
Is it an STD or something?
60
00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:56,479
Can be. It's very contagious, you can
get it just from sharing clothes.
61
00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:58,319
Do you want the cream in case?
62
00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:00,559
Yeah, I might have caught it.
63
00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:04,399
Um, ?14.99. I haven't caught it.
64
00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:06,799
Aww, Laura, you poor love.
65
00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:09,839
Take this, on the house, seeing as
you're such a good customer.
66
00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:11,479
Come back if you need any more.
67
00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:15,480
Thanks, Janet.
68
00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:19,560
Chin up, love.
69
00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:22,919
I don't feel very well either.
70
00:03:22,920 --> 00:03:24,919
What's the matter, love?
71
00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:27,479
Erm, I think I have
got... depression.
72
00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:29,399
Since when?
73
00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:32,159
OK, well, have you got any symptoms?
74
00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:36,160
I don't have any motivation
and I feel very sad and hopeless
75
00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:41,160
and sometimes I want to
harm myself and/or others.
76
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:55,119
Leave it a couple of days, come back
if you're not feeling any better.
77
00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:58,479
I will do.
78
00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:02,480
Ah, bye, girls. Bye, Laura.
79
00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:06,600
Can you fetch the disinfectant,
please, Anita?
80
00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:10,919
Not doing very well at work? Yes.
81
00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:13,359
Difficulties at home? Yes.
82
00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:15,479
Google is not a doctor.
83
00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:18,159
It's the NHS website
so in a way it is.
84
00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:20,599
Do I find it hard to make
decisions? I don't know, do I?
85
00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:21,799
You're just bored.
86
00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:25,439
You are being really mean to me, considering
I might have a clinical illness.
87
00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:27,799
It's telling me
to call an ambulance now!
88
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:30,799
Here, I'm the sick one.
Can you rub this on my back?
89
00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:32,839
I can't, I'm too depressed.
90
00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:35,959
God, this place is like
a walk-in centre.
91
00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:39,159
That cream smells of petrol
and not in a good way.
92
00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:41,319
Bloody hell, I want to go
out tonight.
93
00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:43,599
Should you really be going
out with scabies?
94
00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:45,599
I reckon I can cover up the smell.
95
00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:48,399
So are you going to tell Gary
you've got a contagious infection?
96
00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:51,279
No, he'll think I've cheated on him.
Have you?
97
00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:54,279
Well, yeah, but... Then you'll
have to tell that guy as well.
98
00:04:54,280 --> 00:04:55,719
No, it just says your partner.
99
00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:58,319
I don't think the
scabies mites only lays eggs
100
00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:00,599
when you're "properly going out."
101
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:03,319
So I've got to tell
all of them then?
102
00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:07,320
Can I borrow your phone? I've not
got enough credit for that.
103
00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:12,439
So how are you feeling about
your hot date, Meg?
104
00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:13,559
Confident.
105
00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:16,719
He knows I'm currently employed as a
jumbo telephone and he still wants
106
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,479
to meet me, so I'm guessing
his standards are pretty low.
107
00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:23,479
OK, so... have you ever
read Weapons of Mass Seduction?
108
00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:27,439
No, but I ordered it online
along with my whip and handcuffs!
109
00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:30,999
Sarcasm - that's what it says.
Men hate that.
110
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:34,239
Oh, yeah, cos I'm TOO sarcastic!
111
00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:36,839
Oh, I see what you mean.
What else does it say?
112
00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:39,199
Men like dating versions
of themselves.
113
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:40,719
Wicked! Can I wear my trouser suit?
114
00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:44,720
No, darling, rule number one,
match his opinions.
115
00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:48,840
Also, order something exotic to eat
116
00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:51,999
and you'll be at first base
before dessert, Meg!
117
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:53,759
First base, as in holding hands?
118
00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:56,519
You're not really supposed to
kiss on the first date, are you?
119
00:05:56,520 --> 00:05:58,479
No, it's "everything but",
isn't it, Laura?
120
00:05:58,480 --> 00:05:59,879
Don't do dates.
121
00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:02,799
See if I really like him
I will give him a blowy.
122
00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:04,959
Yeah, not really a fan of those.
123
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:06,759
Oh, God, I bet you're all teeth.
124
00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:09,239
You just haven't
met the right cock yet.
125
00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:12,519
Some cocks are just very suckable,
you want to dive right in.
