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1
00:00:01,279 --> 00:00:02,712
[Crickets chirping]
2
00:00:04,249 --> 00:00:05,615
[Both gasp]
3
00:00:05,617 --> 00:00:07,050
[Both sigh]
4
00:00:07,052 --> 00:00:09,786
And with the ceremonial
Dutch oven completed,
5
00:00:09,788 --> 00:00:12,522
another Steve and
Roger sleepover begins.
6
00:00:12,950 --> 00:00:14,323
What do you want to do next?
7
00:00:14,325 --> 00:00:15,403
- Jerk off?
- What?
8
00:00:15,427 --> 00:00:16,245
Probably too early.
9
00:00:16,328 --> 00:00:18,299
We have even eaten our bagel bites yet.
10
00:00:18,330 --> 00:00:20,430
Steve's mom? Where are the bites?
11
00:00:20,432 --> 00:00:21,403
We can play some games
12
00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:23,633
on the vintage Macintosh
we've been rebuilding.
13
00:00:23,635 --> 00:00:26,269
Dang! But we still need the mouse.
14
00:00:26,271 --> 00:00:28,471
Guess what came today?
15
00:00:28,473 --> 00:00:31,274
No! No way!
16
00:00:32,049 --> 00:00:35,645
Number Munchers, Dark Castle,
Motorcycle Mayhem?
17
00:00:35,647 --> 00:00:38,081
Surprise me.
18
00:00:38,083 --> 00:00:39,949
[Beeps]
19
00:00:40,568 --> 00:00:41,284
What's this?
20
00:00:41,286 --> 00:00:43,052
It's Oregon Trail.
21
00:00:43,054 --> 00:00:44,887
You play as a family of pioneers
22
00:00:44,889 --> 00:00:46,823
trying to survive on the frontier.
23
00:00:46,825 --> 00:00:48,658
Um, can we play something else?
24
00:00:48,660 --> 00:00:50,093
Come on, it'll be great.
25
00:00:50,095 --> 00:00:52,228
If we beat Oregon Trail,
26
00:00:52,230 --> 00:00:55,731
we get to print out a certificate.
27
00:00:55,733 --> 00:00:56,999
Toshi got one.
28
00:00:57,001 --> 00:00:59,001
Carries it in his wallet
instead of a condom.
29
00:00:59,003 --> 00:01:00,602
He's been drowning in muff.
30
00:01:00,605 --> 00:01:03,706
Well, he's straightedge,
so he just makes out a lot.
31
00:01:03,708 --> 00:01:06,676
Oh, here we go. Time to hit the trail!
32
00:01:06,678 --> 00:01:09,579
[Beeping]
33
00:01:09,581 --> 00:01:11,514
Oh, we lost Dad.
34
00:01:11,516 --> 00:01:13,149
Stan's gone?
35
00:01:13,151 --> 00:01:14,750
- [Beeping]
- _
36
00:01:14,752 --> 00:01:16,185
[Keyboard clacking]
37
00:01:16,187 --> 00:01:17,620
- [Beeping]
- _
38
00:01:17,622 --> 00:01:18,821
[Keyboard clacking]
39
00:01:18,823 --> 00:01:21,124
[Computerized jingle]
40
00:01:21,126 --> 00:01:23,126
- [Beeping]
- _
41
00:01:23,128 --> 00:01:24,594
Sleepover's canceled.
42
00:01:24,596 --> 00:01:26,295
What? It just started.
43
00:01:26,297 --> 00:01:28,164
Dad hasn't even burst
in in his underwear
44
00:01:28,166 --> 00:01:30,166
and told us to
"Shut the [bleep] up or else."
45
00:01:30,168 --> 00:01:32,768
All right, boys,
don't stay up too late tonight.
46
00:01:32,770 --> 00:01:35,004
We have family picture day tomorrow.
47
00:01:36,274 --> 00:01:39,342
Full disclosure.
Between the kitchen and here,
48
00:01:39,344 --> 00:01:42,078
that's actually the fourth
time I dropped these.
49
00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:44,547
?
50
00:01:44,549 --> 00:01:47,049
? Good morning, U.S.A. ?
51
00:01:47,051 --> 00:01:50,920
? I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day ?
52
00:01:50,922 --> 00:01:54,023
? The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ?
53
00:01:54,025 --> 00:01:58,728
? And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race ?
54
00:02:00,198 --> 00:02:03,766
? Oh, boy, it's swell to say ?
55
00:02:03,768 --> 00:02:06,335
- ? Good... ?
- ? Good morning, U.S.A. ?
56
00:02:06,337 --> 00:02:07,770
Aah!
57
00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:12,074
? Good morning, U.S.A. ?
58
00:02:12,311 --> 00:02:14,511
_
59
00:02:14,512 --> 00:02:15,866
Chomp, chomp, chomp!
60
00:02:15,914 --> 00:02:18,581
Still don't have a smile
from Junior over there.
61
00:02:18,583 --> 00:02:20,950
- Chomp, chomp, chomp!
- Haha-ahoho!
62
00:02:20,952 --> 00:02:23,619
The shark ate his nose!
You guys seeing this?
63
00:02:23,621 --> 00:02:26,255
Roger, I spent over $3,000
64
00:02:26,257 --> 00:02:28,892
on these damn denim outfits...
just smile.
