Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,730 --> 00:00:05,820
... And side. Excellent.Keep
those cores strong.
2
00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:08,850
Three, two, let's take
itoverhead on one...
3
00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:16,470
This is a classic,prewar
onebedroom, onebath...
4
00:00:16,630 --> 00:00:17,270
What?
5
00:00:17,550 --> 00:00:19,580
Oh. The cleaninglady's here.
6
00:00:19,660 --> 00:00:22,180
Please come back later.No polish.
7
00:00:22,260 --> 00:00:24,290
I live here.What're you doing?
8
00:00:24,350 --> 00:00:26,550
Oh. Haven't you heard?The
building's going condo.
9
00:00:26,620 --> 00:00:29,400
If you're planning on
buying,i'm wendy. We should talk.
10
00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:31,390
Well, I'm not buying,and
they can't just kick me out.
11
00:00:31,390 --> 00:00:34,800
No, they can't,but they
can hike your rent up.
12
00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:36,150
Way up.
13
00:00:36,260 --> 00:00:37,760
Let me show youthe bedroom.
14
00:00:37,860 --> 00:00:39,930
-Jack will tell youwhat to do next.
-What?
15
00:00:40,050 --> 00:00:44,050
Thanks, cindy.All right, now
we'regonna work those glutes.
16
00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:50,150
Hey, do youhave a minute?
17
00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:52,040
Good god, lemon,have you seen this?
18
00:00:52,630 --> 00:00:56,250
As I'm sure you'veconcluded from the
headline,don geiss'sestranged son bertram
19
00:00:56,390 --> 00:01:00,390
is suing hishalfsister kathyfor
control ofthe geiss family trust fund.
20
00:01:00,390 --> 00:01:03,930
They could've done,"geiss
screams, son pay!"
21
00:01:04,010 --> 00:01:06,240
you know, like,ice cream sundae.
22
00:01:06,390 --> 00:01:07,710
This makes me sickto my stomach, lemon.
23
00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:12,280
Don geiss is my hero,my
mentor, a great man.
24
00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:15,040
Holding up one fingerto get someone
to stop talking...He invented that.
25
00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:16,460
- I don't think...
- And now...
26
00:01:16,460 --> 00:01:19,230
He's being publicly
humiliatedby his own family.
27
00:01:19,230 --> 00:01:23,280
This is y I'm gladI never had
children,and why I never will.
28
00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:24,510
Oh, jack,you don't mean that.
29
00:01:24,510 --> 00:01:27,640
Geiss also invented the
abruptconversational segue.
30
00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:29,660
Talk aboutyour thing now.
31
00:01:29,660 --> 00:01:32,080
Okay, well, um,my
building is going condo.
32
00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:35,330
And they're tryingto drive the renters
out?Are you going tobuy your place?
33
00:01:35,330 --> 00:01:37,130
Well, I love my builng,but
if I gonna buy a place
34
00:01:37,130 --> 00:01:39,830
it should be a big placewhere
I can have a family.
35
00:01:39,830 --> 00:01:43,010
Then spend someof your dealbreakers
money.Buy two apartments.
36
00:01:43,010 --> 00:01:45,520
-What?
-You know whymy place is so big?
37
00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:47,770
When I was first married to
myexwife we were in the basement.
38
00:01:47,770 --> 00:01:49,780
Over the years I keptbuying
the floors above me
39
00:01:49,900 --> 00:01:51,470
to make room for the
familyI thought we'd have.
40
00:01:51,550 --> 00:01:53,920
Well, now I havesomething
better than a family.
41
00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:56,080
A walkin humidor,a lap pool,
42
00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:59,060
and a replica of the irish
pubwhere my grandmother was born.
43
00:01:59,150 --> 00:02:00,290
Well, I'm not rich, jack.
44
00:02:00,290 --> 00:02:02,910
You're doing okay.And this
could beyour dream apartment.
45
00:02:02,910 --> 00:02:05,680
Sniff around yourupstairs
neighbor,see if he'sanning to leave.
46
00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:09,520
If he's not, make him an offerhe
can't refuse.Trademark 1974,
47
00:02:10,370 --> 00:02:12,300
-don geiss.
-What, like, bribe him?
48
00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:15,540
I know thissounds ugly,but with
manhattan real estatethere are no rules.
49
00:02:15,540 --> 00:02:18,290
It's like checkinat an italian airport.