126
00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:15,399
Yeah, I think we're getting a little
bit ahead of ourselves.
127
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:17,039
Plus I might have skin lice so...
128
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:19,159
OK, definitely DON'T mention
the scabies.
129
00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:21,599
That's not in the book.
That's just my opinion.
130
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:23,879
Which I agree with. Rule number one.
131
00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:27,880
Well done! Oh, I love
date training! I'm so excited!
132
00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:32,359
Yet, so depressed.
Maybe I'm bipolar.
133
00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:36,319
Hi, it's Laura.
You've got scabies. Bye.
134
00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:40,039
Hi. It's Laura,
you've got scabies. Bye.
135
00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:44,040
Hi, it's Laura...
136
00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:49,079
Um, so, what's your
favourite swear word?
137
00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:52,599
Ooh, er... cock.
138
00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:54,199
I like cock.
139
00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:55,759
Pfft!
140
00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:57,239
Bit forward for a first date.
141
00:06:57,240 --> 00:07:00,759
Yes, what I mean is,
the penis-based swear-words are good.
142
00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:02,079
Right!
143
00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:04,479
What's your favourite
lady nether word?
144
00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:06,159
Beaver.
145
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:10,160
Beaver's good. I like minge.
146
00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:18,359
It's not the best one though,
obviously.
147
00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:19,719
Huh? Yeah, right.
148
00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:22,159
That's my favourite one.
Shall I say it?
149
00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:24,279
Please don't say it.
I'm going to say it.
150
00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:28,280
Please don't say it.
I'm going to say it. CUUNNT!
151
00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:34,159
What?
152
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:37,239
Oh, you're not one of those?
153
00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:38,839
Oh, come on!
154
00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:40,999
Sorry, I just really hate that word.
155
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:45,000
Salmon?
156
00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:49,399
And the oysters.
157
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:52,079
Oysters? You're brave.
158
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:56,080
Well, I'm very exotic, you see.
159
00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:07,079
Nice?
160
00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:11,080
Mmmmm!
161
00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:12,639
Did you just spit that out?
162
00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:14,519
No.
163
00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:18,520
It's how you're supposed to do it.
164
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:54,239
So, where do you live? Headingley.
165
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:56,759
Me too. I live with my
mental ex-boyfriend.
166
00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:59,239
Shall I change the subject?
167
00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,959
Yeah.
168
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:05,959
So my friend Laura has
this infection.
169
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:07,199
What kind of infection?
170
00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:11,200
Well, it's a bit like lice,
sort of like tiny little mites
171
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:14,999
and they burrow
under your skin and lay eggs
172
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:19,000
and there's a really inflamed rash.
173
00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:22,279
The best bit was
when we were in the pharmacy and...
174
00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:25,919
Sorry, can you just stop
pouring water all the time?
175
00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:29,639
I've just had one glass of
water which you poured,
176
00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:31,399
I'm adequately hydrated.
177
00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:35,400
- Sorry. Just doing my job.
- Well, do it better.
178
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:37,959
Where was I?
179
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:41,879
I might be getting scabies any
day now, is what I'm saying.
180
00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:44,599
What? It's not an STD necessarily.
181
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:48,600
It CAN be sexually transmitted
but... I didn't want to say that
182
00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:52,720
because I didn't know whether
we were gonna... or not.
183
00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:57,640
Do you want the bill? Yeah.
184
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:05,839
Princess Di called,
wants her suit back.
185
00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:07,319
This is your fault by the way.
186
00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:10,399
If you didn't have scabies I
wouldn't have been talking about it.
187
00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:12,919
I told you specifically not
to talk about it.
188
00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:14,359
Should you even be out, Laura?
189
00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:17,639
I've put make up over the top,
not like anybody knows.
190
00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:19,279
How much perfume have you got on?
191
00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:20,519
It's air freshener.
192
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:23,359
The men of Leeds
are in for a treat tonight.
193
00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:25,719
Is this place even worth the wait?
194
00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:29,720
It'll cheer you up, I've seen some
right 10s going in. See?
195
00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:36,159
Uh...? Don't, Meg.
196
00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:39,319
No, he can't do that.
You can't do that!
197
00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:41,719
Excuse me! There is a queue!
198
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:44,839
You can't just swan up to the front,
"Ooh, I'm macho, I'm a Leeds wanker."
199
00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:46,959
No, it doesn't work like that.
