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1
00:00:02,677 --> 00:00:04,528
God, I love the local news.
2
00:00:04,563 --> 00:00:06,946
Every summer,
they tell me how to beat the heat,
3
00:00:06,948 --> 00:00:08,781
and every summer it works.
4
00:00:12,053 --> 00:00:13,486
You know, in other local news,
5
00:00:13,488 --> 00:00:15,722
I was walking through
a parking lot yesterday
6
00:00:15,724 --> 00:00:19,058
and [coughs] some ruffians approached
7
00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:22,929
and [coughs]...
Sorry, I can't shake this cough.
8
00:00:22,931 --> 00:00:27,200
And these ruffians stole my... [coughs]
9
00:00:27,202 --> 00:00:28,334
Butt virginity?
10
00:00:28,336 --> 00:00:29,569
No, my... [coughs]
11
00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:30,737
Travel-sized mouthwash?
12
00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:31,771
Butt virginity?
13
00:00:31,773 --> 00:00:33,773
No, my... [coughs]
14
00:00:33,775 --> 00:00:35,608
Zagnut candy bar, dude.
15
00:00:35,610 --> 00:00:37,043
God, Klaus, you're the only guy
16
00:00:37,045 --> 00:00:38,978
who could start a story in a parking lot
17
00:00:38,980 --> 00:00:41,014
and have it turn out terrible.
18
00:00:41,015 --> 00:00:42,707
_
19
00:00:43,184 --> 00:00:45,485
Ugh, I hate going to the doctor.
20
00:00:45,487 --> 00:00:47,020
Thanks for coming, Stan.
21
00:00:47,022 --> 00:00:48,988
I must say,
I'm a little surprised you did.
22
00:00:48,990 --> 00:00:51,658
Yeah, me, too. Maybe I'm depressed.
23
00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:52,925
I heard "depressed"?
24
00:00:52,927 --> 00:00:55,461
Did I already give you the bad news?
25
00:00:55,463 --> 00:00:56,596
There's bad news?
26
00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:57,630
I don't know, let's see.
27
00:00:57,632 --> 00:01:00,533
We are talking about Klaus,
28
00:01:00,535 --> 00:01:02,935
the goldfish, with...
29
00:01:02,937 --> 00:01:04,154
- AIDS.
- [Gasps]
30
00:01:04,154 --> 00:01:05,638
No, that's not right.
31
00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:06,739
Klaus doesn't have AIDS.
32
00:01:06,741 --> 00:01:08,341
Klaus here has fish cough,
33
00:01:08,343 --> 00:01:09,742
which is extremely common.
34
00:01:09,744 --> 00:01:10,643
[Sighs]
35
00:01:10,645 --> 00:01:12,211
And extremely deadly.
36
00:01:12,213 --> 00:01:12,879
[Gasps]
37
00:01:12,881 --> 00:01:14,681
But who has AIDS?
38
00:01:14,683 --> 00:01:16,582
Someone has AIDS.
39
00:01:16,584 --> 00:01:19,218
Yeah, I feel like I read something
about someone having AIDS.
40
00:01:19,220 --> 00:01:20,623
Right?
41
00:01:22,290 --> 00:01:23,656
Guys!
42
00:01:23,658 --> 00:01:26,826
True, it is mainly guys who get AIDS.
43
00:01:26,828 --> 00:01:29,046
But which one?
44
00:01:31,099 --> 00:01:33,566
45
00:01:33,568 --> 00:01:36,069
Good morning, U.S.A.
46
00:01:36,071 --> 00:01:39,939
I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day
47
00:01:39,941 --> 00:01:43,042
The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face
48
00:01:43,044 --> 00:01:47,747
And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race
49
00:01:49,217 --> 00:01:52,785
Oh, boy, it's swell to say
50
00:01:52,787 --> 00:01:55,354
-
Good...
-
Good morning, U.S.A.
51
00:01:55,356 --> 00:01:56,389
Aah!
52
00:01:57,659 --> 00:02:00,526
Good morning, U.S.A.
53
00:02:00,527 --> 00:02:02,027
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
54
00:02:03,732 --> 00:02:04,864
Well, we tried.
55
00:02:04,866 --> 00:02:05,765
[Sighs]
56
00:02:05,767 --> 00:02:08,634
So, there is a surgery
that'll save your fish's life.
57
00:02:08,636 --> 00:02:10,103
It is $10,000.
58
00:02:10,105 --> 00:02:12,705
Let's talk alternatives.
Let's talk rest and rehab.
59
00:02:12,707 --> 00:02:14,507
You can't rest or rehab "fish cough."
60
00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:16,576
Can't or won't?
61
00:02:16,578 --> 00:02:19,078
Five bucks? And that was mine!
62
00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:20,880
I gave it to you for parking!
63
00:02:20,882 --> 00:02:23,282
Look, sir, here's the bottom line...
without the surgery,
64
00:02:23,284 --> 00:02:26,018
your pet has a 1% chance of survival.
65
00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:27,120
1%?!
66
00:02:27,122 --> 00:02:29,655
I'm a Powerball man.
Those are great odds.
67
00:02:29,657 --> 00:02:31,357
But, Stan, maybe the surgery...
