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1
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2
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Gentlemen, welcome to my universe.
3
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4
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- Whoa!
- Oh, holy shit.
5
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6
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It's a feast for the eyes
7
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and a veritable buffet for the dick.
8
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Oh, good. My dick is starving.
9
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So get into it
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'cause tonight, you're my guests here.
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Enjoy some women, do some drugs.
12
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Nothing's off-limits.
13
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So, hey, man, have you been able
14
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to talk to ghosts your whole life
15
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- or is it like a...
- Except for that.
16
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We don't talk about that in public.
17
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Oh, yeah, right. No, me neither.
18
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- That's... that's gross.
- Come on, man! Don't be weird!
19
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- I'm being totally weird.
- So, Danny,
20
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now, I've been following
you for a long time,
21
00:00:58,327 --> 00:00:59,874
uh, not stalking you, obviously,
22
00:00:59,875 --> 00:01:01,004
but following you
on Instagram, and, uh,
23
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I've noticed that all of these parties
24
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have orgies taking place.
25
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Do you know, kind of,
when that tends to happen or...
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Orgies, uh, are like an avalanche.
27
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You can't force them.
28
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You just gotta let
them happen naturally.
29
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Although... hang on, they...
30
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they do make avalanches happen, right?
31
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They light the dynamite
and throw it off the helicopter.
32
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Hey, man, could you
take your shoes off?
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- Yeah! I'm so sorry.
- Oh, shit...
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Nah, you're cool, man.
35
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- Just this little bitch.
- Hey, Danny.
36
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Oh, excuse me, gentlemen.
37
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I gotta let these ladies
use my dick as a coke mirror.
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- Sure, sure, sure.
- But enjoy yourself.
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Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
40
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Thank you, Danny Poker!
41
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Man, I can't fucking believe
we're at a Danny Poker party.
42
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I know, I know, right?
43
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It is, uh... it's very arousing.
44
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Hey. Really, dude?
45
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- Come on.
- Don't listen to him.
46
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He doesn't see what I see, sweet stuff.
47
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You caught my eye from across the room.
48
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I want you in my mouth.
49
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I'm ready, are you? Shit!
50
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Ah, what happened to the chocolate?
51
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Don't worry. Just a blown fuse.
52
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Don't let your pussies dry up.
53
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54
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- Synced and corrected by hawken45 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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56
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- [moaning]
- [snaps fingers] Get out.
57
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- Suck face in the toilet.
- Yeah, go suck toilet.
58
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What were you two even doing in here?
59
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What was... what was going on?
60
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You saw that piece-of-shit ghost, right?
61
00:03:06,715 --> 00:03:08,724
Yeah, I did. But are you testing me
62
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or are we allowed to
talk about ghosts now?
63
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That guy shows up at all my parties,
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turns off all the goddamn electricity
65
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like some sort of
retarded Thomas Edison.
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Fucking ghosts, right?
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I mean, you can't live with them
68
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'cause technically they're not alive,
69
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and I could totally live without them,
70
00:03:21,490 --> 00:03:23,499
so I guess I don't really have a point.
71
00:03:23,500 --> 00:03:26,415
I mean, how am I gonna
bounce that guy, right?
72
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I mean, if anybody sees
me talking to a ghost,
73
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like, they're gonna know
why I'm so good at cards.
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- Yeah, that would suck.
- Yeah.
75
00:03:32,282 --> 00:03:34,322
Well, you know, I could talk to him.
76
00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:37,257
- Seriously?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
77
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Getting rid of ghosts
is kind of my thing.
78
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79
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[chuckles]
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81
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Whoo! Yes.
82
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Hey-o!
83
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Hello, my name is Pac.
Yes, I can see you.
84
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Unfortunately, this is a private event,
85
00:03:57,945 --> 00:04:00,774
so I'm gonna have to politely
ask you to get the fuck out.
86
00:04:00,775 --> 00:04:03,774
I'd be more than happy to leave
this Sodom and Gomorrah.
87
00:04:03,775 --> 00:04:06,367
- Good.
- Just as long as he leaves, too.
88
00:04:07,138 --> 00:04:08,774
That is my son Elijah.
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He left for Rumspringa about a year ago
90
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and now it is time for him
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to come back to the Amish community.
92
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Okay, what if he doesn't want to?
93
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He does.
94
00:04:17,487 --> 00:04:19,308
You see, I have six daughters.
95
00:04:19,309 --> 00:04:22,208
- Wow.
- Elijah is my only son.
96
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He's the family's only hope
to continue the bloodline.
97
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He just needs a friendly reminder.
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That's where I come in.
99
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All right, consider it done.
100
00:04:32,249 --> 00:04:35,218
- You can go.
- How can I "consider it done"
101
00:04:35,219 --> 00:04:36,861
if you haven't done it yet?
102
00:04:36,862 --> 00:04:38,870
No, no, I mean it... I'm going to do it.
103
00:04:38,871 --> 00:04:41,603
- It's as good as done.
