Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,111 --> 00:00:02,311
_
2
00:00:02,312 --> 00:00:05,049
(inhales deeply) Ah, the lunchroom...
3
00:00:05,081 --> 00:00:08,251
where the natural order of
a school is put on display.
4
00:00:08,285 --> 00:00:11,220
For it is here that
everything has its place.
5
00:00:11,253 --> 00:00:13,823
At the head table are the
kings of the lunchroom...
6
00:00:13,856 --> 00:00:15,625
the football players.
7
00:00:15,658 --> 00:00:19,429
They've already gotten more
blowjobs than we'll ever get.
8
00:00:20,036 --> 00:00:21,899
_
9
00:00:21,931 --> 00:00:23,499
The cheerleaders are next.
10
00:00:23,533 --> 00:00:26,437
Upon graduation,
they will shed their pom-poms
11
00:00:26,469 --> 00:00:28,672
and emerge as dental hygienists.
12
00:00:28,705 --> 00:00:30,607
Next, it's the drama kids.
13
00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:33,811
SNOT: Ugh, so gross that they're
always touching each other.
14
00:00:33,843 --> 00:00:36,980
Then the Goth kids,
guys with no personality
15
00:00:37,013 --> 00:00:38,815
who always wear basketball shorts,
16
00:00:38,849 --> 00:00:40,650
the robots pretending to be kids.
17
00:00:40,684 --> 00:00:44,153
Then it's the dweebs,
the nerds, the dorks,
18
00:00:44,187 --> 00:00:47,424
Bolivian kids, and, finally,
we arrive at our table.
19
00:00:47,456 --> 00:00:49,692
- (gasps)
- Hey, that's not us!
20
00:00:49,726 --> 00:00:52,162
Excuse me, gentlemen, this is our table.
21
00:00:52,194 --> 00:00:55,131
Oh, really? And what group are you guys?
22
00:00:55,165 --> 00:00:57,101
We are...
23
00:00:57,133 --> 00:00:59,602
uh... uh...
24
00:00:59,635 --> 00:01:01,705
That's what I thought. From now on,
25
00:01:01,738 --> 00:01:05,542
this table belongs to
the left-handed kids.
26
00:01:05,575 --> 00:01:06,844
We don't have a thing.
27
00:01:06,876 --> 00:01:08,156
We don't have a table!
28
00:01:08,156 --> 00:01:09,846
- We...
- (tray clatters)
29
00:01:09,879 --> 00:01:12,649
No-o-o-o-o-o!
30
00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:15,243
Hey, man. Would you like to join us
31
00:01:15,278 --> 00:01:17,775
over at the table for kids
who overreact to things?
32
00:01:17,810 --> 00:01:19,155
- Really?
- Psych!
33
00:01:19,188 --> 00:01:23,026
We're the little stinker table,
and you've just been goofed!
34
00:01:23,060 --> 00:01:25,729
(laughter)
35
00:01:25,762 --> 00:01:28,465
36
00:01:28,737 --> 00:01:31,140
Good morning, U.S.A.
37
00:01:31,174 --> 00:01:34,978
I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day
38
00:01:35,011 --> 00:01:38,115
The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face
39
00:01:38,148 --> 00:01:42,485
And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race
40
00:01:44,353 --> 00:01:47,790
Oh, boy, it's swell to say
41
00:01:47,824 --> 00:01:50,294
-
Good...
-
Good morning, U.S.A.
42
00:01:50,327 --> 00:01:51,328
Aah!
43
00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:55,999
Good morning, U.S.A.
44
00:01:56,032 --> 00:01:58,802
Come on, Steve.
There's got to be a place we can eat.
45
00:01:58,835 --> 00:02:01,137
Oh, how about where the kid
who died had his locker?
46
00:02:01,171 --> 00:02:02,806
That hallway's haunted.
47
00:02:02,838 --> 00:02:05,275
The kids who do those
ghost-hunters YouTubes
48
00:02:05,308 --> 00:02:08,145
are devoting an entire webisode to it.
49
00:02:08,177 --> 00:02:11,113
I think I heard something.
Do you feel a presence?
50
00:02:11,147 --> 00:02:13,150
Yes, it was definitely a ghost.
51
00:02:13,182 --> 00:02:15,618
He peed all over my pants.
52
00:02:15,652 --> 00:02:17,321
This isn't just about where we eat,
53
00:02:17,354 --> 00:02:19,356
it's about what holds us together.
54
00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:20,657
What's our brand?
55
00:02:20,689 --> 00:02:22,925
Snot, you're poor.
56
00:02:22,958 --> 00:02:24,194
None of us are poor.
57
00:02:24,226 --> 00:02:25,861
Toshi's Japanese.
58
00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:27,196
None of us are even Asian.
59
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:28,432
A-And, Barry...
60
00:02:28,464 --> 00:02:30,033
(munching)
61
00:02:30,065 --> 00:02:32,201
Barry has a true warmth of heart
62
00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:34,022
that none of us can come close to.
63
00:02:34,022 --> 00:02:36,440
Thanks for not saying "fat."
