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1
00:00:02,956 --> 00:00:06,226
How about my son tells me all
about his latest accomplishment?
2
00:00:06,229 --> 00:00:08,503
Well, I saved yet another
man's life the other day...
3
00:00:08,506 --> 00:00:10,699
Bup, bup, bup! One at a time. Josh?
4
00:00:11,644 --> 00:00:13,712
Tell us about that part you got offered.
5
00:00:13,715 --> 00:00:16,109
Oh, God, it was nothing,
just a stupid commercial.
6
00:00:16,112 --> 00:00:18,203
Oh, if it's the one
with the talking duck,
7
00:00:18,206 --> 00:00:20,094
I'll die a happy man.
8
00:00:20,097 --> 00:00:24,834
It's not. It's for a
diarrhea medication.
9
00:00:24,837 --> 00:00:28,567
Please take it. I ask
you for so very little.
10
00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:30,839
I am obviously not taking it.
11
00:00:30,842 --> 00:00:34,601
No, I haven't worked in a while,
but things are not diarrhea bad.
12
00:00:34,604 --> 00:00:37,237
You know, I just read that Mark Ruffalo
13
00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:39,562
dropped out of a play called
All Together Now.
14
00:00:39,565 --> 00:00:40,995
They're looking for a replacement.
15
00:00:40,998 --> 00:00:42,897
You should do it. It's on Broadway.
16
00:00:42,900 --> 00:00:45,368
The prime rib of theater.
17
00:00:45,371 --> 00:00:46,804
Mom, just 'cause Mark Ruffalo's out
18
00:00:46,807 --> 00:00:48,639
doesn't mean they're
gonna give me the part.
19
00:00:48,642 --> 00:00:51,166
Oh, if you were on Broadway,
20
00:00:51,169 --> 00:00:53,369
that would shut up that Evelyn Thomas.
21
00:00:53,372 --> 00:00:55,398
Ugh, always bragging about her son
22
00:00:55,401 --> 00:00:58,142
and his global orphanage program.
23
00:00:58,145 --> 00:01:02,562
Mom, Craig Thomas was nominated
for a Nobel Peace Prize.
24
00:01:02,565 --> 00:01:06,441
Oh, Andrew, you sound
just like his mother.
25
00:01:06,444 --> 00:01:08,144
Come on, Andrew, Wyatt's asleep,
26
00:01:08,147 --> 00:01:09,314
and I'm ready to watch.
27
00:01:09,317 --> 00:01:10,349
What are you two watching?
28
00:01:10,351 --> 00:01:11,751
Oh, it's this amazing
29
00:01:11,754 --> 00:01:13,019
new reality show called
30
00:01:13,022 --> 00:01:14,507
We All Live in a Barn.
31
00:01:14,510 --> 00:01:16,278
They have farm-related competitions
32
00:01:16,281 --> 00:01:19,308
and then vote to see who
gets "put out to pasture."
33
00:01:19,311 --> 00:01:20,848
Yeah, it's like Big Brother,
34
00:01:20,851 --> 00:01:23,449
- but easier to follow and more hay.
- Yeah.
35
00:01:23,452 --> 00:01:24,629
BOTH: Hey!
36
00:01:24,632 --> 00:01:26,488
- Something we do.
- That's something we do when we watch the show.
37
00:01:26,490 --> 00:01:27,172
Oh.
38
00:01:27,175 --> 00:01:28,342
No, no, we understand,
39
00:01:28,345 --> 00:01:29,858
it's just, you're both doctors.
40
00:01:29,861 --> 00:01:31,394
It does sound a little bit...
41
00:01:31,397 --> 00:01:33,497
Completely stupid.
42
00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:36,078
It's a study of human behavior.
43
00:01:36,081 --> 00:01:39,570
Yeah, plus, sometimes they
have to wrestle in pig slop.
44
00:01:39,573 --> 00:01:41,585
BOTH: Sloppy seconds!
45
00:01:41,588 --> 00:01:43,033
- It's the thing...
- That's another thing we do when we...
46
00:01:43,035 --> 00:01:44,882
I see. Well, bye!
47
00:01:44,885 --> 00:01:47,553
That's something I do when
I want people to leave.
48
00:01:47,556 --> 00:01:49,103
Ooh, all right.
49
00:01:49,106 --> 00:01:50,840
[UPBEAT BANJO MELODY PLAYING]
50
00:01:50,843 --> 00:01:52,843
God, my family ruins everything.
51
00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:54,145
[MUSIC STOPS]
52
00:01:54,148 --> 00:01:55,861
I think maybe we should do something
53
00:01:55,864 --> 00:01:57,430
a little more productive with our time.
54
00:01:57,433 --> 00:01:59,534
Yeah, you're right. I mean...
55
00:01:59,537 --> 00:02:02,708
between the two of us, there's
16 years of higher education.
56
00:02:02,711 --> 00:02:04,263
Maybe we should, like,
57
00:02:04,266 --> 00:02:07,541
get our PhDs or become
docents at a museum.
