Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:11,740 --> 00:00:13,509
Ah!
2
00:00:13,509 --> 00:00:15,844
Ow, God! Hi! Hey Tyson.
3
00:00:15,844 --> 00:00:17,279
You can't go to the newsstand anymore.
4
00:00:17,279 --> 00:00:18,380
I... I just wanted to go there
5
00:00:18,380 --> 00:00:19,548
and grab a couple snacks.
6
00:00:19,548 --> 00:00:20,716
You know, get away from Sue.
7
00:00:20,716 --> 00:00:21,850
We had kind of a rough night.
8
00:00:21,850 --> 00:00:23,819
Roofie's been arrested!
9
00:00:26,622 --> 00:00:27,823
Okay you can let go now, Tyson.
10
00:00:27,823 --> 00:00:28,924
I can't!
11
00:00:28,924 --> 00:00:29,925
My knuckles are caught
12
00:00:29,925 --> 00:00:31,426
in your braided bitch belt!
13
00:00:31,426 --> 00:00:32,594
Just let go! It's like a...
14
00:00:32,594 --> 00:00:33,729
it's like a raccoon trap.
15
00:00:33,729 --> 00:00:34,797
You gotta ease your fingers,
16
00:00:34,797 --> 00:00:35,831
ease the fingers open.
17
00:00:35,831 --> 00:00:37,699
There you go! See?
18
00:00:37,699 --> 00:00:38,767
Ah!
19
00:00:38,767 --> 00:00:42,767
20
00:00:47,876 --> 00:00:49,878
(screaming)
21
00:00:49,878 --> 00:00:53,878
22
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,535
You were such a careful
23
00:01:13,535 --> 00:01:14,736
and considerate drug dealer.
24
00:01:14,736 --> 00:01:15,838
Who took you down?
25
00:01:15,838 --> 00:01:17,339
Look, I never met the cop,
26
00:01:17,339 --> 00:01:18,941
but that big dick swings
to the name of Sid.
27
00:01:18,941 --> 00:01:20,342
Sid.
28
00:01:20,342 --> 00:01:22,044
Like Sid from the nursing home?
29
00:01:22,044 --> 00:01:23,979
I... I'm an undercover cop.
30
00:01:23,979 --> 00:01:26,448
I got intel for the precinct!
31
00:01:26,448 --> 00:01:28,784
That old fucker was like
one foot in the grave.
32
00:01:28,784 --> 00:01:30,752
His breath smelled like dead flowers!
33
00:01:30,752 --> 00:01:32,020
Look, we got a bigger problem, all right?
34
00:01:32,020 --> 00:01:33,722
All my product was confiscated.
35
00:01:33,722 --> 00:01:35,257
All of it.
36
00:01:35,257 --> 00:01:37,392
Even the special strain I was saving
37
00:01:37,392 --> 00:01:38,961
called Sue's finger.
38
00:01:38,961 --> 00:01:40,429
You named a special strain of weed
39
00:01:40,429 --> 00:01:41,530
after Sue's finger?
40
00:01:41,530 --> 00:01:42,931
You thoughtful devil, you.
41
00:01:42,931 --> 00:01:45,467
Listen, your dead girlfriend's finger
42
00:01:45,467 --> 00:01:47,903
is in a weed box in the evidence room!
43
00:01:47,903 --> 00:01:49,404
Okay well, lucky for us,
44
00:01:49,404 --> 00:01:51,340
I am a master improvoseur.
45
00:01:51,340 --> 00:01:53,775
- You're not.
- And a diplomat of disguise!
46
00:01:53,775 --> 00:01:55,010
Those two words don't even go together.
47
00:01:55,010 --> 00:01:56,945
- Read my lips.
- Through the phone?
48
00:01:56,945 --> 00:02:00,549
Yes. We are fine.
49
00:02:00,549 --> 00:02:02,351
I'ma fucking die in here.
50
00:02:02,351 --> 00:02:07,022
51
00:02:07,022 --> 00:02:09,791
(loudly clears throat)
52
00:02:09,791 --> 00:02:12,661
Officer Jeff... Jeffs... Jefferson...
53
00:02:12,661 --> 00:02:14,997
Jeff Jefferson reporting for duty.
54
00:02:14,997 --> 00:02:17,499
Preferably in the, uh, evidence room?
55
00:02:20,636 --> 00:02:22,938
(laughing)
56
00:02:22,938 --> 00:02:24,606
Who's the hilarious asshole
57
00:02:24,606 --> 00:02:26,275
who ordered a stripper
for Teddy's birthday?
58
00:02:26,275 --> 00:02:27,709
Oh... no. I'm... I'm not that.
59
00:02:27,709 --> 00:02:28,977
Oh shit!
60
00:02:28,977 --> 00:02:30,345
You're that fat dude from TV!
61
00:02:30,345 --> 00:02:31,747
Nope! I'm not that either.
62
00:02:31,747 --> 00:02:33,515
I'm not... I, I'm just an officer
63
00:02:33,515 --> 00:02:34,816
of the law here.
64
00:02:34,816 --> 00:02:36,451
I button my pants up one side at a time
65
00:02:36,451 --> 00:02:37,886
just like everybody else.
66
00:02:37,886 --> 00:02:39,321
Oh, you big time me?
67
00:02:39,321 --> 00:02:41,356
You know what? Fuck you.
68
00:02:41,356 --> 00:02:42,791
With all... with all your teeth,
69
00:02:42,791 --> 00:02:43,992
and all your fingers,
70
00:02:43,992 --> 00:02:45,527
and all your ears.
71
00:02:45,527 --> 00:02:47,763
Why do you not have those things?
72
00:02:47,763 --> 00:02:48,830
I'm gonna fuck the fame
73
00:02:48,830 --> 00:02:49,865
off your face.
74
00:02:49,865 --> 00:02:51,767
- Ahh!!
- Hey!
75
00:02:51,767 --> 00:02:54,536
No! No, no!