- I'll just wait until you do it.
104
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Dude, it's a fucking figment of speech.
105
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- Will you get on with it?
- Oh, my God!
106
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Yes, I will.
107
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[clears throat]
108
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Hey, Elijah? Got some coke there, huh?
109
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- Yeah, man.
- Okay, my name is Pac
110
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and I'm a medium.
111
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And the ghost of your father is here.
112
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He wants you to put an end to all this
113
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and wrap up your Ramstinger.
114
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- Rumspringa.
- Roomstinger.
115
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- My dad's really here?
- Yes, really.
116
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He's standing right here with us.
117
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Fuck you, Dad!
118
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No, uh, he's actually over here.
119
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Fuck you, Dad!
120
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This is the life I want to lead!
121
00:05:17,927 --> 00:05:20,816
Not... not that life of cow shit!
122
00:05:21,038 --> 00:05:23,488
Tell him that Hannah's husband has died.
123
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- Who's Hannah?
- Wait, Hannah?
124
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- What about Hannah?
- As children,
125
00:05:27,655 --> 00:05:29,754
they played double Dutch
every night after dinner.
126
00:05:29,755 --> 00:05:31,201
- That's sweet.
- She grew
127
00:05:31,226 --> 00:05:33,225
to be a full-bodied, sturdy woman...
128
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- Mm.
- with long hair
129
00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:37,191
and strong legs and good milking hands.
130
00:05:37,216 --> 00:05:39,175
Yeah, I can see why
anyone would like that.
131
00:05:39,176 --> 00:05:42,035
All the other men in the
village are married off.
132
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He'd literally be the only one
left she could marry.
133
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- What's he saying?
- Uh, he's saying
134
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that Hannah's husband dropped dead.
135
00:05:49,396 --> 00:05:51,425
- R-really?
- Really. If you go back now,
136
00:05:51,426 --> 00:05:53,375
all the fresh milk you can handle.
137
00:05:53,376 --> 00:05:54,506
[glass clinks]
138
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- Fine.
- Excellent. Good. Yeah.
139
00:05:58,466 --> 00:06:00,481
Okay, and now you can consider it done
140
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and go into your light. Is it this one?
141
00:06:01,988 --> 00:06:04,379
I don't trust Elijah will make it
142
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out of this devil's
playground on his own.
143
00:06:06,705 --> 00:06:08,278
What are you talking about?
He's fine. Look at him.
144
00:06:08,279 --> 00:06:10,328
You must escort him home.
145
00:06:10,329 --> 00:06:12,308
Come on, man! You're ruining my night!
146
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All I wanna do is have my way
with that chocolate fountain
147
00:06:14,545 --> 00:06:15,881
for a few half hours!
148
00:06:15,882 --> 00:06:17,811
Okay, fuck. Fine, fine. Yes, I'll go.
149
00:06:17,812 --> 00:06:19,012
[people cheering]
150
00:06:20,912 --> 00:06:22,931
Wait for me, my sweet.
151
00:06:22,932 --> 00:06:23,992
152
00:06:26,962 --> 00:06:28,811
You've got this, man.
153
00:06:28,812 --> 00:06:29,901
Now, I know chicks can be intimidating,
154
00:06:29,902 --> 00:06:31,420
but you just gotta be aggressive, bro.
155
00:06:31,445 --> 00:06:33,354
Chicks love aggression!
156
00:06:33,355 --> 00:06:35,384
Are you equipped to give dating advice?
157
00:06:35,385 --> 00:06:36,566
No, not really.
158
00:06:36,567 --> 00:06:38,574
Ooh, I'm starving. Are we gonna eat?
159
00:06:39,607 --> 00:06:42,433
- Hey, guys.
- [gasps] Elijah!
160
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- Ta-da!
- Hi, guys.
161
00:06:44,034 --> 00:06:46,033
- The "prodigidal" son returns.
- Hi.
162
00:06:46,058 --> 00:06:48,008
Not me... him. Big huggers, huh?
163
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- That's nice.
- Hi.
164
00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:51,265
Super sweet, but I got
a big party to get back to,
165
00:06:51,290 --> 00:06:53,169
so let's wrap it up.
166
00:06:53,194 --> 00:06:54,363
- Last one.
- Hi!
167
00:06:54,364 --> 00:06:57,253
- Um, guys, this is Pac.
- Hello.
168
00:06:57,254 --> 00:06:59,293
He's from a West Coast community.
169
00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:00,403
Hi.
170
00:07:00,404 --> 00:07:03,173
He... he rides the short
wagon around town.
171
00:07:03,174 --> 00:07:03,920
Ah.
172
00:07:03,921 --> 00:07:06,672
Hold on a second, did you
just introduce me as retarded?
173
00:07:06,697 --> 00:07:07,739
174
00:07:07,740 --> 00:07:09,749
Did you? Um... [chuckles]
175
00:07:09,750 --> 00:07:12,889
176
00:07:12,890 --> 00:07:14,799
- Hi.
