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1
00:00:02,693 --> 00:00:04,926
Ah, Saturday afternoon TV,
2
00:00:04,928 --> 00:00:07,863
where the sneaky networks
hide all the good shows --
3
00:00:07,865 --> 00:00:09,965
A guy with question marks on his suit
4
00:00:09,967 --> 00:00:11,500
yelling tax secrets at me,
5
00:00:13,270 --> 00:00:15,570
and of course,
the secret final episode
6
00:00:15,572 --> 00:00:17,005
of "Caroline in the City."
7
00:00:18,642 --> 00:00:21,443
Now the city is mine!
8
00:00:21,445 --> 00:00:23,245
[ Laughs ]
9
00:00:27,684 --> 00:00:29,684
I'll be ready
10
00:00:29,686 --> 00:00:31,086
I'll be ready
11
00:00:31,088 --> 00:00:33,488
Never you fear
12
00:00:33,490 --> 00:00:35,924
No, don't you fear
Well, suck me off through a hole
13
00:00:35,926 --> 00:00:37,325
and call me Rick Steves,
14
00:00:37,327 --> 00:00:38,293
what is this?!
15
00:00:38,295 --> 00:00:39,261
It's "Baywatch."
16
00:00:39,263 --> 00:00:40,795
You've never seen "Baywatch"?
17
00:00:40,797 --> 00:00:42,197
Do you like this, Roger?
18
00:00:42,199 --> 00:00:44,733
Franny, I like the smell of gasoline.
19
00:00:44,735 --> 00:00:46,801
I like to play with Stan's dingaling
20
00:00:46,803 --> 00:00:47,836
while he sleeps.
21
00:00:47,838 --> 00:00:49,971
This. This, I love!
22
00:00:49,973 --> 00:00:51,473
Wait, wha--
what was that second thing?
23
00:00:51,475 --> 00:00:52,774
Why were you keeping
24
00:00:52,776 --> 00:00:55,243
the exciting world of lifeguards
from me?!
25
00:00:55,245 --> 00:00:57,012
I'm watching upstairs!
26
00:01:01,718 --> 00:01:03,552
Guys, we have huge news!
27
00:01:03,554 --> 00:01:04,786
[ Inhales ]
28
00:01:04,788 --> 00:01:06,421
We're going to start
trying for a baby!
29
00:01:06,423 --> 00:01:08,657
[ Squeals, laughs ]
30
00:01:10,527 --> 00:01:12,694
[ Squeals, laughs ]
31
00:01:12,696 --> 00:01:13,962
And what will I be?
32
00:01:13,964 --> 00:01:18,266
Oh, Klaus,
you'll be...nearby.
33
00:01:18,268 --> 00:01:21,670
And, Dad, you're gonna be a grandpa!
34
00:01:22,673 --> 00:01:23,705
Dad?
35
00:01:23,707 --> 00:01:25,240
Dad, where are you going?
36
00:01:25,242 --> 00:01:26,641
[ Door closes ]
37
00:01:26,643 --> 00:01:28,109
[ Tires screech ]
38
00:01:30,247 --> 00:01:32,547
I got it at Off Screen Motors.
39
00:01:32,549 --> 00:01:34,549
Hey! No cameras!
40
00:01:34,551 --> 00:01:36,051
We're never on camera!
41
00:01:36,053 --> 00:01:38,620
Honey, why are you upset?
42
00:01:38,622 --> 00:01:40,922
I'm excited about
being a grandmother!
43
00:01:40,924 --> 00:01:42,057
Of course you are.
44
00:01:42,059 --> 00:01:44,526
Society celebrates women as they age.
45
00:01:44,528 --> 00:01:45,860
It's different for men.
46
00:01:45,862 --> 00:01:48,196
Aging just means
we're closer to death.
47
00:01:48,198 --> 00:01:49,898
And I've got too much to live for.
48
00:01:49,900 --> 00:01:51,232
I own a Corvette!
49
00:01:51,234 --> 00:01:53,535
[ Engine revs, tires squeal ]
Me too!
50
00:01:53,537 --> 00:01:56,738
I just turned the same age
as my dad when he died!
51
00:01:56,740 --> 00:02:00,408
[ Tires squeal ]
52
00:02:00,410 --> 00:02:02,711
Good morning, U.S.A.
53
00:02:02,713 --> 00:02:06,581
I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day
54
00:02:06,583 --> 00:02:09,684
The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face
55
00:02:09,686 --> 00:02:14,389
And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race
56
00:02:16,059 --> 00:02:19,427
Oh, boy, it's swell to say
57
00:02:19,429 --> 00:02:22,197
Good --
Good morning, U.S.A.
58
00:02:22,199 --> 00:02:30,338
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
59
00:02:30,974 --> 00:02:32,140
What's all this?
60
00:02:32,142 --> 00:02:33,875
I felt bad about how I reacted
61
00:02:33,877 --> 00:02:35,510
to your wonderful news yesterday.