76
00:02:54,536 --> 00:02:56,939
(yelling continues)
77
00:02:56,939 --> 00:03:00,939
78
00:03:04,246 --> 00:03:05,914
Improvoseur.
79
00:03:05,914 --> 00:03:09,914
80
00:03:10,519 --> 00:03:11,653
Please be open, please be open,
81
00:03:11,653 --> 00:03:12,955
please be open.
82
00:03:12,955 --> 00:03:13,855
(lock rattles)
83
00:03:13,855 --> 00:03:15,757
Ah, fuck a duck!
84
00:03:15,757 --> 00:03:17,326
- Freeze!
- Oh, shit, I'm sorry.
85
00:03:17,326 --> 00:03:18,760
I would never actually fuck a duck. I mean,
86
00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:20,562
I can't even find the hole where the eggs
87
00:03:20,562 --> 00:03:21,897
come out... I mean, I can
find it, but I don't think
88
00:03:21,897 --> 00:03:23,498
you could even get a finger in there.
89
00:03:23,498 --> 00:03:24,666
Hands on your head, asshole!
90
00:03:24,666 --> 00:03:25,834
Okay look, look.
91
00:03:25,834 --> 00:03:27,069
You don't have to do this.
92
00:03:27,069 --> 00:03:28,370
This is just a big misunderstanding, okay?
93
00:03:28,370 --> 00:03:29,938
Haven't you ever made a mistake?
94
00:03:29,938 --> 00:03:31,606
As a matter of fact, I have.
95
00:03:31,606 --> 00:03:33,809
Oh!
96
00:03:33,809 --> 00:03:35,811
Oh, you're a ghost.
97
00:03:35,811 --> 00:03:37,512
Hey look, I can get in
a lot of trouble here.
98
00:03:37,512 --> 00:03:38,714
This is not the time or the place
99
00:03:38,714 --> 00:03:39,815
for a big, elaborate backstory.
100
00:03:39,815 --> 00:03:43,251
The year was 1989.
101
00:03:43,251 --> 00:03:44,553
I was hot on the trail
102
00:03:44,553 --> 00:03:46,288
of the most dangerous psychopath
103
00:03:46,288 --> 00:03:48,390
this city's ever seen.
104
00:03:48,390 --> 00:03:49,891
A serial killer?
105
00:03:49,891 --> 00:03:51,927
- A serial flasher.
- Oh.
106
00:03:51,927 --> 00:03:53,528
Needless to say, the guy left
107
00:03:53,528 --> 00:03:56,498
a bad taste in my mouth.
108
00:03:56,498 --> 00:03:57,566
And you guys never caught him?
109
00:03:57,566 --> 00:03:58,967
We thought we did.
110
00:03:58,967 --> 00:04:00,369
My partner Frank and I were working
111
00:04:00,369 --> 00:04:01,470
around the clock.
112
00:04:01,470 --> 00:04:02,704
After months of dead ends,
113
00:04:02,704 --> 00:04:05,040
we landed on the doorstep of a man
114
00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:07,275
named Johnny Penis.
115
00:04:07,275 --> 00:04:09,277
('80s synthesizer music)
116
00:04:09,277 --> 00:04:10,545
Wait, wait. Months?
117
00:04:10,545 --> 00:04:11,880
I would think with a name like Penis
118
00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:13,382
he would have been a suspect immediately.
119
00:04:13,382 --> 00:04:14,883
Don't interrupt a flashback, man!
120
00:04:14,883 --> 00:04:15,951
It's fucking rude!
121
00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:17,819
Yeah, I'm sorry, I hate that.
122
00:04:17,819 --> 00:04:21,456
123
00:04:21,456 --> 00:04:24,292
I kicked in the door on a hunch.
124
00:04:24,292 --> 00:04:25,694
- Freeze, asshole!
- Oh, woah!
125
00:04:25,694 --> 00:04:27,362
Take it easy, fellas.
126
00:04:27,362 --> 00:04:29,865
Don't move a muscle!
127
00:04:29,865 --> 00:04:31,266
I just gotta tighten my robe.
128
00:04:31,266 --> 00:04:32,667
I said fucking freeze!
129
00:04:32,667 --> 00:04:34,469
You... watch the language, fella!
130
00:04:34,469 --> 00:04:37,506
We got kids here!
131
00:04:37,506 --> 00:04:39,341
Keep those hands where we can see 'em.
132
00:04:39,341 --> 00:04:40,776
You got me just right
out of the shower, let...
133
00:04:40,776 --> 00:04:42,344
You think we're fucking around?
134
00:04:42,344 --> 00:04:44,012
You don't wanna see my penis, do you?
135
00:04:44,012 --> 00:04:46,281
Last warning motherfucker!
136
00:04:46,281 --> 00:04:47,783
137
00:04:47,783 --> 00:04:50,385
(gunfire)
138
00:04:52,954 --> 00:04:55,557
139
00:04:55,557 --> 00:04:58,794
(gunfire)
140
00:05:02,931 --> 00:05:05,333
He didn't leave us much of a choice.
141
00:05:05,333 --> 00:05:07,469
No...
142
00:05:07,469 --> 00:05:10,505
Frank and I got medals and promotions.
143
00:05:10,505 --> 00:05:12,307
We were heroes.
144
00:05:12,307 --> 00:05:15,510
And the city felt safe again.
145
00:05:15,510 --> 00:05:17,879
That is, until it started back up.
146
00:05:17,879 --> 00:05:18,914
The flashing?
147
00:05:18,914 --> 00:05:21,650
Not just the flashing.
148
00:05:21,650 --> 00:05:23,585
The photos.
149
00:05:23,585 --> 00:05:25,687
The sick bastard used to take Polaroids
150
00:05:25,687 --> 00:05:27,322
of his victims' reactions.
151
00:05:27,322 --> 00:05:29,057
- No!
- Yeah.
152
00:05:29,057 --> 00:05:30,826
Frank wrote it off as a copycock.
153
00:05:30,826 --> 00:05:34,826
But something about it rubbed me off wrong.
