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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,975 --> 00:00:12,043 Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells Exclusive for http://UKsubtitles.ru 2 00:01:08,476 --> 00:01:10,524 Match point - llsa and Jackson. 3 00:01:10,716 --> 00:01:13,481 As previously agreed, the winners are awarded the right 4 00:01:13,676 --> 00:01:16,407 to subject the losers to one dare of their choice, 5 00:01:16,596 --> 00:01:19,486 to be redeemed at any time. 6 00:01:19,676 --> 00:01:22,202 Don't screw this up. 7 00:01:39,276 --> 00:01:40,323 I apologise. 8 00:01:46,756 --> 00:01:49,885 Hey, llsa, did you listen to that record I gave you? 9 00:01:51,836 --> 00:01:53,281 Sort of? 10 00:01:57,196 --> 00:01:59,324 - You don't like music? - Hey, llsa... 11 00:02:00,076 --> 00:02:01,805 Here's your Remigio Matina album. 12 00:02:01,996 --> 00:02:04,681 It really opened my mind to easy listening. 13 00:02:07,276 --> 00:02:08,721 - Everybody sit down! - Greetings, Colonel. 14 00:02:08,916 --> 00:02:10,998 I said sit down! 15 00:02:11,196 --> 00:02:13,927 Now, you know I don't like to use the sit-down gun, 16 00:02:14,116 --> 00:02:16,960 but this morning we just don't have time for mucking about. 17 00:02:17,156 --> 00:02:19,284 Major Allied cities have come under attack from... 18 00:02:19,476 --> 00:02:21,240 Nazi monst... 19 00:02:22,076 --> 00:02:25,558 Close... your... mouth. 20 00:02:27,116 --> 00:02:28,720 Nazi monsters. 21 00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:30,361 No conventional weapons can stop them. 22 00:02:30,556 --> 00:02:33,207 And Allied command was almost ready to surrender 23 00:02:33,396 --> 00:02:35,717 until they received a telegram from this man. 24 00:02:35,916 --> 00:02:39,477 He calls himself Gibraltar, and claims to be from the lost city of Atlantis. 25 00:02:39,676 --> 00:02:42,839 This might sound crazy, but the Atlanteans have developed a weapon 26 00:02:43,036 --> 00:02:44,526 that can stop the Nazi monsters. 27 00:02:44,716 --> 00:02:48,243 All they need is some of our refined uranium to power it. 28 00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:51,167 Your mission is to take the uranium to Atlantis, 29 00:02:51,356 --> 00:02:53,643 use this weapon to destroy the Nazi monsters, 30 00:02:53,836 --> 00:02:56,885 and for the love of God, damn well kill Hitler. 31 00:02:59,956 --> 00:03:02,641 There's something I don't like about this whole caper. 32 00:03:04,156 --> 00:03:07,365 This is an opportunity to learn from an alternative civilisation, Claire. 33 00:03:07,556 --> 00:03:10,162 Mankind has been searching for Atlantis for hundreds of years. 34 00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:12,165 I see your meaning, Claire. 35 00:03:12,356 --> 00:03:14,120 What if there is no Atlantis? 36 00:03:14,316 --> 00:03:16,239 And this Gibraltar character is full of... 37 00:03:16,436 --> 00:03:17,403 Crab! 38 00:03:17,596 --> 00:03:20,042 - Precisely. - No, look at that crab! 39 00:03:20,236 --> 00:03:23,445 Bet you could fry that up and live off leftovers for a year. 40 00:03:23,636 --> 00:03:25,684 I think I just found your dare, guys. 41 00:03:26,596 --> 00:03:28,883 Don't be a child, Jackson, we're on a mission. 42 00:03:33,716 --> 00:03:37,516 - It is the sport of kings. - You want us to go into the water? 43 00:03:37,716 --> 00:03:41,323 What's the matter, Tucker? Chicken? 44 00:03:43,036 --> 00:03:45,164 Nice one, Kilroy! 45 00:03:45,356 --> 00:03:49,406 I'll get your crab, if it means we can go on without any more juvenile interruptions. 46 00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:51,485 - Aw, man! - Except from Kilroy. 