64
00:02:36,473 --> 00:02:38,508
Watch where you're going, loser.
65
00:02:38,540 --> 00:02:41,811
Hey, that could be our thing...
we're all losers!
66
00:02:41,844 --> 00:02:45,047
No way! He's a loser, you're a dumb-ass,
67
00:02:45,081 --> 00:02:47,718
he's a bum,
and he's from somewhere else.
68
00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:49,452
The only thing you guys have in common
69
00:02:49,486 --> 00:02:51,955
is that you're asses
are about to be grasses.
70
00:02:51,987 --> 00:02:53,223
(screams)
71
00:02:53,255 --> 00:02:55,157
Get those unrelated kids!
72
00:02:55,190 --> 00:02:57,760
73
00:02:59,978 --> 00:03:02,369
_
74
00:03:03,332 --> 00:03:05,401
(exhales deeply)
75
00:03:05,434 --> 00:03:08,938
(eerie music box music plays)
76
00:03:11,574 --> 00:03:13,543
MAN: Go away! We're closed!
77
00:03:13,575 --> 00:03:15,038
I-I'm sorry. I-I just need...
78
00:03:15,038 --> 00:03:16,679
Didn't you hear me?! Oh, hey, Steve.
79
00:03:16,712 --> 00:03:17,619
Roger?
80
00:03:17,619 --> 00:03:20,249
The name's Twanderlust Lumpkin.
81
00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:22,987
And this is my house of curiosities.
82
00:03:23,030 --> 00:03:26,265
Why did you open this weird shop
full of stuff no one would ever want?
83
00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:27,701
Hey, you're the one who came in here.
84
00:03:27,993 --> 00:03:29,629
I was running from bullies.
85
00:03:29,663 --> 00:03:31,364
W-What's that smell?
86
00:03:31,397 --> 00:03:32,932
Mold!
87
00:03:32,965 --> 00:03:34,568
So, bullies, huh?
88
00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:36,302
Maybe you could use
something from my shop.
89
00:03:36,336 --> 00:03:37,904
Let's see.
90
00:03:37,937 --> 00:03:39,973
This thing looks like a
big shield or something.
91
00:03:40,005 --> 00:03:43,142
Maybe that would help to,
like, block stuff.
92
00:03:43,176 --> 00:03:46,747
Um, and this is some sort
of pewter dragon statue.
93
00:03:46,779 --> 00:03:49,449
You could... throw it at 'em?
94
00:03:49,481 --> 00:03:50,916
What is this stuff?
95
00:03:51,817 --> 00:03:52,952
What's this book?
96
00:03:52,986 --> 00:03:54,788
- (eerie music plays)
- No!
97
00:03:54,820 --> 00:03:56,556
- (music stops)
- This book is not for you!
98
00:03:56,588 --> 00:03:59,792
In it are contained all the
solutions to your problems.
99
00:03:59,826 --> 00:04:03,063
With it, every fear you've
ever had would melt away.
100
00:04:03,095 --> 00:04:06,099
Hopes would be fulfilled.
Dreams would become reality.
101
00:04:06,131 --> 00:04:08,334
Growers will become showers.
102
00:04:08,368 --> 00:04:11,071
You do not want this book.
103
00:04:11,104 --> 00:04:12,339
(cellphone chimes)
104
00:04:12,372 --> 00:04:14,574
Oh, my meatball hoagie's
ready next door.
105
00:04:14,606 --> 00:04:16,075
The sandwiches are meh,
106
00:04:16,108 --> 00:04:18,205
but the cutest guy named
Prescott makes them.
107
00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:19,656
I'm totally crushing on him.
108
00:04:19,656 --> 00:04:22,682
Right now, I'm playing it cool,
just making little jokes like,
109
00:04:22,716 --> 00:04:25,185
"The clam chowder looks
like a bowl of sperms."
110
00:04:25,217 --> 00:04:28,821
Do you think I'm being too coy,
or should I turn up the heat?
111
00:04:28,854 --> 00:04:30,356
- (door opens)
- While I'm gone,
112
00:04:30,390 --> 00:04:32,159
don't think about that book, Steve.
113
00:04:32,192 --> 00:04:35,762
Don't... think... about...
114
00:04:35,794 --> 00:04:38,965
that... byook.
115
00:04:41,633 --> 00:04:44,895
(music resumes)
116
00:04:44,895 --> 00:04:46,907
The Art of Witchcraft.
117
00:04:51,044 --> 00:04:52,712
These pages are blank.
118
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,711
_
119
00:04:56,082 --> 00:04:57,784
(gasps)
120
00:04:57,817 --> 00:04:59,353
(music stops)
121
00:05:00,266 --> 00:05:01,188
Well, I'm back,
122
00:05:01,221 --> 00:05:02,954
and it could not have gone better.
123
00:05:02,954 --> 00:05:05,224
Prescott and I had full and complete sex
124
00:05:05,257 --> 00:05:06,693
beneath the meat slicer.
125
00:05:06,726 --> 00:05:07,827
Steve?
126
00:05:07,861 --> 00:05:09,229
Steve?!