154
00:05:35,497 --> 00:05:37,566
Did we catch the right guy?
155
00:05:37,566 --> 00:05:39,568
Unfortunately, I died
156
00:05:39,568 --> 00:05:40,836
before I could ever be sure.
157
00:05:40,836 --> 00:05:42,771
Okay, I get it, I get it.
158
00:05:42,771 --> 00:05:44,372
Your obsession with this case is what
159
00:05:44,372 --> 00:05:46,308
ultimately led to your demise, right?
160
00:05:46,308 --> 00:05:47,409
No.
161
00:05:47,409 --> 00:05:48,743
Motorcycle accident.
162
00:05:48,743 --> 00:05:50,445
163
00:05:50,445 --> 00:05:51,913
(engine squeals to life)
164
00:05:51,913 --> 00:05:53,615
165
00:05:53,615 --> 00:05:55,984
(explosion)
166
00:05:57,853 --> 00:06:00,422
Precinct had the worst
fucking mechanic back then.
167
00:06:00,422 --> 00:06:03,458
Well, maybe I can help you solve this case?
168
00:06:03,458 --> 00:06:05,861
Forget it, asshole, I only work alone.
169
00:06:05,861 --> 00:06:07,929
What? What about Frank?
170
00:06:09,598 --> 00:06:10,999
Fine. I just said that
because I don't want...
171
00:06:10,999 --> 00:06:12,701
- ... to work with you.
- Hey, like it or not,
172
00:06:12,701 --> 00:06:14,469
you need a living person
to solve this case,
173
00:06:14,469 --> 00:06:15,804
and I'm the only one who can see you.
174
00:06:15,804 --> 00:06:17,305
All right? And I need a ghost to help me
175
00:06:17,305 --> 00:06:18,640
get my girlfriend's finger out of
176
00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:19,674
this evidence room, and you're the only one
177
00:06:19,674 --> 00:06:21,309
who can get me in there.
178
00:06:21,309 --> 00:06:22,277
So it looks like we might be
179
00:06:22,277 --> 00:06:24,880
stuck together, partner.
180
00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:26,648
All right.
181
00:06:26,648 --> 00:06:28,850
- I got two rules, asshole.
- Hold, wait a minute.
182
00:06:28,850 --> 00:06:30,385
That's not, like, my new nickname, is it?
183
00:06:30,385 --> 00:06:31,887
First, don't call me partner.
184
00:06:31,887 --> 00:06:33,488
Okay, got it.
185
00:06:33,488 --> 00:06:35,590
And second, don't you dare embarrass me.
186
00:06:35,590 --> 00:06:37,025
I would never.
187
00:06:37,025 --> 00:06:39,294
Hey! What are you doing down here?
188
00:06:39,294 --> 00:06:41,630
I don't know. I'm lost and scared.
189
00:06:41,630 --> 00:06:42,831
Well, we're ready for you now.
190
00:06:42,831 --> 00:06:43,965
Okay.
191
00:06:43,965 --> 00:06:46,034
Give me a minute, partner.
192
00:06:46,034 --> 00:06:49,971
193
00:06:55,722 --> 00:06:57,724
Detective Frank Powell?
194
00:06:57,724 --> 00:07:00,493
It's Chief Powell. Who the hell are you?
195
00:07:00,493 --> 00:07:02,762
Uh, I am Officer
Pacalioglu at your service.
196
00:07:02,762 --> 00:07:04,197
Uh!
197
00:07:04,197 --> 00:07:05,432
Jesus Christ, you're the stripper cop.
198
00:07:05,432 --> 00:07:06,766
How the fuck did you get in here?
199
00:07:06,766 --> 00:07:08,568
No, I'm not a stripper cop.
200
00:07:08,568 --> 00:07:10,070
I'm a medium, and I'm here
201
00:07:10,070 --> 00:07:14,074
with the ghost of your ex-partner Max.
202
00:07:14,074 --> 00:07:15,141
Max?
203
00:07:15,141 --> 00:07:17,444
Yeah, he's right here.
204
00:07:21,081 --> 00:07:22,582
You got one minute.
205
00:07:22,582 --> 00:07:24,117
Okay, that's all we need.
206
00:07:24,117 --> 00:07:27,287
We want to bust an old case wide open.
207
00:07:27,287 --> 00:07:29,122
What case?
208
00:07:29,122 --> 00:07:30,423
The Polaroid flasher.
209
00:07:30,423 --> 00:07:32,592
The Polaroid flasher.
210
00:07:32,592 --> 00:07:34,561
Jesus Christ, Max!
211
00:07:34,561 --> 00:07:36,162
You just can't let that thing go, can you?
212
00:07:36,162 --> 00:07:37,330
We caught the guy!
213
00:07:37,330 --> 00:07:38,131
We didn't find one Polaroid
214
00:07:38,131 --> 00:07:39,566
on Johnny Penis.
215
00:07:39,566 --> 00:07:40,767
And remind him there's been new victims.
216
00:07:40,767 --> 00:07:41,801
Max wants me to remind you
217
00:07:41,801 --> 00:07:43,069
there's been new victims.
218
00:07:43,069 --> 00:07:44,804
No, there's been copycocks.
219
00:07:44,804 --> 00:07:46,272
- Yeah, but they...
- All right?
220
00:07:46,272 --> 00:07:48,074
None of these new victims could pick
221
00:07:48,074 --> 00:07:49,309
a penis out of the lineup.
222
00:07:49,309 --> 00:07:50,810
- None of them!
- Wait.
223
00:07:50,810 --> 00:07:52,045
You guys actually did that?
224
00:07:52,045 --> 00:07:52,712
I'm gonna have to ask you
225
00:07:52,712 --> 00:07:54,414
to leave, stripper cop.
226
00:07:54,414 --> 00:07:56,016
Hey, I'm just tryin' to help with Max, man.
227
00:07:56,016 --> 00:07:58,385
- You know, we're jamming!
- Max is dead.
228
00:07:58,385 --> 00:08:01,254
Okay? And this case is closed.