- Who the fuck is that?
177
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:15,929
- Elijah, language!
- Sorry.
178
00:07:15,930 --> 00:07:18,176
I'm still cleansing the mouth palate.
179
00:07:18,201 --> 00:07:18,958
- Who is that?
- Oh, that's
180
00:07:18,959 --> 00:07:20,107
Jebediah Klopfenstein,
181
00:07:20,108 --> 00:07:23,638
a recent transfer from
a community in Pennsylvania.
182
00:07:23,663 --> 00:07:25,782
- Shit.
- Hannah seems to like him.
183
00:07:25,783 --> 00:07:27,023
What's not to like?
184
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He's a paragon of Amish culture,
185
00:07:28,934 --> 00:07:30,795
pure as the day is long.
186
00:07:30,796 --> 00:07:33,152
Never even taken a Rumspringa.
187
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- That's fucking insane!
- Elijah!
188
00:07:34,790 --> 00:07:35,889
Sorry.
189
00:07:36,583 --> 00:07:37,594
I thought my dumb dad said
190
00:07:37,595 --> 00:07:38,704
she wouldn't have any fucking suitors.
191
00:07:38,705 --> 00:07:40,164
- Well, he did.
- I can't compete
192
00:07:40,165 --> 00:07:42,004
with Amish Seann William Scott.
193
00:07:42,005 --> 00:07:43,134
Oh, yeah. Nailed it.
194
00:07:43,135 --> 00:07:45,135
195
00:07:48,085 --> 00:07:50,024
Hey, listen, listen, listen to me.
196
00:07:50,025 --> 00:07:52,064
Okay, so he's a bona
fide bohunk times 10.
197
00:07:52,065 --> 00:07:54,084
Okay, so what? So are we, right?
198
00:07:54,085 --> 00:07:56,064
Plus, think about your odds.
They're still pretty good.
199
00:07:56,065 --> 00:07:58,501
There's only one other guy
and he's a fucking transfer.
200
00:07:58,502 --> 00:08:00,409
You were her double Dutch partner, man.
201
00:08:00,410 --> 00:08:02,409
Come on, show her the ropes.
202
00:08:02,410 --> 00:08:04,259
Show her the ropes, jump her in.
203
00:08:04,260 --> 00:08:05,399
- Yeah.
- Yeah!
204
00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:06,419
Come on! Let's go.
205
00:08:06,420 --> 00:08:08,339
- Come on.
- All right.
206
00:08:08,340 --> 00:08:10,289
207
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:11,399
Hey, hey, get the fuck out there.
208
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,450
Come on, go. Go, go, go, go.
209
00:08:19,470 --> 00:08:21,459
Fuck!
210
00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:23,429
Just wipe it off casually, man.
211
00:08:23,430 --> 00:08:26,289
Just... this doesn't
need to be a disaster.
212
00:08:26,290 --> 00:08:27,449
- Yes.
- Okay.
213
00:08:27,450 --> 00:08:29,290
Bailamos.
214
00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:34,459
- Hi. Hi, Hannah.
- Elijah!
215
00:08:34,460 --> 00:08:36,429
Oh, it's been so long!
216
00:08:36,430 --> 00:08:38,409
Yes! Um, may I have this dance?
217
00:08:38,410 --> 00:08:41,380
Um, actually...
218
00:08:50,450 --> 00:08:52,430
219
00:09:14,300 --> 00:09:17,269
Bring her back. Bring her back
to her childhood, yeah!
220
00:09:17,270 --> 00:09:19,350
221
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:32,470
222
00:09:35,310 --> 00:09:37,260
Amish Style.
223
00:09:42,270 --> 00:09:43,400
Amish Style.
224
00:09:52,330 --> 00:09:54,310
- [squishes]
- Fuck!
225
00:09:59,450 --> 00:10:03,289
Hey, you ladies ever been
with an Indian Jew before?
226
00:10:03,290 --> 00:10:04,410
Eh, your loss.
227
00:10:06,350 --> 00:10:07,980
Excuse me, ladies.
228
00:10:07,981 --> 00:10:09,920
You wanna do a group shot here
229
00:10:09,921 --> 00:10:12,050
and get the group party started,
if you know what I mean?
230
00:10:12,051 --> 00:10:14,000
[squeaks]
231
00:10:14,001 --> 00:10:15,900
- I don't know what you mean.
- All right, well,
232
00:10:15,901 --> 00:10:17,040
why don't I start the avalanche?
233
00:10:17,041 --> 00:10:19,960
Pour whatever kind of booze
you wanna drink in there
234
00:10:19,961 --> 00:10:21,950
and I'll swallow whatever
it is you give me.
235
00:10:21,951 --> 00:10:24,910
236
00:10:24,911 --> 00:10:26,672
Uh-oh! Oh, no!
237
00:10:26,673 --> 00:10:29,987
My tongue is stuck. Aw, man!
238
00:10:30,012 --> 00:10:32,742
Hey, can one of you
just lick right here?
