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1
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-Hey.
-Hey.
2
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Is Ritchie ready to go?
3
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Yeah,he's just upstairs getting his stuff together.
4
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Can't believe you're letting me take him to a skateboard party.
5
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You never let him do anything cool.
6
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Come on,he's growing up.
7
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He's going to try different things.
8
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And a good parent knows when to let go.
9
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Mom,I feel dumb.
10
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Dumb?
11
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What are you talking about?
12
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You look just like Tony Hawk.
13
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Are you kidding with this?
14
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What?
15
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Skateboarding is dangerous,Richard.
16
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I don't want him to get hurt.
17
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He's going to get hurt.
18
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He's going to get beat up by the other skateboarders.
19
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Well,if they do that,
20
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they're going to have to deal with his mommy.
21
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You're killing him.
22
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I'm protecting him.
23
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Okay,pal,go get in the car.
24
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for God's sake!
25
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Bye,honey.
26
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Have a great time.
27
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I can't breathe.
28
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that's okay.
29
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Ritchie,that's how you know you're safe,buddy.
30
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Why is Richard putting a tiny baseball umpire into his car?
31
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'Cause Ritchie's going skateboarding.
32
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God,that brings back memories.
33
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Mom used to dress me like that when I went to watch kids who were skateboarding.
34
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Mom used to buy me cigarettes when she thought I was getting chunky.
35
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Okay,anyway,where are you going?
36
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I have a lunch date. I met someone.
37
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What?! Already?
38
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You just broke up with Lucy.
39
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Where did you meet her?
40
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Actually,she works at Ritchie's school.
41
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Oh,my God.
42
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Is she that sassy new French teacher?
43
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She's so hot.
44
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yeah,she is hot.
45
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Not her.
46
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is she that mom that just got divorced?
47
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Listen,I.. I gotta to tell you something.You know,I don't like to gossip,but,
48
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I heard she has the herp.
49
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Actually,that rumor is about you.
50
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At least people think I'm dating.
51
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I'm seeing Andrea.
52
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Andrea?
53
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What does she teach?
54
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She doesn't teach,she ladles.
55
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She's the cafeteria lady.
56
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You are not dating the cafeteria lady.
57
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Okay,you know what,you don't know anything about her.
58
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She is everything that Lucy isn't.
59
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She's simple,stable,calm.
60
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What is she,a trail horse?
61
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Look,you just stay out of it,okay?
62
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Andrea is a great girl-- woman--
63
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lady--
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cafeteria lady.
65
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The New Adventures of Old Christine.
Season 4 Episode 16
66
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I don't get it.
67
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Andrea,the cafeteria lady?
68
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It just makes no sense.
69
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I mean,he loves fish sticks,but still...
70
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It's obviously a rebound thing.
71
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He's still hung up on Lucy and he just needs someone to distract him.
72
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Yeah,he would have been better off dating the lady with the herp.
73
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-Hey.
-Hey.
74
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Can I ask you guys a favor?
75
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Sure. What do you need?
76
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can you get your giant faces away from the window?
77
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You're just ruing my date.
78
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We're just worried about you.
79
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Yeah. Matthew,we know what you're doing.
80
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You're clearly not over Lucy.
81
00:03:18,860 --> 00:03:23,940
I mean,it's like when Richard and I first broke up and I started to date that Armenian magician.
82
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That guy was a terrible magician.
83
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He made my underwear disappear.
84
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You're nasty.
85
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You know what,I miss Babeg.
86
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We should go see him at the Magic Castle some
87
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--You know what,Andrea,Andrea has nothing to do with Lucy,
88
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except for the fact that she is the exact opposite of her.
89
00:03:46,970 --> 00:03:53,530
Lucy was so complicated and dramatic and exotically beautiful and...
90
00:03:53,890 --> 00:03:56,780
What was I saying about Andrea?
91
00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:59,070
Matthew,I just don't think she's right for you.
92
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Why? Why? 'Cause she's a cafeteria lady?
93
00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:03,530
'Cause she wears bike shorts under her clothes?
94
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Because she's a creationist?
95
00:04:07,770 --> 00:04:10,950
Does she have a brother for me?