127
00:05:09,262 --> 00:05:10,330
Huh.
128
00:05:10,363 --> 00:05:12,433
Nobody's here to hear my lie.
129
00:05:15,593 --> 00:05:18,897
Mmm. Mom, this is the best
funnel cake I've ever had.
130
00:05:18,969 --> 00:05:20,805
You should sell funnel cakes.
131
00:05:20,839 --> 00:05:22,240
I don't know.
132
00:05:22,274 --> 00:05:23,742
You gots the goods, Ma.
133
00:05:23,774 --> 00:05:24,810
You're right!
134
00:05:24,842 --> 00:05:26,311
I'm gonna do it!
135
00:05:26,344 --> 00:05:29,911
I'm gonna take these funnel cakes
and make something of myself!
136
00:05:29,911 --> 00:05:31,241
Don't tell me what you're talking about,
137
00:05:31,241 --> 00:05:32,596
because I'm going to the hardware store,
138
00:05:32,596 --> 00:05:34,192
and I want no distractions.
139
00:05:34,192 --> 00:05:35,988
Oh, Stan, I'd love to go with you,
140
00:05:36,021 --> 00:05:37,589
but I'm pretty hard
at work on something.
141
00:05:37,622 --> 00:05:38,924
Not interested, Klaus.
142
00:05:38,957 --> 00:05:41,659
Yeah, WXIU's '90s Fest is coming up,
143
00:05:41,692 --> 00:05:43,695
and I'm making a list
of all the '90s bands
144
00:05:43,728 --> 00:05:45,163
I hope might be there.
145
00:05:45,197 --> 00:05:46,999
All the bands from the '90s sucked.
146
00:05:47,031 --> 00:05:48,599
What about Marcy Playground?
147
00:05:48,632 --> 00:05:50,202
Holy crap!
148
00:05:50,235 --> 00:05:52,437
I straight-up forgot
about Marcy Playground!
149
00:05:52,471 --> 00:05:54,106
They sang "Sex and Candy."
150
00:05:54,803 --> 00:05:55,874
Who else is on there?
151
00:05:55,906 --> 00:05:57,942
Offspring, Candlebox!
152
00:05:57,976 --> 00:06:00,846
Oh, man! So many memories.
153
00:06:00,878 --> 00:06:02,347
Two memories.
154
00:06:02,380 --> 00:06:04,816
(insects chirping)
155
00:06:04,849 --> 00:06:07,118
Gentlemen,
our days of being pushed around
156
00:06:07,151 --> 00:06:08,519
have come to an end.
157
00:06:08,553 --> 00:06:10,723
This is a book of magic spells.
158
00:06:10,755 --> 00:06:13,058
I stole it from a weird curio shop.
159
00:06:13,091 --> 00:06:15,060
Steve, magic's not real.
160
00:06:15,092 --> 00:06:17,028
If it was, the Orlando Magic
161
00:06:17,062 --> 00:06:19,064
would have won a championship by now.
162
00:06:19,096 --> 00:06:20,565
Snot, you follow basketball?
163
00:06:20,599 --> 00:06:22,067
I watch the finals.
164
00:06:22,099 --> 00:06:24,469
Listen, all I know is
when I opened the book,
165
00:06:24,502 --> 00:06:26,738
it wrote words in front of my eyes.
166
00:06:26,772 --> 00:06:27,740
Look.
167
00:06:27,772 --> 00:06:30,541
-
- _
168
00:06:30,575 --> 00:06:32,745
- Ooh!
- Whoa!
169
00:06:33,195 --> 00:06:34,821
_
170
00:06:34,856 --> 00:06:37,149
That's right, Tosh!
We've found our brand!
171
00:06:37,182 --> 00:06:38,717
We're gonna be witches!
172
00:06:38,750 --> 00:06:41,252
And I've already picked
out our first spell.
173
00:06:42,421 --> 00:06:45,257
"To return that which has been lost."
174
00:06:45,289 --> 00:06:48,493
The respect people used
to have for air travel!
175
00:06:48,526 --> 00:06:51,262
We used to wear suits, God damn it!
176
00:06:51,296 --> 00:06:52,663
No.
177
00:06:52,697 --> 00:06:55,167
We're gonna get our lunch table back!
178
00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:56,868
I guess it's worth a shot.
179
00:06:59,937 --> 00:07:02,940
Okay, the... the book
doesn't say to hold hands.
180
00:07:02,974 --> 00:07:05,043
But it doesn't say not to.
181
00:07:05,461 --> 00:07:07,945
Goddess of Witches, hear our plea.
182
00:07:07,978 --> 00:07:10,382
We're just four boys in a tree.
183
00:07:10,414 --> 00:07:13,385
Please, Mistress Magic, if you're able,
184
00:07:13,418 --> 00:07:16,855
return to us our luncheon table!
185
00:07:16,887 --> 00:07:18,356
Okay, that's that.
186
00:07:18,389 --> 00:07:20,425
I-I guess we find out
tomorrow if it worked.
187
00:07:20,914 --> 00:07:23,896
BARRY: Oh, no! Our magic didn't work!
