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Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org
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I can't... I'm just...
3
00:00:13,972 --> 00:00:15,541
I-I don't know what to get.
4
00:00:15,542 --> 00:00:17,803
How about glasses?
5
00:00:18,890 --> 00:00:20,158
I don't need glasses.
6
00:00:20,159 --> 00:00:21,192
They're for old people.
7
00:00:21,193 --> 00:00:22,660
Why don't you
just order for me,
8
00:00:22,661 --> 00:00:24,996
and I'll sit here
and look youthful.
9
00:00:28,392 --> 00:00:29,390
Mm.
10
00:00:29,391 --> 00:00:31,588
Boy, I hope that was you.
11
00:00:31,589 --> 00:00:35,016
Seriously, you know what,
I can't see anything.
12
00:00:36,150 --> 00:00:38,315
You know, this is
our three-week anniversary. Oh.
13
00:00:38,316 --> 00:00:39,913
Not that I keep track
of anniversaries,
14
00:00:39,914 --> 00:00:41,812
'cause that'd be girly.
15
00:00:41,813 --> 00:00:44,412
But... But, if you want,
after this,
16
00:00:44,413 --> 00:00:45,843
we could go to Color Me Mine
17
00:00:45,844 --> 00:00:48,075
and make a couple of
anniversary mugs.
18
00:00:48,676 --> 00:00:50,741
Wow. That actually
sounds good to me.
19
00:00:50,742 --> 00:00:52,742
I must really like you.
20
00:00:54,075 --> 00:00:56,640
Nothing about you
bugs me yet; nothing.
21
00:00:56,641 --> 00:00:58,641
I mean, that's, like,
a new record for me.
22
00:00:58,641 --> 00:01:00,441
Although I got very close
when you announced
23
00:01:00,442 --> 00:01:02,774
your "no shoes" policy
at your house.
24
00:01:02,775 --> 00:01:04,107
Yeah, but you were back on board
25
00:01:04,108 --> 00:01:06,274
when I announced
the "no pants" policy.
26
00:01:06,875 --> 00:01:10,040
Yeah, I was on board.
27
00:01:10,808 --> 00:01:12,007
I love you.
28
00:01:12,008 --> 00:01:14,474
You're the best.
29
00:01:19,909 --> 00:01:21,042
You know, I'm really glad
30
00:01:21,043 --> 00:01:22,775
you don't throw
"I love you's" around,
31
00:01:22,776 --> 00:01:24,609
because I know,
when you actually say it,
32
00:01:24,610 --> 00:01:25,976
you're really
going to mean it.
33
00:01:25,977 --> 00:01:28,376
When do you think
that's going to be?
34
00:01:30,512 --> 00:01:31,677
Mm.
Oh.
35
00:01:31,678 --> 00:01:33,278
Sorry, I told
Ritchie to text me
36
00:01:33,279 --> 00:01:34,712
when he finished
his homework.
37
00:01:34,713 --> 00:01:36,013
And to be fair, I didn't think
38
00:01:36,014 --> 00:01:38,348
he knew how to text
or to finish his homework.
39
00:01:40,184 --> 00:01:41,450
Uh...
40
00:01:41,451 --> 00:01:45,353
Yeah, I can't-- uh,
can you, um, can you...?
41
00:01:45,354 --> 00:01:47,155
"I've been
thinking about you."
42
00:01:47,156 --> 00:01:48,088
Oh.
43
00:01:48,089 --> 00:01:49,522
"And I was wondering
44
00:01:49,523 --> 00:01:51,856
if you're free to get together
on Saturday night."
45
00:01:51,857 --> 00:01:54,590
Oh, cute.
46
00:01:54,591 --> 00:01:57,859
It's from someone
named Daniel Harris.
47
00:01:57,860 --> 00:01:58,792
Oh.
48
00:01:58,793 --> 00:02:01,294
Oh!
49
00:02:01,295 --> 00:02:02,462
You're kidding me.
50
00:02:02,463 --> 00:02:04,130
Daniel? Oh.
Give me that.
51
00:02:04,131 --> 00:02:05,464
Who's Daniel?
What? No.
52
00:02:05,465 --> 00:02:06,864
It's no one.
It's just an old boyfriend.
53
00:02:06,865 --> 00:02:08,399
Seriously, don't, give
me the phone, okay?
54
00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:09,699
Wow, this is quite a reaction.
55
00:02:09,700 --> 00:02:10,800
I don't remember you mentioning
56
00:02:10,801 --> 00:02:12,701
an old boyfriend named
Daniel Harris before.
57
00:02:12,702 --> 00:02:14,069
Well, there's nothing
wrong with that.
58
00:02:14,070 --> 00:02:15,136
I mean, that's not weird.
59
00:02:15,137 --> 00:02:16,304
That doesn't mean anything.
60
00:02:16,305 --> 00:02:17,371
Except that you've mentioned
61
00:02:17,372 --> 00:02:19,040
every other ex-boyfriend
you've ever had.
62
00:02:19,041 --> 00:02:23,343
Burton, Papa Jeff, Sad Dad,
Jack In The Box voice.
63
00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:26,111
Okay, so I've made
some bad choices,
64
00:02:26,112 --> 00:02:28,513
and I forgot to mention
Mr. Harris. So what?
65
00:02:28,514 --> 00:02:30,581
Yeah, well, I've been a
therapist long enough to know
66
00:02:30,582 --> 00:02:32,916
it's what you don't say that is
usually the most significant.
67
00:02:32,917 --> 00:02:34,417
Okay, I will just text him
68
00:02:34,418 --> 00:02:36,785
and tell him that
I'm involved with somebody.