65
00:02:28,994 --> 00:02:30,106
Smile for what?
66
00:02:30,128 --> 00:02:33,563
A photo I can look at in 1,000
years when you're all dead?!
67
00:02:33,565 --> 00:02:35,498
Before you got bitten by a snake?!
68
00:02:35,500 --> 00:02:36,699
A snake?
69
00:02:36,701 --> 00:02:38,501
Oh, God, what's gonna happen?!
70
00:02:38,503 --> 00:02:40,570
Are you talking about Oregon Trail?
71
00:02:40,572 --> 00:02:43,439
- It was only a game.
- No, it's not!
72
00:02:43,441 --> 00:02:45,408
'Cause even if you don't
drown or starve to death,
73
00:02:45,410 --> 00:02:48,177
you're human,
so I'm gonna outlive you all!
74
00:02:48,179 --> 00:02:49,579
What?
75
00:02:49,581 --> 00:02:51,981
I don't need some denim-clad reminder
76
00:02:51,983 --> 00:02:54,817
of when I was stupid
enough to care about you!
77
00:02:54,819 --> 00:02:56,886
[Crying]
78
00:02:56,888 --> 00:02:59,088
- Stan?
- I got this.
79
00:02:59,090 --> 00:03:01,557
Hey, uh, you know,
I'd love to see more of you.
80
00:03:01,559 --> 00:03:03,659
If you ever want to go
out and need a wingman,
81
00:03:04,362 --> 00:03:08,030
you know, this comes off.
82
00:03:11,442 --> 00:03:13,849
I'm really worried about Roger, hun.
83
00:03:13,851 --> 00:03:15,184
I know what'll cheer him up.
84
00:03:15,186 --> 00:03:17,453
One of my patented funny faces.
85
00:03:17,455 --> 00:03:21,924
[Making goofy noises]
86
00:03:21,926 --> 00:03:23,559
Stan, watch the road!
87
00:03:23,561 --> 00:03:24,827
My eyes are stuck!
88
00:03:24,829 --> 00:03:26,662
[Tires squealing, all screaming]
89
00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:29,332
[Crash]
90
00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:34,036
?
91
00:03:34,038 --> 00:03:36,072
Francine!
92
00:03:36,074 --> 00:03:42,378
?
93
00:03:42,380 --> 00:03:44,647
Dad... Roger!
94
00:03:44,649 --> 00:03:46,849
?
95
00:03:46,851 --> 00:03:48,684
Roger, get out of there!
96
00:03:48,686 --> 00:03:53,422
?
97
00:03:53,424 --> 00:03:55,391
[Hoarsely] Good-bye.
98
00:03:57,195 --> 00:04:00,162
[All screaming]
99
00:04:03,468 --> 00:04:06,168
- _
- I miss you every day, Roger.
100
00:04:06,170 --> 00:04:08,571
The other night,
I got in the sleeping bag
101
00:04:08,573 --> 00:04:10,039
and Dutch ovened myself.
102
00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:12,408
For a moment,
I thought I could smell you.
103
00:04:12,410 --> 00:04:15,711
Then I realized you shit
the sleeping bag last year.
104
00:04:15,713 --> 00:04:17,913
Anyway, sorry it's just me.
105
00:04:19,115 --> 00:04:21,283
The family's not exactly coping well.
106
00:04:21,285 --> 00:04:24,754
[Grunting]
107
00:04:24,756 --> 00:04:27,323
I want to talk about Roger. I miss him.
108
00:04:27,325 --> 00:04:30,659
Steve, you need to move on
and deal with Roger's death
109
00:04:30,661 --> 00:04:32,661
in a healthy way like
the rest of us have.
110
00:04:32,663 --> 00:04:35,264
Yeah! Dad's got his mustache,
111
00:04:35,266 --> 00:04:37,233
I'm deep into street fighting,
112
00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:39,635
and Mom's got her hair
and cigarettes goin'.
113
00:04:39,637 --> 00:04:41,270
[Exhales]
114
00:04:41,272 --> 00:04:42,805
What's the point, Steve?
115
00:04:42,807 --> 00:04:44,206
Roger's dead.
116
00:04:44,208 --> 00:04:47,743
All that's left of
him is our pasta claw.
117
00:04:49,514 --> 00:04:52,181
Thanks again for
adjusting the handlebars.
118
00:04:52,183 --> 00:04:54,083
Arms are still regenerating.
119
00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:55,985
Of course, we get that all the time.
120
00:04:55,987 --> 00:04:58,554
This model doesn't have
a sidecar option, correct?
121
00:04:58,556 --> 00:04:59,822
Unfortunately, no.
122
00:04:59,824 --> 00:05:01,424
Good. Got no need for one.
123
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:04,126
You see, I'm a lone wolf. A renegade.
124
00:05:04,128 --> 00:05:05,861
Had a need for a sidecar once,
125
00:05:05,863 --> 00:05:09,765
but no longer do I have...
a need... for one.
126
00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:11,133
Super.
127
00:05:11,135 --> 00:05:13,269
Turned my back on that way of life.
128
00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:15,204
Gonna stop caring about people.
129
00:05:15,206 --> 00:05:16,972
'Cause when you care about people,
130
00:05:16,974 --> 00:05:18,808
you care when they're gone.
