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00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,000
Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org
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00:00:05,455 --> 00:00:06,418
Hey!
3
00:00:06,484 --> 00:00:08,048
Did you know
that everybody here
4
00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:10,319
Went out last night without us?
5
00:00:10,387 --> 00:00:12,927
Oh, nerds!
6
00:00:16,427 --> 00:00:17,563
Nerds?
7
00:00:20,335 --> 00:00:21,935
Nerds.
8
00:00:22,002 --> 00:00:23,531
Yeah, Thursday night thunder.
9
00:00:23,599 --> 00:00:25,226
That's been going on for years.
10
00:00:25,294 --> 00:00:27,294
You know about it? How come
I've never been invited?
11
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:28,829
Don't you think
th's a little bit rude?
12
00:00:28,896 --> 00:00:30,195
Well, I yelled "baba booey"
13
00:00:30,262 --> 00:00:31,825
At Walter Cronkite's funeral,
14
00:00:31,892 --> 00:00:34,983
So I actually have no idea
of what's rude or not.
15
00:00:35,050 --> 00:00:36,085
- Yeah, well, let me...
16
00:00:36,152 --> 00:00:37,553
- But I couldn't thunder
last night,
17
00:00:37,621 --> 00:00:39,021
Because I had to take
Angie to the ER.
18
00:00:39,088 --> 00:00:41,223
She had some complications
with her pregnancy,
19
00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:43,558
So that kind of trumps
your little problem.
20
00:00:43,626 --> 00:00:46,494
Ah, yeah, you're right.
How is she?
21
00:00:46,561 --> 00:00:48,162
Well, she's fine,
and the baby's fine,
22
00:00:48,230 --> 00:00:49,530
But they put her on bed rest
23
00:00:49,597 --> 00:00:50,931
Till her blood pressure
goes down.
24
00:00:50,998 --> 00:00:52,932
Well, listen, tray,
if there's anything I can do,
25
00:00:52,999 --> 00:00:54,065
Please let me know.
26
00:00:54,133 --> 00:00:55,366
There's one thing.
27
00:00:55,434 --> 00:00:57,034
Could you take care of Angie
like a husband
28
00:00:57,102 --> 00:00:59,035
Until this whole ass-ache
blows over?
29
00:00:59,103 --> 00:01:00,336
Absolutely not.
30
00:01:00,404 --> 00:01:01,337
What about you, k?
31
00:01:01,405 --> 00:01:02,905
I'm on it, sir!
32
00:01:04,674 --> 00:01:07,575
[exciting jazz music]
33
00:01:07,642 --> 00:01:15,682
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
34
00:01:26,492 --> 00:01:27,692
Oh, my.
35
00:01:27,759 --> 00:01:29,626
I haven't seen your brow
that furrowed
36
00:01:29,694 --> 00:01:32,228
Since you saw that picture
of Helen mirren in a bikini.
37
00:01:32,296 --> 00:01:33,965
How is it possible?
Is she a wizard?
38
00:01:34,032 --> 00:01:35,466
A question
for another time, Lemon.
39
00:01:35,534 --> 00:01:36,934
I was with Avery last night,
40
00:01:37,002 --> 00:01:39,237
And I almost had
a Nancy-related incident.
41
00:01:39,304 --> 00:01:40,639
Oh, Jack.
42
00:01:40,706 --> 00:01:42,407
Oh, Nan...
43
00:01:42,475 --> 00:01:43,506
Na.
44
00:01:43,573 --> 00:01:44,504
What?
45
00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:45,871
I was saying,
"oh, Nana."
46
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,307
Have I not told you
about my grandmother fetish?
47
00:01:48,374 --> 00:01:51,076
Avery actually tried
to get on board.
48
00:01:51,143 --> 00:01:52,377
Later that night,
49
00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:53,811
She put some mothballs
behind her ears
50
00:01:53,879 --> 00:01:54,812
And fed me peppermints.
51
00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:56,648
She is in it to win it.
52
00:01:56,715 --> 00:01:58,116
This can't go on.
53
00:01:58,184 --> 00:02:01,620
I'm making a decision
about Nancy and Avery today.
54
00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:03,187
I'm going in the bunker.
55
00:02:03,255 --> 00:02:04,655
No distractions.
56
00:02:04,722 --> 00:02:06,072
I had Jonathan remove the bar
57
00:02:06,140 --> 00:02:08,338
And my collection
of 18th century french erotica.
58
00:02:08,406 --> 00:02:10,306
I've had to make
some tough calls over the years,
59
00:02:10,374 --> 00:02:12,008
Switching sheinhardt's
wig production
60
00:02:12,076 --> 00:02:14,010
To 100% chinese cadaver hair,
61
00:02:14,077 --> 00:02:17,013
Turning down Dick Cheney's
offer to become king of Iraq,
62
00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:20,483
Selecting
the brand-new logo for NBC.
63
00:02:20,551 --> 00:02:21,984
[NBC chime plays] it's fresh.
64
00:02:22,052 --> 00:02:23,219
But this Nancy-Avery thing
65
00:02:23,287 --> 00:02:26,389
Is the toughest decision
I've ever had to make.
66
00:02:26,456 --> 00:02:28,291
Well, I'm glad
you're taking it seriously.
67
00:02:28,358 --> 00:02:31,327
Although, sometimes when
you try so hard to find love,
68
00:02:31,395 --> 00:02:33,996
You can't see that it's been
standing in front of you
69
00:02:34,064 --> 00:02:35,464
The whole time.
Oh, good God.
70
00:02:35,532 --> 00:02:36,465
[laughing]
71
00:02:36,533 --> 00:02:37,567
What did you
come in here for?
72
00:02:37,634 --> 00:02:39,602
[sighs]
73
00:02:39,670 --> 00:02:42,705
Last night, I saw
my entire staff out at a bar.
74
00:02:42,773 --> 00:02:44,041
They go out every week
and I'm never invited.
75
00:02:44,608 --> 00:02:45,708
Do they not even like me?
76
00:02:45,776 --> 00:02:47,277
Oh, don't worry.
It's healthy.
77
00:02:47,344 --> 00:02:49,012
Bosses need to keep
their distance
78
00:02:49,079 --> 00:02:50,380
From their subordinates.
