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1
00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:19,595
Dads is recorded in front
of a live studio audience.
2
00:00:19,596 --> 00:00:22,691
Oh, what a weird movie.
3
00:00:22,692 --> 00:00:25,143
I know.
Vin Diesel always looks like
4
00:00:25,144 --> 00:00:27,563
he can't decide
what he's smelling.
5
00:00:29,148 --> 00:00:30,399
He's, like...
6
00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:32,467
Gasoline...?
7
00:00:32,485 --> 00:00:33,902
(Sniffs)
8
00:00:33,903 --> 00:00:35,654
No.
9
00:00:35,688 --> 00:00:37,573
It's cake.
10
00:00:37,607 --> 00:00:39,575
Come here.
11
00:00:40,860 --> 00:00:42,744
(Chuckles)
12
00:00:46,499 --> 00:00:48,533
Pretend I no here.
13
00:00:49,586 --> 00:00:51,036
Edna...
14
00:00:51,087 --> 00:00:52,838
It's okay,
you-you can go.
15
00:00:52,839 --> 00:00:54,590
Okay. Thank you, Mr. Eli.
16
00:00:54,624 --> 00:00:55,623
Thank you.
17
00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:02,381
Wha... E-Edna, wha...
18
00:01:02,432 --> 00:01:04,716
What are you doing?
19
00:01:04,767 --> 00:01:07,970
Tomorrow I work from home.
20
00:01:09,171 --> 00:01:11,172
Where were we?
21
00:01:12,525 --> 00:01:14,693
Eli, there's something
you should know.
22
00:01:14,694 --> 00:01:16,194
Uh, okay.
23
00:01:16,195 --> 00:01:18,397
Do you want to see
if I can guess?
24
00:01:18,448 --> 00:01:20,198
Maybe we both say it
at the same time.
25
00:01:20,233 --> 00:01:22,034
Okay, one, two...
26
00:01:22,035 --> 00:01:23,485
You're bisexual.
I have a son.
27
00:01:23,519 --> 00:01:25,370
You have a son.
28
00:01:25,371 --> 00:01:26,872
Yeah.
29
00:01:28,408 --> 00:01:30,876
If-if you want to break up,
I understand.
30
00:01:30,877 --> 00:01:32,711
No, no. Are you kidding?
31
00:01:32,712 --> 00:01:34,162
I-I love kids.
32
00:01:34,163 --> 00:01:38,133
Why, I would rent a baby
six times a year...
33
00:01:38,134 --> 00:01:40,752
If that were legal.
34
00:01:40,803 --> 00:01:42,370
Well, Gene is 12.
35
00:01:42,371 --> 00:01:45,390
Well, you know what, Elsa?
I like you.
36
00:01:45,391 --> 00:01:47,092
So I'm still in.
37
00:01:47,143 --> 00:01:48,894
(Chuckles)
38
00:01:48,928 --> 00:01:51,480
Eli.
39
00:01:51,481 --> 00:01:54,399
You have company?
Yes.
40
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:56,551
Is it girl company?
41
00:01:56,569 --> 00:01:58,553
Yes.
42
00:01:58,554 --> 00:02:01,106
Does she by any chance
have any q-tips?
43
00:02:03,225 --> 00:02:05,410
I guess I have
to tell you...
44
00:02:05,411 --> 00:02:08,030
I have a dad.
45
00:02:10,232 --> 00:02:14,119
Daddy took me to the zoo
46
00:02:14,170 --> 00:02:16,237
na, na, na, na
47
00:02:16,238 --> 00:02:20,241
Just to see
something brand-new
48
00:02:20,242 --> 00:02:22,210
Na, na, na, ooh
49
00:02:22,244 --> 00:02:27,015
So many stars up in the sky
50
00:02:27,016 --> 00:02:30,919
so many questions have I
51
00:02:30,920 --> 00:02:32,971
na, na, na, na
52
00:02:32,972 --> 00:02:34,545
Daddy took me for a ride.
53
00:02:34,546 --> 00:02:38,484
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.Addic7ed.Com/
54
00:02:38,728 --> 00:02:40,529
(whistling a tune)
55
00:02:40,530 --> 00:02:41,947
Hey.
56
00:02:41,948 --> 00:02:43,782
That was, uh...
57
00:02:43,783 --> 00:02:45,817
A beautiful woman
you had here last night.
58
00:02:45,868 --> 00:02:48,603
Yeah. Things are getting
kind of serious. Mm.
59
00:02:48,621 --> 00:02:50,906
There's one thing
I can't figure out.
60
00:02:50,907 --> 00:02:53,408
Why is she with you?
