Original subtitles

Come on!

♪ I hear the train a-coming

♪ It's rolling around the bend

♪ And I ain't seen the sunshine since I don't know when

♪ And... ♪

♪ Hear that whistle blowing... ♪

I'm not being funny but what exactly are we doing here?

Waiting. I got that much.

What am I looking for? - Birds. What do you think you're looking for?!

Well, I can see a couple of pigeons.

And, yeah, there's a guy with a zip across his neck.

I'm guessing he's not human. You're impressing me more every day !

Type five. Not a danger in himself.

A dum-dum. It's his master we need to worry about.

I can't see any master.

Look again.

No. No-one.

Just a couple of dead bodies.

Oh, they're not dead. They're undead.

♪ Who's cooking monsters in the kitchen?

♪ Who keeps a knife tucked in her coat?

♪ Who keeps you nervous like screaming motorcycles?

♪ You keep the fire burning

♪ I'll keep the water running

♪ We'll know it's over when they turn out the lights ♪

Night stalkers, blood ghouls,

Nosferatu. Vampires?

Type twelves.

Humans have always been fascinated by them.

You should read this.

Dracula. The original

and the best. I think you'll find it very illuminating.

Can't I watch the movie?

You've got to be kidding me.

I take it you don't like children.

Come on. Get out of the goddamn way. Or teachers.

♪ AC/DC: Back In Black

♪ Back in black, I hate to say it

♪ It's been too long, I'm glad to be back

♪ Yes, I'm let loose

♪ From the noose

♪ That's kept me hanging around, I keep looking at the stars

♪ Cos they're gettin' me high, forget the hearse cos I'll never die

♪ I've got nine lives

♪ Cats eyes

♪ Using every one of them and running wild

♪ Cos I'm back

♪ Yes, I'm back... ♪

It's good to be back.

This is the real deal, Luke.

I want you to cancel all driving tests, all parties.

From now on, don't even think about having a life.

I don't know what you're so worried about.

Surely we just grade them, smite them and move on.

Better start listening, Luke.

Grading them's the easy bit.

You've never been up against a type 12

and right now you're in no fit state to win.

I thought Thrip was a type 12.

Nobody likes a smart ass.

OK.

Quincey's no ordinary vampire.

You need to get yourself in training. Mina will help. I can help.

Ruby, this job requires intelligence and experience.

The first I'll take your word for,

the latter I need to see some more evidence.

And what's Mina's experience of fighting vampires?

Mina's been around a lot longer than you think.

What is it with people around here?

You're the only person who uses it.

Who does the cleaning - the fairies?

Ruby's good with a dishcloth.

Er, hello. I'm here.

Er, hello. I know.

Mina, we need your help.

Sorry. No can do. There are vampires in town.

I heard. But piano recitals without the pianist don't

really work so well. I thought that was on Friday.

No. But I have tickets for Friday.

Well, they should've told you. I'm sorry.

Maybe we'll catch up later, huh?

You know, if you want to help me,

you could read this.

Knock me up a word document, plot summary, you know?

Gee, thanks. I get all the good jobs !

What would I do without you?

"I could feel the soft, shivering touch of the lips

on the super-sensitive skin of my throat,

and the hard dents of two sharp teeth,

just touching and pausing there."

But you'll need me to sign, though?

Sign what? The health check form.

I always sign the health check form.

So that you know if I have HIV,

or hepatitis,

or whether I inject myself with drugs.

Do you inject yourself with drugs?

Oh! Good gracious, no!

Then I'm sure your blood will be absolutely fine.

He's very charming that doctor of yours, isn't he?

He did take an awful lot of blood, though.

It's for a very good cause. Oh, I know.

I like to think that my blood will help some small child somewhere.

I'm sure it will.

There you go.

♪ Keep a-going ♪ Keep a-going

♪ And if it hails or if it snows

♪ Keep a-going ♪ Keep a-going

♪ Ain't no use to sit and whine... ♪

Kill me. I mean, really, kill me now.

You're gonna have to learn to appreciate the finer things in life.

I do. I appreciate it when I reach a new level on Worms,

I appreciate it when Homer Simpson says 'd'oh',

I appreciate a good night out with my friends. Some other time.

