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1
00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:19,828
Dads is recorded in front
a live studio audience.
2
00:00:23,751 --> 00:00:25,852
It's 9:00am. Why are you guys
eating spaghetti?
3
00:00:25,864 --> 00:00:28,733
Uh, we're trying to get
inspiration for our mafia game.
4
00:00:30,325 --> 00:00:32,192
Well, how's it going?
5
00:00:32,237 --> 00:00:33,937
(Italian accent):
Not-a so good.
6
00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:37,561
You know, the problem
is you guys are
7
00:00:37,570 --> 00:00:39,090
a couple of rich kids
from the suburbs.
8
00:00:39,113 --> 00:00:40,947
You probably never committed
a crime in your life.
9
00:00:40,991 --> 00:00:42,425
Warner:
Uh, that's not true.
10
00:00:42,468 --> 00:00:44,736
From to 2000 to 2005,
11
00:00:44,748 --> 00:00:48,684
I stole every piece of music
ever created.
12
00:00:48,706 --> 00:00:51,441
And I once slandered ke$ha
on an Internet message board
13
00:00:51,456 --> 00:00:53,524
by implying she was
involved in sex acts using
14
00:00:53,536 --> 00:00:55,537
her "a, dollar sign,
dollar sign."
15
00:00:57,863 --> 00:01:00,298
As edgy and dangerous
as you guys are,
16
00:01:00,345 --> 00:01:02,046
I think we should hire
a consultant who knows
17
00:01:02,055 --> 00:01:03,255
what he's talking about.
18
00:01:03,263 --> 00:01:04,797
What do you mean?
Like-like somebody
19
00:01:04,806 --> 00:01:06,406
who's actually
in the mafia?
20
00:01:07,589 --> 00:01:09,457
That's a really
good idea.
21
00:01:09,468 --> 00:01:10,802
No, it's not.
22
00:01:10,810 --> 00:01:12,277
Yeah, it is.
23
00:01:12,286 --> 00:01:14,053
Don't you remember
all the fun we had
24
00:01:14,063 --> 00:01:16,598
with the Nazis we got
for kill Hitler?
25
00:01:16,612 --> 00:01:18,613
Hey, you know,
maybe we should develop
26
00:01:18,625 --> 00:01:22,428
our driving game
with Lindsay Lohan.
27
00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:24,483
Sounds like
more of a drinking game.
28
00:01:30,532 --> 00:01:31,933
You know,
you guys, I think
29
00:01:31,941 --> 00:01:34,609
I might be able to help
you find a consultant.
30
00:01:34,624 --> 00:01:37,626
I happen to have had a friend
that was in the mafia.
31
00:01:37,676 --> 00:01:42,313
His name is Johnny Johnny
Desalvo Desalvo.
32
00:01:42,372 --> 00:01:45,007
Dad, how do you know
somebody in the mafia?
33
00:01:45,022 --> 00:01:47,890
We tried to set up
a series of Alzheimer clinics
34
00:01:47,906 --> 00:01:50,875
for elderly Italians
called fuhgeddaboudit.
35
00:01:54,044 --> 00:01:56,412
Wha... what happened?
36
00:01:56,425 --> 00:01:58,660
To what?
37
00:02:02,061 --> 00:02:03,728
Fuhgeddaboudit.
38
00:02:03,772 --> 00:02:05,139
Okay, I will.
39
00:02:05,147 --> 00:02:06,580
Jeez, you brought it up.
40
00:02:09,607 --> 00:02:12,810
Daddy took me to the zoo
41
00:02:12,861 --> 00:02:14,862
Na, na, na, na
42
00:02:14,907 --> 00:02:18,877
Just to see
something brand-new
43
00:02:18,932 --> 00:02:20,500
Na, na, na
44
00:02:20,509 --> 00:02:25,179
So many stars up in the sky
45
00:02:25,204 --> 00:02:29,741
So many questions have I
46
00:02:29,766 --> 00:02:31,967
Na, na, na, na
47
00:02:31,980 --> 00:02:33,504
Daddy took me for a ride.
48
00:02:33,512 --> 00:02:36,998
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
49
00:02:37,044 --> 00:02:39,446
I-I just don't want
somebody from the mafia
50
00:02:39,459 --> 00:02:40,759
in the office, you know?
51
00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:44,370
What-what if he makes us
an offer we can't refuse?
52
00:02:44,390 --> 00:02:47,792
Or-or worse,
we can't understand?
53
00:02:47,844 --> 00:02:50,212
Oh, I-I watched an episode
of sopranos last night,
54
00:02:50,225 --> 00:02:52,627
so don't worry,
I got the lingo down.
55
00:02:52,674 --> 00:02:56,076
Oh, the gagoots on
that doorman, huh?