50
00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:26,560
-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-Proudly
Presents
51
00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:32,590
-Sync: СÔÂ
52
00:02:33,100 --> 00:02:37,360
30.rock.406
53
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:41,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
54
00:02:44,930 --> 00:02:47,330
Oh, my god! Frank!
55
00:02:47,490 --> 00:02:49,220
Were you gonna peein that jar?
56
00:02:49,330 --> 00:02:50,550
I didn't knowanyone was here.
57
00:02:50,640 --> 00:02:53,420
That's what youuse the jars for?
58
00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:55,450
You told methat was sun tea.
59
00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:58,420
Some of themare sun tea,
60
00:02:58,510 --> 00:03:01,870
and some of themwere sun tea.
61
00:03:03,140 --> 00:03:04,800
Do you know about this?
62
00:03:04,920 --> 00:03:06,700
We havea gentleman's agreement.
63
00:03:06,780 --> 00:03:10,130
He gets the jars,and
in return he's agreed
64
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:13,320
to let a yale sweatshirtbe
our desd fart dampener.
65
00:03:13,390 --> 00:03:15,170
What is wrongwith you guys?
66
00:03:15,250 --> 00:03:18,570
What would it be like if
cerieand sue and I were not here?
67
00:03:18,650 --> 00:03:21,140
-We'd have a room dognamed meatus.
-I'd take my pants offand eat chicken wings.
68
00:03:21,250 --> 00:03:25,710
Shut it down.Throw away the jars.
69
00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:27,600
Fine, but I'mgonna recycle them,
70
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:32,280
and then one day as youdrink some apple
juice,you'll wonder,"where has this jar been?"
71
00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:35,460
I will fight my sister toothand
nail to get what I deserve
72
00:03:35,710 --> 00:03:40,380
because i, bertram geiss,am
still daddy's fancy boy.
73
00:03:40,460 --> 00:03:44,170
After the deposition,kathy geiss's
lawyeroffered this rebuttal.
74
00:03:44,230 --> 00:03:49,380
My name is teddy ruxpin.Can
you and I be friends?
75
00:03:50,190 --> 00:03:51,550
Mr. Donaghy,you wanted to see me?
76
00:03:51,650 --> 00:03:52,950
Kenneth,I have a task for you.
77
00:03:53,060 --> 00:03:53,700
Is it menial?
78
00:03:53,780 --> 00:03:58,510
As part of nbc's annualgreen week
initiative,has to reduceits carbon footprint.
79
00:03:58,610 --> 00:04:00,860
I'm putting youin charge that effort.
80
00:04:00,930 --> 00:04:02,810
Global warming, sir?
81
00:04:02,870 --> 00:04:05,940
I'm sorry, that's justa
bunch of scientist talk.
82
00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:09,500
Same peoplewho'd have you believe
that my greatgrandfatherwas a monkey.
83
00:04:09,580 --> 00:04:12,760
If he was a monkey, then
whywas he killed by a monkey?
84
00:04:12,900 --> 00:04:14,870
You're preachingto the choir, kenneth.
85
00:04:14,970 --> 00:04:18,420
I mean, I love the earth.I
have these rarekadupul blossoms
86
00:04:18,510 --> 00:04:21,780
flown in every morningfrom
sri lanka on a private jet.
87
00:04:21,890 --> 00:04:25,350
That's the definitionof green.And
yet they force usto do more.
88
00:04:25,460 --> 00:04:28,140
More sacrifices.Why? For the children.
89
00:04:28,220 --> 00:04:30,030
What have childrenever done for us?
90
00:04:30,130 --> 00:04:32,670
Well, they makeour shoes and wallets.
91
00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:36,110
I need a 5% reductionof
energy use across the board.
92
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,340
I'll do itif you insist, sir.
93
00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:41,720
But I'm gonna be grumpyuntil
the end this sentence.
94
00:04:53,470 --> 00:04:55,760
Hi, I'm liz,and I live right below you.
95
00:04:55,850 --> 00:04:58,750
Oh, my god.I'm brian. Come in.
96
00:05:01,290 --> 00:05:02,550
Wow, this placeis great.
97
00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:06,350
Isn't it?New kitchen,original molding,
98
00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:09,550
and I have a view because
thatdentist blew up his townhouse.
99
00:05:09,630 --> 00:05:14,390
So... You gonnatry and bribe me like
the rest of theseyuppie bottom feeders?
100
00:05:14,490 --> 00:05:16,980
What? No. Bribe?People do that?