229
00:08:01,254 --> 00:08:03,223
Now you can take your booty cheeks
230
00:08:03,223 --> 00:08:06,359
and clap them together somewhere else.
231
00:08:06,359 --> 00:08:07,594
I'm sorry. I feel like I
232
00:08:07,594 --> 00:08:09,262
really let you down up there, Max.
233
00:08:09,262 --> 00:08:11,231
26th West 30th Street.
234
00:08:11,231 --> 00:08:13,366
What's that? A good s'mizza place?
235
00:08:13,366 --> 00:08:15,402
It's the address of the last victim.
236
00:08:15,402 --> 00:08:17,404
I saw it in the file
before Frank humiliated you
237
00:08:17,404 --> 00:08:19,639
with that booty clap comment.
238
00:08:19,639 --> 00:08:21,307
I say we go pay her a visit.
239
00:08:21,307 --> 00:08:22,809
Yeah!
240
00:08:22,809 --> 00:08:24,677
Hey! That's not how we roll.
241
00:08:26,146 --> 00:08:28,381
Holy shit. Sweet ride!
242
00:08:28,381 --> 00:08:29,516
Hop in, asshole!
243
00:08:29,516 --> 00:08:31,117
Yeah, can do!
244
00:08:31,117 --> 00:08:34,220
245
00:08:34,220 --> 00:08:35,688
All right, let's do this!
246
00:08:35,688 --> 00:08:37,024
(tires squealing)
247
00:08:37,168 --> 00:08:38,936
248
00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:40,538
I wish I could help you identify him,
249
00:08:40,538 --> 00:08:42,173
but he held the Polaroid camera
250
00:08:42,173 --> 00:08:44,842
directly in front of his face.
251
00:08:44,842 --> 00:08:47,311
He's a smart fucker, I'll give him that.
252
00:08:47,311 --> 00:08:49,513
Covers his face, flashes the damn camera
253
00:08:49,513 --> 00:08:51,248
right in his victim's eyes.
254
00:08:51,248 --> 00:08:53,317
Ma'am, I'm not interested in the face.
255
00:08:53,317 --> 00:08:55,986
Let's get into the meat of this, shall we?
256
00:08:55,986 --> 00:08:58,155
White?
257
00:08:58,155 --> 00:09:01,158
Black?
258
00:09:01,158 --> 00:09:02,793
Asian?
259
00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:04,295
I'd say white?
260
00:09:04,295 --> 00:09:05,563
You'd say white?
261
00:09:05,563 --> 00:09:07,264
It had a healthy glow to it.
262
00:09:07,264 --> 00:09:08,866
I see, okay.
263
00:09:08,866 --> 00:09:10,534
- Circumsized?
- No.
264
00:09:10,534 --> 00:09:12,102
It was a hooded hell hound.
265
00:09:12,102 --> 00:09:13,404
Mhm. Any curve to it?
266
00:09:13,404 --> 00:09:14,872
A little to the left.
267
00:09:14,872 --> 00:09:15,873
Veins?
268
00:09:15,873 --> 00:09:16,874
A few, on the side.
269
00:09:16,874 --> 00:09:18,042
Pube pattern?
270
00:09:18,042 --> 00:09:19,276
Freshly groomed.
271
00:09:19,276 --> 00:09:20,444
Like it had seen a trimmer
272
00:09:20,444 --> 00:09:24,048
that very morning.
273
00:09:24,048 --> 00:09:25,049
How's this?
274
00:09:25,049 --> 00:09:26,116
Oh, God!
275
00:09:26,116 --> 00:09:28,118
Oh, God. That's it.
276
00:09:28,118 --> 00:09:30,120
I... I... couldn't get out of its way;
277
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:31,589
it flopped right at me!
278
00:09:31,589 --> 00:09:33,324
I need to know about the balls.
279
00:09:33,324 --> 00:09:34,391
She's had enough, man.
280
00:09:34,391 --> 00:09:36,393
Ask her about the balls!
281
00:09:36,393 --> 00:09:37,895
Ma'am, the ball placement?
282
00:09:37,895 --> 00:09:39,363
No, please, I can't take anymore.
283
00:09:39,363 --> 00:09:40,431
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
- I need to know!
284
00:09:40,431 --> 00:09:41,932
Okay. Stay with me!
285
00:09:41,932 --> 00:09:43,400
Focus up and describe
286
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,135
those dangly bastards to me.
287
00:09:45,135 --> 00:09:48,205
Oh, they were swinging.
288
00:09:48,205 --> 00:09:50,140
Ugh, I can still hear them slapping
289
00:09:50,140 --> 00:09:51,475
against his mid-thigh.
290
00:09:51,475 --> 00:09:53,244
- Mhm.
- All right?
291
00:09:53,244 --> 00:09:55,279
- Are you happy now?
- No!
292
00:09:55,279 --> 00:09:56,780
I didn't want you to cry!
293
00:09:56,780 --> 00:10:00,417
Aw, come... was that really necessary?
294
00:10:00,417 --> 00:10:01,952
- Mid-thigh.
- What?
295
00:10:01,952 --> 00:10:03,988
That testicular drooping is as consistent
296
00:10:03,988 --> 00:10:06,056
with a man in his mid-fifties.
297
00:10:06,056 --> 00:10:07,758
The exact age the Polaroid flasher
298
00:10:07,758 --> 00:10:09,460
would be if he were alive today.
299
00:10:09,460 --> 00:10:11,862
Holy shit.
300
00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:13,998
Are we hot on the trail of something?
301
00:10:13,998 --> 00:10:15,432
Unfortunately, we're fresh out of leads.
302
00:10:15,432 --> 00:10:16,934
Aw, fuck it.
303
00:10:16,934 --> 00:10:18,869
We've got nothing but droopy balls
304
00:10:18,869 --> 00:10:21,272
and a camera owned by
every family in the city.
305
00:10:21,272 --> 00:10:22,806
What, uh, the Polaroid?
306
00:10:22,806 --> 00:10:24,909
No, no, no, nobody uses
the Polaroid anymore.