47 00:03:51,676 --> 00:03:53,440 Radical! 48 00:04:02,076 --> 00:04:03,919 My God, a shark! 49 00:04:06,796 --> 00:04:08,241 We have to help her! 50 00:04:09,396 --> 00:04:11,160 Give it here! 51 00:04:24,116 --> 00:04:25,766 llsa, can't you shoot it with something? 52 00:04:27,276 --> 00:04:28,402 Hurry! 53 00:04:37,916 --> 00:04:40,317 Where else was I supposed to put the munchies? 54 00:04:40,516 --> 00:04:41,802 Dr Snack's Jumbo Crunch. 55 00:04:41,996 --> 00:04:43,566 I'm afraid they're delicious, my friends. 56 00:05:05,956 --> 00:05:07,481 Atlantis! 57 00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:10,882 Claire... 58 00:05:21,676 --> 00:05:24,646 Greetings, ambassadors. Welcome to Atlantis. 59 00:05:24,836 --> 00:05:27,840 Now, let us indulge in a refreshing beverage. 60 00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:29,925 - It's all my fault. - Pardon? 61 00:05:30,116 --> 00:05:33,677 Er... We ran into some difficulty on the way here, Captain. 62 00:05:33,876 --> 00:05:36,004 We lost two of our team. 63 00:05:36,196 --> 00:05:37,880 He's not taking it very well. 64 00:05:38,076 --> 00:05:40,886 - It's all my damn fault. - How tragic indeed. 65 00:05:41,076 --> 00:05:44,842 But these are the perils of the sea. You do have the uranium? 66 00:05:46,196 --> 00:05:49,439 Superb. We can begin the final alterations to the weapon! 67 00:05:49,636 --> 00:05:52,560 - No! - What is the meaning of this? 68 00:05:54,676 --> 00:05:56,485 - Take it easy. - Nobody's getting it! 69 00:05:56,676 --> 00:05:59,282 I killed her! I killed her... 70 00:06:00,756 --> 00:06:03,521 And now the world's not worth living in without her. 71 00:06:04,396 --> 00:06:06,876 Without this case, the whole world is going to burn 72 00:06:07,076 --> 00:06:08,521 and I'm going to let it! 73 00:06:16,116 --> 00:06:18,483 Hush now, land-walker. 74 00:06:19,076 --> 00:06:22,478 Let this potion ease the pain in your heart. 75 00:06:25,796 --> 00:06:29,482 - Apologies, Captain... - The pain of loss is a cruel serpent. 76 00:06:29,676 --> 00:06:33,476 It will take my technicians several hours to ready the device. 77 00:06:33,676 --> 00:06:36,680 In the meantime, I think you should get some rest. 78 00:06:36,876 --> 00:06:39,038 A quick siesta would sharpen my senses. 79 00:06:39,236 --> 00:06:42,558 - Way ahead of ya, buddy. - You're the best, Kilroy. 80 00:06:52,396 --> 00:06:54,080 - Tucker... - I have to save you. 81 00:06:54,276 --> 00:06:55,721 Tucker! 82 00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:57,761 Claire! 83 00:06:57,956 --> 00:07:00,402 - You're alive! - Why didn't you save me, Tucker? 84 00:07:00,596 --> 00:07:03,645 - I... - You were afraid. 85 00:07:03,836 --> 00:07:07,204 - And now it's too late! - No! No! 86 00:07:17,676 --> 00:07:19,041 Hey... 87 00:07:24,516 --> 00:07:27,520 You know, you're much more attractive than Claire. 88 00:07:33,716 --> 00:07:35,684 I guess this is goodbye. 89 00:07:49,596 --> 00:07:53,442 Hey, Pierre... Pierre! Wake up, Pierre. 90 00:07:53,636 --> 00:07:57,197 Can I take batteries from your remote for my video game? 91 00:07:57,396 --> 00:07:59,364 You're the best, Kilroy! 92 00:08:00,916 --> 00:08:04,159 How was your rest? Do you feel any better, Tucker? 93 00:08:04,356 --> 00:08:06,279 - She's here. - Oh, no. 94 00:08:06,476 --> 00:08:08,524 She's here. She's alive! 95 00:08:08,716 --> 00:08:10,241 - Who's here? - Claire! 96 00:08:10,436 --> 00:08:12,484 - I spoke with her. - You are having visions. 97 00:08:12,676 --> 00:08:15,919 This can happen when not accustomed to high pressures under the ocean. 98 00:08:16,116 --> 00:08:18,118 Did anyone else have any visions? 99 00:08:18,676 --> 00:08:22,761 I had some, but it's probably from smoking all this Thai stick. 