131
00:05:18,810 --> 00:05:20,910
Pretty cool, man.
132
00:05:20,912 --> 00:05:22,144
- [Starts engine]
- Renegade!
133
00:05:24,682 --> 00:05:26,782
Not cool, man.
134
00:05:28,618 --> 00:05:30,417
?
135
00:05:30,419 --> 00:05:32,286
Roger: I was a man with a family,
136
00:05:32,288 --> 00:05:35,022
who realized I was going
to outlive that family.
137
00:05:35,024 --> 00:05:38,592
So I cut ties, got loose...
loose as a goose.
138
00:05:38,594 --> 00:05:39,960
Set out on my own,
139
00:05:39,962 --> 00:05:42,129
keeping everybody at
goose-length distance.
140
00:05:42,131 --> 00:05:45,833
They're the world's longest
bird if you pull hard enough.
141
00:05:45,835 --> 00:05:47,067
Whoa!
142
00:05:47,069 --> 00:05:48,969
[Screaming]
143
00:05:48,971 --> 00:05:50,571
?
144
00:05:50,573 --> 00:05:53,807
So like I was saying, I'm a renegade.
145
00:05:53,809 --> 00:05:55,342
Movin' from town to town,
146
00:05:55,344 --> 00:05:57,578
helpin' people
who can't help themselves...
147
00:05:57,580 --> 00:05:58,879
Whoa, cow skull!
148
00:05:58,881 --> 00:06:00,848
[Screams]
149
00:06:00,850 --> 00:06:04,151
?
150
00:06:04,613 --> 00:06:06,644
Three wheels. So safe.
151
00:06:06,679 --> 00:06:08,155
Makes way more sense.
152
00:06:08,156 --> 00:06:09,992
_
153
00:06:11,060 --> 00:06:12,660
[Crickets chirping]
154
00:06:12,662 --> 00:06:14,295
[Clears throat]
155
00:06:14,297 --> 00:06:17,131
So, um, you know how I'm the only one
156
00:06:17,133 --> 00:06:18,599
who answers the phone anymore?
157
00:06:18,601 --> 00:06:20,637
[Southern accent] Does it hurt your arm,
158
00:06:20,737 --> 00:06:25,839
pattin' yourself on the back all day,
Mr. Fancy Phone Guy?
159
00:06:25,841 --> 00:06:28,575
[Chuckles] That's an interesting accent,
Mama.
160
00:06:28,577 --> 00:06:32,279
But I-I got a call today
saying someone charged
161
00:06:32,281 --> 00:06:34,315
$31,000 worth of motorcycles
162
00:06:34,317 --> 00:06:36,750
to Dad's credit card in Missouri.
163
00:06:36,752 --> 00:06:38,419
Don't you mean Miz-oor-uh?
164
00:06:38,421 --> 00:06:40,454
Wh-What I mean is, it's weird.
165
00:06:40,456 --> 00:06:43,761
What's also weird is,
the same week, a single man,
166
00:06:43,860 --> 00:06:46,193
calling himself "Ren� Gade"
167
00:06:46,195 --> 00:06:49,029
crashed six motorcycles
within a four-mile stretch
168
00:06:49,031 --> 00:06:50,531
outside of St. Louis.
169
00:06:50,533 --> 00:06:52,466
D-Doesn't that sound like
something Roger would...
170
00:06:52,468 --> 00:06:55,502
Roger's dead, Steve!
You need to accept it like we have!
171
00:06:55,504 --> 00:06:58,238
[Southern accent] Try doin'
something with your life, boy!
172
00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:00,661
Even that scumbag Klaus
turned Roger's attic
173
00:07:00,743 --> 00:07:02,743
into a neighborhood bodega.
174
00:07:02,745 --> 00:07:05,279
We've all moved on!
175
00:07:05,281 --> 00:07:07,481
- Miz-oor-uh!
- We've all moved on!
176
00:07:07,483 --> 00:07:08,949
- Grow a mustache!
- Miz-oor-uh!
177
00:07:08,951 --> 00:07:10,484
- We've all moved on!
- Miz-oor-uh!
178
00:07:10,486 --> 00:07:12,052
- Grow a mustache!
- Miz-oor-uh!
179
00:07:12,054 --> 00:07:13,587
- We've all moved on!
- Grow a mustache!
180
00:07:13,589 --> 00:07:14,850
Miz-oor-uh!
181
00:07:16,392 --> 00:07:18,859
You think it's easy to run a bodega?
182
00:07:18,861 --> 00:07:20,427
Sure, it looks sexy as hell,
183
00:07:20,429 --> 00:07:22,629
with all my dusty cans and the smell of
184
00:07:22,631 --> 00:07:25,899
wet mango blunt wraps wafting
over the big roll of scratchers.
185
00:07:25,901 --> 00:07:28,769
But behind the oldest
boxes of cat food in town
186
00:07:28,771 --> 00:07:32,072
is a man who is under
constant siege by shoplifters
187
00:07:32,074 --> 00:07:33,574
and thieves like you!
188
00:07:33,576 --> 00:07:36,610
Klaus, I'm just saying that
last time printouts were $1.
189
00:07:36,612 --> 00:07:39,046
It's always been $2 per printout, bro.