239
00:10:32,743 --> 00:10:34,742
Kind of get it loose. If you both do it,
240
00:10:34,743 --> 00:10:36,662
it will happen a lot quicker.
241
00:10:36,663 --> 00:10:37,762
- N-no?
- Perv.
242
00:10:37,763 --> 00:10:40,209
Don't leave me here... ow, my tongue!
243
00:10:41,035 --> 00:10:42,792
Ah, fuck. I thought
that was gonna work.
244
00:10:42,793 --> 00:10:45,783
- Damn it!
- [ringtone plays]
245
00:10:48,301 --> 00:10:50,350
Pac, come on, man!
You had to call now?
246
00:10:50,375 --> 00:10:52,284
I was about to get an orgy started
247
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:53,896
with, like, so many chicks.
248
00:10:53,897 --> 00:10:55,498
Oh, that's so many rad, Clyde.
249
00:10:55,499 --> 00:10:57,277
Listen, I need you to
find everything you can
250
00:10:57,278 --> 00:10:59,287
about a guy named
Jebediah Klopfenstein.
251
00:10:59,288 --> 00:11:01,247
He's a legit hunk-asaurus,
252
00:11:01,248 --> 00:11:02,815
so maybe type that into your search.
253
00:11:02,816 --> 00:11:04,795
Does that have anything
to do with a ghost case?
254
00:11:04,796 --> 00:11:06,745
Yeah, of course it's for
the ghost case, man.
255
00:11:06,746 --> 00:11:08,412
I'm just... I'm trying to
get back to the party, okay?
256
00:11:08,413 --> 00:11:10,627
Bro, you've gotta get
a smartphone, okay?
257
00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:12,643
You need to be able to look
that stuff up yourself.
258
00:11:12,644 --> 00:11:14,363
I know. I just... I like my flip phone.
259
00:11:14,364 --> 00:11:16,334
It makes hanging up
feel more urgent, you know?
260
00:11:17,404 --> 00:11:19,403
[goat bleats]
261
00:11:19,404 --> 00:11:22,243
[sighs]
262
00:11:22,244 --> 00:11:23,263
- Hey.
- Hey, man.
263
00:11:23,264 --> 00:11:24,453
At least we tried.
264
00:11:24,454 --> 00:11:26,113
I just don't belong here.
265
00:11:26,114 --> 00:11:28,083
What? No, no, no, no. No, no, Elijah.
266
00:11:28,084 --> 00:11:29,649
I don't know. You can't give up, okay?
267
00:11:29,650 --> 00:11:31,404
And not just because I wanna
go eat a chocolate fountain,
268
00:11:31,405 --> 00:11:32,870
but because, I gotta tell you,
269
00:11:32,871 --> 00:11:34,920
there's something fishy
about that Jebediah guy.
270
00:11:34,921 --> 00:11:36,800
- What do you mean?
- What do I mean?
271
00:11:36,801 --> 00:11:37,850
Didn't your sister say he never went
272
00:11:37,851 --> 00:11:38,920
on his Ramstein or whatever?
273
00:11:38,921 --> 00:11:40,504
- Yeah.
- So how the fuck
274
00:11:40,529 --> 00:11:42,458
could he possibly know that dance?
275
00:11:42,459 --> 00:11:44,528
Am I right?
276
00:11:44,529 --> 00:11:47,518
- He's a fucking phony!
- He's a fucking phony!
277
00:11:47,519 --> 00:11:49,889
Okay, even if that's true,
how do we prove it?
278
00:11:49,890 --> 00:11:51,969
Dude, I can't be the retard
and the mastermind, okay?
279
00:11:51,970 --> 00:11:54,929
- It's too much for me to handle.
- There's only one way.
280
00:11:54,930 --> 00:11:57,039
- Your father says there's only...
- That asshole's still here?
281
00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:59,891
Yeah, that asshole is still here.
282
00:12:00,074 --> 00:12:01,829
Fuck you, Dad!
283
00:12:01,830 --> 00:12:03,989
No, he... he's actually over here.
284
00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:06,829
- [scoffs] Whatever.
- No, not "whatever," okay?
285
00:12:06,830 --> 00:12:08,929
His unfinished business is you.
286
00:12:08,930 --> 00:12:10,879
He's not going anywhere because you are
287
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,019
the most important fucking thing to him.
288
00:12:13,020 --> 00:12:14,979
He never said that to me.
289
00:12:14,980 --> 00:12:17,899
Well, he's trying to right now
290
00:12:17,900 --> 00:12:19,859
in a really weird, roundabout way.
291
00:12:19,860 --> 00:12:21,920
So why don't we hear
the clingy old fucker out?
292
00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:25,010
- All right.
- Yeah?
293
00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:28,379
Does he have a white glove?
294
00:12:28,435 --> 00:12:30,795
295
00:12:30,820 --> 00:12:32,950
Jebediah Klopfenstein!
296
00:12:34,970 --> 00:12:38,010
I challenge you to an Amish-Off!