56
00:02:56,129 --> 00:02:58,497
I wanted to give him a
cuestamarole upside his scaputo.
57
00:02:58,510 --> 00:03:00,411
Yeah.
58
00:03:00,456 --> 00:03:02,924
He said he's gonna
have pizza for dinner.
59
00:03:05,386 --> 00:03:07,287
Johnny, this is
my son, Warner.
60
00:03:07,331 --> 00:03:08,598
Oh, nice to meet you.
61
00:03:08,606 --> 00:03:11,108
Whoa. Spaghetti's
been in the pot too long.
62
00:03:12,933 --> 00:03:15,434
Uh, hey, thank you so much
for consulting on our game.
63
00:03:15,449 --> 00:03:17,150
I'm Eli, Warner's
business partner.
64
00:03:17,193 --> 00:03:19,161
What are you,
in kindergarten?
65
00:03:19,205 --> 00:03:21,907
Well, he's
all yours.
66
00:03:21,922 --> 00:03:24,090
All right...
67
00:03:24,103 --> 00:03:27,572
Now who do I got to whack around
here to get a tiny coffee?
68
00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:30,760
I'll get that for you.
How do you like it?
69
00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:33,012
Up against the hanging meats
in the back of the deli,
70
00:03:33,024 --> 00:03:34,892
but my coffee I'll take black.
71
00:03:36,311 --> 00:03:39,280
(Clears throat)
Wow.
72
00:03:39,330 --> 00:03:42,466
Thank you. Thank you so much
for-for coming down to help us.
73
00:03:42,483 --> 00:03:45,018
M-my dad might have told you
that we're working on a game,
74
00:03:45,033 --> 00:03:46,566
uh, about the, uh...
75
00:03:46,575 --> 00:03:48,977
(Whispers):
About the mafia.
76
00:03:49,023 --> 00:03:51,091
Mafia?
77
00:03:51,103 --> 00:03:54,272
You think because I'm Italian-
American, I'm in the mafia?
78
00:03:55,497 --> 00:03:58,499
Wha... well,
a-aren't you?
79
00:03:58,549 --> 00:04:01,118
Yeah.
80
00:04:01,132 --> 00:04:04,501
But the point is:
Don't make assumptions.
81
00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:07,761
So, San Francisco, huh?
82
00:04:07,773 --> 00:04:10,542
So, what are you, like,
a bunch of fruit loops?
83
00:04:10,591 --> 00:04:12,358
No.
84
00:04:12,402 --> 00:04:15,204
Hey, guys.
Not all of us.
85
00:04:20,049 --> 00:04:22,217
You know, I think we should
get to work on the game
86
00:04:22,229 --> 00:04:24,731
so that Mr. Desalvo can
get back to the family...
87
00:04:24,745 --> 00:04:25,745
His family.
88
00:04:25,785 --> 00:04:28,654
The-the, uh, normal,
uh, wife and kid...
89
00:04:28,703 --> 00:04:31,371
The, uh, non...
90
00:04:31,386 --> 00:04:33,988
(Whispers):
I'm so sorry.
91
00:04:34,036 --> 00:04:37,372
Take a deep breath there,
lady pants.
92
00:04:37,423 --> 00:04:39,658
Now, just
so you know,
93
00:04:39,704 --> 00:04:42,573
I only got one rule:
I do not answer any questions.
94
00:04:42,589 --> 00:04:43,856
Any questions?
95
00:04:49,230 --> 00:04:50,764
Okay, good.
96
00:04:50,773 --> 00:04:53,675
Now, first thing, do not
make all these mob guys
97
00:04:53,691 --> 00:04:56,226
into stereotypical jerks.
98
00:04:56,273 --> 00:04:59,042
(Snapping fingers)
Hey, eggroll, start typing.
99
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:04,444
Then the player finds out that this magarole's
been skimming off the top.
100
00:05:04,463 --> 00:05:07,994
So Tony "I Did Your Sister" Martelli
makes him go for a ride.
101
00:05:10,458 --> 00:05:12,158
uh, what do you mean?
102
00:05:12,168 --> 00:05:13,769
They... they kill him?
103
00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:18,893
What part of "go for a ride"
do you not understand?
104
00:05:23,103 --> 00:05:25,337
Yes, badafootz.
105
00:05:25,384 --> 00:05:29,353
What if you actually
want to go for a ride?
106
00:05:29,409 --> 00:05:33,011
What am I, a dog
with my head out the window?
107
00:05:34,272 --> 00:05:36,206
Wow, your information
is so well-defined,
108
00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:38,820
it almost makes you think
this stuff really happened.
109
00:05:40,074 --> 00:05:43,243
Are you wearing a wire?