190
00:07:39,048 --> 00:07:40,481
Read the sign.
191
00:07:40,482 --> 00:07:42,082
_
192
00:07:42,318 --> 00:07:44,318
- [Bell jingles]
- Get out!
193
00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:47,388
I don't like having two
people in here at once.
194
00:07:50,426 --> 00:07:52,893
[Thinking] This guy's
got sticky fingers.
195
00:07:52,895 --> 00:07:54,561
I'm sure of it.
196
00:07:55,598 --> 00:07:57,486
May I help you find something?
197
00:07:57,567 --> 00:07:59,032
The exit perhaps?
198
00:07:59,034 --> 00:08:01,468
Are these 64-ounce Arizona Iced Teas
199
00:08:01,470 --> 00:08:03,003
the biggest ones you have?
200
00:08:03,005 --> 00:08:06,407
Let me check in the back.
201
00:08:06,409 --> 00:08:09,438
Nice try, shit eyes. I know your game.
202
00:08:09,473 --> 00:08:11,803
I go behind that door, and you run off
203
00:08:11,838 --> 00:08:14,715
with a Duraflame and a pocket
bottle of Rumple Minze.
204
00:08:14,717 --> 00:08:16,283
- What?
- Get out!
205
00:08:16,285 --> 00:08:17,885
You want a bigger iced tea?!
206
00:08:17,887 --> 00:08:19,486
Well, I want the health department
207
00:08:19,488 --> 00:08:21,255
to let me reopen my deli counter!
208
00:08:21,257 --> 00:08:24,324
I want to be balls-deep in egg salad!
209
00:08:24,326 --> 00:08:26,093
I want to be able to brag
210
00:08:26,095 --> 00:08:29,596
that this is a Boar's
Head establishment again!
211
00:08:29,598 --> 00:08:32,132
?
212
00:08:34,203 --> 00:08:35,379
All right, listen up!
213
00:08:35,438 --> 00:08:39,006
There's a new renegade in town
and he's hungry for 'gading!
214
00:08:39,008 --> 00:08:40,541
Now who has an injustice?
215
00:08:40,543 --> 00:08:43,844
Well, there is a local biker
gang that's been terrorizing us.
216
00:08:43,846 --> 00:08:45,646
Well, not anymore.
217
00:08:46,369 --> 00:08:47,381
Something to eat?
218
00:08:47,383 --> 00:08:50,117
Thought I'd finish up these fries.
219
00:08:50,119 --> 00:08:52,453
- Those are cold.
- I'm a renegade.
220
00:08:52,455 --> 00:08:55,756
I like my fries cold
and my beers smokin' hot.
221
00:08:57,580 --> 00:08:58,625
[Whispers] That's them!
222
00:08:58,627 --> 00:08:59,726
A-Are you sure?
223
00:08:59,728 --> 00:09:02,396
I can't renegade unless
you're 100% sure.
224
00:09:02,398 --> 00:09:04,264
I'm sure, I'm sure.
225
00:09:04,266 --> 00:09:06,633
It sounds like you're saying "unsure"...
226
00:09:08,724 --> 00:09:09,703
- Whoa!
- Aah!
227
00:09:09,705 --> 00:09:10,804
[Crash]
228
00:09:10,806 --> 00:09:13,707
You picked the wrong
day to come in here!
229
00:09:13,709 --> 00:09:15,976
We got us a renegade!
230
00:09:15,978 --> 00:09:18,679
Mm, mm, mm!
231
00:09:18,681 --> 00:09:21,415
The fries are so good!
232
00:09:21,417 --> 00:09:24,051
Who's the renegade? This guy?
233
00:09:24,053 --> 00:09:25,252
- [Grunts]
- Argh!
234
00:09:25,254 --> 00:09:27,654
Please, sir, help us!
235
00:09:27,656 --> 00:09:29,923
Fries, fries, fries, fries, fries.
236
00:09:29,925 --> 00:09:31,124
[Woman screaming]
237
00:09:31,126 --> 00:09:34,361
[All shouting]
238
00:09:34,363 --> 00:09:37,798
Ugh! You promised to help us.
239
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:40,601
[Screams]
240
00:09:40,603 --> 00:09:42,636
[Blows landing]
241
00:09:42,638 --> 00:09:47,174
You're a coward.
242
00:09:47,176 --> 00:09:49,576
Would a coward do this?
243
00:09:50,513 --> 00:09:54,414
- ?
- _
244
00:09:54,416 --> 00:09:56,016
[Crickets chirping]
245
00:09:56,018 --> 00:09:59,985
?
246
00:09:59,986 --> 00:10:00,986
_
247
00:10:01,390 --> 00:10:04,391
Where are you going, Roger?
248
00:10:08,964 --> 00:10:11,064
?
249
00:10:11,066 --> 00:10:14,234
He's riding the Oregon Trail!
250
00:10:14,236 --> 00:10:17,938
Ore-gone? Ore-ginn?
251
00:10:17,940 --> 00:10:20,707
Trail? Treal?
252
00:10:20,709 --> 00:10:23,243
Man, everything is sounding weird to me.
253
00:10:23,245 --> 00:10:24,912
My name is Steve.
254
00:10:24,914 --> 00:10:27,614
Steeeve.
