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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,074 Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:00:09,500 --> 00:00:10,499 Hey, how was your summer? 3 00:00:10,500 --> 00:00:12,100 Hi, gary, how was your summer? 4 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:13,700 Hey, how was your summer? 5 00:00:14,500 --> 00:00:15,000 Hey, jack, 6 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:16,500 there's my buddy! 7 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:18,600 Walk with me, lemon. 8 00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:20,999 Well, you look great. 9 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,499 I can't believe I haven't spoken to you since your heart attack. 10 00:00:23,500 --> 00:00:25,199 That's what I wanted to talk to you about. 11 00:00:25,205 --> 00:00:27,290 Nobody from corporate knows about my cardiac event, 12 00:00:27,302 --> 00:00:28,694 and I want to leave it that way. 13 00:00:28,706 --> 00:00:29,591 I'm back, lemon. 14 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:31,191 I've had the most productive summer of my life. 15 00:00:31,209 --> 00:00:32,303 Me too. 16 00:00:32,708 --> 00:00:34,592 All of my summer replacement shows were big hits. 17 00:00:34,607 --> 00:00:36,191 America's next topirate, 18 00:00:36,207 --> 00:00:37,392 are you stronger than a dog, 19 00:00:37,407 --> 00:00:38,393 milf island. 20 00:00:38,408 --> 00:00:39,493 Milf island? 21 00:00:39,506 --> 00:00:40,692 25 super-hot moms, 22 00:00:40,706 --> 00:00:42,693 50 eighth grade boys, no rules. 23 00:00:42,707 --> 00:00:43,203 Oh, yeah. 24 00:00:43,207 --> 00:00:45,892 Didn't one of those women turn out to be a prostitute? 25 00:00:45,907 --> 00:00:48,502 That doesn't mean she's not a wonderful, caring milf. 26 00:00:50,505 --> 00:00:52,091 Well, uh, I had a great summer too. 27 00:00:52,107 --> 00:00:53,090 And, um-- 28 00:00:53,106 --> 00:00:55,292 did you...redecorate or-- 29 00:00:55,307 --> 00:00:58,090 sir, I have all the latest seinfeldvision promos. 30 00:00:58,106 --> 00:00:59,091 Oh, wonderful! 31 00:00:59,106 --> 00:01:00,790 What's seinfeldvision? 32 00:01:00,808 --> 00:01:05,693 Well, I realized that nbc owns hundreds of hours of footage of seinfeld 33 00:01:05,707 --> 00:01:08,402 from his massively successful television series seinfeld. 34 00:01:08,907 --> 00:01:12,092 So my old tech guys were able to digitally capture seinfeld, 35 00:01:12,107 --> 00:01:15,903 and now we can basically make him do or say whatever we want. 36 00:01:16,106 --> 00:01:16,892 So for the month of october, 37 00:01:16,906 --> 00:01:21,193 all of our prime time shows will feature a computerized guest appearance from... 38 00:01:21,205 --> 00:01:22,293 mr. Jerry... 39 00:01:22,308 --> 00:01:23,393 seinfeld. 40 00:01:23,408 --> 00:01:24,793 If you didn't kill her, 41 00:01:24,806 --> 00:01:26,192 why didn't you stay? 42 00:01:26,206 --> 00:01:26,992 Quit grillin' me! 43 00:01:27,006 --> 00:01:28,791 Seinfeldvision 44 00:01:28,807 --> 00:01:29,893 save the cheerleader. 45 00:01:29,906 --> 00:01:31,291 Save the world. 46 00:01:31,308 --> 00:01:33,493 ********* 47 00:01:33,505 --> 00:01:35,191 Yah! That's what I said. 48 00:01:35,206 --> 00:01:36,792 Seinfeldvision 49 00:01:36,807 --> 00:01:39,403 deal...or no deal? 50 00:01:40,207 --> 00:01:41,803 I'll take that deal! 51 00:01:44,607 --> 00:01:46,593 Does jerry seinfeld know you're doing this? 52 00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:48,492 Jerry's in europe with his family right now. 53 00:01:48,506 --> 00:01:49,591 But by the time he gets back, 54 00:01:49,608 --> 00:01:51,392 seinfeldvision will be a monster hit, 55 00:01:51,408 --> 00:01:52,392 and his kids'll go to school, 56 00:01:52,408 --> 00:01:55,893 and their friends'll say i really loved your dad in that episode of medium last night, 57 00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:57,102 and he'S... 58 00:01:57,408 --> 00:01:58,700 he's gonna love it. 59 00:02:00,607 --> 00:02:01,593 Well, I had a great summer too. 60 00:02:01,607 --> 00:02:02,792 I started a quilt. 61 00:02:02,806 --> 00:02:04,492 I did yoga twice a week. 62 00:02:04,505 --> 00:02:06,492 I wore flip-flops in public. 63 00:02:06,505 --> 00:02:08,801 I really feel like this is gonna be my year. 64 00:02:09,007 --> 00:02:10,091 Biggest loser. 65 00:02:10,105 --> 00:02:11,700 So what's up with floyd? 