101
00:05:17,060 --> 00:05:20,510
Yeah, well,the guy above me
offered me ten grandto move out.
102
00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:22,380
That's a lot.
103
00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:25,130
It's obscene.This
neighborhoodused to be real.
104
00:05:25,250 --> 00:05:28,480
Now it's all chain
storesand fancy restaurants.
105
00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:31,130
Yeah, we cool peoplegot
to hold our ground.
106
00:05:31,190 --> 00:05:34,970
Fight the man.Michael moore, et
cetera.Is thata working fireplace?
107
00:05:35,050 --> 00:05:38,020
Yeah, but it'skind of
annoying.I can't ut the flue,
108
00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:42,700
so the apartment smells likeburger
king all day and cinnabon all night.
109
00:05:44,290 --> 00:05:48,190
Yeah, I just came up hereto
make sure you're staying.
110
00:05:48,270 --> 00:05:54,070
Ruining things for those creepsg to make
duplexesfor their imaginary children,
111
00:05:54,180 --> 00:05:58,150
and their imaginary
husband,astronaut mike dexter.
112
00:05:58,250 --> 00:05:59,570
So what's your plan?
113
00:05:59,900 --> 00:06:03,350
I don't know. Just
figuresomething out, I guess.
114
00:06:04,460 --> 00:06:06,800
Look,what if we team up?
115
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:09,110
-What do you mean?
-I can't affordto stay here on my own,
116
00:06:09,190 --> 00:06:12,970
and based on yourshoes and
teeth,i'm guessingyou can't either,
117
00:06:13,060 --> 00:06:15,130
so why don't wemove in together?
118
00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:19,290
I mean, you'd have togive up your
place'cause this isthe twobedroom.
119
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:20,540
There's two of them?
120
00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:24,360
oh! Is that bad?Oh, god.
121
00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:28,070
So now you're your ownupstairs neighbor.
122
00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:29,510
What's the plan?
123
00:06:29,580 --> 00:06:33,320
Well, I'm gonna pretendto move in
with brian,somehow drive him out,
124
00:06:33,410 --> 00:06:36,360
then buy both placesand
make my dream apartment.
125
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,070
That sounds like something
I'dcome up with if I was smarter.
126
00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:41,860
I know, I'm terrible.But brian sucks.
127
00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:44,640
He doesn't have a tv and
hewears political tshirts.
128
00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:47,960
Don't feel guiltyfor a second.This
is manhattanreal estate.
129
00:06:47,980 --> 00:06:51,090
There are no rules.Like
checkinat an italian sex party.
130
00:06:51,150 --> 00:06:53,060
I mean,do you know how long I've
been waitingfor the lady next door
131
00:06:53,060 --> 00:06:55,180
to finally joinher husband in hell?
132
00:06:55,180 --> 00:06:56,350
Hello, Mrs. Gerstein.
133
00:06:56,520 --> 00:07:02,200
Oh, my heart...Is
getting strongerevery day.
134
00:07:02,300 --> 00:07:04,850
Oh, you ancient bitch!
135
00:07:04,940 --> 00:07:06,630
But you've alreadygot
a foot in the door.
136
00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:07,810
Here's whatyou're gonna do.
137
00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:10,160
Do you rememberthat horrible
roommate you had back in chicago?
138
00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:10,960
You mean you?
139
00:07:11,470 --> 00:07:14,440
I know it's my turnto do the
dishes,but I'm in character,
140
00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:19,670
and if you make me do the
dishesI will kill myself!
141
00:07:19,670 --> 00:07:21,900
You drove a lot of guysout
of that third bedroom.
142
00:07:21,980 --> 00:07:26,900
Becauseguys hate drama.And I'm gonna
teach youhow to be a drama queen.
143
00:07:26,970 --> 00:07:32,800
And if I fail,i'm gonna take a bunch
of pills,and it's gonna be your fault!
144
00:07:32,860 --> 00:07:34,460
Still got it.
145
00:07:38,030 --> 00:07:41,380
Lemon, I justwant to make sure you're not
making any jokesabout don geiss this week.
146
00:07:41,380 --> 00:07:46,900
Don't worry,ack.Our topicalcold open is
aboutomarosa borrowingbjork's swan dress.
147
00:07:48,390 --> 00:07:49,190
Tracy.
148
00:07:49,270 --> 00:07:50,200
What's up, donaghy?
149
00:07:50,290 --> 00:07:53,260
Tracy jr.,to what do we owe this visit?