255
00:10:27,616 --> 00:10:29,783
Stoive?
256
00:10:29,784 --> 00:10:30,784
_
257
00:10:31,687 --> 00:10:36,123
Work hard, play hard,
it's the renegade way.
258
00:10:36,539 --> 00:10:39,226
Hello? Anybody there?
259
00:10:43,465 --> 00:10:45,666
"Wanted, renegade.
260
00:10:45,668 --> 00:10:48,835
Minimal bravery and
motorcycle skills required."
261
00:10:48,837 --> 00:10:50,037
Yes!
262
00:10:50,039 --> 00:10:51,972
Uh, hello?
263
00:10:51,974 --> 00:10:55,475
Damn it, wrong side.
264
00:10:55,477 --> 00:10:57,744
Bluh-luh-luh-luh.
265
00:10:58,914 --> 00:11:01,648
Ech, should've parked closer.
266
00:11:04,153 --> 00:11:05,419
Stoive?!
267
00:11:05,421 --> 00:11:07,688
Roger! I knew you were alive!
268
00:11:07,690 --> 00:11:10,691
Why'd you do this?
Roger, we're your family.
269
00:11:10,693 --> 00:11:12,359
Well, it's better if you're not!
270
00:11:12,361 --> 00:11:13,760
Because when you love something
271
00:11:13,762 --> 00:11:15,996
and you know you're gonna lose it,
it hurts!
272
00:11:15,998 --> 00:11:17,464
And I can't keep doing it!
273
00:11:17,466 --> 00:11:20,701
- Keep doing it?
- I loved another family once.
274
00:11:20,703 --> 00:11:22,102
As much as you guys.
275
00:11:22,104 --> 00:11:23,971
They were pioneers...
276
00:11:23,973 --> 00:11:25,339
Wait a minute.
277
00:11:25,341 --> 00:11:27,604
I thought you landed in Roswell
in the '40s.
278
00:11:27,676 --> 00:11:28,595
The second time.
279
00:11:28,611 --> 00:11:30,611
The first time,
I was with my Aunt Carolynn.
280
00:11:30,613 --> 00:11:32,446
She had always been a bad driver.
281
00:11:32,448 --> 00:11:34,715
A little thing like her
nephew's Nerf football
282
00:11:34,717 --> 00:11:37,317
bouncing on the light speed
button and she was all,
283
00:11:37,319 --> 00:11:39,186
"Blaah! Brace for impact!"
284
00:11:39,188 --> 00:11:40,954
She was killed instantly.
285
00:11:40,956 --> 00:11:42,990
[Gasps] Oh, my God, that's terrible!
286
00:11:42,992 --> 00:11:45,492
Oh! Are we...
Are we both telling this story?
287
00:11:45,494 --> 00:11:46,727
No? Okay, then.
288
00:11:46,729 --> 00:11:49,029
Now, without further interruption...
289
00:11:49,031 --> 00:11:49,880
where was I?
290
00:11:50,032 --> 00:11:52,933
Damn. Uch, forget it!
291
00:11:52,935 --> 00:11:54,768
Nah, nah, it's a good story,
I'm gonna finish it.
292
00:11:54,770 --> 00:11:57,537
Anyway, that's when I met the Meekers,
293
00:11:57,539 --> 00:11:59,580
a family of fur trappers.
294
00:12:01,076 --> 00:12:04,578
They took me in,
treated me as one of their own,
295
00:12:04,580 --> 00:12:07,814
and I joined them on
their trip to Oregon.
296
00:12:07,816 --> 00:12:10,317
?
297
00:12:10,319 --> 00:12:13,987
Things were going great till one
of our wagon wheels popped off.
298
00:12:13,989 --> 00:12:19,693
?
299
00:12:19,695 --> 00:12:23,363
That was an incredibly long hill.
300
00:12:23,365 --> 00:12:24,698
And I was exhausted.
301
00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:27,000
But I was in better
shape than the Meekers.
302
00:12:27,002 --> 00:12:29,418
?
303
00:12:30,081 --> 00:12:31,579
_
304
00:12:32,005 --> 00:12:33,433
_
305
00:12:33,716 --> 00:12:35,477
_
306
00:12:35,944 --> 00:12:38,078
_
307
00:12:38,514 --> 00:12:40,313
Roger, I'm so sorry.
308
00:12:40,315 --> 00:12:42,282
Now it makes sense why you're out here
309
00:12:42,284 --> 00:12:44,051
retracing the Oregon Trail.
310
00:12:44,053 --> 00:12:46,520
I am? I had no idea.
311
00:12:46,522 --> 00:12:48,555
I thought I was just
following Soul Asylum
312
00:12:48,557 --> 00:12:50,857
from county fair to county fair.
313
00:12:50,859 --> 00:12:53,427
But playing Oregon Trail with you
314
00:12:53,429 --> 00:12:55,462
stirred up memories of the Meekers.
315
00:12:55,464 --> 00:12:58,999
And I realized I-I'm gonna
outlive the Smiths, too.
316
00:12:59,001 --> 00:13:01,334
That's why I faked my death,
hit the road,
317
00:13:01,336 --> 00:13:02,836
and became a famous renegade.
318
00:13:02,838 --> 00:13:05,572
But, Roger,
people live so much longer now.