110
00:05:43,295 --> 00:05:45,829
No, I don't wear wires
and I don't carry pennies,
111
00:05:45,844 --> 00:05:49,480
'cause Mexicans will
strip you for the copper.
112
00:05:52,351 --> 00:05:54,619
Mr. Desalvo, thank you
so much for your help.
113
00:05:54,632 --> 00:05:56,399
I mean, the game
really feels authentic now.
114
00:05:56,443 --> 00:05:58,878
Oh, sure thing, chopsticks.
115
00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:00,726
Oh...
116
00:06:00,770 --> 00:06:04,406
One more very
important detail.
117
00:06:04,426 --> 00:06:06,560
The consigliere
in the game
118
00:06:06,606 --> 00:06:08,607
needs to be
a talking meatball.
119
00:06:10,095 --> 00:06:12,262
A talking meatball?
120
00:06:12,308 --> 00:06:14,909
Yeah. A meatball that knows
all the family secrets,
121
00:06:14,924 --> 00:06:17,993
like who whacked who
what where with what, when.
122
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:19,678
Plus...
123
00:06:19,721 --> 00:06:21,955
It's funny as hell.
124
00:06:22,002 --> 00:06:23,536
That is
a rib tickler, yeah.
125
00:06:23,545 --> 00:06:25,446
It's... it's amazing,
yeah.
126
00:06:25,490 --> 00:06:28,258
So, now, the, uh,
certain matter of my payment.
127
00:06:28,308 --> 00:06:30,409
Oh, yeah.
Uh, here you go.
128
00:06:30,421 --> 00:06:33,757
I, uh, added an 18%
"please don't kill us" tip.
129
00:06:35,351 --> 00:06:36,384
Whoa.
130
00:06:36,424 --> 00:06:37,892
What is that, a check?
131
00:06:37,934 --> 00:06:39,802
Y-yeah.
Uh...
132
00:06:39,812 --> 00:06:41,712
Why? Is that...
Is that a problem?
133
00:06:41,758 --> 00:06:43,158
Yes, that's a problem.
134
00:06:43,166 --> 00:06:45,167
I don't have a bank account.
135
00:06:46,755 --> 00:06:49,357
I keep all my money offshore.
136
00:06:49,371 --> 00:06:51,372
In a lobster buoy.
137
00:06:52,558 --> 00:06:54,292
Uh... I don't think
we have that kind of
138
00:06:54,302 --> 00:06:56,436
cash in the... in the office.
But we can go to the...
139
00:06:56,482 --> 00:06:58,216
All right.
140
00:06:58,226 --> 00:07:00,160
All right, I'll
tell you what.
141
00:07:00,171 --> 00:07:02,205
Since your old man
is a friend of ours,
142
00:07:02,217 --> 00:07:03,585
we'll call it even.
143
00:07:03,626 --> 00:07:06,494
But at some time in the future,
144
00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:10,313
I may come to you
and ask for a favor.
145
00:07:11,676 --> 00:07:13,343
Sure.
Yeah, sure.
146
00:07:13,387 --> 00:07:16,822
A capilozi vigamo.
147
00:07:16,875 --> 00:07:19,109
(Laughs):
I mean...
148
00:07:19,122 --> 00:07:20,456
That was easy.
149
00:07:20,464 --> 00:07:22,665
Yeah, I-I guess I was
worried for nothing.
150
00:07:22,712 --> 00:07:24,979
Remember that time...
151
00:07:27,474 --> 00:07:30,342
...that I said I may come back
and ask for a favor?
152
00:07:30,393 --> 00:07:32,460
Yeah.
Yeah.
153
00:07:32,506 --> 00:07:34,840
Well, that time has come.
154
00:07:38,866 --> 00:07:40,500
I'm in for ten.
155
00:07:40,509 --> 00:07:41,509
I call.
156
00:07:41,516 --> 00:07:43,050
Call.
Fold.
157
00:07:43,093 --> 00:07:44,493
So this was
the favor?
158
00:07:44,534 --> 00:07:46,402
Yeah. They just wanted
a place to play poker.
159
00:07:46,413 --> 00:07:47,412
Johnny:
Hey.
160
00:07:47,419 --> 00:07:49,020
I want to thank you guys
161
00:07:49,030 --> 00:07:50,897
for letting us
use your place.
162
00:07:50,942 --> 00:07:52,442
Oh.
Salut.
163
00:07:52,450 --> 00:07:54,284
Salut. Salut. Yeah.
164
00:07:56,073 --> 00:07:57,974
(Exhales)
165
00:07:57,985 --> 00:08:00,953
(Gagging)
166
00:08:02,412 --> 00:08:04,680
You know, ever since
our last three places
167
00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:07,928
burned down in mysterious
yet unsolvable circumstances,
168
00:08:07,980 --> 00:08:11,049
it's been tough
to get a game together.
