Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
2
00:00:13,490 --> 00:00:16,040
Now,remind me,did you just
do the philadelphia cotillion,
3
00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:18,200
or did you also debut internationally?
4
00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:20,360
I'm happy to say that
I don't even get that.
5
00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:21,540
- How was your trip?
- Terrible.
6
00:00:21,540 --> 00:00:23,700
I had to give up my window
seat to some sevenyearold
7
00:00:23,700 --> 00:00:25,660
who had to sit next
to her precious mommy.
8
00:00:25,660 --> 00:00:27,900
What about the actual
purpose of your tr?
9
00:00:27,900 --> 00:00:29,870
How is the search for
the new cast member going?
10
00:00:29,870 --> 00:00:33,390
Okay. I saw a few good alternative
comics in San Francisco.
11
00:00:33,390 --> 00:00:34,880
San Francisco?
12
00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:38,230
I asked you to find an actor
from middle America,a real person.
13
00:00:38,230 --> 00:00:41,410
You're not going to find him in the
people's gaypublic of drugifornia.
14
00:00:41,410 --> 00:00:44,720
Jeez,relax. I'm also setting
up auditions in toronto.
15
00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:47,530
Canada? Why not just go to iraq?
16
00:00:47,530 --> 00:00:50,110
The television audience doesn't
want your elitist east coast,
17
00:00:50,110 --> 00:00:51,730
alternative,intellectual,leftwing...
18
00:00:51,730 --> 00:00:53,770
Jack,just say Jewish.
This is taking forever.
19
00:00:53,770 --> 00:00:55,860
Stop trying to amuse yourself
and start thinking about
20
00:00:55,860 --> 00:00:59,260
what makes actual human beings laugh.
21
00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:00,600
Who wants...
22
00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:02,170
my puddings!
23
00:01:05,320 --> 00:01:07,260
Now that's what I'm talking about.
24
00:01:07,260 --> 00:01:08,610
What a dumb...
25
00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:10,370
oh,no,he's really hurt.
26
00:01:10,370 --> 00:01:12,050
Hey,tracy,did you hear?
27
00:01:12,050 --> 00:01:14,250
Fred dawkins,the
incredibly overweight guy
28
00:01:14,250 --> 00:01:17,040
that pacman was based
on died last night.
29
00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:18,330
I will eat a bowl of cherries
30
00:01:18,330 --> 00:01:20,780
and some ghost meat in his honor.
31
00:01:20,780 --> 00:01:22,390
Orange and black decorations?
32
00:01:22,390 --> 00:01:25,030
Is this halloween or
princeton parents' weekend?
33
00:01:25,030 --> 00:01:27,740
I don't know whether to be
scared or proud of my cousin.
34
00:01:27,740 --> 00:01:29,880
- It's halloween,sir.
- Proud it is.
35
00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:32,520
But this "almost all saints' day"
36
00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:34,160
isn't gonna be much of a celebration.
37
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:36,200
I just heard that
worldfamous clog dancer
38
00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:39,120
jugbert cody has gone to a better place.
39
00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:40,580
He's in cabo?
40
00:01:40,580 --> 00:01:42,720
No,sir. He passed away.
41
00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:45,140
But at least he died
doing what he loved...
42
00:01:45,140 --> 00:01:47,780
blogging on the huffington post.
43
00:01:49,030 --> 00:01:50,350
Two down,one to go.
44
00:01:50,350 --> 00:01:51,360
What do you mean?
45
00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:52,600
The rule of threes...
46
00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:54,680
celebrities always
die in groups of three.
47
00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:56,030
You better be careful,tray.
48
00:01:56,030 --> 00:01:59,000
Yeah,right. That's not a real thing.
49
00:02:05,130 --> 00:02:08,870
This is gonna be the scariest
princeton parents' weekend ever!
50
00:02:09,890 --> 00:02:15,620
-=http://bbs.sfileydy.com=-
Proudly Presents
51
00:02:15,620 --> 00:02:20,990
-=http://bbs.sfileydy.com=-
Sync: ¿¨»Ò
52
00:02:20,990 --> 00:02:24,760
30 rock
s04e03
53
00:02:28,910 --> 00:02:31,270
hey,I read your rewrite.
54
00:02:35,580 --> 00:02:37,470
Start over,you hack!
55
00:02:37,470 --> 00:02:38,950
Miss maroney,are you okay?
56
00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:40,300
Oh,I'm fine.
57
00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:42,210
Just reminding the writers who's boss.