58
00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:09,646
Or we could start small.
59
00:02:09,649 --> 00:02:11,913
Like, read a book and then discuss it.
60
00:02:11,916 --> 00:02:14,404
A book does sound more doable.
61
00:02:14,407 --> 00:02:17,753
Plus, I'm not entirely
sure what a docent even is.
62
00:02:17,756 --> 00:02:20,791
Someone at the office was talking
about The Infinite Wave.
63
00:02:20,794 --> 00:02:22,711
It won all sorts of fancy book awards.
64
00:02:22,714 --> 00:02:24,306
Oh, that's the one
they're making into a movie
65
00:02:24,308 --> 00:02:25,308
- with Keira Knightley.
- Yes.
66
00:02:25,310 --> 00:02:26,477
She's in all the smart ones.
67
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:27,899
- Okay, cool.
- Yeah.
68
00:02:27,902 --> 00:02:30,267
So we'll have our own
personal book club,
69
00:02:30,270 --> 00:02:32,804
like a young, sophisticated
married couple.
70
00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:36,066
BOTH: Book club!
71
00:02:38,287 --> 00:02:40,465
God, my family really
does ruin everything.
72
00:02:47,598 --> 00:02:49,786
Josh Daniel Roberts, is that you?!
73
00:02:49,789 --> 00:02:50,822
Oh, God.
74
00:02:50,825 --> 00:02:52,390
It's me, Patty Partridge.
75
00:02:52,393 --> 00:02:53,689
- Remember?
- Yeah, I do.
76
00:02:53,692 --> 00:02:55,409
It's hard to forget your stalker.
77
00:02:55,412 --> 00:02:57,213
Number one fan. [LAUGHS]
78
00:02:57,216 --> 00:02:58,812
Oh, boy.
79
00:02:58,815 --> 00:03:01,288
Hey, we sure had some fun
back in L.A., didn't we?
80
00:03:01,291 --> 00:03:03,085
Yeah, I miss our fun little game of
81
00:03:03,088 --> 00:03:04,920
"hide and file a restraining order."
82
00:03:04,923 --> 00:03:07,157
[LAUGHS] Well, look at you.
83
00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:10,052
Look at you. You have not
aged one day. Look at that.
84
00:03:10,055 --> 00:03:11,629
- Look at that.
- [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
85
00:03:11,632 --> 00:03:13,464
- Look at that!
- Yeah. It's cool. It's cool.
86
00:03:13,467 --> 00:03:15,435
Well, I'm gonna go.
Please don't follow me.
87
00:03:15,438 --> 00:03:16,687
Oh, Josh, Josh,
88
00:03:16,690 --> 00:03:18,689
you don't think I'm still
stalking you, do you?
89
00:03:18,692 --> 00:03:19,759
Well, you live in L.A.
90
00:03:19,762 --> 00:03:21,664
and have my face permanently
inked on your body,
91
00:03:21,667 --> 00:03:22,933
so a guy has to wonder.
92
00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:24,992
Oh. Honey, well, don't you worry
93
00:03:24,995 --> 00:03:26,195
your handsome little body
94
00:03:26,198 --> 00:03:28,065
and size eleven and a half feet,
95
00:03:28,068 --> 00:03:30,736
because I didn't come to
New York for you, okay?
96
00:03:30,739 --> 00:03:31,914
This is just a coincidence.
97
00:03:31,917 --> 00:03:33,699
Yeah, okay. I believe you. Bye-bye.
98
00:03:33,702 --> 00:03:36,069
No, no, no, Josh, really,
really. I've moved on.
99
00:03:36,072 --> 00:03:37,806
You won't see me again.
100
00:03:37,809 --> 00:03:40,954
Well, unless you come in
for a coffee at Beans-nanza.
101
00:03:40,964 --> 00:03:43,452
In that case, see you never.
102
00:03:43,455 --> 00:03:45,389
- Okay.
- You were going that way.
103
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,000
Oh, sorry, habit.
104
00:03:47,003 --> 00:03:48,339
[LAUGHS]
105
00:03:51,236 --> 00:03:56,320
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
106
00:04:03,759 --> 00:04:06,192
Nick.
107
00:04:06,195 --> 00:04:08,779
This is my stalker. Do not
let her in the building.
108
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:10,957
You have a stalker?
109
00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:13,224
Josh, she looks like
the picture of the lady
110
00:04:13,226 --> 00:04:14,691
that comes with the frame.
111
00:04:14,693 --> 00:04:16,761
I am telling you, she
is obsessed with me
112
00:04:16,763 --> 00:04:18,202
and very determined.
113
00:04:18,205 --> 00:04:20,096
Back in L.A., it was a real problem.
114
00:04:20,099 --> 00:04:21,788
Ah!
115
00:04:28,642 --> 00:04:29,843
Ahh...
116
00:04:32,378 --> 00:04:33,977
Oh, thank you.