79
00:02:50,447 --> 00:02:52,515
Mr. Donaghy, I have to
run out to Mr. Jordan's house.
80
00:02:52,583 --> 00:02:54,117
I'll call you when I get there
so you know I'm safe.
81
00:02:54,185 --> 00:02:55,451
No! I don't care
if you're safe!
82
00:02:55,519 --> 00:02:56,653
I love you!
83
00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:57,787
After four years,
84
00:02:57,855 --> 00:02:59,589
I thought I was close
with these people.
85
00:02:59,657 --> 00:03:01,024
I thought we were a family.
86
00:03:01,091 --> 00:03:02,192
Don't say family.
87
00:03:02,259 --> 00:03:03,760
Then I see them
out at a bar without me,
88
00:03:03,827 --> 00:03:05,361
Giving each other
windmill high-fives?
89
00:03:05,429 --> 00:03:06,729
Like in top gun.
90
00:03:06,797 --> 00:03:08,631
But this is your staff.
You can't let it bother you.
91
00:03:08,699 --> 00:03:11,067
You could always come up here
and have a drink with me,
92
00:03:11,135 --> 00:03:12,135
A fellow manager.
93
00:03:12,203 --> 00:03:13,570
Oh, great,
that sounds really fun.
94
00:03:13,637 --> 00:03:15,572
I'll just pour myself a drink.
95
00:03:18,409 --> 00:03:22,378
Oh, I dropped my glass!
96
00:03:22,446 --> 00:03:23,846
Is that supposed
to be a broom?
97
00:03:23,914 --> 00:03:25,048
Anchor the handle.
98
00:03:25,115 --> 00:03:26,082
Yeah.
99
00:03:26,150 --> 00:03:27,217
There it is.
100
00:03:30,588 --> 00:03:33,556
[cell phone vibrates]
101
00:03:33,624 --> 00:03:35,625
This better be important.
I'm in a meeting.
102
00:03:35,693 --> 00:03:36,726
Mr. Jordan,
103
00:03:36,794 --> 00:03:39,429
The situation here
has deteriorated.
104
00:03:39,496 --> 00:03:40,663
Great update, Ken.
105
00:03:40,731 --> 00:03:42,365
Thanks for checking in.
Talk to you later.
106
00:03:42,433 --> 00:03:43,399
Actually, sir,
107
00:03:43,467 --> 00:03:45,735
I think you should come home.
108
00:03:45,736 --> 00:03:46,736
***
109
00:03:48,403 --> 00:03:49,803
If she sees me again.
110
00:03:49,871 --> 00:03:51,805
She wants you to come help her.
111
00:03:51,873 --> 00:03:53,106
What? But why?
112
00:03:53,174 --> 00:03:55,409
You're much better
at that serving stuff than I am.
113
00:03:55,476 --> 00:03:56,777
Well, your wife thinks
114
00:03:56,845 --> 00:03:58,979
Taking care of her
should be your job
115
00:03:59,047 --> 00:04:00,814
And I have to agree, sir.
116
00:04:00,882 --> 00:04:02,516
You made a promise
to care for her
117
00:04:02,584 --> 00:04:03,508
In sickness and in health.
118
00:04:03,776 --> 00:04:05,410
Don't you remember
your wedding vows?
119
00:04:05,477 --> 00:04:07,845
To be honest, I couldn't
really understand anything
120
00:04:07,913 --> 00:04:09,380
Rick James was saying.
121
00:04:09,448 --> 00:04:10,648
Come home, Mr. Jordan.
122
00:04:10,716 --> 00:04:12,250
Mrs. Jordan needs you.
123
00:04:12,318 --> 00:04:14,152
Fine, I'll be there soon.
124
00:04:14,219 --> 00:04:15,420
And if you get hungry,
125
00:04:15,487 --> 00:04:17,555
You can help yourself
to anything in the fridge,
126
00:04:17,623 --> 00:04:18,790
And once I'm there,
127
00:04:18,857 --> 00:04:20,592
I'll determine
how much to charge you.
128
00:04:20,659 --> 00:04:21,626
[phone beeps]
129
00:04:21,694 --> 00:04:23,061
[exhales]
130
00:04:26,298 --> 00:04:27,699
Hey, buddies.
131
00:04:27,766 --> 00:04:29,968
Anybody do anything fun
last night?
132
00:04:31,236 --> 00:04:33,204
What about you, Frank?
What did you do?
133
00:04:33,272 --> 00:04:35,173
I, uh, had a...
134
00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:36,374
Doctor's appointment.
135
00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:37,775
Oh, really?
For what?
136
00:04:37,843 --> 00:04:39,110
Oh, uh...
137
00:04:39,178 --> 00:04:42,213
Oh, God, it looks like
the underside of an octopus!
138
00:04:42,281 --> 00:04:44,048
Hey, Liz, can I talk
to you and Jenna in...
139
00:04:44,116 --> 00:04:46,117
The office where everyone
clips their toenails?
140
00:04:46,185 --> 00:04:47,518
Not cool, guys.
141
00:04:49,755 --> 00:04:50,788
As you guys know,
142
00:04:50,856 --> 00:04:52,490
I'm getting married
on may 22nd.
143
00:04:52,558 --> 00:04:53,691
You are? Still?
144
00:04:53,959 --> 00:04:55,159
Well, it was off for a while,
145
00:04:55,227 --> 00:04:56,828
Because my fiance
was on his dad's yacht
146
00:04:56,895 --> 00:04:58,196
And got captured by pirates,
147
00:04:58,263 --> 00:05:01,032
But now,
thanks to the a-team, he's back.
148
00:05:01,099 --> 00:05:02,233
Sure.
149
00:05:02,301 --> 00:05:03,501
He has
a different energy now.
150
00:05:03,569 --> 00:05:05,036
He's quieter.
151
00:05:05,103 --> 00:05:06,838
But we're getting married.
152
00:05:06,905 --> 00:05:07,872
And are we still
in the wedding?
153
00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:09,340
Of course.
154
00:05:09,408 --> 00:05:11,275
The bridesmaids are you guys,
Andy roddick's wife,
155
00:05:11,343 --> 00:05:12,510
My dutch cousins,
156
00:05:12,578 --> 00:05:14,579
And Penelope cruz's
hotter sister Monica.