169
00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:12,767
How could we refuse?
170
00:08:12,810 --> 00:08:14,377
(Laughs)
Yeah.
171
00:08:14,387 --> 00:08:16,388
You couldn't.
172
00:08:17,405 --> 00:08:19,106
Salut.
173
00:08:19,149 --> 00:08:20,149
Salut.
174
00:08:22,236 --> 00:08:23,603
(Exhales):
Yah...
175
00:08:23,644 --> 00:08:26,079
Oh, okay.
176
00:08:26,093 --> 00:08:27,226
Mmm, yeah.
177
00:08:27,233 --> 00:08:28,667
(Exhales): Ah... uh-huh.
178
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:30,009
Yes.
Yeah!
179
00:08:30,017 --> 00:08:31,150
Edna.
180
00:08:31,191 --> 00:08:32,191
Where have you been?
181
00:08:32,197 --> 00:08:33,897
Hiding.
182
00:08:33,907 --> 00:08:35,908
Edna no like Italians.
183
00:08:35,954 --> 00:08:37,221
Shh.
184
00:08:37,229 --> 00:08:38,696
What? Why not?
185
00:08:38,737 --> 00:08:41,672
They come to this country,
no learn English
186
00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:43,690
and take all the jobs.
187
00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:47,481
I just hope they wrap
it up before somebody
188
00:08:47,492 --> 00:08:49,293
says something that
could offend them.
189
00:08:49,303 --> 00:08:51,504
So I bought my ma one of them
medical alert bracelets,
190
00:08:51,517 --> 00:08:53,518
just in case anything
should happen, God forbid.
191
00:08:53,529 --> 00:08:54,596
God forbid. God forbid. God forbid.
192
00:08:54,603 --> 00:08:55,603
There is no God.
193
00:08:55,609 --> 00:08:56,976
Men:
Oh!
194
00:08:56,984 --> 00:08:59,185
(Fake laughing)
195
00:08:59,198 --> 00:09:02,033
Ha ha ha, he's just
kidding, obviously.
196
00:09:02,049 --> 00:09:04,050
Look at that face.
197
00:09:05,973 --> 00:09:08,308
Oh, yeah,
I get it now.
198
00:09:08,321 --> 00:09:10,455
So, Shecky, why don't
you sit down at the table,
199
00:09:10,468 --> 00:09:11,601
play a few hands?
200
00:09:11,642 --> 00:09:13,242
No thanks.
201
00:09:13,251 --> 00:09:15,252
Gambling's for morons.
No offense.
202
00:09:17,511 --> 00:09:20,446
Well, I'll play.
203
00:09:20,497 --> 00:09:23,098
Uh, no, dad. You actually need
money to play in a poker game.
204
00:09:23,147 --> 00:09:25,148
Ah.
205
00:09:26,936 --> 00:09:29,938
How about you,
troll on the end of a pencil?
206
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:34,607
Uh...
207
00:09:34,617 --> 00:09:37,819
Yeah. Yeah, okay,
I'll play a few games.
208
00:09:37,837 --> 00:09:39,071
What?
209
00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:40,646
Yeah, dude.
210
00:09:40,655 --> 00:09:43,257
It's an honor to sit in
a mob poker game.
211
00:09:45,921 --> 00:09:47,421
He's right.
212
00:09:47,430 --> 00:09:49,765
You know, we had several of
those make-a-wish kids sit in.
213
00:09:49,778 --> 00:09:52,179
You know, the smiles on their
faces make them almost forget
214
00:09:52,193 --> 00:09:54,828
they're about to get
whacked by God.
215
00:09:54,877 --> 00:09:56,510
There is no God.
216
00:09:56,519 --> 00:09:57,519
Men:
Oh!
217
00:09:59,236 --> 00:10:02,505
How about you, chipmunk head?
218
00:10:02,524 --> 00:10:05,092
You want to sit in,
or are you too busy
219
00:10:05,106 --> 00:10:08,576
gathering nuts for
the long winter months ahead?
220
00:10:08,628 --> 00:10:11,797
Uh, yeah, you know,
I-I really shouldn't.
221
00:10:11,815 --> 00:10:15,150
My-my wife camila has me
on an allowance, so I...
222
00:10:15,203 --> 00:10:17,170
An allowance?
Yeah.
223
00:10:17,215 --> 00:10:20,183
I guess your wife has been
gathering your nuts.
224
00:10:20,234 --> 00:10:21,234
(Laughter)
225
00:10:32,309 --> 00:10:34,310
Hey, let me help you.
226
00:10:34,321 --> 00:10:35,320
No!
227
00:10:35,327 --> 00:10:37,328
You no take my job!
228
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:40,248
(Speaking Spanish)
229
00:10:40,258 --> 00:10:41,258
No.