69
00:02:36,786 --> 00:02:39,020
You don't have to.
70
00:02:39,021 --> 00:02:41,255
Wait, what?
71
00:02:41,256 --> 00:02:43,323
We've only been
going out for three weeks.
72
00:02:43,324 --> 00:02:44,657
We haven't said we're exclusive.
73
00:02:44,658 --> 00:02:47,359
We haven't even made
our anniversary mugs yet.
74
00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:50,328
So... go out with him,
if you want to.
75
00:02:50,329 --> 00:02:51,662
Well, I didn't
say I wanted to.
76
00:02:51,663 --> 00:02:53,364
Yeah, but you didn't say
you didn't want to.
77
00:02:53,365 --> 00:02:54,698
And I've been
a therapist long enough
78
00:02:54,699 --> 00:02:55,965
to know it's what you don't say
79
00:02:55,966 --> 00:02:57,533
that is usually the most...
Okay, okay.
80
00:02:57,534 --> 00:02:59,434
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
81
00:02:59,435 --> 00:03:01,335
Look at you, you're all
red-faced and sweaty.
82
00:03:01,336 --> 00:03:03,237
This guy's obviously
causing a reaction.
83
00:03:03,238 --> 00:03:06,773
I'm red-faced and sweaty because
I have had two glasses of wine
84
00:03:06,774 --> 00:03:10,643
and my date Spanx are
squeezing the life out of me.
85
00:03:10,644 --> 00:03:14,179
I think that's how
Houdini died.
86
00:03:14,180 --> 00:03:16,212
You know, you don't
have to be so flip.
87
00:03:16,213 --> 00:03:17,611
Okay, look, I think you should
explore these feelings.
88
00:03:17,612 --> 00:03:18,845
I think you should
go out with him.
89
00:03:18,846 --> 00:03:20,846
Well, if you don't
stop saying that,
90
00:03:20,846 --> 00:03:23,579
I will go out with him
just to teach you a lesson.
91
00:03:23,580 --> 00:03:24,579
I want you to.
92
00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:26,414
In fact, I'll do it
for you-- here:
93
00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:28,247
"That sounds great.
94
00:03:28,248 --> 00:03:29,779
"See you then.
95
00:03:29,780 --> 00:03:33,180
XXOO, LOL... USA."
96
00:03:33,181 --> 00:03:35,480
Yeah.
97
00:03:35,481 --> 00:03:38,448
Now, what looks good?
98
00:03:38,449 --> 00:03:44,449
Sync by deGroote.
www.addic7ed.com
99
00:03:44,576 --> 00:03:46,207
CHRISTINE:
Okay.
100
00:03:46,208 --> 00:03:47,839
Ritchie's playing video games.
101
00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:49,940
He's had no bath, no food...
102
00:03:49,941 --> 00:03:51,641
And no good role models.
103
00:03:51,642 --> 00:03:54,176
I can't believe you're
going through with this
104
00:03:54,177 --> 00:03:55,343
just to spite Max.
105
00:03:55,344 --> 00:03:56,844
What? It's not spite.
106
00:03:56,845 --> 00:03:59,646
He's practically dared me
to go out with Daniel.
107
00:03:59,647 --> 00:04:01,880
Well, did he
double-dog dare you?
108
00:04:01,881 --> 00:04:04,015
Well, because if not,
and your fingers were crossed,
109
00:04:04,016 --> 00:04:06,950
you can olly olly oxen free
and get out of it.
110
00:04:06,951 --> 00:04:08,685
Don't joke about this, Matthew.
111
00:04:08,686 --> 00:04:11,486
I totally overestimated
Max's feelings for me.
112
00:04:11,487 --> 00:04:13,487
You know, I told him
that I loved him,
113
00:04:13,488 --> 00:04:15,689
and he told me
he thought I was the best.
114
00:04:15,690 --> 00:04:18,092
You should be
used to that from Dad.
115
00:04:18,093 --> 00:04:21,527
He couldn't care less
if I go out with other guys.
116
00:04:21,528 --> 00:04:25,129
I'm so glad I'm not
in a relationship.
117
00:04:25,130 --> 00:04:26,931
No, I'm not.
118
00:04:26,932 --> 00:04:28,665
Look, there's no way
119
00:04:28,666 --> 00:04:30,067
going out with
some old boyfriend
120
00:04:30,068 --> 00:04:33,136
is going to make you forget
about your feelings for Max.
121
00:04:34,071 --> 00:04:37,140
Unless it's
this old boyfriend.
122
00:04:37,141 --> 00:04:39,142
CHRISTINE:
Wow.
123
00:04:39,143 --> 00:04:41,710
Mr. Harris,
you look great.
124
00:04:41,711 --> 00:04:44,413
Christine, I almost forgot
how beautiful you are.
125
00:04:45,015 --> 00:04:47,316
You, too.
126
00:04:48,518 --> 00:04:51,854
I-I mean, I think
you're beautiful.
127
00:04:51,855 --> 00:04:54,123
Well, things haven't
changed around here.
128
00:04:54,124 --> 00:04:55,457
Come on in.
129
00:04:55,458 --> 00:04:57,359
So, um...
130
00:04:57,360 --> 00:05:00,362
what do we have on
for tonight?
131
00:05:00,363 --> 00:05:02,130
Okay, my 25th high school
reunion is tonight.
132
00:05:02,131 --> 00:05:04,165
Oh.
Would you mind if we stop by there
133
00:05:04,166 --> 00:05:05,900
for a little bit
before we go to dinner?
134
00:05:05,901 --> 00:05:07,769
The Jaguars are expecting
me to make an appearance.
