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00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:07,807
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3
00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:08,535
what is it?
4
00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:12,872
That is partridge stuffed
with wild rice and currants.
5
00:01:12,872 --> 00:01:14,607
Chicken.
6
00:01:14,607 --> 00:01:16,342
It is game!
7
00:01:16,342 --> 00:01:18,511
This is a
beautiful partridge.
8
00:01:18,511 --> 00:01:21,548
It's chicken,
take it away!
9
00:01:21,548 --> 00:01:23,716
(Archie Goodwin)
That afternoon, i had all of Nero Wolfe that i could stand.
10
00:01:23,716 --> 00:01:25,018
I wasn't blaming him.
11
00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:26,753
We were two months into
the great meat shortage.
12
00:01:27,187 --> 00:01:28,488
The boys overseas needed
the rations
13
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:31,091
and there was nothing
left for the loyal home front.
14
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:32,392
But to Nero Wolfe,
15
00:01:32,392 --> 00:01:34,561
a meal without meat
is an insult.
16
00:01:34,561 --> 00:01:36,296
(doorbell rings)
17
00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:39,332
Your name's
Goodwin.
18
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:42,368
Thanks, how much
do i weigh?
19
00:01:42,368 --> 00:01:44,104
My boss wants
to see Wolfe.
20
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:45,839
Your boss
wants to...
21
00:01:49,742 --> 00:01:51,478
uh, just a minute.
22
00:02:02,755 --> 00:02:04,924
What is it,
a mouse?
23
00:02:04,924 --> 00:02:06,659
Uh, no, no, sir,
no, you have a visitor,
24
00:02:07,093 --> 00:02:08,828
and since he's one of our
most famous citizens...
25
00:02:08,828 --> 00:02:10,563
you may have heard
of him, dazy perrit...
26
00:02:10,997 --> 00:02:12,732
latest title: King of
the black market.
27
00:02:12,732 --> 00:02:14,033
Just...
28
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,275
i think he's got a gun.
29
00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:23,576
Then he's
damn silly.
30
00:02:24,010 --> 00:02:27,914
I want to speak
to Wolfe now.
31
00:02:27,914 --> 00:02:29,649
Wolfe wants
no part of it.
32
00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:30,950
Now, i'm not laughing it off.
33
00:02:31,384 --> 00:02:32,252
People who laugh
things off with you
34
00:02:32,685 --> 00:02:33,987
end up at funerals,
playing the lead.
35
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,288
I realize that,
but it's just...
36
00:02:35,288 --> 00:02:36,960
confound it, Archie.
37
00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:38,758
If mr. Perrit
wishes to see me,
38
00:02:38,758 --> 00:02:40,927
invite him in...
and his friend.
39
00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:48,735
Archie, wait
in the kitchen.
40
00:02:50,036 --> 00:02:51,337
Archie?
41
00:02:51,337 --> 00:02:52,639
Yeah, you got
a problem with that?
42
00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:53,940
No, it's a perfectly
fine name.
43
00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:55,241
Now, we normally
park our visitors...
44
00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:57,410
Archie likes
the kitchen.
45
00:02:57,410 --> 00:02:59,579
If he likes the kitchen,
he likes the kitchen.
46
00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:00,880
I don't like it
in here.
47
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,615
Why don't you come out
and sit in my car with me.
48
00:03:02,615 --> 00:03:03,483
We'll talk there.
49
00:03:03,483 --> 00:03:06,519
Well, my good man,
i do like it here.
50
00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:08,254
I rarely leave my home,
51
00:03:08,254 --> 00:03:11,724
and i would be an idiot
to leave this chair,
52
00:03:12,158 --> 00:03:15,195
which was made
specifically to fit me.
53
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:16,930
You might make some
exceptions.
54
00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:19,966
I would be a good
exception to start with.
55
00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:24,304
Well, let us compromise,
mr. Perrit.
56
00:03:24,737 --> 00:03:27,340
Uh, perhaps you
would prefer the, um,
57
00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:28,641
the front room.
58
00:03:28,641 --> 00:03:29,943
The front room?
59
00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:31,678
The front room...
follow me.
60
00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:39,919
Yeah,
this is nice.
61
00:03:39,919 --> 00:03:41,221
Less stuff.
62
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,956
Good.
63
00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:45,992
Before we begin
with your business,
64
00:03:45,992 --> 00:03:47,727
uh...
65
00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:52,932
i'd like to, uh, discuss
a small matter, if i may?
66
00:03:52,932 --> 00:03:57,270
Uh, i understand that you are
an expert in a certain field.
67
00:03:57,270 --> 00:04:00,306
Presumably,
you know how to, uh...
68
00:04:00,306 --> 00:04:04,210
locate certain things
69
00:04:04,512 --> 00:04:06,813
and know how they
may be procured.
70
00:04:12,018 --> 00:04:14,621
I am a respectable
and virtuous citizen,
71
00:04:15,054 --> 00:04:18,958
but like everyone else,
i have my smudges.
72
00:04:18,958 --> 00:04:20,693
What do you want,
a slice of the rackets?
73
00:04:20,693 --> 00:04:23,296
No...
74
00:04:23,296 --> 00:04:25,898
i want a
slice of beef.
75
00:04:25,898 --> 00:04:26,766
Beef?
76
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,369
I want meat to eat.
77
00:04:29,369 --> 00:04:30,236
Meat?
78
00:04:30,670 --> 00:04:33,273
Lamb, pork, veal.
79
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,574
Mr. Wolfe,
i'm not a butcher.
80
00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:36,309
Good quality meat.
81
00:04:36,309 --> 00:04:37,610
Did ya hear what i said?
I'm noher.
82
00:04:38,044 --> 00:04:39,345
I know.
83
00:04:39,345 --> 00:04:42,382
I'm not into beef at all,
but i'll see what i can do.
84
00:04:42,382 --> 00:04:45,852
Ring lincoln:
6-3-2-3-2,
85
00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:47,153
before 10 in
the morning.
86
00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:49,756
Ask for tom
and use my name.
87
00:04:50,189 --> 00:04:51,491
Did you get that,
Archie?
88
00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:52,358
Did you get the number?
89
00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:54,527
Yes, i'll write it
down later.
90
00:04:54,527 --> 00:04:57,130
Thank you, sir,
thank you.
91
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,865
Now, on to your business.
92
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,600
Well, i need help.
93
00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:04,070
The occupational hazards
are relatively high
94
00:05:04,504 --> 00:05:06,239
in the detective business,
95
00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:08,408
and in any activity
connected to you,
96
00:05:08,841 --> 00:05:10,143
they are
substantially higher.
97
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,444
Now, the combination
of the two
98
00:05:11,878 --> 00:05:12,745
would be inadvisable.
99
00:05:13,179 --> 00:05:14,914
I don't often
ask for help.
100
00:05:14,914 --> 00:05:18,384
But when i do, i get
the very best there is.
101
00:05:18,384 --> 00:05:19,686
You're it, mr. Wolfe.
102
00:05:19,686 --> 00:05:22,288
It would be foolish
for you, sir,
103
00:05:22,288 --> 00:05:24,457
to entrust
your secrets to me,
104
00:05:24,457 --> 00:05:26,192
when i cannot properly...
105
00:05:26,192 --> 00:05:29,662
there's 50 "c"s
to start with.
106
00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:32,699
I'm beailed
and i want it to stop.
107
00:05:32,699 --> 00:05:33,566
It's my daughter.
108
00:05:33,566 --> 00:05:35,301
I must ask you
to stop speaking.
109
00:05:35,301 --> 00:05:37,470
Mr. Wolfe, that's one
thing that nobody
110
00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:39,639
in the world
knows except me.
111
00:05:39,639 --> 00:05:40,506
And another thing,
112
00:05:40,940 --> 00:05:41,808
my daughter is not
really my daughter.
113
00:05:41,808 --> 00:05:43,109
Yeah, hold it, hold it.
114
00:05:43,109 --> 00:05:44,410
He just said he didn't want to
hear about any of this stuff,
115
00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:45,712
i don't either, and...
116
00:05:45,712 --> 00:05:47,880
what's wrong with
a plate of spaghetti?
117
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:49,615
Listen, i got
a real daughter.
118
00:05:49,615 --> 00:05:51,351
Born 21 years ago.
119
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:55,254
Now that's two things that
you and your man here know
120
00:05:55,254 --> 00:05:56,989
that nobody else knows.
121
00:05:57,423 --> 00:05:59,592
Now i got a job i
want you to do with her, too.
122
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,062
Ng?
Now i got a job i want you to do with her, too. Goi
123
00:06:03,062 --> 00:06:05,231
i must excuse
myself, mr. Perrit.
124
00:06:05,231 --> 00:06:09,135
I spend the afternoons
upstairs with my plants.
125
00:06:09,135 --> 00:06:10,436
Sit back down!
126
00:06:10,436 --> 00:06:12,960
If you so much as poke
m in the stomach,
127
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:14,340
i will plug you.
128
00:06:14,340 --> 00:06:15,641
You doing
with that thing in your hand?
129
00:06:16,075 --> 00:06:18,244
I realize this is probably
a little corny to you,
130
00:06:18,244 --> 00:06:19,545
now
that any serious t i also k
131
00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:21,714
argument anyone has ever had
with you it has never
132
00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:24,317
been worked out
with any tool but a gun.
133
00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:26,052
The two of you,
you're crazy as bedbugs,
134
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:27,353
you're goin' bananas.
135
00:06:27,787 --> 00:06:29,956
Mr. Perrit, if you insist on
confiding your troubles to me,
136
00:06:29,956 --> 00:06:32,125
i suggest you tell them
to mr. Goodwin,
137
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,293
and i will phone you this
evening, or in the morning.
138
00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:37,330
(Archie)
Wolfe kept dazy on the hook so he could have some meat.
139
00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:39,499
We would have to fix it so
dazy's real daughter
140
00:06:39,499 --> 00:06:40,800
would not be revealed
141
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:43,403
and his fake daughter
would stop the blackmail.
142
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,138
I expected him to pull out
143
00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:47,306
a wallet and start
showing me snapshots.
144
00:06:47,306 --> 00:06:49,909
He didn't, but he fed me
lots of details.
145
00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:52,512
My daughter had her
second birthday, my wife died,
146
00:06:52,512 --> 00:06:55,114
and i pulled three years
in the hoosegow.
147
00:06:55,114 --> 00:06:57,717
When i got out,
i started getting prosperous,
148
00:06:57,717 --> 00:06:58,584
so i went back
149
00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:00,319
and dug her up
in missouri.