188
00:07:23,928 --> 00:07:25,731
It's okay, Steve.
189
00:07:25,764 --> 00:07:28,400
It was a stupid idea anyway.
190
00:07:28,753 --> 00:07:29,874
_
191
00:07:31,969 --> 00:07:34,972
I appreciate you trying to
cast another spell, Tosh,
192
00:07:35,005 --> 00:07:36,741
but it's useless.
193
00:07:38,159 --> 00:07:38,743
_
194
00:07:40,445 --> 00:07:41,613
Hey!
195
00:07:41,646 --> 00:07:43,816
He caught that with his right hand.
196
00:07:43,849 --> 00:07:45,750
What the...
197
00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:51,989
What's happening to me?!
198
00:07:52,022 --> 00:07:54,459
I believe you're sitting at our table.
199
00:07:54,493 --> 00:07:55,827
Who...
200
00:07:55,861 --> 00:07:57,329
Who are you?
201
00:07:57,361 --> 00:07:59,297
We're witches.
202
00:07:59,330 --> 00:08:01,833
(screaming)
203
00:08:02,438 --> 00:08:03,307
_
204
00:08:04,435 --> 00:08:05,803
(sniffs)
205
00:08:05,837 --> 00:08:07,339
Witchcraft.
206
00:08:07,372 --> 00:08:09,875
The dread hour is upon us.
207
00:08:13,822 --> 00:08:15,848
Time to hunt.
208
00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:18,183
Is that a half-eaten
roll of raw cookie dough?
209
00:08:18,486 --> 00:08:19,785
What was going on with me
210
00:08:19,817 --> 00:08:22,620
last time I was on this
witch-hunter's cabinet?
211
00:08:25,358 --> 00:08:27,861
I got to admit, Steve,
I didn't think becoming
212
00:08:27,894 --> 00:08:30,496
a boy witch would be so
immediately rewarding.
213
00:08:30,529 --> 00:08:32,131
Now that we know it works,
214
00:08:32,164 --> 00:08:35,202
the only question is,
what spell do we cast next?
215
00:08:36,502 --> 00:08:38,805
Here's a spell to give someone warts.
216
00:08:38,838 --> 00:08:41,174
Here's a spell that cures all cancer.
217
00:08:41,207 --> 00:08:43,010
Hmm. The boys at Big Pharma
218
00:08:43,043 --> 00:08:46,080
would not be happy if this
little secret got out.
219
00:08:46,112 --> 00:08:48,881
Whoa. Check out the back section...
220
00:08:48,914 --> 00:08:50,183
Blood Magic!
221
00:08:50,217 --> 00:08:51,919
These spells are really dark.
222
00:08:51,952 --> 00:08:54,654
This one just says "Pure Evil."
223
00:08:54,688 --> 00:08:57,356
"Annal nathrak uthvas"...
224
00:08:57,390 --> 00:08:58,859
(wind howls)
225
00:08:58,891 --> 00:09:02,161
(screaming)
226
00:09:02,194 --> 00:09:04,330
I don't like Blood Magic!
227
00:09:04,364 --> 00:09:07,234
Yeah, Steve. Maybe we shouldn't
mess with any of this.
228
00:09:07,266 --> 00:09:10,036
What if we agree to take
Blood Magic off the table
229
00:09:10,069 --> 00:09:12,705
and only use our powers to help people?
230
00:09:12,739 --> 00:09:14,541
We'll be good boy witches.
231
00:09:14,573 --> 00:09:17,712
(Steve Miller Band's
"Abracadabra" plays)
232
00:09:22,915 --> 00:09:24,250
I heat up
233
00:09:24,284 --> 00:09:26,720
I can't cool down
234
00:09:26,752 --> 00:09:28,354
Got me spinning
235
00:09:28,388 --> 00:09:30,524
-
Around and round
- So cool. So confident.
236
00:09:30,557 --> 00:09:33,038
Why can't you be confident like that?!
237
00:09:33,038 --> 00:09:35,057
That's what I want for you!
238
00:09:35,057 --> 00:09:37,548
You have so much...
239
00:09:37,548 --> 00:09:39,519
potential!
240
00:09:39,519 --> 00:09:41,901
You call my name
241
00:09:41,934 --> 00:09:45,606
I heat up like a burning flame
242
00:09:45,639 --> 00:09:47,207
Burning flame
243
00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:49,143
Full of desire
244
00:09:49,175 --> 00:09:50,643
Kiss me, baby
245
00:09:50,677 --> 00:09:52,223
Let the fire get higher
246
00:09:52,223 --> 00:09:56,949
Abra, abracadabra
247
00:09:56,982 --> 00:09:59,752
I wanna reach out and grab ya
248
00:09:59,785 --> 00:10:05,125
Abra, abracadabra
249
00:10:05,158 --> 00:10:08,162
Abracadabra
250
00:10:08,194 --> 00:10:09,762
You make me hot
251
00:10:09,795 --> 00:10:12,131
You make me sigh
252
00:10:12,164 --> 00:10:13,599
-
You make me laugh
- _
253
00:10:13,632 --> 00:10:15,968
You make me cry
254
00:10:16,001 --> 00:10:19,806
Keep me burning for your love
255
00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:22,776
-
With the touch of a velvet glove
- _
256
00:10:22,808 --> 00:10:27,014
Abra, abracadabra
257
00:10:27,047 --> 00:10:30,250
I wanna reach out and grab ya
258
00:10:30,283 --> 00:10:32,419
Abra, abracadabra
259
00:10:32,452 --> 00:10:34,822
(urinating)
260
00:10:35,434 --> 00:10:37,157
_
261
00:10:37,189 --> 00:10:39,525
It sure has, Toshi, my friend.