62
00:02:35,512 --> 00:02:38,446
So I'm cooking breakfast
for my sweet daughter.
63
00:02:38,448 --> 00:02:39,848
Aww, thanks, Dad.
64
00:02:39,850 --> 00:02:42,851
or should I say...
"Grandpa".
65
00:02:45,155 --> 00:02:46,721
[ Blender whirs ]
Fresh squeezed O.J.?!
66
00:02:46,723 --> 00:02:47,856
Great!
67
00:02:47,858 --> 00:02:49,891
I've never tried it blended!
68
00:02:49,893 --> 00:02:51,292
[ Blender shuts off ]
Enjoy!
69
00:02:53,570 --> 00:02:55,363
You know, Stan,
70
00:02:55,365 --> 00:02:57,132
Tropicana makes an O.J.
pre-mixed with birth control --
71
00:02:57,134 --> 00:02:59,968
Country style, tons of pulp.
72
00:02:59,970 --> 00:03:02,003
Mmm. You gotta drink it
with a fork.
73
00:03:02,005 --> 00:03:03,338
To cover all my bases,
74
00:03:03,340 --> 00:03:06,074
I've got something special
planned for Jeff.
75
00:03:06,076 --> 00:03:08,109
Also,
most flavors of Go-Gurt
76
00:03:08,111 --> 00:03:10,578
can double as a pubic lice shampoo.
77
00:03:10,580 --> 00:03:12,380
[ Engine revs ]
78
00:03:12,382 --> 00:03:14,449
Jeff, I wanted
to take you out to dinner
79
00:03:14,451 --> 00:03:17,152
to celebrate your efforts
to impregnate my daughter.
80
00:03:17,154 --> 00:03:19,421
It's not that much
of an effort, Mr. S.
81
00:03:19,423 --> 00:03:23,258
I just lie on top of her
and flop around like a fish.
82
00:03:23,260 --> 00:03:24,526
Great.
83
00:03:24,528 --> 00:03:25,760
Excellent.
84
00:03:25,762 --> 00:03:27,862
And here we are at the restaurant!
85
00:03:30,634 --> 00:03:32,167
This place looks fancy.
86
00:03:32,169 --> 00:03:33,568
I'm not sure I can afford it.
87
00:03:33,570 --> 00:03:35,336
Well, Jeff, I've never known
you to pay for anything,
88
00:03:35,338 --> 00:03:37,806
but it's interesting
that you still pretend to try.
89
00:03:37,808 --> 00:03:39,207
That's why I bought a wallet.
90
00:03:39,209 --> 00:03:41,843
Well, you bought me the wallet.
91
00:03:41,845 --> 00:03:43,745
You know
what I'm talking about --
92
00:03:43,747 --> 00:03:45,613
the wallet!
Yes, the wallet, Jeff.
93
00:03:45,615 --> 00:03:48,450
The wallet.
So, you know, so I can go like this.
94
00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:51,352
Yes, yes, that's the move, Jeff.
95
00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:55,023
Wonderful.
96
00:04:00,194 --> 00:04:02,361
of your popular trademarked toys?!
97
00:04:02,363 --> 00:04:05,698
Yep, my GI Joels,
my Trans-Changers,
98
00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:09,668
My "My Tiny Baby Horse," Warm Wheels,
99
00:04:09,670 --> 00:04:11,203
Lettuce Field Gang doll,
100
00:04:11,205 --> 00:04:14,140
My Pre-teen
Radiated Judo Bullfrogs,
101
00:04:14,142 --> 00:04:17,176
Giggle-Me-Elmer,
Theo Ruxberg.
102
00:04:17,178 --> 00:04:18,277
Even my Smorfs.
103
00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:20,246
All classics.
104
00:04:20,248 --> 00:04:22,014
So, why are you getting rid of them?
105
00:04:22,016 --> 00:04:23,415
Well, I'm gonna be an uncle.
106
00:04:23,417 --> 00:04:26,152
So it's time to put away
my childish things.
107
00:04:26,154 --> 00:04:30,089
Things such as Leegos,
Malibu Barbara,
108
00:04:30,091 --> 00:04:31,624
Affection Bears.
109
00:04:31,626 --> 00:04:34,193
Plus, of course, there's
the matter of my board games --
110
00:04:34,195 --> 00:04:37,296
Slides and Stepstools, Connect Three,
111
00:04:37,298 --> 00:04:42,234
Starving Starving Rhinos,
Scrapple, Guess Whom,
112
00:04:42,236 --> 00:04:45,704
Front-gammon,
Unincorporated Candy Township.
113
00:04:45,706 --> 00:04:48,707
As you can see, I take
being an uncle very seriously.
114
00:04:48,709 --> 00:04:50,142
I totally get it.
115
00:04:50,144 --> 00:04:53,379
I take my family role
very seriously too.
116
00:04:53,381 --> 00:04:55,314
You know -- being "nearby."