68
00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:33,993
Is a pyramid scheme?
You're right, Klaus.
69
00:02:33,995 --> 00:02:37,230
Mary Kay was too good to be true,
and so is this!
70
00:02:39,850 --> 00:02:41,426
_
71
00:02:42,003 --> 00:02:44,303
[All snickering]
72
00:02:44,305 --> 00:02:46,539
Man: Del Taco, may I take your order?
73
00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:50,843
Yeah, we'd like [snorts]
four ice waters, please.
74
00:02:50,845 --> 00:02:52,078
[Laughter]
75
00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:53,846
Four ice waters coming up.
76
00:02:53,848 --> 00:02:55,515
[Laughter]
77
00:02:55,517 --> 00:02:57,517
Vrum, vrum, vrum, vrum, vrum!
Vrum, vrum, vrum, vrum, vrum!
78
00:02:57,519 --> 00:03:00,186
Errrrrk! Oh, sorry,
didn't know you worked...
79
00:03:00,188 --> 00:03:02,622
Ice waters? As far as pranks go,
80
00:03:02,624 --> 00:03:05,291
this is as lame as it gets, boys.
Step it up!
81
00:03:05,293 --> 00:03:08,361
Live a little! Go throw eggs
off the overpass or something.
82
00:03:08,363 --> 00:03:10,763
That's a prank! Now if you don't mind,
83
00:03:10,765 --> 00:03:12,331
I'm in the middle of
a little pickle here.
84
00:03:12,333 --> 00:03:15,334
A homeless man has barricaded
himself in the bathroom,
85
00:03:15,336 --> 00:03:18,304
and literally every
customer has diarrhea.
86
00:03:21,383 --> 00:03:23,050
[Cellphone chimes, vibrates]
87
00:03:23,052 --> 00:03:26,186
"When will you be home?
Trying to figure out dinner."
88
00:03:26,208 --> 00:03:28,342
God, Francine is obsessed with me.
89
00:03:28,344 --> 00:03:31,111
Hey, Stan, what if we go to the C.I.A.
90
00:03:31,113 --> 00:03:32,946
and have them put me in another body?
91
00:03:32,948 --> 00:03:34,114
Great thought!
92
00:03:34,116 --> 00:03:37,117
Unfortunately, we don't have bodies
just lying around like we used to.
93
00:03:37,119 --> 00:03:38,452
They shred them now.
94
00:03:38,454 --> 00:03:42,723
Oh. It's too bad the
surgery's so expensive.
95
00:03:42,725 --> 00:03:43,891
[Coughs]
96
00:03:43,893 --> 00:03:46,026
I know you have a family to support
97
00:03:46,028 --> 00:03:48,271
and Steve will be going
to college in a few years.
98
00:03:48,271 --> 00:03:49,230
Is that definite?
99
00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:52,966
He's got his eye on Arizona State
because of all the...
100
00:03:52,968 --> 00:03:58,038
[coughing]
101
00:03:58,040 --> 00:03:59,740
...sluts on campus.
102
00:03:59,742 --> 00:04:01,241
I know what'll cheer you up!
103
00:04:01,243 --> 00:04:04,011
Navi-Joe, play big band jazz.
104
00:04:04,013 --> 00:04:04,878
[Device beeps]
105
00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:07,881
[Big band music plays]
106
00:04:07,883 --> 00:04:09,450
New sound system?
107
00:04:09,452 --> 00:04:11,182
Not just a sound system, Klaus...
108
00:04:11,182 --> 00:04:12,853
An everything system.
109
00:04:12,855 --> 00:04:14,588
It's the brain of the car.
110
00:04:14,590 --> 00:04:17,157
It can brake, it can park, and it talks.
111
00:04:17,159 --> 00:04:19,293
Whoa! Sounds expensive.
112
00:04:19,295 --> 00:04:21,228
Not really. Navi-Joe,
tell him how much you cost.
113
00:04:21,230 --> 00:04:22,329
[Music stops, device beeps]
114
00:04:22,331 --> 00:04:25,944
Navi-Joe is a steal at $9,000.
115
00:04:25,944 --> 00:04:27,175
9 grand?
116
00:04:27,175 --> 00:04:28,535
I paid 10.
117
00:04:28,537 --> 00:04:31,205
You spent that much to soup up your car,
118
00:04:31,207 --> 00:04:33,474
but not to save my life?
119
00:04:33,476 --> 00:04:35,126
Klaus, you're thinking
about this all wrong.
120
00:04:35,126 --> 00:04:38,846
That money is already spent on Navi-Joe.
121
00:04:38,848 --> 00:04:42,182
[Device beeps, music continues]
122
00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:47,187
[Laughs] I just remembered...
123
00:04:47,189 --> 00:04:50,257
I actually paid $11,000 for Navi-Joe.
124
00:04:50,259 --> 00:04:53,894
I tipped the salesman several times
throughout the negotiation,
125
00:04:53,896 --> 00:04:55,763
kept him motivated until the end.
126
00:04:55,765 --> 00:04:58,332
[Crying]
127
00:04:58,334 --> 00:05:00,367
Navi-Joe, drive!
128
00:05:00,770 --> 00:05:01,969
[Tires screech]
129
00:05:01,971 --> 00:05:03,237
That's the spirit!