117
00:04:33,979 --> 00:04:34,982
[SCREAMS]
118
00:04:36,383 --> 00:04:38,715
- In your closet?
- Uh-huh.
119
00:04:38,717 --> 00:04:41,119
That is a man's private sanctuary.
120
00:04:41,121 --> 00:04:42,720
Look, don't you worry, Josh.
121
00:04:42,722 --> 00:04:44,848
No creepy stalker lady's
getting by on my watch.
122
00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:45,596
Thank you.
123
00:04:45,599 --> 00:04:46,965
I just don't get it.
124
00:04:46,968 --> 00:04:48,741
She could stalk anyone in the world.
125
00:04:48,744 --> 00:04:49,709
Okay, you know what...
126
00:04:49,712 --> 00:04:51,613
All right, man. Don't
listen to him, baby boo,
127
00:04:51,616 --> 00:04:54,645
if I was a crazy lady who loved
short dudes in bad cop shows,
128
00:04:54,648 --> 00:04:56,867
I'd stalk the crap out of you.
129
00:04:56,869 --> 00:04:58,765
Thank you.
130
00:05:01,019 --> 00:05:03,921
ANDREW: "Francisco walked
across the footbridg,
131
00:05:03,924 --> 00:05:06,824
bracing as the frost of winter hit his cheeks"
132
00:05:06,827 --> 00:05:09,946
We should go skiing this winter.
133
00:05:09,948 --> 00:05:13,123
I could grow a beard.
134
00:05:13,126 --> 00:05:16,460
"Francisco walked across the
footbridge, bracing as the... "
135
00:05:16,463 --> 00:05:18,689
Can a surgeon have a beard?
136
00:05:18,691 --> 00:05:20,992
None of the other surgeons do.
137
00:05:20,994 --> 00:05:23,960
No, no, Steve has one.
138
00:05:23,962 --> 00:05:25,814
Susan does, too.
139
00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:31,407
"Francisco walked across..."
God, I hate this book.
140
00:05:33,747 --> 00:05:35,613
How is Eve so into i?
141
00:05:35,615 --> 00:05:39,651
EVE: Kill me, kill me, kill me!
142
00:05:39,653 --> 00:05:41,377
You know what?
143
00:05:41,380 --> 00:05:43,788
I'm just gonna tell
Andrew I can't do this.
144
00:05:43,790 --> 00:05:47,592
Hmm... But we're supposed
to be doing this together,
145
00:05:47,594 --> 00:05:49,014
and he's loving it.
146
00:05:49,017 --> 00:05:50,877
ANDREW: Maybe just a mustache.
147
00:05:56,046 --> 00:05:57,647
This is nice.
148
00:05:57,650 --> 00:06:00,404
So nice, book buddy.
149
00:06:00,406 --> 00:06:01,472
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
150
00:06:01,474 --> 00:06:03,743
[BOTH SIGH]
151
00:06:13,752 --> 00:06:16,197
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]
152
00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:17,994
I didn't make popcorn.
153
00:06:33,139 --> 00:06:34,140
Ah!
154
00:06:42,931 --> 00:06:45,386
Moved on, my ass. I know what you did.
155
00:06:46,609 --> 00:06:48,443
Excuse me.
156
00:06:48,446 --> 00:06:50,522
You're gonna have to be
a little more specific
157
00:06:50,524 --> 00:06:52,056
because I have done a lot of things
158
00:06:52,059 --> 00:06:54,790
to piss off a lot of people. [CHUCKLES]
159
00:06:54,793 --> 00:06:56,394
You broke into my apartment,
160
00:06:56,396 --> 00:06:58,529
did my laundry and kissed my poster.
161
00:06:58,531 --> 00:07:02,233
Ooh, that sure sounds
like my work, doesn't it?
162
00:07:02,235 --> 00:07:04,402
But, sorry, I've been here all day.
163
00:07:04,404 --> 00:07:05,769
Yeah? Well, I don't believe you.
164
00:07:05,771 --> 00:07:07,805
Yeah? Well, you can
check with my manager.
165
00:07:07,807 --> 00:07:09,707
I can give you his digits, his address,
166
00:07:09,709 --> 00:07:11,409
or his Social Security number.
167
00:07:11,411 --> 00:07:14,579
So it's just a coincidence
that I run into you,
168
00:07:14,581 --> 00:07:16,281
and then someone was in my apartment
169
00:07:16,283 --> 00:07:17,916
doing the things that you used to do?
170
00:07:17,918 --> 00:07:20,551
Listen, Josh, I don't know
what to tell you, okay?
171
00:07:20,553 --> 00:07:23,820
But like I said in the park,
I've moved on to another actor.
172
00:07:23,822 --> 00:07:27,791
Oh, yeah? Okay. Who?
173
00:07:27,793 --> 00:07:30,695
Ken Brunt. [LAUGHS]
174
00:07:30,697 --> 00:07:32,830
Don't we make a cute couple?
