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1
00:00:01,202 --> 00:00:04,474
(Mysterious theme playing)
2
00:00:04,475 --> 00:00:06,345
Can you say "newspaper"?
3
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(Speaking gibberish)
4
00:00:08,016 --> 00:00:10,385
No, that sounds like "newsraper."
5
00:00:10,386 --> 00:00:12,423
- Say "news."
- News.
6
00:00:12,424 --> 00:00:13,726
- "Paper."
- Raper.
7
00:00:13,727 --> 00:00:15,363
Nah, it still sounds like "raper."
8
00:00:15,364 --> 00:00:16,698
Ah, you know what? I got an idea.
9
00:00:16,699 --> 00:00:18,334
Let's try something else. Look at this.
10
00:00:18,335 --> 00:00:20,105
- Can you say "peach"?
- Peach.
11
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Peach. You said it. Do you want it?
12
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Do you want to eat the peach?
13
00:00:25,182 --> 00:00:27,352
All right, here we go.
14
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(Gobbling) Oh, my gosh.
15
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(Chuckles)
16
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You devoured that thing.
17
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Oh, I wish I had more
peaches. That was my lunch.
18
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Customer. Bye.
19
00:00:39,143 --> 00:00:40,645
Hi.
20
00:00:40,646 --> 00:00:42,382
You're the guy who gets rid of ghosts?
21
00:00:42,383 --> 00:00:45,154
Um, I deal with ghosts, yeah.
22
00:00:45,155 --> 00:00:46,489
Okay, look, I have a gig for you.
23
00:00:46,490 --> 00:00:48,226
My father just died, and I found out
24
00:00:48,227 --> 00:00:50,165
that he was keeping a
secret apartment in midtown.
25
00:00:50,166 --> 00:00:51,399
And I would like to hold onto it.
26
00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:53,403
- The secret?
- No, the apartment.
27
00:00:53,404 --> 00:00:55,507
- Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- It's in great location,
28
00:00:55,508 --> 00:00:58,212
it's rent controlled. The only problem is
29
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I went in there and there was this, like,
30
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evil cackling coming from inside the walls.
31
00:01:02,155 --> 00:01:04,524
Yeah, okay. Had you told any jokes?
32
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Uh, no.
33
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Maybe it was a nervous laughter.
34
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Right. Look, it doesn't matter.
35
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If you could just look into
it, that would be top-notch.
36
00:01:11,706 --> 00:01:14,111
- You got it. Yeah.
- Here's the address.
37
00:01:14,112 --> 00:01:16,383
The manager will let you
in. Tell him I sent you.
38
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And, uh, that'll be it.
39
00:01:18,420 --> 00:01:20,523
Let me know when you find
something and we can talk money.
40
00:01:20,524 --> 00:01:22,527
Oh, yeah, before you take off,
41
00:01:22,528 --> 00:01:24,532
do you want a candy bar
or something? I got...
42
00:01:24,533 --> 00:01:26,267
No, no. This looks terrible.
43
00:01:26,268 --> 00:01:28,072
Okay, well, to each their zone.
44
00:01:30,477 --> 00:01:33,082
(Upbeat theme playing)
45
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?Synced & Corrected by Seppuku17?
?www.addic7ed.com?
46
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(Mysterious theme playing)
47
00:02:06,748 --> 00:02:10,254
Well, thank you for letting
me in, Mr. Mosalata.
48
00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:12,190
Please. Taro.
49
00:02:12,191 --> 00:02:14,529
So Jeremy said his dad rented this place.
50
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- Did you know him?
- Nah, never met him.
51
00:02:17,169 --> 00:02:19,706
He'd been here for 40 years or something.
52
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Well before I started.
53
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What about paying rent?
54
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Every month a rent check
would slip through the vent
55
00:02:26,319 --> 00:02:27,889
and land on my table.
56
00:02:27,890 --> 00:02:31,797
Until about three months ago
when the rent checks stopped.
57
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So I came up to check on the guy,
58
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- make sure he wasn't dead.
- Sure, yeah, yeah.
59
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He didn't answer, so I let myself in.
60
00:02:40,514 --> 00:02:42,484
But it was just...
61
00:02:42,485 --> 00:02:44,923
like this.
