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1
00:00:12,589 --> 00:00:13,856
Hey.
Hey.
2
00:00:13,857 --> 00:00:16,025
What are you doing? I'm busy.
3
00:00:16,026 --> 00:00:18,794
I've decided I'm ready
to start dating again.
4
00:00:18,795 --> 00:00:20,663
Forget it, richard.
You had your chance with me.
5
00:00:20,664 --> 00:00:21,897
Not you. Someone else.
6
00:00:21,898 --> 00:00:23,966
All right, fine,
I'll go out with you.
7
00:00:23,967 --> 00:00:25,401
No. I realized
8
00:00:25,402 --> 00:00:27,169
It's never going to happen
with new christine.
9
00:00:27,170 --> 00:00:29,405
Last time we made love,
I looked into her eyes
10
00:00:29,406 --> 00:00:31,507
And saw that she had
absolutely no feelings for me.
11
00:00:31,508 --> 00:00:33,142
Ah, that's so sad.
12
00:00:33,143 --> 00:00:34,410
I know. I couldn't take it.
13
00:00:34,411 --> 00:00:36,779
I had to turn her over.
14
00:00:36,780 --> 00:00:38,914
Oh, gross!
15
00:00:38,915 --> 00:00:40,449
God, is that
why you came over here,
16
00:00:40,450 --> 00:00:42,051
To put that image in my head?
17
00:00:42,052 --> 00:00:43,686
No, that's only 20
percent of the reason.
18
00:00:43,687 --> 00:00:46,188
I want you to fix me
up with someone. Oh, forget it.
19
00:00:46,189 --> 00:00:47,489
Find your own dates.
20
00:00:47,490 --> 00:00:49,858
Come on. If you set me up,
I'll find a date for you.
21
00:00:49,859 --> 00:00:52,628
I don't need it. I already have
kind of a boyfriend.
22
00:00:52,629 --> 00:00:54,263
He's your therapist,
he's not your boyfriend.
23
00:00:54,264 --> 00:00:56,298
You know what,
you are always so negative.
24
00:00:56,299 --> 00:00:58,600
"he's your college professor,
not your boyfriend."
25
00:00:58,601 --> 00:01:01,637
"he's your uncle,
not your boyfriend."
26
00:01:01,638 --> 00:01:04,239
I think it might be healthy
for you to go out with someone
27
00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:05,941
Who's not treating you
or related to you.
28
00:01:05,942 --> 00:01:08,043
Or, in the case
of your uncle, both.
29
00:01:08,044 --> 00:01:09,578
All right, but if we're
30
00:01:09,579 --> 00:01:11,714
Going to do this,
we have to do this right.
31
00:01:11,715 --> 00:01:13,716
We have to be specific
32
00:01:13,717 --> 00:01:15,784
About what we're
looking for, okay?
33
00:01:15,785 --> 00:01:17,086
So what are you
looking for?
34
00:01:17,087 --> 00:01:18,754
Hot.
Oh, god.
35
00:01:18,755 --> 00:01:20,756
You are so shallow.
What are you looking for?
36
00:01:20,757 --> 00:01:22,257
Rich.
37
00:01:23,326 --> 00:01:24,626
What are you doing?
38
00:01:24,627 --> 00:01:26,895
I'm moving some of my stuff
over to the apartment.
39
00:01:26,896 --> 00:01:30,399
Hey, what was my nose hair
trimmer doing in your bathroom?
40
00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:34,136
Oh. That's for your nose?
41
00:01:37,574 --> 00:01:38,874
Hey, guess what?
42
00:01:38,875 --> 00:01:40,909
We're setting
each other up on dates.
43
00:01:40,910 --> 00:01:43,078
Hey, guess what?
That's a really stupid idea.
44
00:01:43,079 --> 00:01:44,480
It makes perfect sense.
45
00:01:44,481 --> 00:01:46,448
No one knows each other
better than we do.
46
00:01:46,449 --> 00:01:48,183
Yeah, it's true.
I mean, we're so close
47
00:01:48,184 --> 00:01:49,952
We practically finish
each other's... Sandwiches.
48
00:01:49,953 --> 00:01:53,655
Not "sandwiches,"
"sentences."
49
00:01:53,656 --> 00:01:55,824
Did you finish my sandwich?
50
00:01:55,825 --> 00:01:57,059
I thought you were done with it.
51
00:01:57,060 --> 00:01:59,161
No, you idiot!
52
00:01:59,162 --> 00:02:00,496
I can see
where this is going.
53
00:02:00,497 --> 00:02:03,532
You two nuts are
going to end up together.
54
00:02:03,533 --> 00:02:05,601
Sync by YesCool
55
00:02:05,602 --> 00:02:09,904
WWW.ADDIC7ED.COM
56
00:02:10,139 --> 00:02:12,274
Richard, this is possibly
57
00:02:12,275 --> 00:02:14,443
The most evolved thing
we have ever done.
58
00:02:14,444 --> 00:02:16,545
Setting each other up on dates.
I mean, if we had done this
59
00:02:16,546 --> 00:02:18,080
When we were married,
we'd still be together.
60
00:02:18,081 --> 00:02:18,910
Yep.
61
00:02:20,216 --> 00:02:21,383
Oh! One of them's here.