262
00:10:39,558 --> 00:10:42,129
Hey! I understand Tosh!
263
00:10:43,025 --> 00:10:47,688
_
264
00:10:48,088 --> 00:10:51,516
_
265
00:10:52,005 --> 00:10:53,207
Oh.
266
00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:55,543
Cool.
267
00:10:57,910 --> 00:11:02,115
Boys, I think it's time to upgrade
our position in the lunchroom.
268
00:11:02,148 --> 00:11:03,817
But we just got our table back.
269
00:11:03,850 --> 00:11:05,853
Yeah, but we're witches now.
270
00:11:05,885 --> 00:11:08,222
We shouldn't be sitting at the
worst table in the cafet...
271
00:11:08,255 --> 00:11:09,689
Worst table?!
272
00:11:09,722 --> 00:11:12,525
It's right by the garbage
and the bathrooms!
273
00:11:12,558 --> 00:11:15,127
What is wrong with you?
274
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:15,896
(laughter)
275
00:11:15,896 --> 00:11:18,731
Marshall, my good man.
How's your day going?
276
00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:20,634
Can I hook you guys up
with some butterflies?
277
00:11:20,667 --> 00:11:23,637
Dude, you have 10 seconds to get
the heck away from this table.
278
00:11:23,669 --> 00:11:26,707
Marsh, it's good. We're witches now.
279
00:11:26,740 --> 00:11:28,207
You know the old saying...
280
00:11:28,241 --> 00:11:31,077
quarterbacks, witches,
the rest be bitches.
281
00:11:31,111 --> 00:11:32,940
(chuckles) All right, squeeze it in.
282
00:11:32,940 --> 00:11:34,533
Nothing wrong with a
little thigh to thigh.
283
00:11:34,533 --> 00:11:36,529
There aren't enough
butterflies in the world
284
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,385
to make you cool enough to sit with us.
285
00:11:38,418 --> 00:11:42,656
In fact, there's fewer and fewer
butterflies every year, nerd!
286
00:11:42,688 --> 00:11:44,857
(laughter)
287
00:11:44,890 --> 00:11:47,159
Embarrass me in front of everyone.
288
00:11:47,193 --> 00:11:50,029
He'll pay for this. Stupid Marshall.
289
00:11:50,063 --> 00:11:52,832
He's not stupid, Steve.
290
00:11:52,866 --> 00:11:54,835
He's the Federation
of Christian Athletes'
291
00:11:54,867 --> 00:11:57,103
Scholar Baller of the Month.
292
00:11:57,136 --> 00:11:59,705
Don't you listen to the announcements?
293
00:11:59,739 --> 00:12:03,243
Hello, pod listeners.
This is our brand-new podcast
294
00:12:03,275 --> 00:12:05,444
where we remember bands from the '90s.
295
00:12:05,477 --> 00:12:07,347
That's right...
Billy C. was in the White House,
296
00:12:07,380 --> 00:12:10,449
Frasier packed up his stuff
and moved from Beantown to Seattle,
297
00:12:10,482 --> 00:12:13,219
and no one could escape
the sounds of bands like...
298
00:12:13,252 --> 00:12:15,254
- Better Than Ezra.
- Cowboy Junkies.
299
00:12:15,288 --> 00:12:17,356
- Spin Doctors.
- Toad the Wet Sprocket.
300
00:12:17,390 --> 00:12:18,617
- Hey, Stan?
- Yeah, Klaus?
301
00:12:18,617 --> 00:12:20,928
Who would you say is
your favorite '90s band
302
00:12:20,961 --> 00:12:23,764
to remember with the word
"soul" in their name?
303
00:12:23,797 --> 00:12:26,266
Asylum, Coughing, or Collective?
304
00:12:26,299 --> 00:12:28,702
Easy, Collective. Collective Soul.
305
00:12:28,735 --> 00:12:32,239
I love remembering Collective Soul.
306
00:12:34,441 --> 00:12:36,576
(twinkles)
307
00:12:36,608 --> 00:12:38,210
What's up, my witches?
308
00:12:38,244 --> 00:12:39,646
What happened to your hair?
309
00:12:39,678 --> 00:12:42,082
- And why are you with him?
- Oh, Marshall?
310
00:12:42,115 --> 00:12:44,217
He decided to quit football
and become a boy witch.
311
00:12:44,250 --> 00:12:47,453
I realized I wanted to be a cool witch,
312
00:12:47,486 --> 00:12:49,121
like Steve, my master.