62
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Like no one had been here in decades.
63
00:02:48,529 --> 00:02:51,769
Well, I can see why Jeremy
liked the place so much.
64
00:02:51,770 --> 00:02:54,473
- Well, I'll leave you to it.
- Yeah, thanks, Terry.
65
00:02:54,474 --> 00:02:56,713
- Taro.
- Uh, yeah.
66
00:02:58,249 --> 00:02:59,852
(Shivers)
67
00:03:01,322 --> 00:03:04,828
(Grunting)
68
00:03:04,829 --> 00:03:06,296
Well, that's stuck.
69
00:03:06,297 --> 00:03:09,437
Gotta be a he-man or something.
70
00:03:09,438 --> 00:03:11,407
(Bird squawking)
71
00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:12,777
"Herro"?
72
00:03:15,783 --> 00:03:17,753
What about this guy?
73
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Oh, it's hinged to the...
74
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(door creaks)
75
00:03:26,938 --> 00:03:29,509
Oh.
76
00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:31,546
Awesome.
77
00:03:31,547 --> 00:03:33,852
(Mysterious theme playing)
78
00:03:37,459 --> 00:03:39,496
Oh, cool.
79
00:03:39,497 --> 00:03:41,300
(Gasps)
80
00:03:43,738 --> 00:03:45,975
That's awesome. (Laughing)
81
00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:48,680
Whoa.
82
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Parrot: Herro.
83
00:03:50,351 --> 00:03:52,889
Hey. That's my line.
84
00:03:52,890 --> 00:03:54,858
What is this place, huh?
85
00:03:54,859 --> 00:03:57,397
It's my office.
86
00:03:57,398 --> 00:03:59,768
Uh, who are you?
87
00:03:59,769 --> 00:04:02,941
Announcer: Master inventor, Rube Goldberg,
88
00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:06,449
perfected the art of
creating complicated machines
89
00:04:06,450 --> 00:04:09,287
built only to complete a simple task.
90
00:04:09,288 --> 00:04:12,460
His intention was to
point out man's capacity
91
00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:16,801
for exerting maximum effort
to accomplish minimum results.
92
00:04:16,802 --> 00:04:19,808
Rube Goldberg.
93
00:04:19,809 --> 00:04:22,546
- Now do you know who I am?
- Yes. Yeah.
94
00:04:22,547 --> 00:04:24,517
Obviously you are the guy who invented
95
00:04:24,518 --> 00:04:25,919
all those Rube Goldberg machines.
96
00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:27,289
Close enough.
97
00:04:27,290 --> 00:04:29,394
(Mysterious theme playing)
98
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,452
Whoa-ho-ho. Well done, sir.
99
00:04:42,453 --> 00:04:43,888
(Chuckles)
100
00:04:43,889 --> 00:04:47,295
Hi. Uh, sorry, my name is Kevin Pacalioglu.
101
00:04:47,296 --> 00:04:49,866
I've been waiting for
someone like you, Kevin.
102
00:04:49,867 --> 00:04:52,705
I've been waiting for the past 40 years.
103
00:04:52,706 --> 00:04:54,508
- I need your help.
- With what?
104
00:04:54,509 --> 00:04:56,914
Finishing one final machine.
105
00:04:56,915 --> 00:05:00,915
The greatest Rube Goldberg
machine of all time.
106
00:05:07,368 --> 00:05:09,371
(Mysterious theme playing)
107
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,483
Jeremy: My grandfather?
108
00:05:15,484 --> 00:05:18,623
Yeah. Yeah, apparently this
was Rube's secret office.
109
00:05:18,624 --> 00:05:20,727
He put it under your dad's name
so no one would bother him.
110
00:05:20,728 --> 00:05:22,062
Your dad didn't even know.
111
00:05:22,063 --> 00:05:24,501
Wait, Rube Goldberg died in the 1970s.
112
00:05:24,502 --> 00:05:26,638
How does a ghost pay rent for 40 years?
113
00:05:26,639 --> 00:05:28,542
That's the coolest part. Rodrigo here
114
00:05:28,543 --> 00:05:30,446
was holding down the fort the whole time.
115
00:05:30,447 --> 00:05:32,316
How is that even possible?