150
00:07:53,350 --> 00:07:55,330
It's "take your black kidto work day."
151
00:07:56,950 --> 00:07:58,940
Do you everregret having children?
152
00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:00,550
Every day.
153
00:08:00,650 --> 00:08:03,420
I thought having a family
wasgonna be like the cosby show.
154
00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:05,310
Oh, no,vanessa nto a concert!
155
00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:09,030
Oh, no, rudy and I are makinga
sandwich for 25 minutes!
156
00:08:09,140 --> 00:08:12,810
The cosby show was a lie.Having
a familycan be the worst.
157
00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:17,580
For example,I have this strip club story
from this weekendI need to tell you, jackie d.
158
00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:19,830
It is disgusting.
159
00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:22,620
But I can't becauseI got
this little dbag, here.
160
00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:23,640
I know what that means.
161
00:08:23,740 --> 00:08:25,160
And yet youwon't tell me.
162
00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:28,320
I've been thinkinga lot about
family lately, about my legacy.
163
00:08:28,390 --> 00:08:32,100
I've been watching a friendgo through an
ordealwith his children,and it has only affirmed
164
00:08:32,190 --> 00:08:35,280
that I was not meantto have any
of my ownand that I never will.
165
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:36,730
It's not that simple.
166
00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:40,490
Now, what if a girltries to trap you like
nicole tried to do meon the band trip?
167
00:08:40,580 --> 00:08:42,990
Bitches can be tricky.
168
00:08:43,070 --> 00:08:45,120
I'm going to getsome strawberry milk.
169
00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:49,660
Tracy jr.'s right.There's only one way
to reallytake children off the table.
170
00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:51,440
I'm going to geta vasectomy.
171
00:08:52,940 --> 00:08:55,090
.I mean, that's a bigecision!
172
00:08:55,170 --> 00:08:58,110
Having a family is alsothe
best thing a man could...
173
00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:00,410
He's gone.So my story.
174
00:09:00,530 --> 00:09:03,050
So I'm in the strip club with
charles barkleyand one of the hobbits.
175
00:09:03,140 --> 00:09:03,730
Hey, daddy.
176
00:09:03,780 --> 00:09:08,650
Damn it!I n't live like
this!I'm gettinga vasectomy too!
177
00:09:09,290 --> 00:09:10,370
Excuse me, Miss maroney.
178
00:09:10,460 --> 00:09:13,010
Kenneth, I'm doingy
kegelsright now. What is it?
179
00:09:13,110 --> 00:09:16,460
Well, I've beenput in charge of
reducing tgs's carbon footprint.
180
00:09:16,570 --> 00:09:17,710
And everyonehas to chip in.
181
00:09:17,830 --> 00:09:20,600
Kenneth, I oncetook a lowvolume
shower with ed begley jr.
182
00:09:20,700 --> 00:09:21,780
What more can I do?
183
00:09:21,850 --> 00:09:23,350
Well, let's see.
184
00:09:23,460 --> 00:09:26,520
Minka kelly says,"my
show is about football.
185
00:09:26,630 --> 00:09:29,700
"there's a football teamcalled
the chargers.Unplug your chargers."
186
00:09:29,810 --> 00:09:31,450
But kenneth,I need all of these.
187
00:09:31,530 --> 00:09:34,190
This one's for my cell
phone,this one's for my laptop,
188
00:09:34,310 --> 00:09:39,390
this one'sfor my erotic massager,and
this one'sfor something personal.
189
00:09:42,820 --> 00:09:45,470
A vasectomy is a veryserious decision.
190
00:09:45,580 --> 00:09:47,360
I want to make sure
you'veboth tught this through.
191
00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:50,510
I have,I've thought about it,and I've
decided thatI don't want to have children.
192
00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:53,420
Family planning.And
what about you, tracy?
193
00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:55,850
the cosby showlied to me.
194
00:09:55,950 --> 00:09:58,360
I don't think there'sa
box for that on the form.
195
00:09:58,430 --> 00:10:01,240
Uh, what about"cheers lied to me"?
196
00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:06,030
Okay.Now, for the procedureyou can
choose between localor general anesthesia.
197
00:10:06,130 --> 00:10:09,850
I should warn youthat general anesthesia
can cause powerfulhallucinations.
198
00:10:09,930 --> 00:10:14,120
So highly recommend it.I'll
scheduleboth of you for the morning.