313
00:12:49,154 --> 00:12:50,624
See? Nothing weird.
314
00:12:50,656 --> 00:12:53,793
When did Marshall's eyes
get milky, like a blind guy?
315
00:12:53,827 --> 00:12:56,296
You used Blood Magic on him!
316
00:12:56,328 --> 00:12:58,332
You broke our hold-hand promise!
317
00:12:58,365 --> 00:12:59,306
What's wrong with you?!
318
00:12:59,306 --> 00:13:02,836
Marshall disrespected us,
and I taught him some respect.
319
00:13:02,869 --> 00:13:04,303
We should be running this school.
320
00:13:04,337 --> 00:13:06,065
We should be running this whole town.
321
00:13:06,065 --> 00:13:07,940
You're out of control, Steve.
322
00:13:07,973 --> 00:13:11,110
We only got into this so
we'd have a place to eat.
323
00:13:11,144 --> 00:13:12,479
Place to eat?!
324
00:13:12,511 --> 00:13:14,080
We should be able to
eat wherever we want
325
00:13:14,114 --> 00:13:15,682
and however we want.
326
00:13:15,715 --> 00:13:17,284
Marshall, churro!
327
00:13:17,317 --> 00:13:20,587
(munching)
328
00:13:20,620 --> 00:13:22,022
Ahh.
329
00:13:22,054 --> 00:13:24,156
We could have the whole
town chewing our food.
330
00:13:24,189 --> 00:13:26,826
Steve, if you don't stop this right now,
331
00:13:26,860 --> 00:13:29,763
we will force you to stop.
332
00:13:29,795 --> 00:13:33,467
You can stop me,
but you got to stop Marshall first.
333
00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:35,137
Bye-bye, boys.
334
00:13:37,303 --> 00:13:39,039
(growls)
335
00:13:39,072 --> 00:13:41,942
(breathing heavily)
336
00:13:41,975 --> 00:13:43,877
(gasps)
337
00:13:43,909 --> 00:13:45,011
(body thuds)
338
00:13:45,044 --> 00:13:47,447
Pretty cool, huh?
339
00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:49,549
On one hand, thank you.
340
00:13:49,582 --> 00:13:52,552
On the other,
you just murdered a student!
341
00:13:52,584 --> 00:13:53,953
That wasn't a student.
342
00:13:53,986 --> 00:13:56,722
That was a zombie
created by Blood Magic!
343
00:13:56,755 --> 00:13:59,892
I know, for I am
of a line of witch hunters
344
00:13:59,925 --> 00:14:01,994
entrusted to protect this school.
345
00:14:02,028 --> 00:14:04,331
I'll find whoever made this demon.
346
00:14:04,364 --> 00:14:07,701
And when I do,
I'm gonna crossbow his ass.
347
00:14:07,733 --> 00:14:09,902
If you want to keep
your asses uncrossbowed,
348
00:14:09,935 --> 00:14:15,408
you stay away from Blood Magic,
'cause Blood Magic is dud magic.
349
00:14:15,442 --> 00:14:17,878
- (poignant music plays)
- _
350
00:14:21,548 --> 00:14:22,436
Oh, my God!
351
00:14:22,436 --> 00:14:25,852
We got to find Steve before Lewis does.
352
00:14:28,986 --> 00:14:31,424
Alert the Federation
of Christian Athletes.
353
00:14:31,457 --> 00:14:35,761
Their Scholar Baller is dead.
354
00:14:35,794 --> 00:14:38,731
- (thunder crashes)
- LORD DARKMORE: Marshall is no more.
355
00:14:38,765 --> 00:14:41,234
We must find a successor.
356
00:14:41,266 --> 00:14:45,404
And, guys, please be open
to defensive players.
357
00:14:45,438 --> 00:14:48,574
They don't all have to be quarterbacks.
358
00:14:49,393 --> 00:14:52,898
359
00:14:52,931 --> 00:14:55,567
Hey, no kids! Go away! Read the sign!
360
00:14:55,761 --> 00:14:57,068
_
361
00:14:57,201 --> 00:15:00,505
Actually, we have a friend
that came in here recently.
362
00:15:00,538 --> 00:15:02,473
His name is Steve Smith.
363
00:15:02,871 --> 00:15:04,309
_
364
00:15:04,341 --> 00:15:06,978
Impossible! If that book
were missing, I'd know.
365
00:15:07,012 --> 00:15:09,148
It's the shop's most priceless item.
366
00:15:09,181 --> 00:15:10,883
That's why I keep it
in the most visible...
367
00:15:10,916 --> 00:15:12,251
(gasps)
368
00:15:12,283 --> 00:15:14,085
Wha... how?! It's gone!
369
00:15:14,119 --> 00:15:17,056
Oh, no! Now I have nothing
to put on this podium!
370
00:15:17,089 --> 00:15:19,425
Wait. The pewter dragon!
371
00:15:19,457 --> 00:15:21,225
Perfect. Problem solved.