100 00:08:23,716 --> 00:08:25,798 She wasn't a damn vision! She was real! 101 00:08:25,996 --> 00:08:27,521 I'm going to find her. 102 00:08:29,636 --> 00:08:32,765 - It's for his own good. - You have the deep-sea madness. 103 00:08:32,956 --> 00:08:36,563 - You'll have to sleep it off. - I'm not crazy! 104 00:08:40,516 --> 00:08:43,565 Come, the preparations are complete. 105 00:08:44,556 --> 00:08:47,605 This fighting machine was developed by our scientists 106 00:08:47,796 --> 00:08:50,879 over the last century as the ultimate self-defence weapon. 107 00:08:51,076 --> 00:08:56,116 Now that it is complete, we should be able to defeat the Nazi monsters. 108 00:08:56,316 --> 00:08:59,160 This is indeed an impressive device, Gibraltar. 109 00:08:59,356 --> 00:09:02,007 llsa, is this not a wonderment? 110 00:09:03,636 --> 00:09:05,126 llsa? 111 00:09:10,156 --> 00:09:11,521 Hey! 112 00:09:13,516 --> 00:09:17,805 Hello, do you think I could get some more of this lobster bisque? 113 00:09:30,956 --> 00:09:32,685 Where are they keeping her? 114 00:09:34,996 --> 00:09:36,521 Your German is very good. 115 00:09:46,476 --> 00:09:47,443 Tucker... 116 00:09:48,596 --> 00:09:51,998 - Hurry up, we don't have much time. - Wait! 117 00:09:55,916 --> 00:09:56,917 Jackson? 118 00:10:14,476 --> 00:10:16,638 My friend! What is the meaning of this? 119 00:10:25,156 --> 00:10:28,126 My Fuehrer, it is now truly the ultimate fighting machine. 120 00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:39,406 Jackson! Claire! You are alive! 121 00:10:41,436 --> 00:10:42,403 Where are we? 122 00:10:42,596 --> 00:10:45,167 You knew where you were when you lured me here. 123 00:10:45,356 --> 00:10:47,518 - What are you talking about? - What's going on, Adolf? 124 00:10:47,716 --> 00:10:50,481 What did you do to Claire? Brainwash her? 125 00:10:50,676 --> 00:10:53,282 - Is she working for you now? - Nobody's done anything to me. 126 00:11:31,521 --> 00:11:33,489 You cloned us! 127 00:11:40,481 --> 00:11:42,290 They are my children. 128 00:11:45,601 --> 00:11:47,410 So that vision I had... 129 00:11:55,761 --> 00:11:57,286 You heartless dog of a man. 130 00:11:57,481 --> 00:12:00,690 You're tearing the world apart with your damn monsters. What more do you want? 131 00:12:50,761 --> 00:12:53,605 - Not so fast, Hitlerino. - I knew you would save us, Kilroy! 132 00:12:53,801 --> 00:12:55,451 De nada, compadre. 133 00:12:58,081 --> 00:13:01,164 Noooooo! 134 00:13:28,201 --> 00:13:30,169 We need to get the last two clones! 135 00:13:34,161 --> 00:13:35,606 How do you feel, my friend? 136 00:13:35,801 --> 00:13:39,248 Hook me up with a Mac and some fries and I'll be like new. 137 00:13:39,441 --> 00:13:42,206 - That's the spirit. - I'm gonna fuckin' die, man! 138 00:13:42,401 --> 00:13:44,403 No, it will be all right, my friend. 139 00:13:45,001 --> 00:13:49,643 Nine parts vodka, four parts grape flavoured fruit drink, 140 00:13:49,841 --> 00:13:52,811 freeze overnight, serve in plastic... 141 00:13:53,001 --> 00:13:55,971 the perfect Beyond Chunderdome. 142 00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:09,765 Shoot her, Tucker. No, shoot her, Tucker! 143 00:14:13,761 --> 00:14:15,365 Shut up! All of you. 144 00:14:15,561 --> 00:14:18,371 - This is a quite a conundrum. - Can't we just tie them up? 145 00:14:18,561 --> 00:14:20,768 We don't have time for prisoners. 146 00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:22,804 - What's my middle name? - Felix! 147 00:14:23,001 --> 00:14:25,322 What's my mortal fear? Water! 148 00:14:25,521 --> 00:14:28,172 Well, it seems Gibraltar has copied their memories perfectly. 