200
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:49,599
Actually, we're just here
for a private party.
201
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:52,399
And I'm not from Leeds,
I'm from Bingely.
202
00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:53,559
As you were.
203
00:10:53,560 --> 00:10:56,239
Eddie's party yeah? In you go, mate.
204
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:57,999
Actually, we're
here for that party too.
205
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:02,000
Whose? Eddie's.
Just go to through to function room.
206
00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:08,959
We're gate-crashing, this is what
gate-crashing feels like!
207
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:12,719
I feel so alive!
208
00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:15,839
Hi! Hi there!
Yeah, we're here for Eddie.
209
00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:17,159
Free drinks! Get in!
210
00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:20,319
Oh, yes, buffet!, I'm starving.
211
00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:23,546
Boom! What's that cake?
It's a quiche!
212
00:11:28,124 --> 00:11:29,603
Is everybody looking at us?
213
00:11:29,604 --> 00:11:32,683
No. I think we're blending in. Oh.
214
00:11:32,684 --> 00:11:35,243
I'm bored. Full of ponces in here.
215
00:11:35,244 --> 00:11:38,403
We need to stay for at least
as long as the free drinks last.
216
00:11:38,404 --> 00:11:39,963
I really need to scratch my arse.
217
00:11:39,964 --> 00:11:41,563
Just don't attract any attention.
218
00:11:41,564 --> 00:11:45,203
We need to come up with a back-story, like,
"We were in a short film with Eddie."
219
00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:48,243
Oh, right, because he's an actor now?
What a terrible idea.
220
00:11:48,244 --> 00:11:50,723
Let's just not talk to anybody.
221
00:11:50,724 --> 00:11:54,683
Hi, were you the girl who
shouted at me in the queue?
222
00:11:54,684 --> 00:11:57,163
Sorry, my mistake.
223
00:11:57,164 --> 00:11:59,003
So, how do you know Eddie?
224
00:11:59,004 --> 00:12:01,123
Meg went to university with him.
225
00:12:01,124 --> 00:12:03,523
Oh, right, did you do Maths?
226
00:12:03,524 --> 00:12:05,043
Yes, she did.
227
00:12:05,044 --> 00:12:06,643
Bit of a brain-box, are you?
228
00:12:06,644 --> 00:12:08,843
Er, yes.
229
00:12:08,844 --> 00:12:11,203
It's not just adding up
and taking away.
230
00:12:11,204 --> 00:12:13,643
No, it's angles,
231
00:12:13,644 --> 00:12:16,763
it's fractions,
it's finding the root.
232
00:12:16,764 --> 00:12:18,123
Well, I'm Eddie's brother.
233
00:12:18,124 --> 00:12:21,603
I visited him a couple of times, I
remember you lot were party animals.
234
00:12:21,604 --> 00:12:24,403
Yeah, well, that's Maths.
235
00:12:24,404 --> 00:12:28,404
Let's just say we were very good
at "dividing our time." Amazing.
236
00:12:29,044 --> 00:12:30,843
Barney, by the way.
237
00:12:30,844 --> 00:12:32,203
Meg.
238
00:12:32,204 --> 00:12:34,643
I'm surprised we've never met.
Hmm, it's weird.
239
00:12:34,644 --> 00:12:36,163
So, what do you do?
240
00:12:36,164 --> 00:12:38,243
I'm... an accountant.
241
00:12:38,244 --> 00:12:39,603
Like Eddie.
242
00:12:39,604 --> 00:12:41,644
Exactly.
243
00:12:53,924 --> 00:12:56,563
Oh, yes, I love the animal game.
244
00:12:56,564 --> 00:13:00,564
OK, er, you look
a bit like... a swan!
245
00:13:01,444 --> 00:13:03,043
The only bird with a penis.
246
00:13:03,044 --> 00:13:07,044
Well, no, a female swan.
Er, what would Eddie's animal be?
247
00:13:07,724 --> 00:13:09,283
Eddie...
248
00:13:09,284 --> 00:13:11,163
Bird of prey?
249
00:13:11,164 --> 00:13:13,403
Yeah, yeah, he looked
a bit like an eagle.
250
00:13:13,404 --> 00:13:17,404
Eddie the eagle!
251
00:13:21,004 --> 00:13:24,323
Barney? Are you OK?
252
00:13:24,324 --> 00:13:25,763
Yeah.