117
00:04:55,316 --> 00:04:57,216
Oh, Klaus.
118
00:04:57,218 --> 00:04:59,285
Were you there when she said that?
119
00:04:59,287 --> 00:05:00,719
Roger:
[ Blows whistle ]
120
00:05:00,721 --> 00:05:03,422
Last warning, guys --
no glass in the swimming area.
121
00:05:03,424 --> 00:05:04,890
Uh, this is my bedroom.
122
00:05:04,892 --> 00:05:08,227
To us lifeguards, the whole
world is a swimming area.
123
00:05:08,229 --> 00:05:10,829
See you nutsacks by the pool later.
124
00:05:12,033 --> 00:05:15,634
Get help...
you nutsacks.
125
00:05:16,871 --> 00:05:20,306
So, pretty sweet they gave us
a private dining room, huh?
126
00:05:20,308 --> 00:05:23,442
But why do you think
the ma?tre d' shaved my junk?
127
00:05:23,444 --> 00:05:25,377
This is an Italian restaurant.
128
00:05:25,379 --> 00:05:27,980
- Oh!
- Hello, Mr. Fischer.
129
00:05:27,982 --> 00:05:30,482
I see you're prepped.
Now, this procedure --
130
00:05:30,484 --> 00:05:32,384
No need to hear the specials,
my good man.
131
00:05:32,386 --> 00:05:33,619
We know what we want.
132
00:05:33,621 --> 00:05:34,887
I think I'll have the spaghetti.
133
00:05:34,889 --> 00:05:36,355
Spaghetti?
134
00:05:36,357 --> 00:05:38,791
Jeff, never order out
what you can make at home.
135
00:05:38,793 --> 00:05:42,127
I mean, okay, the sauce is
sometimes amazing, that's true.
136
00:05:42,129 --> 00:05:44,230
And fresh pasta --
Can't beat that.
137
00:05:44,232 --> 00:05:46,098
You know what?
I talked myself into it.
138
00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:47,533
Make it two spaghettis.
139
00:05:49,070 --> 00:05:51,937
Is this man not aware he's here
for a medical procedure?
140
00:05:51,939 --> 00:05:55,374
Can you tell me a little bit
more about your "colonoscopy"?
141
00:05:55,376 --> 00:05:56,909
Is that spicy?
142
00:05:56,911 --> 00:06:00,946
I'm sorry, but I can't operate
on a man this stupid.
143
00:06:00,948 --> 00:06:03,249
[ "Baywatch" theme plays ]
144
00:06:35,916 --> 00:06:38,017
[ Record scratching ]
Wait! Stop! Stop!
145
00:06:38,019 --> 00:06:40,419
What are you doing?
These are my opening credits.
146
00:06:40,421 --> 00:06:41,687
Oh, sorry.
147
00:06:41,689 --> 00:06:43,689
I was just taking out the garbage.
148
00:06:43,691 --> 00:06:46,592
Did I mess things up?
Franny, be honest.
149
00:06:46,594 --> 00:06:49,762
Do you think I have what it
takes to be a sexy lifeguard?
150
00:06:49,764 --> 00:06:50,663
Roger...
151
00:06:50,665 --> 00:06:53,499
I don't know what's happening.
152
00:06:55,169 --> 00:06:56,268
[ Door closes ]
153
00:06:56,270 --> 00:06:58,470
Rough day at work?
Work?
154
00:06:58,472 --> 00:07:00,172
Oh, yeah.
I should have gone to work.
155
00:07:00,174 --> 00:07:02,841
I'm just so distracted
by this grandfather stuff.
156
00:07:02,843 --> 00:07:06,312
Oh, Stan, I hoped you were
over that silliness.
157
00:07:06,314 --> 00:07:08,614
Well, no matter.
It's out of our hands now.
158
00:07:08,616 --> 00:07:09,982
What are you talking about?
159
00:07:09,984 --> 00:07:12,718
Jeff and Hayley just left
for a romantic vacation
160
00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:14,920
to the Atlantis Resort
in the Bahamas.
161
00:07:14,922 --> 00:07:18,290
Oh, man.
Dudes get it in at Atlantis.
162
00:07:18,292 --> 00:07:19,491
We have to go to the Bahamas.
163
00:07:19,493 --> 00:07:20,959
We do?
Yeah.
164
00:07:20,961 --> 00:07:23,529
We need to be supportive
and help them in any way we can.
165
00:07:23,531 --> 00:07:25,464
If we want to support Hayley in this,
166
00:07:25,466 --> 00:07:27,566
we should take her to the dog track.
167
00:07:27,568 --> 00:07:29,902
That always gets my motor revvin'.
168
00:07:29,904 --> 00:07:34,673
Seein' all those dogs run real fast.
169
00:07:39,977 --> 00:07:41,309
from having a baby
170
00:07:41,311 --> 00:07:43,178
because of my relationship
with my grandparents?
171
00:07:43,180 --> 00:07:44,679
Ridiculous!