61
00:02:56,112 --> 00:02:59,781
Well, believe it or not, dad,
she likes my personality.
62
00:02:59,782 --> 00:03:01,666
No.
63
00:03:01,667 --> 00:03:03,468
No way that's it.
64
00:03:06,005 --> 00:03:07,622
Well, she's gonna
introduce me to her son.
65
00:03:07,623 --> 00:03:08,840
That's it.
66
00:03:09,892 --> 00:03:12,127
Okay, now it makes sense.
67
00:03:12,128 --> 00:03:14,146
Little piece of advice,
68
00:03:14,180 --> 00:03:16,848
take it or leave it.
69
00:03:16,849 --> 00:03:18,900
Run...!
70
00:03:24,190 --> 00:03:26,191
(Crawford screams)
71
00:03:28,361 --> 00:03:30,662
Wh-what?
72
00:03:30,663 --> 00:03:32,414
Oh, nothing.
My doctor says
73
00:03:32,415 --> 00:03:34,499
I should make a noise
every few minutes
74
00:03:34,500 --> 00:03:37,536
to make sure
I'm still alive.
75
00:03:37,587 --> 00:03:38,920
Hey, hey.
Hey.
76
00:03:38,921 --> 00:03:40,155
Easy-e!
77
00:03:40,156 --> 00:03:41,322
E-dog!
78
00:03:41,323 --> 00:03:42,824
Eli-Eli-oh!
79
00:03:45,161 --> 00:03:46,511
Are you on something?
80
00:03:46,546 --> 00:03:49,014
No. I'm just on the couch.
81
00:03:49,015 --> 00:03:51,099
I got into a fight
last night with camila.
82
00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:52,667
(Chuckles):
It was great.
83
00:03:54,170 --> 00:03:55,670
I never realized
how comfortable
84
00:03:55,671 --> 00:03:58,223
my couch was.
I haven't slept that good
85
00:03:58,224 --> 00:04:01,443
since I was in a coma
for two days.
86
00:04:01,444 --> 00:04:04,229
(Laughs):
I feel so alive.
87
00:04:04,230 --> 00:04:05,564
(Screams)
88
00:04:05,565 --> 00:04:07,849
Me, too.
89
00:04:07,867 --> 00:04:10,535
So, did you go out
last night?
90
00:04:10,570 --> 00:04:12,237
Yeah, yeah,
I had another date with Elsa.
91
00:04:12,238 --> 00:04:13,688
It's actually getting
kind of serious.
92
00:04:13,689 --> 00:04:15,740
Wow, number three...
The third date kid.
93
00:04:15,792 --> 00:04:18,043
Yeah, it's good; We're, like,
texting all the time.
94
00:04:18,044 --> 00:04:19,861
It's all, like...
(High-pitched): Bwoo, boo,
95
00:04:19,862 --> 00:04:21,880
bwoo, boo, bwoo-bwoo,
96
00:04:21,881 --> 00:04:24,416
bwoo-bwoo, boo, boo, boo.
97
00:04:25,534 --> 00:04:27,135
Well, I keep my phone
on vibrate.
98
00:04:27,170 --> 00:04:31,223
Ooh, wh... Where do you keep
your phone on vibrate?
99
00:04:31,257 --> 00:04:35,343
In a manila folder with
a sexual harassment complaint.
100
00:04:36,429 --> 00:04:38,814
Actually, you guys
can help me.
101
00:04:38,848 --> 00:04:40,048
Elsa has a 12-year-old son.
102
00:04:40,049 --> 00:04:41,349
I'm supposed
to meet him tonight.
103
00:04:41,383 --> 00:04:45,604
Just do your grover voice:
Hey, kid, how's it goin'?
104
00:04:45,655 --> 00:04:47,555
I'm serious, though...
This is a kid
105
00:04:47,556 --> 00:04:50,775
being raised by a single mom
with no dad.
106
00:04:50,776 --> 00:04:53,078
This is me.
I can help this kid.
107
00:04:53,112 --> 00:04:55,914
Yes! Yes! Eli to the rescue.
108
00:04:55,915 --> 00:04:58,166
I love energized Warner.
109
00:04:58,167 --> 00:04:59,251
This is great.
110
00:04:59,252 --> 00:05:00,902
Hey, you know,
we got that meeting
111
00:05:00,903 --> 00:05:02,921
with the big-box retailers
this week... maybe you want
112
00:05:02,922 --> 00:05:05,624
to pick a fight with camila,
sleep on the couch all week.
113
00:05:05,675 --> 00:05:06,958
(Laughs):
That's ridiculous.