116
00:05:32,317 --> 00:05:35,288
Oh, Jeremy, let me drop a
little avian knowledge on you.
117
00:05:35,289 --> 00:05:37,660
Parrots can live to be 80
years old in captivity.
118
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They often outlive their owners.
119
00:05:39,665 --> 00:05:41,867
Especially when they've been
taught to feed themselves.
120
00:05:41,868 --> 00:05:43,404
This is how he did it.
121
00:05:43,405 --> 00:05:45,074
He pooped in this little tray right here.
122
00:05:45,075 --> 00:05:47,547
You see that? At the end of every month,
123
00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:49,950
when this got heavy enough
and full of enough bird poo,
124
00:05:49,951 --> 00:05:52,957
it would tip and it would flip
little switch on right here,
125
00:05:52,958 --> 00:05:56,095
causing this contraption to whir to life.
126
00:05:56,096 --> 00:05:57,832
This little arm would write a check,
127
00:05:57,833 --> 00:05:59,970
and this fan would blow it
into the vent right here,
128
00:05:59,971 --> 00:06:02,775
which is directly above the
building manager's office.
129
00:06:02,776 --> 00:06:04,612
That went on for like 40 years.
130
00:06:04,613 --> 00:06:06,349
Until about three months ago,
131
00:06:06,350 --> 00:06:09,087
when your gampy removed
this one domino right here,
132
00:06:09,088 --> 00:06:10,657
stopping the payments.
133
00:06:10,658 --> 00:06:12,061
Why?
134
00:06:12,062 --> 00:06:13,831
I think because he wanted you
135
00:06:13,832 --> 00:06:15,667
to find the place and then hire me.
136
00:06:15,668 --> 00:06:18,807
He wants me to help him
build his final machine.
137
00:06:18,808 --> 00:06:21,346
(Mysterious theme playing)
138
00:06:21,347 --> 00:06:23,817
You know what? Forget it.
139
00:06:23,818 --> 00:06:25,119
Uh, forget what?
140
00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:26,756
The job. Just cancel the job.
141
00:06:26,757 --> 00:06:28,025
I don't want you helping that man.
142
00:06:28,026 --> 00:06:29,494
What? No. Why?
143
00:06:29,495 --> 00:06:31,799
Rube Goldberg destroyed this family.
144
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:33,402
I don't want you helping him move on
145
00:06:33,403 --> 00:06:35,006
or find peace or any of that.
146
00:06:35,007 --> 00:06:36,842
He can rot away as a ghost for all I care.
147
00:06:36,843 --> 00:06:38,479
Good day to you, sir.
148
00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:40,383
No, see, ghosts don't rot, first of all.
149
00:06:40,384 --> 00:06:42,621
They kind of just like look
the same as they did when...
150
00:06:42,622 --> 00:06:45,493
Oh, shoot. Hey, what the hell, man?
151
00:06:45,494 --> 00:06:48,699
What... what about the money?
152
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:50,568
(Squeaks) Rube: I can pay you.
153
00:06:50,569 --> 00:06:53,776
If you finish this job, I'll
pay you whatever you want.
154
00:06:53,777 --> 00:06:55,613
Yeah. Yeah, I don't know, Rube.
155
00:06:55,614 --> 00:06:57,683
I've had lots of ghost clients before
156
00:06:57,684 --> 00:06:59,988
and they always seem to have
trouble opening their wallets,
157
00:06:59,989 --> 00:07:02,125
- if you know what I mean.
- I'm different.
158
00:07:02,126 --> 00:07:05,565
I was able to pay rent for
the past 40 years, right?
159
00:07:05,566 --> 00:07:06,934
That's true, you did.
160
00:07:06,935 --> 00:07:08,906
How does $10,000 sound?
161
00:07:08,907 --> 00:07:10,809
Ten thousand dollars? That's amazing.
162
00:07:10,810 --> 00:07:12,913
That, like, would change my whole life.
163
00:07:12,914 --> 00:07:15,017
You got yourself a deal, sir.
164
00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:17,923
All right, there are three items I need
165
00:07:17,924 --> 00:07:19,559
to complete my machine.
166
00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:22,632
The first item is a very special prototype
167
00:07:22,633 --> 00:07:24,101
for a new kind of spring.