96
00:04:12,190 --> 00:04:13,490
Matthew,come on.
97
00:04:13,580 --> 00:04:17,230
You have to admit,it's pure rebound.
98
00:04:17,350 --> 00:04:18,790
Matthew...
99
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how much longer are you going to leave me sitting out there?
100
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I just need to know if I should put sunscreen on.
101
00:04:26,220 --> 00:04:30,010
I'm sorry,I was just telling Barb and my sister here how great you are.
102
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Because I got sun poisoning once in high school.
103
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I put aloe on it.
104
00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:45,900
Andrea,why don't we go away to Santa Barbara for the weekend.
105
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Matthew,don't.
106
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Santa Barbara.
107
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We get our Salisbury steak from there.
108
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And I thought she couldn't top the aloe story.
109
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Come on... babe.
110
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:07,930
I know it's none of my business,but I like her.
111
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She smells like Tater Tots.
112
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,380
Mom,Mom,look what happened!
113
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I fell down and hurt my elbow!
114
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look at that. That is something.
115
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Yeah,there was a lot of blood.
116
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And they had to clean it up with a mop.
117
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It was gross and cool.
118
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I wish I'd been there to see it.
119
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Well,why don't you go upstairs and rinse that off,buddy.
120
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I'll come up in a second; I'll put some Band-Aids on it.
121
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-Okay,Mom.
-Okay,honey.
122
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Gosh.
123
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you handled that a lot better than I thought you would.
124
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I'm taking away your custody.
125
00:05:43,230 --> 00:05:48,480
You know what,I think it's a good time for me to grab some Tater Tots.
126
00:05:49,570 --> 00:05:51,310
Christine,it looks worse than it is.
127
00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:54,000
The guy at the skateboard park said that Ritchie was fine.
128
00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:56,050
really? The guy at the skateboard park said he was fine?
129
00:05:56,130 --> 00:06:01,080
Did you get a second opinion from the dude at the snack bar,Richard?
130
00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:04,250
No,I got a juice from the dude at the snack bar.
131
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Because I get woozy when I see all that blood.
132
00:06:06,310 --> 00:06:09,590
You are in huge trouble,Richard!
133
00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:11,110
-He fell.
-really?
134
00:06:11,190 --> 00:06:12,640
Where were his elbow pads,Richard?
135
00:06:12,710 --> 00:06:14,040
-He took them off.
- Not possible.
136
00:06:14,130 --> 00:06:15,460
I duct-taped them on myself,
137
00:06:15,540 --> 00:06:17,070
so somebody had to help him to take them off.
138
00:06:17,140 --> 00:06:18,480
Who would have done that,Richard?
139
00:06:18,580 --> 00:06:20,300
Look,he's a kid.
140
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,170
Kids fall down,they get minor injuries.
141
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It happens.
142
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Not when he's with me it doesn't.
143
00:06:24,780 --> 00:06:26,070
What's that supposed to mean?
144
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That I'm a bad father or something?
145
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No,you're just a father.
146
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A mother would never let that happen.
147
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Christine,that's offensive.
148
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You're basically saying that mothers are better parents than fathers.
149
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Yeah,I am. Everybody knows that.
150
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Nobody knows that.
151
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That's why we have Mother's Day,dumb-ass.
152
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There's Father's Day too,dumb-ass.
153
00:06:48,180 --> 00:06:53,530
No,the only people who celebrate that are people whose mothers are dead.
154
00:06:53,620 --> 00:06:57,790
I-I just... I just cannot believe that you let this happen,Richard!
155
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Well,he had a good time.
156
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He wants me to take him back next week.
157
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No,no,no,no. No!
158
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He is never skateboarding again,okay?
159
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He is our only son.
160
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We have no backup.
161
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Which is your fault,too,by the way.
162
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How is that my fault?
163
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Because when I asked you to have another baby,
164
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you said no.
165
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You asked me that two months ago.
166
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In front of my fiancée.
167
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Listen to me,from now on,
168
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when I say that something is too dangerous,
169
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he doesn't do it,all right?
170
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You have shown that your judgment cannot be trusted.
171
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Man,they make you take a test to drive a car,
172
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but any bozo off the street can be a father.