175
00:07:32,832 --> 00:07:36,158
Oh, uh, well, then I stand corrected.
176
00:07:36,161 --> 00:07:38,193
I'm, uh, I'm sorry about that.
177
00:07:38,196 --> 00:07:40,066
I guess you're Ken Brunt's problem now.
178
00:07:45,545 --> 00:07:47,411
Ken Brunt, though? Really?
179
00:07:47,413 --> 00:07:48,880
I mean, he's, like, a poor man's me.
180
00:07:48,882 --> 00:07:50,741
Oh, on the contrary.
181
00:07:50,744 --> 00:07:53,663
Ooh, I could just suck his
soul right out of his body,
182
00:07:53,666 --> 00:07:55,620
chew it up, and then
spit it back in his mouth
183
00:07:55,622 --> 00:07:57,150
like a mama bird feeding her young.
184
00:07:57,153 --> 00:07:58,421
[LAUGHS]
185
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,993
Okay, well, good luck with that.
186
00:08:01,995 --> 00:08:03,416
Thank you.
187
00:08:14,776 --> 00:08:17,510
I am too reading!
188
00:08:17,512 --> 00:08:20,447
Oh, hi, Harry. It's just you.
189
00:08:20,449 --> 00:08:22,117
I get that a lot.
190
00:08:22,704 --> 00:08:25,080
Would you like a
melon? There was a sale.
191
00:08:25,083 --> 00:08:26,149
No, thank you.
192
00:08:26,152 --> 00:08:27,908
It's about as ripe as they get,
193
00:08:27,911 --> 00:08:29,145
and you can't find...
194
00:08:29,148 --> 00:08:31,047
Okay, thank you, thank you.
195
00:08:31,050 --> 00:08:32,216
Ooh!
196
00:08:32,219 --> 00:08:35,520
Ooh! I love The Infinite Wave!
197
00:08:35,523 --> 00:08:37,256
Have you gotten to the part
198
00:08:37,259 --> 00:08:40,502
where Francisco turns 200 years old
199
00:08:40,505 --> 00:08:42,672
and sets sail across the sea?
200
00:08:42,675 --> 00:08:45,537
Oh, God, he lives for 200 years?
201
00:08:45,540 --> 00:08:46,947
And beyond that.
202
00:08:46,950 --> 00:08:51,211
Wait till you get to
chapter 52. It's in Spanish.
203
00:08:51,213 --> 00:08:54,346
So you know this book pretty well?
204
00:08:54,348 --> 00:08:58,452
Well, it made the Harry
Roberts top ten of 2017,
205
00:08:58,454 --> 00:08:59,967
but you already know that,
206
00:08:59,970 --> 00:09:02,088
- it was in my newsletter.
- Right.
207
00:09:02,090 --> 00:09:06,293
Would you mind telling
me everything about it?
208
00:09:06,295 --> 00:09:08,794
Well, my favorite part is...
209
00:09:08,796 --> 00:09:09,877
Hold that thought.
210
00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:11,379
I want to grab a pen and paper
211
00:09:11,382 --> 00:09:13,318
- for no particular reason.
- Sure.
212
00:09:20,809 --> 00:09:22,808
Did you bring the money?
213
00:09:22,810 --> 00:09:24,343
Did you read the book?
214
00:09:24,345 --> 00:09:26,301
Finished my report this morning.
215
00:09:26,304 --> 00:09:27,436
Then why are you late?
216
00:09:27,439 --> 00:09:29,384
Sorry, had a playdate.
217
00:09:34,874 --> 00:09:36,473
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
218
00:09:36,476 --> 00:09:39,053
I solved the mystery of
who was in your apartment.
219
00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:40,293
- You did?
- Yup.
220
00:09:40,295 --> 00:09:42,895
And as you know, I consider
myself a bit of a detective.
221
00:09:42,897 --> 00:09:44,331
I did not know that.
222
00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:46,115
Well, I am.
223
00:09:46,118 --> 00:09:48,819
I got something to show you.
224
00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:50,163
Check out the security footage.
225
00:09:50,166 --> 00:09:51,904
JOSH: There are cameras in the hallways?
226
00:09:51,907 --> 00:09:55,171
Mm-hmm. I've seen you
steal your dad's newspapers.
227
00:09:55,174 --> 00:09:56,610
Shame on you.
228
00:10:02,784 --> 00:10:05,918
Never send a paper bag to do
a plastic bag's job, right?
229
00:10:05,927 --> 00:10:08,631
Can we fast-forward
to the relevant part?
230
00:10:08,634 --> 00:10:11,166
Excuse me for trying
to lighten up the mood.
231
00:10:14,605 --> 00:10:16,606
- My mother, of course.
- Mm-hmm.
232
00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:20,933
JOSH: And there she is again,
233
00:10:20,935 --> 00:10:23,403
and again...
234
00:10:23,405 --> 00:10:25,408
and again.
235
00:10:26,407 --> 00:10:28,009
Your mama love you.