114
00:05:06,959 --> 00:05:09,094
I'm not gonna just
pick a fight for no reason.
115
00:05:09,128 --> 00:05:10,762
Look at the way
this towel is folded,
116
00:05:10,763 --> 00:05:12,931
and look at the way
this towel is folded.
117
00:05:12,932 --> 00:05:14,799
So?
118
00:05:14,851 --> 00:05:17,418
So, you used two different
folding techniques.
119
00:05:17,419 --> 00:05:19,271
One t... one towel's square
120
00:05:19,272 --> 00:05:20,522
while the other one's
a rectangle.
121
00:05:20,523 --> 00:05:22,140
What kind of country
are we living in,
122
00:05:22,141 --> 00:05:24,759
crazy-Stan?!
123
00:05:24,777 --> 00:05:27,145
I don't know what
your problem is tonight,
124
00:05:27,146 --> 00:05:29,114
but I'm gonna go
sleep on the couch.
125
00:05:29,115 --> 00:05:30,282
Oh, no, no, no, no!
126
00:05:30,283 --> 00:05:32,043
No, no, no, no, I'm gonna
sleep on the couch.
127
00:05:32,068 --> 00:05:33,068
No, I...
Nuh...
128
00:05:33,069 --> 00:05:34,119
You know what? Fine.
129
00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:36,037
Okay.
Okay.
130
00:05:36,038 --> 00:05:38,039
131
00:05:42,628 --> 00:05:44,129
Mm.
So, Gene,
132
00:05:44,130 --> 00:05:45,947
tell Eli about
your school.
133
00:05:48,467 --> 00:05:50,785
I go to a school.
134
00:05:52,171 --> 00:05:53,788
He's a little shy
with strangers.
135
00:05:53,789 --> 00:05:55,640
Let me just get dessert.
136
00:06:00,462 --> 00:06:03,464
(Like grover):
So, what's up, buddy!
137
00:06:07,469 --> 00:06:09,637
Hey, uh, do you like
skateboarding?
138
00:06:09,638 --> 00:06:12,240
Man, I loved skateboarding
when I was your age,
139
00:06:12,241 --> 00:06:14,609
mostly 'cause
of back to the future.
140
00:06:14,643 --> 00:06:17,362
I've never heard of that.
141
00:06:17,363 --> 00:06:20,031
I'm not a thousand.
142
00:06:20,082 --> 00:06:22,650
Uh, do you like video games?
143
00:06:22,651 --> 00:06:23,535
I guess.
144
00:06:23,536 --> 00:06:24,703
Oh, cool.
145
00:06:24,704 --> 00:06:26,288
You should come
to my office, ghost child games.
146
00:06:26,322 --> 00:06:27,455
Ghost child?
147
00:06:27,456 --> 00:06:29,791
All your games suck.
148
00:06:31,544 --> 00:06:33,011
Listen, Gene...
149
00:06:33,012 --> 00:06:36,164
I know how hard it is
to grow up without a dad.
150
00:06:36,182 --> 00:06:39,267
So that's why all
your games suck?
151
00:06:39,302 --> 00:06:41,636
No, I'm just...
I'm saying that...
152
00:06:41,637 --> 00:06:44,055
Like, if you ever
want someone to talk to,
153
00:06:44,056 --> 00:06:45,307
I'm here for you.
154
00:06:45,341 --> 00:06:48,944
Is everyone else in
the world but you dead?
155
00:06:48,978 --> 00:06:49,978
(Chuckles softly)
156
00:06:49,979 --> 00:06:51,313
Come on, come on, buddy,
157
00:06:51,314 --> 00:06:53,014
I'm just...
I'm just trying to connect.
158
00:06:56,569 --> 00:06:58,903
Oop! Oop!
159
00:06:58,955 --> 00:07:00,538
What? I'm just
trying to connect
160
00:07:00,539 --> 00:07:03,541
my fist with your face.
161
00:07:03,576 --> 00:07:06,027
Uh, what are you...
Hey, hey...
162
00:07:06,028 --> 00:07:07,662
(Nervous laugh)
163
00:07:08,864 --> 00:07:10,582
Are you and
my mom doing it?
164
00:07:10,583 --> 00:07:12,867
(Laughs):
Uh, ge...
165
00:07:12,868 --> 00:07:14,369
Gene...
166
00:07:14,370 --> 00:07:17,389
That is wildly inappropriate.
167
00:07:17,423 --> 00:07:20,091
You know I came out of
there 12 years ago.
168
00:07:22,061 --> 00:07:25,480
I was nine pounds
and 18 inches.
169
00:07:25,481 --> 00:07:28,049
What are you?