58
00:02:42,210 --> 00:02:43,410
With this new actor coming in,
59
00:02:43,410 --> 00:02:45,720
I want to make sure I get taken care of.
60
00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:48,030
I'm not gonna be pushed
aside and forgotten,
61
00:02:48,030 --> 00:02:49,890
like that time at my sister's funeral.
62
00:02:49,890 --> 00:02:51,460
Ma'am,I don't think bullying people
63
00:02:51,460 --> 00:02:53,330
is the way to get them to help you.
64
00:02:53,330 --> 00:02:54,710
This is show business.
65
00:02:54,710 --> 00:02:56,260
Being nice gets you nowhere.
66
00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:59,910
No. Being nice can get you everywhere.
67
00:02:59,910 --> 00:03:03,140
Florence henderson used to bake
cookies for the brady bunch writers.
68
00:03:03,140 --> 00:03:07,520
And,in return,they wrote
her the role of a lifetime,
69
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,840
as her own grandma hutchins.
70
00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:12,960
I don't really remember the brady
bunch,'cause I was too young.
71
00:03:17,740 --> 00:03:20,110
But being nice to the writers...
72
00:03:20,110 --> 00:03:22,370
interesting idea.
73
00:03:22,940 --> 00:03:24,790
Think about it.
74
00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:26,760
Excuse me,Mr. Donaghy.
75
00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:28,450
I wasn't sure if you were participating
76
00:03:28,450 --> 00:03:30,280
in this year's pumpkincarving contest,
77
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:33,430
or,if like last year,I
should go jump up my own ass.
78
00:03:33,430 --> 00:03:35,170
Same as last year.
79
00:03:35,660 --> 00:03:36,790
Uh,hang on.
80
00:03:36,790 --> 00:03:39,110
Kenneth,you're from georgia,aren't you?
81
00:03:39,110 --> 00:03:40,360
Stone mountain,sir.
82
00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:42,670
Although when the parcells
first came to America,
83
00:03:42,670 --> 00:03:46,270
they lived in a town
called sexcriminalboat.
84
00:03:46,270 --> 00:03:47,810
Do you think that's cherokee?
85
00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:52,160
Uh,no,I mean,you're a middle
American,a Joe average.
86
00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:56,120
You're the only one around here
who knows what ordinary people want.
87
00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:59,100
So tell me... what makes you laugh?
88
00:03:59,100 --> 00:04:01,150
The usual,I suppose.
89
00:04:01,150 --> 00:04:03,750
Two hobos sharing a bean...
90
00:04:04,250 --> 00:04:06,740
lady airline pilots.
91
00:04:08,310 --> 00:04:10,140
I remember,growing up in stone mountain,
92
00:04:10,140 --> 00:04:12,730
my whole family would go
down to the chuckle hut.
93
00:04:12,730 --> 00:04:14,100
That's the local comedy club?
94
00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:16,540
Oh,no,sir. It's a chuckle hut.
95
00:04:16,540 --> 00:04:18,530
You see,the chuckle
is the part of the pig
96
00:04:18,530 --> 00:04:20,830
between the tail and the anus.
97
00:04:20,830 --> 00:04:25,040
But at night,the chuckle hut
becomes the laugh factory,
98
00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:27,610
and that's a comedy club.
99
00:04:29,330 --> 00:04:31,050
Lemon,cancel your trip to toronto.
100
00:04:31,050 --> 00:04:33,720
We're going to stone mountain,georgia.
101
00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:35,780
******
102
00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:41,250
hey,Frank,what is this?
103
00:04:41,870 --> 00:04:44,970
It's an Evite to our halloween party.
104
00:04:44,970 --> 00:04:46,720
I don't want to do that again.
105
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,500
Remember last year?
106
00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:51,910
Hey,I work across the street,
107
00:04:51,910 --> 00:04:54,190
and I saw you guys are
having a halloween party.
108
00:04:54,190 --> 00:04:55,550
Yeah,we are.
109
00:04:55,550 --> 00:04:57,260
Could you close your blinds?
110
00:04:57,260 --> 00:04:59,720
You're really bumming all of us out.
111
00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:01,740
It's humiliating.
112
00:05:01,740 --> 00:05:04,230
Guys,we can't give up on halloween.
113
00:05:04,230 --> 00:05:07,700
It's a magical night where women
dress slutty and drink too much,
114
00:05:07,700 --> 00:05:10,850
where we can hide our
bodies in bulky costumes.
115
00:05:10,850 --> 00:05:12,930
We've got to keep trying.
116
00:05:12,930 --> 00:05:13,930
But we suck.