135
00:05:07,770 --> 00:05:09,104
You were a Jaguar?
136
00:05:09,105 --> 00:05:10,138
I was a Cougar!
137
00:05:10,139 --> 00:05:11,072
Still are.
138
00:05:11,073 --> 00:05:13,374
Oh.
139
00:05:13,375 --> 00:05:15,643
Thank you.
140
00:05:15,644 --> 00:05:18,212
No, wait,
I don't like that.
141
00:05:18,213 --> 00:05:19,947
It'll be quick. The team's
getting back together
142
00:05:19,948 --> 00:05:22,650
for a picture and they want
the quarterback in it, so...
143
00:05:22,651 --> 00:05:23,651
Oh, look at us.
144
00:05:23,652 --> 00:05:24,752
The cheerleader
and the quarterback.
145
00:05:24,753 --> 00:05:26,020
You weren't a cheerleader.
146
00:05:26,021 --> 00:05:28,156
I wore short skirts
147
00:05:28,157 --> 00:05:29,957
and I slept with
all the football players.
148
00:05:29,958 --> 00:05:32,660
What else would you
call it, Matthew?
149
00:05:33,762 --> 00:05:36,763
I would call Mr. Harris
a lucky man.
150
00:05:37,631 --> 00:05:39,432
Okay, it's been
two years.
151
00:05:39,433 --> 00:05:41,134
Is anyone ever going
to call me Daniel?
152
00:05:41,135 --> 00:05:42,601
Oh, well,
at this point, it seems
153
00:05:42,602 --> 00:05:45,203
disrespectful.
154
00:06:09,288 --> 00:06:10,354
Oh, hey.
155
00:06:10,355 --> 00:06:11,355
Hey.
156
00:06:11,356 --> 00:06:12,757
What you doing?
157
00:06:12,758 --> 00:06:14,892
I didn't want
to disturb you.
158
00:06:14,893 --> 00:06:19,096
Uh, you peering at me through
the window is disturbing.
159
00:06:19,097 --> 00:06:20,464
Uh, Christine's not here.
160
00:06:20,465 --> 00:06:22,699
Oh, I'm, I-I'm, I'm not
here about Christine.
161
00:06:22,700 --> 00:06:25,602
No, no, I, um, I-I
came over to see you
162
00:06:25,603 --> 00:06:27,603
about some, some
office business.
163
00:06:27,604 --> 00:06:28,971
Oh, we have
office business?
164
00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:29,872
Oh, yes.
165
00:06:29,873 --> 00:06:31,940
Um, regarding
lunch tomorrow...
166
00:06:31,941 --> 00:06:35,110
Mm-hmm.
...I thought we'd try this new restaurant, and I, uh,
167
00:06:35,111 --> 00:06:38,679
I brought the menu by
so you could peruse it.
168
00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:40,381
You're too late;
she's gone.
169
00:06:40,382 --> 00:06:41,916
Too late?
Who's gone?
170
00:06:41,917 --> 00:06:44,952
Where'd she go?
171
00:06:44,953 --> 00:06:47,421
You know tonight was
Christine's date
172
00:06:47,422 --> 00:06:48,922
and Mr. Harris
already picked her up,
173
00:06:48,923 --> 00:06:53,125
and, uh, once you go
Mr. Harris, you never go back.
174
00:06:54,427 --> 00:06:55,393
What's wrong with you?
175
00:06:55,394 --> 00:06:56,595
I thought
you liked her.
176
00:06:56,596 --> 00:06:57,596
I do.
177
00:06:57,597 --> 00:06:58,563
Yeah, but you set
her up
178
00:06:58,564 --> 00:06:59,631
on a date
with her ex-boyfriend.
179
00:06:59,632 --> 00:07:00,632
Look, I know
what I'm doing.
180
00:07:00,633 --> 00:07:03,168
I have a tendency
in relationships
181
00:07:03,169 --> 00:07:04,803
to, to hold on too tight.
182
00:07:04,804 --> 00:07:06,972
That's how I lost
my last two girlfriends...
183
00:07:06,973 --> 00:07:09,541
and-and my cat.
184
00:07:10,276 --> 00:07:11,677
And my housekeeper.
185
00:07:11,678 --> 00:07:14,179
So I just, I just-- I'm just
giving Christine some space.
186
00:07:14,180 --> 00:07:15,814
You know,
who was it that said
187
00:07:15,815 --> 00:07:17,249
"If you love something,
set it free.
188
00:07:17,250 --> 00:07:18,450
"If it comes back, it's yours.
189
00:07:18,451 --> 00:07:20,285
If it doesn't, it never was"?
190
00:07:20,286 --> 00:07:24,389
I think that was Baloo
from The Jungle Book.
191
00:07:24,390 --> 00:07:26,390
Wise bear.
192
00:07:26,391 --> 00:07:27,724
See, I take the
pressure off
193
00:07:27,725 --> 00:07:30,360
by letting her go out
with Mr. Harris,
194
00:07:30,361 --> 00:07:32,096
and it makes her want me more.
195
00:07:32,097 --> 00:07:33,631
You haven't seen Mr. Harris,
have you?
196
00:07:33,632 --> 00:07:36,467
No, why?
197
00:07:36,468 --> 00:07:39,371
That's him?
198
00:07:39,372 --> 00:07:41,706
God, he's beautiful.
199
00:07:41,707 --> 00:07:46,342
Why do you think
he's my screen saver?
200
00:07:47,779 --> 00:07:49,546
I wish I'd had that information
201
00:07:49,547 --> 00:07:51,615
before I encouraged her
to go out out with him,
202
00:07:51,616 --> 00:07:53,149
but, uh, it's fine.