297
00:12:40,950 --> 00:12:41,999
Bitch.
298
00:12:42,277 --> 00:12:44,297
- What was that?
- Um, nothing.
299
00:12:47,930 --> 00:12:49,889
[goat bleats]
300
00:12:49,890 --> 00:12:53,859
Because I am the most bearded
Amish man in this community,
301
00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:55,979
it is my duty and honor
302
00:12:55,980 --> 00:12:57,979
to judge the age-old tradition,
303
00:12:57,980 --> 00:12:59,939
the Amish-Off.
304
00:12:59,940 --> 00:13:01,870
My beard is longer.
305
00:13:02,970 --> 00:13:05,889
I should be judging this Amish-Off
306
00:13:05,890 --> 00:13:07,840
and you know it.
307
00:13:08,980 --> 00:13:10,820
Ooh, intense.
308
00:13:18,117 --> 00:13:20,266
- [crying]
- Well, now that that is settled,
309
00:13:20,459 --> 00:13:22,979
we may commence with the competition.
310
00:13:22,980 --> 00:13:24,959
Two men enter,
311
00:13:26,064 --> 00:13:26,879
two men leave,
312
00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:30,919
but one man will feel
a little bad about himself
313
00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:34,674
and be less impressive
to the opposite sex.
314
00:13:34,699 --> 00:13:36,960
So, without further ado,
315
00:13:37,609 --> 00:13:40,678
one, two, three,
316
00:13:40,703 --> 00:13:43,859
- Amish-Off!
- Yeah!
317
00:13:43,860 --> 00:13:46,009
Elijah, Elijah, Elijah!
318
00:13:46,010 --> 00:13:47,829
Elijah!
319
00:13:47,830 --> 00:13:48,949
Go!
320
00:13:48,950 --> 00:13:49,969
Come on!
321
00:13:49,970 --> 00:13:51,498
Put your body weight into it.
322
00:13:51,523 --> 00:13:53,949
323
00:13:53,950 --> 00:13:56,009
- Kill him!
- Time's up.
324
00:13:56,010 --> 00:13:57,869
- [groans]
- Unh!
325
00:13:57,870 --> 00:13:58,959
Whoo!
326
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:00,840
[wrench clangs]
327
00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:04,999
Time's up.
328
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,970
329
00:14:12,930 --> 00:14:13,968
Go!
330
00:14:14,900 --> 00:14:16,840
How hard is it to peel a potato, man?
331
00:14:19,930 --> 00:14:20,999
Noink.
332
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,919
Come on!
333
00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:24,940
- Come on, peel.
- Time's up.
334
00:14:26,020 --> 00:14:28,919
[applause]
335
00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:32,859
[flute whistling]
336
00:14:32,860 --> 00:14:35,000
[buzzing]
337
00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:39,979
- Hey.
- You know that
338
00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:41,839
Jebediah Klopfenstein
you were asking me about?
339
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:43,859
- Yeah.
- Well, turns out
340
00:14:43,860 --> 00:14:45,899
Jebediah Klopfenstein's
not even his real name.
341
00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:48,879
His real name is Jedediah Klopfenstein.
342
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:50,537
I didn't hear any
difference there, so...
343
00:14:50,538 --> 00:14:53,413
Jedediah. There's a "D" in there.
344
00:14:53,414 --> 00:14:55,404
He created this alias
so he can throw his "D"
345
00:14:55,405 --> 00:14:56,978
all over the Amish community.
346
00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:59,787
Yes, Clyde! You just cracked
the whole case wide open, man.
347
00:14:59,788 --> 00:15:00,958
Text me everything you have on him.
348
00:15:00,959 --> 00:15:02,058
Will do.
349
00:15:02,060 --> 00:15:05,049
So, uh, on another note,
how is the party going?
350
00:15:05,050 --> 00:15:07,885
Uh, I assume by that you mean
how's your chocolate fountain?
351
00:15:07,886 --> 00:15:09,172
Indeed, I do.
352
00:15:09,173 --> 00:15:11,142
- Still flowing.
- Uh, yes.
353
00:15:11,143 --> 00:15:13,735
I knew it would be, Clyde.
I just... I knew it would be.
354
00:15:13,736 --> 00:15:15,665
Okay, bye.
355
00:15:15,666 --> 00:15:16,785
[phone chimes]
356
00:15:16,786 --> 00:15:19,765
Something else is flowing right here.
357
00:15:19,766 --> 00:15:21,736
358
00:15:25,706 --> 00:15:26,835
Dude, dude, what are you doing?
359
00:15:26,836 --> 00:15:28,835
This is my wife.
360
00:15:28,836 --> 00:15:31,735
- Cool.
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
361
00:15:31,736 --> 00:15:32,855
Could you go away from us, please?
362
00:15:32,856 --> 00:15:34,685
All right. Geez, sorry.
363
00:15:34,686 --> 00:15:36,735
I thought the avalanche was starting.