117
00:05:13,930 --> 00:05:16,830
Yes,but anything can
happen on halloween.
118
00:05:16,830 --> 00:05:18,670
Up is down. Black is white.
119
00:05:18,670 --> 00:05:21,920
Good is evil. And evil... becomes good.
120
00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:25,390
Hey,writers. I baked you cookies.
121
00:05:28,830 --> 00:05:30,900
Jack! You have to help me.
122
00:05:30,900 --> 00:05:32,450
I'm gonna die any minute.
123
00:05:32,450 --> 00:05:34,520
- What are you talking about?
- Celebrities.
124
00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:36,240
They always die in groups of three.
125
00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:39,220
Two already died,and I
might be the next to go.
126
00:05:39,220 --> 00:05:40,370
That's ridiculous.
127
00:05:40,370 --> 00:05:42,830
I got to go somewhere where
nothing will happen to me.
128
00:05:42,830 --> 00:05:45,090
Can you get me on Charlie rose?
129
00:05:45,090 --> 00:05:46,390
Tracy,you have nothing to worry about.
130
00:05:46,390 --> 00:05:48,710
The rule of threes is a
myth that doesn't exist,
131
00:05:48,710 --> 00:05:51,040
like going bald with dignity.
132
00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:53,890
That said,I would prefer
if you take the next one.
133
00:05:55,870 --> 00:05:57,780
So this all started
when their plane crashed?
134
00:05:57,780 --> 00:05:58,900
That's lost.
135
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,430
Oh,right.
136
00:06:00,430 --> 00:06:02,910
You know,I met j. J. Abrams once.
137
00:06:02,910 --> 00:06:04,180
And I don't know what this means,
138
00:06:04,180 --> 00:06:07,000
but he said the Island
is just Hurley's dream.
139
00:06:09,150 --> 00:06:11,100
Why is jenna hanging out with us?
140
00:06:11,100 --> 00:06:13,840
'Cause she's freaking out
about the new cast member.
141
00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:15,530
So she's trying to suck up.
142
00:06:15,530 --> 00:06:16,710
I don't like having her around.
143
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:19,770
Don't worry. We'll get rid
of her,one prank at a time.
144
00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:22,230
There my buddies are.
145
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,250
Oh,wow,they painted the ceiling in here.
146
00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:30,930
We're going to find the perfect
person for the show down here,
147
00:06:30,930 --> 00:06:33,770
someone who represents the real America.
148
00:06:33,770 --> 00:06:35,580
Jack,for the 80th time,
149
00:06:35,580 --> 00:06:38,820
no part of America is more
American than any other part.
150
00:06:38,820 --> 00:06:40,400
You are wrong.
151
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,590
Small towns are where
you see the kindness
152
00:06:42,590 --> 00:06:45,420
and goodness and courage
of everyday americans...
153
00:06:45,420 --> 00:06:48,010
the folks who are teaching
our kids,running our prisons,
154
00:06:48,010 --> 00:06:49,880
growing our cigarettes...
155
00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:53,060
people who are still living
by core American values.
156
00:06:53,060 --> 00:06:56,360
There are plenty of core
American values in new York.
157
00:06:56,780 --> 00:06:59,900
But there are not restaurants
called fatty fat sandwich ranch.
158
00:06:59,900 --> 00:07:01,740
Turn here. Turn here!
159
00:07:04,940 --> 00:07:06,880
Lemon,if this is going
to play out like lunch,
160
00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:08,350
I suggest you crack your window now
161
00:07:08,350 --> 00:07:11,040
and save yourself the
embarrassment in 20 minutes.
162
00:07:11,690 --> 00:07:13,810
Now,they have hush puppies here,
163
00:07:13,810 --> 00:07:17,390
which you might know better
as a knish or a beignet.
164
00:07:17,390 --> 00:07:18,950
I know what you're trying to do,Jack.
165
00:07:18,950 --> 00:07:21,200
You want to paint me
as this new York snob.
166
00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,600
Can I share with you my world view?
167
00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:25,590
I'd rather hear you
sing rocket man again.
168
00:07:25,590 --> 00:07:28,950
All of humankind has
one thing in common...
169
00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:31,020
the sandwich.
170
00:07:31,020 --> 00:07:34,500
I believe that all anyone
really wants in this life
171
00:07:34,500 --> 00:07:37,240
is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.
172
00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:39,750
What a surprise... your
world view is foodbased.
173
00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:43,270
And who am I to say that
my delicious Italian sub
174
00:07:43,270 --> 00:07:46,180
is better than its stone
mountain equivalent?