173
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:38,290
You calling me a bozo?
174
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No. Bozo's good with kids.
175
00:07:45,490 --> 00:07:47,190
They make you take a test to drive a car,
176
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but any bozo off the street can be a father.
177
00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:51,800
You should stop saying that.
178
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You know you didn't make it up.
179
00:07:54,530 --> 00:07:57,670
And you also didn't make up "Show me the money."
180
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I was saying that back in 1971.
181
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You can ask anyone.
182
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Maybe you should cut Richard a little slack.
183
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Accidents happen.
184
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You know,every time I think of what happened at that skate park,it just,it makes me sick.
185
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He could have really been hurt.
186
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But he wasn't.
187
00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:16,890
But he could have been,all right?From now on,I'm going to be extra vigilant.
188
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This sounds like a big crazy coming on to me.
189
00:08:20,430 --> 00:08:24,020
Yeah,you betcha. You betcha!
190
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See you later,Mom.
191
00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:28,530
I'm going over to Justin's house to show him my elbow.
192
00:08:28,610 --> 00:08:31,970
you know what? I'll drive you,'cause I have to go to the grocery store anyway,honey.
193
00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:33,110
You don't have to drive me.
194
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-I ride my bike all the time. -No,no,no,no.
195
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You know what,your elbow's still a little bit stiff,
196
00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:38,490
and it's getting dark outside.
197
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In seven hours.
198
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All right,fine.Wear your helmet.
199
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And let's pad you up.
200
00:08:45,230 --> 00:08:49,090
Barb,go get me some panty liners and some duct tape.
201
00:08:49,670 --> 00:08:51,640
No,Christine,you have to let him go.
202
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If he loves you,he'll come back.
203
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If he's smart,he won't.
204
00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:01,250
Thanks,Aunt Barb.
205
00:09:01,370 --> 00:09:02,500
Bye,Mom.
206
00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:04,900
I know you're worried about him,
207
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,630
but you can't follow him everywhere he goes.
208
00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:11,730
No,not everywhere-- just to Justin's house.Come on.
209
00:09:11,830 --> 00:09:13,590
You know he's going to grow up to hate you.
210
00:09:13,650 --> 00:09:15,100
I know.
211
00:09:26,060 --> 00:09:28,800
Look at him flying down the road.
212
00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:31,290
We're going three.
213
00:09:31,470 --> 00:09:34,900
This guy is tailgating me like crazy.
214
00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:37,740
Hey,hey,buddy!
215
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Child on bike!
216
00:09:40,460 --> 00:09:41,910
Back off!
217
00:09:41,980 --> 00:09:45,500
God! Can you believe this idiot?
218
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be careful!
219
00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:50,210
What do you want to do,cause an accident?!
220
00:09:51,390 --> 00:09:53,230
Did I just hit something?
221
00:09:53,780 --> 00:09:55,320
Where's Ritchie?
222
00:09:55,430 --> 00:09:57,280
-Ritchie! - Ritchie!
223
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,060
I'm okay,I'm okay.
224
00:10:00,420 --> 00:10:02,030
Oh,my God,Ritchie!
225
00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:05,700
I ran into the car and now my knee hurts,but I'm okay.
226
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:06,870
Oh,my God!
227
00:10:06,970 --> 00:10:09,530
I ran over my only child.
228
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:12,470
You didn't run him over. He ran into the car.
229
00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:14,080
honey,I'm so sorry!
230
00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:16,380
We're going to take you to the ER,okay?
231
00:10:16,470 --> 00:10:18,310
And we're going to get you checked out,okay?
232
00:10:18,380 --> 00:10:20,540
And make sure everything is fine.
233
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:21,550
Oh,my God.
234
00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:23,520
You're okay,you're okay,Ritchie.
235
00:10:23,660 --> 00:10:25,520
He's okay,he's okay,right,Barb?
236
00:10:25,620 --> 00:10:27,360
He's fine.Are you?
- Yeah.
237
00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:29,610
Yeah,yeah! I hit my kid with a car!
238
00:10:29,710 --> 00:10:33,260
I'm okay.I'm okay! I'm okay!I'm okay!