130
00:05:03,239 --> 00:05:06,006
Take Navi-Joe for a spin
while you still can!
131
00:05:06,008 --> 00:05:09,176
I kind of got a Make-A-Wish
thing happening here.
132
00:05:09,178 --> 00:05:09,877
[Ding]
133
00:05:09,879 --> 00:05:12,479
"See cashier for receipt."
134
00:05:12,481 --> 00:05:14,248
Every time.
135
00:05:17,820 --> 00:05:21,388
[Breathes deeply]
136
00:05:25,928 --> 00:05:27,861
LoJack says he's just
a mile down the road.
137
00:05:27,863 --> 00:05:29,496
God, I hope he's okay.
138
00:05:29,498 --> 00:05:33,033
Honey, he's a grown fish.
Klaus can take care of himself.
139
00:05:33,035 --> 00:05:34,935
Klaus? I'm talking about Navi-Joe.
140
00:05:34,937 --> 00:05:36,117
Who's Navi-Joe?
141
00:05:36,117 --> 00:05:37,309
My best friend.
142
00:05:37,309 --> 00:05:39,088
I thought I was your best friend.
143
00:05:39,088 --> 00:05:40,696
Really?
144
00:05:42,778 --> 00:05:44,711
[Brakes squeak]
145
00:05:44,713 --> 00:05:46,280
Oh, God, it looks like an accident!
146
00:05:46,282 --> 00:05:48,682
I'm coming for you, Navi-Joe!
147
00:05:48,684 --> 00:05:49,883
Ooh.
148
00:05:49,885 --> 00:05:52,753
Authorized personnel only, sir.
149
00:05:54,423 --> 00:05:58,792
Ugh.
150
00:05:58,794 --> 00:06:00,828
[Breathing deeply]
151
00:06:00,830 --> 00:06:04,131
[Crying]
152
00:06:05,835 --> 00:06:06,700
[Gasps]
153
00:06:06,702 --> 00:06:08,202
154
00:06:08,204 --> 00:06:10,003
He's cold.
155
00:06:10,005 --> 00:06:11,705
Klaus's voice: Well, I am German.
156
00:06:11,707 --> 00:06:13,133
Oh, ah, gross, he's alive!
157
00:06:13,133 --> 00:06:15,008
Hell yeah, I am!
158
00:06:15,010 --> 00:06:16,977
I found a way to cheat death.
159
00:06:16,979 --> 00:06:19,012
Remember that show "My Mother the Car"?
160
00:06:19,014 --> 00:06:21,715
Well, change the word "car" to "fish"
161
00:06:21,717 --> 00:06:23,450
and the word "mother" to "car"
162
00:06:23,452 --> 00:06:26,420
and the word "the" to "is now my former"
163
00:06:26,422 --> 00:06:28,789
because your car
164
00:06:28,791 --> 00:06:32,125
is now your former fish, bro!
165
00:06:34,316 --> 00:06:36,231
How did you get in my car, Klaus?
166
00:06:36,231 --> 00:06:37,931
I'm alive, Stan.
167
00:06:37,933 --> 00:06:39,800
I thought you'd be happy about this.
168
00:06:39,802 --> 00:06:42,469
I'll be happy when I know
what you did to Navi-Joe.
169
00:06:42,471 --> 00:06:44,805
Oh, don't worry about Navi-Schmoe.
170
00:06:44,807 --> 00:06:46,673
I can do more than he could ever do.
171
00:06:46,675 --> 00:06:47,933
And more.
172
00:06:47,933 --> 00:06:50,544
Have you ever seen the
fountains at the Bellagio?
173
00:06:50,546 --> 00:06:52,179
Child's play.
174
00:06:52,181 --> 00:06:54,214
175
00:07:00,089 --> 00:07:02,422
Enough with the razzle-dazzle.
Tell me what happened.
176
00:07:02,424 --> 00:07:05,225
I was furious with you for
wasting my operation money
177
00:07:05,227 --> 00:07:07,961
on your precious car,
so I went to the C.I.A.
178
00:07:07,963 --> 00:07:09,975
to check if they really do shred bodies.
179
00:07:09,975 --> 00:07:11,531
You didn't believe me?
180
00:07:11,533 --> 00:07:12,601
[Sarcastically] No.
181
00:07:12,601 --> 00:07:15,535
I hope I haven't
jeopardized our friendship.
182
00:07:15,537 --> 00:07:17,170
Anyway, the scientist there
183
00:07:17,172 --> 00:07:19,473
said he can put me in
anything with a battery.
184
00:07:19,475 --> 00:07:21,174
So he put you in my truck?!
185
00:07:21,176 --> 00:07:24,077
[Car horn honking]
186
00:07:27,416 --> 00:07:30,584
That's how we say "yes"
in truck language.
187
00:07:30,586 --> 00:07:31,685
Look, I'm glad you're okay,
188
00:07:31,687 --> 00:07:33,120
but we're going back to the C.I.A.
189
00:07:33,122 --> 00:07:35,522
to put you in something
that's around me less,
190
00:07:35,524 --> 00:07:37,291
maybe something in the basement.