157
00:05:14,646 --> 00:05:16,514
You're gonna be
so out of place, Liz.
158
00:05:16,582 --> 00:05:17,849
Anyway, my mom said
that if you guys
159
00:05:17,916 --> 00:05:18,983
Are gonna
throw me a work party,
160
00:05:19,051 --> 00:05:20,251
It has to be this week.
161
00:05:20,319 --> 00:05:22,019
- Oh, no! Really?
- Yeah, I know. I'm sorry.
162
00:05:22,087 --> 00:05:23,437
It's just that the schedule's
really filling up
163
00:05:23,845 --> 00:05:25,345
Now that aris
is finally getting over
164
00:05:25,413 --> 00:05:26,380
His Stockholm syndrome.
165
00:05:26,448 --> 00:05:27,748
Oh, that reminds me.
166
00:05:27,816 --> 00:05:28,882
You guys may have to walk
down the aisle
167
00:05:28,950 --> 00:05:30,451
With some pirates.
168
00:05:30,518 --> 00:05:32,486
It's just, I don't think
I can plan a party this week.
169
00:05:32,554 --> 00:05:33,554
I'm doing a juice fast,
170
00:05:33,621 --> 00:05:35,055
And it's making me
really grouchy.
171
00:05:35,123 --> 00:05:37,057
Aah!
172
00:05:37,125 --> 00:05:38,358
You know what?
This is perfect.
173
00:05:38,426 --> 00:05:40,627
I'll have that party...
Tonight,
174
00:05:40,695 --> 00:05:42,096
And it'll be fun,
175
00:05:42,163 --> 00:05:44,031
And you'll all see
that I'm fun.
176
00:05:44,099 --> 00:05:45,532
So screw both of you!
177
00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:47,301
And screw everybody out here!
178
00:05:47,368 --> 00:05:49,470
Liz Lemon is having a party!
179
00:05:49,537 --> 00:05:50,737
[rapping] * and they're
ain't no party *
180
00:05:50,805 --> 00:05:52,072
* like a Liz Lemon party *
181
00:05:52,140 --> 00:05:54,475
* 'cause a Liz Lemon party
is mandatory *
182
00:05:59,062 --> 00:06:00,195
All right, Donaghy,
183
00:06:00,263 --> 00:06:02,898
Follow your heart.
184
00:06:02,965 --> 00:06:05,133
"hard equations
and rational thinking."
185
00:06:14,444 --> 00:06:16,311
Damn you, heart.
186
00:06:24,921 --> 00:06:26,621
[panting]
187
00:06:26,689 --> 00:06:27,622
I'm sorry, sir.
188
00:06:27,690 --> 00:06:29,458
There's
a minor janitor problem.
189
00:06:29,525 --> 00:06:30,892
I apologize for letting
a kashmiri
190
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:32,294
Into your office.
191
00:06:32,361 --> 00:06:34,362
I just need five minutes
of your time, Mr. Donaghy.
192
00:06:34,430 --> 00:06:38,567
[speaking hindi]
193
00:06:42,672 --> 00:06:44,773
Now would be a good time,
actually,
194
00:06:44,841 --> 00:06:46,374
To handle
the janitor situation.
195
00:06:46,442 --> 00:06:47,809
- But, sir, what about...
196
00:06:47,877 --> 00:06:49,244
- I always say bosses
should stay
197
00:06:49,312 --> 00:06:50,946
Deeply involved
with their subordinates.
198
00:06:51,013 --> 00:06:52,547
Does this mean you're coming
to my cabaret?
199
00:06:52,615 --> 00:06:55,984
Jonathan, close the door.
200
00:06:56,052 --> 00:06:57,886
Please.
201
00:06:57,954 --> 00:07:00,655
So what can I do for you?
202
00:07:00,723 --> 00:07:01,312
It has been a week,
203
00:07:01,380 --> 00:07:03,181
And I've heard
nothing from you, sir.
204
00:07:03,249 --> 00:07:04,449
Have you forgotten
our agreement
205
00:07:04,517 --> 00:07:06,017
About me taking over 11:30?
206
00:07:06,085 --> 00:07:08,319
I'm sorry. What?
207
00:07:08,387 --> 00:07:10,021
Five years ago,
I threatened to quit
208
00:07:10,089 --> 00:07:12,123
Unless you got me
out of the late night shift.
209
00:07:12,191 --> 00:07:14,492
Wow, other than
some notable recent exceptions,
210
00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:16,528
Nbc never guarantees
employment terms
211
00:07:16,595 --> 00:07:18,129
Five years in advance.
212
00:07:18,197 --> 00:07:19,798
I have a contract.
213
00:07:21,767 --> 00:07:23,368
That is my signature.
214
00:07:23,436 --> 00:07:26,938
You signed it
on April 22, 2005.
215
00:07:27,006 --> 00:07:29,040
Okay, in my defense,
every April 22nd,
216
00:07:29,108 --> 00:07:31,409
I honor Richard Nixon's death
by getting drunk
217
00:07:31,477 --> 00:07:33,278
And making
some unpopular decisions.
218
00:07:33,345 --> 00:07:34,879
Well, I want
the earlier shift.
219
00:07:34,947 --> 00:07:36,481
It's better pay
and more prestigious.
220
00:07:36,549 --> 00:07:38,316
Ever since I am a little boy,
221
00:07:38,384 --> 00:07:40,719
I am dreaming
of hosing the tonight shift.
222
00:07:40,786 --> 00:07:42,153
Okay. Uh, calm down,
223
00:07:42,221 --> 00:07:44,022
Uh, Khonani.
224
00:07:44,090 --> 00:07:45,790
I understand
that I made you a promise,
225
00:07:45,858 --> 00:07:48,126
And we're going to keep it,
because this is NBC...
226
00:07:48,194 --> 00:07:50,028
[NBC chime plays]
the biggest loser network.
227
00:07:50,096 --> 00:07:51,629
So you'll fix this?
Today?
228
00:07:51,697 --> 00:07:54,365
Well, this is
a janitor emergency,
229
00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:55,500
And I really have no choice
230
00:07:55,568 --> 00:07:57,168
But to make it
my number one priority.