Why are we watching Mina, anyway?

She's got a concert. She doesn't have a concert. She has a past.

If you'd been doing your homework, you'd know that.

♪ And don't forget to pray... ♪

OK. Here we go. Showtime.

There's something I should've told you about Mina.

Mina has half-life blood.

The blood of Dracula runs through her veins. Mina's a vampire?

Mina could be the most powerful vampire there is.

She controls her urges by cleansing her blood.

I don't understand. I thought it was 'us' and 'them'.

It is. She is one of us.

And if she starts behaving differently...

we grade her and smite her.

I don't believe you were invited.

I'm not any old vampire, Anika.

I don't need to be invited.

Where is he? Who?

I didn't know you were coming back.

We do a lot of things without informing you.

This wasn't the wisest. That remains to be seen.

Presumably, you were hoping to find him alone.

You were hoping we had gone our separate ways.

What Quincey does is none of my business.

I came here to give him a message. Leave.

Mina - Tell him that.

Your concern is very touching.

Zippy!

If he wants to see you, I'm sure he knows where to find you.

You'll give him my message.

Show Ms Harker out.

She appears to have left her guide dog at home.

Good night? Where's Luke?

I sent him home. He's not really interested in piano recitals.

He's back, isn't he?

Have you seen him? No.

Are you sure about that?

Rupert, why would I lie to you?

I'm sorry.

Mina, I know this is difficult for you.

But erm... You went round to see him, didn't you?

You really don't trust me, do you?

He wasn't there. That is the truth.

I spoke to the witch instead.

And what did she say? Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

I know what you're thinking, Rupert.

I messed up last time, I know that.

You and Quincey have a history. I understand, but I can't afford

to let it get in the way again. It won't.

We have to kill him, Mina.

I know.

I won't stand in your way.

All right? Hey. How's my favourite freedom fighter?

Great. I spent the night sitting in Galvin's car,

drinking in the aroma of stale whiskey

and listening to country and western. I thought I got all the good jobs.

He's on my back about not doing my homework. What have you learnt?

Dracula - I presume you've finished it. Not exactly.

Well, it's really long and really boring. Can't I just watch the film?

Mina's in it. I need to know what it says about Mina. Oh, right.

Yeah. It says she's a boring bitch we can do without.

It says she's a vampire.

You wanted to see him.

Your wish is granted.

It annoys you, doesn't it, having me around?

He's in there...

somewhere.

I told you not to come back.

When have I ever listened to you before?

I don't want to know where you've been

or what you've been up to. It's lovely to see you too.

What do you want, Quincey? Catch up.

I doubt it. I miss you.

It's the truth, for all it's worth.

I miss you, Mina.

Do you miss me?

I think so. What do you want?

I've had enough of being on my own.

Would you believe me if I said I was lonely? But you have Anika.

I'm lonely and it's your fault.

Don't start that again. It's true.

What would you have me do?

I don't know. I didn't have a choice.

Join me. No.

You belong with me. No.

Imagine how powerful we could be together.

Or maybe you've got something better to do.

I need time...

I have time.

..to think.

You'll find me?

Vampires have been around for thousands of years.

You'll find a vampire myth in almost every culture.

Most people think vampires come from Transylvania,

but actually they started out in the Far East.

Yosh!

From China, and Tibet

they transported themselves with the trade caravans

along the silk route to the Mediterranean.

Maybe they were looking for a better quality of life.

The Slavs seem to think that if they scatter

poppy seeds at their graveside,

vampires will stay up all night counting them,

instead of killing people. Sadly that is untrue.

The South Americans think that aloe vera over the door

will do the trick. Also untrue.

The only thing that will help against a type 12

are quick reactions.

Vampires move faster than a New-York minute. How fast is that?

About this fast.

Who's side are you on?

I think I'll be all right, a bit of practice...

Oh, this is just the beginning, my boy.

Those skills will only help you if you're fighting vampires,

not if you want to kill them. I'll buy a few bulbs of garlic

and Mum's got a stake in the garden.

Fairy stories. Only vampires can kill vampires.

If you want to kill a vampire,

you gotta bring it back to life.

Right.

We need a sample of Quincey's DNA.

You mean like a hair or something? A hair, a piece of clothing. Fine.