199
00:10:14,220 --> 00:10:17,070
Now, this is surgery, so don'teat
anything before you come in,
200
00:10:17,140 --> 00:10:20,880
because I'll havea big
breakfast waiting for you.
201
00:10:21,780 --> 00:10:22,900
Until tomorrow,gentlemen.
202
00:10:23,740 --> 00:10:27,140
We all see the little, black
boyin the corner, right?
203
00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:29,630
Okay.
204
00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:34,080
Hey, liz.
205
00:10:34,210 --> 00:10:35,950
Made you a mailbox key.
206
00:10:36,060 --> 00:10:39,720
So is thatall you have to say
to me?That's how you apologize?
207
00:10:39,790 --> 00:10:41,000
What? What did I do?
208
00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:43,790
What do you care?Whatever,
brian, I am over it!
209
00:10:43,890 --> 00:10:45,730
-Over what?
- It!
210
00:10:45,910 --> 00:10:48,450
Oh, I'm sorry,is it too much drama?
211
00:10:48,550 --> 00:10:52,010
You remind me of my
fatherand my boyfriend!
212
00:10:52,130 --> 00:10:55,030
Ugh! Are you listening to
me?Because if you are not,
213
00:10:55,030 --> 00:10:58,340
I will put on a wedding dressand
jump in front of a subway!
214
00:10:58,340 --> 00:11:02,670
Honey, you don't needto
tell me how much men suck.
215
00:11:02,780 --> 00:11:05,970
Sit downand tell me everythingwhile
I make usraspberry mojitos.
216
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:06,860
You're gay?
217
00:11:06,930 --> 00:11:10,420
Start from the beginning.What's
this boyfriend's na
218
00:11:10,540 --> 00:11:13,490
astronaut mike dexter.
219
00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:21,450
Hi, tracy.I thought "take your
black kidto work day" was yesterday.
220
00:11:21,550 --> 00:11:24,010
No, it's alwaysa wednesday.
221
00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:28,280
Brian is gay, jenna.The drama
did notmake him want to move out.
222
00:11:28,390 --> 00:11:30,820
Well, of course not.Drama
is likegay man gatorade.
223
00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:32,530
It replenishestheir electrolytes.
224
00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:34,570
Damn it,he's never gonna leave.
225
00:11:34,660 --> 00:11:36,380
Trying to getsomeone to move out?
226
00:11:36,470 --> 00:11:39,010
May I suggest what gotmy
neighbors to move out?
227
00:11:39,070 --> 00:11:41,250
Black person moved in,scared 'em off.
228
00:11:41,330 --> 00:11:43,360
Huh. That's nota bad idea, tracy.
229
00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:46,220
I got a lotof good ideas.Now
if you'll excuse me,
230
00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:50,210
I have to take my sonto my
vasectomybecause the cosby showlied to me
231
00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:54,410
and I cannot tellan
amazing strip club story.
232
00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:57,540
Okay, let's go.
233
00:11:59,930 --> 00:12:03,850
Miss lemon.As I'm sure you
know,it is green week, and nbc...
234
00:12:03,850 --> 00:12:06,010
Oh, brother, are they actuallygonna
do something this year,
235
00:12:06,060 --> 00:12:10,730
or are they just gonna putthat stupid
green peacock in the cornerof the screen?
236
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:14,160
Actually, we're reducing
tgs's carbon footprint.
237
00:12:14,220 --> 00:12:18,400
And what you can do,miss lemon,is
get rid of youroffice mini fridge.
238
00:12:18,490 --> 00:12:22,720
My mini fridge?What about my fresh
fruit?...flavored toastercheesecakes?
239
00:12:22,810 --> 00:12:25,230
Oh, so I guess you canmake
other peopl stuff up,
240
00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:28,230
but you're too goodto
make a sacrifice yourself.
241
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:33,630
Fine, I'll give upmy mini fridge because
unlike frankI am a good d decent person.
242
00:12:33,710 --> 00:12:35,610
Is that my cell phone?
243
00:12:35,690 --> 00:12:39,540
Oh, no, sorry.It's in my hand.
244
00:12:40,810 --> 00:12:42,190
Count backwardsfrom ten.
245
00:12:42,300 --> 00:12:43,630
Sure.I know how to do that.
246
00:12:43,820 --> 00:12:48,320
You lied to me, bill
cosby!You lied to me!
247
00:12:48,390 --> 00:12:51,910
Uhoh, here comesmy hallucination.