150
00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:02,054
Rest of the family
glad to see you?
151
00:07:02,054 --> 00:07:03,356
I didn't ask,
152
00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:05,525
i just told her i was
a friend of her father's
153
00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:07,260
and he wanted me to
take care of her.
154
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:08,995
So she doesn't
know who she is?
155
00:07:08,995 --> 00:07:09,862
No, no, no.
156
00:07:09,862 --> 00:07:12,031
She thinks her father's
a wealthy man
157
00:07:12,031 --> 00:07:13,766
and can't reveal himself.
158
00:07:13,766 --> 00:07:15,067
Sure, sure, like maybe
he's going to be
159
00:07:15,067 --> 00:07:17,236
elected president
or something like that?
160
00:07:17,236 --> 00:07:19,405
Hey, everything
was working out fine.
161
00:07:19,405 --> 00:07:21,574
Y'know, i could see her
every three months,
162
00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:24,177
then she decides
to go to school here
163
00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:25,912
in the city... columbia.
164
00:07:25,912 --> 00:07:28,514
That was great,
until this knucklehead,
165
00:07:28,514 --> 00:07:30,249
thumbs Meeker,
166
00:07:30,249 --> 00:07:31,551
bitched everything up.
167
00:07:31,551 --> 00:07:32,852
Thumbs Meeker got his name
168
00:07:32,852 --> 00:07:34,153
on account of his
favorite method
169
00:07:34,153 --> 00:07:36,756
of getting information
from reluctant people.
170
00:07:36,756 --> 00:07:38,925
He had his hands in
whatever dazy perrit didn't:
171
00:07:38,925 --> 00:07:40,660
So, between the two of them,
172
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:41,961
they pretty much
ran new york.
173
00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:43,262
I just stopped
by to say,
174
00:07:43,262 --> 00:07:44,564
if your daughter ever
needs a little favor,
175
00:07:44,564 --> 00:07:45,865
all you gotta do is ask.
176
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:47,166
Daughter?
177
00:07:47,166 --> 00:07:48,901
I never took you
for a family man.
178
00:07:49,335 --> 00:07:50,636
What are you talking about?
What daughter?
179
00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:52,805
Come on, you got a
daughter, she's in college.
180
00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:54,106
Do i look like
a man who has a daughter?
181
00:07:54,106 --> 00:07:55,408
You calling me
a liar?
182
00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:56,709
You go slow.
183
00:07:58,444 --> 00:07:59,745
Put a muzzle on
tatchet-man.
184
00:07:59,745 --> 00:08:01,047
Let me loose
on him, boss.
185
00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:02,348
No, that's okay, Fabian.
186
00:08:02,782 --> 00:08:03,649
What's wrong
with you?
187
00:08:04,083 --> 00:08:05,818
You want to start
an incident here?
188
00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:07,553
You got some bad
information.
189
00:08:07,553 --> 00:08:10,590
I don't have a
daughter, and if i did,
190
00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:11,891
she wouldn't be
in college.
191
00:08:11,891 --> 00:08:13,626
You forget
i know you, perrit.
192
00:08:13,626 --> 00:08:14,927
You got aspirations.
193
00:08:14,927 --> 00:08:16,662
You want eveg
the best.
194
00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:17,964
She'sht now
195
00:08:17,964 --> 00:08:20,566
learning which spoon to
pick up with her fork.
196
00:08:20,566 --> 00:08:23,603
(laughing)
197
00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:24,904
(Archie)
Had meek attacked your daughter,
198
00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:26,205
or just heard
you got one?
199
00:08:26,205 --> 00:08:27,073
Nah, he just heard,
200
00:08:27,073 --> 00:08:28,808
but that was
enough for that rat.
201
00:08:28,808 --> 00:08:30,543
Well, that gives him
a bad hold over you.
202
00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:31,410
Forget me.
203
00:08:31,410 --> 00:08:33,579
The thought of him
even near her...
204
00:08:33,579 --> 00:08:35,314
my little girl.
205
00:08:35,314 --> 00:08:37,483
Did i tell you
she's at Columbia?
206
00:08:37,483 --> 00:08:39,652
(dazy)
She's studying to be a doctor.
207
00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:42,255
She wants to change the whole
public health system.
208
00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:44,423
They're all panting
to keep up with her.
209
00:08:44,423 --> 00:08:46,592
She's leavin' 'em in
a cloud of dust.
210
00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:48,761
Now, i got better brains
than any man i ever met,
211
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:51,364
but where she's concerned,
they don't work.
212
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,533
I rented a penthouse off
fth avenue,
213
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,701
and i brought in a girl
there to play my daughter.
214
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:57,870
Her name was angelina murphy.
215
00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:59,605
She was on the jump
in salt lake city
216
00:08:59,605 --> 00:09:01,774
on a cleaning
and rolling charge.
217
00:09:01,774 --> 00:09:03,075
I figured i had
enough on her
218
00:09:03,075 --> 00:09:04,377
to keep her mouth shut.
219
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,546
Her name as my daughter
was violet perrit.
220
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,281
I figured, with thumbs,
221
00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:10,016
if he saw my daughter
living there,
222
00:09:10,449 --> 00:09:13,052
he wouldn't go looking
for her in any other places.
223
00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:15,655
Then the little bitch used
the pliers on me.
224
00:09:15,655 --> 00:09:16,956
What?
225
00:09:16,956 --> 00:09:19,125
Your skirt's too short.
226
00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:21,294
Yeah, yeah, and i
got bare arms, too.
227
00:09:21,727 --> 00:09:22,595
I told you...
228
00:09:22,595 --> 00:09:24,764
look, bub, i ain't no
college kid, all right?
229
00:09:25,197 --> 00:09:26,933
I ain't going to columbia.
230
00:09:26,933 --> 00:09:29,969
Have you been
going through my mail?
231
00:09:29,969 --> 00:09:33,005
No, it was a lucky
guess, but thanks.
232
00:09:33,005 --> 00:09:34,740
A week before christmas,
233
00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:36,042
she asked me for
a thousand bucks,
234
00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:37,777
over and above her
allowance,
235
00:09:37,777 --> 00:09:39,078
and then, well...
236
00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:40,813
look, i got it right here,
written down.
237
00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:47,320
So, she's nicked
you for 25 grand.
238
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,055
Why didn't she have,
uh, an accident?
239
00:09:49,055 --> 00:09:51,223
How would thumbs Meeker dope
it out if she disappeared?
240
00:09:51,223 --> 00:09:53,392
Then he'd start looking for
her all over again, right?
241
00:09:53,826 --> 00:09:54,694
And beulah would
be in danger.
242
00:09:55,127 --> 00:09:55,995
I can't have that.
243
00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:58,164
Well, then you are stuck
with an expensive daughter.
244
00:09:58,164 --> 00:10:01,056
No, no, i'm stuck
with a glutton...
245
00:10:01,056 --> 00:10:02,501
and a fool.
246
00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:05,104
Last night she hit
me for 50 grand.
247
00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:07,273
Well, mr. Perrit,
why don't you try something
248
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:08,574
short of curtains?
249
00:10:09,008 --> 00:10:11,177
You think i've out
with a smile?
250
00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:12,912
No, no, i don't.
251
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:17,568
That's just
for a start.
252
00:10:17,568 --> 00:10:20,720
I'll pay what it's worth,
and it's worth plenty.
253
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:22,455
(sighing)
254
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:25,491
Hehe won't touch it.
255
00:10:25,491 --> 00:10:27,226
He's just as stubborn
as you are.
256
00:10:27,226 --> 00:10:30,262
And the two of you,
you are like two peas in a pod,
257
00:10:30,262 --> 00:10:32,431
like two racecars,
little box cars...
258
00:10:32,431 --> 00:10:34,600
you know what,
you talk too much.
259
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:37,203
The words weren't much, but
the tone hit me in the spine.
260
00:10:37,203 --> 00:10:38,938
It was the voice of a killer.
261
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:41,107
By the time dazy perrit
was ready to go,
262
00:10:41,107 --> 00:10:43,275
he had spent nearly an
hour giving me information
263
00:10:43,275 --> 00:10:46,312
about beulah page,
the name of his real daughter.
264
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:48,481
Dazy also made arrangements
for violet perrit
265
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,216
to be in Wolfe's
office at midnight.
266
00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:51,951
I want you to
be here by 100.
267
00:10:51,951 --> 00:10:53,686
But i got theater
tickets, and the four of us
268
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:55,855
got a table at "the tropicana"
for the late show.
269
00:10:55,855 --> 00:10:57,156
I don't care
what you've got!
270
00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:59,759
You get your jiggly ass
over here by 12:00.
271
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,229
Don'.
272
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,169
(Archie)
When Wolfe came down from the plant rooms,
273
00:11:10,169 --> 00:11:11,904
i made a full and honest report.
274
00:11:11,904 --> 00:11:13,639
If you'd like to
know the facts,
275
00:11:13,639 --> 00:11:15,374
i'm scared stiff.
276
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:20,146
Do you think we might
call that number tonight?
277
00:11:20,579 --> 00:11:21,881
Well, i think it would be
useless to use it
278
00:11:21,881 --> 00:11:24,050
if dazy isto be our cli
ent.
279
00:11:24,050 --> 00:11:25,351
Indeed.
280
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:26,218
Get the daughter.
281
00:11:26,652 --> 00:11:27,520
The daughter?
282
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:28,821
Which one,
violet or beulah?
283
00:11:28,821 --> 00:11:30,556
Miss page,
get miss page.
284
00:11:30,556 --> 00:11:32,291
I don't even know he
has a daughter.
285
00:11:32,291 --> 00:11:33,592
But i want to see her.
286
00:11:33,592 --> 00:11:35,761
At the very least,
i want you to see her.
287
00:11:38,798 --> 00:11:40,533
(ringing phone)
288
00:11:40,966 --> 00:11:41,834
Hello?
289
00:11:41,834 --> 00:11:43,135
Hello, hello, hello.
290
00:11:43,135 --> 00:11:46,605
Yes, may i speak to
miss beulah page, please?
291
00:11:46,605 --> 00:11:47,907
Talking.
292
00:11:47,907 --> 00:11:49,642
Say, are you
a preacher?
293
00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:50,943
No, ma'am, i'm not.
294
00:11:50,943 --> 00:11:52,678
Name is stevens,
harold stevens,
295
00:11:53,112 --> 00:11:54,847
from the dayton
community health center.
296
00:11:54,847 --> 00:11:56,582
May i have a moment
of your time?
297
00:11:56,582 --> 00:11:57,883
Certainly.