I'll just ask if I can borrow his jeans.

We need to stake out his lair.

There's gotta be something there. More waiting around in cars.

No car this time, sorry.

Eurgh!

Yo! I come bearing gifts.

And information.

Mina is a slapper. That is the crucial piece of news

that will solve this whole case !

Seriously. She let Dracula suck her blood night after night after night.

What else? She's, like, really old.

I mean like 150. Underneath her clothes she must -

Ruby, have you found out anything useful?

Interesting not necessarily useful.

You are completely hopeless, you know that?

I am not...not completely.

Are you sure you're up to this? Yeah.

Just don't get too close. Call us when he's on his way home.

Take this. I can do that.

Galvin, should we have a rendezvous point in case we get split up?

Is that what your mum does when she goes to the grocery store (?)

Don't let them smell your fear, Luke.

Mr Galvin.

So nice to see you again.

Galvin? Galvin?

Where are you?

Oh dear. Have you lost your friend?

Galvin's not here.

Galvin?

Are you feeling lonely?

I'll keep you company.

Oops. Unlucky.

Galvin. Galvin.

Galvin. Galvin!

Galvin!

Oh, erm, a lemonade, please.

You must have worked up quite a thirst following me all that way.

At least let me buy you a drink.

The problem is, that vampires have really had a bad press.

And you just can't afford to get a bad press these days.

The fact is that you kill people.

You kill to eat.

Well, yeah, but - It's no different.

I eat chicken. Do you like it?

Love it. It's the same for me.

Chickens don't have feelings. Are you sure about that?

They're not intelligent.

Neither are most humans.

So, I mean... How many people have you killed?

You're intrigued now, huh?

I'm not intrigued. I'm horrified.

How often do you eat chicken? Once a fortnight.

For...? 18 years.

Once a fortnight for 18 years.

That's 468 chickens. Now, if you imagine

that I've been alive about six times longer than you...

That's a lot of people.

The chickens feel the same.

You shouldn't have sent him in there.

He'll be fine. I'll be fine.

God damn it. He's the Last Van Helsing.

He has to fight vampires some time. He's not ready.

Nor's Galvin. That's not the problem.

We have cuts and bruises but no DNA.

Hiya. We'll have to go back in there. It's too dangerous.

What's up? There must be another way.

Are you sure an old-fashioned stake

through the heart won't kill him? We've tried that.

Don't ask.

Did you get your butt kicked?

Supposing we get the DNA,

what were you going to do with it?

By using electric currents to stimulate dead DNA,

dust becomes living. Then what?

We shoot him with it. The live DNA infects his body.

What was once dead, lives again.

And without his immortality...

Quincey reverts back to his natural age.

Which is? 125.

At which point - He dies. Cool.

Well, it would be 'cool', if we could get a sample of his DNA.

Did you not get his DNA, then?

Do you have anything useful to say?

I may be blind, but I'm not stupid.

I can hear you pulling faces. You cannot hear me pulling faces.

Ladies.

Well, I might have something useful.

Is that what I think it is? What is it?

You mean you can't hear it (?)

How did you get a hold of that? Don't ask.

♪ BUDDY HOLLY: That'll Be The Day

Yes!

♪ Well, that'll be the day when you say goodbye

♪ Yes, that'll be the day when you make me cry

♪ You say you're gonna leave, you know it's a lie

♪ Cos that'll be the day when I die

♪ Well, you give me all your lovin'

♪ And your turtle dovin'

♪ And all your hugs and kisses and your money... ♪

I'm beating you by 100 points.

Thank you, Zippy.

You're really rubbish.

♪ That some day... ♪

Thank you Zippy.

♪ Well, that'll be the day

♪ When you say goodbye

♪ Yes, that'll be the day when you make me cry

♪ You say you're gonna leave

♪ You know it's a lie

Anika's better than you.

♪ That'll be the day when I die

Argh!

Argh! Oh, oh!

Argh! Argh!

Argh!

♪ Cos that'll be the day... ♪

Thank you, Zippy.

♪ Well, that'll be the day... ♪

What can I get you, sir?

You, Gail.

I'm not for sale.

I wasn't planning on paying.

I'll catch you up.

Interesting choice of entertainment.