170
00:07:37,410 --> 00:07:39,995
Less, obviously.
171
00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:48,718
Man:
Are you sick of high prices
172
00:07:48,719 --> 00:07:51,254
and parking lots
you can't land a plane in?
173
00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:53,389
I'm Ken.
I'm Jim.
174
00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:56,008
And this is Texas big box! Texas!
175
00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:58,761
We got the lowest prices
in all of... Texas!
176
00:07:58,762 --> 00:08:01,147
Are you sick of mom
and pop's high prices?
177
00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:02,265
Well, so are we.
178
00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:04,066
Scram!
179
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:05,718
Go on! You git!
180
00:08:07,771 --> 00:08:10,239
Just in case they didn't die
in the wheelchair crash.
181
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,658
We're offering
Texas-sized values
182
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,694
at Rhode Island-
sized prices.
183
00:08:14,728 --> 00:08:16,912
Look at that little
twerp state, Rhode Island.
184
00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:18,197
(Squeaky voice):
"I'm Rhode Island."
185
00:08:18,198 --> 00:08:20,416
Get off my country!
186
00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:22,034
Whoo-hoo!
187
00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:23,419
So whether
you're looking
188
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:25,755
for shrimp or
a basketball court,
189
00:08:25,756 --> 00:08:27,790
you come on down
to Texas big box!
190
00:08:27,791 --> 00:08:29,792
Texas!
Whoo-hoo!
191
00:08:31,378 --> 00:08:33,095
Texas!
192
00:08:33,130 --> 00:08:35,381
They seem like jerks.
193
00:08:35,382 --> 00:08:37,516
Jerks that
can make us rich.
194
00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:39,418
(Laughs):
Why are you being so negative?
195
00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:45,591
(Sighs) Last night
I met Elsa's son, and...
196
00:08:45,592 --> 00:08:48,527
He bullied me.
(Veronica laughing)
197
00:08:48,562 --> 00:08:52,114
No way! Is he single?
198
00:08:52,149 --> 00:08:54,317
I'm serious.
Like, he almost punched me.
199
00:08:54,368 --> 00:08:55,968
Well, did you
almost punch him back?
200
00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:58,621
No! I can't hit a 12-year-old.
201
00:08:58,622 --> 00:09:01,907
His mom would never
sleep with me again.
202
00:09:01,941 --> 00:09:04,243
(Both laughing)
203
00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:05,961
I'm gonna go watch
the karate kid.
204
00:09:05,996 --> 00:09:07,913
Uh, no, you are not.
205
00:09:07,947 --> 00:09:09,415
You are gonna go and test out
206
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:10,750
the hockey death match prototype
for tomorrow's meeting.
207
00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:12,301
(Whining):
I don't want to.
208
00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:15,304
(Gasps) All right,
all right, yes, ma'am.
209
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:19,642
God, that was good.
I can't eat another bite.
210
00:09:19,643 --> 00:09:22,127
Oh, thank you. I spent almost
ten minutes ordering it.
211
00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:23,929
(Laughs)
212
00:09:23,963 --> 00:09:25,481
Um...
213
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:29,134
Hey, Elsa, has... has Gene been
having any trouble in school?
214
00:09:29,135 --> 00:09:32,971
What do you mean? Well, I don't
know how to tell you this, but he...
215
00:09:32,972 --> 00:09:35,991
I mean, your son...
Bullied me.
216
00:09:37,027 --> 00:09:38,778
What?
217
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:42,531
Yeah, the other night at dinner,
he... he almost punched me.
218
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,149
I don't know,
219
00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:46,118
I think he needs
to talk to somebody,
220
00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:48,170
like a therapist or maybe a...
221
00:09:48,171 --> 00:09:51,323
Priest with no penis,
so there's no funny business.
222
00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:54,627
Okay, listen, if you're
not man enough to be with me
223
00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:56,929
because I have a son, fine,
wha...?
224
00:09:56,963 --> 00:09:59,965
But don't just invent things
that are wrong with him.
225
00:09:59,999 --> 00:10:04,770
Oh... oh, don't go into
thing-gathering mode.
226
00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:06,439
Oh, I am gathering.
227
00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:08,190
What? Come on.
And by the way...
228
00:10:09,226 --> 00:10:11,944
...your sex face is stupid.
229
00:10:14,564 --> 00:10:17,983
Yeah, well, the back
of your head is stupid!
230
00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:23,656
Hi.
Hey.
231
00:10:42,759 --> 00:10:44,927
Where is she?
232
00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:49,265
Oh, I'm on to your little plan.
233
00:10:49,266 --> 00:10:52,885
Faking fights
so you can sleep on the couch.