66 00:02:12,106 --> 00:02:13,293 Uh, we broke up. 67 00:02:13,307 --> 00:02:15,392 We agreed that it was crazy to try it long-distance, 68 00:02:15,407 --> 00:02:17,601 and I feel great about t it. 69 00:02:17,806 --> 00:02:18,392 Oh, come on, lemon. 70 00:02:18,407 --> 00:02:19,691 If there's two things i'm certain of, 71 00:02:19,708 --> 00:02:20,990 one is you will never finish that quilt, 72 00:02:21,008 --> 00:02:21,893 I know. 73 00:02:21,908 --> 00:02:22,993 And you are not over floyd. 74 00:02:23,008 --> 00:02:24,691 No, I really am, jack. 75 00:02:24,707 --> 00:02:25,290 I'm telling you, 76 00:02:25,305 --> 00:02:26,792 this is my year. 77 00:02:26,808 --> 00:02:28,392 I feel like the show's gonna be great, 78 00:02:28,407 --> 00:02:31,293 and I'm very positive that i'm gonna meet someone else. 79 00:02:31,307 --> 00:02:35,702 Lemon, women your age are more likely to be mauled at the zoo than get married. 80 00:02:35,705 --> 00:02:36,490 Good to see you. 81 00:02:36,508 --> 00:02:37,503 Bye. 82 00:02:38,005 --> 00:02:40,102 Glad we're botdoing so great. 83 00:02:40,107 --> 00:02:41,703 Put floyd's name on that quilt. 84 00:02:41,705 --> 00:02:44,703 -=www.ydy.com/bbs=- Proudly Presents 85 00:02:44,707 --> 00:02:47,701 -=www.ydy.com/bbs=- Sync: YTET- xjeff0 86 00:02:47,705 --> 00:02:49,700 30.Rock Season 02 Episode 01 87 00:02:59,508 --> 00:03:02,590 Yo, ken, I'm gon use this whole kitchen area as my bathroom. 88 00:03:02,607 --> 00:03:03,793 Spread the word. 89 00:03:03,806 --> 00:03:04,792 What is this? 90 00:03:04,805 --> 00:03:06,392 Mr. Jordan's wife kicked him out. 91 00:03:06,408 --> 00:03:10,190 She froze my credit and she got custody of grizz. 92 00:03:10,208 --> 00:03:12,090 Can I keep my cockatiel in your office? 93 00:03:12,105 --> 00:03:14,492 No. Go home and apologize to your wife. 94 00:03:14,505 --> 00:03:15,093 What? 95 00:03:15,108 --> 00:03:16,492 I'm not apologizing! 96 00:03:16,507 --> 00:03:17,890 'Cause for once in my life, 97 00:03:17,907 --> 00:03:19,291 I haven't done anything wrong. 98 00:03:19,306 --> 00:03:21,292 How many years have you known me, liz lemon? 99 00:03:21,306 --> 00:03:21,991 One. 100 00:03:22,007 --> 00:03:25,091 So you know I like to minister to transvestite prostitutes. 101 00:03:25,107 --> 00:03:26,790 I don't think I did know that, no. 102 00:03:26,808 --> 00:03:27,391 It's true. 103 00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:28,292 He doesn't mess with 'em. 104 00:03:28,307 --> 00:03:30,693 He just tries to get 'em into computer school. 105 00:03:30,708 --> 00:03:31,792 So labor day weekend, 106 00:03:31,807 --> 00:03:34,992 I see this young she-dude at the dumpster by 40/40. 107 00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:36,292 I pull over and I say, 108 00:03:36,307 --> 00:03:39,203 "you don't have to live your life like this. 109 00:03:39,406 --> 00:03:42,092 "You can be a freaky deeky and do datentry. 110 00:03:42,106 --> 00:03:43,792 -Sure -"what about court reporting? 111 00:03:43,805 --> 00:03:45,892 Believe in yourself." 112 00:03:45,905 --> 00:03:46,703 Right. 113 00:03:46,708 --> 00:03:49,092 So as I reach in the trash and pull this dude out, 114 00:03:49,108 --> 00:03:52,292 a paparazzo jumps out and takes a picture of me. 115 00:03:52,307 --> 00:03:54,192 Tracy jordan and his wife angie. 116 00:03:54,208 --> 00:03:54,790 Oops. 117 00:03:54,808 --> 00:03:57,191 So not only are you holding a transvestite prostitute... 118 00:03:57,208 --> 00:03:59,893 they confused "shim" with mrs. Jordan, yes, ma'am. 119 00:03:59,908 --> 00:04:03,393 And they think she looks better here than she did at the 2004 grammys. 120 00:04:03,405 --> 00:04:04,593 who's gonna do my banking? 121 00:04:04,606 --> 00:04:05,993 Who's gonna write my blogs? 122 00:04:06,005 --> 00:04:07,993 Who's gonna do the cooking on taco wednesdays? 123 00:04:08,006 --> 00:04:08,993 Okay, well, kenneth, 124 00:04:09,006 --> 00:04:14,702 you are now in charge of helping tracy with any of the nonsexual things that angie would do for him. 125 00:04:14,905 --> 00:04:16,492 So he's, like, my office wife? 126 00:04:16,505 --> 00:04:18,403 Sure. Let's go with that. 127 00:04:20,107 --> 00:04:21,692 Kenneth parcell, 128 00:04:21,805 --> 00:04:23,201 will you take this ring... 129 00:04:24,706 --> 00:04:26,590 and sell it in the jewish part of midtown, 130 00:04:26,605 --> 00:04:29,090 and use the money to get us a nintendo wii? 131 00:04:29,107 --> 00:04:30,393 Yes. Yes. 132 00:04:30,408 --> 00:04:32,300 A thousand times yes! 133 00:04:36,007 --> 00:04:37,493 Liz, how was your summer? 134 00:04:37,507 --> 00:04:38,293 Good. 135 00:04:38,307 --> 00:04:39,993 -Floyd and I-- -'cause my play was amazing. 