203
00:07:53,150 --> 00:07:55,418
I mean, she obviously broke up
with him for a reason.
204
00:07:55,419 --> 00:07:56,719
No, actually,
he broke up with her.
205
00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:57,720
She was devastated.
206
00:07:57,721 --> 00:07:59,222
Ah.
207
00:07:59,223 --> 00:08:03,492
So many things I wish I had
known before I encouraged her.
208
00:08:03,493 --> 00:08:04,659
Is he boring?
209
00:08:04,660 --> 00:08:06,961
Delightful.
Conceited?
210
00:08:06,962 --> 00:08:08,496
Wouldn't you be?
211
00:08:08,497 --> 00:08:10,431
Bad in bed?
212
00:08:10,432 --> 00:08:12,799
Better than he has to be.
213
00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:14,233
Stupid?
214
00:08:14,234 --> 00:08:15,701
Not nearly as stupid as you.
215
00:08:15,702 --> 00:08:18,302
Oh, God.
216
00:08:19,605 --> 00:08:21,606
I am so glad
you could make it tonight.
217
00:08:21,607 --> 00:08:24,409
Hey, Daniel, I have
a confession to make.
218
00:08:24,410 --> 00:08:27,278
Boy, I hate
when dates start this way.
219
00:08:27,279 --> 00:08:30,348
I've been seeing someone,
and I thought it was serious,
220
00:08:30,349 --> 00:08:31,983
but then I just
found out it isn't,
221
00:08:31,984 --> 00:08:34,518
so I'm kind of in a
weird place right now.
222
00:08:34,519 --> 00:08:35,820
So you're just using me
as a rebound
223
00:08:35,821 --> 00:08:36,820
to get over your boyfriend.
224
00:08:36,821 --> 00:08:40,290
Yes, but I also
wanted you to see me,
225
00:08:40,291 --> 00:08:43,059
because I've lost three pounds
since you broke up with me.
226
00:08:43,060 --> 00:08:45,696
Okay.
227
00:08:45,697 --> 00:08:47,731
Actually, the reason
I brought you here tonight is
228
00:08:47,732 --> 00:08:49,534
because my old girlfriend
is going to be here
229
00:08:49,535 --> 00:08:51,702
and I didn't want
to show up alone.
230
00:08:51,703 --> 00:08:54,171
What?!
You're just using me?!
231
00:08:54,172 --> 00:08:55,805
I can't believe that.
232
00:08:55,806 --> 00:08:58,807
You just told me
you're doing the same thing.
233
00:08:58,808 --> 00:09:00,742
Oh, yeah, sorry.
234
00:09:00,743 --> 00:09:02,143
Since I've lost
all that weight,
235
00:09:02,144 --> 00:09:05,312
I've become
a little irrational.
236
00:09:05,313 --> 00:09:06,980
But I'm flattered
that you thought of me
237
00:09:06,981 --> 00:09:08,916
to show off
to your old girlfriend.
238
00:09:08,917 --> 00:09:11,084
Yeah, nothing will make Alison
angrier than me showing up
239
00:09:11,085 --> 00:09:13,919
with a pretty white woman
with a big butt.
240
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:16,187
Well, if it's a big butt
you want,
241
00:09:16,188 --> 00:09:19,723
I should take off
these date Spanx.
242
00:09:19,724 --> 00:09:22,026
Welcome back,
Jaguars.
243
00:09:22,027 --> 00:09:23,929
Hey, wait, you're not a Jaguar.
244
00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:24,831
She's a cougar.
245
00:09:24,832 --> 00:09:27,200
I said I didn't
like that.
246
00:09:27,201 --> 00:09:29,536
Okay, Jaguar plus one.
247
00:09:29,537 --> 00:09:31,706
We put your senior photos
on the name tags
248
00:09:31,707 --> 00:09:33,908
so everybody
can recognize you...
249
00:09:33,909 --> 00:09:36,178
although I recognize you.
250
00:09:36,179 --> 00:09:38,714
He was the first boy
that ever touched my bra.
251
00:09:38,715 --> 00:09:42,116
Yeah, I didn't want to;
she left it on my lunch tray.
252
00:09:44,820 --> 00:09:45,920
Oh, my God.
253
00:09:45,921 --> 00:09:48,924
Did you ever go through
an awkward phase?
254
00:09:48,925 --> 00:09:50,059
My senior picture,
255
00:09:50,060 --> 00:09:52,328
my acne medication
had dried my face out.
256
00:09:52,329 --> 00:09:55,498
I looked like a block
of Parmesan cheese
257
00:09:55,499 --> 00:09:58,802
with a Joan
Jett haircut.
258
00:09:58,803 --> 00:10:00,070
Yeah, but look
at you now
259
00:10:00,071 --> 00:10:03,106
with your beautiful skin and
your Linda Ronstadt haircut.
260
00:10:04,008 --> 00:10:06,377
That guy you're dating was
crazy to let you get away.
261
00:10:06,378 --> 00:10:07,978
Yeah, you're right.
Screw Max.
262
00:10:07,979 --> 00:10:09,446
He doesn't love me;
you love me.
263
00:10:09,447 --> 00:10:10,447
N-Now, remember,
I'm just using you
264
00:10:10,448 --> 00:10:13,350
to get to my old girlfriend.
Oh, yeah.
265
00:10:13,351 --> 00:10:16,820
Love comes in many forms.
266
00:10:16,821 --> 00:10:19,890
You sent her out on a date
with Mr. Harris?
267
00:10:19,891 --> 00:10:21,792
What's the matter with you?