172
00:07:44,681 --> 00:07:47,649
They were nice people who grew
older and smaller and weaker
173
00:07:47,651 --> 00:07:49,217
until I found them both dead.
174
00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:51,653
I only asked
if you wanted an ocean view.
175
00:07:51,655 --> 00:07:53,555
And let them fishes
see me while I sleep?
176
00:07:53,557 --> 00:07:56,524
- Uh, no, thank you.
- Where'd you get that doughnut?
177
00:07:56,526 --> 00:07:58,526
I got it on the Welcome Pastry Cart.
178
00:07:58,528 --> 00:07:59,894
Where'd you get that wine?
179
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:01,596
My suitcase.
180
00:08:01,598 --> 00:08:02,697
Whoa.
181
00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:04,666
[ "Baywatch" theme plays ]
182
00:08:19,216 --> 00:08:21,549
[ Music continues ]
183
00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:27,422
Dad?!
184
00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:29,190
D-Dad,
what are you doing here?
185
00:08:29,192 --> 00:08:30,959
You forgot your orange juice.
186
00:08:30,961 --> 00:08:34,162
Ugh. What is
that pink scum on top?
187
00:08:34,164 --> 00:08:37,265
That means this orange juice
is for a girl.
188
00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:39,934
Dad, this was supposed to be
a romantic getaway.
189
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:41,302
I've got my partner...
190
00:08:41,304 --> 00:08:43,938
Men: [ Chanting ] Chug, chug!
Chug, chug!
191
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:46,374
So, where's yours?
He's in the Jacuzzi.
192
00:08:46,376 --> 00:08:49,811
Do you dare me
to put my wiener in the jet?
193
00:08:49,813 --> 00:08:51,279
I do.
194
00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:54,049
[ Children shouting playfully ]
195
00:08:55,585 --> 00:08:57,585
Hey, sluggers!
I'm Mark!
196
00:08:57,587 --> 00:08:59,587
I run the Kidz Klub for the hotel.
197
00:08:59,589 --> 00:09:01,589
You cool dudes should join us.
198
00:09:01,591 --> 00:09:03,992
We're making a hippo boat
out of milk cartons.
199
00:09:03,994 --> 00:09:05,760
Mark, Mark, Mark.
200
00:09:05,762 --> 00:09:08,196
Looks like you got
a great thing going here, Mark.
201
00:09:08,198 --> 00:09:11,032
A week ago, I'd be rooting
around your Kidz Klub
202
00:09:11,034 --> 00:09:12,367
like a pig in shit.
203
00:09:12,369 --> 00:09:14,369
However, I'm about to be an uncle.
204
00:09:14,371 --> 00:09:18,139
So I'm looking for something
a little more mature.
205
00:09:18,141 --> 00:09:20,942
Oh. I see.
206
00:09:20,944 --> 00:09:24,245
Well, if you change your mind,
we'll always be here for you!
207
00:09:24,247 --> 00:09:26,481
Don't bring that desperation
to my boy.
208
00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:28,550
He's about to be an uncle.
209
00:09:28,552 --> 00:09:31,386
You're a freakin' joke, buddy.
210
00:09:31,388 --> 00:09:35,790
Huh!
That's what I thought.
211
00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:39,360
You know, this whole resort
feels like a Kidz Klub to me.
212
00:09:39,362 --> 00:09:41,062
This isn't the real Bahamas.
213
00:09:41,064 --> 00:09:42,297
Yeah, I was feeling that, too,
214
00:09:42,299 --> 00:09:44,766
but you really put a bow on it.
215
00:09:44,768 --> 00:09:47,802
Klaus, if I want to give
worldly uncle advice,
216
00:09:47,804 --> 00:09:49,704
I got to get out in the real world.
217
00:09:49,706 --> 00:09:53,041
Didn't they say it's dangerous
outside of the resort?
218
00:09:53,043 --> 00:09:55,376
Those warnings are for kids, Klaus.
219
00:09:56,079 --> 00:09:58,880
[ Screams ]
220
00:09:58,882 --> 00:10:01,416
221
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:26,474
[ Thud ]
222
00:10:27,244 --> 00:10:29,377
[ Glass squeaking ]
223
00:10:34,784 --> 00:10:35,884
but it has to stop.
224
00:10:35,886 --> 00:10:38,186
Hayley, I didn't want
to have to do this,
225
00:10:38,188 --> 00:10:40,188
but I forbid you from having a baby.
226
00:10:40,190 --> 00:10:41,756
I'm too young to be a grandfather.
227
00:10:41,758 --> 00:10:43,691
Well, don't worry about it.
You're never gonna be one.
228
00:10:43,693 --> 00:10:45,527
Ah, what a relief.
[ Chuckles ]
229
00:10:45,529 --> 00:10:48,029
Hey, what do you say you and me
go pet that manta ray?
230
00:10:48,031 --> 00:10:49,531
Because...