230
00:10:41,264 --> 00:10:43,698
No!
Whoa!
231
00:10:45,490 --> 00:10:47,391
(Slurring):
Okay!
232
00:10:50,152 --> 00:10:51,219
Salut!
233
00:10:51,259 --> 00:10:52,893
(Laughs)
234
00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:54,036
All right.
235
00:10:54,077 --> 00:10:56,845
I see your 20...
Here you go...
236
00:10:56,860 --> 00:10:58,761
And I raise you $100.
237
00:10:58,772 --> 00:11:00,439
Sounds like you got
a pretty good hand.
238
00:11:00,483 --> 00:11:02,117
Oh, yeah.
239
00:11:02,127 --> 00:11:03,594
(Laughing)
240
00:11:03,636 --> 00:11:05,637
All in.
241
00:11:13,195 --> 00:11:14,795
All in?
(Stammers)
242
00:11:14,805 --> 00:11:16,473
I don't...
I don't have as-as much...
243
00:11:16,482 --> 00:11:18,816
Many, um, uh... chips as you.
244
00:11:21,010 --> 00:11:22,577
I'll tell you what.
What?
245
00:11:22,620 --> 00:11:25,622
You win, you get
all the money on the table.
246
00:11:25,639 --> 00:11:28,307
I win, I get...
247
00:11:28,322 --> 00:11:29,823
Your company.
248
00:11:29,865 --> 00:11:32,433
Aw, you want
to hang out with me?
249
00:11:32,482 --> 00:11:35,550
Yeah. Yeah.
I am good company.
250
00:11:35,567 --> 00:11:39,337
No, no, no, your business,
your video game company.
251
00:11:39,358 --> 00:11:41,359
Ghost child? Oh, no.
252
00:11:41,370 --> 00:11:43,304
No, I don't... no, I c... no.
253
00:11:43,315 --> 00:11:45,550
No, I'd have to talk to Eli
about that.
254
00:11:45,596 --> 00:11:46,863
Oh, you hear that?
255
00:11:46,871 --> 00:11:49,005
Chip can't make a move
without checking with Dale.
256
00:11:49,017 --> 00:11:51,018
(Men laugh)
257
00:11:52,894 --> 00:11:54,728
I can, too.
258
00:11:54,739 --> 00:11:56,339
All in.
259
00:11:56,348 --> 00:11:59,217
Well, good luck, son.
260
00:11:59,233 --> 00:12:01,234
There's only two hands
that can beat you.
261
00:12:01,279 --> 00:12:02,212
Four aces.
262
00:12:02,252 --> 00:12:04,253
And that's one of 'em.
263
00:12:06,076 --> 00:12:08,744
(Panting)
264
00:12:08,759 --> 00:12:10,727
Oh, thank God.
265
00:12:10,771 --> 00:12:12,438
What's the matter,
honey?
266
00:12:12,448 --> 00:12:15,050
Oh, I had the most
insane dream.
267
00:12:15,064 --> 00:12:18,733
Were you an elegant
lady in this one, too?
268
00:12:18,754 --> 00:12:21,022
(Knocking)
269
00:12:21,069 --> 00:12:23,170
(Screams)
270
00:12:23,182 --> 00:12:24,682
It's a home invasion!
271
00:12:24,690 --> 00:12:26,291
The lady next door
has diamonds
272
00:12:26,301 --> 00:12:30,404
and her alarm password
is "password."
273
00:12:30,426 --> 00:12:32,894
Hey, chipmunk,
you're late for work.
274
00:12:32,941 --> 00:12:36,411
Oh, my God, it
wasn't a dream.
275
00:12:36,431 --> 00:12:38,698
I gambled the company
away to the mafia.
276
00:12:38,710 --> 00:12:40,511
You what?
277
00:12:40,556 --> 00:12:41,756
Come on, Warner.
278
00:12:41,797 --> 00:12:43,098
You got to get to
work before
279
00:12:43,105 --> 00:12:45,172
all the good tracksuits
are taken.
280
00:12:50,685 --> 00:12:52,653
Where do you get off
gambling away
281
00:12:52,697 --> 00:12:54,832
my half of the company?!
282
00:12:54,878 --> 00:12:57,446
Eli, I-I...
You know, I was drunk.
283
00:12:57,494 --> 00:12:58,694
And-and I was up
284
00:12:58,735 --> 00:13:02,071
eight dollars
before I-I lost the company.
285
00:13:03,599 --> 00:13:05,600
And I d... you know,
I-I really don't think
286
00:13:05,611 --> 00:13:07,078
that much has changed.
287
00:13:13,828 --> 00:13:17,331
My desk is now a stripper pole?