231
00:07:57,236 --> 00:07:58,803
Good. Thank you.
232
00:07:58,871 --> 00:08:00,371
Can I have those pictures
233
00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:02,974
For a special book
the janitors keep?
234
00:08:03,042 --> 00:08:04,709
Absolutely not.
235
00:08:08,647 --> 00:08:09,748
[dog snarling]
Aah!
236
00:08:09,815 --> 00:08:11,182
Good monster!
237
00:08:11,250 --> 00:08:12,751
Good scary monster!
238
00:08:12,818 --> 00:08:15,820
Hey, Ken, isn't that
a fun place to stand?
239
00:08:15,888 --> 00:08:19,046
Oh, I forgot to warn you
about my dog, Tracy senior.
240
00:08:19,214 --> 00:08:21,015
I trained him
to hate white people,
241
00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:22,049
Because, not to profile,
242
00:08:22,117 --> 00:08:23,484
But most ghosts are white.
243
00:08:23,552 --> 00:08:25,686
This is my boy here.
244
00:08:25,754 --> 00:08:27,321
And look what Angie did to him.
245
00:08:27,389 --> 00:08:29,356
She set up an invisible fence.
246
00:08:29,424 --> 00:08:31,725
He gets shocked if he tries
to leave the property,
247
00:08:31,793 --> 00:08:34,028
Just because he'd run away
and cause car accidents
248
00:08:34,096 --> 00:08:36,263
And impregnate
neighbors' horses.
249
00:08:36,331 --> 00:08:38,099
He's trapped here just like me!
250
00:08:38,166 --> 00:08:40,034
Sir, you're not trapped.
251
00:08:40,102 --> 00:08:43,070
Mrs. Jordan just wants you
to be here for her.
252
00:08:43,138 --> 00:08:44,205
I'm trying, Ken,
253
00:08:44,272 --> 00:08:45,606
And I want to be responsible,
254
00:08:45,674 --> 00:08:47,842
But I've been me
for a long time.
255
00:08:47,909 --> 00:08:49,577
Well, Mrs. Jordan
isn't asking for a lot.
256
00:08:49,644 --> 00:08:50,978
Right now,
she just has a craving
257
00:08:51,046 --> 00:08:52,446
For a peanut butter
and jelly sandwich.
258
00:08:52,514 --> 00:08:54,715
No, we're not supposed
to do any sex stuff
259
00:08:54,783 --> 00:08:56,283
While she's on bed rest.
260
00:08:56,351 --> 00:08:59,353
Oh! Like a real one!
261
00:08:59,421 --> 00:09:00,421
I'm on it!
262
00:09:02,858 --> 00:09:03,791
Maybe this'll get Angie
263
00:09:03,859 --> 00:09:05,292
To stop calling me
irresponsible.
264
00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:06,861
Just stay focused
265
00:09:06,928 --> 00:09:09,463
And take this sandwich
to my wife.
266
00:09:09,531 --> 00:09:10,531
Nope!
267
00:09:10,599 --> 00:09:12,433
I'm in a strip club!
My bad!
268
00:09:14,870 --> 00:09:17,304
Hey, Jenna, if I'm expecting
about 20 people tonight,
269
00:09:17,372 --> 00:09:18,672
How much ice should I get?
270
00:09:18,740 --> 00:09:20,808
Oh, you don't want
to mess with that stuff, Liz.
271
00:09:20,876 --> 00:09:23,144
Ice has caused a lot of ods
in the porn community.
272
00:09:23,211 --> 00:09:25,880
Oh, you mean frozen water?
I don't know.
273
00:09:25,947 --> 00:09:27,882
Well, I just don't
want to forget anything.
274
00:09:27,949 --> 00:09:30,184
Don't worry.
No one's expecting a lot.
275
00:09:30,252 --> 00:09:31,719
No, tonight
is gonna be different.
276
00:09:31,786 --> 00:09:33,787
There's gonna be booze
and a karaoke machine
277
00:09:33,855 --> 00:09:35,022
And that Black Eyed Peas song
278
00:09:35,090 --> 00:09:36,223
They wrote for bar mitzvahs.
279
00:09:36,291 --> 00:09:37,914
[on speaker] Jenna Maroney
to the floor.
280
00:09:38,002 --> 00:09:40,103
Sure, it will.
281
00:09:40,171 --> 00:09:41,104
Hello?
282
00:09:41,172 --> 00:09:42,338
Lemon, you know Subhas,
283
00:09:42,406 --> 00:09:44,240
The current
first-shift janitor?
284
00:09:44,308 --> 00:09:45,475
Uh, kind of.
285
00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:47,043
According
to the janitor community,
286
00:09:47,111 --> 00:09:48,111
You call him frequently
287
00:09:48,179 --> 00:09:49,579
Regarding
home toilet situations.
288
00:09:49,647 --> 00:09:50,814
No, it's not that.
We're dating.
289
00:09:50,881 --> 00:09:51,881
Lemon, please.
290
00:09:51,949 --> 00:09:53,950
Look, I just need
his phone number.
291
00:09:54,018 --> 00:09:55,819
What does this have to do
with Avery and Nancy?
292
00:09:55,886 --> 00:09:56,886
That is taking a backseat
293
00:09:56,954 --> 00:09:58,788
To this janitor situation
right now.
294
00:09:58,856 --> 00:10:00,657
I need Subhas to step down.
295
00:10:00,724 --> 00:10:02,058
But Subhas does a great job.
296
00:10:02,126 --> 00:10:03,193
Look, five years ago,
297
00:10:03,260 --> 00:10:05,128
I promised Khonani
the earlier shift.
298
00:10:05,196 --> 00:10:06,563
Why would you ever
promise that?
299
00:10:06,630 --> 00:10:08,097
Honestly, these immigrants
have a tough life,
300
00:10:08,165 --> 00:10:09,165
No health care,
301
00:10:09,233 --> 00:10:10,834
And I kind of just thought
he'd die
302
00:10:10,901 --> 00:10:12,168
Before it became a thing.
303
00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:13,970
Are you sure that
you're not just using this
304
00:10:14,038 --> 00:10:16,139
As an excuse to avoid
your real problem?