234
00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:58,023
(Weakly):
Wh-what are you talking about?
235
00:10:58,024 --> 00:11:00,225
Camila: When we got in
that fight last night,
236
00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:01,894
you made one little mistake.
237
00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:03,896
You left your day planner open,
and it said,
238
00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:06,899
"fake fight with camila
so I can sleep on couch."
239
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,501
It's the paper trail.
240
00:11:08,502 --> 00:11:11,069
The paper trail, you fool.
241
00:11:11,070 --> 00:11:12,538
So now...
242
00:11:12,572 --> 00:11:14,072
We're in a real fight.
243
00:11:14,073 --> 00:11:15,424
I'm gonna go to bed.
244
00:11:15,459 --> 00:11:16,675
These are yours.
245
00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:17,743
Good night.
246
00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:26,418
Warner... Warner, will
you stop wiggling?
247
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:28,938
That's just
what your mother used to do,
248
00:11:28,939 --> 00:11:33,025
up all night with her stomach
pills and her heart pills.
249
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:36,278
She had a cute angina.
250
00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:39,615
Yeah, she sure did.
251
00:11:45,071 --> 00:11:47,072
(Shouts)
(Shouts)
252
00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:50,543
Thank you.
Oh, you're welcome.
253
00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:52,294
(Phone chimes)
254
00:11:52,329 --> 00:11:55,998
Oh. Looks like Elsa
wants to make up with me.
255
00:11:55,999 --> 00:11:58,133
(Phone chimes)
Oh.
256
00:11:58,134 --> 00:12:00,002
And it looks like she...
257
00:12:00,003 --> 00:12:02,004
Oh, wow.
258
00:12:03,006 --> 00:12:06,291
Oh, wow. Okay. Uh...
259
00:12:06,292 --> 00:12:07,927
Uh, hey, would you guys,
260
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:12,264
uh, get out of here and maybe
not come back for an hour?
261
00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:14,299
Could you guys... could you guys
just split, like, for a sec?
262
00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:16,018
Just g-get out...
Like, get out of the house
263
00:12:16,019 --> 00:12:18,303
and then, like, not-not
come back for an hour?
264
00:12:18,304 --> 00:12:20,138
Just... would you get out?!
265
00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:22,408
Come on, Edna.
266
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:24,122
Let's go down
to the computer store and see
267
00:12:24,143 --> 00:12:28,330
if we can ask so many questions
the guy quits.
268
00:12:28,365 --> 00:12:30,165
What is computer?
269
00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:32,451
That'll be our first question.
270
00:12:34,204 --> 00:12:36,205
(Door shuts)
271
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,766
(Knocking)
272
00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:50,836
Damn it.
273
00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:55,474
(Exhales)
274
00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:57,776
Uh...
275
00:12:57,811 --> 00:12:59,194
Hey, Gene. Uh...
276
00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:00,446
Where's your mom?
277
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:01,847
I borrowed her phone.
278
00:13:01,848 --> 00:13:05,451
So congratulations,
you just sexted a 12-year-old.
279
00:13:08,187 --> 00:13:10,372
(Chuckles)
Come in.
280
00:13:10,373 --> 00:13:12,041
So...
281
00:13:12,075 --> 00:13:14,994
Give me $100.
282
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:18,213
What? Your mom and I aren't
even dating anymore.
283
00:13:18,248 --> 00:13:20,749
(Mockingly): "Your mom and I
aren't even dating anymore."
284
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,168
Okay.
285
00:13:23,202 --> 00:13:27,172
(Sighs) Gene, I know that being
a kid can be tough.
286
00:13:27,206 --> 00:13:29,642
You know, you've got all
this anger and emotion.
287
00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:31,927
You don't know how
to express yourself.
288
00:13:31,928 --> 00:13:35,397
But being a bully,
that's not the answer.
289
00:13:35,432 --> 00:13:36,649
You're right.
290
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:38,851
I guess I'm just sad
because my dad left.
291
00:13:39,886 --> 00:13:41,654
See? I totally get that.
292
00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:42,771
Can we talk about it?
293
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:43,856
Absolutely.
294
00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:45,574
Can I have a glass
of apple juice first?
295
00:13:45,609 --> 00:13:46,859
Yes, of course you can.
296
00:13:46,893 --> 00:13:50,412
What single guy
doesn't have apple juice?
297
00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:53,582
Uh, let me see. I
got some water, an oj,
298
00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:55,584
almond milk, soy milk,
299
00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:58,253
chocolate soy milk,
vanilla soy milk,
300
00:13:58,254 --> 00:13:59,455
coconut milk,
actual milk,
301
00:13:59,456 --> 00:14:02,124
bloody Mary mix,
302
00:14:02,125 --> 00:14:03,876
clam juice...