239
00:10:33,330 --> 00:10:34,430
-Honey.
- Yeah?
240
00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:36,530
-Car's this way.
- Yeah,I'm okay!
241
00:10:36,620 --> 00:10:39,550
I'm okay! I'm okay!I'm okay!
242
00:10:39,750 --> 00:10:41,560
Oh,my God!
243
00:10:43,900 --> 00:10:45,740
Okay,the doctor says he's fine.
244
00:10:45,830 --> 00:10:47,970
He's just taking some X-rays to make sure.
245
00:10:48,070 --> 00:10:49,540
And he gave me these.
246
00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:50,950
is Ritchie in pain?
247
00:10:51,070 --> 00:10:52,550
No,they're for me.
248
00:10:52,690 --> 00:10:55,520
I was kind of a little hysterical in there.
249
00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:59,800
The most important thing is that Ritchie is okay,so you can relax.
250
00:10:59,900 --> 00:11:01,230
No,I can't.
251
00:11:01,350 --> 00:11:02,500
Because when Richard gets here,
252
00:11:02,610 --> 00:11:06,090
he's gonna try and make it seem like this whole thing is my fault.
253
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:09,360
Well,it is 100% your fault.
254
00:11:10,090 --> 00:11:13,590
No,he's gonna say that somehow this proves he's winning.
255
00:11:13,670 --> 00:11:14,520
Winning what?
256
00:11:14,620 --> 00:11:16,020
Who's the better parent.
257
00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:20,490
I'm not sure that's a contest either you or Richard should enter.
258
00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:22,790
Barb,listen to me-- when you're a divorced parent,
259
00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:27,360
everything is a competition and that is why we're not going to tell Richard what happened today,
260
00:11:27,510 --> 00:11:28,990
we're just gonna lie.
261
00:11:29,100 --> 00:11:32,010
-Why am I going to lie? I'm not in the contest.
- Yes,you are.
262
00:11:32,090 --> 00:11:34,450
It's you and me against Richard and New Christine.
263
00:11:34,530 --> 00:11:35,810
Just let me do all the talking.
264
00:11:35,900 --> 00:11:37,470
Just agree with everything I say.
265
00:11:37,540 --> 00:11:42,480
-No.
- All right,well,then,Barb,we are off to a very bad start.
266
00:11:43,750 --> 00:11:46,270
-Is everything okay? Where's Ritchie?
-He's fine; he's fine,okay?
267
00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:47,180
Nothing's broken.
268
00:11:47,270 --> 00:11:48,320
He's already walking on it.
269
00:11:48,410 --> 00:11:50,140
We're just waiting for X-rays.
270
00:11:50,220 --> 00:11:51,930
What happened?
271
00:11:52,010 --> 00:11:53,580
Um...,Ri...
272
00:11:53,650 --> 00:11:57,520
Ritchie,was out riding his bike...
273
00:11:57,600 --> 00:12:02,880
and,Barb and I went out to get Chinese food.Right,Barb?
274
00:12:02,950 --> 00:12:04,060
Yeah. Right.
275
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:07,600
Kung Pao chicken,filet white meat,no MSG.
276
00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:09,930
Right,right,right.
277
00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:13,380
And then,so,we saw Ritchie ahead of us,okay?
278
00:12:13,460 --> 00:12:15,350
And he seemed distracted,somehow,
279
00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:20,770
and then we looked over and there was a... this coyote.
280
00:12:20,870 --> 00:12:21,500
What?
281
00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:23,760
right there,in the middle of the city.
282
00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:25,390
And it had something in its mouth.
283
00:12:25,450 --> 00:12:29,830
I think it might've been a... a...roadrunner.
284
00:12:35,190 --> 00:12:37,510
Wh-What's going on,Christine?
285
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:40,260
Maybe you should just tell him the truth.
286
00:12:40,340 --> 00:12:43,600
the truth would be great.
287
00:12:43,940 --> 00:12:45,860
All right. Fine.
288
00:12:49,930 --> 00:12:54,780
man,this is not easy for me to admit...
289
00:12:54,850 --> 00:12:58,120
but Barb hit Ritchie with the car.
290
00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:00,640
-What?!