168
00:07:24,102 --> 00:07:27,708
There is only one in existence.
169
00:07:27,709 --> 00:07:29,980
You'll pretend to be delivering fruit.
170
00:07:29,981 --> 00:07:32,618
No one ever questions a fruit basket.
171
00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:34,122
Can I help you?
172
00:07:34,123 --> 00:07:36,426
- Uh, yeah, I got some fruit.
- Qaddumi.
173
00:07:36,427 --> 00:07:38,797
Where is that spring catalogue?
174
00:07:38,798 --> 00:07:40,567
- Which one?
- The winter catalogue
175
00:07:40,568 --> 00:07:42,137
with the new spring collection.
176
00:07:42,138 --> 00:07:44,174
Uh, tomorrow, tomorrow, the latest.
177
00:07:44,175 --> 00:07:47,013
If we don't have that winter
catalogue by noon tomorrow,
178
00:07:47,014 --> 00:07:48,215
you're sprung.
179
00:07:48,216 --> 00:07:50,119
You can't just spring that on me.
180
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:52,657
What does your little
lucky 7 ball say, huh?
181
00:07:52,658 --> 00:07:53,926
Does it say you're the boss?
182
00:07:53,927 --> 00:07:55,898
Or does it say I'm the boss?
183
00:07:55,899 --> 00:07:58,736
Rube: The next item is a
four-hole bowling ball.
184
00:07:58,737 --> 00:08:02,745
There's one Alley in New York
where I know this ball exists.
185
00:08:05,550 --> 00:08:08,989
(Bowling pins clattering)
186
00:08:08,990 --> 00:08:11,894
Kevin: Who would ever
need a four-hole ball?
187
00:08:11,895 --> 00:08:14,568
Rube: A guy with six fingers.
188
00:08:19,578 --> 00:08:22,649
Excuse me. Uh, still using that ball.
189
00:08:22,650 --> 00:08:24,552
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm always doing that. Yeah.
190
00:08:24,553 --> 00:08:26,056
Can't we just, uh...?
191
00:08:26,057 --> 00:08:27,960
(Bone cracks) Ah! Damn it!
192
00:08:27,961 --> 00:08:30,500
You broke my finger! Gah! Damn.
193
00:08:35,977 --> 00:08:37,945
Rube: The final item on the list
194
00:08:37,946 --> 00:08:41,720
The kindergarten class pet at
Charles Bukowski Elementary.
195
00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:44,259
It's a hamster. Not any hamster.
196
00:08:44,260 --> 00:08:47,131
It's a blind hamster.
197
00:08:50,171 --> 00:08:52,507
Oi, look at this wanker.
198
00:08:52,508 --> 00:08:54,646
What? Oh.
199
00:08:54,647 --> 00:08:56,583
Oh, ha-ha.
200
00:08:56,584 --> 00:08:58,986
Okay, very funny, guys. Step aside.
201
00:08:58,987 --> 00:09:01,993
Sorry, mate. You gotta pay the toll.
202
00:09:01,994 --> 00:09:04,799
Uh, no. No, I don't, because I'm an adult
203
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:07,136
and adults don't pay tolls, genius.
204
00:09:07,137 --> 00:09:10,543
Ah! Where does that
come from? Was that you?
205
00:09:10,544 --> 00:09:12,046
Why would you do that? What are you...?
206
00:09:12,047 --> 00:09:13,916
What are you, little David Beckham?
207
00:09:13,917 --> 00:09:17,190
You've got quite the leg for
a 10-year-old. That stings.
208
00:09:17,191 --> 00:09:19,727
(Groans)
209
00:09:19,728 --> 00:09:22,535
Oh. Hey, guys. You turned
my grapes into raisins.
210
00:09:26,470 --> 00:09:28,740
(Mysterious theme playing)
211
00:09:30,010 --> 00:09:31,249
Hey.
212
00:09:31,250 --> 00:09:32,549
Hey, man, where the hell you been?
213
00:09:32,550 --> 00:09:34,089
You know how I am on punctuality.
214
00:09:34,090 --> 00:09:36,189
Yeah, I'm sorry, Roof, I tried to call.
215
00:09:36,190 --> 00:09:39,329
You know what? Take one
of my burner phones, man.