305
00:10:16,207 --> 00:10:18,441
Lemon, this is
a janitor emergency.
306
00:10:18,509 --> 00:10:19,542
I need that phone number.
307
00:10:19,610 --> 00:10:20,577
Okay, let me find it.
308
00:10:20,644 --> 00:10:22,245
Subhas...Scrolling.
309
00:10:22,313 --> 00:10:24,047
- I know you know it by heart.
- 917...
310
00:10:26,617 --> 00:10:27,851
All right, Khonani,
311
00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:29,752
If I've learned anything
from recent experience
312
00:10:29,820 --> 00:10:31,387
It's that we have to handle
this next step
313
00:10:31,455 --> 00:10:32,956
With Subhas very delicately.
314
00:10:33,023 --> 00:10:33,957
Oh, don't worry.
315
00:10:34,024 --> 00:10:35,491
Subhas will want to leave,
316
00:10:35,559 --> 00:10:36,926
Spend time on his hobbies.
317
00:10:36,994 --> 00:10:39,863
He collects classic car...
[coughing]
318
00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:41,097
Cardboard.
319
00:10:41,165 --> 00:10:42,999
Classic cardboard.
320
00:10:43,067 --> 00:10:44,367
[dog growling]
321
00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:45,969
Ken!
322
00:10:46,036 --> 00:10:48,371
Why did you let me
go to a strip club?
323
00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:50,273
I tried to stop you, sir,
324
00:10:50,341 --> 00:10:51,574
But you threw your dog at me!
325
00:10:51,642 --> 00:10:54,110
This is bad,
because I can't change!
326
00:10:54,178 --> 00:10:56,802
I'm like a chameleon,
always a lizard!
327
00:10:57,650 --> 00:10:58,984
[cell phone vibrates]
328
00:10:59,051 --> 00:11:01,353
This better be a meeting,
'cause I'm important!
329
00:11:01,421 --> 00:11:02,554
Tracy, it's Liz.
330
00:11:02,622 --> 00:11:04,256
I want you to know
that at my party tonight,
331
00:11:04,324 --> 00:11:05,657
You're off the leash.
332
00:11:05,725 --> 00:11:07,059
I want to see the behavior
333
00:11:07,127 --> 00:11:09,361
That got you kicked out
of the inaugural ball.
334
00:11:09,429 --> 00:11:10,462
I can't, l.L.
335
00:11:10,530 --> 00:11:12,231
First of all,
the secret service
336
00:11:12,298 --> 00:11:14,433
Never gave me back
my t-shirt cannon,
337
00:11:14,501 --> 00:11:15,601
And second of all,
338
00:11:15,668 --> 00:11:17,403
I gotta stay home
and take care of Angie!
339
00:11:17,470 --> 00:11:18,537
What? No!
340
00:11:18,605 --> 00:11:20,272
Come on, you have to come.
I need you.
341
00:11:20,340 --> 00:11:21,640
This party
has to be off the hook.
342
00:11:21,708 --> 00:11:23,342
People don't say
that anymore.
343
00:11:23,410 --> 00:11:25,411
They say
"surf party, usa."
344
00:11:25,478 --> 00:11:26,912
Tracy, this is important.
345
00:11:26,980 --> 00:11:28,781
I have to prove
to my co-workers
346
00:11:28,848 --> 00:11:31,250
That I am not some angry,
un-fun woman,
347
00:11:31,317 --> 00:11:33,118
Who doesn't deserve
to be included.
348
00:11:33,186 --> 00:11:37,122
[speaking german]
349
00:11:37,190 --> 00:11:39,958
Look, Liz Lemon,
I know your feelings are hurt,
350
00:11:40,026 --> 00:11:41,493
But parties are like frisbees.
351
00:11:41,561 --> 00:11:43,328
If you throw them
the wrong way,
352
00:11:43,396 --> 00:11:45,063
They'll veer off
in a bad direction,
353
00:11:45,131 --> 00:11:47,633
And then your kid
will fall into a quarry.
354
00:11:47,700 --> 00:11:48,767
What?
355
00:11:48,835 --> 00:11:50,469
Don't throw
a party for vengeance.
356
00:11:50,537 --> 00:11:52,037
It will turn on you,
357
00:11:52,105 --> 00:11:55,774
Like your wife after your kid
has fallen into a quarry.
358
00:11:55,842 --> 00:11:58,076
You know what? Fine.
I don't need you.
359
00:11:58,144 --> 00:12:01,747
I am gonna crush
this party Liz-Lemon style.
360
00:12:01,815 --> 00:12:03,315
I don't know what to do.
361
00:12:03,383 --> 00:12:04,516
A party's in trouble,
362
00:12:04,584 --> 00:12:05,818
And I'm the only one
that can save it,
363
00:12:05,885 --> 00:12:08,620
But your wife and
unborn daughter need you here.
364
00:12:08,688 --> 00:12:09,955
- I'm torn, k-pax.
365
00:12:10,023 --> 00:12:11,457
I know I should be here,
366
00:12:11,524 --> 00:12:13,625
But my body's gonna
take me to Liz Lemon's.
367
00:12:13,693 --> 00:12:14,660
What do I do?
368
00:12:14,727 --> 00:12:16,253
[dog whining]
369
00:12:19,821 --> 00:12:22,190
Put the electric
dog collar on me.
370
00:12:22,258 --> 00:12:24,392
It would be my honor.
371
00:12:27,002 --> 00:12:28,503
Subhas, thank you
for coming in
372
00:12:28,570 --> 00:12:31,406
And for showing me
your, uh, special book.
373
00:12:31,473 --> 00:12:33,408
More men in it
than I would have expected.
374
00:12:33,475 --> 00:12:34,542
Book is book.
375
00:12:34,610 --> 00:12:35,810
Indeed.
376
00:12:35,878 --> 00:12:38,713
Uh, Subhas, you've
been with us a long time,
377
00:12:38,781 --> 00:12:40,048
And you've
done great work here,
378
00:12:40,115 --> 00:12:41,549
But we need some new blood.
379
00:12:41,617 --> 00:12:43,718
I've decided that it's time
for you to step aside,
380
00:12:43,786 --> 00:12:45,887
And Khonani will take over
at 11:30.