236
00:10:28,012 --> 00:10:29,511
Yes.
237
00:10:29,514 --> 00:10:31,150
12 times?
238
00:10:31,153 --> 00:10:32,530
You came into my apartment
239
00:10:32,533 --> 00:10:34,346
12 times in one day.
240
00:10:34,348 --> 00:10:36,383
Yeah, that adds up.
241
00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:38,860
I did my yoga.
242
00:10:38,863 --> 00:10:41,116
I made some popcorn, watched a movie.
243
00:10:41,119 --> 00:10:43,255
Did your laundry. You know, the usual.
244
00:10:43,257 --> 00:10:44,423
You kissed my poster?
245
00:10:44,425 --> 00:10:45,891
Well, sure, when you say it
246
00:10:45,893 --> 00:10:47,416
like that it sounds weird.
247
00:10:49,430 --> 00:10:51,006
Oh, and I ironed your blue shirt,
248
00:10:51,009 --> 00:10:52,566
the one that makes your eyes pop,
249
00:10:52,568 --> 00:10:55,302
so you can wear it to your audition
for All Together Now.
250
00:10:55,304 --> 00:10:57,571
I'm not auditioning for
All Together Now, Mom.
251
00:10:57,573 --> 00:11:00,273
Why, darling? You were
born to be on Broadway.
252
00:11:00,275 --> 00:11:01,942
I wanted you to be born on Broadway,
253
00:11:01,944 --> 00:11:04,577
but the hospital wouldn't let me leave.
254
00:11:04,579 --> 00:11:07,380
I'm sorry, Mom, but Broadway's just not
255
00:11:07,382 --> 00:11:08,747
where my career is at right now.
256
00:11:08,749 --> 00:11:10,250
And where might that be?
257
00:11:10,252 --> 00:11:11,654
At a diarrhea commercial.
258
00:11:12,853 --> 00:11:14,987
I mean, let's just say
the fact that my stalker
259
00:11:14,989 --> 00:11:17,256
has moved on to Ken Brunt has given me
260
00:11:17,258 --> 00:11:18,591
a bit of a reality check.
261
00:11:18,593 --> 00:11:21,794
Your stalker? Patty Partridge?
262
00:11:21,796 --> 00:11:23,197
The one and only.
263
00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,228
I mean, God, she used
to sleep in my Dumpster
264
00:11:25,231 --> 00:11:27,565
to find out what I had for breakfast.
265
00:11:27,568 --> 00:11:29,935
Now she won't even give me
a free refill at Beans-nanza.
266
00:11:29,938 --> 00:11:31,605
They have to give you a free refill.
267
00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:33,740
It's store policy.
268
00:11:33,742 --> 00:11:35,609
And who the hell is Ken Brunt?
269
00:11:35,611 --> 00:11:37,931
Exactly, Mom. Exactly.
270
00:11:40,905 --> 00:11:42,073
Hey, Patty.
271
00:11:42,947 --> 00:11:44,016
Can we talk?
272
00:11:44,018 --> 00:11:45,885
Wow, two visits in 12 hours.
273
00:11:45,887 --> 00:11:49,288
[CHUCKLES] Creepy.
274
00:11:49,290 --> 00:11:52,292
It's just... Ken Brunt?
275
00:11:52,294 --> 00:11:55,495
I mean, I've seen the guy's
work and he's, you know...
276
00:11:55,497 --> 00:11:57,429
Just kind of feels like a step down.
277
00:11:57,431 --> 00:12:01,268
Josh, let's not do this. Okay?
278
00:12:01,270 --> 00:12:03,503
I mean, Paul Rudd, sure.
279
00:12:03,505 --> 00:12:04,904
Jason Bateman, I get it.
280
00:12:04,906 --> 00:12:06,639
But Ken Brunt?
281
00:12:06,641 --> 00:12:08,475
What makes him so special?
282
00:12:08,477 --> 00:12:12,088
Well, for starters, he's got
that-that tight little ass,
283
00:12:12,091 --> 00:12:14,628
that when you slap it,
he doesn't even wake up.
284
00:12:16,685 --> 00:12:18,985
And of course his
stardom is on the rise.
285
00:12:18,987 --> 00:12:22,913
So, he's got that, he's got
that fire in his eyes, you know?
286
00:12:22,916 --> 00:12:25,859
Like, like...
287
00:12:25,861 --> 00:12:27,593
like the kind you used to have.
288
00:12:27,595 --> 00:12:29,588
You don't...
289
00:12:29,591 --> 00:12:31,931
you don't think I have
fire in my eyes anymore?
290
00:12:31,933 --> 00:12:36,369
Look, Josh, we had a
good thing, okay, but...
291
00:12:36,371 --> 00:12:39,139
it ran its course.
292
00:12:39,142 --> 00:12:40,673
Okay?
293
00:12:40,675 --> 00:12:43,942
But, hey, we'll always have
that romantic weekend getaway
294
00:12:43,944 --> 00:12:46,578
in Palm Springs with your wife.