216
00:09:39,330 --> 00:09:42,599
Hey, Roof, when someone is,
like, super intimidating,
217
00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:44,609
but they're the only thing
standing in the way of you
218
00:09:44,610 --> 00:09:46,709
receiving some, like, life-changing reward,
219
00:09:46,710 --> 00:09:48,649
what's the best way to, uh...
220
00:09:48,650 --> 00:09:51,949
- bypass them completely?
- Hmm.
221
00:09:51,950 --> 00:09:54,220
The way I see it, man,
you gotta face your fears.
222
00:09:54,230 --> 00:09:57,329
You know. Like, I had a fear
of abandonment as a child.
223
00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:59,639
And...
224
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:02,139
and now my fears came back.
225
00:10:02,140 --> 00:10:04,309
(Chatter)
226
00:10:04,310 --> 00:10:06,319
(Clears throat)
227
00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:07,519
Hey, you.
228
00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:10,319
And you.
229
00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:12,329
I thought you weren't
ready for a relationship.
230
00:10:12,330 --> 00:10:15,069
And here you are on a date.
231
00:10:15,070 --> 00:10:17,700
With a very famous detective, no less.
232
00:10:17,710 --> 00:10:21,279
Uh, which... Oh, that actually means
233
00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:23,279
that you... you are
ready for a relationship.
234
00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:26,989
Perhaps my gentle let-downs
haven't been explicit enough
235
00:10:26,990 --> 00:10:30,729
to get through to your
sourdough bread bowl of a brain.
236
00:10:30,730 --> 00:10:33,439
Let me make myself perfectly clear.
237
00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:37,339
I would never date anyone like you.
238
00:10:37,340 --> 00:10:38,979
Ever.
239
00:10:38,980 --> 00:10:42,689
In fact, the only reason I might consider
240
00:10:42,690 --> 00:10:46,529
having you around is
because when I look at you,
241
00:10:46,530 --> 00:10:48,460
it makes me not want to eat.
242
00:10:48,470 --> 00:10:50,230
I'd just like to chime
in here for a minute.
243
00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:52,669
I'm not, uh, I'm not actually a detective.
244
00:10:52,670 --> 00:10:56,009
Um, I'm a, ahem, highly
acclaimed television actor.
245
00:10:56,010 --> 00:10:57,549
I could be doing movies too,
246
00:10:57,550 --> 00:11:01,089
- but I prefer...
- Fitz. Shut the (Bleep) up.
247
00:11:01,090 --> 00:11:04,229
The point is, is that Paul Fitzgerald
248
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:08,339
is attractive, successful, and a homeowner.
249
00:11:08,340 --> 00:11:09,639
You, on the other hand,
250
00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:12,310
will never amount to anything.
251
00:11:15,650 --> 00:11:17,489
You know something?
252
00:11:17,490 --> 00:11:21,659
You are nothing like the
sweet, and kind Camomile
253
00:11:21,660 --> 00:11:23,269
I used to dream of growing old with.
254
00:11:23,270 --> 00:11:25,139
And you.
255
00:11:25,140 --> 00:11:28,109
You are nothing like the
smooth and confident detective
256
00:11:28,110 --> 00:11:30,249
that you play on the TV.
257
00:11:30,250 --> 00:11:34,250
Which I guess, makes you a
really amazing actor, actually.
258
00:11:34,590 --> 00:11:36,589
- So good for you.
- Namaste.
259
00:11:36,590 --> 00:11:38,629
And you're wrong about me, Camomile.
260
00:11:38,630 --> 00:11:41,099
I will not never amount to nothing.
261
00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:42,569
I'm... I will not...
262
00:11:42,570 --> 00:11:44,370
Get out.
263
00:11:44,380 --> 00:11:45,480
Out.
264
00:11:49,220 --> 00:11:51,519
How does $10,000 sound?
265
00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:53,259
Ten thousand dollars? That's amazing.
266
00:11:53,260 --> 00:11:55,659
That, like, would change my whole life.
267
00:11:55,660 --> 00:11:59,269
You will never amount to anything.
268
00:11:59,270 --> 00:12:02,339
Roofie: The way I see it, man,
you gotta face your fears.