191
00:07:37,293 --> 00:07:38,502
Personality-wise,
192
00:07:38,502 --> 00:07:40,527
you've always seemed like
a water heater to me.
193
00:07:40,529 --> 00:07:41,795
[Engine sputters]
194
00:07:41,797 --> 00:07:44,932
Oh, yeah, I... ran out of gas.
195
00:07:44,934 --> 00:07:47,434
Damn it, Klaus!
Navi-Joe would never let that happen.
196
00:07:47,436 --> 00:07:50,971
Well, would Navi-Joe
suggest some big band jazz
197
00:07:50,973 --> 00:07:52,372
while we wait for AAA?
198
00:07:52,374 --> 00:07:55,175
He's the one who got
me into big band jazz!
199
00:07:55,177 --> 00:07:56,576
[Jazz music plays]
200
00:07:56,578 --> 00:07:59,513
Ugh, that's hot jazz, not big band!
201
00:08:01,350 --> 00:08:02,816
This is pretty high up.
202
00:08:02,818 --> 00:08:04,851
What if the egg shatters
their windshield?
203
00:08:04,853 --> 00:08:06,353
I thought you might say that.
204
00:08:06,355 --> 00:08:08,655
Pre-cracked shells.
205
00:08:08,657 --> 00:08:10,891
God, you know me.
206
00:08:11,971 --> 00:08:13,927
- All I'm saying...
- Stacey, enough.
207
00:08:13,929 --> 00:08:16,474
[Sighs] We're sticking to the plan.
208
00:08:16,474 --> 00:08:18,565
I'm gonna drop you and
your kids off at the zoo,
209
00:08:18,567 --> 00:08:21,935
then I'm gonna go check out that
belt sander I saw on Craigslist.
210
00:08:21,937 --> 00:08:23,337
And when I pick you up later,
211
00:08:23,339 --> 00:08:25,572
we're gonna got to Mama
Mangia's for dinner.
212
00:08:25,574 --> 00:08:27,307
And we're gonna have a nice night.
213
00:08:27,309 --> 00:08:29,076
It's been a long time, okay?
214
00:08:29,078 --> 00:08:30,344
Okay, Frank.
215
00:08:30,346 --> 00:08:35,082
God, I think the last time
we had a nice night was...
216
00:08:35,084 --> 00:08:36,583
Was when, Stacey?
217
00:08:36,585 --> 00:08:39,586
The night before I flunked
the police academy entrance exam?
218
00:08:39,588 --> 00:08:43,432
I explained to you that test was bull,
all trick questions.
219
00:08:43,432 --> 00:08:44,792
But let's go over the facts.
220
00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:46,226
My name is Frank Trueblue.
221
00:08:46,228 --> 00:08:48,295
I get my hair cut at barber shops.
222
00:08:48,297 --> 00:08:49,863
Look at me, Stacey.
223
00:08:49,865 --> 00:08:53,133
Do I not have all the
signifiers of an off-duty cop?
224
00:08:53,135 --> 00:08:55,602
No one's saying you're not
like a cop, Frank.
225
00:08:55,604 --> 00:08:56,937
Everybody thinks that.
226
00:08:56,939 --> 00:08:59,940
You kids think of me as
essentially a cop, right?
227
00:09:03,612 --> 00:09:05,012
[Sighs]
228
00:09:05,014 --> 00:09:07,280
Okay, I think we can still salvage...
229
00:09:07,282 --> 00:09:08,682
What the hell?!
230
00:09:08,684 --> 00:09:11,151
[Tires screeching]
231
00:09:12,221 --> 00:09:13,553
He stopped.
232
00:09:13,555 --> 00:09:15,422
Don't worry. W-We're safe up here.
233
00:09:15,424 --> 00:09:16,990
[Tires screeching]
234
00:09:19,928 --> 00:09:21,661
Maybe he just wants to talk.
235
00:09:21,663 --> 00:09:24,264
We were just doing a little prank-a-roo.
236
00:09:24,266 --> 00:09:25,499
[Tires screech]
237
00:09:26,368 --> 00:09:27,801
Oh, my God!
238
00:09:27,803 --> 00:09:29,036
I'm okay!
239
00:09:29,038 --> 00:09:31,271
A hawk got me.
240
00:09:31,273 --> 00:09:33,640
To Mount Darkmore!
241
00:09:33,642 --> 00:09:35,909
With the power of the Dunsmere Crystal,
242
00:09:35,911 --> 00:09:39,846
I can finally defeat Lord Azamaar!
243
00:09:39,848 --> 00:09:45,519
[Weakly] Now is your time
to feel fear, Azamaar.
244
00:09:45,521 --> 00:09:47,054
[Tires squeal in distance]
245
00:09:47,056 --> 00:09:49,089
[All screaming]
246
00:09:51,853 --> 00:09:53,820
Maybe the C.I.A.
could put me into, like,
247
00:09:53,822 --> 00:09:55,688
a super-strong cyborg
248
00:09:55,690 --> 00:09:58,324
with both male and female genitalia.
249
00:09:58,326 --> 00:10:00,493
Oh, or that crank flashlight-radio
250
00:10:00,495 --> 00:10:02,370
in the disaster kit
under the garage sink!
251
00:10:02,370 --> 00:10:04,063
You'd go great in that.