298
00:11:57,883 --> 00:11:59,185
Only it's too bad
you're not a preacher.
299
00:11:59,185 --> 00:12:00,920
We're getting married,
we've just decided.
300
00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:02,221
You know, i was
just calling...
301
00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:03,956
i wanted to
tell you about
302
00:12:03,956 --> 00:12:05,257
the wonderful work
we're doing here,
303
00:12:05,257 --> 00:12:06,992
at the dayton
community health center.
304
00:12:06,992 --> 00:12:09,161
Say, how did you know i was
interested in health work?
305
00:12:09,161 --> 00:12:12,198
Because you've been a geNerous
donor to various, ah...
306
00:12:12,631 --> 00:12:14,366
all right,
come on ahead.
307
00:12:14,366 --> 00:12:16,102
Come over and come on,
come on ahead.
308
00:12:16,102 --> 00:12:18,704
Lit, not plastered,
but lit.
309
00:12:18,704 --> 00:12:20,873
You know, i have
a better idea, miss page,
310
00:12:20,873 --> 00:12:23,909
why don't you let me
help you celebrate
311
00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:25,211
with a betrothal dinner?
312
00:12:25,211 --> 00:12:27,379
I happen to be
in manhattan right now.
313
00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:28,681
Why don't you come down?
314
00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:30,752
He happens to be a famous
man with a famous chef.
315
00:12:32,151 --> 00:12:33,452
Come on, who is he?
316
00:12:33,452 --> 00:12:35,621
Well, his name is Nero Wolfe,
he's uh, the detective.
317
00:12:36,055 --> 00:12:37,356
Yeah, he saved
my life once...
318
00:12:37,356 --> 00:12:39,525
that's right,
on a murder ge.
319
00:12:39,525 --> 00:12:41,694
Morton, we're gonna have
dinner with Nero Wolfe.
320
00:12:44,730 --> 00:12:46,031
Miss page.
321
00:12:46,031 --> 00:12:47,333
Mr. Schane,
you are...
322
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,502
(Archie)
Beulah and morton Schane arrived at 6:30
323
00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:51,237
for another meatless dinner,
324
00:12:51,237 --> 00:12:53,405
which is what got us into
this mess in the first place.
325
00:12:53,405 --> 00:12:55,574
I'll take it from here,
mr. Brenner.
326
00:12:55,574 --> 00:12:57,743
With pleasumr. Stevens.
327
00:12:59,478 --> 00:13:00,780
He didn't want to come.
328
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,515
I have to study
for an exam.
329
00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:04,250
On the night
we get engaged.
330
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:05,472
Well...
331
00:13:05,472 --> 00:13:06,852
he said i was maudlin
on the phone,
332
00:13:06,852 --> 00:13:07,720
and maybe i was,
333
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,455
but he shouldn't
have got me so drunk.
334
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:10,756
Now, wait a minute,
335
00:13:10,756 --> 00:13:12,491
who made
the cocktails?
336
00:13:12,491 --> 00:13:14,660
Aw, don't be
a party-pooper.
337
00:13:16,829 --> 00:13:19,431
Just, ah...
338
00:13:19,431 --> 00:13:21,600
to my surprise,
Wolfe had a good time.
339
00:13:22,034 --> 00:13:24,203
Beulah was one of the few women
he'd ever dined with
340
00:13:24,203 --> 00:13:25,938
who could keep up with him.
341
00:13:25,938 --> 00:13:27,239
Actually, the most
impressive flower
342
00:13:27,673 --> 00:13:29,842
i've ever seen was
an open rafflesia.
343
00:13:29,842 --> 00:13:32,011
Ah, corpse lily
in full bloom.
344
00:13:32,011 --> 00:13:34,180
Four feet across, harold.
345
00:13:34,613 --> 00:13:36,348
How lucky
for you.
346
00:13:36,348 --> 00:13:37,216
I suppose so.
347
00:13:37,216 --> 00:13:38,517
But it smelt
terrible.
348
00:13:38,517 --> 00:13:40,686
Well, that's only because
you're human, madam.
349
00:13:40,686 --> 00:13:42,855
If you were a
black fly, for instance,
350
00:13:43,289 --> 00:13:44,590
you would be attracted
to the smell
351
00:13:45,024 --> 00:13:46,325
of rotting meat.
352
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:48,928
You have an amazing range
of knowledge, mr. Wolfe.
353
00:13:49,361 --> 00:13:51,096
I don't really
know anything except law.
354
00:13:51,096 --> 00:13:52,398
That's the truth.
355
00:13:52,398 --> 00:13:54,133
He thinks lawyers are
the guardians of everything,
356
00:13:54,133 --> 00:13:56,735
from social conventions
to moral righteousness.
357
00:13:56,735 --> 00:13:58,037
No, no,
not righteousness,
358
00:13:58,037 --> 00:13:59,338
right.
359
00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:01,507
I hope,
morton, that you...
360
00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:03,242
are aware of the fact
that most people
361
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:06,278
do not like lawyers.
362
00:14:06,712 --> 00:14:08,447
(laughing)
363
00:14:08,447 --> 00:14:10,182
I don't.
364
00:14:10,616 --> 00:14:13,219
Lawyers are insufferable
word-stretchers.
365
00:14:13,219 --> 00:14:15,821
I had a draw up a tort for me on
ce.
366
00:14:15,821 --> 00:14:18,858
It was a rather simple
conveyance.
367
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,593
Took him 11 pages.
368
00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:22,328
Could've been
done in two.
369
00:14:22,761 --> 00:14:24,930
Have they taught you
to draw up torts yet?
370
00:14:24,930 --> 00:14:27,099
Naturally, sir,
that's in the course.
371
00:14:27,099 --> 00:14:30,135
I try not to put in more
words than necessary.
372
00:14:30,569 --> 00:14:31,871
Well, for god's sakes,
373
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:34,473
in the future,
make it brief.
374
00:14:34,473 --> 00:14:36,642
In the future,
make it brief. I will.
375
00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:40,546
Mmm.
376
00:14:45,751 --> 00:14:48,787
You know, you're
a swell guy, mr. Stevens.
377
00:14:48,787 --> 00:14:50,089
What do you think
of this?
378
00:14:50,522 --> 00:14:52,691
Drive beulah and and we'll get m
arried.
379
00:14:52,691 --> 00:14:54,426
How's that
for an idea?
380
00:14:54,426 --> 00:14:56,161
Well, i think it stinks.
381
00:14:56,161 --> 00:14:57,463
What?
Why?
382
00:14:57,463 --> 00:14:58,764
Because it does.
383
00:14:58,764 --> 00:15:00,499
I may not have a father
or mother
384
00:15:00,499 --> 00:15:02,592
or aunts or uncles or
cousins, for that matter,
385
00:15:02,592 --> 00:15:03,969
but it doesn't meant that
i need to sneak off
386
00:15:03,969 --> 00:15:05,271
to maryland in
the dead of night
387
00:15:05,271 --> 00:15:06,572
just to get a husband.
388
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:08,307
Well, i thought
it was romantic.
389
00:15:08,307 --> 00:15:09,608
No, i want flowers
and white things
390
00:15:09,608 --> 00:15:12,645
and sunshine,
if i get a break.
391
00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:15,247
Not cramming ourselves into
a car with poor mr. Stevens.
392
00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:17,416
Very well, then, if you
don't want to get married,
393
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:19,585
i'll go finish working
on my test.
394
00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:22,187
Fine, then you can take
the subway home to your work,
395
00:15:22,187 --> 00:15:24,356
and mr. Stevens and i will
go somewhere and dance.
396
00:15:24,356 --> 00:15:26,525
Now, wait a minute,
hold on a second here.
397
00:15:26,525 --> 00:15:28,694
First of all, we're about to
get married and i don't...
398
00:15:28,694 --> 00:15:30,429
for a minute,
it looked sticky.
399
00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:32,164
But the law student
filed objections,
400
00:15:32,164 --> 00:15:33,899
motions, and demurrers.
401
00:15:33,899 --> 00:15:35,634
And it ended happily with
them taking
402
00:15:35,634 --> 00:15:37,369
the same taxi home together.
403
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:40,839
E
call our client?
404
00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:42,141
No.
405
00:15:42,141 --> 00:15:43,008
No. No?
406
00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:44,743
It would be nice to
give him something.
407
00:15:44,743 --> 00:15:46,912
I mean, his daughter being
engaged is nothing colossal,
408
00:15:46,912 --> 00:15:48,213
but it's fresh.
409
00:15:48,213 --> 00:15:51,250
Of course,
now that she's met me
410
00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:52,985
she doesn't want
Schane at all.
411
00:15:52,985 --> 00:15:56,021
I'll have to get
out of it somehow.
412
00:15:56,021 --> 00:15:56,889
I can't very well
explain to her
413
00:15:57,323 --> 00:15:58,190
that i don't want
414
00:15:58,190 --> 00:15:59,491
dazy perrit
as a father-in-law...
415
00:15:59,491 --> 00:16:02,094
we have something far
better than that for him.
416
00:16:02,528 --> 00:16:03,829
Yeah, we do?
417
00:16:03,829 --> 00:16:05,130
Um-hmm.
418
00:16:05,564 --> 00:16:07,733
What, did something happen
while i was out?
419
00:16:07,733 --> 00:16:09,902
No, while you
were here.
420
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:13,806
Evidently,
you missed it.
421
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:15,541
Oh.
422
00:16:17,276 --> 00:16:19,011
(sighing)
423
00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:24,650
I'll just get
back to these.
424
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:28,120
(clearing throat)
425
00:16:31,590 --> 00:16:32,891
(ringing doorbell)
426
00:16:32,891 --> 00:16:35,928
Ah, violet perrit.
427
00:16:35,928 --> 00:16:38,097
Now, dazy perrit, he said
that we should
428
00:16:38,097 --> 00:16:40,265
call her
miss murphy.
429
00:16:40,265 --> 00:16:41,133
It'll upset her.
430
00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:42,868
Right.
431
00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:51,977
You like it?
432
00:16:51,977 --> 00:16:53,712
(chuckling)
433
00:16:53,712 --> 00:16:58,050
Miss murphy, you are
getting money from mr. Perrit
434
00:16:58,050 --> 00:16:59,785
by threatening to disclose
435
00:16:59,785 --> 00:17:01,954
the existence
of his real daughter.
436
00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:03,689
That, of course,
is blackmail.
437
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:07,159
Wha... i can't
believe my ears.
438
00:17:07,159 --> 00:17:11,063
Dazy perrit telling anyone
i'm not his daughter.