175
00:07:46,180 --> 00:07:51,810
Which is why I will have the
carp po'boy with extra chuckle.
176
00:07:56,830 --> 00:07:57,840
Keep refreshing.
177
00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:00,500
Maybe Andy dick has died
in the last 20 seconds.
178
00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:02,410
Okay,I'll keep looking.
179
00:08:02,410 --> 00:08:06,050
No,I have to take
matters into my own hands.
180
00:08:10,030 --> 00:08:11,670
- Hello?
- Boo!
181
00:08:11,670 --> 00:08:13,340
Who is this?
182
00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:16,080
Hey,Betty,it's t. J.
183
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:17,500
Tracy!
184
00:08:17,500 --> 00:08:21,020
I haven't seen you since that
rappinggrandma movie we did.
185
00:08:21,490 --> 00:08:24,560
You were so funny as
the rapping grandma.
186
00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:26,010
So how are you feeling?
187
00:08:26,010 --> 00:08:27,640
Any arm pain?
188
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:28,910
Shortness of breath?
189
00:08:28,910 --> 00:08:31,340
Plans to investigate
corruption in russia?
190
00:08:31,340 --> 00:08:33,150
Wait a minute.
191
00:08:33,150 --> 00:08:38,100
Are you calling because the
pacman guy and jugbert cody died?
192
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:41,940
- Is this a "rule of threes" call?
- Um,no.
193
00:08:41,940 --> 00:08:46,130
Nice try,jordan,but I am
going to be at your funeral.
194
00:08:46,130 --> 00:08:49,060
I will bury you.
195
00:08:54,260 --> 00:08:56,710
oh,this carp sandwich is not
agreeing with my world view.
196
00:08:56,710 --> 00:08:57,920
Hello,there,folks.
197
00:08:57,920 --> 00:08:59,940
How y'all doing on this fine october...
198
00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:02,970
we have reservations under
donaghy and lemon,and we need keys.
199
00:09:02,970 --> 00:09:04,530
Are y'all from new York?
200
00:09:04,530 --> 00:09:05,860
Yes. How can you tell?
201
00:09:05,860 --> 00:09:10,720
- New York people,always in a real big...
- hurry,yeah.
202
00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:12,250
No,it's not because we're from new York.
203
00:09:12,250 --> 00:09:13,960
We're all the same sandwiches.
204
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:16,950
You all have a beagle with you?
205
00:09:16,950 --> 00:09:19,000
Just give us our rooms.
206
00:09:24,510 --> 00:09:27,190
Oh,my God.
207
00:09:27,190 --> 00:09:29,390
Tell me about the peach festival.
208
00:09:29,390 --> 00:09:30,920
Oh,peach festival...
209
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:33,710
they got peach preserves,of course,
210
00:09:33,710 --> 00:09:37,690
peach pie,peach wine,peach jerky...
211
00:09:38,230 --> 00:09:39,670
peach butter...
212
00:09:40,510 --> 00:09:41,740
unbelievable.
213
00:09:41,740 --> 00:09:43,500
I have to apologize.
214
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:45,060
You know what they should
do with people like her?
215
00:09:45,060 --> 00:09:47,470
They should round them all
up and put them on an Island.
216
00:09:47,470 --> 00:09:49,030
Oh,wait,they already have.
217
00:09:49,030 --> 00:09:51,080
It's called Manhattan.
218
00:09:51,620 --> 00:09:53,920
Down here we call it sexcriminalboat.
219
00:09:56,450 --> 00:09:57,950
Maybe spend some photoshop there.
220
00:09:57,950 --> 00:09:59,430
Hey,Frank.
221
00:09:59,430 --> 00:10:02,220
Do you know
sacha,Michael,and gay Michael?
222
00:10:02,220 --> 00:10:04,120
Can I ask you a question?
223
00:10:05,670 --> 00:10:07,490
Why?
224
00:10:10,670 --> 00:10:13,760
Oh,God,it's bad enough
having jenna hang out here.
225
00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:15,850
Now she's bringing her friends?
226
00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:19,810
How can a dude in a midriff
top dominate me like that?
227
00:10:19,810 --> 00:10:20,900
I like those guys.
228
00:10:20,900 --> 00:10:22,450
I might hang out with them on halloween.
229
00:10:22,450 --> 00:10:23,610
What? Why?
230
00:10:23,610 --> 00:10:25,390
Have you ever been to a gay halloween?
231
00:10:25,390 --> 00:10:26,950
It's amazing.