248
00:12:57,980 --> 00:13:03,300
Denise. Vanessa?Sondra the
boring one.'s your father.
249
00:13:03,410 --> 00:13:07,590
I'm having a cosby show hallucination.
250
00:13:07,700 --> 00:13:08,450
Hey, dad.
251
00:13:08,530 --> 00:13:10,680
Theo,what's going on here?
252
00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:12,950
Did rudy make a messwith
the juicer again?
253
00:13:13,030 --> 00:13:17,190
Vanessa was supposed tobe watching her
and not upstairsgossiping on the phone.
254
00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:18,490
Who are rudyand vanessa?
255
00:13:18,550 --> 00:13:21,060
Your adorable sisterand your sister.
256
00:13:21,140 --> 00:13:24,570
I don't have any sisters, dad.
257
00:13:24,620 --> 00:13:26,620
it's just us guys.
258
00:13:26,710 --> 00:13:29,430
You know how it iswhen
it's just us guys, right?
259
00:13:30,860 --> 00:13:33,400
That's why my lifeis
not like the cosby show.
260
00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:37,560
I only have boys,and
boys are disgusting!
261
00:13:37,630 --> 00:13:39,710
I need a baby girl.
262
00:13:39,930 --> 00:13:41,740
Don't patronize me!
263
00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:44,410
Stop laughing!It's not funny!
264
00:13:44,510 --> 00:13:48,910
I need a baby girl!Don't
snip my vas deferens!
265
00:13:50,170 --> 00:13:52,520
Looking... Things!
266
00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:54,180
Hey, what'reyou doing home?
267
00:13:54,260 --> 00:13:59,010
Oh, just gettingmy computer.Sorry,
I forgot you'dbe home now, brian!
268
00:14:00,130 --> 00:14:02,230
Elizabeth,I know you're in there.
269
00:14:02,310 --> 00:14:06,870
Oh, no.It's my crazy black
boyfriend,astronaut mike dexter.
270
00:14:06,870 --> 00:14:10,160
Better not be with a
man!Even if he's gay!
271
00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:12,890
Mike, no, I don't evenknow
why I'm letting you in
272
00:14:12,890 --> 00:14:15,100
when you're in thisunreasonable state.
273
00:14:15,190 --> 00:14:16,660
Don't get angryand jealous,
274
00:14:16,710 --> 00:14:19,550
even though brian is the
onewho convinced me to move on.
275
00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:21,660
I'm gonna be coming byall the time,
276
00:14:21,750 --> 00:14:24,720
gettin' jealous,takin'
thingout of context.
277
00:14:24,820 --> 00:14:27,580
That dude brianwould
be happier moving out!
278
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:29,210
Okay, everybodyjust calm down.
279
00:14:29,330 --> 00:14:31,220
I feel angry!
280
00:14:31,330 --> 00:14:34,860
Like warren moonmust've
felt back in 1995!
281
00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:38,140
As I have told you many
timesduring our relationship,
282
00:14:38,220 --> 00:14:40,600
no one getsthat reference.
283
00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:42,600
Oh, lord!
284
00:14:42,710 --> 00:14:44,310
Nypd!Stay on the ground!
285
00:14:44,410 --> 00:14:50,060
A gay hipster cop.You're
aninteresting guy, brian.
286
00:14:52,340 --> 00:14:53,400
Look at this.
287
00:14:53,490 --> 00:14:56,660
The geiss name used to
besynonymous with success, power,
288
00:14:56,740 --> 00:14:59,160
funny incidentswhere
women died at barbecues.
289
00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:01,670
Now it's beingdragged through the mud.
290
00:15:01,750 --> 00:15:04,500
This is whyi'm having a vasectomy.
291
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,740
Yeah, but lookat that picture.
292
00:15:06,860 --> 00:15:09,090
He had some good timeswith his kids too.
293
00:15:09,170 --> 00:15:11,810
That junk is priceless.
294
00:15:11,900 --> 00:15:16,090
Well, I'm glad I'm doing
this.Very, very glad.
295
00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:18,590
What are youworking on now?
296
00:15:18,690 --> 00:15:21,310
I have to write an
essayabout my dad for school.
297
00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:23,550
I wanted the cover to
beone of those things
298
00:15:23,550 --> 00:15:26,360
where each letter in his
namestands for a word about him.
299
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,230
That's calledan "acrostic."
300
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:32,490
An acrostic. Cool.Thanks
for teaching me that.