381
00:12:45,954 --> 00:12:47,455
No! I'm in a union!
382
00:12:47,523 --> 00:12:48,589
Well, I have a contract!
383
00:12:48,657 --> 00:12:50,258
Meeting over!
384
00:12:50,326 --> 00:12:51,459
No, no, hold on.
385
00:12:51,527 --> 00:12:54,295
There's always another option.
386
00:12:54,363 --> 00:12:56,064
What of we re-invent
the way people
387
00:12:56,131 --> 00:12:57,699
Think about
their nightly trash removal?
388
00:12:57,766 --> 00:12:59,200
No, thank you.
389
00:12:59,268 --> 00:13:01,602
What if the night shift
just got a whole lot earlier?
390
00:13:01,670 --> 00:13:03,037
Gentlemen, there is a way
391
00:13:03,105 --> 00:13:04,405
For everybody to get
what they want
392
00:13:04,473 --> 00:13:06,074
And for me to look
like a genius and a hero.
393
00:13:06,141 --> 00:13:07,375
You're bullcrapping us.
394
00:13:07,443 --> 00:13:09,377
No, I am not.
I am "innoventing."
395
00:13:09,445 --> 00:13:11,612
A word that I just innovented.
396
00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:13,081
[laughs]
397
00:13:13,148 --> 00:13:14,415
NBC.
398
00:13:14,483 --> 00:13:16,050
[NBC chime plays]
399
00:13:16,118 --> 00:13:17,719
It's fresh.
400
00:13:19,488 --> 00:13:22,623
Man, Tracy senior
took off fast.
401
00:13:22,691 --> 00:13:24,292
He did not want to live here.
402
00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:25,660
Sir, far be it from me
403
00:13:25,728 --> 00:13:27,562
To question a plan
this well thought out,
404
00:13:27,629 --> 00:13:30,020
But what's going to keep you
from just taking the collar off?
405
00:13:30,088 --> 00:13:31,722
You're gonna pour glue
in the lock.
406
00:13:31,790 --> 00:13:35,225
That's how my kids keep me
out of the liquor cabinet.
407
00:13:35,293 --> 00:13:36,960
And, of course,
I'll be here to help.
408
00:13:37,028 --> 00:13:40,164
No, Ken, there's something
else you have to do...
409
00:13:40,231 --> 00:13:41,765
For all of us.
410
00:13:41,833 --> 00:13:45,202
Unfortunately, there's
only one Tracy Jordan,
411
00:13:45,270 --> 00:13:48,338
But sometimes
he's needed in two places.
412
00:13:51,242 --> 00:13:52,509
You're Tracy Jordan now.
413
00:13:52,577 --> 00:13:53,711
Go.
414
00:13:53,778 --> 00:13:55,079
Go save that party.
415
00:13:55,146 --> 00:13:56,280
Yes, sir!
416
00:13:58,116 --> 00:14:00,384
Wait. I don't walk
that well.
417
00:14:14,999 --> 00:14:17,701
There he is.
418
00:14:17,769 --> 00:14:19,436
How's your first day going?
419
00:14:19,504 --> 00:14:21,638
Oh, I don't know.
You tell me.
420
00:14:21,706 --> 00:14:23,741
Khonani, I don't know
enough about being a janitor
421
00:14:23,808 --> 00:14:25,075
To understand
what you're trying to tell me.
422
00:14:25,143 --> 00:14:26,710
There's no trash, Jack.
423
00:14:26,778 --> 00:14:28,612
Ever since you moved Subhas
to 10:00,
424
00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:29,847
He takes all the trash.
425
00:14:29,914 --> 00:14:31,648
No trash left for Khonani.
426
00:14:31,716 --> 00:14:33,751
Okay, well,
there's a solution to this.
427
00:14:33,818 --> 00:14:36,653
What if you and Subhas
share 11:30?
428
00:14:36,721 --> 00:14:38,756
No, I wouldn't do that
to 11:30.
429
00:14:38,823 --> 00:14:40,424
What are you talking about?
430
00:14:40,492 --> 00:14:41,625
What
are you talking about?
431
00:14:41,693 --> 00:14:43,761
There are two people
who want the same thing.
432
00:14:43,828 --> 00:14:44,895
They can't both have it.
433
00:14:44,963 --> 00:14:45,996
You need to make a decision.
434
00:14:46,064 --> 00:14:48,288
I can't.
Damn it, I can't.
435
00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:49,722
Don't you think
I know what it's like
436
00:14:49,790 --> 00:14:50,857
To have two amazing people
437
00:14:50,925 --> 00:14:52,859
Who both want the same thing?
I do!
438
00:14:52,927 --> 00:14:55,662
And with Nancy and Avery,
I'm the thing, Khonani.
439
00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:57,664
I'm the trash shift.
440
00:14:57,731 --> 00:14:59,032
That sounds very difficult.
441
00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:00,900
It's impossible.
It's paralyzed me.
442
00:15:00,968 --> 00:15:03,002
I just want everyone
to be happy.
443
00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:04,671
It doesn't work that way.
444
00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:07,207
One person's heart
is going to be broken.
445
00:15:07,274 --> 00:15:10,944
You have to choose.
446
00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:13,746
I'm sticking with Subhas,
Khonani.
447
00:15:13,814 --> 00:15:14,814
I'm sorry.
448
00:15:14,882 --> 00:15:16,950
Okay. I know
that was hard for you.
449
00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:18,551
And don't worry.
450
00:15:18,619 --> 00:15:21,988
I have a job
for me at fox... [coughing]
451
00:15:22,056 --> 00:15:22,989
Woods.
452
00:15:23,057 --> 00:15:24,457
Foxwoods casino.
453
00:15:24,525 --> 00:15:26,025
My cousin is
head janitor there.
454
00:15:28,495 --> 00:15:31,464
You ought to get
that cough checked out.
455
00:15:33,267 --> 00:15:35,568
[telephone rings]
456
00:15:35,636 --> 00:15:38,238
This better be meetment,
I'm importing.
457
00:15:38,305 --> 00:15:39,872
Mr. Jordan,
it's Kenneth Parcell,
458
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:41,507
From work and friendship.