307
00:10:24,909 --> 00:10:26,944
But he's still buying film. How?
308
00:10:26,944 --> 00:10:28,045
On the internet, probably?
309
00:10:28,045 --> 00:10:29,346
The what?
310
00:10:29,346 --> 00:10:31,882
Right, there was no internet back then!
311
00:10:31,882 --> 00:10:33,183
And a man in his fifties might
312
00:10:33,183 --> 00:10:35,352
wanna do things the old fashioned way.
313
00:10:35,352 --> 00:10:36,520
There's only one place in town I know
314
00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:38,222
that still sells Polaroid film.
315
00:10:38,222 --> 00:10:40,157
Right next to my favorite s'mizza parlor.
316
00:10:40,157 --> 00:10:41,892
Take me there, asshole.
317
00:10:41,892 --> 00:10:43,994
I think I'm starting to like that nickname.
318
00:10:43,994 --> 00:10:48,365
319
00:10:48,365 --> 00:10:49,934
(loudly clears throat)
320
00:10:49,934 --> 00:10:53,103
321
00:10:53,103 --> 00:10:54,939
Vintage Polaroid 600 film.
322
00:10:54,939 --> 00:10:56,173
You carry it?
323
00:10:56,173 --> 00:10:57,508
It's not cheap.
324
00:10:57,508 --> 00:10:59,076
Sounds like our suspect has some cash
325
00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:01,378
to throw around these days.
326
00:11:01,378 --> 00:11:02,913
My partner and I are going to need the name
327
00:11:02,913 --> 00:11:04,081
and address of everybody who's bought
328
00:11:04,081 --> 00:11:05,449
that film in the past...
329
00:11:05,449 --> 00:11:07,017
- Ten years.
- Ten years.
330
00:11:07,017 --> 00:11:08,085
You ever hear of
331
00:11:08,085 --> 00:11:09,553
camera-customer confidentiality?
332
00:11:09,553 --> 00:11:10,554
Oh, shit, is that a thing?
333
00:11:10,554 --> 00:11:12,256
Is he making that up?
334
00:11:12,256 --> 00:11:14,158
Slam this motherfucker's
head against the counter!
335
00:11:14,158 --> 00:11:15,826
Yeah, what do I do? Just
grab him by the ears?
336
00:11:15,826 --> 00:11:17,761
- By the fucking neck?
- The moment's gone, now.
337
00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:18,862
But I'm like in the middle of doin' it!
338
00:11:18,862 --> 00:11:20,497
I'm calling the cops.
339
00:11:20,497 --> 00:11:21,799
No you're not, 'cause they're already here,
340
00:11:21,799 --> 00:11:22,900
butterface!
341
00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:24,335
All right. Take it easy.
342
00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:25,502
I'll just run in the back
343
00:11:25,502 --> 00:11:27,871
and grab the books, right now.
344
00:11:27,871 --> 00:11:30,341
You get the books, and then I'll relax.
345
00:11:32,843 --> 00:11:35,312
So, uh, when do I get my gun, partner?
346
00:11:35,312 --> 00:11:36,981
Never. And you really need
347
00:11:36,981 --> 00:11:38,849
to stop referring to us as partners.
348
00:11:38,849 --> 00:11:40,484
This is a classic partner quarrel.
349
00:11:40,484 --> 00:11:41,986
We're strangers.
350
00:11:41,986 --> 00:11:44,088
We do this one job and we're done.
351
00:11:44,088 --> 00:11:45,522
Don't think I'm gonna sit here
352
00:11:45,522 --> 00:11:47,191
and open up to you
353
00:11:47,191 --> 00:11:49,193
about my lesbian ex-wife.
354
00:11:49,193 --> 00:11:51,996
That never crossed my mind.
355
00:11:51,996 --> 00:11:53,297
Bitch.
356
00:11:53,297 --> 00:11:54,865
No, I thought we'd start small, you know?
357
00:11:54,865 --> 00:11:56,100
Like, what's your favorite kind of candy?
358
00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:57,368
Got you pegged as a Kit Kat guy.
359
00:11:57,368 --> 00:11:58,869
- Give me a break.
- Turkish delight?
360
00:11:58,869 --> 00:12:00,170
- You start...
- Watermelon nerds?
361
00:12:00,170 --> 00:12:01,372
You start talking about personal stuff
362
00:12:01,372 --> 00:12:03,240
and you're not focusing, all right?
363
00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:07,177
- You miss shit.
- What kinda shit?
364
00:12:07,177 --> 00:12:08,212
Oh, clerk!
365
00:12:08,212 --> 00:12:09,380
God!
366
00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:13,117
Ah, damn it!
367
00:12:13,117 --> 00:12:14,451
Oh, well.
368
00:12:14,451 --> 00:12:15,886
I'm sure we'll find another lead.
369
00:12:15,886 --> 00:12:16,987
Chase him!
370
00:12:16,987 --> 00:12:18,322
It seems pretty fruitless now,
371
00:12:18,322 --> 00:12:19,857
I mean, he's like halfway down the...
372
00:12:19,857 --> 00:12:23,260
373
00:12:23,260 --> 00:12:24,862
Oh, uh-uh.
374
00:12:24,862 --> 00:12:27,865
375
00:12:27,865 --> 00:12:28,999
Sorry for your loss!
376
00:12:28,999 --> 00:12:32,999
377
00:12:36,507 --> 00:12:37,474
You better start talking,
378
00:12:37,474 --> 00:12:39,443
or I start stompin'!
379
00:12:39,443 --> 00:12:40,511
Go ahead.
380
00:12:40,511 --> 00:12:41,945
This is a vintage store.
381
00:12:41,945 --> 00:12:43,781
This shit's all broken anyway.
382
00:12:43,781 --> 00:12:45,249
Do you have any camera bags?
383
00:12:45,249 --> 00:12:46,550
Oh, on the back wall.
384
00:12:46,550 --> 00:12:48,185
To the left.
385
00:12:49,186 --> 00:12:50,888
It's back there.