439
00:17:11,063 --> 00:17:13,232
You find it difficult
to believe, miss murphy,
440
00:17:13,232 --> 00:17:16,702
because you have misjudged
his character.
441
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:20,172
You didn't stop to consider
that his strongest feeling,
442
00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:22,775
stronger even than his
feeling for his daughter,
443
00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:24,510
is his vanity.
444
00:17:24,510 --> 00:17:26,245
He cannot,
and will not tolerate
445
00:17:26,245 --> 00:17:28,414
anyone's ascendancy
over him.
446
00:17:28,414 --> 00:17:31,450
In short: He can't stand
to have you diddle him.
447
00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:33,619
Yeah, balls.
448
00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:35,354
So, where do you
come buttin' in?
449
00:17:35,354 --> 00:17:37,523
Mr. Perrit has
made the same mistake
450
00:17:37,523 --> 00:17:40,125
you did and misjudged
a man's character...
451
00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:41,427
mine.
452
00:17:41,427 --> 00:17:42,728
Henceforth, miss murphy,
453
00:17:43,162 --> 00:17:45,764
whenever you get
money from mr. Perrit,
454
00:17:45,764 --> 00:17:47,933
above your hundred
dollars a week,
455
00:17:47,933 --> 00:17:50,536
you will give
me 90% from it
456
00:17:50,536 --> 00:17:52,271
or the salt lake city
authorities
457
00:17:52,271 --> 00:17:53,138
will come and get you.
458
00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:55,741
Aw, for the love of...
459
00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:58,777
do you think
i'm that dumb, huh?
460
00:17:58,777 --> 00:18:00,946
Does dazy think
i'm that dumb?
461
00:18:00,946 --> 00:18:02,247
I give you the money,
462
00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:04,416
you hand it over to him,
and he gets off cheap.
463
00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:06,585
Now wouldn't
that be sweet, huh?
464
00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:08,320
No.
465
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,489
You got me
all wrong, mr. Wolfe.
466
00:18:10,489 --> 00:18:13,092
You see, i got
what it takes.
467
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:16,562
It takes guts to make
dazy perrit fork it over.
468
00:18:16,562 --> 00:18:18,730
I was at the theater tonight.
469
00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:21,767
But you'll notice
i'm wearing sleeves, hmm?
470
00:18:30,876 --> 00:18:32,177
Archie.
471
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,684
I can't really tell.
472
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,419
Could be fingers
or a fist
473
00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:42,588
or he might've
used something.
474
00:18:42,588 --> 00:18:43,455
Put your shirt on.
475
00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:44,756
There's more. Shirt on.
476
00:18:44,756 --> 00:18:46,925
But you're gonna have to
pay to see those.
477
00:18:46,925 --> 00:18:48,660
I took it, mr. Wolfe.
478
00:18:48,660 --> 00:18:49,962
I told him,
you hurt me enough,
479
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:51,697
and i am gonna spill plenty
480
00:18:51,697 --> 00:18:54,299
where it's gonna do
the most good.
481
00:18:54,733 --> 00:18:55,601
And now he thinks
482
00:18:55,601 --> 00:18:58,203
he can get away with
this lousy runaround?
483
00:18:58,203 --> 00:18:59,071
Nuts.
484
00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:00,372
Well, you may be right,
miss murphy,
485
00:19:00,372 --> 00:19:02,975
but what if i'm
acting on my own hook?
486
00:19:03,408 --> 00:19:04,710
You would discover it
too late.
487
00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:06,011
Yeah.
488
00:19:06,445 --> 00:19:08,180
He told you to say
that, didn't he?
489
00:19:08,180 --> 00:19:09,915
No, he didn't.
490
00:19:17,723 --> 00:19:19,892
Of caution:'t. Word
491
00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:22,494
if you disappear,
mr. Perrit might decide
492
00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:25,097
not to find you, for
obvious reasons.
493
00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:26,832
But i wouldn't.
494
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:29,001
If you disappear,
i will find you.
495
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,170
I am fully as
vain as mr. Perrit.
496
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,772
And i will not
be diddled!
497
00:19:37,242 --> 00:19:40,279
My god, is he fat.
498
00:19:40,279 --> 00:19:41,580
Y'know, luckily,
you don't have to
499
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:43,315
boost the pot right now.
500
00:19:43,749 --> 00:19:45,918
You got time to sleep on it,
and you probably should.
501
00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:48,954
Shall i take you
home, miss murphy?
502
00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:51,557
Tell you what...
503
00:19:51,557 --> 00:19:55,027
why don't you just cith
the "miss murphy", huh?
504
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:57,629
You can call
me angel food.
505
00:19:58,063 --> 00:20:00,232
Sure, sure,
angel food.
506
00:20:02,401 --> 00:20:04,569
(Archie)
A ride in the car would give me 20 minutes
507
00:20:04,569 --> 00:20:06,738
to sell Wolfe's plan,
and if i couldn't,
508
00:20:06,738 --> 00:20:09,775
i could ensure that she
wouldn't blurt it out to dazy,
509
00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:11,510
as there was no way of telling
510
00:20:11,510 --> 00:20:13,678
how violent
his reaction might be.
511
00:20:20,185 --> 00:20:21,052
Miss murphy.
512
00:20:21,052 --> 00:20:21,920
Angl food.
513
00:20:22,354 --> 00:20:24,523
Yeah, but i don't
like angel food, though.
514
00:20:24,523 --> 00:20:27,559
How about maple...
delight?
515
00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:30,162
It doesn't matter, though,
anyway, because you are sunk.
516
00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:34,933
Mr. Wolfe is a hyena,
a vulture, a jackal.
517
00:20:34,933 --> 00:20:36,668
Your voice goes
right through me.
518
00:20:37,102 --> 00:20:39,704
I won't even need
a drink first.
519
00:20:39,704 --> 00:20:41,873
How about not
being so greedy, huh?
520
00:20:42,307 --> 00:20:44,476
Why don't you tell dazy
the gyp is out, right?
521
00:20:44,476 --> 00:20:47,512
You are merely his loving
and obedient daughter.
522
00:20:47,946 --> 00:20:50,549
It's just that it would
be nice if that c-note
523
00:20:50,549 --> 00:20:51,850
he gave you once a week
524
00:20:51,850 --> 00:20:53,585
were up to three,
how about that, huh?
525
00:20:53,585 --> 00:20:54,886
We'll leave the car here,
526
00:20:54,886 --> 00:20:56,621
and i'll come down later
and give you a ride home.
527
00:20:57,055 --> 00:20:58,790
(screeching tires)
528
00:20:58,790 --> 00:21:00,959
(shooting)
529
00:21:05,730 --> 00:21:08,767
(woman)
Call the police!
530
00:21:11,803 --> 00:21:13,538
All right, hang on there,
angel food.
531
00:21:13,538 --> 00:21:16,141
It's sh-shame...
532
00:21:16,141 --> 00:21:17,008
what?
533
00:21:17,008 --> 00:21:19,611
It's sh-sh-shame...
534
00:21:22,214 --> 00:21:23,515
stay with her.
535
00:21:39,130 --> 00:21:42,167
(ringing phone)
536
00:21:42,167 --> 00:21:43,034
Who is it?
537
00:21:43,468 --> 00:21:44,336
It's Archie.
538
00:21:44,336 --> 00:21:46,071
I brought her home...
a guy in a car drove by
539
00:21:46,071 --> 00:21:46,938
started shooting.
540
00:21:46,938 --> 00:21:48,240
I did not get
the license.
541
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:49,541
She is dead.
542
00:21:49,541 --> 00:21:52,143
I'll bet that bastard
perrit decided to get her
543
00:21:52,143 --> 00:21:54,312
and use us for proof
of something and...
544
00:21:54,312 --> 00:21:56,047
get off of
that phone now.
545
00:21:56,481 --> 00:21:57,782
Archie!
546
00:22:00,819 --> 00:22:02,120
What?
547
00:22:02,120 --> 00:22:04,289
Fritz, bolt the door,
let no one in.
548
00:22:04,289 --> 00:22:06,458
And call
saul panzer.
549
00:22:06,458 --> 00:22:08,627
Tell him i need him
immediately.
550
00:22:08,627 --> 00:22:09,928
Yes, sir.
551
00:22:10,362 --> 00:22:11,663
Lieutenant Rowcliff
is one of the reasons
552
00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:14,266
i doubt the world will ever
reach universal brotherhood.
553
00:22:14,699 --> 00:22:15,567
It just doesn't
seem feasible,
554
00:22:15,567 --> 00:22:19,037
as long as opinions like mine
555
00:22:19,037 --> 00:22:20,772
is dazy perrit holed up
in Wolfe's house?
556
00:22:20,772 --> 00:22:22,073
Ah, good lord, no.
557
00:22:22,073 --> 00:22:23,808
It makes my teeth chatter
just thinking about it.
558
00:22:23,808 --> 00:22:25,110
And did your teeth
chatter yesterday
559
00:22:26,845 --> 00:22:29,014
arranging things
with Wolfe?
560
00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:32,050
Lieutenant, i knew a man once,
who insisted on hunting ducks
561
00:22:32,050 --> 00:22:32,918
with a shotgun.
562
00:22:33,351 --> 00:22:34,219
It knocked him
flat on his prat
563
00:22:34,219 --> 00:22:35,520
every time he pulled
the trigger.
564
00:22:35,954 --> 00:22:37,255
He seemed to love it.
565
00:22:37,255 --> 00:22:38,990
You know what, you kind of
remind me of him.
566
00:22:38,990 --> 00:22:40,725
Oh, yeah?
567
00:22:43,762 --> 00:22:45,931
Well, if Wolfe had nothing
to do with this,
568
00:22:45,931 --> 00:22:48,967
why didn't he
come to the door?
569
00:22:48,967 --> 00:22:50,702
Why don't you try him
tomorrow morning?
570
00:22:50,702 --> 00:22:53,305
He comes down from
the plant rooms around 11:00.
571
00:22:53,305 --> 00:22:55,907
Good luck tonight.
572
00:22:55,907 --> 00:22:58,510
As i walked home,
i did some useless wondering.
573
00:22:58,944 --> 00:23:01,546
It was a cinch that dazy perrit
had decided to erase her,
574
00:23:01,546 --> 00:23:04,583
but why drag Wolfe
in, not to mention me?
575
00:23:05,016 --> 00:23:06,318
Being pulled into the affairs
576
00:23:06,318 --> 00:23:08,486
of Meeker and perrit wasn't
taking a risk,
577
00:23:08,486 --> 00:23:10,655
it was checking out, with
the date of the departure
578
00:23:10,655 --> 00:23:11,957
the only thing to be settled.