136 00:04:40,005 --> 00:04:43,402 There is nothing like thehrill of doing a live show on broadway. 137 00:04:45,505 --> 00:04:46,903 You know, jojo, 138 00:04:47,105 --> 00:04:50,693 when life keeps handing you anchovies 139 00:04:50,708 --> 00:04:53,892 just cover them up with some extra cheese 140 00:04:53,907 --> 00:04:56,301 and make a pizza 141 00:04:56,606 --> 00:04:57,693 well, I'm sorry i missed it. 142 00:04:57,706 --> 00:04:59,703 It sounds just like the movie and-- 143 00:04:59,706 --> 00:05:00,200 What happened to you? 144 00:05:00,205 --> 00:05:01,490 Do I look fat? 145 00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:04,794 Liz, I had to eat four slices of pizza on stage, each performance 146 00:05:04,806 --> 00:05:07,191 jenna, that's 32 pieces of pizza a week! 147 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:08,891 No, that can't be right. 148 00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:10,791 Liz, it's like I flipped the eating switch, 149 00:05:10,808 --> 00:05:12,090 and I can't flip it back. 150 00:05:12,108 --> 00:05:13,592 you have to help me 151 00:05:13,608 --> 00:05:14,692 well how am I suppose-- 152 00:05:14,705 --> 00:05:16,301 oh it's worse from behind 153 00:05:18,106 --> 00:05:19,192 I'm on it 154 00:05:19,206 --> 00:05:21,701 She need to lose thirty pounds or gain sixty 155 00:05:22,108 --> 00:05:23,893 anything between it, not place in television 156 00:05:23,908 --> 00:05:25,603 I can't believe I missed you 157 00:05:28,706 --> 00:05:30,391 did Jack say he care about my weight? 158 00:05:30,408 --> 00:05:33,701 no he didn't even mention, he's not noticing no one is noticing 159 00:05:34,406 --> 00:05:35,493 Yowza!!Oh! 160 00:05:35,507 --> 00:05:38,202 hey Mrs Michelin, I love your ty 161 00:05:38,708 --> 00:05:40,691 Okay everyone welcome back 162 00:05:40,707 --> 00:05:46,790 some of you maybe wondering what happened between me and my boyfriend floyd this summer and the answer is we did break up 163 00:05:46,808 --> 00:05:47,990 But I am doing fine. 164 00:05:48,006 --> 00:05:49,690 Floyd the black guy 165 00:05:49,707 --> 00:05:50,893 okay, you don't care. 166 00:05:50,907 --> 00:05:51,793 i don't care either... 167 00:05:51,805 --> 00:05:53,203 so great 168 00:05:53,307 --> 00:05:56,201 I want a pack of 50 ideas from each of you by tomorrow morning 169 00:06:00,807 --> 00:06:02,702 Hey, I need to ask you guys something 170 00:06:02,707 --> 00:06:03,590 Avoid from me 171 00:06:03,605 --> 00:06:05,001 don't stand near me 172 00:06:05,905 --> 00:06:08,402 will you guys be bridesmaid in my wedding 173 00:06:08,906 --> 00:06:10,292 That is very sweet 174 00:06:10,305 --> 00:06:13,893 but I think I might be passed bridesmaid age. 175 00:06:13,906 --> 00:06:14,890 Oh, I'm sorry 176 00:06:14,907 --> 00:06:18,193 Is it hard for you because you broke up with that floyd guy 177 00:06:18,208 --> 00:06:20,300 no what no 178 00:06:20,608 --> 00:06:24,591 you know what, I would love- we would love to be your bridesmaid 179 00:06:24,606 --> 00:06:25,191 Great 180 00:06:25,206 --> 00:06:27,192 We need to dress shopping tomorrow then 181 00:06:27,207 --> 00:06:29,703 So meet me at laifess at 10. AM. 182 00:06:32,906 --> 00:06:35,101 Yeah No I have my something old 183 00:06:43,605 --> 00:06:45,800 Rise the shine Mr. Jordan 184 00:06:46,408 --> 00:06:48,590 I couldn't sleep at all last night 185 00:06:48,606 --> 00:06:52,490 Angie kept my sharp image white noise aroma therapy machine 186 00:06:52,508 --> 00:06:56,790 She knows I can't sleep without the *** 187 00:06:56,805 --> 00:06:58,690 well hurry up and get your second win 188 00:06:58,707 --> 00:07:01,492 cause I've got a day all planned out. 189 00:07:01,505 --> 00:07:03,692 We'll start at bed bethon beyond 190 00:07:03,705 --> 00:07:05,590 get things you'll need here, 191 00:07:05,605 --> 00:07:09,390 then, an old friend of mine from college is having a baby shower at long island 192 00:07:09,406 --> 00:07:10,793 So we'll swing by there. 193 00:07:10,808 --> 00:07:11,493 And for dinner, 194 00:07:11,508 --> 00:07:12,791 I thought we could just stay in 195 00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:14,990 and have the rest of that soup that I made yesterday. 196 00:07:15,005 --> 00:07:17,200 I'm not doing any of that! 197 00:07:18,107 --> 00:07:20,301 Okay. Fine. 198 00:07:20,307 --> 00:07:22,591 I went with you to your black vampire movie. 199 00:07:22,607 --> 00:07:25,900 But I guess I'll just tell my friends that you have a migraine. 