269
00:12:02,340 --> 00:12:03,709
(Laughing)
270
00:12:03,710 --> 00:12:07,710
I did not have sexual
relations with that woman.
271
00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:27,089
All right, listen up, snot wads.
272
00:12:27,090 --> 00:12:29,629
Step aside before I clean your clocks off.
273
00:12:29,630 --> 00:12:31,529
Is that a fact, wanker?
274
00:12:31,530 --> 00:12:33,570
- What's a "fackwanker"?
- Hit him.
275
00:12:44,630 --> 00:12:46,559
Oh, what just happened?
276
00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:47,770
- Get out of here!
- Let's go.
277
00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:01,360
(Mysterious theme playing)
278
00:13:26,610 --> 00:13:27,710
(Chittering)
279
00:13:44,910 --> 00:13:47,650
(Whispering): Hey, little
fella. Don't be afraid.
280
00:13:49,190 --> 00:13:51,389
Take you out on a little adventure.
281
00:13:51,390 --> 00:13:53,529
(Whispering): Who the hell are you?
282
00:13:53,530 --> 00:13:55,159
- Who am I?
- Yes.
283
00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:59,160
I'm... I'm 24601.
284
00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:01,679
I'm employee number 24601
from the hamster division.
285
00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:04,279
It's a mandatory hamster inspection.
286
00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:06,219
I'll just borrow this guy
and get him out of your hair.
287
00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:07,859
Excuse me. There is a sign-up
sheet for Mr. Wibbles.
288
00:14:07,860 --> 00:14:09,520
You need to sign him out.
289
00:14:09,530 --> 00:14:12,660
Oh, yeah, if you could just
bump me up on the list...
290
00:14:12,670 --> 00:14:14,199
Listen, I don't make the rules.
291
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,639
- Oh...
- Thank you.
292
00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:18,639
What is that man doing?
293
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:21,949
- Honey, he's checking...
- Is he taking Mr. Wibbles?
294
00:14:21,950 --> 00:14:25,259
Child, it's fine. I'm
just borrowing Mr. Wibbles
295
00:14:25,260 --> 00:14:26,929
so I can shove him inside of a machine.
296
00:14:26,930 --> 00:14:29,659
No! He's stealing Mr. Wibbles!
297
00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:30,869
(In normal voice): No, I'm not stealing...
298
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,900
Get out or I will extinguish you.
299
00:14:32,910 --> 00:14:34,680
No, no, no. I... ow! Ow! Ow!
300
00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:37,849
(Children screaming)
301
00:14:37,850 --> 00:14:39,420
You're okay.
302
00:14:40,820 --> 00:14:42,260
Get out!
303
00:14:43,790 --> 00:14:45,359
(Bone cracks)
304
00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:47,370
(Screaming)
305
00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:56,549
Hey, Rube. Where's the parrot?
306
00:14:56,550 --> 00:15:00,359
I let rodrigo fly out the window.
307
00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:02,359
His work here was done.
308
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:03,799
He earned his freedom.
309
00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:05,669
Cool.
310
00:15:05,670 --> 00:15:07,939
Of course, New York City's not
a natural habitat for a parrot.
311
00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:10,009
He'll most likely be dead in a week.
312
00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:14,010
Anyway, I got all the
stuff for which you asked.
313
00:15:14,650 --> 00:15:16,419
Look at this.
314
00:15:16,420 --> 00:15:17,660
Arab spring.
315
00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:21,299
Four-hole bowling ball.
316
00:15:21,300 --> 00:15:22,699
Lookit. Yeah.
317
00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:25,809
And last, but not least, your blind ham...
318
00:15:25,810 --> 00:15:27,309
Oh, no!
319
00:15:27,310 --> 00:15:28,910
Oh, my God.
320
00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:31,649
Oh, he was recovering so nicely.
321
00:15:31,650 --> 00:15:34,729
You should know that I actually
don't need any of these.
322
00:15:34,730 --> 00:15:36,890
- You don't need any of these?
- Uh-uh.
323
00:15:36,900 --> 00:15:38,829
Do you have any idea how difficult it was
324
00:15:38,830 --> 00:15:40,569
for me to get this stuff?
325
00:15:40,570 --> 00:15:42,509
There's a teacher at
Bakowski Elementary School
326
00:15:42,510 --> 00:15:43,709
with a broken leg.