386
00:12:50,888 --> 00:12:51,955
Time to turn up the heat.
387
00:12:51,955 --> 00:12:53,323
Fuck yeah.
388
00:12:55,225 --> 00:12:56,960
Woah, okay, okay. I'll talk.
389
00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:59,163
Really? Just like that?
390
00:12:59,163 --> 00:13:00,297
Yes.
391
00:13:00,297 --> 00:13:01,398
I can't afford to be closed
392
00:13:01,398 --> 00:13:02,299
in the middle of the day.
393
00:13:02,299 --> 00:13:03,567
Are you fucking crazy?
394
00:13:03,567 --> 00:13:04,902
Yeah, let me think about that.
395
00:13:04,902 --> 00:13:06,370
Yes I'm fucking crazy!
396
00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:07,905
I'm fucking nuts.
397
00:13:07,905 --> 00:13:09,573
- We want some names.
- We want some names!
398
00:13:09,573 --> 00:13:11,341
Well, there's this one guy...
399
00:13:11,341 --> 00:13:13,010
There's this one guy!
400
00:13:13,010 --> 00:13:14,211
- There's this one guy...
- One guy!
401
00:13:14,211 --> 00:13:15,345
One guy who keeps buying
402
00:13:15,345 --> 00:13:17,381
a lot of Polaroid 600 stock.
403
00:13:17,381 --> 00:13:19,983
Oh yeah?
404
00:13:19,983 --> 00:13:23,320
Let me ask you something.
405
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:26,890
Dick look anything like this?
406
00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,358
Let me jog your memory.
407
00:13:28,358 --> 00:13:30,127
What's his dick look like, fuckface?
408
00:13:30,127 --> 00:13:32,329
I... I... I don't know.
409
00:13:32,329 --> 00:13:35,866
I just know his name is, uh, Barry.
410
00:13:35,866 --> 00:13:38,068
That's a good start.
411
00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:39,403
Weinberger...
412
00:13:39,403 --> 00:13:40,904
Oh, you're still going, that's great.
413
00:13:40,904 --> 00:13:42,906
... stein.
414
00:13:42,906 --> 00:13:44,475
Sorry, did you just say
Barry Weinbergerstein?
415
00:13:44,475 --> 00:13:46,443
- Yeah.
- You know him?
416
00:13:46,443 --> 00:13:49,813
Holy shit, yeah, I know him.
417
00:13:49,813 --> 00:13:51,115
He's the fucking president of...
418
00:13:51,115 --> 00:13:52,416
The president is a Jew?
419
00:13:52,416 --> 00:13:54,184
What? No. Worse.
420
00:13:54,184 --> 00:13:55,486
A woman?
421
00:13:55,486 --> 00:13:56,520
No, I didn't mean worse like that.
422
00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:58,155
I meant...
423
00:13:58,155 --> 00:13:59,556
This is bigger than any political scandal
424
00:13:59,556 --> 00:14:00,958
you could ever think of.
425
00:14:00,958 --> 00:14:02,159
This could shake up the entire
426
00:14:02,159 --> 00:14:03,927
reality entertainment industry.
427
00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:06,130
Barry Weinbergerstein
428
00:14:06,130 --> 00:14:07,865
is the President of Alt TV.
429
00:14:07,865 --> 00:14:11,135
The president of all TV?
430
00:14:11,135 --> 00:14:12,503
(stuttering)
431
00:14:12,503 --> 00:14:15,506
Would that raise the stakes for you?
432
00:14:15,506 --> 00:14:16,807
Fuck yeah.
433
00:14:16,807 --> 00:14:18,142
Then sure, yeah, that's him.
434
00:14:21,112 --> 00:14:23,114
435
00:14:23,114 --> 00:14:25,116
This goes all the way to the top...
436
00:14:25,116 --> 00:14:26,617
of reality TV.
437
00:14:26,617 --> 00:14:28,653
Who the fuck keeps letting stripper cop in?
438
00:14:28,653 --> 00:14:30,388
Listen to me, Frank. The Polaroid flasher
439
00:14:30,388 --> 00:14:31,689
is still out there.
440
00:14:31,689 --> 00:14:33,157
Max and I discovered his true identity.
441
00:14:33,157 --> 00:14:35,660
Look, let me stop you right there, okay?
442
00:14:35,660 --> 00:14:38,296
I need to make something
really clear to you.
443
00:14:38,296 --> 00:14:40,631
If I catch you playing
cop in my city again,
444
00:14:40,631 --> 00:14:42,700
I'm gonna have you arrested, locked up...
445
00:14:42,700 --> 00:14:44,302
Let me guess, you're
gonna throw away the key.
446
00:14:44,302 --> 00:14:45,603
No, no!
447
00:14:45,603 --> 00:14:47,171
I'm gonna shove it up your asshole!
448
00:14:47,171 --> 00:14:48,139
That's what I'm gonna do!
449
00:14:48,139 --> 00:14:49,707
Be a big mistake, pal.
450
00:14:49,707 --> 00:14:51,309
I could eventually poop that key out
451
00:14:51,309 --> 00:14:53,678
and free myself.
452
00:14:53,678 --> 00:14:55,346
Look, this is over, stripper cop.
453
00:14:55,346 --> 00:14:57,181
Okay? Case closed.
454
00:14:57,181 --> 00:14:59,117
Now I want you to clap
your ass on out of here.
455
00:14:59,117 --> 00:15:00,518
- Get to clappin'!
- All right, I'll go!
456
00:15:00,518 --> 00:15:03,221
But you should know
one thing before I do...
457
00:15:03,221 --> 00:15:05,690
Max is disappointed in you.
458
00:15:07,125 --> 00:15:08,593
I never said that.
459
00:15:08,593 --> 00:15:10,528
You didn't have to.
460
00:15:10,528 --> 00:15:14,528
461
00:15:16,167 --> 00:15:17,368
Max, I think this is where you and I
462
00:15:17,368 --> 00:15:18,569
part ways.