200 00:07:26,008 --> 00:07:28,402 Great compromise, office wife. 201 00:07:49,107 --> 00:07:51,403 Hey, you know where I can find that jack donaghy? 202 00:07:52,705 --> 00:07:54,701 I got a bone to pick with that guy. 203 00:07:54,907 --> 00:07:56,392 I don't know which bone i'm gonna pick, 204 00:07:56,406 --> 00:07:57,392 but he's got some bones, 205 00:07:57,408 --> 00:07:58,900 and I'm gonna pick one. 206 00:08:05,108 --> 00:08:06,100 Really? 207 00:08:10,906 --> 00:08:11,991 Weddings are so weird. 208 00:08:12,008 --> 00:08:14,300 This veil costs more than my couch. 209 00:08:14,407 --> 00:08:17,892 Is that comedy, or do you really have a $300 couch? 210 00:08:17,907 --> 00:08:19,102 Both. 211 00:08:20,407 --> 00:08:20,990 What, 212 00:08:21,005 --> 00:08:23,493 you never pretended to be a bride when you were a little girl? 213 00:08:23,506 --> 00:08:26,003 I did. I just never romanticized it. 214 00:08:26,608 --> 00:08:29,593 This is my husnd, saul rosenbear, 215 00:08:29,608 --> 00:08:33,901 and this is his son richard from a previous marriage. 216 00:08:34,506 --> 00:08:36,902 And then he cheated on me with a lamb. 217 00:08:37,307 --> 00:08:39,701 liz, this dress is amazing. 218 00:08:39,706 --> 00:08:40,791 But they don't have it in my size. 219 00:08:40,805 --> 00:08:44,090 Can you try it on for me so I can see how it hangs? 220 00:08:44,106 --> 00:08:45,791 Yes. You're closer, liz. 221 00:08:45,806 --> 00:08:46,392 You do it. 222 00:08:46,408 --> 00:08:48,202 I mean, I could do it, but... 223 00:08:49,206 --> 00:08:51,401 fun...this is fun. 224 00:08:53,305 --> 00:08:55,693 Sir, jerry seinfeld is here to see you. 225 00:08:55,708 --> 00:08:57,300 You told me he was in europe! 226 00:08:57,407 --> 00:08:58,391 Does he look upset? 227 00:08:58,406 --> 00:09:01,101 He looks the way you did when I tried to hold your hand on the jet. 228 00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:03,291 Stall him for a few minutes, jonathan, 229 00:09:03,305 --> 00:09:04,291 till I get my ducks in a row. 230 00:09:04,306 --> 00:09:05,900 And get me legal on the phone. 231 00:09:12,108 --> 00:09:12,793 Oh, my god. 232 00:09:12,805 --> 00:09:13,790 If I cover my good eye, 233 00:09:13,808 --> 00:09:15,790 you look just like courtney cox. 234 00:09:15,808 --> 00:09:17,490 This one is really nice, cerie. 235 00:09:17,505 --> 00:09:18,790 And it's 40% off. 236 00:09:18,805 --> 00:09:19,391 Oh, no. 237 00:09:19,405 --> 00:09:22,391 Aris would kill me if I ever bought a dress on sale. 238 00:09:22,406 --> 00:09:23,602 I can'T. 239 00:09:27,706 --> 00:09:29,500 It really is nice, isn't it? 240 00:09:29,907 --> 00:09:32,692 You should buy it and save it for your wedding. 241 00:09:32,706 --> 00:09:35,000 No, no. I'm single. 242 00:09:35,105 --> 00:09:35,693 Doin' great. 243 00:09:35,707 --> 00:09:38,601 But don't you think you will ever get married to anyone? 244 00:09:39,608 --> 00:09:41,403 You are trying to make a sale. 245 00:09:42,005 --> 00:09:43,291 I know how this works. 246 00:09:43,305 --> 00:09:44,402 Oh, thank you. 247 00:09:46,305 --> 00:09:47,903 Hi. Jack? 248 00:09:48,206 --> 00:09:50,001 No, of course i'm at the office. Yeah. 249 00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:51,993 Stall who? 250 00:09:52,007 --> 00:09:53,703 This is our control room. 251 00:09:54,306 --> 00:09:55,792 There'S...nobody in there. 252 00:09:55,805 --> 00:09:56,992 Sorry there's nothing to see. 253 00:09:57,008 --> 00:09:59,090 We just got back from summer hiatus yesterday. 254 00:09:59,106 --> 00:10:00,893 Yeah. Everybody's summer good? 255 00:10:00,907 --> 00:10:01,792 Oh, mine was great. 256 00:10:01,805 --> 00:10:03,390 I read, like, two books. 257 00:10:03,405 --> 00:10:04,390 I broke up with my boyfriend. 258 00:10:04,408 --> 00:10:05,190 But I'm doing great. 259 00:10:05,207 --> 00:10:06,290 I'm totally over it. 260 00:10:06,307 --> 00:10:07,402 Still talking? 261 00:10:07,606 --> 00:10:08,292 oh, no, no, no, no. 262 00:10:08,306 --> 00:10:10,301 I haven't talked to him since--whew! 263 00:10:11,508 --> 00:10:12,893 August...9th? 264 00:10:12,906 --> 00:10:14,603 4:17 P.M.? 265 00:10:14,807 --> 00:10:15,801 It's not over. 266 00:10:15,905 --> 00:10:16,492 Oh, no, it's over. 267 00:10:16,505 --> 00:10:17,292 I'm over it. 268 00:10:17,305 --> 00:10:19,892 No, it's not over till you pick up the phone, 269 00:10:19,908 --> 00:10:21,592 you say, "I don't love you anymore, " 270 00:10:21,606 --> 00:10:23,493 they say, "I don't love you anymore either." 271 00:10:23,506 --> 00:10:25,690 You go, "great, I'll pick you up in 20. 