231
00:10:49,533 --> 00:10:53,401
when I have a baby,
you won't be part of its life.
232
00:10:54,971 --> 00:10:58,439
Hey!
No running on the pool deck!
233
00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:00,775
Did I get her?
234
00:11:00,777 --> 00:11:02,544
[ Thud ]
Nope.
235
00:11:04,915 --> 00:11:06,881
[ Sighs ]
236
00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:08,483
Rough one, too?
237
00:11:08,485 --> 00:11:12,153
I'm miserable, even though I've
achieved every actor's dream --
238
00:11:12,155 --> 00:11:15,123
performing in a hotel water show.
239
00:11:15,125 --> 00:11:17,325
It's a show about animal cruelty.
240
00:11:17,327 --> 00:11:20,361
I play the villain,
Animal Strangling Johnson,
241
00:11:20,363 --> 00:11:23,598
while Tyler gets to play
the hero, Ranger Ron.
242
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:24,832
You don't know what it's like
243
00:11:24,834 --> 00:11:28,002
to have 200 people
boo you every night.
244
00:11:28,004 --> 00:11:29,537
The most boos I've ever gotten
245
00:11:29,539 --> 00:11:32,607
was like 60, maybe 70 people.
246
00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:36,010
I would do anything
to get to play Ranger Ron.
247
00:11:36,012 --> 00:11:37,812
Anything.
248
00:11:37,814 --> 00:11:39,180
I get it.
249
00:11:39,182 --> 00:11:42,884
I would do anything to keep
my daughter and son-in-law
250
00:11:42,886 --> 00:11:44,118
from having a baby.
251
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,820
Even murder?
252
00:11:45,822 --> 00:11:47,388
- What?
- Eight Coronas, Jimmy.
253
00:11:47,390 --> 00:11:49,023
Oh, hey, Stan.
254
00:11:49,025 --> 00:11:51,759
Us lifeguards are having a big
bonfire on the beach later.
255
00:11:51,761 --> 00:11:53,995
You should come.
But don't bring that guy.
256
00:11:53,997 --> 00:11:56,898
He strangles animals.
Boo!
257
00:11:56,900 --> 00:12:00,168
Talking to you reminds me
of a fun idea I had once.
258
00:12:00,170 --> 00:12:02,637
Stan: Does it? You're not
having that effect on me.
259
00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:07,242
Now, let's say that you'd like
to kill off your son-in-law.
260
00:12:07,244 --> 00:12:08,843
This isn't the fun idea, then?
261
00:12:08,845 --> 00:12:11,346
But you can't,
because you'd get caught.
262
00:12:11,348 --> 00:12:13,047
But let's say, hypothetically,
263
00:12:13,049 --> 00:12:16,050
two fellas with no connection
at all meet up,
264
00:12:16,052 --> 00:12:17,418
and they swap murders --
265
00:12:17,420 --> 00:12:19,220
hypothetically, of course.
266
00:12:19,222 --> 00:12:20,788
Do you know
what "hypothetically" means?
267
00:12:20,790 --> 00:12:24,058
Let's say...
hypothetically, I do.
268
00:12:24,060 --> 00:12:26,661
We good?
I think so?
269
00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:28,429
But do not kill
my son-in-law.
270
00:12:28,431 --> 00:12:30,098
I can't be any more clear about that.
271
00:12:30,100 --> 00:12:33,334
You got it.
Great.
272
00:12:34,404 --> 00:12:36,137
You know, I was
just thinking about it,
273
00:12:36,139 --> 00:12:37,772
and the fact that you winked at me
274
00:12:37,774 --> 00:12:40,575
makes me think that you might...
275
00:12:42,078 --> 00:12:43,511
And although I'm flattered,
276
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:46,314
and maybe even a little bit curious,
277
00:12:46,316 --> 00:12:48,116
um, I am a happily married man.
278
00:12:48,118 --> 00:12:51,286
And, um, I'm gonna have to say...
279
00:12:51,288 --> 00:12:53,321
no.
280
00:12:55,425 --> 00:12:58,259
Did you say something?
281
00:12:58,261 --> 00:13:00,428
Okay.
282
00:13:00,430 --> 00:13:02,597
[ Birds chirping ]
283
00:13:03,566 --> 00:13:07,535
So, your story
is that you just walked away
284
00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:09,270
from the Atlantis Resort?
285
00:13:09,272 --> 00:13:11,139
Yes, th-- That's right.
286
00:13:11,141 --> 00:13:13,641
Could I get a glass of water?
It's very humid.
287
00:13:13,643 --> 00:13:17,445
You expect me to believe
that you left seven pools,
288
00:13:17,447 --> 00:13:20,948
a casual dining bistro,
and a turquoise shop?
289
00:13:20,950 --> 00:13:23,851
That's everything
a little boy could dream of...
290
00:13:23,853 --> 00:13:27,755
unless that little boy
is a D.E.A junior agent!
291
00:13:27,757 --> 00:13:30,591
What? The D.E.A wouldn't even
have jurisdiction down here.