252
00:10:04,065 --> 00:10:05,965
[Brakes squeak]
253
00:10:07,102 --> 00:10:08,468
[Swipe!]
254
00:10:08,470 --> 00:10:10,937
That man just stole
that lady's Zagnut Bar!
255
00:10:10,939 --> 00:10:13,172
Is anyone gonna stop him? Anyone?
256
00:10:13,174 --> 00:10:15,275
Sir, you're the only one here.
257
00:10:15,277 --> 00:10:16,476
Uh, you're here, too, ma'am.
258
00:10:16,478 --> 00:10:17,944
I don't see you playing hero.
259
00:10:18,980 --> 00:10:22,015
Klaus, give me back the control.
What are you doing?!
260
00:10:23,818 --> 00:10:25,663
Whoa, nice.
261
00:10:27,522 --> 00:10:31,057
Now that's what I call sweet justice.
262
00:10:31,059 --> 00:10:32,597
Thank you, sir.
263
00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:36,608
That's how you hold on to a candy bar.
264
00:10:37,432 --> 00:10:39,966
Klaus, you were incredible back there!
265
00:10:39,968 --> 00:10:42,368
Navi-Joe was wrong to stop
me from hitting people.
266
00:10:42,370 --> 00:10:43,469
I see that now.
267
00:10:43,471 --> 00:10:46,806
So can I keep being your car?
268
00:10:46,808 --> 00:10:48,608
Only if you're willing to be a vigilante
269
00:10:48,610 --> 00:10:50,220
and fight local crime with me.
270
00:10:50,220 --> 00:10:50,917
I'm in.
271
00:10:50,917 --> 00:10:53,313
Let's keep the streets of Langley safe.
272
00:10:53,315 --> 00:10:55,715
Uh, I think we already
cleaned up this town.
273
00:10:55,717 --> 00:10:57,984
I'm talking about the
wrong side of the tracks.
274
00:10:57,986 --> 00:11:01,554
The embattled,
war-torn streets of East Chimdale.
275
00:11:01,556 --> 00:11:03,923
Whoa, take it easy.
I was talking about Lanceton.
276
00:11:03,925 --> 00:11:06,626
I'll got to East Chimdale
when I want a bunch of rats
277
00:11:06,628 --> 00:11:10,039
to chew my dick off in an
abandoned baseball card store.
278
00:11:11,166 --> 00:11:13,066
We're here, Stan.
279
00:11:13,068 --> 00:11:16,502
Wow, this place looks rough.
280
00:11:16,504 --> 00:11:18,871
Stan? Are you asleep?
281
00:11:21,576 --> 00:11:23,842
Stay alert, Klaus. We're here.
282
00:11:24,713 --> 00:11:25,845
Stop that thief!
283
00:11:25,847 --> 00:11:28,348
Looks like it's "go" time.
284
00:11:30,819 --> 00:11:33,119
Stan, take the wheel so
I can bash him repeatedly
285
00:11:33,121 --> 00:11:34,020
with my tailgate!
286
00:11:34,022 --> 00:11:35,288
Cool, but just be careful.
287
00:11:35,290 --> 00:11:37,023
I got a bunch of loose
golf balls back there,
288
00:11:37,025 --> 00:11:38,558
and I don't want to lose them.
289
00:11:41,096 --> 00:11:42,228
Damn it, Klaus!
290
00:11:42,230 --> 00:11:43,596
At least close the door
291
00:11:43,598 --> 00:11:45,331
before I lose my loose coat hangers.
292
00:11:45,333 --> 00:11:47,033
I know how many are back there.
293
00:11:47,035 --> 00:11:48,768
[Horn honks in distance]
294
00:11:51,606 --> 00:11:53,806
Hey, you got to pay for those!
295
00:11:53,808 --> 00:11:55,441
We got this, Manny.
296
00:11:55,443 --> 00:11:57,577
Aah!
297
00:11:59,114 --> 00:12:01,514
It was just a little prank!
298
00:12:03,852 --> 00:12:05,184
Who the hell was that?!
299
00:12:05,186 --> 00:12:06,419
How should I know?
300
00:12:06,421 --> 00:12:07,653
You think I know everyone in town?
301
00:12:07,655 --> 00:12:09,288
Hey, do you know Mark from Germany?
302
00:12:09,290 --> 00:12:10,661
Just drive.
303
00:12:11,493 --> 00:12:14,761
Stan, you ever wonder why
everyone's stealing Zagnuts?
304
00:12:14,763 --> 00:12:18,131
What I've been wondering is
when did you get so cool?
305
00:12:18,133 --> 00:12:19,832
I'm having a hell of a time with you!
306
00:12:19,834 --> 00:12:22,101
I feel the same way, Stan.
307
00:12:22,103 --> 00:12:23,513
Oh, we're here.
308
00:12:26,107 --> 00:12:27,507
I think we killed this guy.
309
00:12:27,509 --> 00:12:29,342
[Weakly] I'm still alive.
310
00:12:29,344 --> 00:12:30,810
Should we finish him off?
311
00:12:30,812 --> 00:12:34,113
Now, now, Klaus,
it's not our place to play God.