232
00:10:26,950 --> 00:10:29,910
Last year my girlfriends and
I went to mario cantone's party
233
00:10:29,910 --> 00:10:31,950
in a renovated Barn in chelsea.
234
00:10:31,950 --> 00:10:34,490
So that's where all the
girls are on halloween...
235
00:10:34,490 --> 00:10:37,340
at awesome gaydude parties.
236
00:10:37,340 --> 00:10:39,700
Oh,my God,we go so crazy.
237
00:10:39,700 --> 00:10:43,220
We kiss each other,get
into vans,black out.
238
00:10:43,220 --> 00:10:48,030
I mean,I'm engaged,but not on halloween.
239
00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:53,170
Stop! Stop filling jenna's
wigs with raw shrimp.
240
00:10:53,170 --> 00:10:55,700
- Why?
- We need to pretend to be jenna's friends
241
00:10:55,700 --> 00:10:57,560
for the next 24 hours.
242
00:10:57,560 --> 00:11:01,330
She's our ticket to a gay halloween.
243
00:11:01,330 --> 00:11:03,520
How come when jenna suggests
it,everybody's on board?
244
00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:06,400
No,lutz. Jenna attracts gay guys.
245
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:09,940
Gay guys throw awesome
halloween parties.
246
00:11:09,940 --> 00:11:13,360
Hot girls go to awesome
halloween parties.
247
00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:15,980
Ergo,if we're jenna's friends...
248
00:11:15,980 --> 00:11:17,440
we spend halloween...
249
00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:18,460
- with hot girls.
- With gay guys...
250
00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:19,940
hot girls.
251
00:11:22,890 --> 00:11:24,610
God,are you doing this to me
252
00:11:24,610 --> 00:11:27,240
'cause I took that blind guy's hot dog?
253
00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:29,840
Who was at the door?
254
00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:33,110
You probably know him as
"hick at the reception desk,"
255
00:11:33,450 --> 00:11:36,070
but his name is travis hoagle,
256
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:39,480
and,uh,he brought you
something for your stomach.
257
00:11:40,860 --> 00:11:43,640
What is this? "peppy bismilk"?
258
00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:45,930
Why is everything a
little different here?
259
00:11:45,930 --> 00:11:49,380
- I hate it!
- You hate it? You hate travis hoagle...
260
00:11:49,380 --> 00:11:52,770
choir member,desert storm
veteran,father of three?
261
00:11:53,610 --> 00:11:55,310
I made all that up,but you get my point.
262
00:11:55,310 --> 00:11:58,120
Do you even care that
I am not feeling well?
263
00:11:58,120 --> 00:11:59,950
Of course I do.
264
00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:03,850
There,there.
265
00:12:03,850 --> 00:12:06,560
Thank you. That's nice.
266
00:12:08,590 --> 00:12:10,930
Well,I'd love to stay
and do this all night,
267
00:12:10,930 --> 00:12:13,080
but one of us has to
go to the laugh factory.
268
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:15,870
No,I don't want you going there alone.
269
00:12:15,870 --> 00:12:16,900
Yes,you do.
270
00:12:16,900 --> 00:12:19,280
The people here... they're the
audience we're trying to reach.
271
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,350
I get them. I know what they want.
272
00:12:21,350 --> 00:12:23,640
I'm gonna find somebody great tonight.
273
00:12:26,370 --> 00:12:29,450
Hey,Rick,what's the difference
between your girlfriend and your truck?
274
00:12:29,450 --> 00:12:31,250
I don't know,pumpkin.
What is the difference?
275
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:35,030
Your truck don't yell at
you every time you get gas.
276
00:12:37,940 --> 00:12:40,710
Wonderful. Bravo
277
00:12:45,810 --> 00:12:48,670
hey... actor friend.
278
00:12:48,670 --> 00:12:52,210
So what are we all doing
together for halloween?
279
00:12:52,210 --> 00:12:56,330
Oh,well,sacha and the
michaels usually have a party.
280
00:12:56,330 --> 00:13:00,760
Oh,'cause lutz and toof
and I always have a party.
281
00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:02,670
Hang on.
282
00:13:02,670 --> 00:13:05,210
What if we combined parties,
283
00:13:05,210 --> 00:13:07,340
threw one big party here in the studio?
284
00:13:07,340 --> 00:13:10,630
- Is that crazy?
- No. Let's do that.
285
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:13,300
Yes.
286
00:13:13,300 --> 00:13:14,800
That gesture.
287
00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:17,020
I like people who do that.
288
00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:21,310
A party with them?