62
00:02:21,384 --> 00:02:22,517
Oh! How do I look?
63
00:02:22,518 --> 00:02:23,585
Old. How do I look?
64
00:02:23,586 --> 00:02:24,953
Bald. Let's do this.
65
00:02:28,558 --> 00:02:30,692
Hey, tracey. Come on in.
66
00:02:30,693 --> 00:02:33,362
Tracey, this is richard.
Hey, nice to meet you.
67
00:02:33,363 --> 00:02:36,365
You were wrong.
He's cute.
68
00:02:36,366 --> 00:02:37,766
Nice to meet you, too, tracey.
69
00:02:37,767 --> 00:02:39,668
Uh, christine, may I speak
to you for a second?
70
00:02:39,669 --> 00:02:40,802
Of course. Yeah, just...
71
00:02:40,803 --> 00:02:42,371
One second.
One second.
72
00:02:44,874 --> 00:02:46,808
She's awesome!
73
00:02:46,809 --> 00:02:48,076
Thank you so much!
74
00:02:48,077 --> 00:02:49,478
Oh, sure.
75
00:02:51,447 --> 00:02:52,848
That must be your guy.
76
00:02:52,849 --> 00:02:55,050
Oh, my guy!
77
00:02:56,252 --> 00:02:58,420
Christine, you remember tom.
78
00:03:01,357 --> 00:03:04,960
Oh, I sure do.
79
00:03:04,961 --> 00:03:07,529
So sorry I'm late,
but when I left
80
00:03:07,530 --> 00:03:08,797
The flower shop,
I was followed
81
00:03:08,798 --> 00:03:10,932
To my car by a...
By a swarm of bees.
82
00:03:10,933 --> 00:03:12,668
And I got stung
and I'm allergic.
83
00:03:12,669 --> 00:03:14,803
And my, well, my throat,
uh, it closed up, and...
84
00:03:14,804 --> 00:03:16,705
Well, the paramedics said I was
about 30 seconds away
85
00:03:16,706 --> 00:03:18,073
From death.
86
00:03:19,175 --> 00:03:22,678
If memory serves correctly,
the lady likes begonias.
87
00:03:22,679 --> 00:03:25,147
Uh, well, those are hydrangeas.
88
00:03:27,350 --> 00:03:31,186
And it's actually lilies, but...
89
00:03:31,187 --> 00:03:32,487
Thank you.
90
00:03:32,488 --> 00:03:33,955
Oh, it's okay.
It's no big deal.
91
00:03:33,956 --> 00:03:35,957
At least I, I got to see
92
00:03:35,958 --> 00:03:39,561
My dead grandma
for a few moments.
93
00:03:39,562 --> 00:03:42,664
Yeah. Uh, richard, could I talk
to you just for a quick sec?
94
00:03:42,665 --> 00:03:44,299
Yeah. One sec.
Okay.
95
00:03:47,003 --> 00:03:50,238
Are you freaking kidding me?
96
00:03:50,239 --> 00:03:52,474
I've already been out
with this guy twice.
97
00:03:52,475 --> 00:03:54,176
We have zero chemistry.
98
00:03:54,177 --> 00:03:56,378
I got you a model
with a tramp stamp
99
00:03:56,379 --> 00:03:58,013
That says, "you're welcome""
100
00:03:59,349 --> 00:04:00,982
And you get me that?!
101
00:04:00,983 --> 00:04:03,485
Come on. You didn't even try.
I asked
102
00:04:03,486 --> 00:04:04,753
Over two dozen guys.
103
00:04:04,754 --> 00:04:06,755
I put signs up at all
my construction sites.
104
00:04:06,756 --> 00:04:08,657
I even opened an eharmony
account for you
105
00:04:08,658 --> 00:04:10,292
And I got one nudge.
106
00:04:11,761 --> 00:04:14,796
From a cannibal in germany.
107
00:04:14,797 --> 00:04:18,033
And even he wanted
to see another picture.
108
00:04:18,034 --> 00:04:19,167
Tom was my only option.
109
00:04:19,168 --> 00:04:22,804
Well, did you keep the
number of the cannibal?
110
00:04:23,606 --> 00:04:25,207
Hey, is anyone else hungry?
111
00:04:25,208 --> 00:04:27,609
I'm starving.
I hope you like italian.
112
00:04:27,610 --> 00:04:29,945
I made reservations at the best
restaurant on the west side.
113
00:04:29,946 --> 00:04:31,513
Oh, il finelli?
Il finelli.
114
00:04:34,150 --> 00:04:37,052
Hey, you know what?
I just started the zone diet,
115
00:04:37,053 --> 00:04:38,787
So I brought my own food.
116
00:04:38,788 --> 00:04:41,823
You know, and, uh, I'm trying
really hard not to be a bad boy,
117
00:04:41,824 --> 00:04:43,525
So if, if I reach
for your dessert,
118
00:04:43,526 --> 00:04:45,026
Promise you'll slap my hand.
119
00:04:45,027 --> 00:04:46,962
Yeah, I can guarantee you that.
120
00:04:49,846 --> 00:04:51,880
I hope you guys don't
mind if I just dig in.
121
00:04:51,881 --> 00:04:54,216
You know, 'cause that adrenaline
shot that the paramedics gave me
122
00:04:54,217 --> 00:04:56,051
Left me a little light-headed.