579
00:23:12,390 --> 00:23:13,258
It's late,
580
00:23:13,692 --> 00:23:17,162
but i felt you would want
to start immediately.
581
00:23:17,162 --> 00:23:18,463
I have a friend
who has his own lab.
582
00:23:18,463 --> 00:23:19,764
The friend in
washington?
583
00:23:19,764 --> 00:23:21,066
Yes, if i get
that to him
584
00:23:21,066 --> 00:23:22,801
before the start
of the business day,
585
00:23:22,801 --> 00:23:24,536
he's always prompt
with the results.
586
00:23:24,536 --> 00:23:26,705
Speed is of
the utmost importance.
587
00:23:26,705 --> 00:23:29,741
15 minutes later,
i decided to forget perrit.
588
00:23:29,741 --> 00:23:31,476
The guy i really wanted
to shoot was Wolfe
589
00:23:31,476 --> 00:23:34,079
for having opened the door
and inviting perrit in,
590
00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:36,247
all in search of a spare rib.
591
00:23:36,247 --> 00:23:37,983
I want to talk to
you about tonight.
592
00:23:37,983 --> 00:23:39,284
My car is right there.
593
00:23:39,284 --> 00:23:41,886
Uh, yeah, uh...
let's talk here.
594
00:23:41,886 --> 00:23:43,622
I often talk to people
right here.
595
00:23:43,622 --> 00:23:44,489
Get going.
596
00:23:44,923 --> 00:23:46,224
Uh, i like it here.
597
00:23:46,224 --> 00:23:47,959
Look, uh, even if
i had ideas,
598
00:23:48,393 --> 00:23:50,128
which i don't,
i emptied my gun.
599
00:23:50,128 --> 00:23:51,863
See, my gun's empty.
600
00:23:51,863 --> 00:23:55,333
(rapid firing)
601
00:23:58,803 --> 00:24:00,538
(man)
Look out!
602
00:24:00,972 --> 00:24:01,840
Get out of here.
603
00:24:18,323 --> 00:24:20,925
Ah, gee, Fritz.
Archie!
604
00:24:20,925 --> 00:24:23,528
Oh my god, did you,
did you kill somebody?
605
00:24:23,528 --> 00:24:24,396
Archie!
606
00:24:24,396 --> 00:24:25,697
What the devil
is going on?
607
00:24:25,697 --> 00:24:27,432
I, i know you're probably
expecting an apology
608
00:24:27,866 --> 00:24:29,167
for interfering
with your sleep,
609
00:24:29,601 --> 00:24:30,367
but there are two corpses
610
00:24:30,367 --> 00:24:32,637
back on the sidewalk
at the corner.
611
00:24:32,637 --> 00:24:34,806
I got to call
the 19th precinct.
612
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:37,842
Will i get any
sleep tonight?
613
00:24:37,842 --> 00:24:39,577
(ringing phone)
614
00:24:39,577 --> 00:24:40,799
Nero Wolfe's.
615
00:24:40,799 --> 00:24:42,614
Archie,
it's saul.
616
00:24:42,614 --> 00:24:44,349
I need mr. Wolfe.
617
00:24:44,349 --> 00:24:45,650
Saul panzer.
618
00:24:46,084 --> 00:24:46,951
Ah, good.
619
00:24:49,988 --> 00:24:51,723
Archie...
620
00:24:51,723 --> 00:24:53,892
go up to your room
and look at your face.
621
00:24:53,892 --> 00:24:55,627
It needs washing.
622
00:24:55,627 --> 00:24:57,362
Yours would, too,
if you spent the night
623
00:24:57,362 --> 00:24:58,663
rolling around
on sidewalks.
624
00:24:59,097 --> 00:25:00,398
Just go up and
wash your face.
625
00:25:00,398 --> 00:25:01,700
So i'm out of it?
626
00:25:01,700 --> 00:25:03,868
Well, at the moment i have
nothing to discuss.
627
00:25:03,868 --> 00:25:05,170
Yeah, well.
628
00:25:05,170 --> 00:25:08,640
Oh, uh, if you really
want something to do,
629
00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:10,809
um...
630
00:25:10,809 --> 00:25:13,411
no, perhaps it would be
futile to call that number,
631
00:25:13,411 --> 00:25:16,014
lincoln 6-3-2-3-2,
about the meat.
632
00:25:16,448 --> 00:25:19,050
No, he's...
mr. Perrit's dead.
633
00:25:19,050 --> 00:25:20,351
Don't ask me,
i'm out of it.
634
00:25:20,351 --> 00:25:22,087
(ringing doorbell)
635
00:25:22,087 --> 00:25:23,388
Yes, saul.
636
00:25:23,822 --> 00:25:25,990
At 4:00 a.m.,
Rowcliff and his army
637
00:25:25,990 --> 00:25:27,726
assaulted the brownstone.
638
00:25:28,159 --> 00:25:29,461
Wolfe refused
to come down,
639
00:25:29,461 --> 00:25:31,629
taking the strategic
high ground.
640
00:25:31,629 --> 00:25:33,798
This is
a hell of a thing.
641
00:25:35,533 --> 00:25:37,268
Why, uh, mr. Wolfe,
642
00:25:37,268 --> 00:25:38,570
why can't we
meet downstairs?
643
00:25:38,570 --> 00:25:39,871
Why you wish to
see me at all
644
00:25:39,871 --> 00:25:42,367
is an exercise
in faulty logic.
645
00:25:45,944 --> 00:25:48,113
A block from
where i am sleeping,
646
00:25:48,113 --> 00:25:51,149
why am i associated
with the event?
647
00:25:51,149 --> 00:25:54,185
Uh, still...
648
00:25:54,185 --> 00:25:57,655
it... it's a hell
of a thing.
649
00:25:58,089 --> 00:25:59,390
Well, get, get
your notebook out!
650
00:25:59,390 --> 00:26:00,692
Sharpen your
pencil!
651
00:26:00,692 --> 00:26:02,861
It's almost dawn.
652
00:26:04,596 --> 00:26:07,198
Sit down, please!
653
00:26:07,632 --> 00:26:08,933
Violet perrit
and the blackmail
654
00:26:08,933 --> 00:26:13,271
and nothing about
beulah page.
655
00:26:13,271 --> 00:26:14,572
From the way they acted,
656
00:26:15,006 --> 00:26:16,741
i could tell they knew
dazy's friends and compatriots
657
00:26:16,741 --> 00:26:19,344
would not let his death
go unavenged.
658
00:26:19,344 --> 00:26:21,946
Wolfe and i were prime
candidates for the avengees.
659
00:26:21,946 --> 00:26:23,681
Nothing more to say,
fellas, that's it.
660
00:26:24,115 --> 00:26:25,416
It's all right there
in your book.
661
00:26:25,416 --> 00:26:27,585
Told you evething.
662
00:26:27,585 --> 00:26:29,754
(Archie)
By the time Wolfe emerged from the plant rooms,
663
00:26:29,754 --> 00:26:31,055
he had a visitor.
664
00:26:31,055 --> 00:26:32,357
I wouldn't have picked
l.a. Schwartz
665
00:26:32,791 --> 00:26:33,658
to be
dazy perrit's lawyer...
666
00:26:34,092 --> 00:26:34,959
for one thing,
667
00:26:35,393 --> 00:26:37,562
he wore old-fashioned nose
pinchers for glasses,
668
00:26:37,562 --> 00:26:38,863
which didn't
seem to be the thing.
669
00:26:39,297 --> 00:26:40,598
Well?
670
00:26:41,032 --> 00:26:44,068
In the past, i have attended
to a few little matters
671
00:26:44,502 --> 00:26:47,539
for mr. Perrit of
a purely legal nature.
672
00:26:47,539 --> 00:26:50,575
I know law but, on accout,
673
00:26:50,575 --> 00:26:52,744
i'm not a
successful lawyer.
674
00:26:53,178 --> 00:26:55,780
Now, last evening, he called
me at my home...
675
00:26:55,780 --> 00:26:57,949
he never
calls at my office...
676
00:26:57,949 --> 00:27:00,552
and asked me to meet him
at the "7-11 club".
677
00:27:00,552 --> 00:27:03,154
He wanted me
to draw up papers
678
00:27:03,154 --> 00:27:06,624
there in his presence,
and it took a while...
679
00:27:06,624 --> 00:27:09,227
i'm not very
fast on a typewriter.
680
00:27:09,227 --> 00:27:13,565
Can you be concise?
681
00:27:13,565 --> 00:27:16,601
That you had not explicitly
given your assent,
682
00:27:16,601 --> 00:27:17,902
and, therefore...
683
00:27:17,902 --> 00:27:19,637
my assent?
My assent to what?
684
00:27:19,637 --> 00:27:21,806
Your appointment as
executor of his estate and,
685
00:27:21,806 --> 00:27:24,843
in effect, the guardian
of his daughter.
686
00:27:24,843 --> 00:27:25,710
Did you?
687
00:27:25,710 --> 00:27:27,011
Utterly
preposterous!
688
00:27:27,011 --> 00:27:29,614
Uhh, i was afraid
of that.
689
00:27:29,614 --> 00:27:31,783
It will
complicate matters.
690
00:27:31,783 --> 00:27:35,687
There is a question of
whether the $50,000 provided
691
00:27:38,723 --> 00:27:40,458
if the execu
692
00:27:40,458 --> 00:27:42,193
ah.
693
00:27:42,193 --> 00:27:44,362
Tell me about it.
694
00:27:44,796 --> 00:27:47,398
Last evening, he asked
me to meet him.
695
00:27:47,398 --> 00:27:52,170
Schwartzy, i need you to get
me a will or something
696
00:27:52,170 --> 00:27:53,471
so that i can leave my...
697
00:27:53,905 --> 00:27:55,640
i want my daughter
to be protected.
698
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:56,941
Can you do that?
699
00:27:56,941 --> 00:27:57,809
Daughter?
700
00:27:57,809 --> 00:27:59,110
I wasn't
aware you had...
701
00:27:59,110 --> 00:27:59,978
yeah.
702
00:27:59,978 --> 00:28:01,279
Look, here's
the birth certificate.
703
00:28:01,279 --> 00:28:03,014
And that's legit, and so
is the marriage license.
704
00:28:03,014 --> 00:28:04,749
And these are the bonds
i want her to have.
705
00:28:05,183 --> 00:28:08,219
These are... these are
worth a million dollars.
706
00:28:08,219 --> 00:28:10,822
Can you fix these
papers so that her...