364
00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:38,706
365
00:15:40,896 --> 00:15:41,896
[camera clicks]
366
00:15:41,897 --> 00:15:45,685
367
00:15:45,686 --> 00:15:47,775
[grunting]
368
00:15:48,252 --> 00:15:49,341
Time's up.
369
00:15:49,603 --> 00:15:51,573
Ah, fuck it!
370
00:15:53,309 --> 00:15:56,178
- You win.
- Whoo!
371
00:15:56,203 --> 00:15:58,262
Yeah! [laughs]
372
00:15:58,263 --> 00:16:00,333
- Ooh!
- Ooh! [laughs]
373
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:05,202
You're so crazy!
374
00:16:05,203 --> 00:16:06,382
- [phone buzzing]
-
Hey
375
00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:08,272
You don't want none
of that, none of that
376
00:16:08,273 --> 00:16:09,352
Hey, you don't want none of that
377
00:16:09,353 --> 00:16:11,051
What is that sound?
378
00:16:11,052 --> 00:16:12,991
I, uh, haven't a clue.
379
00:16:12,992 --> 00:16:14,051
Appears to be coming
380
00:16:14,052 --> 00:16:15,440
- from your pocket.
- Hannah!
381
00:16:15,441 --> 00:16:17,665
- [gasps]
- That's not mine!
382
00:16:17,666 --> 00:16:18,805
Oh, no?
383
00:16:18,806 --> 00:16:21,675
384
00:16:21,700 --> 00:16:23,221
- [snaps]
- Oh, shit!
385
00:16:23,246 --> 00:16:24,345
I just popped my suspenders.
386
00:16:24,464 --> 00:16:26,304
[groans] That's funny...
387
00:16:28,125 --> 00:16:29,352
because I just dialed the number
388
00:16:29,353 --> 00:16:31,986
of one Jedediah Klopfenstein.
389
00:16:31,987 --> 00:16:33,269
- Bam!
- See, that's not me.
390
00:16:33,270 --> 00:16:34,713
That's got a "D" in it.
391
00:16:34,714 --> 00:16:36,733
Yeah, well, the "D" is in
your mouth now, buddy.
392
00:16:36,734 --> 00:16:38,683
The jig is up.
393
00:16:38,684 --> 00:16:39,863
That's right, everybody.
394
00:16:40,224 --> 00:16:42,193
I'm not West Coast Amish.
395
00:16:42,218 --> 00:16:43,712
- I'm also not retarded.
- [gasps]
396
00:16:43,714 --> 00:16:44,813
I wanted to clear that up earlier,
397
00:16:44,814 --> 00:16:46,099
but I wanted to find the right time.
398
00:16:46,100 --> 00:16:48,470
I'm just a regular guy
who talks to ghosts
399
00:16:48,471 --> 00:16:51,370
who happens to have just saved
the purity of your bloodline.
400
00:16:51,371 --> 00:16:54,350
Uh, wait. You talk to ghosts?
401
00:16:54,351 --> 00:16:56,240
Yeah, that's not important.
402
00:16:56,241 --> 00:16:57,400
It's... shit. It's a force of habit.
403
00:16:57,377 --> 00:16:58,608
I'm sorry. I'm always
explaining that shit.
404
00:16:58,609 --> 00:16:59,738
Just forget about that part.
All you need to know
405
00:16:59,739 --> 00:17:02,568
is that with my technological savvy
406
00:17:02,569 --> 00:17:04,538
and Elijah's bravery,
407
00:17:04,539 --> 00:17:07,333
we just saved sweet Hannah
408
00:17:07,358 --> 00:17:09,775
from this despicable
piece-of-shit predator.
409
00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:12,789
Noink. This yuck-mouthed, dancing,
410
00:17:12,814 --> 00:17:14,013
douchebag imposter
411
00:17:14,368 --> 00:17:17,049
goes all across the country
infiltrating Amish communities,
412
00:17:17,050 --> 00:17:19,229
tricking girl after girl
413
00:17:19,230 --> 00:17:23,129
after girl after girl.
414
00:17:23,130 --> 00:17:25,872
Holy shit, how many
hot Amish girls are there?
415
00:17:25,873 --> 00:17:27,871
You bang all these chicks?
416
00:17:27,872 --> 00:17:29,496
- Should I become Amish?
- Pac!
417
00:17:29,497 --> 00:17:31,526
Huh? Yeah, look. Here, see for yourself.
418
00:17:31,527 --> 00:17:33,706
- Unh!
- Ooh...
419
00:17:33,707 --> 00:17:36,566
ew!
420
00:17:37,344 --> 00:17:38,494
Take him away.
421
00:17:39,778 --> 00:17:42,706
- [grunts]
- Gently, of course.
422
00:17:43,016 --> 00:17:45,085
We don't believe in violence.
423
00:17:45,086 --> 00:17:46,956
[phone beeps]
424
00:17:51,147 --> 00:17:54,006
So, um,
425
00:17:54,007 --> 00:17:55,976
would you get a cider with me?