You should've seen me. I'm the master.

So, I presume you're here to tell me 'yes'.

Oh, you do, do you?

People don't come across town in the middle of the night

to a deserted parking lot to say 'no'. They pick up the phone.

What's the deal? You're unnerving me.

I've thought a lot about my life.

You're right.

You're all I have. I mean...

sure, there's Galvin, but he's just going to grow old and die.

I'll do it.

I'll join you.

They're waiting in the car. You're gonna need your coat on.

It's freezing outside. Here.

You're terrible at small talk, you know that? Yes.

I'm fine.

Really.

What time are you meeting him?

In half an hour.

Let's just get this over with.

So, who is this Quincey bloke anyway?

Just someone I used to know.

You don't read very fast, do you? He isn't in the book.

I don't think.

You're not coming. What?

Not safe. But... No buts.

If I wanted to sell my story to the tabloids,

I'd make a lot of money. You would.

You need to keep me happy.

Quincey, Quincey, Quincey...

"Seven years ago we all went through the flames." Blah-de-blah-de-blah.'

"It is an added joy to Mina and me that..."

Bloody hell.

You could look slightly more pleased to see me.

I am. I thought you weren't coming.

I had a bit of a run in with Anika.

She's not massively happy about the whole thing.

I told her it changes nothing,

but I think she knows that's a bit of a lie.

She's in love with you.

Yes, well...

We don't have to go through with this, you know?

You could leave, take Anika, start afresh.

What? A new life in the country?

I don't think she'd be very good at baking cakes and making jam.

This is what I've always wanted, Mina.

For you

to finally admit to what you really are.

A proper vampire.

To be with me.

I'm sorry. I told you not to come back.

Not to worry.

I've kicked Galvin's arse before.

You may have got away last time, but this time we got a new weapon.

New blood. Terrifying !

Your DNA, it should be.

OK. Do it.

No!

Blood is thicker than water.

That's just great ! What did you think you were doing?

Please, Mina, enlighten me

because I must be missing something here.

You just sacrificed Galvin for some old lover. He's not my lover.

He's my son.

Luke.

You're not very good at lying low, are you?

You better have a good explanation

cos he's got Galvin and Ruby. Calm down. Calm down?!

We need to take care of your arm.

Is it bad? No, it could've been a lot worse.

I don't know why you didn't just let him kill me.

I would never do that.

Us and them. Grade them and smite them.

I thought you believed that crap too. I do. I do.

You don't have children, Luke.

You couldn't possibly understand.

These aren't things you choose, they just happen.

I didn't ask to be bitten by Dracula.

We were happy - Jonathan, Quincey and I.

We were a proper family.

I had a normal life. I thought they cured you.

That's what it said in Ruby's synopsis...

which she got off the internet.

Nothing worked.

They managed to keep it at bay for a while but...

I am what I am...

a vampire.

I watched as my husband,

Jonathan, grew old and died.

Quincey was all I had left.

He was so much like Jonathan -

so intelligent and gentle.

Er, hello? Gentle?!

It's true.

But that was a long time ago.

He changed.

After the war he was damaged and bitter.

Everywhere he went he was surrounded by death

and then death came for him too.

Many soldiers died of septicaemia.

Their wounds became infected.

There was no way of treating them, no antibiotics,

no knowledge of blood groups.

Quincey wouldn't have lasted another day.

I couldn't sit there and watch him die, Luke.

He was my only child,

the only link to the life I once had.

I knew there was one thing that would save him.

My blood.

Sleep now.

And when you wake, everything will be better.

You turned Quincey into a vampire.

I saved his life. Well, that's one way of looking at it.

I didn't know it was going to turn out like this.

I thought Quincey would be able to control his urges like I do.

He chose to embrace his anger instead.

Why didn't you tell me this before?

It's not something I'm proud of.

I'm sorry, Luke.

I messed everything up.

Listen, I don't see things as black and white as Galvin,

but it seems pretty clear to me -

Quincey has to die. I know.

I know. I've given him enough chances.

He's not going to change. I'm going in after them.

I don't think that's a very good idea.

You've seen how powerful Quincey is.

Galvin tried to defeat him once - tried and failed.

We can't afford to lose you, Luke.