123
00:04:57,320 --> 00:04:59,688
Well, thank god they got
to you in time.
124
00:05:01,691 --> 00:05:04,059
So christine tells me
you're a model.
125
00:05:04,060 --> 00:05:05,293
No, I'm not a model.
126
00:05:05,294 --> 00:05:08,263
I just model a line of
pilates clothes I designed.
127
00:05:08,264 --> 00:05:09,498
Love pilates.
128
00:05:09,499 --> 00:05:13,301
It's given me a really
strong pelvic floor.
129
00:05:13,302 --> 00:05:14,703
Well...
130
00:05:14,704 --> 00:05:17,239
I'm a contractor,
so if I ever remodel a pelvis,
131
00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:19,908
I'll get the name of the guy
who did your pelvic floor.
132
00:05:21,410 --> 00:05:23,278
You know, I think there
is nothing more sexy
133
00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:25,380
Than a guy with a good
sense of humor.
134
00:05:25,381 --> 00:05:27,516
That and nice arms.
135
00:05:27,517 --> 00:05:29,718
Well, I don't know
about the last part.
136
00:05:31,954 --> 00:05:33,522
Christine, you're wrong.
137
00:05:33,523 --> 00:05:36,258
I don't think he's
a dumb-ass at all.
138
00:05:36,259 --> 00:05:38,059
You're wrong.
139
00:05:39,028 --> 00:05:41,062
I'm going to go use
the ladies' room.
140
00:05:41,063 --> 00:05:42,731
Richard, could you
show me where it is?
141
00:05:42,732 --> 00:05:44,933
Yup.
142
00:05:46,435 --> 00:05:50,772
I'm not sure, but I
think they like each other.
143
00:05:50,773 --> 00:05:54,676
Christine, could you show me
the way to the men's room?
144
00:05:54,677 --> 00:05:56,111
Okay, look, tom.
145
00:05:56,112 --> 00:05:59,414
Uh, I'm going to say
this in the nicest way
146
00:05:59,415 --> 00:06:01,750
That I know how.
147
00:06:01,751 --> 00:06:04,286
I am not attracted
to you in any way,
148
00:06:04,287 --> 00:06:06,421
Either physically
or emotionally.
149
00:06:06,422 --> 00:06:09,324
And my goal tonight is
to get through this dinner
150
00:06:09,325 --> 00:06:11,426
Without stabbing
richard in the heart
151
00:06:11,427 --> 00:06:13,795
For setting me up with you.
152
00:06:14,997 --> 00:06:17,165
That was the nicest way
you know how?
153
00:06:17,166 --> 00:06:19,801
You know, I'm not trying
to be mean, but I mean,
154
00:06:19,802 --> 00:06:21,836
We tried this before
and it didn't work.
155
00:06:21,837 --> 00:06:23,438
I don't want to
waste your time.
156
00:06:23,439 --> 00:06:24,906
It's not a waste
of my time.
157
00:06:24,907 --> 00:06:26,875
I love being around you.
Why?
158
00:06:26,876 --> 00:06:29,744
I think you're wonderful
and we'd be good together.
159
00:06:29,745 --> 00:06:31,846
Yeah, but I don't find
you attractive at all,
160
00:06:31,847 --> 00:06:33,248
Either physically or...
161
00:06:33,249 --> 00:06:35,016
You mentioned that
already, yes.
162
00:06:35,017 --> 00:06:36,651
I know, but it's fine.
163
00:06:36,652 --> 00:06:39,788
I am, I am attracted to you
enough for both of us.
164
00:06:39,789 --> 00:06:42,490
Yeah, and I would never,
under any circumstances, have sex with you.
165
00:06:42,491 --> 00:06:45,527
Well, then I will have sex
with me enough for both of us.
166
00:06:46,348 --> 00:06:47,796
Look, I...
167
00:06:47,897 --> 00:06:50,966
The thing is, I have plenty
of time and plenty of money,
168
00:06:50,967 --> 00:06:52,867
But I don't have
anyone to share it with.
169
00:06:52,868 --> 00:06:54,936
And I, I just want you
to be that person.
170
00:06:54,937 --> 00:06:58,306
And all you have to do
in return is just let me take care of you.
171
00:06:58,307 --> 00:07:01,576
Well, tom, I'm...
I'm very flattered,
172
00:07:01,577 --> 00:07:03,378
But I'm a feminist.
173
00:07:03,379 --> 00:07:07,949
And the one thing I pride
myself on is my independence.
174
00:07:07,950 --> 00:07:10,151
That and my cleavage.
175
00:07:12,154 --> 00:07:14,422
Well, this isn't
the shirt to show it off,
176
00:07:14,423 --> 00:07:17,125
But I actually have quite
fine cleavage as well.
177
00:07:18,894 --> 00:07:20,362
I forgot you're
kind of funny.
178
00:07:20,363 --> 00:07:22,597
Well, kind of funny's
kind of nice, right?
179
00:07:22,598 --> 00:07:23,999
So, what do you say?
180
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,334
Well, you're going to
have to give me a minute.
181
00:07:26,335 --> 00:07:28,737
I mean, I can't just
jump into a relationship
182
00:07:28,738 --> 00:07:30,905
Before I've even
ordered dinner.