253
00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:29,323
I'm sorry,
I just miss him so much.
254
00:13:29,324 --> 00:13:31,444
Why did he have to go
and kill himself?
255
00:13:53,404 --> 00:13:56,243
OK, I'm just going to
get you some tissues.
256
00:13:56,244 --> 00:13:59,724
Yeah, sorry.
257
00:14:01,444 --> 00:14:04,803
Laura? Listen to me. Eddie is dead.
258
00:14:04,804 --> 00:14:06,643
You are dancing at a wake.
259
00:14:06,644 --> 00:14:10,644
Oh, right. Got ya.
260
00:14:16,044 --> 00:14:18,283
I am in touch with my emotions
261
00:14:18,284 --> 00:14:22,284
so I have been able to
self-diagnose acute depression.
262
00:14:22,964 --> 00:14:26,964
Bunny, can I have a word? Actually, Meg, I'm having
a really serious conversation about my illness.
263
00:14:27,244 --> 00:14:29,723
Meg doesn't think I have
anything to be depressed about
264
00:14:29,724 --> 00:14:33,724
and that I'm just attention seeking.
I really need to talk to you.
265
00:14:37,004 --> 00:14:39,963
Bunny, listen to me. I've found
something out, it's pretty bad.
266
00:14:39,964 --> 00:14:42,843
It wasn't my fault. How was I
supposed to know he was underage?
267
00:14:42,844 --> 00:14:44,883
OK, not that. Oh, good.
268
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:48,524
This party we're at, the one
we've gate-crashed, Eddie's party.
269
00:14:50,164 --> 00:14:51,563
He's not worth it, love!
270
00:14:51,564 --> 00:14:55,564
Shh. Listen to me.
Eddie is fucking dead.
271
00:14:55,844 --> 00:14:57,123
Killed himself.
272
00:14:57,124 --> 00:14:58,883
What, just now?
273
00:14:58,884 --> 00:15:01,203
No! We're at a wake.
274
00:15:01,204 --> 00:15:02,923
Oh, my God...
275
00:15:02,924 --> 00:15:06,083
Eddie! Why? Oh, poor Eddie.
276
00:15:06,084 --> 00:15:07,283
Who we didn't know.
277
00:15:07,284 --> 00:15:09,403
I've been asking where he is
all night. Whoopsy.
278
00:15:09,404 --> 00:15:10,763
Right, we have to leave.
279
00:15:10,764 --> 00:15:13,443
No! I think we should
stay and pay our respects.
280
00:15:13,444 --> 00:15:15,003
Plus, it'll be really good for me
281
00:15:15,004 --> 00:15:18,323
to be around similarly
depressed people.
282
00:15:18,324 --> 00:15:19,844
Are you trying to cry?
283
00:15:21,364 --> 00:15:24,563
Oh, God. It's Nick from
the date. What does he want?
284
00:15:24,564 --> 00:15:27,963
"Sorry I left so abruptly.
I completely overreacted.
285
00:15:27,964 --> 00:15:31,123
"Do you want to meet tomorrow?"
Second date, high five!
286
00:15:31,124 --> 00:15:33,323
Meg, inappropriate.
287
00:15:33,324 --> 00:15:37,003
Let's get out of here.
288
00:15:37,004 --> 00:15:38,883
Meg!
289
00:15:38,884 --> 00:15:42,243
I've been looking for you,
I need to talk to you.
290
00:15:42,244 --> 00:15:46,244
Please, don't leave me. I don't
want to be alone, not tonight.
291
00:15:47,284 --> 00:15:48,683
Will you come home with me?
292
00:15:48,684 --> 00:15:50,483
Erm...
293
00:15:50,484 --> 00:15:53,883
Meg, Bunny says she's not ready to
go yet. Something about a tribute.
294
00:15:53,884 --> 00:15:57,003
No.
295
00:15:57,004 --> 00:16:01,003
Every night in my dreams
296
00:16:01,004 --> 00:16:05,004
I see you, I feel you
297
00:16:06,324 --> 00:16:10,324
That is how I know you go on...
298
00:16:16,324 --> 00:16:20,324
I can't take much more of this.
Let's go.
299
00:16:21,884 --> 00:16:25,203
Meg! Meg! Don't go.
300
00:16:25,204 --> 00:16:28,403
Look, Meg, meeting you tonight,
it was meant to be.
301
00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:31,563
Come back to mine, please.