319
00:13:05,574 --> 00:13:07,741
I mean, with advancements in technology,
320
00:13:07,743 --> 00:13:09,543
who knows how long we'll be together.
321
00:13:09,545 --> 00:13:11,545
Technology, huh?
322
00:13:11,547 --> 00:13:13,380
Haven't really thought about that.
323
00:13:13,382 --> 00:13:14,715
It's a big deal these days, isn't it?
324
00:13:14,717 --> 00:13:17,317
What do you say? Ready to come home?
325
00:13:17,319 --> 00:13:19,519
Stop fretting about
the time we don't have
326
00:13:19,521 --> 00:13:21,588
and start enjoying the time we do.
327
00:13:21,590 --> 00:13:23,890
Technology, baby!
328
00:13:23,892 --> 00:13:26,526
[Grunting]
329
00:13:26,528 --> 00:13:28,595
Look who I found!
330
00:13:28,597 --> 00:13:29,663
Yeah!
331
00:13:29,665 --> 00:13:31,031
- Roger!
- You're alive!
332
00:13:31,033 --> 00:13:33,767
- Miz-oor-uh!
- I'm sorry I left you guys,
333
00:13:33,769 --> 00:13:35,902
and I can't give you back the last year,
334
00:13:35,904 --> 00:13:37,904
although it looks like
you all were doing great.
335
00:13:37,906 --> 00:13:41,108
What I can do is pick up
right where we left off.
336
00:13:41,110 --> 00:13:42,476
The car accident?
337
00:13:42,478 --> 00:13:44,845
No, silly! Jerking off at our sleepover!
338
00:13:44,847 --> 00:13:46,580
I don't think that we agreed on that.
339
00:13:46,582 --> 00:13:50,050
All right, Steve,
play it cool for your parents.
340
00:13:50,052 --> 00:13:52,219
[Crickets chirping]
341
00:13:52,221 --> 00:13:55,288
I thought we could start with
a little Motorcycle Mayhem.
342
00:13:55,290 --> 00:13:58,859
Nah, come on big daddy,
let's fire up that Dutch oven.
343
00:13:58,861 --> 00:14:01,895
Roger, I thought you'd never ask.
344
00:14:01,897 --> 00:14:03,163
[Screams]
345
00:14:03,165 --> 00:14:04,798
[Both grunting]
346
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,234
Oh, this boy is so strong!
347
00:14:07,236 --> 00:14:08,568
Roger, help!
348
00:14:08,570 --> 00:14:10,137
Hold on, buddy!
349
00:14:10,139 --> 00:14:12,305
There you go, Dr. Weitzman.
350
00:14:12,307 --> 00:14:16,643
?
351
00:14:19,248 --> 00:14:22,015
Mom? Dad? Where are we?
352
00:14:22,017 --> 00:14:23,950
Roger: Oh, good. You're all awake.
353
00:14:23,952 --> 00:14:26,787
- Stan: What the hell?
- You were right, Steve.
354
00:14:26,789 --> 00:14:28,789
With technology,
I'll never have to worry
355
00:14:28,791 --> 00:14:30,457
about out-living you guys.
356
00:14:30,459 --> 00:14:33,560
You'll be safe and sound
inside my Macintosh.
357
00:14:33,562 --> 00:14:35,266
You mean our Macintosh!
358
00:14:35,564 --> 00:14:38,598
Seriously?
That's your biggest concern right now?
359
00:14:41,909 --> 00:14:43,742
Roger, get us out of this computer!
360
00:14:43,744 --> 00:14:45,277
I'm putting my foot down!
361
00:14:45,279 --> 00:14:46,678
[Laughs] That's cute.
362
00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:49,181
- But your foot's over here.
- [All gasping]
363
00:14:49,183 --> 00:14:51,216
Why are you doing this to us?!
364
00:14:51,218 --> 00:14:52,584
It's for your own good!
365
00:14:52,586 --> 00:14:54,686
You used to live in
these vulnerable bodies.
366
00:14:54,688 --> 00:14:57,622
Bodies break down. Look.
367
00:14:58,792 --> 00:15:00,425
Ugh! I'm gonna be sick.
368
00:15:00,427 --> 00:15:01,860
No, that's the point.
369
00:15:01,862 --> 00:15:03,729
You're never gonna be sick again.
370
00:15:03,731 --> 00:15:06,298
Thanks to technology,
you'll live as long as me.
371
00:15:06,300 --> 00:15:08,200
Roger, this is not what I meant.
372
00:15:08,202 --> 00:15:09,701
You're so humble, Steve.
373
00:15:09,703 --> 00:15:12,003
But when you started blabbing
about technology this
374
00:15:12,005 --> 00:15:14,639
and technology that, it dawned on me.
375
00:15:14,641 --> 00:15:16,708
If the CIA can put Klaus' mind
376
00:15:16,710 --> 00:15:18,810
in a fish's body or Stan's car,
377
00:15:18,812 --> 00:15:21,413
they should be able to put
the family in a computer.
378
00:15:21,415 --> 00:15:23,215
And Dr. Weitzman agreed to this?
379
00:15:23,217 --> 00:15:23,973
Not at first.
380
00:15:23,985 --> 00:15:27,786
But it turns out Dr.