268
00:10:21,793 --> 00:10:24,727
I was trying to give her
her space.
269
00:10:24,728 --> 00:10:26,395
It's Mr. Harris.
270
00:10:26,396 --> 00:10:28,631
That's like sending the fat kid
to the chocolate factory
271
00:10:28,632 --> 00:10:31,566
and expecting him
not to get sucked into a tube.
272
00:10:32,934 --> 00:10:36,402
Yeah, it's like sending me
out on a date with Mr. Harris.
273
00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:38,070
And I say that
as a straight man
274
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:40,638
with very confused feelings.
275
00:10:40,639 --> 00:10:42,473
This is not entirely
my fault, you know.
276
00:10:42,474 --> 00:10:43,808
I mean, in a
million years,
277
00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:45,142
I never thought Christine's
ex would look like that.
278
00:10:45,143 --> 00:10:49,580
I figured he'd
look like you.
279
00:10:49,581 --> 00:10:52,016
Fair enough.
280
00:10:52,017 --> 00:10:54,651
God, I screwed
everything up.
281
00:10:54,652 --> 00:10:56,685
So what are you going
to do about it? What can I do?
282
00:10:56,686 --> 00:10:58,918
I-I sent her on a date
with the sexiest man alive.
283
00:10:58,919 --> 00:11:00,184
I mean, look at him.
284
00:11:00,185 --> 00:11:03,048
He's-- I can't compete
with that.
285
00:11:03,049 --> 00:11:05,679
Why do you have a picture of
Mr. Harris on your cell phone?
286
00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:09,041
I asked Matthew
to forward it to me.
287
00:11:09,042 --> 00:11:11,240
It's not even
a good picture.
288
00:11:11,241 --> 00:11:14,572
Look at this-- of him
playing tennis with no shirt.
289
00:11:15,338 --> 00:11:17,199
Oh, I-I don't have that one.
Will you forward that one?
290
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:18,629
Could you do that
with me, too?
291
00:11:18,630 --> 00:11:20,996
Okay, guys, guys,
this is not exactly helping me.
292
00:11:20,997 --> 00:11:23,965
Fine. Send me
the tennis one, too.
293
00:11:25,735 --> 00:11:27,470
Look, you can't
just give up
294
00:11:27,471 --> 00:11:29,438
and let Mr. Harris
walk away with her.
295
00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:30,572
What am I supposed to do?
296
00:11:30,573 --> 00:11:31,573
Fight for her.
297
00:11:31,574 --> 00:11:32,841
That's all she's
ever wanted
298
00:11:32,842 --> 00:11:34,476
was someone to
fight for her.
299
00:11:34,477 --> 00:11:37,444
And to meet
Judge Judy.
300
00:11:38,046 --> 00:11:39,279
If I'd fought for her
301
00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:41,047
when we were going
through a hard time,
302
00:11:41,048 --> 00:11:42,549
we'd probably
still be married.
303
00:11:42,550 --> 00:11:45,318
Me, too.
304
00:11:45,319 --> 00:11:48,020
I'm sorry,
that's just not who I am.
305
00:11:48,021 --> 00:11:50,322
She's a grown woman.
She can make her own choices.
306
00:11:50,323 --> 00:11:53,058
Okay, first of all,
she's hardly a grown woman.
307
00:11:53,059 --> 00:11:55,727
She's still
losing teeth.
308
00:11:55,728 --> 00:11:57,929
And-And-And second,
she's only out with him
309
00:11:57,930 --> 00:12:00,397
because you forced her to.
You dared her.
310
00:12:00,398 --> 00:12:01,899
You dared her?!
311
00:12:01,900 --> 00:12:03,567
You can't dare Christine.
312
00:12:03,568 --> 00:12:07,237
That's like sending Matthew
out on a date with Mr. Harris.
313
00:12:08,940 --> 00:12:12,142
When you say it,
it sounds creepy.
314
00:12:12,143 --> 00:12:14,311
She'll do anything
on a dare.
315
00:12:14,312 --> 00:12:15,580
Anything?
316
00:12:15,581 --> 00:12:19,450
Anything.
317
00:12:20,518 --> 00:12:21,818
Except the laundry.
318
00:12:21,819 --> 00:12:25,120
And butt stuff.
319
00:12:32,167 --> 00:12:34,034
You know what?
320
00:12:34,035 --> 00:12:36,502
Before I was hurt,
but now I'm just angry.
321
00:12:36,503 --> 00:12:37,936
I told you,
it's not an insult.
322
00:12:37,937 --> 00:12:40,638
A big butt
is a good thing.
323
00:12:41,307 --> 00:12:43,376
No.
I'm talking about Max.
324
00:12:43,377 --> 00:12:46,010
You know, he practically
dared me to go out with you.
325
00:12:46,011 --> 00:12:47,211
You know me and dares.
326
00:12:47,212 --> 00:12:49,879
Oh, I remember.
Got us kicked out of Disneyland.
327
00:12:50,781 --> 00:12:52,915
Serve him right if I went
home with you tonight.
328
00:12:52,916 --> 00:12:54,517
Yeah.
329
00:12:54,518 --> 00:12:55,685
Alison deserves that, too.
330
00:12:55,686 --> 00:12:58,253
You know she broke up
with me because I wear Peds?
331
00:12:58,254 --> 00:13:00,655
Wha...? Peds?!
332
00:13:00,656 --> 00:13:04,459
You mean those little socks
with the balls on the back?
333
00:13:04,460 --> 00:13:06,160
No, no, not lady Peds.
334
00:13:06,161 --> 00:13:09,062
Peds... for men.