272 00:10:25,705 --> 00:10:26,890 Let's grab a scone." 273 00:10:26,908 --> 00:10:27,993 A scone--yes! 274 00:10:28,008 --> 00:10:28,793 I want that! 275 00:10:28,807 --> 00:10:29,692 I'm gonna call him. (Tracy) 276 00:10:29,707 --> 00:10:31,201 liz lemon. 277 00:10:31,407 --> 00:10:32,690 I need you to go to my house 278 00:10:32,708 --> 00:10:35,691 and pretend you're doing a survey for the ranford group. 279 00:10:35,706 --> 00:10:38,390 And then ask my wife if she's sleeping with D.L. Hughley! 280 00:10:38,407 --> 00:10:40,091 No. I'm not doing any of that. 281 00:10:40,106 --> 00:10:41,191 J.S.! 282 00:10:41,206 --> 00:10:42,193 Oh, tracy. 283 00:10:42,206 --> 00:10:43,191 What's up? 284 00:10:43,207 --> 00:10:46,493 Liz lemon, me and this dude used to do standup together. 285 00:10:46,506 --> 00:10:49,602 Remember that night we had a three-way with elayne boosler? 286 00:10:50,305 --> 00:10:51,600 I don't think that was me. 287 00:10:52,105 --> 00:10:52,692 Oh, yeah. 288 00:10:52,705 --> 00:10:53,491 You know what? 289 00:10:53,505 --> 00:10:55,103 I think that was a mirror. 290 00:10:57,307 --> 00:10:58,993 J.S., This is my kenneth. 291 00:10:59,008 --> 00:10:59,790 Ah, yeah. 292 00:10:59,806 --> 00:11:00,491 You again. 293 00:11:00,507 --> 00:11:01,403 Hello. 294 00:11:01,905 --> 00:11:03,493 Jonathan, when is he gonna meet with jerry? 295 00:11:03,505 --> 00:11:04,891 This is taking forever. 296 00:11:04,907 --> 00:11:05,793 mr. Donaghy left. 297 00:11:05,807 --> 00:11:07,093 What? When? 298 00:11:07,108 --> 00:11:08,501 Just a few minutes ago. 299 00:11:12,708 --> 00:11:13,702 Jack? 300 00:11:16,206 --> 00:11:17,403 Jack? 301 00:11:18,106 --> 00:11:19,403 Jack. 302 00:11:20,307 --> 00:11:20,893 Jerry? 303 00:11:20,908 --> 00:11:22,001 Is that you? 304 00:11:22,508 --> 00:11:23,890 Nobody told me you were here. 305 00:11:23,908 --> 00:11:25,302 Oh, I'm here, jack. 306 00:11:25,606 --> 00:11:28,003 Kenneth, why didn't you tell me mr. Seinfeld is here? 307 00:11:29,907 --> 00:11:31,003 What's wrong with him? 308 00:11:41,307 --> 00:11:42,301 hello? 309 00:11:43,105 --> 00:11:43,791 Hello, I'm sorry. 310 00:11:43,805 --> 00:11:45,701 May I speak to floyd, please? 311 00:11:46,505 --> 00:11:48,102 Oh, he's in the...shower. 312 00:11:48,706 --> 00:11:51,801 I am conducting a survey for the ranford group. 313 00:11:51,805 --> 00:11:54,502 And, uh...how old are you? 314 00:11:54,906 --> 00:11:56,002 And your weight? 315 00:11:56,607 --> 00:11:59,300 And when was the last time you had intercourse? 316 00:12:00,005 --> 00:12:01,100 Who is this? 317 00:12:01,108 --> 00:12:02,200 Who are you? 318 00:12:02,306 --> 00:12:04,803 I'm your worst nightmare, is who I is! 319 00:12:07,106 --> 00:12:09,800 He's got some girl over there already! 320 00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:13,302 That is so embarrassing for you. 321 00:12:14,706 --> 00:12:15,992 So how can I help you, jerry? 322 00:12:16,005 --> 00:12:20,801 Jack, I was vacationing with my family in europe in a country only rich people know about. 323 00:12:21,005 --> 00:12:21,793 Svenborgia? 324 00:12:21,806 --> 00:12:23,692 No. Better. 325 00:12:23,708 --> 00:12:25,102 But I can't tell you. 326 00:12:25,207 --> 00:12:25,792 Anyway, 327 00:12:25,808 --> 00:12:28,992 my mother called to tell me that I'm gonna be on law and order! 328 00:12:29,008 --> 00:12:30,090 And E.R. 329 00:12:30,107 --> 00:12:34,103 So I called my agent to find out when did I shoot these things? 330 00:12:34,206 --> 00:12:35,193 That's the beauty of this, jerry. 331 00:12:35,205 --> 00:12:36,392 It's all done with computers. 332 00:12:36,406 --> 00:12:36,993 When you see it, 333 00:12:37,005 --> 00:12:38,100 you're gonna love it. 334 00:12:38,206 --> 00:12:39,591 25 sexy moms. 335 00:12:39,606 --> 00:12:41,290 50 sweaty eighth-grade boys. 336 00:12:41,305 --> 00:12:43,392 And one beloved american comedy star. 337 00:12:43,407 --> 00:12:45,991 this wednesday on milf island... 338 00:12:46,006 --> 00:12:48,293 really? Is that really your pitch? 339 00:12:48,306 --> 00:12:50,291 Okay. I get it. 340 00:12:50,305 --> 00:12:51,903 This is a two-way street. 341 00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:52,893 All right, jerry, 342 00:12:52,907 --> 00:12:56,593 what nbc shows do you want to be digitally inserted into? 343 00:12:56,606 --> 00:12:57,593 I like lost. 344 00:12:57,608 --> 00:12:58,903 Is that you guys? 345 00:13:00,808 --> 00:13:01,702 Jerry, 346 00:13:02,008 --> 00:13:02,990 don't be difficult. 