463
00:15:18,569 --> 00:15:20,071
- What?
- Yeah.
464
00:15:20,071 --> 00:15:21,706
But we're so close.
465
00:15:21,706 --> 00:15:23,541
Did you hear Frank up there?
466
00:15:23,541 --> 00:15:25,076
He's gonna throw me in jail.
467
00:15:25,076 --> 00:15:26,344
If that happens, I won't be able
468
00:15:26,344 --> 00:15:28,279
to get what I need out of jail.
469
00:15:28,279 --> 00:15:30,548
And I'll have a key jammed up my ass.
470
00:15:30,548 --> 00:15:32,049
That was not part of the plan, Max.
471
00:15:32,049 --> 00:15:33,117
I'm sorry.
472
00:15:33,117 --> 00:15:34,685
It's fine.
473
00:15:34,685 --> 00:15:36,254
I was a fucking fool for thinking
474
00:15:36,254 --> 00:15:38,423
you'd ever see this through.
475
00:15:38,423 --> 00:15:40,291
- Well...
- You're not a real cop.
476
00:15:40,291 --> 00:15:41,692
That's true. I'm really not.
477
00:15:41,692 --> 00:15:43,728
You're a stripper cop.
478
00:15:43,728 --> 00:15:47,064
Well, actually, I'm not that either, uhh...
479
00:15:47,064 --> 00:15:49,434
Is this what you were looking for?
480
00:15:49,434 --> 00:15:51,436
Oh my God! Sue's finger!
481
00:15:51,436 --> 00:15:53,471
- Oh!
- Yeah.
482
00:15:53,471 --> 00:15:55,606
Go finger fuck yourself.
483
00:15:55,606 --> 00:15:59,606
484
00:16:02,346 --> 00:16:03,548
Sue?
485
00:16:03,548 --> 00:16:07,548
486
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:50,294
Is this seat taken?
487
00:16:50,294 --> 00:16:53,231
Get out of my car, you walking abortion.
488
00:16:53,231 --> 00:16:54,966
All right, I deserve that.
489
00:16:54,966 --> 00:16:56,400
It's harsh, but I deserve it.
490
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:57,969
Listen, I just want you to know,
491
00:16:57,969 --> 00:17:00,204
if you let me sit here,
I won't embarrass you,
492
00:17:00,204 --> 00:17:01,606
I will not call you partner,
493
00:17:01,606 --> 00:17:03,441
and I won't even ask you
any personal questions...
494
00:17:03,441 --> 00:17:05,243
nothing about what your favorite candy is.
495
00:17:05,243 --> 00:17:07,478
Nothing. I swear.
496
00:17:07,478 --> 00:17:08,746
Okay?
497
00:17:08,746 --> 00:17:11,215
I just wanna see this thing through.
498
00:17:11,215 --> 00:17:15,215
499
00:17:16,354 --> 00:17:17,455
Okay, asshole.
500
00:17:17,455 --> 00:17:19,223
All right.
501
00:17:19,223 --> 00:17:23,261
All right, let's get down to biz.
502
00:17:23,261 --> 00:17:24,595
Oh, there is some messed up shit
503
00:17:24,595 --> 00:17:26,531
going on up there, Barry Weinbergerstein.
504
00:17:26,531 --> 00:17:28,332
Calling all units! We just got a report.
505
00:17:28,332 --> 00:17:31,135
There's a flashing on Flushing Avenue.
506
00:17:31,135 --> 00:17:32,336
Could be any flasher.
507
00:17:32,336 --> 00:17:33,571
Suspect has a penis that curves
508
00:17:33,571 --> 00:17:35,706
slightly to the left.
509
00:17:35,706 --> 00:17:37,408
That's pretty common.
510
00:17:37,408 --> 00:17:38,743
Mine did.
511
00:17:38,743 --> 00:17:41,546
Suspect is moving south
with a Polaroid camera.
512
00:17:41,546 --> 00:17:42,647
Polaroid camera.
513
00:17:42,647 --> 00:17:44,048
Shit! That's our guy!
514
00:17:44,048 --> 00:17:45,049
Let's bust him!
515
00:17:45,049 --> 00:17:49,587
516
00:17:49,587 --> 00:17:51,355
(loud sniffing)
517
00:17:51,355 --> 00:17:55,355
518
00:17:58,229 --> 00:17:59,697
Damn it!
519
00:17:59,697 --> 00:18:02,066
Where'd I put that extra film?
520
00:18:02,066 --> 00:18:03,501
Oh yeah, that's right.
521
00:18:03,501 --> 00:18:07,501
522
00:18:09,073 --> 00:18:10,207
Cover me, partner!
523
00:18:10,207 --> 00:18:14,207
524
00:18:18,649 --> 00:18:20,051
Oh!
525
00:18:21,218 --> 00:18:22,486
526
00:18:22,486 --> 00:18:24,188
(groaning in pain)
527
00:18:24,188 --> 00:18:25,389
- You okay?
- Yeah.
528
00:18:25,389 --> 00:18:28,192
Yeah, yeah, I think so.
529
00:18:28,192 --> 00:18:29,360
Where are we?
530
00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:31,228
We found the flasher's den.
531
00:18:31,228 --> 00:18:33,130
Holy shit.
532
00:18:33,130 --> 00:18:35,633
533
00:18:35,633 --> 00:18:37,335
This one's dated yesterday.
534
00:18:37,335 --> 00:18:40,571
This must be his pube trimmer.
535
00:18:40,571 --> 00:18:41,572
It's still warm.
536
00:18:41,572 --> 00:18:42,506
He was just here.
537
00:18:42,506 --> 00:18:43,741
No.
538
00:18:43,741 --> 00:18:45,009
I'm still here.
539
00:18:45,009 --> 00:18:46,377
(camera shutter snaps)
540
00:18:46,377 --> 00:18:47,211
Woah!
541
00:18:47,211 --> 00:18:50,581
542
00:18:55,129 --> 00:18:56,831
How could you do this to me, Frank?