707
00:28:10,822 --> 00:28:12,991
they don't mention her name,
it's not on 'em?
708
00:28:13,424 --> 00:28:16,027
Well, it's extremely
difficult to convey property
709
00:28:16,027 --> 00:28:17,762
to a daughter without
mentioning her name.
710
00:28:18,196 --> 00:28:19,063
Schwartzy,
you can do it.
711
00:28:19,063 --> 00:28:21,232
Now, i want Wolfe to be
the executor, okay?
712
00:28:21,232 --> 00:28:22,533
I sized
him up good.
713
00:28:22,533 --> 00:28:23,835
He's the one.
714
00:28:23,835 --> 00:28:25,136
He knows who
she is.
715
00:28:25,570 --> 00:28:26,437
I trust him.
716
00:28:26,437 --> 00:28:28,606
Mr. Perrit, this
is highly irregular,
717
00:28:28,606 --> 00:28:30,775
even for a person
like you.
718
00:28:30,775 --> 00:28:32,076
If you pull this off,
719
00:28:32,076 --> 00:28:34,245
there's $50,000
in it for you
720
00:28:34,679 --> 00:28:36,414
to be paid
to you by Wolfe
721
00:28:36,414 --> 00:28:38,149
'cause i want him to
be the executor.
722
00:28:38,149 --> 00:28:39,884
I'm not gonna die, but
you never know, do ya?
723
00:28:39,884 --> 00:28:41,619
What if i do?
724
00:28:41,619 --> 00:28:42,921
She's got
to be protected.
725
00:28:42,921 --> 00:28:45,957
She's got to get what belongs
to her, and this does.
726
00:28:45,957 --> 00:28:47,258
I want you to
leave it up to Wolfe
727
00:28:47,692 --> 00:28:51,596
whether to tell her about me
or who i am or not, okay?
728
00:28:51,596 --> 00:28:52,463
He'll know.
729
00:28:52,463 --> 00:28:53,765
I sized
him up good.
730
00:28:53,765 --> 00:28:55,500
And i trust him,
okay, schwartz?
731
00:28:55,500 --> 00:28:58,970
I understand there may
be some reluctance.
732
00:29:01,572 --> 00:29:03,308
Put them in the safe.
733
00:29:03,741 --> 00:29:06,344
If a wall street bandit is
able to dispose of his loot
734
00:29:06,344 --> 00:29:07,645
as he wishes,
735
00:29:08,079 --> 00:29:09,380
why shouldn't
mr. Perrit?
736
00:29:09,380 --> 00:29:10,248
So you accept?
737
00:29:10,248 --> 00:29:11,115
I do.
738
00:29:11,549 --> 00:29:14,152
Ah, one detail,
if i may?
739
00:29:14,152 --> 00:29:16,321
With the daughter dead,
740
00:29:16,321 --> 00:29:19,791
how do you propose to perform
the functions of your office?
741
00:29:19,791 --> 00:29:21,526
That, sir,
is my affair.
742
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:23,261
I see.
743
00:29:23,261 --> 00:29:26,297
Another detail,
if you don't mind, then?
744
00:29:26,297 --> 00:29:30,201
Your assistantoth miss per
rit
745
00:29:30,201 --> 00:29:31,936
and mr. Perrit were killed
746
00:29:32,370 --> 00:29:33,671
and he was not
injured.
747
00:29:34,105 --> 00:29:36,708
Now, when it becomes
public knowledge that
748
00:29:36,708 --> 00:29:39,744
over a million dollars has
been entrusted to your hands,
749
00:29:39,744 --> 00:29:44,082
mr. Perrit's former associates
will draw certain inferences
750
00:29:44,082 --> 00:29:46,250
and will kill
both of you.
751
00:29:46,250 --> 00:29:47,552
That is likely.
752
00:29:47,986 --> 00:29:49,721
(ringing phone)
753
00:29:49,721 --> 00:29:51,022
Then how will
i be paid?
754
00:29:51,022 --> 00:29:53,191
Nero Wolfe's office,
Archie Goodwin spea...
755
00:29:53,191 --> 00:29:55,360
i want to talk
to Wolfe.
756
00:29:58,396 --> 00:30:00,131
Nero Wolfe speaking.
757
00:30:00,565 --> 00:30:01,866
Your name,
please!
758
00:30:01,866 --> 00:30:03,167
No names.
759
00:30:03,167 --> 00:30:05,770
I'm sorry, sir, i never speak
to people without a name.
760
00:30:06,204 --> 00:30:10,108
Have you ever heard
of a man named Fabian?
761
00:30:10,108 --> 00:30:11,409
Oh my, yes.
762
00:30:11,409 --> 00:30:12,710
So have i.
763
00:30:12,710 --> 00:30:14,445
Is he a friend
of dazy perrit's?
764
00:30:14,445 --> 00:30:15,313
He would say so.
765
00:30:15,747 --> 00:30:17,915
He's his bagman,
his hatchet, his trigger.
766
00:30:17,915 --> 00:30:21,819
Mr. Fabian, i never make
appointments outside my home.
767
00:30:21,819 --> 00:30:24,422
Why don't you come
to my office,
768
00:30:24,422 --> 00:30:26,591
say at 2:00 today?
769
00:30:26,591 --> 00:30:27,892
Good.
770
00:30:30,495 --> 00:30:31,796
Oh, good heavens!
771
00:30:31,796 --> 00:30:33,531
He is
the most notorious...
772
00:30:33,531 --> 00:30:36,567
t-to invite him...
773
00:30:36,567 --> 00:30:37,869
to even let
him in.
774
00:30:38,302 --> 00:30:39,170
Well, if he has drawn
775
00:30:39,170 --> 00:30:40,905
the sort of
inferences you fear,
776
00:30:40,905 --> 00:30:44,375
my own office is the only
safe place to meet.
777
00:30:44,375 --> 00:30:46,978
(ringing phone)
778
00:30:47,412 --> 00:30:49,147
Nero Wolfe's office,
Archie Goodwin speak...
779
00:30:49,147 --> 00:30:50,882
you said your name
was harold stevens!
780
00:30:50,882 --> 00:30:51,749
I saw your picture
in that paper
781
00:30:52,183 --> 00:30:53,918
and that man who was
killed, i know him!
782
00:30:53,918 --> 00:30:55,219
Shh... hold.
783
00:30:55,219 --> 00:30:57,388
Uh, it's the friend
of the law student.
784
00:30:57,822 --> 00:31:00,425
Yes, well, we might
as well get it over with.
785
00:31:00,425 --> 00:31:01,726
Invite her for lunch.
786
00:31:01,726 --> 00:31:03,461
Tell her to come
to the back door.
787
00:31:03,461 --> 00:31:06,064
Why don't you come for lunch
today, saround 1:00?
788
00:31:06,064 --> 00:31:07,799
(Wolfe)
And, mr. Schwartz,
789
00:31:07,799 --> 00:31:09,534
if you wis $50,000,
790
00:31:09,967 --> 00:31:12,570
i will expect you
to come back at 2:00
791
00:31:12,570 --> 00:31:15,606
for my meeting with
mr. Fabian.
792
00:31:19,077 --> 00:31:21,679
Do you know what
a hypothetical question is?
793
00:31:21,679 --> 00:31:22,980
Certainly.
794
00:31:26,451 --> 00:31:29,921
Well, let me
put one to you.
795
00:31:29,921 --> 00:31:31,656
Suppose these things...
796
00:31:32,090 --> 00:31:35,126
that your father has
made available to you,
797
00:31:35,126 --> 00:31:36,861
a considerable sum
of money,
798
00:31:37,295 --> 00:31:40,765
that he cannot ever
disclose himself to you
799
00:31:40,765 --> 00:31:44,235
and that he has put it wholly
within my discretion
800
00:31:44,235 --> 00:31:46,838
whether you
should be told his name.
801
00:31:46,838 --> 00:31:49,440
Now, supposing all that,
802
00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:52,477
here's what you
must think over:
803
00:31:52,477 --> 00:31:55,079
Do you want me to tell
you his name or not?
804
00:31:55,079 --> 00:31:56,380
I don't need to
think that over.
805
00:31:56,814 --> 00:31:57,682
That is an impulse.
806
00:31:58,116 --> 00:32:00,718
It's not
an impulse.
807
00:32:00,718 --> 00:32:02,453
Good lord,
it's not an impulse.
808
00:32:02,453 --> 00:32:04,622
I, i want to know.
809
00:32:04,622 --> 00:32:06,357
Hmm.
810
00:32:06,791 --> 00:32:08,526
Mr. Dazy perrit.
811
00:32:12,430 --> 00:32:13,731
I knew it.
812
00:32:13,731 --> 00:32:15,900
The devil you did.
813
00:32:15,900 --> 00:32:18,069
I knew it when i,
when i saw in the paper
814
00:32:18,503 --> 00:32:20,238
that he had died, l...
815
00:32:22,406 --> 00:32:24,142
(sobbing)
816
00:32:24,575 --> 00:32:25,877
Good god.
817
00:32:25,877 --> 00:32:27,612
I knew it.
818
00:32:35,419 --> 00:32:38,022
Why don't you have the sense
to leave like he did?
819
00:32:45,396 --> 00:32:47,565
(ringing doorbell)
820
00:32:47,999 --> 00:32:50,601
Why, inspector, did
Rowcliff lose his notes?
821
00:32:50,601 --> 00:32:52,770
No, this is just
a friendly call.
822
00:32:55,806 --> 00:32:57,108
How are you?
823
00:32:57,542 --> 00:33:01,012
I am the way i always am
just before lunch.
824
00:33:01,012 --> 00:33:02,313
Hungry.
825
00:33:02,313 --> 00:33:04,048
Mm-hmm.
826
00:33:04,048 --> 00:33:06,217
Well, enjoy it.
827
00:33:06,217 --> 00:33:08,819
Thanks for telling Rowcliff
about perrit's daughter
828
00:33:08,819 --> 00:33:10,555
being wanted in salt lake.
829
00:33:10,988 --> 00:33:12,723
She had about
10 years coming.
830
00:33:13,157 --> 00:33:15,760
And she wasn't perrit's
daughter at all.
831
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:17,495
I just thought
i'd tell you that.
832
00:33:17,495 --> 00:33:21,399
And i suppose you might
want to add some...
833
00:33:21,399 --> 00:33:22,700
last words.
834
00:33:22,700 --> 00:33:24,869
No...
i, l... no.
835
00:33:25,303 --> 00:33:26,170
Nothing at all, huh?
836
00:33:26,604 --> 00:33:27,471
Nothing.