Ew, thank you, dad...
303
00:14:03,910 --> 00:14:06,428
Uh, tonic, pickle juice.
304
00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:08,297
Oh, here it is.
One apple juice coming up.
305
00:14:08,298 --> 00:14:10,299
Get ready. Catch.
306
00:14:14,471 --> 00:14:16,472
Gene?
307
00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:20,559
Wh...
308
00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:23,562
Oh, my g...
309
00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:25,364
My jacket. David: I'm not looking.
310
00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:27,399
I just forgot my glasses.
311
00:14:29,936 --> 00:14:31,236
Dad, the...
312
00:14:31,270 --> 00:14:33,739
The prototype to our game...
It was in my jacket.
313
00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:36,075
That-that little bastard,
he just stole it!
314
00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:39,712
"He"?
315
00:14:41,498 --> 00:14:44,299
Elsa's a guy?
316
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,668
Your son is bullying
317
00:14:52,702 --> 00:14:55,437
my son.
318
00:14:55,472 --> 00:14:57,673
Well, your son is a liar.
319
00:14:57,707 --> 00:14:58,841
What? No, I'm not.
320
00:14:58,875 --> 00:15:01,543
You said, "this usually
doesn't happen."
321
00:15:01,544 --> 00:15:04,430
And then it happened.
322
00:15:05,966 --> 00:15:08,550
Your son took my son's game
323
00:15:08,584 --> 00:15:10,219
and his jacket.
324
00:15:10,253 --> 00:15:12,054
I need that game.
It's my only copy.
325
00:15:12,055 --> 00:15:13,522
I need it
for a big meeting tomorrow.
326
00:15:13,556 --> 00:15:15,524
He's lying. He gave me those.
327
00:15:15,558 --> 00:15:18,227
Well, that's that.
328
00:15:18,261 --> 00:15:21,096
Wha... don't make me
get stern with you.
329
00:15:21,114 --> 00:15:22,564
Don't make me
get stern...
330
00:15:22,598 --> 00:15:24,266
Hey!
...With you!
331
00:15:24,267 --> 00:15:27,036
(Screams):
Ow!
332
00:15:28,771 --> 00:15:30,773
(Hisses, exhales)
333
00:15:33,576 --> 00:15:35,961
Single moms have become
a lot more dangerous
334
00:15:35,962 --> 00:15:38,964
since I used to leave 'em.
335
00:15:39,966 --> 00:15:41,967
Hey.
336
00:15:46,289 --> 00:15:47,556
Wake up.
337
00:15:47,590 --> 00:15:49,308
Sorry. I had to sleep
with my dad last night
338
00:15:49,309 --> 00:15:50,976
and he, uh...
He was having a dream.
339
00:15:50,977 --> 00:15:54,129
He kept yelling,
"pick me, pick me, pick me."
340
00:15:54,147 --> 00:15:57,483
Well, they wouldn't pick me,
and I wanted them to.
341
00:15:57,517 --> 00:15:58,467
Well, they didn't!
342
00:15:58,468 --> 00:16:00,486
Because I'm white.
343
00:16:03,156 --> 00:16:04,606
So did you get the game?
344
00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:06,641
Nope. And it just goes to show,
345
00:16:06,642 --> 00:16:08,143
when me and my dad
work together,
346
00:16:08,144 --> 00:16:10,446
there is nothing we can do.
347
00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:11,497
Veronica:
Look, we can't give up.
348
00:16:11,531 --> 00:16:12,664
Give me your phone.
349
00:16:12,665 --> 00:16:14,833
There.
Oh.
350
00:16:16,753 --> 00:16:19,338
Hi. Gene? This is Veronica.
351
00:16:19,339 --> 00:16:21,840
I work for your mom's
loser ex-boyfriend.
352
00:16:21,875 --> 00:16:24,710
So, what's it gonna take for you
to bring this game down here
353
00:16:24,711 --> 00:16:25,928
in the next 15 minutes?
354
00:16:25,929 --> 00:16:28,297
Ice cream? Stuffed animals?
355
00:16:28,298 --> 00:16:31,300
You got boobs?
356
00:16:31,301 --> 00:16:32,768
What?
357
00:16:32,769 --> 00:16:37,773
Do... you...
Have... boobs?
358
00:16:37,774 --> 00:16:39,775
Y-yeah.
359
00:16:39,776 --> 00:16:41,310
Describe them.
360
00:16:41,311 --> 00:16:44,780
De... well...