289
00:13:21,310 --> 00:13:23,210
Oh,don't look at me
like I'm a football game.
290
00:13:23,210 --> 00:13:25,120
I need those guys.
291
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:26,480
I've been using them to make sure
292
00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:28,980
I'm taken care of when
the new actor gets here.
293
00:13:28,980 --> 00:13:31,350
Girl,I don't even have
the energy to tell you
294
00:13:31,350 --> 00:13:35,140
what's happening here,so read my face.
295
00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:38,320
Oh,my God!
296
00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:40,510
They're using me to get
invited to gay halloween
297
00:13:40,510 --> 00:13:42,440
so they can meet hot girls.
298
00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:45,810
In metro news,Mary Hillman is
going to gaffney for the weekend
299
00:13:45,810 --> 00:13:49,230
and hopes that Martha or
stephanie will water her plants.
300
00:13:49,230 --> 00:13:50,420
And now an update on...
301
00:13:50,420 --> 00:13:52,190
very small town.
302
00:14:00,010 --> 00:14:02,480
Morning,lemon. I
brought you a ginger ale.
303
00:14:02,890 --> 00:14:04,780
"Schwupps ginny pale"?
304
00:14:04,780 --> 00:14:06,250
This place is the worst.
305
00:14:06,250 --> 00:14:07,910
Don't worry. We're leaving.
306
00:14:07,910 --> 00:14:09,560
Our work here is done.
307
00:14:09,560 --> 00:14:13,570
In entertainment news, local
funnymanand subshop owner Rick Wayne
308
00:14:13,570 --> 00:14:15,610
has been hired by a catholic
309
00:14:15,610 --> 00:14:18,730
to appear on tgs with a black fella.
310
00:14:18,730 --> 00:14:20,370
- What?
- Hear me out.
311
00:14:20,370 --> 00:14:23,120
We're hiring Rick Wayne and pumpkin.
312
00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:24,570
It's a ventriloquist act.
313
00:14:24,570 --> 00:14:26,630
Oh,I'm too sick to handle this.
314
00:14:26,630 --> 00:14:28,950
See,you think you're not this
prejudiced,arrogant new yorker,
315
00:14:28,950 --> 00:14:30,750
but you are,because in your mind,
316
00:14:30,750 --> 00:14:33,040
a southern ventriloquist
act can't be funny.
317
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,860
But you know who does think it's funny?
318
00:14:34,860 --> 00:14:37,730
These people... these
wonderful,folksy,simple...
319
00:14:37,730 --> 00:14:39,790
stop calling them simple.
320
00:14:39,790 --> 00:14:41,750
You know what? You're the prejudice one.
321
00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:43,780
Sure,some of these people are simple,
322
00:14:43,780 --> 00:14:46,250
but some of them are
smart,like matlock...
323
00:14:46,250 --> 00:14:48,230
or wholesome,like elly mae clampett.
324
00:14:48,230 --> 00:14:52,080
And some of them are skeevy dirt
bags like the dukes of hazzard,
325
00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:53,880
driving around like maniacs.
326
00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:55,700
Children use those roads.
327
00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:59,010
My point is americans
are the same everywhere
328
00:14:59,010 --> 00:15:01,220
in that we are all different.
329
00:15:01,220 --> 00:15:02,240
You're wrong,lemon.
330
00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:04,820
These people are better,purer.
331
00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:06,070
Do you know what I did this morning?
332
00:15:06,070 --> 00:15:09,090
I assisted in the birth of a foal.
333
00:15:09,660 --> 00:15:11,580
They named it Jack.
334
00:15:12,230 --> 00:15:14,230
And it was delicious.
335
00:15:14,710 --> 00:15:16,130
I know what I'm doing here,lemon.
336
00:15:16,130 --> 00:15:18,050
We're hiring Rick and pumpkin.
337
00:15:18,050 --> 00:15:20,990
We're not hiring
anyone until I see them.
338
00:15:20,990 --> 00:15:23,020
Good God,lemon,your breath.
339
00:15:23,020 --> 00:15:26,820
When did you find time to eat a
diaper that you found on the beach?
340
00:15:30,570 --> 00:15:33,750
Hi,I'm trying to get
to studio 6b from here.
341
00:15:33,750 --> 00:15:35,270
I'm still finding my way around.
342
00:15:35,270 --> 00:15:36,550
You look clean.
343
00:15:36,550 --> 00:15:38,130
You a celebrity?
344
00:15:38,130 --> 00:15:40,430
I have my own show on NBC.