-What?!
291
00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:02,170
It was an accident.
292
00:13:02,250 --> 00:13:04,830
She didn't mean it.Right,Barb?
293
00:13:04,910 --> 00:13:10,120
I guess I was distracted by the coyote and the roadrunner.
294
00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:12,080
Don't... Don't be mad,Richard,all right?
295
00:13:12,170 --> 00:13:16,100
It was an accident.You know how much she loves Ritchie.
296
00:13:16,220 --> 00:13:16,960
I'm not mad.
297
00:13:17,060 --> 00:13:18,520
You must feel terrible.
298
00:13:18,630 --> 00:13:19,940
I know how much you love Ritchie.
299
00:13:20,030 --> 00:13:22,690
Barb,just promise me you won't blame yourself for this.
300
00:13:22,790 --> 00:13:24,650
It was an accident,okay?
301
00:13:24,750 --> 00:13:26,590
Richard.
302
00:13:26,700 --> 00:13:30,130
That is just the right attitude.
303
00:13:31,870 --> 00:13:39,430
And technically... I hit Ritchie with the car,but I promise I won't blame myself.
304
00:13:39,510 --> 00:13:41,720
You lied to me? Are you kidding me?
305
00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:45,730
After what you put me through for a scraped elbow and then you hit him with the car?
306
00:13:45,830 --> 00:13:46,590
Barb did it.
307
00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:48,570
No,no,Christine,
308
00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:50,180
you're not getting off the hook for this.
309
00:13:50,260 --> 00:13:52,110
You ran over our son with a car.
310
00:13:52,190 --> 00:13:54,450
You are clearly the worst parent.
311
00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:57,580
Well! It's not a contest!
312
00:13:59,230 --> 00:14:00,720
Damn it.
313
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,290
He thinks he won.
314
00:14:02,590 --> 00:14:07,460
Well,he did 100% win.
315
00:14:14,340 --> 00:14:16,270
Look at this room!
316
00:14:17,010 --> 00:14:17,920
Pretty nice��
317
00:14:18,010 --> 00:14:19,870
They have a pool,too.
318
00:14:22,290 --> 00:14:24,990
We're going to need towels.
319
00:14:26,030 --> 00:14:27,020
You know what you are?
320
00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:28,680
Practical.
321
00:14:28,780 --> 00:14:30,430
My last girlfriend never thought ahead.
322
00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:31,760
She was ridiculously impulsive.
323
00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:32,850
You know,when we came to this place,
324
00:14:32,950 --> 00:14:34,510
we didn't even have reservations.
325
00:14:34,590 --> 00:14:35,850
Or luggage.
326
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:38,430
Every moment with her was a discovery.
327
00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:43,650
So you came here with your last girlfriend?
328
00:14:43,730 --> 00:14:45,010
does that bother you?
329
00:14:45,100 --> 00:14:46,790
Is there a TV?
330
00:14:47,690 --> 00:14:48,590
Yeah.
331
00:14:48,690 --> 00:14:50,420
Then,no.
332
00:14:54,150 --> 00:14:55,680
Do you likeWheel?
333
00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:56,400
What?
334
00:14:56,490 --> 00:14:58,750
Are you aWheelwatcher?
335
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:03,220
Wheel of Fortune. What,do you live in a box?
336
00:15:08,670 --> 00:15:11,200
Okay,sweetie,go upstairs and rest your knee,all right?
337
00:15:11,290 --> 00:15:13,580
I'll be up in a few minutes to check on you.
338
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:14,970
Can I take my helmet off now?
339
00:15:15,060 --> 00:15:16,270
No.
340
00:15:16,420 --> 00:15:20,260
I'm gonna come take it off when you fall asleep.
341
00:15:25,290 --> 00:15:27,490
You okay?--No.
342
00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:29,080
ichard's right.
343
00:15:29,180 --> 00:15:31,290
I am the worst parent.
344
00:15:31,390 --> 00:15:35,040
I mean,when I think what could've happened if I'd been going faster.
345
00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:37,140
Or if he didn't have his helmet on.
346
00:15:37,230 --> 00:15:41,940
God forbid,that coyote got to him before I did.