183
00:07:34,143 --> 00:07:36,711
So, this is the ladies' room.
184
00:07:40,349 --> 00:07:41,916
I always wondered
what went on in...
185
00:07:41,917 --> 00:07:43,585
Here.
186
00:07:50,092 --> 00:07:51,226
Oh, my god! I...
187
00:07:51,227 --> 00:07:52,594
Oh, I've been robbed!
188
00:07:52,595 --> 00:07:54,162
Oh, my furniture!
189
00:07:54,163 --> 00:07:57,265
Oh, my tivo!
190
00:07:57,266 --> 00:07:59,067
Oh, ritchie! Ritchie!
191
00:07:59,068 --> 00:08:00,268
Ritchie!
192
00:08:00,269 --> 00:08:01,469
Calm down. Come on.
193
00:08:01,470 --> 00:08:02,737
He's sleeping.
He's sleeping.
194
00:08:02,738 --> 00:08:03,872
Were you here?
195
00:08:03,873 --> 00:08:06,508
Oh, did they violate you?
196
00:08:07,510 --> 00:08:10,111
I, I told you I was taking
the rest of my stuff
197
00:08:10,112 --> 00:08:11,379
Over to the apartment.
198
00:08:11,380 --> 00:08:12,814
What?! What are you
199
00:08:12,815 --> 00:08:13,948
Talking about?
200
00:08:13,949 --> 00:08:15,350
All that stuff
wasn't yours.
201
00:08:15,351 --> 00:08:17,986
Yes, it was.
When I moved in here, all you had
202
00:08:17,987 --> 00:08:20,021
Was a beanbag chair
and a card table.
203
00:08:20,022 --> 00:08:21,356
It looked like crap.
204
00:08:21,357 --> 00:08:24,125
In fact, it looked
like this.
205
00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:27,295
This is unbelievable.
206
00:08:27,296 --> 00:08:31,032
I have accumulated nothing
in my 35 years on this planet.
207
00:08:31,033 --> 00:08:33,968
What planet were you on
for the other 35 years?
208
00:08:33,969 --> 00:08:36,771
Shut up!
209
00:08:40,776 --> 00:08:42,510
You took my bed?
210
00:08:42,511 --> 00:08:43,745
No, it was my bed,
211
00:08:43,746 --> 00:08:45,013
But I left the pillows.
212
00:08:45,014 --> 00:08:46,915
Too many tear stains on them.
213
00:08:47,983 --> 00:08:50,719
I brought ritchie's old
bed in from the garage.
214
00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:52,520
You know what's pathetic?
215
00:08:52,521 --> 00:08:54,756
That I don't flinch anymore
when you hand me your bra?
216
00:08:56,192 --> 00:08:59,427
I had an offer tonight
from richard's friend, tom,
217
00:08:59,428 --> 00:09:01,863
To take care of me,
and I said no.
218
00:09:01,864 --> 00:09:05,467
And you know why
I think I said no? Pride.
219
00:09:05,468 --> 00:09:07,168
Oh, keep thinking.
220
00:09:08,003 --> 00:09:09,671
I mean, I don't know.
221
00:09:09,672 --> 00:09:12,774
Maybe I should've said yes,
but there's just no spark.
222
00:09:12,775 --> 00:09:14,109
Spark is overrated.
223
00:09:14,110 --> 00:09:15,377
You and richard had spark.
224
00:09:15,378 --> 00:09:17,278
It turned into a wildfire
that consumed
225
00:09:17,279 --> 00:09:20,248
Four lives and blackened
12 years of marriage.
226
00:09:20,249 --> 00:09:23,118
Why don't you start
acting like an adult?
227
00:09:23,119 --> 00:09:25,286
Why? What do adults do?
228
00:09:26,756 --> 00:09:28,123
They're practical.
229
00:09:28,124 --> 00:09:30,692
They-they value things
like companionship
230
00:09:30,693 --> 00:09:32,360
Over physical attraction.
231
00:09:32,361 --> 00:09:34,796
Well, tom is kind of funny
232
00:09:34,797 --> 00:09:36,865
And he, he makes
a decent living,
233
00:09:36,866 --> 00:09:39,567
And has decent breath, and...
234
00:09:39,568 --> 00:09:41,703
I mean, can I really date a guy
235
00:09:41,704 --> 00:09:44,105
With the exact same
shoe size as me?
236
00:09:44,106 --> 00:09:47,876
Uncle john had your same
last name, and you dated him.
237
00:09:49,378 --> 00:09:50,645
Yeah, you know what?
238
00:09:50,646 --> 00:09:52,847
I'm going to do it.
I mean, if tom wants
239
00:09:52,848 --> 00:09:55,083
To take care of me,
I'm going to let him.
240
00:09:55,084 --> 00:09:57,519
I'm too pretty to be
working this hard.
241
00:10:04,194 --> 00:10:06,495
Hey.
Hey.
242
00:10:06,496 --> 00:10:09,131
You would not believe
the night I had.
243
00:10:10,100 --> 00:10:11,967
That tracey is an animal.
244
00:10:12,936 --> 00:10:15,137
It was like a prison movie.
245
00:10:16,506 --> 00:10:19,108
We did things
that kill celebrities.
246
00:10:20,110 --> 00:10:22,645
Yeah, well, you're not
the only one who had fun.