335
00:13:09,063 --> 00:13:12,296
⪠âª
336
00:13:12,297 --> 00:13:13,963
All right.
Well, you know what?
337
00:13:13,964 --> 00:13:15,297
Screw them.
338
00:13:15,298 --> 00:13:17,032
Max doesn't want me,
Alison doesn't want you,
339
00:13:17,033 --> 00:13:19,000
why are we even talking
about them? Yeah.
340
00:13:19,001 --> 00:13:20,902
It's pathetic trying to prove
something to two people
341
00:13:20,903 --> 00:13:23,103
who aren't here, instead
of enjoying each other.
342
00:13:23,104 --> 00:13:25,438
Huh. You enjoy me?
343
00:13:25,439 --> 00:13:26,939
I used to enjoy you.
344
00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:28,274
I used to enjoy you, too.
345
00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:29,575
We're so enjoyable together.
346
00:13:29,576 --> 00:13:30,976
Yeah!
347
00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:32,814
Maybe we should forget
about Max and Alison.
348
00:13:32,815 --> 00:13:34,550
I mean, they've obviously
forgotten about us.
349
00:13:34,551 --> 00:13:35,551
Well, that's true.
350
00:13:35,552 --> 00:13:36,752
Maybe we should see
351
00:13:36,753 --> 00:13:38,587
if there's anything
left between us.
352
00:13:38,588 --> 00:13:40,055
Oh!
353
00:13:40,056 --> 00:13:41,256
Is that a dare?
354
00:13:41,257 --> 00:13:42,824
What if it is?
355
00:13:42,825 --> 00:13:45,526
Well, get ready
for a cougar attack.
356
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:54,000
Hi.
357
00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:56,136
Is there a Daniel Harris
at this reunion?
358
00:13:56,137 --> 00:13:57,771
Oh, yeah, he's here.
359
00:13:57,772 --> 00:14:00,807
He got here about
22 minutes ago.
360
00:14:00,808 --> 00:14:02,809
He looks exactly the same.
361
00:14:02,810 --> 00:14:04,277
Look, I got a picture of him
362
00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:06,912
when he came in
on my cell phone.
363
00:14:06,913 --> 00:14:09,415
Could you forward
that to me?
364
00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:12,017
Okay, Max,
the crazy ends now.
365
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:12,984
Ooh, that's not crazy.
366
00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:15,086
That's my new
screen saver.
367
00:14:16,121 --> 00:14:18,823
Oh, hey, no one's supposed to
go in there without a name tag!
368
00:14:18,824 --> 00:14:19,824
Whoa, whoa.
369
00:14:19,825 --> 00:14:21,325
Can I get your names,
please?
370
00:14:21,326 --> 00:14:22,659
Emily...
371
00:14:22,660 --> 00:14:24,127
Are you kidding?
372
00:14:24,128 --> 00:14:26,295
It's me.
373
00:14:26,296 --> 00:14:28,596
Rhoda Zimmerman.
374
00:14:28,597 --> 00:14:30,597
Rhoda?
375
00:14:30,598 --> 00:14:32,598
You look a little...
376
00:14:32,599 --> 00:14:33,932
What?
377
00:14:33,933 --> 00:14:35,968
I look a little what, Emily?
378
00:14:35,969 --> 00:14:37,903
Oh, nothing.
379
00:14:37,904 --> 00:14:40,541
It's really nice to see you
again, Rhoda.
380
00:14:40,542 --> 00:14:42,542
Go, Jaguars!
381
00:14:45,213 --> 00:14:46,980
Name?
382
00:14:46,981 --> 00:14:48,748
Um... Patrick...
383
00:14:48,749 --> 00:14:50,950
McKinsey.
Oh, my God.
384
00:14:50,951 --> 00:14:53,651
You actually came.
385
00:14:53,652 --> 00:14:55,419
I wouldn't have recognized you.
386
00:14:55,420 --> 00:14:58,656
What, did you lose,
like 200 pounds?
387
00:14:58,657 --> 00:15:00,660
Oh, good God.
388
00:15:00,661 --> 00:15:02,028
Yeah, looks like.
389
00:15:02,029 --> 00:15:03,729
Oh, my gosh.
390
00:15:03,730 --> 00:15:05,731
I know why you're here.
391
00:15:05,732 --> 00:15:07,366
It's because of our vow.
392
00:15:07,367 --> 00:15:10,435
Oh, crap. A vow.
393
00:15:10,436 --> 00:15:11,569
Remember?
394
00:15:11,570 --> 00:15:13,405
We said if we were
both still single
395
00:15:13,406 --> 00:15:15,707
at our 25-year reunion,
we were going to do it.
396
00:15:15,708 --> 00:15:18,143
Are you ready
to get it on?
397
00:15:18,144 --> 00:15:20,712
Um... Oh, well,
don't worry about that.
398
00:15:20,713 --> 00:15:22,347
I'm not going to
hold you to it.
399
00:15:22,348 --> 00:15:24,349
No, I want you to.
400
00:15:24,350 --> 00:15:26,351
Hold me to it, Patrick.
401
00:15:26,352 --> 00:15:28,453
And don't let go.
402
00:15:28,454 --> 00:15:32,556
And don't try and ditch me,
because I will find you.
403
00:15:32,557 --> 00:15:34,925
Where am I going to go?
404
00:15:36,027 --> 00:15:38,595
Where am I going to go?
405
00:15:40,565 --> 00:15:42,632
I really had forgotten
how fun you are.
406
00:15:42,633 --> 00:15:44,868
Stupid Max.
407
00:15:44,869 --> 00:15:46,570
Are we still talking
about him?