292
00:13:30,593 --> 00:13:34,395
Mr. D.E.A. quoting
from the D.E.A handbook.
293
00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:36,531
Kill them and feed them to the pigs.
294
00:13:36,533 --> 00:13:38,433
Aah!
Please don't kill me!
295
00:13:38,435 --> 00:13:39,867
I'm gonna be an uncle!
296
00:13:39,869 --> 00:13:43,371
Wait.
You're going to be an uncle?
297
00:13:43,373 --> 00:13:45,239
Why didn't you say so?
298
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:47,308
I am an uncle myself.
299
00:13:47,310 --> 00:13:49,077
I'm gonna be the best uncle ever.
300
00:13:49,079 --> 00:13:50,445
Next to me.
301
00:13:50,447 --> 00:13:53,214
My niece is so cute.
She can't say "mosquito."
302
00:13:53,216 --> 00:13:54,615
She says "momito."
303
00:13:54,617 --> 00:13:57,218
"Uncle Drake, I am covered
in momito bites."
304
00:13:57,220 --> 00:13:59,487
[ Laughs ]
305
00:13:59,489 --> 00:14:02,757
You know, I've been looking
for an uncle type
306
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:05,593
to step up in my organization.
307
00:14:06,863 --> 00:14:08,996
Joining a violent drug gang.
308
00:14:08,998 --> 00:14:10,264
I don't know.
309
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:12,767
Raising a child is expensive.
310
00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:15,269
A rich uncle could really help out.
311
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,872
Listen to your fish.
Hmm.
312
00:14:17,874 --> 00:14:20,441
You're not gonna sell this
to any white people, are you?
313
00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:22,009
Not directly.
314
00:14:22,011 --> 00:14:23,611
I'm in!
315
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:25,880
[ Cellphone buzzes ]
316
00:14:25,882 --> 00:14:29,517
[ Groans ]
Who's texting me this early?
317
00:14:29,519 --> 00:14:31,018
[ Cellphone chiming ]
318
00:14:32,589 --> 00:14:36,190
"Whoa!
How about you just chill?"
319
00:14:36,192 --> 00:14:37,892
Surfer emoji.
320
00:14:37,894 --> 00:14:40,695
Should I put a snowflake on
there to really sell the chill?
321
00:14:40,697 --> 00:14:42,730
_
322
00:14:43,304 --> 00:14:44,481
_
323
00:14:44,601 --> 00:14:47,602
Oh, God.
I got to find Jeff!
324
00:14:47,604 --> 00:14:49,036
[ Door opens ]
325
00:14:49,038 --> 00:14:50,438
Where am I?
326
00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:52,206
A hotel room!
327
00:14:52,208 --> 00:14:55,443
You're getting a lot better
at drinking, Francine.
328
00:14:58,456 --> 00:15:00,156
Jeff's not in his room.
329
00:15:00,158 --> 00:15:02,825
All right, if I'm gonna find
him, I've got to think like him.
330
00:15:02,827 --> 00:15:06,696
Okay, I'm a 20-year-old stoner
trying to bang my daughter.
331
00:15:06,698 --> 00:15:09,465
Where would I go?
332
00:15:09,467 --> 00:15:11,434
Donny! Wait!
333
00:15:12,837 --> 00:15:15,138
Aah! My back!
334
00:15:16,641 --> 00:15:21,077
Oh! Oh!
335
00:15:21,079 --> 00:15:22,311
[ Italian accent ]
My cart!
336
00:15:22,313 --> 00:15:24,580
My grandfather's pastry cart!
337
00:15:24,582 --> 00:15:26,349
[ Italian accent ]
You promised me we would find
338
00:15:26,351 --> 00:15:28,551
a better life here on the island!
339
00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:30,920
[ Sighs ]
I should have married Guiseppe.
340
00:15:30,922 --> 00:15:34,691
Guiseppe!
341
00:15:34,693 --> 00:15:36,859
342
00:15:37,829 --> 00:15:39,429
Now, be careful out there, girls.
343
00:15:39,431 --> 00:15:41,898
I can handle losing
a few grams of product.
344
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:43,966
I don't know what I'd do
if I lost one of you.
345
00:15:43,968 --> 00:15:45,134
- Aww.
- Aww.
346
00:15:45,136 --> 00:15:46,636
Now I'll quit
jibber-jabbering
347
00:15:46,638 --> 00:15:49,972
and let you girls stuff those
coke condoms up your asses.
348
00:15:49,974 --> 00:15:53,609
Great work, Shazmayne.
You too, Sydney.
349
00:15:53,611 --> 00:15:55,812
Mateo, buddy, what's wrong?
350
00:15:55,814 --> 00:15:58,514
Where's that famous Mateo smile?
351
00:15:58,516 --> 00:16:00,917
Mateo's smile hides today.
352
00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:02,585
Well, that's no good.
353
00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:04,987
Want me to buy you
a poster of the planets?