372
00:15:21,258 --> 00:15:22,661
(clangs)
373
00:15:22,694 --> 00:15:24,563
(sighs) That was the dragon, wasn't it?
374
00:15:24,595 --> 00:15:26,999
We used the book, and it worked.
375
00:15:27,032 --> 00:15:30,035
But then all the power went
straight to Steve's head.
376
00:15:30,067 --> 00:15:31,769
When you're older, I'll show you where
377
00:15:31,802 --> 00:15:33,838
all the power goes straight to on me.
378
00:15:33,872 --> 00:15:36,442
Sorry, I-I interrupted you.
Please continue.
379
00:15:36,475 --> 00:15:38,844
Anyway, simple magic wasn't enough,
380
00:15:38,877 --> 00:15:41,547
and Steve turned to using Blood Magic.
381
00:15:41,580 --> 00:15:44,917
Aw, crap! The guy
I franchised this place from
382
00:15:44,950 --> 00:15:47,853
said he's yank my franchise
if I ever let anyone use
383
00:15:47,885 --> 00:15:49,887
Blood Magic in this franchise.
384
00:15:49,921 --> 00:15:51,590
We got to save my franchise!
385
00:15:51,623 --> 00:15:54,693
He said he was gonna use it
to enslave the whole town!
386
00:15:54,725 --> 00:15:56,928
And we don't even know where he is.
387
00:15:56,961 --> 00:15:58,297
Okay, let's think.
388
00:15:58,330 --> 00:16:01,867
If I were a whole town,
where would I be?
389
00:16:01,899 --> 00:16:03,468
To '90s Fest!
390
00:16:03,502 --> 00:16:06,638
(intense classical music plays)
391
00:16:06,671 --> 00:16:08,907
Who is pumped for '90s Fest?!
392
00:16:08,940 --> 00:16:11,143
- (cheers and applause)
- We're Stan and Klaus.
393
00:16:11,176 --> 00:16:13,744
You know that from our podcast!
394
00:16:13,777 --> 00:16:15,647
(cheers and applause)
395
00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:18,550
The '90s were great!
They had bands like...
396
00:16:18,582 --> 00:16:19,984
Luscious Jackson.
397
00:16:20,018 --> 00:16:21,152
Blind Melon.
398
00:16:21,186 --> 00:16:22,387
Alice in Chains.
399
00:16:22,420 --> 00:16:24,623
Veruca Salt.
400
00:16:24,656 --> 00:16:26,558
None of those bands will be here today.
401
00:16:26,590 --> 00:16:29,393
So let's say the name
of a band that is here!
402
00:16:29,426 --> 00:16:31,729
Semisonic!
403
00:16:31,763 --> 00:16:34,166
(cheers and applause)
404
00:16:34,199 --> 00:16:36,355
- ("Closing Time" begins)
- Okay, you guys go right and look for Steve.
405
00:16:36,355 --> 00:16:38,836
I'll take the left.
Don't dally. We must act fast.
406
00:16:38,869 --> 00:16:40,371
- Right.
- You got it!
407
00:16:42,773 --> 00:16:44,676
Oh, my God.
408
00:16:44,709 --> 00:16:45,978
She did it.
409
00:16:46,010 --> 00:16:47,612
- She said she was gonna do it,
- _
410
00:16:47,646 --> 00:16:50,049
and she went out and did it...
like a boss!
411
00:16:51,850 --> 00:16:55,186
Shit, I got to support.
412
00:16:55,220 --> 00:16:57,622
Closing time
413
00:16:57,656 --> 00:16:59,258
I don't see him!
414
00:16:59,291 --> 00:17:02,594
Old lady of witchcraft,
put air in my scrote
415
00:17:02,627 --> 00:17:08,100
and allow this humble witch
to float, float, float!
416
00:17:08,132 --> 00:17:12,603
Turn all of the lights on
over every boy and every girl
417
00:17:12,637 --> 00:17:13,871
There he is!
418
00:17:13,905 --> 00:17:15,840
It doesn't even look like him!
419
00:17:15,873 --> 00:17:18,176
Blood Magic has taken over!
420
00:17:18,209 --> 00:17:20,811
One last call for alcohol
421
00:17:20,844 --> 00:17:23,581
Hey, man, w-we're trying
to play "Closing Time."
422
00:17:25,417 --> 00:17:26,618
(screaming)
423
00:17:26,650 --> 00:17:28,653
People of Langley,
424
00:17:28,686 --> 00:17:31,790
your lives as you know
them are now over!
425
00:17:31,822 --> 00:17:33,225
Boo!
426
00:17:33,257 --> 00:17:35,793
Put back on whoever sings
"Closing Time"!
427
00:17:35,827 --> 00:17:37,163
(croaks)
428
00:17:38,830 --> 00:17:42,201
It is now closing time on your freedom.
429
00:17:42,234 --> 00:17:44,403
You will all be my slaves.
430
00:17:44,436 --> 00:17:47,371
We have to stop him from casting spells!
431
00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:49,440
_
432
00:17:50,274 --> 00:17:52,043
(magic whooshes)
433
00:17:52,077 --> 00:17:54,380
434
00:17:57,014 --> 00:17:58,984
Who challenges me?!