408
00:15:46,571 --> 00:15:48,705
No, not now.
Now, we're talking about us.
409
00:15:48,706 --> 00:15:49,973
Oh, it's us already?
410
00:15:49,974 --> 00:15:51,974
Mm-hmm.
All right.
411
00:15:55,179 --> 00:15:56,546
Do you see her?
No.
412
00:15:56,547 --> 00:15:58,615
She's not near the mini
franks or the Mojitos,
413
00:15:58,616 --> 00:16:00,250
so she probably left.
414
00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:02,419
Oh, wait. Is that...
415
00:16:03,287 --> 00:16:04,754
Uh-oh.
What?
416
00:16:04,755 --> 00:16:06,656
Uh-oh.
417
00:16:06,657 --> 00:16:08,358
Uh, I just realized
you're right.
418
00:16:08,359 --> 00:16:11,260
Uh, Christine probably
needs some space.
419
00:16:12,463 --> 00:16:14,330
And possibly some
birth control.
420
00:16:14,331 --> 00:16:17,066
Come on, let's get
out of here. What? What are you...?
421
00:16:17,067 --> 00:16:18,534
MAX:
Oh, my God.
422
00:16:18,535 --> 00:16:20,469
I'm too late.
423
00:16:20,470 --> 00:16:22,504
She's kissing Prince Charming,
424
00:16:22,505 --> 00:16:25,073
and now they're going to
live happily ever after.
425
00:16:25,074 --> 00:16:27,108
They will! It's the law!
426
00:16:27,109 --> 00:16:28,710
I'm so sorry.
427
00:16:28,711 --> 00:16:30,712
I can't believe it.
428
00:16:30,713 --> 00:16:32,714
I lost her.
429
00:16:32,715 --> 00:16:35,183
I lost the woman I love.
430
00:16:35,184 --> 00:16:37,686
It's my housekeeper,
all over again.
431
00:16:37,687 --> 00:16:39,453
Wait, you love Christine?
432
00:16:39,454 --> 00:16:40,654
Of course I do.
433
00:16:40,655 --> 00:16:42,056
Well, why didn't you
tell her that?
434
00:16:42,057 --> 00:16:44,026
I didn't want to scare her.
435
00:16:44,027 --> 00:16:45,527
Besides, doesn't matter
now, anyway.
436
00:16:45,528 --> 00:16:47,529
She obviously has something
going on with Mr. Harris.
437
00:16:47,530 --> 00:16:50,265
And I'm not sure which one
I'm more jealous of.
438
00:16:50,266 --> 00:16:52,700
Oh, look, I-I knew her
with Mr. Harris.
439
00:16:52,701 --> 00:16:54,802
And it was okay, but it's
not what you guys had.
440
00:16:54,803 --> 00:16:56,970
I mean, it was more just
physical desire.
441
00:16:56,971 --> 00:16:58,905
Just sex, you know?
442
00:16:58,906 --> 00:17:01,374
I'm going to throw up
in your face. Okay, no.
443
00:17:01,375 --> 00:17:04,176
Listen, what I'm saying is
it's different with you.
444
00:17:04,177 --> 00:17:07,213
She laughs more with you,
she's more secure,
445
00:17:07,214 --> 00:17:09,216
she doesn't have
to try so hard.
446
00:17:09,217 --> 00:17:10,985
I mean, you make
her happy.
447
00:17:10,986 --> 00:17:12,554
I want to make her happy,
Matthew.
448
00:17:12,555 --> 00:17:13,589
I love her.
449
00:17:13,590 --> 00:17:15,290
Then go.
450
00:17:15,291 --> 00:17:18,560
Go be with my sister.
451
00:17:18,561 --> 00:17:22,731
God, everything I say
now sounds creepy.
452
00:17:28,104 --> 00:17:30,072
Huh.
453
00:17:30,073 --> 00:17:31,907
Yeah.
Right?
454
00:17:31,908 --> 00:17:34,443
Uh... what happened?
This used to be better.
455
00:17:34,444 --> 00:17:36,712
We didn't used to have
to work so hard.
456
00:17:36,713 --> 00:17:38,146
I think you're still
thinking about him.
457
00:17:38,147 --> 00:17:39,715
Who?
Max.
458
00:17:39,716 --> 00:17:40,983
Oh, no, I'm not.
459
00:17:40,984 --> 00:17:42,184
I don't care about him.
460
00:17:42,185 --> 00:17:45,220
Oh, my God!
Max is here!
461
00:17:45,221 --> 00:17:47,122
Hello, Christine.
462
00:17:47,123 --> 00:17:48,757
Mr. Harris.
463
00:17:48,758 --> 00:17:50,559
This is Max.
464
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:52,093
When I heard you were
seeing someone,
465
00:17:52,094 --> 00:17:56,164
I thought he'd, um,
look more like me.
466
00:17:56,165 --> 00:17:58,733
Fair enough.
467
00:17:59,602 --> 00:18:00,601
It's nice to meet you.
468
00:18:00,602 --> 00:18:01,669
I've heard a lot
about you.
469
00:18:01,670 --> 00:18:03,871
I'm a yellow belt.
470
00:18:04,473 --> 00:18:06,374
And I'm here to fight
for my woman.
471
00:18:06,375 --> 00:18:08,510
Isn't yellow belt
one above the lowest?
472
00:18:08,511 --> 00:18:10,711
Oh, yeah.
473
00:18:11,414 --> 00:18:12,847
Let's do this.
474
00:18:12,848 --> 00:18:15,183
I'm not going to fight you.
This is my reunion.
475
00:18:15,184 --> 00:18:16,551
People are dancing.