354
00:16:04,989 --> 00:16:06,656
No, Mr. Uncle Steve.
355
00:16:06,658 --> 00:16:08,758
It's just, uh, well,
356
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,094
M-Mr. Klaus --
He's sort of --
357
00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:12,495
Klaus: Sort of what?!
358
00:16:12,497 --> 00:16:15,198
First, I told you
I want to be called Razor.
359
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:17,400
How hard is that to remember?
360
00:16:17,402 --> 00:16:19,635
Maybe you need a little reminder...
361
00:16:19,637 --> 00:16:21,237
every time you dance!
362
00:16:21,239 --> 00:16:22,171
Ha!
363
00:16:22,173 --> 00:16:23,906
Um, Razor.
A word.
364
00:16:23,908 --> 00:16:26,175
You've been acting
a little erratic lately.
365
00:16:26,177 --> 00:16:28,077
I know.
It's terrible.
366
00:16:28,079 --> 00:16:30,079
I think I know what it might be.
367
00:16:30,081 --> 00:16:31,814
[ Inhales deeply ]
368
00:16:31,816 --> 00:16:34,484
Gah. I feel, like,
super-disconnected from the family.
369
00:16:34,486 --> 00:16:37,120
I mean, Hayley said that thing
about me being "nearby,"
370
00:16:37,122 --> 00:16:38,988
and it got me spinning out,
and I feel like -- Hold on.
371
00:16:38,990 --> 00:16:40,389
[ Inhales deeply ]
372
00:16:40,391 --> 00:16:41,991
I feel like I'm trying
to make the gang a new family,
373
00:16:41,993 --> 00:16:43,377
but the "Razor" thing?
374
00:16:43,379 --> 00:16:44,846
mean, it's just -- just not a home run yet.
375
00:16:44,848 --> 00:16:46,981
What?
Ridiculous!
376
00:16:46,983 --> 00:16:48,950
You're "the Razor"!
377
00:16:48,952 --> 00:16:50,852
That means something around here.
378
00:16:50,854 --> 00:16:52,353
Maybe just a little less coke,
379
00:16:52,355 --> 00:16:54,121
a little less
threatening people's toes.
380
00:16:54,123 --> 00:16:56,123
Who says I'm doing too much coke?!
381
00:16:56,125 --> 00:16:59,427
Okay, shoes on, everyone.
Razor's in one of his moods.
382
00:17:02,565 --> 00:17:03,698
[ Groans ]
383
00:17:03,700 --> 00:17:05,032
Here you go,
old-timer.
384
00:17:05,034 --> 00:17:06,534
[ Groans ]
385
00:17:06,536 --> 00:17:09,170
[ Straining ]
Got to find Jeff.
386
00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:12,139
[ Blows whistle ]
Hey!
387
00:17:12,141 --> 00:17:13,608
Where'd you get that popsicle?
388
00:17:13,610 --> 00:17:15,176
Is that a Rocket Pop?
389
00:17:15,178 --> 00:17:17,178
They told me they were out.
390
00:17:18,047 --> 00:17:19,113
[ Blows whistle ]
391
00:17:19,115 --> 00:17:20,648
Damn it, Roger!
My ears!
392
00:17:20,650 --> 00:17:21,916
Bitch got my pop!
393
00:17:21,918 --> 00:17:23,484
Eh?
394
00:17:28,191 --> 00:17:30,925
Give us back our ball!
Eh?
395
00:17:30,927 --> 00:17:32,927
God, I hate old people.
396
00:17:32,929 --> 00:17:34,061
Get him!
397
00:17:34,063 --> 00:17:35,863
Eh?
[ Indistinct shouting ]
398
00:17:35,865 --> 00:17:37,231
No!
399
00:17:38,268 --> 00:17:41,936
[ Dramatic music plays ]
400
00:17:44,340 --> 00:17:47,541
It has come to my attention
401
00:17:47,543 --> 00:17:50,278
that we're light
on product this month.
402
00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:52,313
Someone is ripping me off!
403
00:17:52,315 --> 00:17:53,915
Who do you think it is?
404
00:17:53,917 --> 00:17:55,416
My money's on Mateo.
405
00:17:55,418 --> 00:17:56,484
[ Grunting ]
406
00:17:56,486 --> 00:17:58,019
Just give me the word,
and I'll cut him.
407
00:17:58,021 --> 00:17:59,487
I'll do it in the town square.
408
00:17:59,489 --> 00:18:02,456
That way, everyone knows
who runs this [bleep] island.
409
00:18:02,458 --> 00:18:05,092
Shut up!
I know it was one of you two.
410
00:18:05,094 --> 00:18:08,963
And you're both going to die.
411
00:18:08,965 --> 00:18:13,734
I knew it was a mistake
to mix business and uncles.
412
00:18:15,571 --> 00:18:18,205
I told you we'd always be here
for you, Steve!
413
00:18:18,207 --> 00:18:20,074
Glue guns now, gang!