149 00:14:28,361 --> 00:14:31,524 - Then it's impossible. - Not entirely, my friends. 150 00:14:31,721 --> 00:14:33,883 Whilst you can copy the information in someone's brain, 151 00:14:34,081 --> 00:14:36,083 you cannot copy their emotions. 152 00:14:36,281 --> 00:14:38,090 This is how we'll find the imposters. 153 00:14:38,281 --> 00:14:39,612 I see. 154 00:15:08,721 --> 00:15:10,291 That was beautiful. 155 00:15:11,121 --> 00:15:13,010 I wrote that for you, Claire. 156 00:15:14,401 --> 00:15:16,130 Thanks for the lessons, Pierre. 157 00:15:17,481 --> 00:15:21,486 Russians don't have emotions. So the test is no good on her, my friend. 158 00:15:21,681 --> 00:15:23,410 The cloned llsa will say whatever... 159 00:15:23,601 --> 00:15:25,922 she thinks I wanna hear to stay alive. 160 00:15:26,121 --> 00:15:28,169 But the real llsa... 161 00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:30,762 I don't know what she wants 162 00:15:30,961 --> 00:15:33,123 and I don't think she'll ever really know. 163 00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:36,365 So... Why shouldn't I kill you? 164 00:15:44,121 --> 00:15:45,805 Too easy. 165 00:15:50,081 --> 00:15:51,685 So, what was your answer? 166 00:17:06,681 --> 00:17:08,524 Cinque... Cinque! 167 00:17:09,201 --> 00:17:10,691 Cinque! 168 00:17:12,041 --> 00:17:13,008 Cinque! 169 00:17:15,321 --> 00:17:16,482 Cinque! 170 00:17:17,601 --> 00:17:18,932 Cinque! 171 00:19:06,641 --> 00:19:08,928 Oh, no... We killed Hitler's clone! 172 00:19:44,121 --> 00:19:45,452 What happened? 173 00:19:47,361 --> 00:19:48,931 Can we fix it? 174 00:20:08,521 --> 00:20:10,603 I fear it is too late, my friends. 175 00:20:44,580 --> 00:20:45,661 Tucker! 176 00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:57,070 Wake up, Tucker! 177 00:20:57,260 --> 00:20:58,341 Tucker! 178 00:20:59,340 --> 00:21:00,785 Not now! 179 00:21:01,980 --> 00:21:03,220 Tucker... 180 00:21:04,220 --> 00:21:05,506 Tucker? 181 00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:16,020 Right then, are we back in business? 182 00:22:15,340 --> 00:22:16,785 Ladies and gentlemen... 183 00:22:16,980 --> 00:22:20,621 I know you're all here just for the drinks, so I'll be brief. 184 00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:22,661 Only joking. 185 00:22:22,860 --> 00:22:26,103 Except for Marco Pranzo, he is just here for the drinks. 186 00:22:28,420 --> 00:22:29,865 We're all here today 187 00:22:30,060 --> 00:22:33,030 to honour the five finest soldiers I've had the under my command. 188 00:22:33,220 --> 00:22:34,187 I salute you. 189 00:22:34,380 --> 00:22:37,270 And now I have the honour of handing over the formalities 190 00:22:37,460 --> 00:22:41,943 to the President of the World, Signor Massimiliano Importante. 191 00:22:43,020 --> 00:22:45,705 Cinque, cinque, cinque, cinque. Ciao. 192 00:22:47,220 --> 00:22:48,187 Buona sera. 193 00:23:01,540 --> 00:23:04,020 Looks like we need to get some copies cut! 194 00:23:06,820 --> 00:23:08,185 There's only one. 195 00:23:08,380 --> 00:23:10,064 And now we dance. 196 00:23:48,540 --> 00:23:50,781 Are you sick of striking out? 197 00:23:50,980 --> 00:23:54,746 Moreno pre-lit matches are lit at the factory for your convenience. 198 00:23:54,940 --> 00:23:58,387 Moreno pre-lit matches... keeping you alight. 199 00:24:03,812 --> 00:24:14,880 Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells Exclusive for http://UKsubtitles.ru 200 00:24:44,900 --> 00:24:47,904 - What do you want? - I want to speak to the manager. 201 00:24:48,100 --> 00:24:50,068 The manager does not want to see you. 202 00:24:50,118 --> 00:24:54,668 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 15529

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