345
00:15:40,430 --> 00:15:43,000
No. Celebrity.
346
00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:45,990
I was in a movie with
queen latifah once.
347
00:15:45,990 --> 00:15:47,220
Perfect.
348
00:15:47,220 --> 00:15:48,920
I'll show you the shortcut.
349
00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:52,900
Okay,you're sure this is the right way?
350
00:15:52,900 --> 00:15:54,910
Yes,queen latifah's friend.
351
00:15:54,910 --> 00:15:56,850
I'm sure.
352
00:15:59,540 --> 00:16:01,000
Mr. Jordan!
353
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,500
Are you trying to kill Mr.
Fallon with that hammer?
354
00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:05,180
What the hell?
355
00:16:05,180 --> 00:16:07,450
Is this a "rule of threes" thing?
356
00:16:07,450 --> 00:16:09,060
Not cool,guy.
357
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:12,240
I'm sorry,Ken.
358
00:16:12,540 --> 00:16:13,750
But I want to live.
359
00:16:13,750 --> 00:16:16,000
Mr. Jordan,you're going to be fine.
360
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,910
There is no rule of threes.
361
00:16:18,930 --> 00:16:22,520
- Iook out!
- Okay,okay,truce. Truce,okay?
362
00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:24,630
But if some celebrity doesn't die soon,
363
00:16:24,630 --> 00:16:26,830
I'm gonna kill my first guest tonight.
364
00:16:26,830 --> 00:16:28,990
It's a dog who plays soccer.
365
00:16:28,990 --> 00:16:31,320
Really? That's your first guest?
366
00:16:31,750 --> 00:16:33,020
Yeah.
367
00:16:34,870 --> 00:16:36,760
Pete,I'm not gonna let this happen.
368
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:38,160
But what can you do?
369
00:16:38,590 --> 00:16:41,270
Well,Jack says I'm just
an obnoxious new yorker,
370
00:16:41,270 --> 00:16:43,220
so that's what Rick Wayne
is gonna get tonight.
371
00:16:43,220 --> 00:16:44,830
And it's gonna get ugly.
372
00:16:44,830 --> 00:16:45,980
What are you...
373
00:16:45,980 --> 00:16:47,550
oh,my God,you're gonna heckle him,
374
00:16:47,550 --> 00:16:49,340
like that time I invited
you to see my cover band.
375
00:16:49,340 --> 00:16:51,360
Yeah,and today the world is better off
376
00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:55,530
without the Pete hornberger
Alan Parsons project project.
377
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,630
I may be dehydrated.
378
00:16:57,630 --> 00:16:59,450
I may still be working a little chuckle
379
00:16:59,450 --> 00:17:01,120
out of my system,but don't worry.
380
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:03,600
When I'm done,the last
thing Rick Wayne and pumpkin
381
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:06,140
are gonna want to do
is come to new York.
382
00:17:06,140 --> 00:17:07,870
You guys,I am so excited.
383
00:17:07,870 --> 00:17:09,890
I already put on my costume.
384
00:17:09,890 --> 00:17:12,410
Get it? I'm an Italian senator.
385
00:17:16,340 --> 00:17:19,420
Don't you love it?
It's gonna be awesome.
386
00:17:19,420 --> 00:17:23,110
And with one word,I
can make it all go away.
387
00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:24,310
Wait,wwhat are you talking about?
388
00:17:24,310 --> 00:17:25,480
Oh,cut the crap.
389
00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:28,810
You boys are just pretending to
like me to get in on gay halloween.
390
00:17:28,810 --> 00:17:31,120
Okay. What do you want?
391
00:17:31,120 --> 00:17:33,020
I want two good sketches a week,
392
00:17:33,020 --> 00:17:35,210
a promise to hate the new cast member,
393
00:17:35,210 --> 00:17:36,380
and no more making fun of me
394
00:17:36,380 --> 00:17:38,520
when I misuse dated cultural references.
395
00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:41,570
Okay? Are we cowabunga on this?
396
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,900
- Fine,we're... we're cowabunga.
- Good.
397
00:17:44,900 --> 00:17:47,590
But if I wake up in any of your
apartments tomorrow morning,
398
00:17:47,980 --> 00:17:50,580
you will buy me breakfast.
399
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:57,700
All right,the last pig
is in the chuckling chute.
400
00:17:59,020 --> 00:18:01,040
And we're now the laugh factory.
401
00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:02,600
We got a great show for y'all tonight,
402
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:04,780
and we're gonna get right to it
403
00:18:04,780 --> 00:18:09,030
with stone mountain's own
Rick Wayne and pumpkin.