837
00:33:27,471 --> 00:33:30,074
Like the job you
took on for perrit?
838
00:33:30,074 --> 00:33:33,978
Okay, all right, well...
839
00:33:33,978 --> 00:33:36,581
i didn't
expect anything.
840
00:33:36,581 --> 00:33:38,749
Enjoy your lunch.
841
00:33:38,749 --> 00:33:40,484
Yes, thank you.
842
00:33:43,087 --> 00:33:45,256
Don't bother, ay out.
843
00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:51,762
Well, at least i heard
that before i die.
844
00:33:51,762 --> 00:33:52,630
What, what?
845
00:33:52,630 --> 00:33:53,931
Cramer.
846
00:33:53,931 --> 00:33:55,233
He just told you to
enjoy your lunch.
847
00:33:55,233 --> 00:33:56,534
Yes?
848
00:33:56,534 --> 00:33:57,835
Yeah, you know why?
849
00:33:57,835 --> 00:33:59,136
He thinks the only guy
you should be talking to
850
00:33:59,136 --> 00:34:00,004
is a priest.
851
00:34:00,438 --> 00:34:02,173
It was, in effect,
an obituary, wasn't it?
852
00:34:02,173 --> 00:34:03,474
Yes.
853
00:34:03,474 --> 00:34:06,944
If i were a sentimentalist,
i'd be touched.
854
00:34:06,944 --> 00:34:10,414
(ringing phone)
855
00:34:10,414 --> 00:34:12,149
Nero Wolfe's office,
Archie Goodwin...
856
00:34:12,149 --> 00:34:14,752
Archie, it's saul.
857
00:34:14,752 --> 00:34:16,487
Yeah,
hold on.
858
00:34:16,487 --> 00:34:17,788
Saul panzer.
859
00:34:17,788 --> 00:34:19,090
Well.
860
00:34:20,825 --> 00:34:24,729
Yes, saul, i'll need you
here earlier than expected.
861
00:34:24,729 --> 00:34:26,030
Yes.
862
00:34:26,030 --> 00:34:27,331
You can join us
for lunch.
863
00:34:27,765 --> 00:34:29,500
I'm on my way.
864
00:34:29,500 --> 00:34:32,103
Wolfe may have enjoyed
his lunch, but i sure didn't.
865
00:34:32,103 --> 00:34:35,139
I couldn't help compare it
to the prisoner's last meal.
866
00:34:35,139 --> 00:34:36,440
No matter how good it is,
867
00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:37,742
it's difficult
to taste it.
868
00:34:37,742 --> 00:34:40,344
We'r
guests at 2:00.
869
00:34:40,344 --> 00:34:44,248
Now, you can either leave
or go to the plant rooms.
870
00:34:44,248 --> 00:34:45,549
Beulah can, but...
871
00:34:45,983 --> 00:34:47,718
i don't like the way
things look here.
872
00:34:47,718 --> 00:34:50,321
Who are these
guests you're expecting?
873
00:34:50,321 --> 00:34:53,357
One of them is
a gentleman named Fabian.
874
00:34:53,357 --> 00:34:55,960
The other, a lawyer,
l.a. Schwartz.
875
00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:58,996
Are they connected
to beulah's affairs?
876
00:34:59,430 --> 00:35:02,466
They are not connected
with miss page.
877
00:35:02,466 --> 00:35:04,635
They are connected
to her affairs, yes.
878
00:35:05,069 --> 00:35:06,804
Well, then,
i'm going to stay.
879
00:35:06,804 --> 00:35:08,105
Her interests are soon
to be my interests,
880
00:35:08,105 --> 00:35:09,840
and i, uh, i want to
see that they're protected.
881
00:35:10,274 --> 00:35:11,575
No, i, i don't
want him.
882
00:35:11,575 --> 00:35:13,744
Miss page, your name
will not appear
883
00:35:13,744 --> 00:35:15,046
in the conversation.
884
00:35:15,046 --> 00:35:18,949
So there's no reason why
morton should not stay
885
00:35:19,383 --> 00:35:21,118
if he feels compelled to.
886
00:35:28,492 --> 00:35:30,661
(ringing doorbell)
887
00:35:35,433 --> 00:35:37,503
Well, i, uh, see you've
fortified your courage.
888
00:35:37,503 --> 00:35:39,770
Come on in.
889
00:35:44,975 --> 00:35:46,277
Ah, mr. Fabian.
890
00:35:46,277 --> 00:35:47,578
I presume you two
know each other.
891
00:35:47,578 --> 00:35:48,879
Yeah, yeah.
892
00:35:49,313 --> 00:35:51,482
You're perrit's shyster,
which way?
893
00:35:51,482 --> 00:35:53,651
Mr. Fabian,
good afternoon.
894
00:35:53,651 --> 00:35:55,820
I'm Nero Wolfe,
how do you do?
895
00:35:55,820 --> 00:35:58,856
Mr. Schwartz, you may
go to the office
896
00:35:58,856 --> 00:36:00,157
and make
yourself comfortable.
897
00:36:00,591 --> 00:36:02,760
We'll be there shortly.
898
00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:06,664
It is part of legend that
you go nowhere unarmed.
899
00:36:07,098 --> 00:36:08,399
Are you armed now?
900
00:36:08,399 --> 00:36:10,568
Yeah, any objections?
901
00:36:10,568 --> 00:36:11,869
Not at all.
902
00:36:11,869 --> 00:36:14,038
Come, sit in
my office.
903
00:36:21,412 --> 00:36:23,581
I must apologize, sir,
first for appropriating
904
00:36:23,581 --> 00:36:25,316
a few moments
of your time.
905
00:36:25,750 --> 00:36:27,485
And, uh, you have, no doubt,
come here to avenge
906
00:36:27,918 --> 00:36:29,653
the death of
your employer.
907
00:36:29,653 --> 00:36:31,822
Now, you should have
first say in what...
908
00:36:31,822 --> 00:36:34,859
(Fritz)
No, no... Archie, Archie!
909
00:36:34,859 --> 00:36:36,594
You better
lift 'em.
910
00:36:36,594 --> 00:36:37,895
(thumbs)
Not here, not now.
911
00:36:37,895 --> 00:36:39,196
Who gave you
the steer?
912
00:36:39,196 --> 00:36:40,064
Nobody.
913
00:36:40,064 --> 00:36:41,365
I am here on business.
914
00:36:41,727 --> 00:36:42,666
Lift 'em up!
915
00:36:42,666 --> 00:36:43,534
Tommyrot!
916
00:36:43,968 --> 00:36:45,269
This is
preposterous!
917
00:36:45,703 --> 00:36:47,004
I mean, besides, you two,
918
00:36:47,004 --> 00:36:48,739
there are five people
here in this room.
919
00:36:48,739 --> 00:36:50,040
Now, if you
shoot him, mr. Fabian,
920
00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:51,342
what do you expect
to do?
921
00:36:51,342 --> 00:36:52,643
Shoot all of us?
922
00:36:52,643 --> 00:36:53,944
Nonsense!
923
00:36:53,944 --> 00:36:55,679
And who the devil
are you?
924
00:36:55,679 --> 00:36:56,547
What are you
doing here?
925
00:36:56,547 --> 00:36:59,150
How dare you barge into
my home like this!
926
00:36:59,150 --> 00:37:01,752
That's thumbs Meeker, sir.
927
00:37:01,752 --> 00:37:03,053
Since the death
of your client,
928
00:37:03,053 --> 00:37:05,656
he is also
known as the mob boss.
929
00:37:05,656 --> 00:37:07,391
Okay, i thought to myself,
930
00:37:07,391 --> 00:37:09,560
before i die, at least i get
to hear Nero Wolfe
931
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:12,596
bawling out thumbs Meeker
for barging in unannounced.
932
00:37:13,030 --> 00:37:15,633
Well, confound it,
what do you want?
933
00:37:16,066 --> 00:37:19,103
It's bad policy to allow
a civilian to get away
934
00:37:19,103 --> 00:37:21,705
with assassinating a boss.
935
00:37:21,705 --> 00:37:24,742
It makes for a...
bad mood.
936
00:37:24,742 --> 00:37:27,344
And you think
i killed dazy perrit?
937
00:37:27,344 --> 00:37:29,079
Am i a half-wit?
938
00:37:29,079 --> 00:37:31,682
Your man was
with violet... pow.
939
00:37:31,682 --> 00:37:34,285
Then he's with
perrit... pow.
940
00:37:34,285 --> 00:37:36,887
And it is known that perrit
put you in charge of a bundle,
941
00:37:36,887 --> 00:37:39,056
so what else can
i think of?
942
00:37:39,056 --> 00:37:40,357
Mr. Meeker, now that
you're here,
943
00:37:40,357 --> 00:37:42,092
i suggest that you stay.
944
00:37:42,092 --> 00:37:44,695
When you entered, i was
about to tell these people
945
00:37:44,695 --> 00:37:58,142
who killed mr. Perrit
and his daughter.
946
00:37:58,142 --> 00:38:00,744
Now, first, the police
know that the young woman
947
00:38:00,744 --> 00:38:03,347
who was killed last night
was not his daughter.
948
00:38:03,347 --> 00:38:04,648
Go slow.
949
00:38:04,648 --> 00:38:05,950
If you please, sir,
950
00:38:05,950 --> 00:38:08,986
no power on earth will keep me
from telling this properly.
951
00:38:08,986 --> 00:38:12,022
What they do not know is
that he actually has a daughter.
952
00:38:12,022 --> 00:38:14,191
I know who she is and i know
where she is right now...
953
00:38:14,191 --> 00:38:15,493
she's upstairs
looking at my orchids.
954
00:38:15,493 --> 00:38:16,794
That's a lie.
955
00:38:16,794 --> 00:38:18,095
She doesn't think so.
956
00:38:18,529 --> 00:38:22,433
Mr. Perrit entrusted her
interests to me
957
00:38:22,433 --> 00:38:25,035
and i intend to guard them.
958
00:38:25,035 --> 00:38:27,638
Mr. Perrit was keeping
her identity concealed.
959
00:38:27,638 --> 00:38:29,373
And when you tried
to find her, mr. Meeker,
960
00:38:29,807 --> 00:38:31,976
d for a young woman
and when you tried to from salt lake cityr, ange
961
00:38:31,976 --> 00:38:33,277
to come to new york city
962
00:38:33,277 --> 00:38:35,012
and live with him
as his daughter.
963
00:38:35,012 --> 00:38:35,880
Go slow!
964
00:38:36,313 --> 00:38:37,615
Nonsense, sir!