361
00:16:44,781 --> 00:16:48,367
Well, to me, they're
just boring nothings.
362
00:16:48,368 --> 00:16:51,320
No, they're not.
363
00:16:51,321 --> 00:16:53,322
They're boobs.
364
00:16:55,358 --> 00:16:57,409
Listen... why don't I
come over there
365
00:16:57,410 --> 00:16:59,878
and show them to you if
you give me back that game.
366
00:16:59,879 --> 00:17:02,548
Can I invite friends?
367
00:17:02,549 --> 00:17:04,550
No. I'll be right over.
368
00:17:04,551 --> 00:17:05,550
(Phone beeps off)
369
00:17:05,552 --> 00:17:06,802
What happened?
370
00:17:06,836 --> 00:17:07,889
I have a plan.
371
00:17:07,921 --> 00:17:09,171
Howdy, boys.
372
00:17:09,205 --> 00:17:10,224
Stall them.
373
00:17:10,256 --> 00:17:12,141
Hope you don't mind us
being early,
374
00:17:12,142 --> 00:17:14,643
but we finished seeing
everything in San Francisco.
375
00:17:14,644 --> 00:17:15,710
Oh, yeah.
376
00:17:15,728 --> 00:17:17,813
Yeah, we saw a bridge,
a twisty street
377
00:17:17,847 --> 00:17:20,549
and a gay fella.
378
00:17:20,567 --> 00:17:21,850
That-that about covers it.
379
00:17:21,851 --> 00:17:23,819
(Nervous laugh)
380
00:17:23,853 --> 00:17:26,822
So, can we get a look
at this new game?
381
00:17:26,856 --> 00:17:28,991
Oh, yes. Uh, soon.
It's just, um...
382
00:17:28,992 --> 00:17:30,578
R-rendering.
383
00:17:30,610 --> 00:17:34,113
(Chuckles) I don't understand
all your fancy computer terms.
384
00:17:34,114 --> 00:17:36,365
That's why God created nerds!
385
00:17:36,399 --> 00:17:38,400
(Guffawing)
386
00:17:40,420 --> 00:17:42,538
Eli:
I-it'll...
387
00:17:42,572 --> 00:17:43,755
It'll only take a minute.
388
00:17:43,756 --> 00:17:46,258
Things have really slowed down
around here...
389
00:17:46,259 --> 00:17:49,178
Because of... obamacare.
390
00:17:53,766 --> 00:17:55,684
Are you wearing cologne?
391
00:17:56,719 --> 00:17:58,387
(Doorbell rings)
392
00:17:58,388 --> 00:17:59,754
Get out!
393
00:17:59,772 --> 00:18:00,889
Get out, get out.
394
00:18:00,890 --> 00:18:01,889
Get out!
395
00:18:01,891 --> 00:18:02,890
No.
396
00:18:06,896 --> 00:18:08,230
Wow.
397
00:18:08,231 --> 00:18:11,452
Those are not boring nothings.
398
00:18:11,484 --> 00:18:12,767
Give me game.
399
00:18:12,785 --> 00:18:14,236
Wait, you're not the lady
400
00:18:14,237 --> 00:18:15,270
I talked to on the phone.
401
00:18:15,288 --> 00:18:17,206
Veronica send me instead.
402
00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:18,574
Aren't you Eli's maid?
403
00:18:18,608 --> 00:18:20,609
S??.
I think you should leave.
404
00:18:20,627 --> 00:18:22,296
Not without game.
405
00:18:22,328 --> 00:18:27,135
Eli gave that game
to my...
406
00:18:27,167 --> 00:18:29,218
Son.
407
00:18:30,970 --> 00:18:32,807
Now...
408
00:18:32,839 --> 00:18:34,840
We can do this easy way
409
00:18:34,841 --> 00:18:39,061
or easy oven way.
410
00:18:39,095 --> 00:18:41,983
We are not giving you anything.
411
00:18:42,015 --> 00:18:46,320
(Screaming)
412
00:18:47,904 --> 00:18:49,905
This place is a mess.
413
00:18:56,112 --> 00:18:57,412
If you need maid,
414
00:18:57,447 --> 00:19:00,148
I free on tuesday and thursdays.
415
00:19:08,444 --> 00:19:11,479
So, that is
hockey death match.
416
00:19:11,513 --> 00:19:12,730
What do you think?
417
00:19:12,765 --> 00:19:13,815
We love it.
418
00:19:13,849 --> 00:19:15,350
That's great,
great, great.
419
00:19:15,351 --> 00:19:16,985
Um, so how many units?
420
00:19:17,019 --> 00:19:18,152
All of 'em.