312
00:12:39,888 --> 00:12:42,789
I think... I-I-I think we lost him.
313
00:12:42,791 --> 00:12:45,058
[Engine revs]
314
00:12:45,060 --> 00:12:46,025
Just do it!
315
00:12:46,027 --> 00:12:47,093
[Screaming]
316
00:12:47,095 --> 00:12:48,828
Just finish us.
317
00:12:48,830 --> 00:12:50,229
Aaah!
318
00:12:50,231 --> 00:12:53,132
I mean, there was a time
when a man could take out
319
00:12:53,134 --> 00:12:56,002
his lady and her kids and
simply have a nice night.
320
00:12:56,004 --> 00:12:58,004
Has the whole world gone crazy?!
321
00:12:58,006 --> 00:12:59,605
They're children, Frank!
322
00:12:59,607 --> 00:13:02,809
And do you know what children
turn into, Stacey?
323
00:13:02,811 --> 00:13:04,043
Adults.
324
00:13:04,045 --> 00:13:05,411
Well, not this time!
325
00:13:05,413 --> 00:13:06,679
Frank, look at me.
326
00:13:06,681 --> 00:13:08,081
Please, Frank.
327
00:13:08,083 --> 00:13:10,683
Do you remember Montauk?
Do you remember the ferry?!
328
00:13:10,685 --> 00:13:12,852
It looked full and we
didn't think we could fit,
329
00:13:12,854 --> 00:13:14,087
but then what happened?
330
00:13:14,089 --> 00:13:15,388
Look at me, Frank!
331
00:13:16,424 --> 00:13:19,225
All those people moved their
cars up just a few inches,
332
00:13:19,227 --> 00:13:21,861
just a few inches to let us on.
333
00:13:21,863 --> 00:13:23,863
They helped us.
334
00:13:23,865 --> 00:13:26,933
Yes. Adults helped us.
335
00:13:26,935 --> 00:13:28,898
Do you remember that, Frank?
336
00:13:29,871 --> 00:13:31,971
Those were good adults.
337
00:13:31,973 --> 00:13:33,239
[Voice breaking] Stacey.
338
00:13:33,241 --> 00:13:34,474
[Voice breaking] Yes, Frank?
339
00:13:34,476 --> 00:13:37,243
Do you think there's any chance for us
340
00:13:37,245 --> 00:13:40,012
to still have a nice night?
341
00:13:40,014 --> 00:13:42,315
[Both sobbing]
342
00:13:49,057 --> 00:13:50,656
[Sighs]
343
00:13:50,658 --> 00:13:52,592
Who was that?!
344
00:13:52,594 --> 00:13:54,393
[Insects chirping]
345
00:13:54,395 --> 00:13:57,530
You're right, Klaus. They are dazzling.
346
00:13:57,532 --> 00:14:00,333
Yeah, when I saw
these stars a while ago,
347
00:14:00,335 --> 00:14:03,769
I was like,
"Stan will go nuts for these."
348
00:14:03,771 --> 00:14:05,338
You know, before today,
349
00:14:05,340 --> 00:14:08,608
I only had like one
Zagnut my entire life.
350
00:14:08,610 --> 00:14:09,609
Maybe none.
351
00:14:09,611 --> 00:14:11,878
Really? You never told me that.
352
00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:13,346
I've never told anybody that.
353
00:14:13,348 --> 00:14:16,415
Now you know more about me
than anyone in the world.
354
00:14:16,417 --> 00:14:20,019
[Gasps] Would you say that
you trust me completely?
355
00:14:20,021 --> 00:14:22,922
That I have your heart in my hands?
356
00:14:22,924 --> 00:14:25,424
That's exactly what I'd say, amigo.
357
00:14:25,426 --> 00:14:27,727
Then I will take your heart
358
00:14:27,729 --> 00:14:30,496
and bash it with my tailgate!
359
00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:33,499
Klaus, what the hell?!
360
00:14:33,501 --> 00:14:36,035
You were going to let me die, Stan!
361
00:14:36,037 --> 00:14:38,137
You can't leave me out here
in the middle of nowhere.
362
00:14:38,139 --> 00:14:39,605
This is cougar country!
363
00:14:39,607 --> 00:14:42,275
Don't worry,
there's a 1% chance you survive.
364
00:14:42,277 --> 00:14:47,046
And those are great odds
for a Powerball man!
365
00:14:47,693 --> 00:14:50,783
Have you been writing
down everything I say?!
366
00:14:51,526 --> 00:14:53,768
Celebrate your revenge, Klaus.
367
00:14:54,028 --> 00:14:57,162
Celebrate with every
ounce of your being!
368
00:14:57,164 --> 00:14:59,798
[Howling]
369
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:01,667
[Laughs]
370
00:15:01,669 --> 00:15:05,771
Ooh, look who heard my wolf howl.
371
00:15:05,773 --> 00:15:09,208
Hey, baby, today's your lucky...
372
00:15:09,210 --> 00:15:11,510
Aw, man, hidden dudes?
373
00:15:11,512 --> 00:15:13,879
At least tell me you're all
going to the same place.
374
00:15:13,881 --> 00:15:17,015
Yeah. We're all going to the same place.