Weitzman is a big fan of $20.
381
00:15:31,592 --> 00:15:33,625
[Thinking] Just my luck.
382
00:15:33,627 --> 00:15:36,428
Another scumbag thief.
383
00:15:37,931 --> 00:15:39,798
Do you have any bags of marshmallows
384
00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:41,533
that aren't all melted together?
385
00:15:41,535 --> 00:15:43,168
- No!
- That's fine.
386
00:15:43,170 --> 00:15:44,603
Probably packing heat.
387
00:15:44,605 --> 00:15:46,505
Getting robbed at gunpoint
388
00:15:46,507 --> 00:15:48,840
would be hell on my profit margins.
389
00:15:48,842 --> 00:15:50,709
Well, I'm ready to...
390
00:15:50,711 --> 00:15:52,978
My thin margins!
391
00:15:56,183 --> 00:15:58,083
I'm the health inspector.
392
00:15:59,086 --> 00:16:02,687
You can reopen your deli counter.
393
00:16:04,424 --> 00:16:06,324
What am I doing?
394
00:16:06,326 --> 00:16:08,760
I gotta call my Boar's Head guy!
395
00:16:08,762 --> 00:16:10,595
Hayley:
I'm not trying to trick you, Roger.
396
00:16:10,597 --> 00:16:12,164
That sounded like a
gunshot in the house.
397
00:16:12,166 --> 00:16:13,832
Ever since you've been in a computer,
398
00:16:13,834 --> 00:16:15,534
you think you know what every sound is.
399
00:16:15,536 --> 00:16:18,403
I'll go see what it actually was.
400
00:16:18,405 --> 00:16:20,005
Okay, guys, I got a plan.
401
00:16:20,007 --> 00:16:21,973
If we can get into MacPaint,
402
00:16:21,975 --> 00:16:24,743
we can get a message to
Klaus to come save us.
403
00:16:24,745 --> 00:16:25,500
How?
404
00:16:25,546 --> 00:16:29,047
This computer is connected
to the printer in his bodega.
405
00:16:31,718 --> 00:16:34,352
Hayley, you're the graffiti artist...
start writing!
406
00:16:34,354 --> 00:16:36,955
- What?
- You're... You're into graffiti, right?
407
00:16:36,957 --> 00:16:39,391
You and all the girls in your gang?
408
00:16:39,393 --> 00:16:40,759
I'm not in a gang.
409
00:16:40,761 --> 00:16:42,761
But you got the bandana...
410
00:16:42,763 --> 00:16:45,096
We're not very close, are we?
411
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:48,567
Roger: Ah-ah-ah!
412
00:16:49,736 --> 00:16:51,837
And just to be safe...
413
00:16:53,473 --> 00:16:56,274
He has total control over us!
414
00:16:56,276 --> 00:16:58,143
Maybe not.
415
00:17:00,747 --> 00:17:02,781
[Gasps] You dick!
416
00:17:02,783 --> 00:17:05,984
Everyone, into the game!
It's our only way out!
417
00:17:07,805 --> 00:17:09,588
No! It's suicide!
418
00:17:09,590 --> 00:17:12,891
?
419
00:17:12,893 --> 00:17:15,393
If we beat this game,
we can print out a message
420
00:17:15,395 --> 00:17:17,996
to Klaus on the
certificate of completion.
421
00:17:17,998 --> 00:17:20,532
We've reached the Kansas River Crossing!
422
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:23,034
We can ford it, float it,
423
00:17:23,036 --> 00:17:24,803
or wait and see if conditions improve!
424
00:17:24,805 --> 00:17:26,605
Wait and see, wait and see...
425
00:17:26,607 --> 00:17:29,741
This family's built... ford tough!
426
00:17:29,743 --> 00:17:31,543
Dad, are you high?!
427
00:17:31,545 --> 00:17:33,712
I'll tell you what's high, Hayley.
428
00:17:33,714 --> 00:17:35,580
The heights you can soar to
429
00:17:35,582 --> 00:17:38,250
when you work together as a family...
430
00:17:38,585 --> 00:17:40,986
- [Computerized jingle]
- _
431
00:17:40,988 --> 00:17:44,055
[Gasps] No! It's happening again!
432
00:17:44,057 --> 00:17:45,891
- [Beeping]
- _
433
00:17:45,893 --> 00:17:47,158
It's just a game.
434
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:49,227
I-I didn't think we'd feel anything,
435
00:17:49,229 --> 00:17:53,098
but I now know how it
feels to drown to death.
436
00:17:53,100 --> 00:17:55,200
Like a wicked-long keg stand!
437
00:17:55,202 --> 00:17:58,203
Come on, guys,
we've got to beat this thing!
438
00:17:58,205 --> 00:18:00,438
[Oxen lowing]
439
00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:06,177
?
440
00:18:06,179 --> 00:18:08,246
[Screams]
441
00:18:08,248 --> 00:18:12,217
?
442
00:18:12,219 --> 00:18:13,752
[Gasps]
443
00:18:13,754 --> 00:18:16,721
[Gasps] Aah!
444
00:18:16,723 --> 00:18:18,123
[Whimpers]
445
00:18:18,125 --> 00:18:20,091
[Whooping]
446
00:18:20,093 --> 00:18:22,661
?