421
00:19:18,187 --> 00:19:20,355
Really?
Oh.
422
00:19:20,356 --> 00:19:22,690
Uh, b-but we always
hold back some production
423
00:19:22,691 --> 00:19:24,392
for the independent
game shops.
424
00:19:24,410 --> 00:19:26,577
Those are the guys we're
trying to put out of business.
425
00:19:26,612 --> 00:19:28,246
Jim:
Independent game shops.
426
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:30,448
We want to stomp
on the little guys' throats
427
00:19:30,449 --> 00:19:34,035
and then urinate
into their faces.
428
00:19:34,069 --> 00:19:36,120
But they helped put
our company on the map.
429
00:19:36,121 --> 00:19:39,457
You know, I-I... yeah, it's... if you
urinate on the independent game shops,
430
00:19:39,458 --> 00:19:42,243
that's like urinating
on us, and I'm not...
431
00:19:42,261 --> 00:19:43,678
Warner:
Yeah. Yeah.
432
00:19:43,712 --> 00:19:47,715
I'm not gonna let anybody
urinate on me. No.
433
00:19:47,716 --> 00:19:49,717
Not again.
434
00:19:52,104 --> 00:19:54,272
Well, those are the terms.
435
00:19:54,306 --> 00:19:55,890
Go ahead and...
436
00:19:55,924 --> 00:19:58,259
Sign these papers.
437
00:19:58,277 --> 00:20:01,029
You know what?
I'm sorry. We...
438
00:20:01,030 --> 00:20:03,064
We have to turn you down.
439
00:20:03,098 --> 00:20:05,033
Excuse me?
440
00:20:05,067 --> 00:20:08,403
Yeah, you...
You guys are bullies.
441
00:20:08,404 --> 00:20:10,405
And I'm tired
of being pushed around.
442
00:20:10,406 --> 00:20:13,441
I've been bullied
all week.
443
00:20:13,459 --> 00:20:15,776
By who?
444
00:20:15,794 --> 00:20:17,879
By a 12-year-old
and his single mom,
445
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:19,613
but that's not important.
What is im...
446
00:20:19,631 --> 00:20:20,965
What is important
is that
447
00:20:20,999 --> 00:20:24,618
someone needs to...
Stand up and do what's right.
448
00:20:24,636 --> 00:20:27,055
Gentlemen, we're
getting off track.
449
00:20:27,056 --> 00:20:28,840
We love your game.
450
00:20:28,841 --> 00:20:31,976
What's it gonna take for us
to get it up on our shelves?
451
00:20:32,010 --> 00:20:34,462
You know what?
Forget it.
452
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:35,980
$2 million.
453
00:20:40,469 --> 00:20:41,969
$3 million.
454
00:20:45,974 --> 00:20:47,808
$4 million. Eli: Oh, my gosh.
455
00:20:47,826 --> 00:20:50,644
Stop offering us money.
Stop it.
456
00:20:50,662 --> 00:20:55,616
You boys drive a hard bargain,
and I respect that.
457
00:20:55,650 --> 00:20:57,752
We'll be back
in six months.
458
00:20:57,786 --> 00:20:59,787
We got a great
spot opening up
459
00:20:59,788 --> 00:21:03,324
right between tampons
and fried chicken.
460
00:21:07,012 --> 00:21:08,996
Oh, this is so great.
461
00:21:09,014 --> 00:21:11,549
A real bed.
462
00:21:11,550 --> 00:21:13,968
Oh, honey, thank you
for letting me back in.
463
00:21:14,002 --> 00:21:16,337
Yeah, well, you were
a complete jerk, but...
464
00:21:16,338 --> 00:21:18,606
I know you were working hard
to get that deal.
465
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:20,892
Yeah, the deal, the deal.
They, uh...
466
00:21:20,893 --> 00:21:24,195
It went great. They-they wanted
to buy our whole inventory.
467
00:21:24,229 --> 00:21:26,564
This is amazing!
468
00:21:26,565 --> 00:21:28,682
Are you kidding me? That's great.
Yeah, yeah.
469
00:21:28,683 --> 00:21:32,120
(Gasps) Now we can afford
to get your dad his own place.
470
00:21:32,154 --> 00:21:33,738
Well, actually, we-we, uh...
471
00:21:33,739 --> 00:21:35,689
We-we had to turn them down.
472
00:21:40,862 --> 00:21:43,531
Warner? Warner...
473
00:21:43,532 --> 00:21:46,467
They picked me.
474
00:21:49,427 --> 00:21:53,014
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
475
00:21:53,064 --> 00:21:57,614
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