543
00:18:56,831 --> 00:18:59,534
Wait a second. You're the Polaroid flasher?
544
00:18:59,534 --> 00:19:01,202
Dude, seriously, you have the most
545
00:19:01,202 --> 00:19:03,938
racially ambiguous penis
I have ever sketched.
546
00:19:03,938 --> 00:19:05,306
On the count of three,
547
00:19:05,306 --> 00:19:06,908
I'm gonna slide you the pube trimmer.
548
00:19:06,908 --> 00:19:09,043
Don't hesitate, just jam it in his neck!
549
00:19:09,043 --> 00:19:12,280
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
550
00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:13,981
Why can he hear me?
551
00:19:13,981 --> 00:19:15,349
- I don't know.
- Shut up!
552
00:19:15,349 --> 00:19:16,918
Shut up. You know what?
553
00:19:16,918 --> 00:19:20,087
- I'll shut you up.
- Oh, boy.
554
00:19:20,087 --> 00:19:22,523
(grunts)
555
00:19:22,523 --> 00:19:24,425
Oh, not like that.
556
00:19:24,425 --> 00:19:26,327
What did... who the hell is that?
557
00:19:26,327 --> 00:19:28,095
That's Johnny Penis!
558
00:19:28,095 --> 00:19:29,831
That's Johnny Penis?
559
00:19:29,831 --> 00:19:31,232
Oh, he must not have gone into his light.
560
00:19:31,232 --> 00:19:32,900
Damn right, I didn't go into the light.
561
00:19:32,900 --> 00:19:34,368
You assholes shot me before I got
562
00:19:34,368 --> 00:19:36,204
the perfect reaction photo!
563
00:19:36,204 --> 00:19:37,939
And I wasn't going without it.
564
00:19:37,939 --> 00:19:40,341
Fortunately, I learned about possession.
565
00:19:40,341 --> 00:19:42,977
And after inhabiting a few dirty hobos,
566
00:19:42,977 --> 00:19:44,545
I found the perfect vessel
567
00:19:44,545 --> 00:19:46,380
to continue my crimes.
568
00:19:46,380 --> 00:19:48,249
A decorated cop.
569
00:19:48,249 --> 00:19:50,518
Who got blackout drunk every night.
570
00:19:50,518 --> 00:19:51,953
I'm taking you down
571
00:19:51,953 --> 00:19:54,021
once and for all, Johnny Penis.
572
00:19:54,021 --> 00:19:56,257
Looks like we finally
got our man, huh, partner?
573
00:19:56,257 --> 00:19:58,092
Yeah, I'm still not really
comfortable with that.
574
00:19:58,092 --> 00:19:59,861
That's okay, yeah, it was a little early.
575
00:19:59,861 --> 00:20:02,930
Hey, what... what's going on?
576
00:20:02,930 --> 00:20:04,365
Uh, it's a little hard to explain.
577
00:20:04,365 --> 00:20:06,033
You had Penis inside you.
578
00:20:06,033 --> 00:20:08,135
I had Penis inside me?
579
00:20:08,135 --> 00:20:09,470
That's it, stripper cop!
580
00:20:09,470 --> 00:20:11,539
- You're under arrest.
- Me? No! What?
581
00:20:11,539 --> 00:20:15,209
582
00:20:15,209 --> 00:20:18,312
Oh, shit.
583
00:20:18,312 --> 00:20:20,014
I'm walkin' outta here.
584
00:20:20,014 --> 00:20:21,282
Don't try and stop me.
585
00:20:21,282 --> 00:20:25,282
586
00:20:28,456 --> 00:20:31,893
Say cheese, asshole!
587
00:20:31,893 --> 00:20:33,160
Yeah!
588
00:20:34,362 --> 00:20:36,998
It's over, Johnny Penis.
589
00:20:36,998 --> 00:20:38,933
You've been clipped.
590
00:20:38,933 --> 00:20:42,803
- Nice!
- Oh my God.
591
00:20:42,803 --> 00:20:44,272
That face!
592
00:20:44,272 --> 00:20:46,007
Surprised.
593
00:20:46,007 --> 00:20:48,843
Disgusted.
594
00:20:48,843 --> 00:20:50,278
And yet intrigued.
595
00:20:50,278 --> 00:20:53,047
I wouldn't say intrigued...
596
00:20:53,047 --> 00:20:55,883
It's the perfect reaction photo.
597
00:20:55,883 --> 00:20:57,251
It's the... it's the perfect
598
00:20:57,251 --> 00:20:58,819
reaction photo!
599
00:20:58,819 --> 00:21:01,556
600
00:21:01,556 --> 00:21:04,158
(both breathing heavily)
601
00:21:04,158 --> 00:21:06,861
602
00:21:06,861 --> 00:21:08,296
- Hey, Pac.
- Yeah?
603
00:21:08,296 --> 00:21:11,399
Good & Plenty, that's my favorite candy.
604
00:21:11,399 --> 00:21:12,833
Really?
605
00:21:12,833 --> 00:21:15,002
Those are fucking gross.
606
00:21:15,002 --> 00:21:19,002
607
00:21:24,245 --> 00:21:26,047
Case closed.
608
00:21:27,415 --> 00:21:31,218
- What happened?
- There you go.
609
00:21:31,218 --> 00:21:34,522
You saved me from myself.
610
00:21:34,522 --> 00:21:35,790
I did.
611
00:21:35,790 --> 00:21:36,958
Good job, stripper cop.
612
00:21:36,958 --> 00:21:38,159
Thank you.
613
00:21:38,159 --> 00:21:41,395
Good job!
614
00:21:41,395 --> 00:21:42,964
I gotta stop drinking so much.
615
00:21:42,964 --> 00:21:43,998
Ha!
616
00:21:43,998 --> 00:21:45,266
I'll drink to that.
617
00:21:45,266 --> 00:21:46,901
You buyin'?
618
00:21:46,901 --> 00:21:48,769
619
00:21:49,870 --> 00:21:54,870
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
620
00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:59,470
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
40209
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Portuguese
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