288
00:13:17,384 --> 00:13:19,852
We all make mistakes, all right?
289
00:13:19,866 --> 00:13:23,202
You remember l-last year when
you messed up my lunch order?
290
00:13:25,636 --> 00:13:27,737
You lost our company!
291
00:13:27,782 --> 00:13:29,916
You don't know
what rye bread is!
292
00:13:33,081 --> 00:13:37,618
Warner, you got to get all
of this out of here now.
293
00:13:41,199 --> 00:13:44,468
How 'bout a dance, big boy?
294
00:13:46,398 --> 00:13:48,599
Warner, you have got
to get everyone except her
295
00:13:48,611 --> 00:13:49,778
out of here right now.
296
00:13:50,825 --> 00:13:53,026
Hey. What-what's your name?
297
00:13:53,038 --> 00:13:55,039
White wine.
Yeah, it is.
298
00:13:56,895 --> 00:13:58,596
Hey,
299
00:13:58,639 --> 00:14:02,242
where do you guys keep
your cocaine scale?
300
00:14:02,296 --> 00:14:06,867
Johnny, Johnny,
we-we got to talk.
301
00:14:06,925 --> 00:14:07,992
Sure thing.
302
00:14:07,998 --> 00:14:09,632
I got an open-door policy.
303
00:14:09,675 --> 00:14:11,442
Unless it's a complaint.
304
00:14:11,452 --> 00:14:13,687
Then I got an open
window policy.
305
00:14:13,700 --> 00:14:15,935
Right, fellas?
306
00:14:15,981 --> 00:14:18,182
Oh, they're all out back.
Hey, guys, give me an "oh!"
307
00:14:18,194 --> 00:14:20,262
Men:
Oh!
308
00:14:21,314 --> 00:14:22,982
Johnny, I...
309
00:14:22,991 --> 00:14:24,925
You-you have to give us back
our company,
310
00:14:24,936 --> 00:14:27,404
and-and I'm gonna have
to ask you to leave.
311
00:14:27,451 --> 00:14:30,954
What exactly
are you trying to say?
312
00:14:32,013 --> 00:14:34,748
Look, this-this is our company.
313
00:14:34,764 --> 00:14:36,565
Mine and Eli's.
314
00:14:36,608 --> 00:14:39,243
We never signed
a contract with you.
315
00:14:39,292 --> 00:14:41,493
There-there are rules
to business, my friend.
316
00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:42,840
Rules.
317
00:14:42,881 --> 00:14:44,782
Now, look,
I-I don't want
318
00:14:44,826 --> 00:14:48,496
to scare you, but if you don't
give us back our company,
319
00:14:48,516 --> 00:14:50,750
you'll be getting a letter.
320
00:14:52,675 --> 00:14:55,510
Capisce?
321
00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:58,562
I say "capisce" to people.
Nobody says "capisce" to me.
322
00:14:58,578 --> 00:14:59,978
Capisce?
323
00:15:00,020 --> 00:15:03,556
No, I don't capisce! Capisce?!
324
00:15:03,610 --> 00:15:06,845
Did you just double-capisce me,
you son of a bitch?!
325
00:15:08,473 --> 00:15:12,042
It's time for you
to leave, Johnny.
326
00:15:14,108 --> 00:15:16,509
If that's the way you feel.
327
00:15:16,523 --> 00:15:19,425
I appreciate your honesty.
328
00:15:23,533 --> 00:15:25,200
Hey, you know what?
329
00:15:25,210 --> 00:15:27,111
Let's go for a ride.
330
00:15:27,155 --> 00:15:28,155
A ride?
331
00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:30,162
Warner, run!
332
00:15:35,357 --> 00:15:37,224
I can't believe they
took my best friend.
333
00:15:37,235 --> 00:15:38,769
I know.
334
00:15:38,778 --> 00:15:41,446
I can't believe
you let them.
335
00:15:41,461 --> 00:15:43,729
Let them? What was
I supposed to do?
336
00:15:43,742 --> 00:15:45,042
They're bigger than me.
337
00:15:45,084 --> 00:15:46,551
Everybody's bigger than you.
338
00:15:46,559 --> 00:15:48,593
Really? Now?
339
00:15:48,639 --> 00:15:51,974
Okay, I got Johnny's
cell phone number.
340
00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:55,128
I'm sure we can
reason with him.
341
00:15:55,179 --> 00:15:56,313
Johnny (Recorded):
This is Johnny.
342
00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:57,620
If you're calling
to reason with me,
343
00:15:57,628 --> 00:15:59,629
forget about it.
344
00:16:01,116 --> 00:16:03,951
Well, I don't care if we have
to drive down every street
345
00:16:03,967 --> 00:16:06,369
in this city,
we're gonna go find him.