347 00:13:03,005 --> 00:13:05,691 The fact of the matter is that seinfeldvision is perfectly legal, 348 00:13:05,707 --> 00:13:07,092 and there's nothing you can do to stop us. 349 00:13:07,107 --> 00:13:09,200 I'm sorry, but... 350 00:13:09,708 --> 00:13:10,490 it's business. 351 00:13:10,507 --> 00:13:11,793 Here's some business. 352 00:13:11,805 --> 00:13:17,000 How 'bout I buy nbc and turn it into the biggest lane bryant in midtown? 353 00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:20,092 Jerry, come on. 354 00:13:20,105 --> 00:13:21,790 You're gonna buy nbc, 355 00:13:21,808 --> 00:13:24,603 like you've got $4 million just laying around... 356 00:13:26,508 --> 00:13:27,291 jerry, I'm sorry. 357 00:13:27,305 --> 00:13:28,500 Give me two days... 358 00:13:28,706 --> 00:13:30,291 and I'll come up with something you'll really be proud of. 359 00:13:30,305 --> 00:13:31,901 Besides, you owe me. 360 00:13:32,205 --> 00:13:34,392 Remember, st. Barts, I saved your life from that shark? 361 00:13:34,408 --> 00:13:35,802 All right, jack. 362 00:13:36,206 --> 00:13:37,401 I'll come back. 363 00:13:38,508 --> 00:13:40,801 But I still think you shot a dolphin. 364 00:13:45,905 --> 00:13:48,893 hi. I'm here to drop off the inspiration photos. 365 00:13:48,908 --> 00:13:50,193 And you are the mother. 366 00:13:50,205 --> 00:13:51,901 Bridesmaid, yes. 367 00:13:53,808 --> 00:13:54,902 That's my dress. 368 00:13:55,505 --> 00:13:56,492 Don't buy that. 369 00:13:56,505 --> 00:13:58,203 That looks ugly on you. 370 00:13:58,606 --> 00:14:00,300 Yeah, you'll thank me. 371 00:14:00,905 --> 00:14:02,192 Is that dress still on sale? 372 00:14:02,205 --> 00:14:03,101 Yes. 373 00:14:03,708 --> 00:14:07,393 You know, a lot of women buy their perfect dress when they see it, 374 00:14:07,407 --> 00:14:10,090 and then just trust the fact that the husband will come. 375 00:14:10,105 --> 00:14:11,100 Yeah. 376 00:14:11,405 --> 00:14:12,690 Well, this is my year. 377 00:14:12,707 --> 00:14:14,193 I mean, floyd's moving on. 378 00:14:14,205 --> 00:14:15,091 I'm moving on too. 379 00:14:15,108 --> 00:14:17,092 I'm just doing it in my own order. 380 00:14:17,105 --> 00:14:18,491 I'm gonna get the wedding dress, 381 00:14:18,506 --> 00:14:19,791 and then I'm gonna have a baby, 382 00:14:19,806 --> 00:14:21,693 and then I'm gonna die, 383 00:14:21,707 --> 00:14:23,902 and then I'm gonna meet a super-cute guy in heaven. 384 00:14:24,508 --> 00:14:25,401 Yeah. 385 00:14:26,308 --> 00:14:27,691 I'm not kidding, blondie. 386 00:14:27,705 --> 00:14:29,202 Get out of the dress. 387 00:14:31,407 --> 00:14:34,301 I'll need to spread it over a couple of different credit cards. 388 00:14:36,908 --> 00:14:38,292 Lemon, I am in full-blown crisis mode. 389 00:14:38,307 --> 00:14:41,093 I've already sold 20 million dollars' worth of ad time for seinfeldvision, 390 00:14:41,108 --> 00:14:42,293 and now jerry wants to pull the plug. 391 00:14:42,305 --> 00:14:44,192 But I don't care, because i thrive in crisis mode. 392 00:14:44,205 --> 00:14:45,593 That's when I'm really at my best. 393 00:14:45,605 --> 00:14:49,192 And the fact that I do not have one idea how to solve this only energizes me more. 394 00:14:49,208 --> 00:14:50,690 I've been brainstorming all night--here we go. 395 00:14:50,705 --> 00:14:52,291 Number one--kill seinfeld. 396 00:14:52,305 --> 00:14:53,791 Number two--kill seinfeld, then kill myself. 397 00:14:53,808 --> 00:14:56,791 Number three--kill seinfeld, flee to svenborgia, then kill myself. 398 00:14:56,808 --> 00:14:58,391 Jack, I'm not having the best day either. 399 00:14:58,406 --> 00:14:59,493 Number 70-- 400 00:14:59,508 --> 00:15:00,192 you seduce seinfeld. 401 00:15:00,205 --> 00:15:02,490 Now, why is me seducing seinfeld all the way at 70? 402 00:15:02,506 --> 00:15:04,093 Number 71--I fake a hurricane, 403 00:15:04,107 --> 00:15:06,193 and all regularly scheduled programming is preempted. 404 00:15:06,205 --> 00:15:07,690 These are terrible ideas. 405 00:15:07,708 --> 00:15:09,803 There are no bad ideas in brainstorming, lemon. 406 00:15:10,208 --> 00:15:11,892 I'm sure I'll come up with something at the 11th hour. 407 00:15:11,908 --> 00:15:13,292 I always do, 408 00:15:13,307 --> 00:15:14,802 'cause I'm just that good. 409 00:15:25,106 --> 00:15:26,301 It was on sale. 410 00:15:29,908 --> 00:15:31,291 I'm mad at you, ken. 411 00:15:31,308 --> 00:15:33,291 I seen the way you was lookin' eld. 412 00:15:33,306 --> 00:15:35,201 You used to look at me like that. 413 00:15:35,408 --> 00:15:38,393 What, am I not a big enough star for you any 414 00:15:38,408 --> 00:15:41,401 i am not even gonna dignify that wwer. 415 00:15:42,405 --> 00:15:45,593 Especial I picked out all these throw pillows for in here, 416 00:15:45,606 --> 00:15:47,200 and you didn't even notice! 