295
00:12:46,580 --> 00:12:48,881
Wait a second, you were there?
296
00:12:48,884 --> 00:12:51,521
[LAUGHS] What an
adorable little question.
297
00:12:55,891 --> 00:12:58,024
Josh, are you okay?
298
00:12:58,026 --> 00:13:00,447
Yeah, I'm fine. Why?
299
00:13:00,450 --> 00:13:01,516
I don't know.
300
00:13:01,519 --> 00:13:04,330
You just seem kind of hurt.
301
00:13:04,333 --> 00:13:06,595
Of course I'm not hurt. [SCOFFS]
302
00:13:06,598 --> 00:13:08,533
That would make me the crazy one.
303
00:13:08,536 --> 00:13:10,384
[LAUGHS]
304
00:13:15,108 --> 00:13:17,842
Okay, Wyatt's down.
305
00:13:17,845 --> 00:13:19,479
Ready to do this?
306
00:13:19,481 --> 00:13:20,980
Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah.
307
00:13:20,982 --> 00:13:22,716
We're about to book-club so hard.
308
00:13:22,718 --> 00:13:24,351
[CHUCKLES]
309
00:13:24,353 --> 00:13:25,985
[EXHALES] So...
310
00:13:25,987 --> 00:13:27,986
- The Infinite Wave.
- Mm-hmm.
311
00:13:27,988 --> 00:13:29,021
Loved it.
312
00:13:29,023 --> 00:13:30,122
Really?
313
00:13:30,124 --> 00:13:31,158
Yeah, huh.
314
00:13:31,161 --> 00:13:32,890
Yeah, it was so derivative.
315
00:13:32,893 --> 00:13:34,491
Derivative of what?
316
00:13:34,494 --> 00:13:36,228
I'm glad you asked.
317
00:13:36,231 --> 00:13:40,601
The Japanese author Haruki
Murakami comes to mind.
318
00:13:40,604 --> 00:13:43,503
- Oh, yeah. Sure.
- Mm-hmm.
319
00:13:43,506 --> 00:13:47,105
But didn't you think that
Francisco was so romantic?
320
00:13:47,108 --> 00:13:48,772
No, he was selfish.
321
00:13:48,775 --> 00:13:50,777
I mean, he fed his
ship captain to a whale.
322
00:13:50,779 --> 00:13:52,144
No, the whale was a metaphor.
323
00:13:52,146 --> 00:13:53,145
It was symbolic.
324
00:13:53,147 --> 00:13:54,514
Of what?
325
00:13:54,516 --> 00:13:57,772
Of...
326
00:13:57,775 --> 00:13:59,343
I got to pee. I'll be right back.
327
00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:04,157
Harry, what does the whale symbolize?
328
00:14:04,159 --> 00:14:07,760
Ah, you made it to page seven.
329
00:14:07,762 --> 00:14:10,303
The whale, Harry, the whale.
330
00:14:10,306 --> 00:14:13,898
Okay, the whale symbolizes...
331
00:14:13,901 --> 00:14:16,068
man's own desire to self-destruct.
332
00:14:16,070 --> 00:14:19,319
Hmm, hmm. Yeah, I didn't
see it that way at all.
333
00:14:19,322 --> 00:14:20,491
How'd you see it?
334
00:14:23,811 --> 00:14:25,511
Oh.
335
00:14:25,513 --> 00:14:26,772
Oh, dear.
336
00:14:26,775 --> 00:14:28,217
That's the hospital.
337
00:14:28,220 --> 00:14:30,045
I'm gonna step into the hall
338
00:14:30,048 --> 00:14:32,663
because of doctor/patient
confidentiality
339
00:14:32,666 --> 00:14:35,433
and for no other reason.
340
00:14:35,436 --> 00:14:37,670
You didn't say anything
about whale symbolism.
341
00:14:37,673 --> 00:14:38,788
Yes, I did.
342
00:14:38,791 --> 00:14:40,527
It was in my report.
343
00:14:40,529 --> 00:14:42,861
Wait, you didn't even finish that?
344
00:14:42,863 --> 00:14:45,532
The Internet has ruined
my attention span.
345
00:14:45,534 --> 00:14:46,966
Just tell me what it means.
346
00:14:46,968 --> 00:14:50,202
The whale wasn't symbolic,
it was just hungry.
347
00:14:50,204 --> 00:14:51,850
How is your patient?
348
00:14:51,853 --> 00:14:52,795
What?
349
00:14:52,798 --> 00:14:54,913
Oh, um, uh, dead.
350
00:14:58,679 --> 00:15:02,080
Well, I guess we agree to disagree.
351
00:15:02,083 --> 00:15:05,918
But that was a very spirited
352
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:08,788
and challenging three hours, so, uh...
353
00:15:08,791 --> 00:15:11,233
So, mission accomplished.
354
00:15:11,236 --> 00:15:13,436
- Hey.