247
00:10:22,646 --> 00:10:24,513
Tom and I really connected, too.
248
00:10:24,514 --> 00:10:26,482
What?
249
00:10:26,483 --> 00:10:27,650
I thought you hated him.
250
00:10:27,651 --> 00:10:29,084
Why would you think that?
251
00:10:29,085 --> 00:10:31,453
You said, "i hate him."
252
00:10:31,454 --> 00:10:34,924
Yeah, but then I realized
it's time to grow up
253
00:10:34,925 --> 00:10:36,825
And get into a healthy
relationship.
254
00:10:36,826 --> 00:10:39,561
Oh, hey, richard.
Hey, tom.
255
00:10:39,562 --> 00:10:42,831
I'm glad, and fairly shocked,
to see this working out.
256
00:10:42,832 --> 00:10:43,700
Me, too.
257
00:10:45,302 --> 00:10:47,937
So, I got your
flat-screen set up.
258
00:10:47,938 --> 00:10:49,204
I figure we can wait
a little while,
259
00:10:49,205 --> 00:10:50,739
See if you really need
the surround sound.
260
00:10:50,740 --> 00:10:52,408
And, uh, let me know
what you think
261
00:10:52,409 --> 00:10:54,343
Of the new linens
I put on the bed.
262
00:10:54,344 --> 00:10:55,611
So you need anything else?
263
00:10:56,766 --> 00:10:57,379
No thanks.
264
00:10:57,380 --> 00:10:58,981
All right.
265
00:10:58,982 --> 00:11:01,684
Well, then, I need to get
over and make sure that
266
00:11:01,685 --> 00:11:03,953
The furniture delivery guys
have the correct address.
267
00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:06,488
So I will see you later,
sweetie.
268
00:11:06,489 --> 00:11:07,456
Okay.
269
00:11:07,457 --> 00:11:10,225
Good-bye...
270
00:11:10,226 --> 00:11:12,428
Baby.
271
00:11:17,901 --> 00:11:20,169
You guys are hot together.
272
00:11:21,438 --> 00:11:24,206
You can barely stand to see me
in an adult relationship,
273
00:11:24,207 --> 00:11:25,407
Can you?
No.
274
00:11:25,408 --> 00:11:26,575
I can barely stand,
275
00:11:26,576 --> 00:11:28,844
Because I got to eighth base
last night.
276
00:11:31,081 --> 00:11:32,481
Hey, mom.
Hey, dad.
277
00:11:32,482 --> 00:11:33,849
Hey, darling.
Hey, pal.
278
00:11:33,850 --> 00:11:36,118
Hey. I hope it's okay
that I picked ritchie up.
279
00:11:36,119 --> 00:11:37,219
I really missed him,
280
00:11:37,220 --> 00:11:38,754
And christine said
it would be all right.
281
00:11:38,755 --> 00:11:40,489
No, it's great.
It's nice to see you.
282
00:11:40,490 --> 00:11:42,124
How have you been?
Really great.
283
00:11:42,125 --> 00:11:43,659
You look really great.
284
00:11:43,660 --> 00:11:45,227
I am. Are you really great?
285
00:11:45,228 --> 00:11:46,595
You look really great.
286
00:11:47,497 --> 00:11:51,600
I have a boyfriend, so...
287
00:11:51,601 --> 00:11:53,669
I miss new christine.
288
00:11:53,670 --> 00:11:54,803
Me, too.
289
00:11:58,508 --> 00:12:00,943
Well, it was nice seeing
you all again.
290
00:12:01,978 --> 00:12:03,979
Richard, you look great.
291
00:12:03,980 --> 00:12:04,646
You look great.
292
00:12:04,647 --> 00:12:05,681
Okay, yeah.
293
00:12:05,682 --> 00:12:07,082
We got it. Yeah.
294
00:12:07,083 --> 00:12:08,717
See ya. Bye.
295
00:12:10,053 --> 00:12:11,600
She looks great.
296
00:12:11,688 --> 00:12:12,888
Okay, ritchie,
297
00:12:12,889 --> 00:12:14,957
Go on upstairs, go.
298
00:12:19,062 --> 00:12:20,195
I still love her.
299
00:12:21,364 --> 00:12:23,665
I'm going to have to
break it off with tracey.
300
00:12:23,666 --> 00:12:27,169
I guess getting set up
was not such a great idea.
301
00:12:27,170 --> 00:12:28,437
Well, speak for yourself.
302
00:12:28,438 --> 00:12:31,373
I think tom might be the one.
303
00:12:31,374 --> 00:12:34,710
Hey, sorry to bother you,
but I stepped in a puddle
304
00:12:34,711 --> 00:12:36,045
And I'm late for a meeting.
305
00:12:36,046 --> 00:12:38,514
Can I borrow a pair
of your sneakers?
306
00:12:44,454 --> 00:12:45,954
Hey, what are you doing?
307
00:12:45,955 --> 00:12:48,724
Just watching my new tv.
308
00:12:48,725 --> 00:12:52,694
Man, you do not want to watch
the surgery channel in hi-def.
309
00:12:52,695 --> 00:12:55,264
Or desperate housewives.
310
00:12:55,265 --> 00:12:57,466
Yikes.