302
00:16:31,564 --> 00:16:35,564
It's what he would have wanted.
303
00:16:37,604 --> 00:16:38,803
For Eddie?
304
00:16:38,804 --> 00:16:42,804
..and far
Wherever you are...
305
00:16:43,604 --> 00:16:47,123
Yeah. For Eddie.
306
00:16:47,124 --> 00:16:48,603
Let's get a cab.
307
00:16:48,604 --> 00:16:50,043
I haven't got any money.
308
00:16:50,044 --> 00:16:54,044
You accountants,
you're all the bloody same.
309
00:16:54,964 --> 00:16:57,443
This is taking sympathy shag
to the next level.
310
00:16:57,444 --> 00:17:00,043
Once more
311
00:17:00,044 --> 00:17:04,044
You open the door.
312
00:17:05,124 --> 00:17:08,163
Oh, yeah!
313
00:17:08,164 --> 00:17:11,083
Are you OK? Yep.
314
00:17:11,084 --> 00:17:12,963
Are you thinking about Eddie?
315
00:17:12,964 --> 00:17:15,163
Er, no. Are you?
316
00:17:15,164 --> 00:17:19,164
Not any more.
You make all the pain go away.
317
00:17:19,364 --> 00:17:21,643
Really? Must be pretty good, then?
318
00:17:21,644 --> 00:17:23,923
Please don't stop blowing me.
319
00:17:23,924 --> 00:17:25,363
It'll set me off again.
320
00:17:25,364 --> 00:17:29,364
No, OK, shh. Down we go.
321
00:17:31,564 --> 00:17:34,324
Oh, yeah, you're amazing. Cheers.
322
00:17:37,364 --> 00:17:41,364
Oh, God, I'm going to come,
I'm going to come for Eddie.
323
00:17:42,124 --> 00:17:45,043
Eddie!!
324
00:17:45,044 --> 00:17:48,363
Thank you.
325
00:17:48,364 --> 00:17:52,364
I could stay awake
Just to hear you breathing.
326
00:17:54,444 --> 00:17:58,444
You're incredible.
I feel so much better.
327
00:17:59,884 --> 00:18:01,523
Cool.
328
00:18:01,524 --> 00:18:03,923
Awesome me.
329
00:18:03,924 --> 00:18:06,483
We can crack on again in a minute.
330
00:18:06,484 --> 00:18:10,484
I'm just going to call the girls,
let them know I'm not dead.
331
00:18:12,764 --> 00:18:14,564
That was the wrong thing to say.
332
00:18:16,084 --> 00:18:19,123
But you are asleep anyway.
333
00:18:19,124 --> 00:18:22,203
I don't want to close my eyes
334
00:18:22,204 --> 00:18:25,003
I don't want to fall asleep
335
00:18:25,004 --> 00:18:27,643
Cos I miss you, baby
336
00:18:27,644 --> 00:18:30,763
And I don't want to miss a thing
337
00:18:30,764 --> 00:18:34,764
Cos even when I dream of you...
338
00:18:38,884 --> 00:18:42,884
Laura, I'm a legend.
I found the right cock!
339
00:18:43,764 --> 00:18:46,243
No, he's all over it.
340
00:18:46,244 --> 00:18:50,043
I'm amazing at blow jobs,
what can I say?
341
00:18:50,044 --> 00:18:54,044
No, he's stopped crying.
342
00:18:54,084 --> 00:18:58,084
I don't know, I think
I've blown him back together!
343
00:18:58,764 --> 00:19:00,603
Yeah, OK, come and meet me.
344
00:19:00,604 --> 00:19:04,604
All right, I'll send you
a drop pin, laters.
345
00:19:06,724 --> 00:19:10,724
Slut.
346
00:19:19,004 --> 00:19:22,003
Oh, fuck. What?
347
00:19:22,004 --> 00:19:24,763
Have you left this room?
Has anybody seen you?
348
00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:27,723
Well, I've been to the toilet but
there was no-one else in there.
349
00:19:27,724 --> 00:19:29,083
We need to get you out of here.
350
00:19:29,084 --> 00:19:30,763
Well, good morning to you too!
351
00:19:30,764 --> 00:19:33,323
Sorry, it's just... Fuck!
352
00:19:33,324 --> 00:19:36,523
I need to go check something,
just stay here.
353
00:19:36,524 --> 00:19:38,283
I need to see if she's come back.