447
00:18:22,663 --> 00:18:24,362
Ah!
448
00:18:24,364 --> 00:18:28,333
?
449
00:18:28,335 --> 00:18:29,768
Aah!
450
00:18:29,770 --> 00:18:31,703
?
451
00:18:31,705 --> 00:18:34,706
[Screams]
452
00:18:34,708 --> 00:18:36,942
[Gasps]
453
00:18:36,944 --> 00:18:38,443
Ugh!
454
00:18:38,445 --> 00:18:40,278
Aah!
455
00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:43,915
?
456
00:18:43,917 --> 00:18:47,252
[Teeth chattering]
457
00:18:47,254 --> 00:18:48,687
Aah!
458
00:18:48,689 --> 00:18:51,289
?
459
00:18:51,291 --> 00:18:53,625
- [Gasps]
- Aah!
460
00:18:53,627 --> 00:18:59,431
?
461
00:18:59,433 --> 00:19:02,701
Look! Over yonder!
462
00:19:02,703 --> 00:19:05,437
Francine: We made it to Oregon!
463
00:19:05,439 --> 00:19:07,906
- [Computerized jingle]
- _
464
00:19:07,908 --> 00:19:10,642
Steve: Quick! Print...
465
00:19:10,644 --> 00:19:13,078
[Birds cawing]
466
00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:15,914
[Thinking] All right, Klaus.
You shot an unarmed man.
467
00:19:15,916 --> 00:19:17,515
Gotta make it seem like a shootout,
468
00:19:17,517 --> 00:19:19,918
then it'll be his word against yours.
469
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:22,854
Just a small chunk of fin.
470
00:19:24,658 --> 00:19:27,459
That's not gonna do it. Too small.
471
00:19:27,461 --> 00:19:28,793
[Screams]
472
00:19:28,795 --> 00:19:30,862
Oh, that's perfect.
473
00:19:30,864 --> 00:19:32,931
You can rest now, Klaus.
474
00:19:32,933 --> 00:19:36,501
Your margins are safe.
475
00:19:36,503 --> 00:19:37,836
[Doorbell rings]
476
00:19:37,838 --> 00:19:40,138
Man: Boar's Head! Boar's head delivery!
477
00:19:40,140 --> 00:19:42,841
Big round balls of turkey comin' in!
478
00:19:44,177 --> 00:19:46,411
Oh, my God!
479
00:19:46,413 --> 00:19:49,948
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
480
00:19:49,950 --> 00:19:51,549
OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod...
481
00:19:51,551 --> 00:19:54,519
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
482
00:19:54,521 --> 00:19:55,887
OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod...
483
00:19:55,889 --> 00:19:58,556
Ehh. Oh, my God.
484
00:19:58,558 --> 00:20:00,558
Ahh, my arm!
485
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:02,560
Di... Did Klaus save us?
486
00:20:02,562 --> 00:20:05,196
Oh, no, Klaus got shot up
and robbed by some maniac.
487
00:20:05,198 --> 00:20:07,132
Then how are we back in our bodies?
488
00:20:07,134 --> 00:20:08,900
I think I know what happened.
489
00:20:08,902 --> 00:20:11,803
Roger saw us do what
the Meekers couldn't.
490
00:20:11,805 --> 00:20:14,624
He saw us survive the Oregon Trail
491
00:20:14,659 --> 00:20:15,774
and was so impressed...
492
00:20:15,776 --> 00:20:18,109
Wrong! I pulled you out of the computer
493
00:20:18,111 --> 00:20:21,446
because I saw you die so many times,
it desensitized me.
494
00:20:21,448 --> 00:20:22,947
Desensitized you?
495
00:20:22,949 --> 00:20:26,117
Yeah, I watched you die
in every conceivable way.
496
00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:27,385
Except for you, Francine,
497
00:20:27,387 --> 00:20:29,287
you just kept dying from dysentery.
498
00:20:29,289 --> 00:20:31,523
Couldn't stop drinking
that mud water could you,
499
00:20:31,525 --> 00:20:32,924
you silly dumb-dumb?
500
00:20:32,926 --> 00:20:34,459
I was thirsty.
501
00:20:34,461 --> 00:20:35,994
So you're really cured?
502
00:20:35,996 --> 00:20:37,629
Yep, cured as a cucumber.
503
00:20:37,631 --> 00:20:40,365
The thought of you dying doesn't
bother me at all anymore.
504
00:20:40,367 --> 00:20:43,201
Oh, Roger,
that's all we could ever hope for!
505
00:20:43,203 --> 00:20:46,237
But when we are gone,
we sure are gonna miss you, Roger.
506
00:20:46,239 --> 00:20:48,840
No, you'll be dead. You won't even know.
507
00:20:48,842 --> 00:20:50,340
I'll know. But I won't care.
508
00:20:50,498 --> 00:20:52,865
All right, Roger.
We're happy you're back to normal,
509
00:20:52,867 --> 00:20:55,234
but let's try and be kind.
510
00:20:55,236 --> 00:20:58,471
I'll dance on your graves.
511
00:20:58,473 --> 00:20:59,918
Bye! Have a great time!
512
00:21:01,919 --> 00:21:03,919
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
513
00:21:03,969 --> 00:21:08,519
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