347
00:15:42,780 --> 00:15:49,060
First of all,the coyote was busy catching the roadrunner with his giant magnet.
348
00:15:49,690 --> 00:15:52,580
How many of those pills did you take?
349
00:15:52,700 --> 00:15:54,930
It said take two,so,four.
350
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:56,710
What?
351
00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:59,360
They expect you to double it.
352
00:15:59,820 --> 00:16:03,190
Oh,God,Barb,I'm never gonna be able to forgive myself.
353
00:16:03,290 --> 00:16:05,990
You know,you can finish raising him for me,if you want to.
354
00:16:06,070 --> 00:16:08,370
After you already wrecked him?
355
00:16:08,620 --> 00:16:09,440
No,thanks.
356
00:16:09,540 --> 00:16:11,790
God...
357
00:16:11,890 --> 00:16:14,260
Look,Christine,stop being so hard on yourself.
358
00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:17,530
Being a mom is one of the two things you do well.
359
00:16:17,620 --> 00:16:19,000
What's the other one?
360
00:16:19,070 --> 00:16:20,490
Okay,there's not another one.
361
00:16:20,550 --> 00:16:23,110
But... everyone makes mistakes.
362
00:16:23,220 --> 00:16:25,470
Believe me,Richard has made his share of mistakes.
363
00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:26,950
Yeah. Not like this.
364
00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:30,260
yeah. Like this.
365
00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:32,760
Okay,I'm gonna tell you something about Richard,
366
00:16:32,850 --> 00:16:35,290
but it's got to stay between you and me.
367
00:16:35,380 --> 00:16:36,500
Of course.
368
00:16:36,580 --> 00:16:37,850
Okay.
369
00:16:37,950 --> 00:16:41,540
Remember that time Richard took Ritchie to the Orange County Fair?
370
00:16:41,620 --> 00:16:45,910
You lost Ritchie at the Orange County Fair?
371
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:48,500
Christine,it was the worst 45 minutes of my life.
372
00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:49,760
And I found him.
373
00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:50,830
If I had really lost him,
374
00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:52,880
you wouldn't have been able to run him over with your car.
375
00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:56,080
no,you can't turn this back on me,all right?
376
00:16:56,170 --> 00:16:58,000
This is just irresponsible parenting,
377
00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:00,520
and you should be ashamed of yourself.
378
00:17:00,670 --> 00:17:02,340
Of course I'm ashamed of myself.
379
00:17:02,450 --> 00:17:05,780
It was the worst hour and a half of my life.
380
00:17:06,430 --> 00:17:07,390
Hour and a half?!
381
00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:08,480
Never mind that.
382
00:17:08,590 --> 00:17:11,480
Who told you about the Orange County Fair?
383
00:17:11,860 --> 00:17:13,830
How could you tell her about the Orange County Fair?
384
00:17:13,930 --> 00:17:17,030
You know that was the worst four hours of my life.
385
00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:19,420
I'm sorry,but,you know,she felt so bad,
386
00:17:19,490 --> 00:17:20,980
I wanted to make her feel better.
387
00:17:21,050 --> 00:17:22,390
Well,now I feel awful.
388
00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:23,690
Clearly,I'm the worst parent.
389
00:17:23,780 --> 00:17:25,350
I'm way worse than Christine.
390
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:27,340
At least she hit him while she was trying to protect him.
391
00:17:27,430 --> 00:17:32,610
I was so busy watching a cow being born,I forgot I even brought him.
392
00:17:32,700 --> 00:17:36,220
Look,would it make you feel better if I told you something about Christine?
393
00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:37,520
Yes.
394
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:40,330
Okay,but it has to stay between us.
395
00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:41,870
Of course.
396
00:17:43,590 --> 00:17:45,840
Well...
397
00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:48,870
You let Ritchie shave his legs?
398
00:17:48,970 --> 00:17:50,190
Boys are curious.
399
00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:51,450
If you forbid something,
400
00:17:51,530 --> 00:17:54,250
it makes it that much more appealing to them.
401
00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:56,380
I guess nobody forbid you.
402
00:17:59,540 --> 00:18:00,670
Between us?
403
00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:02,620
Of course.