311
00:12:58,401 --> 00:13:00,869
I came by to see
if you need anything,
312
00:13:00,870 --> 00:13:02,404
But it looks like
you're all set.
313
00:13:02,405 --> 00:13:04,273
Yep. My boyfriend
got me all this stuff.
314
00:13:04,274 --> 00:13:06,475
Oh, so tom's your
boyfriend now?
315
00:13:06,476 --> 00:13:08,510
Yep. He got me new furniture,
316
00:13:08,511 --> 00:13:10,846
New tv, a whole case of wine.
317
00:13:10,847 --> 00:13:12,748
And I don't have to do jack.
318
00:13:12,749 --> 00:13:15,384
Wait, christine, do you really
want to be the type of person
319
00:13:15,385 --> 00:13:18,253
Who only takes and gives
absolutely nothing in return?
320
00:13:18,254 --> 00:13:20,522
Matthew, you're the one
who told me to go out with him.
321
00:13:20,523 --> 00:13:23,025
No, I told you to try having
an adult relationship,
322
00:13:23,026 --> 00:13:26,095
Not to use someone
just for the things he buys you.
323
00:13:26,096 --> 00:13:29,431
Wow, now you're making me
feel bad.
324
00:13:29,432 --> 00:13:30,766
Could you grab me
325
00:13:30,767 --> 00:13:34,269
A champagne split
from my new wine fridge?
326
00:13:34,270 --> 00:13:36,105
No, no, what
you're doing is
327
00:13:36,106 --> 00:13:38,874
Completely immoral.
Tom is a person, he's a man.
328
00:13:38,875 --> 00:13:42,144
Oh, boy. I know what I'm going
to have to do for tom.
329
00:13:43,020 --> 00:13:44,313
I'm going to
have to throw him one.
330
00:13:44,314 --> 00:13:45,481
Throw him one what?
331
00:13:45,482 --> 00:13:48,050
One of these.
332
00:13:49,752 --> 00:13:52,254
I'm going to have to throw you
one of the pancakes
333
00:13:52,255 --> 00:13:55,023
I had for breakfast.
334
00:13:55,024 --> 00:13:56,792
Matthew, I'm a feminist.
335
00:13:56,793 --> 00:13:58,894
Wait, so you don't want to be
the type of person
336
00:13:58,895 --> 00:14:01,196
Who takes things for nothing,
but you'll be the type of person
337
00:14:01,197 --> 00:14:02,631
Who takes things
in exchange for sex?
338
00:14:02,632 --> 00:14:04,900
Yeah.
339
00:14:04,901 --> 00:14:08,504
What part of "feminist"
do you not understand?
340
00:14:10,173 --> 00:14:11,740
I have to tell you,
341
00:14:11,741 --> 00:14:13,609
This is my new
favorite restaurant.
342
00:14:13,610 --> 00:14:17,045
They should mention that
bathroom in the zagat guide.
343
00:14:17,046 --> 00:14:18,614
Um, yeah.
344
00:14:18,615 --> 00:14:20,849
Listen, uh, tracey,
we need to talk.
345
00:14:20,850 --> 00:14:23,051
Uh-oh. Is it about
the other night?
346
00:14:23,052 --> 00:14:26,255
Was I too wild? I'm sorry,
I just get really passionate.
347
00:14:26,256 --> 00:14:28,157
Uh, no, no.
No, the other night was great.
348
00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:30,459
I mean, I don't think
I'll ever look at an egg
349
00:14:30,460 --> 00:14:31,860
The same way, but...
350
00:14:33,496 --> 00:14:36,265
Anyway, uh, remember I told you
I had a fianc?e,
351
00:14:36,266 --> 00:14:37,839
And how I was over her?
352
00:14:38,067 --> 00:14:39,902
Well, I saw her yesterday,
353
00:14:39,903 --> 00:14:42,104
And it turns out
I'm not over her.
354
00:14:42,105 --> 00:14:44,439
So even though I like you a lot,
355
00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:46,975
I don't feel like it's fair
to me or to you
356
00:14:46,976 --> 00:14:49,344
If I don't pursue
those feelings.
357
00:14:49,345 --> 00:14:51,013
Does that make sense?
358
00:14:51,014 --> 00:14:53,048
Absolutely.
359
00:14:53,049 --> 00:14:54,183
Well, good.
360
00:14:54,184 --> 00:14:56,618
I'm glad you understand
why we have to break up.
361
00:14:56,619 --> 00:14:58,320
Oh, we're not breaking up.
362
00:15:01,191 --> 00:15:02,524
Excuse me?
363
00:15:02,525 --> 00:15:04,893
We knew each other carnally.
364
00:15:04,894 --> 00:15:07,963
If we break up, we're going
against the bible.
365
00:15:09,232 --> 00:15:11,867
Are you kidding me?
366
00:15:11,868 --> 00:15:14,336
What you did to me went against
the laws of gravity,
367
00:15:14,337 --> 00:15:17,806
Common decency
and the texas constitution.
368
00:15:17,807 --> 00:15:19,408
I'm sorry, richard.
369
00:15:19,409 --> 00:15:21,310
I don't accept your breakup.
370
00:15:21,311 --> 00:15:25,013
Are you messing with me,
or are you crazy?
371
00:15:25,014 --> 00:15:26,715
I'm not crazy.