327
00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:45,009
Snapped in half.
328
00:15:45,010 --> 00:15:46,479
Sarah will be fine.
329
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:47,919
She's gonna be f...
330
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:50,450
Wait a sec. What are you...?
How did you know her name?
331
00:15:50,460 --> 00:15:51,889
My whole life had been devoted
332
00:15:51,890 --> 00:15:55,829
to creating these complex machines.
333
00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:58,809
I kept thinking, "what's next?"
334
00:15:58,810 --> 00:16:04,619
When I died, I found that I had
completely neglected my family.
335
00:16:04,620 --> 00:16:08,620
That's when I realized that
our actions have consequences.
336
00:16:09,860 --> 00:16:11,859
Real consequences.
337
00:16:11,860 --> 00:16:14,699
That's when it struck me.
338
00:16:14,700 --> 00:16:17,409
What if I could build a machine
339
00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:20,309
that relied not only on physical dominoes,
340
00:16:20,310 --> 00:16:22,919
but metaphysical ones as well?
341
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:25,929
What if I could create an event
342
00:16:25,930 --> 00:16:28,729
that led to another event
343
00:16:28,730 --> 00:16:32,039
that led to another event?
344
00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:33,870
And so forth.
345
00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:36,779
So am I supposed to be
one of those meta...?
346
00:16:36,780 --> 00:16:38,679
- Metaphysical dominoes.
- Yeah.
347
00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:40,489
Metaphysical dominoes. Am I one of those?
348
00:16:40,490 --> 00:16:42,820
No. You, Kevin, were necessary
349
00:16:42,830 --> 00:16:46,399
to put the metaphysical dominoes in place.
350
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:49,809
And now, the machine is ready.
351
00:16:49,810 --> 00:16:53,509
Please, would you do me the honor?
352
00:16:53,510 --> 00:16:55,849
Push that domino over.
353
00:16:55,850 --> 00:16:57,719
- That one right there?
- Rube: Yes.
354
00:16:57,720 --> 00:16:59,730
Yeah.
355
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:07,409
The other way, genius.
356
00:17:07,410 --> 00:17:09,580
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I
knew that. There we go.
357
00:17:26,610 --> 00:17:27,710
Ow!
358
00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:48,449
The winter catalog never arrived
and we missed the deadline.
359
00:17:48,450 --> 00:17:50,089
The spring collection is ruined.
360
00:17:50,090 --> 00:17:51,489
You're fired!
361
00:17:51,490 --> 00:17:54,060
(Upbeat theme playing)
362
00:18:05,850 --> 00:18:08,589
No, no. I said "lawsuit."
Not "clothing suit."
363
00:18:08,590 --> 00:18:09,959
Why would I need a lawsuit dry-cleaned?
364
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:12,070
(Bird squawks) Is that a parrot?
365
00:18:19,650 --> 00:18:23,150
Okay, now listen. This
buzzer's broken over here
366
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:26,729
so if you need me, you just
pull this string on the side.
367
00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:28,729
It runs the whole length of the hallway,
368
00:18:28,730 --> 00:18:32,739
and it attaches to a see-saw
thing that'll ring a bell.
369
00:18:32,740 --> 00:18:34,779
I know it's super janky,
370
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:36,009
but it's like one of those, you know,
371
00:18:36,010 --> 00:18:37,679
mouse trap kind of thingies.
372
00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:39,049
It's a Rube Goldberg machine.
373
00:18:39,050 --> 00:18:41,119
(Laughs)
374
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,959
That's funny.
375
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:45,029
- What's funny about that?
- No, nothing.
376
00:18:45,030 --> 00:18:47,970
It's just, uh, Rube Goldberg
was actually my grandfather.
377
00:18:51,110 --> 00:18:52,880
Rube Goldberg was my grandfather.
378
00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:57,760
(Phone rings)
379
00:18:59,130 --> 00:19:00,529
Hello?
380
00:19:00,530 --> 00:19:01,729
Jeremy: Mr. Mosalata.
381
00:19:01,730 --> 00:19:02,999
Please. Taro.
382
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,669
Taro, hey, it's Jeremy Goldberg.