301
00:15:33,430 --> 00:15:35,120
Yes, well,you're welcome.
302
00:15:36,950 --> 00:15:41,630
Maybe I could help youwith the
grammar.Why don't youread it to me?
303
00:15:42,700 --> 00:15:45,990
"T" is for terrific,"r" is for rad,
304
00:15:46,090 --> 00:15:51,320
"a" is for awesome,"c"...
'cause he's my dad.
305
00:15:51,980 --> 00:15:54,950
Damn you, tracy jr.
306
00:15:57,850 --> 00:16:01,060
Miss lemon, your mini
fridgeis still in your office.
307
00:16:01,170 --> 00:16:03,640
You made a promiseto masi oka.
308
00:16:03,750 --> 00:16:08,080
"conserve electricity.Don't
be a zero,be a good guy."
309
00:16:08,420 --> 00:16:10,190
Why doesn't thatsay "hero"?
310
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:11,850
That feels likea real
missed opportunity.
311
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:14,280
I don't care.If I can't
havemy adult apartment,
312
00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:16,830
I will havemy mini fridge.
313
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:20,410
Wow, liz.Don't you
careabout the environment?
314
00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:22,560
Shut up. What do you
knowabout the environment?
315
00:16:22,660 --> 00:16:24,980
Only everything.
316
00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:28,150
Ladies and gentlemen,I present to you
317
00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:33,490
the greenest person at
tgs,mr. Frank rossitano.
318
00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:39,420
He neverwastes anything.I've
seen himeat food from the trash.
319
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:42,950
What's a trash barrel but a
big salad bowlfilled with trash?
320
00:16:43,060 --> 00:16:45,150
He never wastes waterby
doing his laundry.
321
00:16:45,230 --> 00:16:47,040
This shirtstarted out white.
322
00:16:47,130 --> 00:16:48,660
No, do not encourage this.
323
00:16:48,740 --> 00:16:53,070
He pees in jars and leaves themaround
the office.That's a health hazard.
324
00:16:53,150 --> 00:16:55,590
Come.Let me show you something.
325
00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:58,620
Don't talk to melike that.You look
like a turtlewho lost its shell.
326
00:16:58,740 --> 00:17:03,040
Mr. Rossitanohas actually been
emptying his jarsout there.
327
00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:05,390
He's been pouring themout the window?
328
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:07,150
Oh, that is...
329
00:17:07,780 --> 00:17:09,910
Beautiful.
330
00:17:10,010 --> 00:17:14,240
Miss lemon,tgs can reach its
5% goalin one of two ways.
331
00:17:14,330 --> 00:17:16,430
You can give upyour mini fridge,
332
00:17:16,530 --> 00:17:20,930
or you can let Mr.
Rossitanodo his sun tea system.
333
00:17:22,470 --> 00:17:24,160
Just keepthe door closed.
334
00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:26,000
Absolutely not.
335
00:17:28,750 --> 00:17:31,400
Wake up, tracy!Wake up!
336
00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:35,080
I don't want a vasectomy,dr. Spaceman.
337
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:37,070
I need to goback in time.
338
00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:39,410
Why did I sellmy delorean to Mr. T?
339
00:17:39,490 --> 00:17:41,220
You'll be fine, tracy.
340
00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:43,620
I didn't let leogo
through with the vasectomy.
341
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:45,860
If a patient's friendruns
into the operating room
342
00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:48,970
and yells at you,you have to
stop.It's the doctor's code.
343
00:17:49,050 --> 00:17:50,740
Jackie d,I need a baby girl!
344
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:53,260
Maybe one day our
kidswill play together.
345
00:17:53,380 --> 00:17:54,930
I didn't havemy vastomy either.
346
00:17:55,020 --> 00:17:59,930
Tracy, I wantto have children.I want
those memories,no matter what t cost.
347
00:18:00,010 --> 00:18:01,660
And I have to pass onthis head of hair.
348
00:18:01,720 --> 00:18:02,960
What made youchange your mind?
349
00:18:03,050 --> 00:18:05,090
Tracy jr. Made youan acrostic.
350
00:18:05,190 --> 00:18:09,490
Well, I hope he makes mean across
helmet so I don't get hurtplaying across!
351
00:18:09,570 --> 00:18:11,140
Now, come on,that's
pretty solidfor a guy
352
00:18:11,220 --> 00:18:14,300
who just cameout of an hallucination.