372
00:15:26,716 --> 00:15:28,617
What's crazy is telling someone
you love them
373
00:15:28,618 --> 00:15:30,552
And then breaking up
with them two days later.
374
00:15:30,553 --> 00:15:31,920
That's crazy.
375
00:15:31,921 --> 00:15:33,188
I never said I loved you.
376
00:15:33,189 --> 00:15:34,990
Your eyes did!
377
00:15:38,294 --> 00:15:40,095
So, uh, tom,
378
00:15:40,096 --> 00:15:41,997
I wanted to talk
to you about something.
379
00:15:41,998 --> 00:15:45,334
Um, I think it's time
that you and I
380
00:15:45,335 --> 00:15:47,703
Physicalized our relationship.
381
00:15:49,272 --> 00:15:51,940
Let's...
382
00:15:51,941 --> 00:15:54,776
Make... Love.
383
00:15:56,946 --> 00:15:58,714
Sex? With me, really?
384
00:15:58,715 --> 00:16:00,816
I thought, I thought you
didn't want to...
385
00:16:00,817 --> 00:16:03,885
Ever... Under any circumstances.
386
00:16:03,886 --> 00:16:06,255
Well, I mean, it's just that if
387
00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:08,924
We're going to be in a
relationship, it can't just be
388
00:16:08,925 --> 00:16:11,994
You giving me
things, so, uh...
389
00:16:11,995 --> 00:16:14,863
Let's... Get it on.
390
00:16:16,165 --> 00:16:18,033
Wow, I just...
391
00:16:18,034 --> 00:16:20,736
I really wish I hadn't had
such a big brunch.
392
00:16:22,505 --> 00:16:23,905
It's kind of bright in here.
393
00:16:23,906 --> 00:16:25,841
You know, I, I don't...
Right now, I don't have
394
00:16:25,842 --> 00:16:28,110
The kind of body that looks
so good in the light.
395
00:16:28,111 --> 00:16:29,444
Oh, I don't care.
396
00:16:29,445 --> 00:16:31,113
Come on. I want it.
397
00:16:31,114 --> 00:16:33,415
Oh, well, it's a...
A little fast for me.
398
00:16:33,416 --> 00:16:34,983
Oh, come on.
Take me, big boy.
399
00:16:34,984 --> 00:16:36,518
Oh, please don't
call me "big boy."
400
00:16:36,519 --> 00:16:38,453
I'm down to, like,
1,200 calories a day.
401
00:16:38,454 --> 00:16:39,721
Okay, less talk, more sex.
402
00:16:39,722 --> 00:16:41,189
Okay, let's go, seriously.
403
00:16:41,190 --> 00:16:43,125
I don't have all day.
Hmm! Hmm!
404
00:16:44,093 --> 00:16:45,327
Stop. Stop. Stop.
405
00:16:45,328 --> 00:16:46,795
No, no, no, no,
stop, stop, stop. What?
406
00:16:46,796 --> 00:16:48,196
What's wrong?
You know what?
407
00:16:48,197 --> 00:16:50,232
I don't want to do this.
You know, this is...
408
00:16:50,233 --> 00:16:51,867
Nothing about this
is a turn-on for me.
409
00:16:51,868 --> 00:16:53,568
You know, I, I'm
going to say this
410
00:16:53,569 --> 00:16:55,003
In the nicest way
that I know how.
411
00:16:55,004 --> 00:16:58,640
The thought of having sex
with you is repulsive.
412
00:16:58,641 --> 00:17:00,575
How dare you?!
413
00:17:00,576 --> 00:17:02,210
I-I'm throwing you one.
414
00:17:02,211 --> 00:17:05,314
You know, I, I want
to go home, okay? What?
415
00:17:06,182 --> 00:17:07,683
No, tom!
416
00:17:07,684 --> 00:17:08,817
Tom, don't leave.
417
00:17:08,818 --> 00:17:10,886
Come on...
Give me another chance!
418
00:17:10,887 --> 00:17:12,821
Make love to me!
419
00:17:14,190 --> 00:17:15,857
Christine, I am full
of eggs benedict
420
00:17:15,858 --> 00:17:17,292
And I really need to leave.
421
00:17:18,494 --> 00:17:20,195
All right. Fine, leave!
422
00:17:20,196 --> 00:17:21,496
You're not the
first person
423
00:17:21,497 --> 00:17:24,599
To refuse sex,
and you won't be the last!
424
00:17:25,835 --> 00:17:27,302
New mailman?
425
00:17:27,303 --> 00:17:30,172
Shut up, richard. Okay?
426
00:17:30,173 --> 00:17:32,441
God! I just got dumped.
427
00:17:32,442 --> 00:17:34,509
And I'm sad and upset
428
00:17:34,510 --> 00:17:38,313
Because I think I might
lose my wine fridge.
429
00:17:38,314 --> 00:17:39,681
Yeah, well,
430
00:17:39,682 --> 00:17:42,017
I've got a real problem
and it's your fault.
431
00:17:42,018 --> 00:17:44,486
That girl you set me up with
is a psychopath.
432
00:17:44,487 --> 00:17:46,855
Oh, yeah, I can see that.
433
00:17:46,856 --> 00:17:48,490
What do you mean
you can see that?