375
00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:17,950
[Gun cocks]
376
00:15:17,952 --> 00:15:18,884
[Gasps]
377
00:15:18,886 --> 00:15:20,819
We're bringing in the truck.
378
00:15:20,821 --> 00:15:23,288
Take us to Zagnut Gulch.
379
00:15:24,325 --> 00:15:27,526
Looks like Klaus is
headed to Zagnut Gulch.
380
00:15:30,667 --> 00:15:32,491
_
381
00:15:33,968 --> 00:15:36,635
[Breathes deeply]
382
00:15:36,637 --> 00:15:39,104
Hey, gang, got a question for you.
383
00:15:39,106 --> 00:15:42,641
Isn't this nice?
What a nice night we're having.
384
00:15:52,253 --> 00:15:53,960
It's okay, champ.
385
00:15:57,725 --> 00:16:00,058
Sorry, could I bother you
for another fork?
386
00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:03,128
We... we got a little case
of the butterfingers here.
387
00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:04,263
It's not a big deal.
388
00:16:04,265 --> 00:16:06,231
Of course not, why would it be?
389
00:16:06,233 --> 00:16:07,900
Get the fork.
390
00:16:12,273 --> 00:16:15,148
[Sighs] Okay, let's dig in!
391
00:16:17,178 --> 00:16:18,377
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
392
00:16:18,379 --> 00:16:20,373
I thought we were back on track.
What's the problem?
393
00:16:20,373 --> 00:16:22,814
- It's nothing. It's just...
- Just what?
394
00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:25,484
I asked for red sauce,
and they gave me white sauce.
395
00:16:25,486 --> 00:16:26,585
I got this.
396
00:16:26,587 --> 00:16:28,754
It's fine. I'll just eat it.
397
00:16:28,756 --> 00:16:32,491
I can do this. Montauk.
398
00:16:35,062 --> 00:16:36,528
Hey, really quick, guys...
399
00:16:36,530 --> 00:16:39,298
My lady ordered red sauce,
and you gave her white sauce.
400
00:16:39,300 --> 00:16:41,166
Sorry, buddy, we're out of red sauce.
401
00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:42,034
Check again.
402
00:16:42,036 --> 00:16:42,901
[Gun cocks]
403
00:16:42,903 --> 00:16:43,569
No, no, no!
404
00:16:43,571 --> 00:16:45,304
[Gunshot, people gasp]
405
00:16:45,306 --> 00:16:49,508
[Dramatic music plays]
406
00:16:54,181 --> 00:16:57,249
What doesn't kill you
makes you stronger
407
00:16:57,251 --> 00:16:59,351
Stand a little taller
408
00:16:59,353 --> 00:17:02,654
Doesn't mean I'm
lonely when I'm alone
409
00:17:02,656 --> 00:17:05,023
What doesn't kill
you makes a fighter
410
00:17:07,428 --> 00:17:10,429
[Laughter]
411
00:17:10,431 --> 00:17:12,364
Name's Enoch. I'm the leader
412
00:17:12,366 --> 00:17:15,133
of the Appalachian Trail
Chop Shop Candy Gang
413
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:18,770
A.K.A., The Zagnut Boys.
414
00:17:18,772 --> 00:17:21,406
Hey, Knock, I'm Klaus. I'm a car.
415
00:17:21,408 --> 00:17:23,609
You're a problem is what you are...
A big one.
416
00:17:23,611 --> 00:17:26,411
'Cause we steal cars and Zagnut bars.
417
00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:29,348
And you been shutting
down half our operation!
418
00:17:29,350 --> 00:17:30,505
Got his LoJack.
419
00:17:30,505 --> 00:17:31,984
Great job, Cindy.
420
00:17:31,986 --> 00:17:33,919
You just earned yourself a Zagnut bar.
421
00:17:33,921 --> 00:17:35,821
Thanks, but I'm not really in the mood.
422
00:17:35,823 --> 00:17:37,589
I've already had like two today.
423
00:17:37,591 --> 00:17:39,458
Oh, oh, no problem.
424
00:17:39,460 --> 00:17:40,659
You're just out of the gang.
425
00:17:40,661 --> 00:17:42,060
Oh, come on, Knock...
426
00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:43,395
[Bleep] you, Cindy.
427
00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:49,101
Dear God, they're stripping the car!
428
00:17:49,103 --> 00:17:51,637
Ooh, that's nice.
429
00:17:51,639 --> 00:17:53,538
But am I young and cool enough
430
00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:56,254
or old and uncool enough
to wear a leather jacket?
431
00:17:56,254 --> 00:17:58,544
No, no, no, no! Please!
432
00:17:58,545 --> 00:18:00,245
Ow! That's my seat!
433
00:18:00,247 --> 00:18:03,515
No, not the doors!
I beg you, stop!
434
00:18:03,517 --> 00:18:06,652
How about letting one of the boys
from the front office do some chopping?
435
00:18:07,588 --> 00:18:10,122
Excuse me. Pardon me.
436
00:18:10,124 --> 00:18:11,356
Sick boots.
437
00:18:11,358 --> 00:18:12,624
What do you got there, the gas cap?
438
00:18:12,626 --> 00:18:13,992
Cool score, dude.
439
00:18:13,994 --> 00:18:15,927
Hope you bad boys left
me the steering wheel.