417 00:15:50,306 --> 00:15:51,091 Hey, everyone. 418 00:15:51,105 --> 00:15:52,293 I know what you're thinking. 419 00:15:52,306 --> 00:15:54,891 How did I lose 25 pounds in one day? 420 00:15:54,907 --> 00:15:55,690 I didn'T. 421 00:15:55,706 --> 00:15:56,892 It's visual trickery. 422 00:15:56,907 --> 00:15:58,900 Drawing the eye up. 423 00:16:00,805 --> 00:16:02,992 hey, liz, you gotta see this. 424 00:16:03,006 --> 00:16:04,503 Jenna looks bananas-- 425 00:16:06,508 --> 00:16:09,390 Nope, the real crazy is in here. 426 00:16:09,406 --> 00:16:10,691 Liz lost it. 427 00:16:10,706 --> 00:16:11,692 It was on sale. 428 00:16:11,705 --> 00:16:12,891 I thought you and floyd broke up. 429 00:16:12,906 --> 00:16:15,590 We did, and I am doing great with it. 430 00:16:15,606 --> 00:16:17,292 I just bought a dress. 431 00:16:17,306 --> 00:16:21,093 Because, you know, I don't need society's permission to buy a white dress 432 00:16:21,106 --> 00:16:23,090 i mean, who says this is a wedding dress anyway? 433 00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:24,793 In korea, they wear ite to funerals. 434 00:16:24,807 --> 00:16:25,590 All right, uh, 435 00:16:25,607 --> 00:16:26,690 I'm in charge now. 436 00:16:26,705 --> 00:16:28,300 Everyone go home. 437 00:16:28,506 --> 00:16:29,591 I'm not crazy, frank. 438 00:16:29,606 --> 00:16:31,190 I'm making a statement. 439 00:16:31,205 --> 00:16:31,991 That, if need be, 440 00:16:32,007 --> 00:16:33,490 I will marry myself. 441 00:16:33,506 --> 00:16:37,192 And I am not embarrassed that you guys are seeing me wearing this. 442 00:16:37,206 --> 00:16:40,891 So you're intending to wear that...all day. 443 00:16:40,905 --> 00:16:43,293 Yeah, chocolate rain, maybe I am. 444 00:16:43,305 --> 00:16:45,290 liz, um, seinfeld's here, 445 00:16:45,308 --> 00:16:46,492 and jack's not ready for him. 446 00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:48,702 So you need to give him another tour. 447 00:16:51,006 --> 00:16:52,103 Wonderful. 448 00:16:58,605 --> 00:16:59,901 Hello, jerry. 449 00:17:00,306 --> 00:17:01,490 Well, well, well. 450 00:17:01,506 --> 00:17:03,190 So you called that boyfriend. 451 00:17:03,206 --> 00:17:04,390 Yes, I did. 452 00:17:04,405 --> 00:17:05,391 And it went well? 453 00:17:05,408 --> 00:17:07,200 No, it didn't, jer. 454 00:17:07,206 --> 00:17:08,390 A woman answered. 455 00:17:08,405 --> 00:17:10,092 Another woman already? 456 00:17:10,107 --> 00:17:11,193 What did you say to her? 457 00:17:11,205 --> 00:17:12,193 I did a fake survey. 458 00:17:12,205 --> 00:17:13,490 You did the fake survey? 459 00:17:13,506 --> 00:17:14,290 I know. 460 00:17:14,305 --> 00:17:15,390 I'm not over it! 461 00:17:15,408 --> 00:17:16,891 And now I'm wearing this! 462 00:17:16,908 --> 00:17:19,593 What is the deal with my life? 463 00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:20,893 Are you imitating me? 464 00:17:20,907 --> 00:17:24,092 No! This is what i sound like when I cry! 465 00:17:24,107 --> 00:17:25,790 I think I'm a little insulted! 466 00:17:25,805 --> 00:17:26,692 You're insulteying! 467 00:17:26,705 --> 00:17:28,102 ********* 468 00:17:44,305 --> 00:17:45,092 I got nothin'. 469 00:17:45,105 --> 00:17:46,391 Mr. Seinfeld's here. 470 00:17:46,405 --> 00:17:47,601 I got nothing. 471 00:17:48,607 --> 00:17:49,592 Oh, jerry, wonderful. 472 00:17:49,605 --> 00:17:51,703 Please, come in, come in. 473 00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:53,292 Can I get you some water? 474 00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:54,493 No, thank you. 475 00:17:54,506 --> 00:17:55,491 Would you like some tea, 476 00:17:55,505 --> 00:17:56,593 some coffee, some ice coffee, 477 00:17:56,605 --> 00:17:57,292 we have ice tea, 478 00:17:57,305 --> 00:17:57,891 we have some juice-- 479 00:17:57,906 --> 00:17:59,493 all right, I'll just-- 480 00:17:59,505 --> 00:18:01,390 gimme a water if that moves it along. 481 00:18:01,406 --> 00:18:02,290 Okay. 482 00:18:02,306 --> 00:18:03,590 Boy, have I got a presentation for you. 483 00:18:03,607 --> 00:18:06,001 This presentation is going to, uh, 484 00:18:06,206 --> 00:18:07,191 knock your socks off. 485 00:18:07,205 --> 00:18:10,790 Here, let me close ts window so we don't have any glare on the monitor. 486 00:18:10,806 --> 00:18:11,491 Ho weekend? 