- I feel smart and fulfilled.
355
00:15:13,439 --> 00:15:15,760
- [CHUCKLES] Me, too.
- [CHUCKLES] Okay.
356
00:15:15,763 --> 00:15:17,499
[BOTH SIGH]
357
00:15:17,502 --> 00:15:20,532
So, uh, is this something that you'd be
358
00:15:20,535 --> 00:15:23,236
interested in doing again?
359
00:15:23,238 --> 00:15:25,938
Please say no, please
say no, please say no.
360
00:15:25,940 --> 00:15:29,100
Is it something you'd
be interested in doing again?
361
00:15:29,103 --> 00:15:31,943
Please say no, please
say no, please say no.
362
00:15:31,946 --> 00:15:33,712
Sure.
363
00:15:33,714 --> 00:15:35,545
Cool.
364
00:15:35,548 --> 00:15:38,249
I guess we should pick our next book.
365
00:15:38,252 --> 00:15:41,120
That would be the logical next step.
366
00:15:41,122 --> 00:15:43,319
Should we read the sequel?
367
00:15:43,322 --> 00:15:45,819
It's... longer.
368
00:15:45,822 --> 00:15:47,522
Okay.
369
00:15:47,525 --> 00:15:49,139
Great. So, great.
370
00:15:49,142 --> 00:15:51,514
I'm gonna order us two copies.
371
00:15:56,682 --> 00:15:57,980
I'm sorry.
372
00:15:57,983 --> 00:15:59,683
I can't do this.
373
00:15:59,686 --> 00:16:03,170
Ugh. I know you wanted
to do something meaningful
374
00:16:03,173 --> 00:16:06,416
and smart together, but I miss TV.
375
00:16:06,419 --> 00:16:07,631
Me, too!
376
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:09,616
Andrew, I have a confession to make.
377
00:16:09,619 --> 00:16:12,353
- I did not read that book.
- [LAUGHS] Me, neither.
378
00:16:12,356 --> 00:16:15,657
- You didn't?
- No! I paid Ian $40 for a book report.
379
00:16:15,660 --> 00:16:17,561
[LAUGHS] I tricked your dad
380
00:16:17,564 --> 00:16:19,264
into telling me everything about it.
381
00:16:19,267 --> 00:16:21,734
[LAUGHS] I am just so
tired at the end of the day.
382
00:16:21,737 --> 00:16:22,836
I don't want homework.
383
00:16:22,839 --> 00:16:23,944
Oh, me, neither.
384
00:16:23,947 --> 00:16:26,772
I just want to watch people
ten years younger than me
385
00:16:26,775 --> 00:16:31,278
do stupid competitions and
have sex in a chicken coop.
386
00:16:31,281 --> 00:16:33,756
I want the exact same thing.
387
00:16:33,759 --> 00:16:36,426
Please, let's watch
We All Live in a Barn.
388
00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:38,350
Nothing would make me happier
389
00:16:38,353 --> 00:16:41,286
and there is no one I
would rather do it with.
390
00:16:41,289 --> 00:16:43,249
Okay. [LAUGHS]
391
00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:46,030
Oh, and remember, the-the
spinoff premieres tonight.
392
00:16:46,033 --> 00:16:48,663
- We All Live in a Barn: Miami.
- Miami!
393
00:16:48,666 --> 00:16:50,600
[CHUCKLES] Ah.
394
00:16:50,603 --> 00:16:52,925
[UPBEAT BANJO MELODY PLAYS]
395
00:16:52,928 --> 00:16:58,063
Stupid Ken Brunt, you do
have fire in your eyes.
396
00:16:58,065 --> 00:17:00,866
Joshua, you are better than diarrhea.
397
00:17:00,868 --> 00:17:02,686
What?
398
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,905
You're not gonna take an
embarrassing commercial.
399
00:17:04,908 --> 00:17:06,975
You belong on Broadway.
400
00:17:06,978 --> 00:17:08,639
I appreciate that,
Mom, but you can't just
401
00:17:08,642 --> 00:17:11,043
call up Broadway and say, "Hey,
I want to be in your play."
402
00:17:11,046 --> 00:17:13,445
Ah, give me the number. I'll do it.
403
00:17:13,448 --> 00:17:14,858
Mom, it's not happening.
404
00:17:14,861 --> 00:17:15,952
How can you know
405
00:17:15,955 --> 00:17:18,164
it's not happening if you don't try?
406
00:17:18,167 --> 00:17:20,434
I don't want to try because
407
00:17:20,437 --> 00:17:22,888
I don't want to find out
they're not interested.
408
00:17:22,891 --> 00:17:25,350
Oh.
409
00:17:25,353 --> 00:17:27,293
I see what's happening here.
410
00:17:27,295 --> 00:17:28,405
All right.
411
00:17:28,408 --> 00:17:29,707
- Come on. Get up.
- What?
412
00:17:29,710 --> 00:17:31,139
Get up. Up, up, up, up, up, up, up.