353
00:18:15,100 --> 00:18:17,090
Hey, how'd everything gowith dotcom?
354
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:18,490
Terrible, actually.
355
00:18:18,570 --> 00:18:19,510
Well, what're yougonna do now?
356
00:18:19,610 --> 00:18:20,360
I give up.
357
00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:24,270
I can't jack, jenna, or tracythis
guy out of the apartment.
358
00:18:24,340 --> 00:18:27,250
I'm out of... Ideas.
359
00:18:48,570 --> 00:18:49,820
I got the apartment!
360
00:18:49,910 --> 00:18:51,480
You did? How?
361
00:18:51,570 --> 00:18:53,550
He moved out,and now it's mine.
362
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:55,230
You didn't reallyanswer my question.
363
00:18:55,340 --> 00:18:56,350
What?
364
00:18:56,460 --> 00:18:57,800
What did you do?
365
00:18:59,070 --> 00:19:00,710
You didn't!
366
00:19:00,790 --> 00:19:02,670
Manhattan real estate.No rules, right?
367
00:19:02,770 --> 00:19:04,300
You thinki'm disgusting?
368
00:19:04,350 --> 00:19:07,260
I used the sun tea systemto
stop global warming.
369
00:19:07,310 --> 00:19:10,220
You used it to kick a gay
copout of his apartment.
370
00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:13,210
I have no regrets!
371
00:19:14,170 --> 00:19:16,010
No regrets!
372
00:19:17,210 --> 00:19:18,560
Hey, tracy.
373
00:19:18,650 --> 00:19:21,320
Now you can tell meyour
filthy strip club story.
374
00:19:21,420 --> 00:19:24,550
Frank, I'm gonnahave a daughter,and
I would nevertell that story.
375
00:19:24,630 --> 00:19:26,470
It's demeaning to women.
376
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:32,040
Especially if they've had
theirboobies sneezed on by a tiger.
377
00:19:37,730 --> 00:19:39,100
Good for you, sir.
378
00:19:39,180 --> 00:19:42,710
Did you knowthat fluorescent light bulbs
last ten times longerthan regular ones?
379
00:19:42,820 --> 00:19:45,760
Yup. And they only useone
quarter of the power.
380
00:19:45,830 --> 00:19:47,850
But if we're gonnasolve
the climate crisis,
381
00:19:47,930 --> 00:19:50,280
we've got to change more thanthe
light bulbs and the windows.
382
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:52,970
We've got to changethe
laws and the policies
383
00:19:53,030 --> 00:19:56,570
through collective
politicalaction on a large scale.
384
00:19:56,580 --> 00:19:59,400
You know, there's an oldafrican
proverb that I made up.
385
00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:02,350
If you want to go quickly,go alone.
386
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:05,030
If you want to go far,go together.
387
00:20:05,170 --> 00:20:08,220
We need to go far.Quickly.
388
00:20:08,330 --> 00:20:09,860
Mr. Vice president.
389
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:13,390
The snack tableisn't gonna clean itself.
390
00:20:13,490 --> 00:20:15,060
Look again, kenneth.
391
00:20:16,730 --> 00:20:19,210
Well, that's notsuper helpful.
392
00:20:19,290 --> 00:20:22,120
Kenneth, encourageyour
lawmakers to take action,
393
00:20:22,210 --> 00:20:24,270
and recycle everything.
394
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:25,860
Including jokes.
395
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:27,260
I'm sorry, sir, what?
396
00:20:27,350 --> 00:20:29,070
Quiet.
397
00:20:30,070 --> 00:20:33,540
A whale is in trouble.I have to go.
398
00:20:40,220 --> 00:20:44,050
Sir, I'm happy to report that
TGS reduced its carbon footprint
399
00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:45,510
by seven percent.
400
00:20:45,580 --> 00:20:47,940
Kenneth, I also wanna do my part.
401
00:20:48,050 --> 00:20:50,620
You do? I may not have
children anytime soon.
402
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:52,630
But when I do, I want the earth here.
403
00:20:52,690 --> 00:20:56,580
That's why I replaced my
wasteful imported flowers with
404
00:20:56,700 --> 00:21:01,030
beautiful azaleas from my
very own 30 rock terrace.
405
00:21:01,120 --> 00:21:05,080
Oh my They're still sprinkled with
morning due, Kenneth. Smell them.
406
00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:08,430
Smell my flowers, Kenneth.
407
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:12,056
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408
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