459
00:15:41,575 --> 00:15:42,508
Key, Ken.
460
00:15:42,576 --> 00:15:43,610
With all the excitement,
461
00:15:43,677 --> 00:15:44,911
I forgot that Mrs. Jordan
462
00:15:44,979 --> 00:15:46,846
Had asked me to get
her blood pressure medicine.
463
00:15:46,914 --> 00:15:48,081
She left it in her car.
464
00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:50,650
But, sir, her car is parked
out on the street.
465
00:15:50,718 --> 00:15:51,918
Oh, my God.
466
00:15:51,986 --> 00:15:53,987
I know. It's outside
the electric fence.
467
00:15:54,054 --> 00:15:55,054
Oh, my God!
468
00:15:55,122 --> 00:15:56,322
I just didn't want
to go outside!
469
00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:57,457
It's chilly!
470
00:15:57,524 --> 00:15:59,826
I can come back.
This is all my fault.
471
00:15:59,893 --> 00:16:02,028
No. This is something
I have to do myself.
472
00:16:02,096 --> 00:16:05,398
You're a good husband,
Mr. Jordan.
473
00:16:05,466 --> 00:16:08,156
[dog barking]
474
00:16:08,224 --> 00:16:09,224
Sir, is there any chance
475
00:16:09,292 --> 00:16:10,459
Your dog followed me here?
476
00:16:10,526 --> 00:16:12,294
Yes. He probably
picked up your scent
477
00:16:12,362 --> 00:16:13,495
And is hunting you.
478
00:16:13,563 --> 00:16:15,330
I suggest you cut off a finger
479
00:16:15,398 --> 00:16:19,701
And throw it in the river.
480
00:16:19,769 --> 00:16:22,371
[dog barking]
481
00:16:29,679 --> 00:16:31,346
Wow, Liz.
482
00:16:31,414 --> 00:16:32,614
Good work.
483
00:16:32,682 --> 00:16:34,149
This looks
like the post-coital suite
484
00:16:34,217 --> 00:16:35,584
At the nba all-star game.
485
00:16:35,651 --> 00:16:38,387
Thanks, Jenna.
486
00:16:38,454 --> 00:16:40,022
Well, so now that
everyone's here,
487
00:16:40,089 --> 00:16:41,356
Maybe someone should
say a few words.
488
00:16:41,424 --> 00:16:42,624
[amplified] Absolutely.
489
00:16:42,692 --> 00:16:44,526
* Jimmy crack corn
and I don't care *
490
00:16:44,594 --> 00:16:46,495
* Jimmy crack corn
and I don't care *
491
00:16:46,562 --> 00:16:49,164
- What are you doing?
- Juice fast delirium, Liz.
492
00:16:49,232 --> 00:16:51,500
Um, I'm glad
you could all make it
493
00:16:51,567 --> 00:16:53,001
To cerie's party.
494
00:16:53,069 --> 00:16:54,369
I don't have a lot to say,
495
00:16:54,437 --> 00:16:55,871
Just that the bar is open
496
00:16:55,938 --> 00:16:58,173
And the karaoke machine
is ready to go.
497
00:16:58,241 --> 00:17:00,876
Karaoke, awesome.
Yeah.
498
00:17:00,943 --> 00:17:04,479
You think I don't know
what that is?
499
00:17:04,547 --> 00:17:06,648
I know about
Thursday night thunder
500
00:17:06,716 --> 00:17:08,517
And I know
that I'm not invited!
501
00:17:08,584 --> 00:17:09,851
- Uh-oh.
502
00:17:09,919 --> 00:17:11,153
I deserve to be loved!
503
00:17:11,220 --> 00:17:13,155
Oh, no, she's going wide.
504
00:17:13,222 --> 00:17:16,258
I am a proud, single woman!
505
00:17:16,325 --> 00:17:17,659
How did it become about this?
506
00:17:17,727 --> 00:17:18,760
Go out the window!
Save yourselves!
507
00:17:18,828 --> 00:17:20,829
I may not have a real family,
508
00:17:20,897 --> 00:17:22,998
But I thought at least
I had one at work,
509
00:17:23,066 --> 00:17:25,223
Which is not what I wanted
for myself, by the way.
510
00:17:25,791 --> 00:17:26,924
You think when I was a kid,
511
00:17:26,992 --> 00:17:28,926
I dreamed of someday
paying $1,200
512
00:17:28,994 --> 00:17:30,261
For a karaoke machine
513
00:17:30,329 --> 00:17:32,163
To impress
a bunch of pasty losers?
514
00:17:32,231 --> 00:17:33,531
And a professional singer,
515
00:17:33,599 --> 00:17:35,700
Who's beautiful,
but doesn't know it.
516
00:17:35,768 --> 00:17:37,735
So now let's
all go around the room
517
00:17:37,803 --> 00:17:40,038
And apologize to me!
518
00:17:40,105 --> 00:17:42,573
- Oh, my God,
this is the worst...
519
00:17:42,641 --> 00:17:44,342
- [whimpering]
I had nowhere else to go!
520
00:17:44,410 --> 00:17:46,044
- [barking]
- dog!
521
00:17:46,111 --> 00:17:47,378
Dog attack!
522
00:17:47,446 --> 00:17:50,548
[screaming]
523
00:17:53,919 --> 00:17:55,720
[exhales]
524
00:17:58,223 --> 00:17:59,590
Hmm.
525
00:17:59,658 --> 00:18:01,659
Maybe this doesn't work
on people.
526
00:18:01,727 --> 00:18:04,228
Aah! Aah!
527
00:18:04,296 --> 00:18:05,396
Oh, my neck!
528
00:18:05,464 --> 00:18:07,432
My swan-like neck!
Aah!
529
00:18:07,499 --> 00:18:09,133
Oh!
530
00:18:09,201 --> 00:18:12,537
Must...Fight...Through it.
531
00:18:12,604 --> 00:18:15,573
Also must...Weed...Lawn!
532
00:18:15,641 --> 00:18:18,609
[gasping]
533
00:18:18,677 --> 00:18:19,844
I made it.
534
00:18:19,912 --> 00:18:22,013
I'm on the other side.