414
00:18:20,843 --> 00:18:22,176
[ Groaning ]
415
00:18:22,178 --> 00:18:24,512
[ Tinkle! ]
416
00:18:25,515 --> 00:18:27,048
Way to go, P.J.!
417
00:18:27,050 --> 00:18:29,150
We're all helping equally.
418
00:18:29,152 --> 00:18:30,618
Come on, Steve.
419
00:18:33,656 --> 00:18:36,257
I didn't know
Kids Klub was so bad-ass!
420
00:18:36,259 --> 00:18:39,560
You know, I've never lost a kid.
421
00:18:39,562 --> 00:18:41,228
[ Screams ]
422
00:18:41,230 --> 00:18:44,932
Steve:
You're amazing, Mark!
423
00:18:44,934 --> 00:18:47,535
Mmm! Mmmmm!
424
00:18:49,906 --> 00:18:51,439
[ "Baywatch" theme plays ]
425
00:18:57,647 --> 00:18:59,313
[ Music stops ]
426
00:19:04,087 --> 00:19:07,121
[ Vomits, coughs ]
427
00:19:08,825 --> 00:19:09,924
Jeff!
428
00:19:09,926 --> 00:19:12,193
Aah!
429
00:19:12,195 --> 00:19:13,394
Kids, look!
430
00:19:13,396 --> 00:19:15,529
That's Animal Strangling Johnson!
431
00:19:15,531 --> 00:19:16,597
Donny, catch!
432
00:19:17,467 --> 00:19:18,899
[ Indistinct shouting ]
433
00:19:18,901 --> 00:19:20,634
[ Screaming ]
434
00:19:22,238 --> 00:19:23,971
What the hell is going on, Dad?
435
00:19:23,973 --> 00:19:26,474
I'm so sorry for being such an idiot.
436
00:19:26,476 --> 00:19:29,143
I thought I was too young
to be a grandfather.
437
00:19:29,145 --> 00:19:32,546
But now I realize young
is the best time to do it.
438
00:19:32,548 --> 00:19:34,915
If I wait too long
to have grandchildren,
439
00:19:34,917 --> 00:19:36,484
they're gonna drown me in a pool.
440
00:19:36,486 --> 00:19:39,587
Come to think of it, that's
how I killed my grandfather.
441
00:19:39,589 --> 00:19:42,156
I'm a little confused.
What's happening?
442
00:19:42,158 --> 00:19:44,525
What's happening
is that I'm giving you two
443
00:19:44,527 --> 00:19:46,327
my blessing to have children.
444
00:19:46,329 --> 00:19:48,963
Aww.
Thanks, Dad.
445
00:19:49,599 --> 00:19:51,499
[ "Baywatch" theme plays ]
446
00:19:55,038 --> 00:19:56,504
Glad you came around, Stan.
447
00:19:56,506 --> 00:19:58,406
That's gonna be one hell of a baby.
448
00:19:58,408 --> 00:19:59,807
Thanks, Roger.
Yep.
449
00:19:59,809 --> 00:20:01,375
Half human, half alien.
450
00:20:01,377 --> 00:20:04,245
Gonna be one gorgeous splice baby.
451
00:20:04,247 --> 00:20:05,513
What are you talking about?
452
00:20:05,515 --> 00:20:07,515
Oh, yeah.
You don't remember. [ Laughs ]
453
00:20:07,517 --> 00:20:10,918
Isn't it ironic that I forget
that your minds were erased?
454
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:12,153
[ Laughs ]
455
00:20:12,155 --> 00:20:14,555
Anyway, Jeff's brain
is in an alien body.
456
00:20:14,557 --> 00:20:16,123
It was a whole thing in space.
457
00:20:16,125 --> 00:20:18,492
And nobody but me knows.
And now you.
458
00:20:18,494 --> 00:20:21,629
And the guy who's behind us
who won't stop eavesdropping!
459
00:20:21,631 --> 00:20:23,798
We know you're not asleep, buddy.
460
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:26,600
Sorry. I'm just naturally curious.
[ Door opens ]
461
00:20:26,602 --> 00:20:28,569
Wow, Jeff.
That was amazing.
462
00:20:28,571 --> 00:20:31,338
Look, Mr. S.!
I fell in the toilet!
463
00:20:34,310 --> 00:20:35,810
Are you sure about this?
464
00:20:35,812 --> 00:20:38,345
That your daughter's married
to an alien with superpowers?
465
00:20:38,347 --> 00:20:40,815
Yeah, babe.
Superpowers?!
466
00:20:41,288 --> 00:20:45,935
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
467
00:20:46,055 --> 00:20:49,723
That's right, Dadders.
Jeff has superpowers.
468
00:20:49,725 --> 00:20:52,626
Tune in next week
and see if we deal with that.
469
00:20:52,628 --> 00:20:54,791
And maybe Reginald will come back.
470
00:20:54,841 --> 00:20:59,391
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