404
00:18:12,940 --> 00:18:16,250
All right,you asked for it.
405
00:18:16,250 --> 00:18:19,000
- Good evening,everyone.
- How y'all doing?
406
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,360
Hey,this your first time doing this?
407
00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:23,470
I'm sorry,I didn't know it was filthy,
408
00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:26,210
thinlipped hooker night
here at the laugh factory.
409
00:18:26,210 --> 00:18:28,590
Okay. I underestimated you.
410
00:18:28,590 --> 00:18:30,240
Knock,knock. Who's there,pumpkin?
411
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:32,550
A ferretfaced skank.
412
00:18:32,550 --> 00:18:34,340
Yep,I see her too.
413
00:18:34,340 --> 00:18:36,110
Get a job,hayseed.
414
00:18:36,110 --> 00:18:37,260
Are you still talking?
415
00:18:37,260 --> 00:18:39,080
You are one mouthy bitch.
416
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:42,630
I don't go down to where you work
and stop them from milking you.
417
00:18:42,630 --> 00:18:45,210
I'm sorry,but that's enough,sir.
418
00:18:45,210 --> 00:18:46,330
You're out of line.
419
00:18:46,330 --> 00:18:47,560
I'll tell you what's out of line.
420
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:49,140
Your old lady's knockers.
421
00:18:49,140 --> 00:18:52,240
Good lord,woman. I
wouldn't you with elmo's.
422
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,600
Rick,pumpkin,what are you doing?
423
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:59,110
A gentleman,whether he's human
or somehow more than human,
424
00:18:59,110 --> 00:19:01,150
does not speak to a lady like that.
425
00:19:01,150 --> 00:19:03,040
You two are wholesome and decent.
426
00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:06,890
Oh,I get it. You think 'cause we talk
like this,we're all simple and quaint.
427
00:19:06,890 --> 00:19:11,390
Well,I'm an amateur astronomer,and
Rick's black wife speaks French.
428
00:19:11,780 --> 00:19:13,210
Her name's jamilla.
429
00:19:13,210 --> 00:19:16,130
See,I told you. There's
no "real America.
430
00:19:16,130 --> 00:19:19,790
" You shut that dog
rectum you call a mouth?
431
00:19:20,940 --> 00:19:22,240
Yes,sir.
432
00:19:23,020 --> 00:19:24,810
Why are you people laughing at this?
433
00:19:24,810 --> 00:19:27,540
You're supposed to be
better,nicer,but you're terrible.
434
00:19:27,540 --> 00:19:30,660
You're all terrible,just
like the people in new York.
435
00:19:33,210 --> 00:19:34,980
All God's children are terrible.
436
00:19:34,980 --> 00:19:37,920
Terrible,huh? I got a
question for you there,pal.
437
00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:41,820
Do you ever find smaller
heads orbiting your head?
438
00:19:43,530 --> 00:19:45,420
Is that a comment about
the size of my head?
439
00:19:45,420 --> 00:19:48,080
I'm a tall man,and it's
proportional to my frame.
440
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:52,460
Your frame? What are they
building there... a super walmart?
441
00:19:54,230 --> 00:19:55,610
You come down here and say that.
442
00:19:55,610 --> 00:19:58,940
I can't. I got a man's arm stuck up me.
443
00:19:59,140 --> 00:20:01,740
But you know what that's like.
444
00:20:06,860 --> 00:20:12,860
I can't believe I bought a
fatty fat sandwich franchise!
445
00:20:12,860 --> 00:20:14,870
Oh,God,he's murdering me. His
head is so much bigger up close!
446
00:20:20,270 --> 00:20:21,890
The deal's off,Wayne.
447
00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:26,100
Lemon,to the kia sorrento!
448
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:32,860
-=http://bbs.sfileydy.com=-
Proudly Presents
449
00:20:32,860 --> 00:20:36,340
-=http://bbs.sfileydy.com=-
Sync: ¿¨»Ò
450
00:20:36,340 --> 00:20:39,880
30 rock
s04e03
451
00:20:41,350 --> 00:20:43,480
****
452
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:46,500
*****
453
00:20:49,930 --> 00:20:52,780
******
454
00:20:52,780 --> 00:20:55,790
*******
455
00:20:55,790 --> 00:20:59,350
********
456
00:20:59,350 --> 00:21:00,960
******
457
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:02,530
*******
458
00:21:02,530 --> 00:21:07,480
********
459
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,136
Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player
460
00:21:11,186 --> 00:21:15,736
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
34521
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