346
00:16:06,416 --> 00:16:08,918
Eli, I can tell you
where they're going.
347
00:16:14,164 --> 00:16:16,532
We really bonded
at that lap dance.
348
00:16:17,719 --> 00:16:21,455
Johnny has a warehouse
at the end of Anchor avenue.
349
00:16:21,476 --> 00:16:22,609
I can take you there.
350
00:16:22,616 --> 00:16:24,951
No, white wine,
you stay here.
351
00:16:24,997 --> 00:16:26,831
And try to...
352
00:16:26,876 --> 00:16:30,011
Try to get those last two
ping-pong balls out, okay?
353
00:16:40,158 --> 00:16:42,426
Hey, did-did I ever
tell you that
354
00:16:42,472 --> 00:16:45,941
in High School, I was voted most
likely to gladly change my name
355
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,162
and-and move to another country?
356
00:16:52,368 --> 00:16:55,303
This fugacci computer
says we're in the ocean.
357
00:16:55,319 --> 00:16:57,587
Oh, yeah, you just have
to, uh, uh, download
358
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,667
the-the latest operating system
and, uh...
359
00:16:59,679 --> 00:17:02,248
And-and upgrade the interface.
360
00:17:02,295 --> 00:17:05,531
Who are you,
bill nye the science squalootz?
361
00:17:05,549 --> 00:17:08,951
(Laughs):
That's funny.
362
00:17:09,003 --> 00:17:11,572
Do you mind if I...
Do you mind if I try to fix it?
363
00:17:11,587 --> 00:17:13,321
Yeah, okay.
364
00:17:13,331 --> 00:17:14,865
Yeah, let me just, uh...
365
00:17:14,874 --> 00:17:17,175
(Beeping)
366
00:17:17,188 --> 00:17:19,356
A second to reboot.
Yeah, there it is.
367
00:17:19,401 --> 00:17:22,069
Hey, you're pretty good at
this computer crap. Yeah.
368
00:17:22,084 --> 00:17:24,019
You ever think about starting
your own business?
369
00:17:24,064 --> 00:17:28,568
Well, I did, but the, uh...
The mafia took it over.
370
00:17:28,625 --> 00:17:31,093
Oh, right, right.
Sorry.
371
00:17:31,141 --> 00:17:34,377
Sometimes you forget the reason
you're about to whack somebody.
372
00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:35,962
Tell me about it.
373
00:17:35,971 --> 00:17:38,973
I've had this string tied
around my finger for two months.
374
00:17:38,989 --> 00:17:43,626
Somebody's walking around
unstrangled... I don't know.
375
00:17:46,670 --> 00:17:49,505
Eli, what exactly is your plan
when we get there?
376
00:17:49,521 --> 00:17:51,389
I don't know. Do you
think we can lure them
377
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:52,867
into a house of mirrors?
378
00:17:52,876 --> 00:17:54,010
(Groans)
379
00:17:54,017 --> 00:17:57,486
Why do I have to come?
He's not my son.
380
00:17:58,645 --> 00:18:01,047
Crawford, Johnny's your friend.
Mm-hmm.
381
00:18:01,060 --> 00:18:03,261
I mean, you don't think he'd
actually hurt Warner, right?
382
00:18:03,307 --> 00:18:05,642
I don't know.
You know, Johnny talks big,
383
00:18:05,655 --> 00:18:08,056
but the worst thing
I've ever seen him do
384
00:18:08,070 --> 00:18:09,604
is strangle a racehorse.
385
00:18:13,504 --> 00:18:15,838
Nobody insults Johnny Johnny
Desalvo Desalvo
386
00:18:15,851 --> 00:18:17,385
and lives to talk about it.
387
00:18:17,394 --> 00:18:18,594
Men:
Yeah!
388
00:18:18,602 --> 00:18:21,471
Any last words before you sleep
with the fishes?
389
00:18:21,487 --> 00:18:25,190
Eli: Yeah. Let
our friend go.
390
00:18:28,631 --> 00:18:32,901
What are you gambrozzis
doing here?
391
00:18:32,924 --> 00:18:36,760
Wait, uh, is "gambrozzis"
a bad thing?
392
00:18:36,781 --> 00:18:39,783
It's a neutral term.
393
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:41,801
Okay. Good.
394
00:18:41,812 --> 00:18:43,046
Well, we came
for Warner!
395
00:18:43,054 --> 00:18:44,054
Yeah!
396
00:18:45,704 --> 00:18:47,671
Hey, guys.
397
00:18:47,682 --> 00:18:50,050
What are you doing here?
Warner! (Exhales)
398
00:18:50,098 --> 00:18:52,032
We thought
they were gonna whack you.