383
00:19:05,670 --> 00:19:07,939
Listen, I think I'm going to keep
384
00:19:07,940 --> 00:19:09,709
- that apartment after all.
- Are you sure?
385
00:19:09,710 --> 00:19:11,879
Yeah. I just ran into my long-lost cousin
386
00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:13,549
who I'd never met,
387
00:19:13,550 --> 00:19:15,820
and the fact that we have
the same grandfather,
388
00:19:15,830 --> 00:19:18,159
the very man who rented that apartment,
389
00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:21,169
I... I don't know. It
seems like it's a sign.
390
00:19:21,170 --> 00:19:23,809
Like it's all part of some bigger plan.
391
00:19:23,810 --> 00:19:26,009
- I'll start the paperwork.
- Thanks.
392
00:19:26,010 --> 00:19:27,949
Oh, one thing that's definitely, you know,
393
00:19:27,950 --> 00:19:29,180
not part of the bigger plan.
394
00:19:29,190 --> 00:19:30,589
That broken window,
395
00:19:30,590 --> 00:19:31,789
can you fix that?
396
00:19:31,790 --> 00:19:33,029
I'll take a look at it.
397
00:19:33,030 --> 00:19:34,630
Okay. Thanks.
398
00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:58,239
(Ringing)
399
00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:00,050
Night's coming.
400
00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:05,689
Oh.
401
00:20:05,690 --> 00:20:07,020
(Laughs)
402
00:20:07,030 --> 00:20:08,629
Wow.
403
00:20:08,630 --> 00:20:10,999
(Laughing): Oh, my God.
404
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,939
That was amazing.
405
00:20:12,940 --> 00:20:14,569
I mean, I still like the hand-clapping one,
406
00:20:14,570 --> 00:20:15,770
but that was cool.
407
00:20:15,780 --> 00:20:19,719
Oh, Rube, you are awesome.
408
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:21,549
Wait. Oh...
409
00:20:21,550 --> 00:20:23,159
Wait, Rube.
410
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:24,959
How am I supposed to
get my... my ten grand?
411
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:26,959
Oh, freaking a! I knew it.
412
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:28,169
(Cell phone rings) Ah...
413
00:20:28,170 --> 00:20:31,039
Ugh, who's this?
414
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:32,809
Roofie, it's a bad time, man.
415
00:20:32,810 --> 00:20:34,240
Roofie: No, no. Wait, wait. This is good.
416
00:20:34,250 --> 00:20:35,749
Yo, check this, man.
417
00:20:35,750 --> 00:20:36,949
So I'm taking a taxi yesterday.
418
00:20:36,950 --> 00:20:38,819
All of a sudden a paper airplane
419
00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:40,759
flies through the window,
420
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:42,929
hits the cab driver in
the face out of nowhere.
421
00:20:42,930 --> 00:20:44,199
We swerve,
422
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,769
hit a town car, right?
423
00:20:46,770 --> 00:20:48,809
- Guess who's town car we hit.
- Uh, James McAvoy?
424
00:20:48,810 --> 00:20:50,009
No.
425
00:20:50,010 --> 00:20:51,309
Steve Myer.
426
00:20:51,310 --> 00:20:53,919
Steven Myer is the mayor of New York.
427
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,089
- We elected a mayor Myer?
- (Laughing): I know, right?
428
00:20:56,090 --> 00:20:57,289
But check this out.
429
00:20:57,290 --> 00:20:58,809
Me and him get to talking,
430
00:20:58,810 --> 00:21:00,179
we chatting, right?
431
00:21:00,180 --> 00:21:01,979
And I asked him, I say, "yo, what's taking
432
00:21:01,980 --> 00:21:05,749
so freaking long with the
Second Ave. Subway line?"
433
00:21:05,750 --> 00:21:08,619
Yo, get this. He says the
workers don't want to work,
434
00:21:08,620 --> 00:21:10,949
because it might be haunted.
435
00:21:10,950 --> 00:21:12,619
Subway ghosts.
436
00:21:12,620 --> 00:21:14,119
(Laughing): Yup.
437
00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:17,160
Short story long, how would
you like to make $10,000?
438
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:21,260
(Laughs)
439
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:24,829
(Upbeat theme playing)
440
00:21:24,830 --> 00:21:34,830
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441
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:39,430
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