413
00:17:31,142 --> 00:17:32,523
What are you... what are you doing?
414
00:17:32,525 --> 00:17:34,553
We're going to do... [SNIFFLES]
415
00:17:34,556 --> 00:17:36,298
- a trust fall.
- No, we're not.
416
00:17:36,301 --> 00:17:38,584
- Oh, yes, we are.
- Why?
417
00:17:38,587 --> 00:17:41,894
- Just trust me.
- Mom, I'm too heavy. You can't catch me.
418
00:17:41,897 --> 00:17:45,599
Oh, well, my aqua-aerobics
instructor would beg to differ.
419
00:17:45,602 --> 00:17:47,717
I'm kind of the butch of the class.
420
00:17:49,249 --> 00:17:52,217
Well, I can tell you won't
leave until I do it, so fine.
421
00:17:52,219 --> 00:17:54,821
[SIGHS] All right.
422
00:17:54,823 --> 00:17:56,306
Get ready.
423
00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:58,104
Relax.
424
00:17:58,107 --> 00:18:00,059
And trust.
425
00:18:00,061 --> 00:18:02,486
Okay.
426
00:18:02,611 --> 00:18:06,112
Okay.
427
00:18:06,115 --> 00:18:08,025
Ow!
428
00:18:08,028 --> 00:18:10,060
God! Why didn't you catch me?!
429
00:18:10,063 --> 00:18:12,337
Don't be ridiculous. I can't catch you.
430
00:18:12,340 --> 00:18:14,841
Those aqua weights are three pounds.
431
00:18:15,884 --> 00:18:17,275
So why'd we do that?!
432
00:18:17,278 --> 00:18:19,312
To show you you'd be okay.
433
00:18:19,315 --> 00:18:20,931
You are okay, aren't you?
434
00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:22,533
No, that hurt.
435
00:18:22,536 --> 00:18:24,259
But you're okay.
436
00:18:24,262 --> 00:18:25,470
Yeah.
437
00:18:25,473 --> 00:18:26,872
Exactly.
438
00:18:26,875 --> 00:18:29,176
You fell down, but you're okay.
439
00:18:29,179 --> 00:18:30,377
That's life.
440
00:18:30,380 --> 00:18:32,315
You try something, you fail.
441
00:18:32,318 --> 00:18:33,750
Again, I didn't fail.
442
00:18:33,753 --> 00:18:35,252
You didn't catch me.
443
00:18:35,255 --> 00:18:37,310
Sometimes you get banged up,
444
00:18:37,313 --> 00:18:39,201
but you get up.
445
00:18:41,100 --> 00:18:42,699
And you keep going.
446
00:18:42,702 --> 00:18:44,869
Not at all the point of trust falls.
447
00:18:44,872 --> 00:18:47,556
No, but...
448
00:18:47,559 --> 00:18:49,692
But...
449
00:18:49,695 --> 00:18:51,064
I get your point.
450
00:18:51,067 --> 00:18:52,728
I will call about the play.
451
00:18:52,731 --> 00:18:55,806
Good. The worst thing
they can do is say no.
452
00:18:55,809 --> 00:18:57,993
And who knows? Maybe they'll say yes.
453
00:18:57,996 --> 00:18:59,689
If they know what's good for them.
454
00:18:59,692 --> 00:19:01,259
[CHUCKLES]
455
00:19:01,262 --> 00:19:02,431
Thanks, Mom.
456
00:19:02,434 --> 00:19:05,298
And, Joshie, remember, you have me,
457
00:19:05,301 --> 00:19:07,509
so you'll always have a stalker.
458
00:19:18,578 --> 00:19:20,798
Broadway, baby. I can't
believe you got it.
459
00:19:20,801 --> 00:19:21,804
I know, it's crazy.
460
00:19:21,807 --> 00:19:23,040
I am so excited.
461
00:19:23,043 --> 00:19:24,207
Man, me, too.
462
00:19:24,210 --> 00:19:26,759
I hear Broadway groupies are
both smoking and intelligent,
463
00:19:26,762 --> 00:19:29,012
so, uh, we got that to look forward to.
464
00:19:29,015 --> 00:19:30,180
[CHUCKLES] We?
465
00:19:30,183 --> 00:19:32,462
- Yeah, I'm in.
- Oh, cool.
466
00:19:32,465 --> 00:19:35,109
Yo, isn't that your stalker?
467
00:19:35,112 --> 00:19:37,212
It sure is.
468
00:19:37,215 --> 00:19:39,033
I'm back, baby.
469
00:19:39,035 --> 00:19:41,635
Congrats on your new gig.
470
00:19:41,637 --> 00:19:44,072
Sleep with one eye open, my pet.
471
00:19:44,075 --> 00:19:46,004
- And, we're running. Come on.
- Oh, my God, yes.
472
00:19:46,007 --> 00:19:47,355
Come on. Go.
473
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:55,004
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474
00:19:55,054 --> 00:19:59,604
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