354
00:19:38,284 --> 00:19:41,203
Who? Stay here.
355
00:19:41,204 --> 00:19:45,204
OK, technically,
you are holding me hostage.
356
00:19:50,844 --> 00:19:54,163
OK, so, here's the plan.
357
00:19:54,164 --> 00:19:55,803
Are you ready? Er, yeah.
358
00:19:55,804 --> 00:19:58,963
Right, I'm going to go downstairs
and distract my, er,
359
00:19:58,964 --> 00:20:02,003
housemate in the kitchen. I need
you to sneak past the kitchen,
360
00:20:02,004 --> 00:20:04,003
get out of the front door
without being seen.
361
00:20:04,004 --> 00:20:07,923
Remember where the main door
is, yeah? Er yes. Excellent.
362
00:20:07,924 --> 00:20:10,283
OK, I need you to
wait on the landing
363
00:20:10,284 --> 00:20:12,363
and wait for my signal.
Are we clear?
364
00:20:12,364 --> 00:20:14,403
Yes. Copy.
365
00:20:14,404 --> 00:20:16,243
Ooh, I've got butterflies!
366
00:20:16,244 --> 00:20:18,843
Let's go.
367
00:20:18,844 --> 00:20:21,363
Wait. I didn't get your number.
368
00:20:21,364 --> 00:20:23,803
Yeah, I gave it to you last night.
369
00:20:23,804 --> 00:20:24,843
No, you didn't.
370
00:20:24,844 --> 00:20:27,123
I'm sure we did that. No.
371
00:20:27,124 --> 00:20:29,803
OK, let's just get you out
of here, shall we? Oh, wait.
372
00:20:29,804 --> 00:20:33,804
I definitely gave it to you last
night. What's the signal? Oh, er...
373
00:20:35,004 --> 00:20:36,643
OK.
374
00:20:36,644 --> 00:20:40,644
Good luck.
375
00:21:41,684 --> 00:21:44,043
Meg! Meg!
376
00:21:44,044 --> 00:21:46,283
This is definitely a low point.
377
00:21:46,284 --> 00:21:47,963
Good shag?
378
00:21:47,964 --> 00:21:49,803
I was good.
379
00:21:49,804 --> 00:21:51,803
Hiya, Janet.
380
00:21:51,804 --> 00:21:54,243
Hi, Laura. Hi, Laura!
381
00:21:54,244 --> 00:21:57,883
Can I have a morning-after pill,
some scabies cream
382
00:21:57,884 --> 00:21:59,683
and fruit pastilles.
383
00:21:59,684 --> 00:22:00,963
Anything else?
384
00:22:00,964 --> 00:22:04,163
Yeah, I think I might need
some of that cream too.
385
00:22:04,164 --> 00:22:07,763
Yep, you do. You'll have to
inform any recent sexual partners.
386
00:22:07,764 --> 00:22:11,203
Well, if he'd given me his number...
387
00:22:11,204 --> 00:22:12,403
How about you, love?
388
00:22:12,404 --> 00:22:15,403
I'm fine now. We went to a
wonderful wake last night.
389
00:22:15,404 --> 00:22:19,404
Aww, I'm sorry, love.
390
00:22:24,244 --> 00:22:26,403
What a beautiful night that was.
391
00:22:26,404 --> 00:22:28,243
You feeling better?
392
00:22:28,244 --> 00:22:29,483
Yeah, as sad as it was,
393
00:22:29,484 --> 00:22:33,243
I really think going to a wake
put things into perspective for me.
394
00:22:33,244 --> 00:22:36,123
Yeah, it makes you realise
how fragile it all is.
395
00:22:36,124 --> 00:22:38,443
We only get one go round.
396
00:22:38,444 --> 00:22:41,083
No, I mean because it made me
realise how talented I am,
397
00:22:41,084 --> 00:22:43,203
and what a gift
I have for entertaining.
398
00:22:43,204 --> 00:22:45,203
I was the belle of the wake.
399
00:22:45,204 --> 00:22:49,204
You were the bell-END of the wake.
400
00:22:52,964 --> 00:22:54,523
Are we doing the walk of shame?
401
00:22:54,524 --> 00:22:58,524
Stride of pride, mate,
stride of pride.
402
00:23:02,639 --> 00:23:10,639
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403
00:23:10,689 --> 00:23:15,239
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