426
00:17:55,977 --> 00:17:58,067
I thought you'd never ask.
427
00:18:00,967 --> 00:18:02,086
[groans]
428
00:18:02,087 --> 00:18:04,016
- Thank you...
- Hey.
429
00:18:04,017 --> 00:18:06,036
- For your help, Pac.
- Yeah, don't worry about it.
430
00:18:06,037 --> 00:18:08,947
- You can just... you can go.
- Yeah, yeah, will do.
431
00:18:12,947 --> 00:18:14,096
What's going on?
What... why are you still here?
432
00:18:14,097 --> 00:18:16,056
- Just leave already!
- I don't know.
433
00:18:16,057 --> 00:18:19,429
- Something's wrong.
- Elijah and Hannah
434
00:18:19,541 --> 00:18:20,692
have stolen a carriage!
435
00:18:20,693 --> 00:18:22,672
Oh, shit. I know exactly
where they're going.
436
00:18:23,044 --> 00:18:24,461
- Vegas.
- What?
437
00:18:24,462 --> 00:18:27,002
They asked if the horse
had enough hay in him
438
00:18:27,003 --> 00:18:28,615
to make it to Manhattan!
439
00:18:28,616 --> 00:18:30,695
Well, that was my next guess.
440
00:18:30,696 --> 00:18:31,755
441
00:18:31,756 --> 00:18:33,606
Hey, ladies.
442
00:18:35,776 --> 00:18:39,755
- Hey, handsome head.
- Hello.
443
00:18:39,756 --> 00:18:43,625
You wanna find a bedroom with me?
444
00:18:43,626 --> 00:18:44,755
- Interesting.
- Mm.
445
00:18:44,756 --> 00:18:46,785
For one-on-one sex?
446
00:18:46,786 --> 00:18:48,685
- Yeah.
- How old-fashioned.
447
00:18:48,686 --> 00:18:50,755
Whoa! Um, I'm not complaining,
448
00:18:50,756 --> 00:18:52,595
but that was a little violent.
449
00:18:52,596 --> 00:18:54,665
450
00:18:54,666 --> 00:18:56,595
Oh.
451
00:18:56,596 --> 00:18:58,615
You're making me
your little prisoner, huh?
452
00:18:58,616 --> 00:18:59,755
- Mm-hmm.
- I like that.
453
00:18:59,756 --> 00:19:02,635
Waterboard me. Just kidding.
454
00:19:02,636 --> 00:19:04,745
- Seriously, don't waterboard me.
- Okay.
455
00:19:04,746 --> 00:19:07,575
[moans]
456
00:19:07,576 --> 00:19:08,665
Don't stop. I really like this.
457
00:19:08,666 --> 00:19:10,735
I really do.
458
00:19:11,132 --> 00:19:14,081
- [retches]
- What the fuck?! Oh, fuck!
459
00:19:14,456 --> 00:19:15,692
Fuck, I can't even see!
460
00:19:16,011 --> 00:19:18,246
I mean, I guess I can. I just...
I don't wanna open my eyes!
461
00:19:18,371 --> 00:19:19,431
[whines] Fuck.
462
00:19:21,576 --> 00:19:23,576
Okay. Wait, a little more.
463
00:19:25,225 --> 00:19:26,611
- [clears throat]
- Dude, I'm fucking
464
00:19:26,612 --> 00:19:27,986
handling this, okay?
465
00:19:28,129 --> 00:19:29,217
You gotta vanish.
466
00:19:29,218 --> 00:19:30,267
My new friend can't see you here.
467
00:19:30,268 --> 00:19:32,157
- Get out. Get out of here.
- Aw!
468
00:19:32,158 --> 00:19:34,237
- All right, fine!
- [people cheering]
469
00:19:34,238 --> 00:19:37,247
Dude! Dude, what the hell?
470
00:19:37,248 --> 00:19:39,297
You got what you wanted.
You got the dream girl, right?
471
00:19:39,298 --> 00:19:41,277
You got high standing in your
fucking community or whatever.
472
00:19:41,278 --> 00:19:43,147
What... what are you doing here?
473
00:19:43,148 --> 00:19:45,247
- Dude, this was all her.
- Oh, it was all her?
474
00:19:45,248 --> 00:19:47,107
You expect me to believe that shit?
475
00:19:47,108 --> 00:19:49,157
[coughing]
476
00:19:49,158 --> 00:19:52,237
When Elijah told me of
the wonders he saw in the world,
477
00:19:52,238 --> 00:19:55,277
I realized I can't settle down
without experiencing Rumspringa.
478
00:19:55,278 --> 00:19:57,177
- Ugh.
- I don't want her
479
00:19:57,178 --> 00:19:59,117
to have any regrets
after we're married.
480
00:19:59,118 --> 00:20:01,117
So you brought her here? Dude,
this is where regrets come
481
00:20:01,118 --> 00:20:02,287
to get fucking pregnant, okay?