You couldn't beat him when you were healthy.

This. Flesh wound.

I'm going to find them.

You can either help me or not.

Give me a few hours.

I'll be waiting.

I can't imagine how it feels to be hung out to dry by your own mother.

I lost my family a long time ago,

as did you, if I remember correctly.

Nice earrings.

It wasn't a very nice thing you did -

stealing a hair.

You could've asked.

That's an interesting new recruit you've got, Galvin.

He's got his father's good looks.

You better start making a will - he's the real deal.

I already have. Everything goes to my next of kin. What about you?

Who gets the car? Or have you obtained something else

worth leaving? I got a clear conscience.

Really? I don't think Luke would agree with that.

What do you think, Ruby?

Has Galvin not told you the real story of Luke's dad?

Are you keeping us here until Mina gives in? I can live without Mina.

I have done for most of my life.

It's not her that I want.

But she does have something rather dear to me.

I should take you out, you know that?

You should, but you won't.

I told you to leave. You didn't tell me you were

going to kill him. I had no choice.

You are a terrible mother.

He's not an ideal son.

You have 24 hours.

And what exactly does he want?

It's simple. What he wanted all along -

not you...

..your blood.

Where have you been?

Well, what's the story?

I'm not happy about this. - I'm not happy either.

God knows whether Galvin and Ruby are even alive. Where are they?

It's a warehouse in Shoreditch.

Do you want me to come with you?

Thanks, but I think it's best I go on my own.

It's wine. Doesn't smell like any wine I've ever drunk.

Maybe there's a little blood in there. Why do you do it?

Mina's not going to join you. Why do you do what you do?

I have my reasons. Bitterness.

It's been a few years now maybe it's time to let it go.

You half-lives took away the one thing I had in my life.

Oh, she was lovely -

Galvin's wife.

He's got a picture in his wallet.

I'm sure he'll show you some time.

Galvin likes to group us all together.

One half-life got his back up, so we all have to suffer.

People deal with their problems in different ways.

You have no idea about problems.

My mother was bitten by Dracula, I fought in a war I didn't believe in,

my father died, my friends died and to top it all off

my mother turned me into a vampire. I deserve my time on the couch.

He's got a point. Don't let him sweet talk you, Ruby.

He's a killing machine just like the rest of them.

(One, two, three.)

All right? Role play.

You know how it is.

Galvin is obsessed with revenge.

For me, it's power.

And with Mina's blood,

the pure blood of Dracula,

I will be the most powerful vampire around.

Chin, chin.

Mina!

"You gave me the wrong address. What's going on?

Mina, pick up. Mina!"

Mother?

I want you to let them go.

This has nothing to do with them.

Forgive me if I don't entirely trust you.

You're my son, Quincey.

I didn't let them hurt you, did I?

I won't let you down again.

I've saved your life before. Remember?

And that was the biggest mistake I've ever made.

Bloody hell.

For once, Ruby, I think you might be right.

Can you reach my hands?

Not quite. Yeah!

No matter how much you want to, you can't. You gave me life.

I'm still your son. No, not any more.

Yours...and Jonathan's...

The time for games is over, Mr Galvin.

I offered a perfectly reasonable swap, but my mother has declined.

I can only apologise. I'm sorry too.

Luke!

You said that wouldn't kill her. It'll slow her down.

Quincey!

I'm sorry.

Don't worry about me.

I've died before.

God damn it!

I am going to buy you a new coffee machine.

It's worse than that. Oh.

Stack 11, second shelf,

third book along.

Ah-ha-ha!

You'll be the first vampire in heaven, Mina.

Well, I'll send word to you in hell, Rupert Galvin.

You can see, right, when you're a vampire?

That must be weird.

It is. Now I know what you both look like.

And...? You're better than I expected.

You're...as...I expected. What's that supposed to mean?

No, I'm sorry. What is that supposed to mean?

It means things are back to normal.

Actually, Galvin, you could do with losing a few pounds.

Word is you got yourself a new girlfriend. It's Alice.

It's girls like her that give women a bad reputation.

Everybody's part of this war. They just don't know about it yet.

It symbolises vengeance and must be paid in blood.

What is it?

It was Luke. He looked like he was dead.

transcript:chocolate sync:innuit

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