440
00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:17,396
I'm looking forward to chopping that.
441
00:18:17,398 --> 00:18:18,363
[Jack hisses]
442
00:18:18,365 --> 00:18:19,531
Chop, chop, chop.
443
00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:21,333
[Tires screech]
444
00:18:21,335 --> 00:18:23,769
Klaus, you dumb ass!
445
00:18:23,771 --> 00:18:26,171
Klaus?
446
00:18:26,173 --> 00:18:28,440
Goddamn it, fish!
447
00:18:30,611 --> 00:18:32,444
You've been a great car.
448
00:18:32,446 --> 00:18:34,446
Navi-Joe loved you.
449
00:18:34,448 --> 00:18:37,582
And I guess, in a way, so did I.
450
00:18:37,584 --> 00:18:39,985
But now I've got to save my friend.
451
00:18:52,466 --> 00:18:54,933
[Gunshots]
452
00:18:54,935 --> 00:18:56,368
Klaus!
453
00:18:56,370 --> 00:18:57,636
Hope you're still in there, buddy.
454
00:18:57,638 --> 00:19:00,072
[Gunfire]
455
00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:05,711
Style points.
456
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:07,446
My friend's in here.
457
00:19:07,538 --> 00:19:09,138
I need you to get it working again.
458
00:19:09,140 --> 00:19:10,539
I don't care what experimental,
459
00:19:10,541 --> 00:19:12,975
morally questionable technology
you use, just do it.
460
00:19:12,977 --> 00:19:14,309
I could try a car battery.
461
00:19:14,311 --> 00:19:16,178
Don't talk to me about your dark arts!
462
00:19:16,180 --> 00:19:17,669
Just bring him back!
463
00:19:18,716 --> 00:19:21,624
[Device beeps, warbling] Klaus?
464
00:19:21,939 --> 00:19:22,951
Announcer #1: Traffic on the fives.
465
00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:26,889
MAN:
El perro,
el perro es mi corazon, el...
466
00:19:26,891 --> 00:19:29,691
Announcer #2: Here's the pitch.
Low and inside.
467
00:19:29,693 --> 00:19:33,162
Cher:
Do you believe
in life after love?
468
00:19:33,164 --> 00:19:35,264
He's gone.
469
00:19:35,266 --> 00:19:39,468
Cher and Klaus:
I can feel
something inside me say
470
00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:41,703
Klaus, I... I thought I lost you.
471
00:19:41,705 --> 00:19:44,873
Klaus: Stan? Why are you in heaven
with me and Cher?
472
00:19:44,875 --> 00:19:46,442
Wait, this isn't...
473
00:19:46,444 --> 00:19:49,244
Where are we? Where's your car?
474
00:19:49,246 --> 00:19:50,712
I crashed it into the cave.
475
00:19:50,714 --> 00:19:53,048
- Why?
- To save you, Klaus!
476
00:19:53,050 --> 00:19:56,752
I knew that, Stan.
I just wanted to hear you say it.
477
00:19:56,754 --> 00:19:58,520
Now can you get me out of this thing?
478
00:19:58,522 --> 00:20:01,090
I think I've learned
everything I can as a car.
479
00:20:01,092 --> 00:20:04,226
Well, I did just get a new
shipment of lab animals in.
480
00:20:04,228 --> 00:20:05,494
Take your pick.
481
00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:07,096
They're arranged from left to right,
482
00:20:07,098 --> 00:20:09,798
from fastest to fiercest.
483
00:20:10,583 --> 00:20:12,097
How about the fish over there?
484
00:20:12,717 --> 00:20:14,103
That's my fish.
485
00:20:14,105 --> 00:20:16,371
No, that's my friend.
486
00:20:16,373 --> 00:20:20,075
You know, the snake looks like
he could be a cool customer.
487
00:20:20,077 --> 00:20:21,443
You're going in the fish.
488
00:20:21,445 --> 00:20:24,012
Steve, wake up.
489
00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:25,414
Aaaaaaah!
490
00:20:25,416 --> 00:20:27,516
Oh, settle down. I just shot a skull cap
491
00:20:27,518 --> 00:20:29,451
full of hamburger meat and calamari.
492
00:20:29,453 --> 00:20:31,253
The important thing is Frank's dead
493
00:20:31,255 --> 00:20:34,756
and Stacey and the kids are
starting a brand-new chapter.
494
00:20:34,758 --> 00:20:36,125
Who's Frank?
495
00:20:36,127 --> 00:20:38,059
He was essentially a cop.
496
00:20:38,094 --> 00:20:39,862
I'm sorry, I don't know
what you're talking about.
497
00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:41,763
God. You know, I put a lot of effort
498
00:20:41,765 --> 00:20:44,466
into showing you what a real
prank looks like, Steve.
499
00:20:44,468 --> 00:20:47,136
Wait, w-w-w-was that you
trying to kill us?!
500
00:20:47,138 --> 00:20:48,604
Yeah, it was funny!
501
00:20:48,606 --> 00:20:51,206
Hey, if you're going to the
hospital to visit Barry,
502
00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:53,776
tell him I said, "Gotcha."
503
00:20:53,826 --> 00:20:58,376
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