434
00:17:48,491 --> 00:17:50,625
You knowingly set me up
with a crazy?
435
00:17:50,626 --> 00:17:53,462
Richard, your sole criteria
was that she was hot.
436
00:17:53,463 --> 00:17:57,366
And crazy goes with hot
100% of the time.
437
00:17:57,367 --> 00:18:01,336
Why do I always forget that?
438
00:18:01,337 --> 00:18:03,772
I tried breaking up with her,
it wouldn't stick.
439
00:18:03,773 --> 00:18:05,807
I think she might
be following me over here.
440
00:18:05,808 --> 00:18:06,975
I don't know what to do.
441
00:18:06,976 --> 00:18:09,544
You're going to do
what I have to do:
442
00:18:09,545 --> 00:18:10,746
Grow up.
443
00:18:10,747 --> 00:18:11,947
We are adults, okay?
444
00:18:11,948 --> 00:18:13,882
We have to start
acting that way.
445
00:18:13,883 --> 00:18:15,016
ooh, that's her!
446
00:18:15,017 --> 00:18:15,917
Get down!
447
00:18:20,223 --> 00:18:21,990
Oh, my god.
448
00:18:21,991 --> 00:18:23,992
They finally
killed each other.
449
00:18:25,528 --> 00:18:28,463
No. Christine set me up
with a psychopath.
450
00:18:28,464 --> 00:18:29,865
I think she might be
stalking me.
451
00:18:29,866 --> 00:18:30,799
Was she hot?
452
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:32,401
What do you think?
453
00:18:33,536 --> 00:18:35,437
Richard, what are
you doing here?
454
00:18:35,438 --> 00:18:37,572
You said you were putting
money in the meter?
455
00:18:38,908 --> 00:18:40,742
And who the hell is she?
456
00:18:40,743 --> 00:18:42,344
Uh, this is my ex-fianc?e.
457
00:18:42,345 --> 00:18:45,313
Christine, this is the
psychopath I was talking about.
458
00:18:45,314 --> 00:18:48,550
Nice to meet you.
459
00:18:48,551 --> 00:18:51,353
Listen, I don't know what
your plans are with richard,
460
00:18:51,354 --> 00:18:53,455
But you better back off,
because he's mine.
461
00:18:53,456 --> 00:18:55,657
Do I make myself clear?
462
00:18:55,658 --> 00:18:58,093
I think so.
463
00:18:59,662 --> 00:19:02,063
You're asking me
to stay clear of a man
464
00:19:02,064 --> 00:19:04,833
Who I invested the prime years
of my life in.
465
00:19:04,834 --> 00:19:08,103
A man who I agreed to marry,
despite the objections
466
00:19:08,104 --> 00:19:11,106
Of friends and family who said
that he was too old
467
00:19:11,107 --> 00:19:13,675
Or not serious enough
or too dumb.
468
00:19:18,314 --> 00:19:20,749
A man who I
loved so deeply
469
00:19:20,750 --> 00:19:22,918
That I was willing
to humiliate myself
470
00:19:22,919 --> 00:19:25,253
In front of all
of the people dear to me
471
00:19:25,254 --> 00:19:28,156
By leaving him at the altar,
because I felt that he was
472
00:19:28,157 --> 00:19:31,893
Not yet ready to give as much of
his heart to me as I was to him.
473
00:19:31,894 --> 00:19:33,929
Is that what you're saying?
474
00:19:33,930 --> 00:19:37,098
Because if it is...
You better
475
00:19:37,099 --> 00:19:39,267
Back off, bitch.
476
00:19:44,941 --> 00:19:48,410
Christine, uh,
that was beautiful.
477
00:19:48,411 --> 00:19:50,846
And I'm... I'm so glad
to hear you say that,
478
00:19:50,847 --> 00:19:53,615
Because I'm not over you.
479
00:19:53,616 --> 00:19:55,450
I thought I was,
but I'm not.
480
00:19:55,451 --> 00:19:56,718
I love you,
481
00:19:56,719 --> 00:19:59,287
And I'm finally ready
to give of my heart
482
00:19:59,288 --> 00:20:01,623
As much as you've
given to me.
483
00:20:04,293 --> 00:20:06,862
Uh, not the reaction
I was expecting.
484
00:20:07,697 --> 00:20:09,164
I'm pregnant, richard.
485
00:20:09,165 --> 00:20:11,867
what?
486
00:20:14,637 --> 00:20:16,571
Is it mine?
487
00:20:18,975 --> 00:20:21,309
Of course it's yours; we've
only been apart for a month.
488
00:20:21,310 --> 00:20:22,711
How would I have gotten
489
00:20:22,712 --> 00:20:24,813
To know someone well
enough to sleep with them?
490
00:20:24,814 --> 00:20:27,082
Right.
491
00:20:28,784 --> 00:20:32,320
So do you want to tell
me how you managed to get me pregnant
492
00:20:32,321 --> 00:20:35,023
When you said that you had
a vasectomy six months ago?
493
00:20:35,024 --> 00:20:39,694
Um, only if you promise
to see it as a funny story.
494
00:20:41,531 --> 00:20:42,864
Ow! What was that for?
495
00:20:42,865 --> 00:20:45,333
That's for setting me up
with tom!
496
00:20:45,334 --> 00:20:50,184
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497
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