965
00:38:37,615 --> 00:38:39,783
But, after six months,
she violated their agreement
966
00:38:39,783 --> 00:38:41,519
and began blackmailing him
967
00:38:41,519 --> 00:38:43,687
with the threat that
she would disclose
968
00:38:43,687 --> 00:38:45,422
the truth if he didn't pay.
969
00:38:45,422 --> 00:38:47,157
He paid.
970
00:38:47,157 --> 00:38:50,628
He paid, not once,
but five times.
971
00:38:51,061 --> 00:38:55,399
Harassed beyond endurance,
dazy perrit came to me for help.
972
00:38:55,833 --> 00:38:58,002
He told me many things.
973
00:38:58,435 --> 00:39:01,038
But he did not tell me that
the young woman he'd hired
974
00:39:01,038 --> 00:39:03,641
to play his
daughter had an attachment
975
00:39:03,641 --> 00:39:06,677
to a young man from
salt lake city.
976
00:39:06,677 --> 00:39:08,412
That he had come
to new york city
977
00:39:08,412 --> 00:39:10,147
maybe surmised
from the fact that
978
00:39:10,581 --> 00:39:12,316
miss murphy began
demanding money
979
00:39:12,316 --> 00:39:14,051
(Nero)
From mr. Perrit.
980
00:39:14,051 --> 00:39:15,786
From her the young man
learned the identity
981
00:39:15,786 --> 00:39:17,521
of mr. Perrit's real daughter,
982
00:39:17,521 --> 00:39:19,690
and he calculated that his
highest expectations,
983
00:39:19,690 --> 00:39:20,991
in the long run,
984
00:39:20,991 --> 00:39:22,726
would be realized
through the real daughter
985
00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:24,461
and not the counterfeit one.
986
00:39:24,461 --> 00:39:26,196
So, he masqueraded
as a law student
987
00:39:26,630 --> 00:39:27,498
named morton Schane...
988
00:39:27,498 --> 00:39:28,799
that's a lie!
989
00:39:29,233 --> 00:39:30,968
That's an utter lie,
and i'll sue you for slander.
990
00:39:31,402 --> 00:39:32,703
Soon as i've passed
the bar, i'll file...
991
00:39:32,703 --> 00:39:34,438
really?
992
00:39:34,438 --> 00:39:37,041
And when you do so,
will you write a tort
993
00:39:37,041 --> 00:39:38,342
to go along with it?
994
00:39:38,342 --> 00:39:39,209
What?
995
00:39:39,209 --> 00:39:40,077
What have you
got on him?
996
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:44,848
And i asked you if you had
learne
997
00:39:45,282 --> 00:39:46,584
and you said you had.
998
00:39:46,584 --> 00:39:48,752
A tort is a crime,
it's not a document.
999
00:39:48,752 --> 00:39:50,487
Any law student would
know that.
1000
00:39:50,487 --> 00:39:52,222
This is ridiculous!
1001
00:39:52,222 --> 00:39:53,524
How can you
sit there and say...
1002
00:39:53,524 --> 00:39:55,259
the real question
is, why?
1003
00:39:55,259 --> 00:39:59,597
Why did you shoot and kill
miss murphy and mr. Perrit?
1004
00:39:59,597 --> 00:40:02,199
Merely to get
them out of the way
1005
00:40:02,633 --> 00:40:05,235
since the real daughter was
now betrothed to you?
1006
00:40:05,235 --> 00:40:06,537
Possibly.
1007
00:40:06,537 --> 00:40:08,272
But more probably
you had become aware
1008
00:40:08,272 --> 00:40:10,441
that dazy perrit was
on to you.
1009
00:40:10,441 --> 00:40:13,477
You'll eat all this, you fat,
lying son of a bitch!
1010
00:40:13,477 --> 00:40:14,345
I'm going.
1011
00:40:14,778 --> 00:40:15,646
You got
anything else?
1012
00:40:15,646 --> 00:40:16,513
Yes.
1013
00:40:16,947 --> 00:40:19,984
Because he was clearly not
who he claimed to be,
1014
00:40:19,984 --> 00:40:22,152
i had my chef save
his wine glass... saul?
1015
00:40:22,586 --> 00:40:25,189
And i confirmed, through
the f.b.i.,
1016
00:40:25,189 --> 00:40:27,358
mr. Schane's
criminal association
1017
00:40:27,358 --> 00:40:30,394
with angelina murphy
in salt lake.
1018
00:40:30,394 --> 00:40:33,864
(shooting)
1019
00:40:47,745 --> 00:40:49,480
"The district attorney
has decided
1020
00:40:49,913 --> 00:40:52,082
"not to charge
Meeker or Fabian,
1021
00:40:52,082 --> 00:40:55,986
because all the witnesses said
that Schane shot first."
1022
00:40:55,986 --> 00:40:58,589
Yes... plus,
saul's bullet is the one
1023
00:40:58,589 --> 00:41:02,493
that lodged in
Schane's pump.
1024
00:41:02,493 --> 00:41:04,228
I like it.
1025
00:41:04,662 --> 00:41:08,132
But i would also like to
make it clear that, uh,
1026
00:41:08,132 --> 00:41:10,300
i know the reason why
you had schwartz here.
1027
00:41:10,300 --> 00:41:11,602
And you know what that
reason is?
1028
00:41:11,602 --> 00:41:13,337
You wanted a witness here
1029
00:41:13,337 --> 00:41:14,638
so that you would
not be charged
1030
00:41:14,638 --> 00:41:15,939
with incitement to crime.
1031
00:41:15,939 --> 00:41:16,807
Shut up.
1032
00:41:16,807 --> 00:41:18,108
Yes, sir, in about
an hour or so.
1033
00:41:18,108 --> 00:41:19,410
I'm trying
to read.
1034
00:41:19,410 --> 00:41:20,711
When Schane
forced his way in,
1035
00:41:21,145 --> 00:41:22,446
you began ad-libbing.
1036
00:41:22,446 --> 00:41:25,916
You figured that with Fabian,
saul and me here,
1037
00:41:25,916 --> 00:41:28,519
we'd plug him before he
had a chance to plug you,
1038
00:41:28,519 --> 00:41:29,386
that's what you figured.
1039
00:41:29,820 --> 00:41:31,555
I suppose you have to
get this out of your system.
1040
00:41:31,555 --> 00:41:33,290
Yes, yes, i do, i do.
1041
00:41:33,290 --> 00:41:34,591
But i'd like to
be fair, too.
1042
00:41:34,591 --> 00:41:36,326
I got one on me.
1043
00:41:36,326 --> 00:41:37,628
We have had
a delivery.
1044
00:41:37,628 --> 00:41:38,929
Yep, i got one
on me too.
1045
00:41:38,929 --> 00:41:39,797
And you want to
know what it is?
1046
00:41:40,230 --> 00:41:41,965
You remember i told you
that when violet
1047
00:41:41,965 --> 00:41:44,134
was just
about to quit there,
1048
00:41:44,134 --> 00:41:45,436
she struggled to get out,
1049
00:41:45,436 --> 00:41:47,604
"it's a shame,
it's a shame."
1050
00:41:47,604 --> 00:41:48,906
Ha!
1051
00:41:48,906 --> 00:41:51,508
No, i mean, what she really
was saying, of course, was,
1052
00:41:51,508 --> 00:41:54,545
"it's Schane,
it's Schane."
1053
00:41:54,545 --> 00:41:58,015
Yes, so...
dropped that one.
1054
00:41:58,449 --> 00:42:01,051
Yeah, hereafter, i will
wash my ears better.
1055
00:42:01,051 --> 00:42:03,220
Yes, you should wash
your ears better.
1056
00:42:03,654 --> 00:42:04,521
Yes.
1057
00:42:04,521 --> 00:42:06,690
My ears will
be washed better.
1058
00:42:16,667 --> 00:42:17,968
No!
1059
00:42:17,968 --> 00:42:20,571
(ringing phone)
1060
00:42:26,210 --> 00:42:27,511
Nero Wolfe's office.
1061
00:42:27,945 --> 00:42:30,114
Yes, may i please speak
to mr. Harold stevens?
1062
00:42:30,114 --> 00:42:31,415
Ah, will anyone else do?
1063
00:42:31,849 --> 00:42:32,716
You might.
1064
00:42:32,716 --> 00:42:34,017
You see, i was
trying to decide
1065
00:42:34,017 --> 00:42:36,186
where to go to dinner,
and l...
1066
00:42:36,186 --> 00:42:37,054
well, don't
say another word.
1067
00:42:37,488 --> 00:42:40,524
Meet me at "riberio's"
at 7:00, 52nd street.
1068
00:42:40,524 --> 00:42:41,825
You got that?
1069
00:42:41,825 --> 00:42:43,560
Sure.
1070
00:42:45,729 --> 00:42:47,898
I am having dinner
with your ward.
1071
00:42:47,898 --> 00:42:49,199
But don't
jump to the conclusion
1072
00:42:49,199 --> 00:42:50,501
that i'm thinking
of marrying her.
1073
00:42:50,501 --> 00:42:52,669
I wouldn't want you to
send Fabian or thumbs Meeker
1074
00:42:53,103 --> 00:42:55,706
do my
account, becau...
1075
00:42:55,706 --> 00:42:57,875
it is lamb chops.
1076
00:42:57,875 --> 00:43:00,043
Mm, lamb chops.
1077
00:43:00,043 --> 00:43:00,911
Good god,
lamb chops.
1078
00:43:01,345 --> 00:43:04,815
Well, happy days
are here again.
1079
00:43:04,815 --> 00:43:07,417
Yes, enjoy your
spaghetti.
1080
00:43:07,417 --> 00:43:10,020
We shall rub them...
1081
00:43:13,490 --> 00:43:16,093
no, no,
1082
00:43:16,093 --> 00:43:17,828
rosemary!
1083
00:43:17,828 --> 00:43:19,997
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
1084
00:43:20,430 --> 00:43:21,298
Thyme!
1085
00:43:21,298 --> 00:43:22,166
No, no,
no, no.
1086
00:43:22,166 --> 00:43:23,467
Mustard...
1087
00:43:23,467 --> 00:43:26,503
yes, mustard,
olive oil, ginger.
1088
00:43:26,503 --> 00:43:27,805
Yes.
1089
00:43:27,805 --> 00:43:29,973
And thyme!
And thyme, yes!
1090
00:43:39,950 --> 00:43:42,986
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1091
00:43:43,420 --> 00:43:46,456
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1092
00:43:47,305 --> 00:43:53,891
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1093
00:43:53,941 --> 00:43:58,491
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