476
00:18:16,552 --> 00:18:18,553
All right then.
477
00:18:18,554 --> 00:18:21,055
Dance-off.
478
00:18:21,991 --> 00:18:23,225
Seriously?
479
00:18:23,226 --> 00:18:24,659
This is the guy you couldn't
stop talking about?
480
00:18:24,660 --> 00:18:26,895
Well, you know,
it's hard to explain love.
481
00:18:26,896 --> 00:18:28,730
I love you, too.
482
00:18:28,731 --> 00:18:29,765
What?
483
00:18:29,766 --> 00:18:30,766
You love me?
484
00:18:30,767 --> 00:18:32,100
Of course.
485
00:18:32,101 --> 00:18:34,369
Well, then, Max,
why didn't you say so?
486
00:18:34,370 --> 00:18:35,737
I was just trying to
give you your space.
487
00:18:35,738 --> 00:18:38,073
I don't want space,
I want you.
488
00:18:38,074 --> 00:18:39,774
Okay, what happened
to us?
489
00:18:39,775 --> 00:18:41,810
Oh, there's not going to
be an us-- I'm sorry.
490
00:18:41,811 --> 00:18:43,311
We're just not
attracted to--
491
00:18:43,312 --> 00:18:45,780
she's just not
attracted to you.
492
00:18:45,781 --> 00:18:48,783
I'm going to find Alison.
493
00:18:48,784 --> 00:18:50,352
Or anyone.
494
00:18:50,353 --> 00:18:52,920
Is Rhoda Zimmerman here?
495
00:18:53,522 --> 00:18:56,191
Are you having
a good time? No.
496
00:18:56,192 --> 00:18:57,558
The only thing worse than
your own reunion
497
00:18:57,559 --> 00:18:58,760
is someone else's reunion.
498
00:18:58,761 --> 00:19:02,163
Rhoda Zimmerman is
having a blast.
499
00:19:02,164 --> 00:19:05,800
I even won an award:
"Most Changed."
500
00:19:05,801 --> 00:19:08,636
I feel terrible.
501
00:19:08,637 --> 00:19:09,937
I told Emily the truth.
502
00:19:09,938 --> 00:19:11,506
She was devastated.
503
00:19:11,507 --> 00:19:13,007
That poor girl has nothing.
504
00:19:13,008 --> 00:19:14,141
What would it have hurt
505
00:19:14,142 --> 00:19:16,711
to have thrown her a little
vitamin Campbell?
506
00:19:16,712 --> 00:19:17,845
It wouldn't have been me,
507
00:19:17,846 --> 00:19:19,747
it would have been
Patrick McKinsey.
508
00:19:19,748 --> 00:19:21,916
I don't think she's ever
going to get over this.
509
00:19:21,917 --> 00:19:23,350
Mike Buttons?
510
00:19:23,351 --> 00:19:25,385
I didn't think
I'd see you here.
511
00:19:25,386 --> 00:19:27,855
Do you remember our vow?
512
00:19:27,856 --> 00:19:30,457
I hope you're ready
to get it on.
513
00:19:32,260 --> 00:19:34,261
Where you going?
514
00:19:34,262 --> 00:19:37,230
I'm going to go fight
for my woman.
515
00:19:39,834 --> 00:19:42,735
What were you thinking
showing up here like that?
516
00:19:42,736 --> 00:19:44,737
Threatening to fight
Mr. Harris?
517
00:19:44,738 --> 00:19:46,272
I don't know.
518
00:19:46,273 --> 00:19:47,607
You make me do
crazy things.
519
00:19:47,608 --> 00:19:49,275
You make me do
crazy things, too.
520
00:19:49,276 --> 00:19:51,543
I was going to sleep
with Mr. Harris.
521
00:19:52,846 --> 00:19:54,947
Let's talk about
something else.
522
00:19:54,948 --> 00:19:57,749
I'm glad you love me.
523
00:19:57,750 --> 00:19:59,184
Oh, I do.
524
00:19:59,185 --> 00:20:01,853
Against my better judgment,
eight years of higher education
525
00:20:01,854 --> 00:20:03,689
and nearly 20 years
as a therapist.
526
00:20:03,690 --> 00:20:05,624
I can't help it.
Y-You're just...
527
00:20:05,625 --> 00:20:07,960
you're the most fascinating
person I've ever met.
528
00:20:07,961 --> 00:20:10,696
You know, you're
so complicated,
529
00:20:10,697 --> 00:20:13,865
and yet as simple
as a four-year-old.
530
00:20:13,866 --> 00:20:16,768
You know, you're...
you're funny.
531
00:20:16,769 --> 00:20:18,170
You're sexy as hell.
532
00:20:18,171 --> 00:20:20,839
You're like a bird
that smashes into a window
533
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:22,441
and then just wobbles
around in circles,
534
00:20:22,442 --> 00:20:24,676
trying to figure out
how it got here.
535
00:20:26,446 --> 00:20:28,747
You're the perfect
person for me.
536
00:20:28,748 --> 00:20:30,582
⪠Yeah, come on, girl... âª
537
00:20:30,583 --> 00:20:31,650
(funky beat throbbing)
538
00:20:31,651 --> 00:20:33,285
Will you dance with me?
539
00:20:33,286 --> 00:20:34,486
Oh, yeah.
You betcha.
540
00:20:34,487 --> 00:20:37,189
⪠âª
541
00:20:38,292 --> 00:20:41,261
Oh. Wow.
542
00:20:41,262 --> 00:20:45,032
Seriously, perfect
person for me.
543
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000
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544
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00:00:13,050 --> 00:00:17,600
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