535
00:18:28,554 --> 00:18:30,021
I'm free.
536
00:18:30,089 --> 00:18:32,857
I can go anywhere I want...
537
00:18:32,925 --> 00:18:34,726
Like Liz's party
538
00:18:34,793 --> 00:18:35,993
Or one of those places
539
00:18:36,061 --> 00:18:38,463
Where you skydive
over a huge fan.
540
00:18:44,108 --> 00:18:45,675
[truck door closes]
541
00:18:45,743 --> 00:18:48,445
Hmm...Maybe it doesn't
work on people any...
542
00:18:48,513 --> 00:18:50,313
Aah! It still does!
543
00:18:50,381 --> 00:18:51,715
Aah!
544
00:18:51,783 --> 00:18:53,917
[screaming and dog barking]
545
00:18:53,985 --> 00:18:56,286
Why is that thing
following you?
546
00:18:56,354 --> 00:18:57,487
Hunting me!
547
00:18:57,555 --> 00:18:58,755
Electric collar!
548
00:18:58,823 --> 00:19:00,557
[dog barking, door thuds]
549
00:19:00,625 --> 00:19:02,092
There's no fire escape
in this room!
550
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:03,794
Why are we even here?
551
00:19:03,861 --> 00:19:05,395
You make us show up,
you start yelling,
552
00:19:05,463 --> 00:19:06,630
And then we get attacked
by a dog!
553
00:19:06,697 --> 00:19:07,998
And Cerie didn't even come.
554
00:19:08,066 --> 00:19:10,167
That's just
a cardboard cutout of her.
555
00:19:10,234 --> 00:19:11,535
But I rescued her.
556
00:19:11,602 --> 00:19:12,903
[door thuds and screaming]
557
00:19:12,970 --> 00:19:15,472
Quiet! Quiet!
Everybody shut up!
558
00:19:15,540 --> 00:19:17,808
We need to figure out
what we're gonna do.
559
00:19:19,210 --> 00:19:22,179
[dog growling]
560
00:19:22,246 --> 00:19:25,382
Oh, really?
Now I'm a part of the group?
561
00:19:25,450 --> 00:19:27,217
Now you like me
because you're in trouble
562
00:19:27,285 --> 00:19:28,919
And you need someone
to bail you out?
563
00:19:28,986 --> 00:19:30,987
Yes, that's exactly
why we like you.
564
00:19:31,055 --> 00:19:33,390
We love you.
You solve our problems.
565
00:19:33,458 --> 00:19:34,591
That's what you're good at.
566
00:19:34,659 --> 00:19:36,259
So what if you're
not fun at parties?
567
00:19:36,327 --> 00:19:37,861
Yeah. You know
who's fun at parties?
568
00:19:37,929 --> 00:19:40,597
Paris Hilton, Andy Dick, Tracy,
569
00:19:40,665 --> 00:19:41,998
And they're all
gonna burn in hell.
570
00:19:42,066 --> 00:19:43,233
Oh, God!
571
00:19:43,301 --> 00:19:45,068
If you deliver me from this,
572
00:19:45,136 --> 00:19:47,704
I promise every Sunday
for the rest of my life,
573
00:19:47,772 --> 00:19:49,773
I'll go to...
574
00:19:49,841 --> 00:19:51,475
Huh?
575
00:19:51,542 --> 00:19:53,243
I'm through it.
576
00:19:53,311 --> 00:19:54,878
Pizza Hut.
577
00:19:54,946 --> 00:19:56,813
I'll go to pizza hut.
Ha!
578
00:19:56,881 --> 00:19:58,748
Look, if this is a family,
579
00:19:58,816 --> 00:20:00,217
That makes you the mom,
580
00:20:00,284 --> 00:20:02,152
And you don't want to go out
drinking with your mom.
581
00:20:02,293 --> 00:20:04,460
You want mommy
to make the monsters go away.
582
00:20:04,528 --> 00:20:05,628
[door thuds and screaming]
583
00:20:05,696 --> 00:20:07,130
- Oh, please
- come on!
584
00:20:07,197 --> 00:20:09,232
[dog barking]
585
00:20:09,300 --> 00:20:12,769
Everything's
gonna be all right.
586
00:20:13,971 --> 00:20:16,739
Oh. Okay, Tracy senior,
587
00:20:16,807 --> 00:20:18,408
Let's see what you've got.
588
00:20:18,475 --> 00:20:19,909
[gasps]
589
00:20:19,977 --> 00:20:21,277
[dog barking]
590
00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:22,578
Aah!
591
00:20:22,646 --> 00:20:24,314
Oh! Aah!
592
00:20:24,381 --> 00:20:27,083
Run! Run, my losers!
593
00:20:27,151 --> 00:20:29,585
[panting]
594
00:20:29,653 --> 00:20:31,788
Aah!
595
00:20:31,855 --> 00:20:33,056
Great party, Liz.
596
00:20:33,123 --> 00:20:34,624
Everybody take some cupcakes!
597
00:20:34,692 --> 00:20:35,825
[dog barking] Aah!
598
00:20:39,965 --> 00:20:40,866
Hi, Subhas.
599
00:20:40,934 --> 00:20:43,268
I have an extra headshot
I was gonna throw out,
600
00:20:43,335 --> 00:20:45,403
Unless you want it
for something.
601
00:20:45,471 --> 00:20:48,073
No!
You're not book!
602
00:20:48,140 --> 00:20:50,809
Why?
What am I doing wrong?
603
00:20:50,876 --> 00:20:53,378
Wanting to be book
is not book.
604
00:20:53,446 --> 00:20:55,513
Mm...
605
00:20:55,581 --> 00:20:57,515
So you solved
your janitor thing.
606
00:20:57,583 --> 00:21:00,185
Now back to Nancy and Avery?
607
00:21:00,252 --> 00:21:01,686
Top gun high-five
for courage?
608
00:21:01,754 --> 00:21:03,955
Only because you look
like you need it so badly.
609
00:21:04,023 --> 00:21:05,256
I'm fine with that.
610
00:21:05,324 --> 00:21:09,926
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www.addic7ed.com
611
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000
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612
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:13,000
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613
00:00:13,050 --> 00:00:17,600
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