435
00:17:59,016 --> 00:18:01,052
Don't do this, Steve!
436
00:18:01,086 --> 00:18:03,722
We're good boy witches, remember?
437
00:18:03,754 --> 00:18:05,991
I remember you laughed at me
438
00:18:06,023 --> 00:18:08,659
when I ate churro out of
a quarterback's mouth.
439
00:18:08,693 --> 00:18:09,695
We didn't laugh.
440
00:18:09,727 --> 00:18:11,696
Die!
441
00:18:11,730 --> 00:18:13,532
(snarls)
442
00:18:13,564 --> 00:18:15,566
You may have Blood Magic,
443
00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:19,304
but I'll take our friendship
over that any day.
444
00:18:29,446 --> 00:18:31,483
Die, witches!
445
00:18:33,788 --> 00:18:34,619
I did it.
446
00:18:34,653 --> 00:18:38,090
I killed the guy who cut in front of me
in the funnel cake line.
447
00:18:38,122 --> 00:18:39,924
Oh, and there's Steve.
448
00:18:43,794 --> 00:18:45,196
(grunts)
449
00:18:45,230 --> 00:18:47,967
Check, please.
450
00:18:59,977 --> 00:19:01,712
(soft music plays)
451
00:19:01,745 --> 00:19:03,114
Oh, no. Barry!
452
00:19:04,748 --> 00:19:06,083
What have I done?!
453
00:19:06,117 --> 00:19:07,819
I'm so sorry.
454
00:19:07,851 --> 00:19:10,288
(sobs)
455
00:19:10,321 --> 00:19:12,456
ROGER: There is one way.
456
00:19:12,490 --> 00:19:14,126
- What?
- Oh, I'm... I'm sorry.
457
00:19:14,158 --> 00:19:15,761
I thought you said you
wish there was a way
458
00:19:15,793 --> 00:19:17,228
you could undo this.
459
00:19:17,262 --> 00:19:20,799
Well, I-I didn't say that,
but, yeah, I do.
460
00:19:20,831 --> 00:19:23,301
There is one way.
461
00:19:23,334 --> 00:19:25,436
There's an undo spell in the book.
462
00:19:25,469 --> 00:19:27,238
Anything caused by your magic
463
00:19:27,272 --> 00:19:29,840
will be restored to its pre-magic state.
464
00:19:29,873 --> 00:19:32,009
But there's just one catch.
465
00:19:32,042 --> 00:19:32,982
Anything!
466
00:19:32,982 --> 00:19:35,946
You have to promise to buy
that pewter dragon off me.
467
00:19:35,980 --> 00:19:39,851
Fine! Just give it to me!
468
00:19:39,884 --> 00:19:42,120
Not the dragon, the book.
469
00:19:42,153 --> 00:19:44,223
Please!
470
00:19:45,523 --> 00:19:47,259
(whooshes)
471
00:19:47,292 --> 00:19:50,294
TOGETHER: Goddess of Magic,
you gave us powers.
472
00:19:50,328 --> 00:19:52,030
They went to our head.
473
00:19:52,062 --> 00:19:57,268
We inconvenienced a lot of people,
and Barry's now dead.
474
00:19:57,301 --> 00:19:59,870
Bring our magic powers to an end
475
00:19:59,904 --> 00:20:03,809
so we can go back to being friends.
476
00:20:03,841 --> 00:20:06,978
(epic music plays)
477
00:20:09,013 --> 00:20:11,116
What was your favorite
part about being a witch?
478
00:20:11,148 --> 00:20:12,684
Got to be honest, Steve,
479
00:20:12,716 --> 00:20:15,486
it's still pretty hard to
get those deaths off my mind.
480
00:20:16,167 --> 00:20:17,723
I did like floating.
481
00:20:17,755 --> 00:20:21,359
My favorite part was having
a place to eat lunch!
482
00:20:22,033 --> 00:20:23,361
Don't worry. We'll get a table.
483
00:20:23,893 --> 00:20:25,597
Follow my lead.
484
00:20:27,353 --> 00:20:28,166
Ah.
485
00:20:28,571 --> 00:20:30,034
Marsh, buddy.
486
00:20:30,068 --> 00:20:31,636
How's that throwing arm?
487
00:20:31,668 --> 00:20:33,504
Are you freaking kidding me?!
488
00:20:35,106 --> 00:20:37,542
- (Semisonic's "Closing Time" plays)
- As the sun sets on another day,
489
00:20:37,574 --> 00:20:40,010
the kids who get beat up
by the football players
490
00:20:40,043 --> 00:20:42,380
find a place to call their own.
491
00:20:42,414 --> 00:20:46,417
Guys, I forgot to tell you,
when you die, nothing happens.
492
00:20:46,451 --> 00:20:50,355
It's just a permanent
cessation of consciousness.
493
00:20:50,388 --> 00:20:55,260
I know who I want
to take me home
494
00:20:55,292 --> 00:20:57,262
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
495
00:20:57,312 --> 00:21:01,862
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
34773
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