404
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:06,550
Hooters,Richard?
405
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:11,100
Neverland Ranch,Christine?
406
00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:16,340
So,what are we doing now? Do you want to come in?
407
00:18:16,420 --> 00:18:18,710
I want to break up.
408
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:20,090
What? Why?
409
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:21,480
I thought we really connected.
410
00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:23,040
You know,during the commercials.
411
00:18:24,340 --> 00:18:25,720
You don't like me.
412
00:18:25,810 --> 00:18:28,440
You're obviously still in love with your old girlfriend.
413
00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:30,240
It's all you talk about.
414
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:31,550
That's not true!
415
00:18:31,630 --> 00:18:33,010
I'm totally over Lucy.
416
00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:34,760
Sh-She drove me crazy.
417
00:18:34,850 --> 00:18:36,900
You know,she used to walk in her sleep.
418
00:18:36,970 --> 00:18:38,170
And not like a normal person.
419
00:18:38,250 --> 00:18:41,790
Like,like,like some mummy from an old movie with her arms straight out.
420
00:18:41,860 --> 00:18:45,670
It was just weird and adorable.
421
00:18:46,060 --> 00:18:48,340
I see what you're saying.
422
00:18:48,550 --> 00:18:49,490
Well...
423
00:18:49,580 --> 00:18:51,650
guess we'll always have theWheel?
424
00:18:51,740 --> 00:18:55,310
Not "the"Wheel-- Wheel!
425
00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:04,030
We're terrible parents.
426
00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:05,030
Both of us.
427
00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:06,470
The worst.
428
00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:08,390
Well,you more than me.
429
00:19:09,550 --> 00:19:12,910
Okay,Miss "I just had to meet Michael Jackson."
430
00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:16,430
that ranch was amazing,Richard.
431
00:19:16,540 --> 00:19:18,710
I saw a peacock up-close.
432
00:19:18,790 --> 00:19:21,090
God,I hope Ritchie didn't.
433
00:19:24,660 --> 00:19:27,230
Man,they make you take a test to drive a car,
434
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:29,590
but any bozo could be a parent.
435
00:19:29,660 --> 00:19:32,040
Okay,we're not going to get anywhere blaming each other.
436
00:19:32,100 --> 00:19:34,490
Well,if we don't blame each other,who are we going to blame?
437
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:36,640
We could blame Barb.
438
00:19:36,710 --> 00:19:40,810
I mean,we were much better parents before Barb told us what bad parents we are.
439
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,420
I hate Barb.
440
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:44,190
No,I don't.
441
00:19:44,260 --> 00:19:45,500
I love Barb.
442
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:46,950
I love Barb,too.
443
00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:49,370
Should Barb raise him?
444
00:19:49,940 --> 00:19:53,070
She doesn't want to. He's all wrecked.
445
00:19:55,750 --> 00:19:57,320
Do you know what?
446
00:19:57,450 --> 00:19:58,900
This is silly.
447
00:19:58,980 --> 00:20:03,520
Ritchie is a healthy,happy,well- adjusted kid.
448
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:05,320
Yeah,that's true.
449
00:20:05,410 --> 00:20:08,050
I mean,he's a good student,
450
00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:13,180
and he gets along with other kids,and he came through the divorce with flying colors,you know.
451
00:20:13,250 --> 00:20:14,790
So we must be doing something right.
452
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:15,790
Something?
453
00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:18,340
We're doing a lot of things right.
454
00:20:18,750 --> 00:20:21,720
Are we good parents?
455
00:20:22,020 --> 00:20:25,440
Are we great parents?
456
00:20:26,190 --> 00:20:27,690
What are you guys doing?
457
00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:30,120
We just decided that we're great parents.
458
00:20:30,220 --> 00:20:31,260
Where's Ritchie?
459
00:20:31,370 --> 00:20:32,350
Ritchie?
460
00:20:32,630 --> 00:20:35,990
shoot!It was my turn to pick him up.
461
00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:42,010
I win.
462
00:20:42,210 --> 00:20:43,930
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Proudly Presents
463
00:20:43,980 --> 00:20:44,910
Sync: YTET-��è
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464
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:49,510
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