487 00:18:11,505 --> 00:18:12,492 It's thursday. 488 00:18:12,506 --> 00:18:14,091 Well, I mean last weekend. 489 00:18:14,107 --> 00:18:15,093 It was very nice. 490 00:18:15,105 --> 00:18:17,191 Can we just move this presentation along, please? 491 00:18:17,205 --> 00:18:18,700 It's seinfeldvision. 492 00:18:18,908 --> 00:18:20,403 I'm giving america... 493 00:18:21,407 --> 00:18:22,903 the programs they like... 494 00:18:23,406 --> 00:18:25,002 with a star that they love. 495 00:18:25,305 --> 00:18:28,202 For one...incredible month... 496 00:18:28,405 --> 00:18:29,490 of television. 497 00:18:29,505 --> 00:18:30,793 What the hell are you doing? 498 00:18:30,805 --> 00:18:33,902 God--oh, god, jerry! 499 00:18:34,406 --> 00:18:35,502 I got nothing! 500 00:18:35,505 --> 00:18:36,590 I got nothing! 501 00:18:36,607 --> 00:18:39,093 You've got to do this for me, please! 502 00:18:39,107 --> 00:18:41,591 Oh, god, I've already sold the ad time! 503 00:18:41,605 --> 00:18:43,303 What is wrong with you people? 504 00:18:43,707 --> 00:18:45,402 What's happened to this network? 505 00:18:47,708 --> 00:18:49,500 Call off your goons! 506 00:18:50,308 --> 00:18:51,303 All right, kenneth. 507 00:18:51,406 --> 00:18:52,803 All right, listen, seinfeld. 508 00:18:53,007 --> 00:18:58,400 I'll give you $1 million and five free commercials for your animated feature bee movie, 509 00:18:58,806 --> 00:19:00,491 and you let me run this for one week. 510 00:19:00,507 --> 00:19:02,793 2 million to the charity of my choice, 511 00:19:02,806 --> 00:19:04,592 ten free commercials for bee movie, 512 00:19:04,607 --> 00:19:05,691 opening november 2nd, 513 00:19:05,706 --> 00:19:06,991 and I do nothing. 514 00:19:07,006 --> 00:19:08,492 you let me run seinfeldvision for three nigh 515 00:19:08,505 --> 00:19:11,701 i'll give you $1.5 million or the charity of your choice, 516 00:19:11,905 --> 00:19:14,401 unlimited free promotions on the today show, 517 00:19:14,705 --> 00:19:17,000 and you give me the name of that country you went to. 518 00:19:17,506 --> 00:19:18,891 One night. 519 00:19:18,907 --> 00:19:19,992 Doctors without borders. 520 00:19:20,006 --> 00:19:22,100 Roker in a bee costume. 521 00:19:24,908 --> 00:19:26,500 Grenyarnia. 522 00:19:26,507 --> 00:19:27,602 Oh, god! 523 00:19:37,107 --> 00:19:38,303 Oh, no! 524 00:19:38,606 --> 00:19:40,700 Did a korean person die? 525 00:19:41,406 --> 00:19:42,392 No, tracy. 526 00:19:42,407 --> 00:19:43,602 It's a wedding dress. 527 00:19:44,707 --> 00:19:46,202 Don't do it, liz lemon. 528 00:19:47,506 --> 00:19:51,302 I know what me and kenneth have looks perfect on the outside, 529 00:19:51,707 --> 00:19:53,092 but it's work, damn it. 530 00:19:53,107 --> 00:19:54,501 It's work. 531 00:20:05,605 --> 00:20:06,791 How'd it go with seinfeld? 532 00:20:06,807 --> 00:20:08,301 I think I pulled it off. 533 00:20:09,206 --> 00:20:10,193 Good god, lemon, 534 00:20:10,207 --> 00:20:11,700 what's happened to you? 535 00:20:11,808 --> 00:20:13,491 I thought this was going to be your year. 536 00:20:13,508 --> 00:20:15,802 I couldn't even hold it together one week. 537 00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:17,092 I'm not you, jack. 538 00:20:17,107 --> 00:20:19,391 I can't have a heart attack and pretend like it never happened. 539 00:20:19,407 --> 00:20:21,692 I can't break up with someone and immediately recover. 540 00:20:21,706 --> 00:20:22,293 I'm not you. 541 00:20:22,306 --> 00:20:23,501 I'm just me. 542 00:20:23,506 --> 00:20:25,892 Lemon, don't ever say you're just you. 543 00:20:25,907 --> 00:20:28,001 Because you are better than you. 544 00:20:28,308 --> 00:20:30,092 And I am not going to let you give up. 545 00:20:30,106 --> 00:20:32,301 This is going to be our year. 546 00:20:34,606 --> 00:20:35,800 Now, give me the ham. 547 00:20:36,906 --> 00:20:37,992 I like the ham. 548 00:20:38,006 --> 00:20:39,000 Come on. 549 00:20:39,007 --> 00:20:40,001 -=www.ydy.com/bbs=- Proudly Presents 550 00:20:40,005 --> 00:20:42,001 -=www.ydy.com/bbs=- Sync: YTET- xjeff0 551 00:20:42,006 --> 00:20:43,000 30.Rock Season 02 Episode 01 552 00:20:46,507 --> 00:20:48,902 $4, 000 ham napkin. 553 00:20:53,308 --> 00:20:54,803 I look pretty, though, right? 554 00:20:55,308 --> 00:20:56,801 Don't push it, lemon. 555 00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:00,064 Download Movie Subtitles Searcher from www.OpenSubtitles.org 556 00:21:00,114 --> 00:21:04,664 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 38666

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