482
00:20:02,288 --> 00:20:04,277
You gotta hit that blunt once or twice,
483
00:20:04,278 --> 00:20:05,862
take her home, get out of here.
484
00:20:05,863 --> 00:20:07,802
- No, we're going home.
- Good. Fucking great.
485
00:20:07,804 --> 00:20:08,983
- Go now.
- As soon as we experience
486
00:20:08,984 --> 00:20:10,873
the life-altering event
487
00:20:10,874 --> 00:20:12,813
that everyone around here
keeps talking about
488
00:20:12,814 --> 00:20:15,903
called, um, Danny's Poker Orgy.
489
00:20:15,904 --> 00:20:17,793
Oh, God, I hate that idea so hard.
490
00:20:17,794 --> 00:20:18,963
- Sounds exciting!
- No, Elijah, Elijah, Elijah.
491
00:20:18,964 --> 00:20:20,873
No. Come on, man,
you can't be cool with this!
492
00:20:20,874 --> 00:20:22,023
Dude, I'm sorry, Pac. I...
493
00:20:22,024 --> 00:20:25,863
I think we'll look back
on this someday and laugh.
494
00:20:25,864 --> 00:20:27,953
- I don't think so.
- Pac, no! Stop them!
495
00:20:27,954 --> 00:20:29,933
I'm trying! They're so horny
496
00:20:29,934 --> 00:20:31,823
- and young.
- [squirting]
497
00:20:31,824 --> 00:20:33,924
- Nice shot, Josh!
- [laughing]
498
00:20:37,014 --> 00:20:38,983
- You ready to go home?
- Yep.
499
00:20:38,984 --> 00:20:40,833
- Okay.
- Good choice, good choice.
500
00:20:40,834 --> 00:20:43,132
- Yeah, yeah. Skedaddle.
- Come, Hannah.
501
00:20:43,884 --> 00:20:44,949
Okay!
502
00:20:45,815 --> 00:20:47,367
There. Well, looks like your son
503
00:20:47,368 --> 00:20:49,397
is officially done with his Rimjobba.
504
00:20:49,398 --> 00:20:52,317
I wanna thank you for all
your help today, Pac.
505
00:20:52,318 --> 00:20:55,317
You know, I hope you
learned something today
506
00:20:55,318 --> 00:20:57,267
about the Amish people.
507
00:20:57,268 --> 00:20:59,267
We're not just ring bologna...
508
00:20:59,268 --> 00:21:00,367
Oh, my God, shut your face!
Shut up your face
509
00:21:00,368 --> 00:21:02,307
and just fucking leave already, okay?
510
00:21:02,308 --> 00:21:03,893
I didn't learn anything. I never do.
511
00:21:03,894 --> 00:21:06,042
I just wanted to try the
goddamn chocolate fountain!
512
00:21:06,043 --> 00:21:07,686
Hey, anybody got
513
00:21:07,687 --> 00:21:09,656
a larger-than-an-eight-gauge butt plug?
514
00:21:10,389 --> 00:21:13,608
Oh, I can't wait to get out
of this den of iniquity!
515
00:21:13,609 --> 00:21:16,549
[gasps] Oh!
516
00:21:21,479 --> 00:21:23,389
[electricity buzzing]
517
00:21:27,449 --> 00:21:29,488
It's what I do.
518
00:21:29,489 --> 00:21:31,408
Thank you.
519
00:21:31,409 --> 00:21:33,618
Ah, fuck!
520
00:21:33,619 --> 00:21:35,568
- [sighs]
- Hey, guy!
521
00:21:35,569 --> 00:21:37,588
Let's keep the fountain for another hour
522
00:21:37,589 --> 00:21:39,558
for my brother.
523
00:21:39,559 --> 00:21:41,508
[giggles]
524
00:21:41,509 --> 00:21:43,419
[slurping]
525
00:21:45,012 --> 00:21:48,951
Now, this is the room
where the magic happens.
526
00:21:48,976 --> 00:21:50,155
But when I'm not doing card tricks,
527
00:21:50,180 --> 00:21:52,129
I like to have orgies in here.
528
00:21:52,559 --> 00:21:53,893
- Oh, hello, ladies.
- Oh.
529
00:21:53,894 --> 00:21:55,783
Toss me a towel. Should be fun.
530
00:21:55,784 --> 00:21:56,913
You know what? Let's, uh...
531
00:21:56,914 --> 00:21:59,058
let's use the backup
orgy room, all right?
532
00:21:59,059 --> 00:22:01,712
Come back, come back,
come back, come back!
533
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:03,729
It's really not as bad
as it looks, I promise.
534
00:22:03,730 --> 00:22:06,116
- Avalanche.
- Fuck you!
535
00:22:06,870 --> 00:22:08,930
536
00:22:14,780 --> 00:22:15,920
Amish Style!
537
00:22:20,461 --> 00:22:25,444
- Synced and corrected by hawken45 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
538
00:22:25,494 --> 00:22:30,044
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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