399
00:18:52,043 --> 00:18:53,577
Johnny:
Yeah, yeah,
400
00:18:53,619 --> 00:18:55,553
we were, but then, uh,
chipmunk-head here said
401
00:18:55,564 --> 00:19:00,302
he could hook up my intranet
with five-point-oh!
402
00:19:00,361 --> 00:19:02,762
Yeah, these guys were
in the stone ages.
403
00:19:02,810 --> 00:19:05,978
Th-this guy here thought Google
was a type of bird.
404
00:19:05,995 --> 00:19:07,496
(Laughs)
405
00:19:07,538 --> 00:19:10,507
I-it's true, I did.
I don't know.
406
00:19:10,557 --> 00:19:13,092
Wait, if-if you aren't mad
at Warner,
407
00:19:13,106 --> 00:19:14,707
then who were you threatening?
408
00:19:16,125 --> 00:19:18,126
Please help me!
409
00:19:20,553 --> 00:19:24,089
Warner hooked up this, uh,
new program called skippy.
410
00:19:24,142 --> 00:19:25,642
Skype.
411
00:19:31,319 --> 00:19:32,987
Makes my life so much easier.
412
00:19:32,997 --> 00:19:37,167
Now I can sit around whacking
in my pajamas all day.
413
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:42,670
I got to get a computer.
414
00:19:42,690 --> 00:19:46,359
Wait, Mr. Desalvo, it-it sounds
like Warner did you a favor.
415
00:19:46,379 --> 00:19:49,248
Doesn't that mean
you owe him one?
416
00:19:49,298 --> 00:19:52,634
I suppose it does,
my little lotus blossom.
417
00:19:56,677 --> 00:19:59,445
Warner, you can have
your company back.
418
00:19:59,494 --> 00:20:01,495
(Chuckles)
419
00:20:02,881 --> 00:20:05,883
Johnny...
420
00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:08,435
You know,
beneath all that bluster,
421
00:20:08,449 --> 00:20:09,916
you got a giant heart.
422
00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:12,193
You're a good man,
423
00:20:12,206 --> 00:20:14,374
and I'm proud
to call you friend.
424
00:20:15,427 --> 00:20:17,428
Come here.
(Chuckles)
425
00:20:19,250 --> 00:20:21,051
Isn't anybody gonna do anything?
426
00:20:21,061 --> 00:20:22,295
Hey!
427
00:20:22,336 --> 00:20:24,404
You bet on the bucks
and you lost, you scumbag.
428
00:20:24,415 --> 00:20:25,682
So just sit still,
429
00:20:25,690 --> 00:20:27,958
and somebody will be there
to whack you shortly.
430
00:20:34,041 --> 00:20:35,575
(Johnny's voice):
Hey, you gambrozzis,
431
00:20:35,618 --> 00:20:37,485
I'm meatball,
the talking meatball,
432
00:20:37,496 --> 00:20:39,097
and I'm in a video game.
433
00:20:39,106 --> 00:20:42,074
It's funny, right?
434
00:20:43,131 --> 00:20:44,798
It is kind of funny.
435
00:20:44,808 --> 00:20:47,243
I can't believe this tested
higher than any character
436
00:20:47,256 --> 00:20:49,257
we've ever created.
437
00:20:52,052 --> 00:20:55,888
I'll be your consigliere on your
journey from bag boy to don.
438
00:20:55,909 --> 00:20:58,745
So grab your whatchamacallit,
uh, controller?
439
00:20:58,761 --> 00:21:00,628
My sister's kid could tell you.
440
00:21:00,639 --> 00:21:03,374
All day long
with these video game machines.
441
00:21:03,389 --> 00:21:04,923
He's got diabetes.
442
00:21:04,932 --> 00:21:07,934
The good kind, thank God.
443
00:21:09,729 --> 00:21:12,731
And then it basically goes on
like that for the next 40 hours.
444
00:21:12,748 --> 00:21:14,348
Wow.
445
00:21:14,357 --> 00:21:16,392
Hey. Where'd you get
that fur coat?
446
00:21:16,437 --> 00:21:17,437
Mind your business.
447
00:21:19,389 --> 00:21:21,690
Our place just looks
so boring now.
448
00:21:21,737 --> 00:21:23,204
What happened
to all the bada-bling?
449
00:21:23,246 --> 00:21:24,246
Yeah, I got rid of it.
450
00:21:24,252 --> 00:21:25,252
All of it?
451
00:21:25,258 --> 00:21:27,393
Every last piece.
452
00:21:27,405 --> 00:21:30,707
(Rock music playing)
453
00:21:38,675 --> 00:21:40,676
(Music ends)
454
00:21:43,874 --> 00:21:46,342
My turn!
(Music resumes)
455
00:21:51,230 --> 00:21:55,382
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
456
00:21:55,432 --> 00:21:59,982
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
32204
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