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1
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( Heavy Metal
music on radio )
2
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,603
( man )
♪ SATAN'S GOT
SOME BOOKS TO SELL ♪
3
00:00:12,603 --> 00:00:15,639
♪ THE INK IS BLOOD
AND IT'S PRINTED IN HELL ♪
4
00:00:16,073 --> 00:00:18,675
♪ TURN UP THE VOLUME
OF SATANICA ♪
5
00:00:19,109 --> 00:00:22,579
♪ BRING YOUR SOUL
AND YOUR HARMONICA ♪
6
00:00:23,013 --> 00:00:27,351
♪ YEAH...
ENCYCLOPEDIA ♪♪
7
00:00:27,351 --> 00:00:28,218
AAAH !
8
00:00:28,652 --> 00:00:31,688
OOOF !
9
00:00:32,556 --> 00:00:34,725
WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT ?
10
00:00:34,725 --> 00:00:36,894
( wheezing )
11
00:00:39,063 --> 00:00:40,364
HELLO ?
12
00:00:40,364 --> 00:00:43,834
IF SOMEBODY'S THERE,
PLEASE DON'T KILL ME.
13
00:00:43,834 --> 00:00:45,135
TAKE ME BACK
TO YOUR CABIN
14
00:00:45,135 --> 00:00:47,304
AND MAKE ME YOUR
SEX SLAVE IF YOU MUST.
15
00:00:47,738 --> 00:00:49,473
DRESS ME UP LIKE
A LITTLE SCHOOL GIRL,
16
00:00:49,907 --> 00:00:52,943
TELL ME I'M NAUGHTY AND
THEN PADDLE ME OH SO HARD,
17
00:00:52,943 --> 00:00:55,979
BUT PLEASE
DON'T KILL ME.
18
00:00:57,714 --> 00:00:59,883
OH, IT'S JUST A BEAVER.
19
00:00:59,883 --> 00:01:02,052
WHO'S A PRETTY
LITTLE BEAVER ?
20
00:01:02,052 --> 00:01:03,353
YOU ARE.
21
00:01:03,787 --> 00:01:05,956
HEY, WHY ARE YOU ALL
GLOWIN' THERE, LITTLE FELLA--
22
00:01:05,956 --> 00:01:07,691
AAAH... !
23
00:01:07,691 --> 00:01:09,860
OWW... AAAH !
24
00:01:11,595 --> 00:01:14,631
STUPID GLOWING BEAVER
BIT ME !
25
00:01:15,065 --> 00:01:16,800
HMM, THAT'S ODD.
26
00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:19,403
I SUDDENLY HAVE A STRONG
DESIRE TO CHEW WOOD.
27
00:01:19,403 --> 00:01:20,704
YOU KNOW WHAT,
I THINK I'M GONNA BUILD A DAM.
28
00:01:20,704 --> 00:01:21,572
THAT SOUNDS LIKE
A LOT OF FUN.
29
00:01:22,005 --> 00:01:23,307
I'VE NEVER
BUILT A DAM BEFORE.
30
00:01:23,307 --> 00:01:26,343
WHAT... IS GOING... ON ?
31
00:01:26,343 --> 00:01:30,247
WHAT'S...
HAPPENING... TO ME ?
32
00:01:33,717 --> 00:01:36,320
( growling )
33
00:01:41,959 --> 00:01:44,128
( wheezing )
34
00:01:49,333 --> 00:01:51,502
AAAHHH !!
35
00:02:11,455 --> 00:02:14,491
♪ Stripperella ♪
36
00:02:15,792 --> 00:02:18,829
♪ Stripperella ♪♪
37
00:02:30,541 --> 00:02:32,276
( wolf whistle )
38
00:02:33,577 --> 00:02:35,746
( cheering )
39
00:02:35,746 --> 00:02:38,348
AND THEN, EARLIER TODAY,
I WENT TO EL MEDO BURRITO
40
00:02:38,348 --> 00:02:40,083
AND GOT ONE OF THEM
TWO-POUND BEAN BURRITOS
41
00:02:40,083 --> 00:02:43,120
AND I HAVE JUST HAD
THE WORST DIARRHEA.
42
00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:44,421
THAT'S FUNNY
"THE WORST DIARRHEA."
43
00:02:44,421 --> 00:02:46,156
IT'S NOT LIKE YOU CAN HAVE
THE BEST DIARRHEA.
44
00:02:46,156 --> 00:02:47,024
DIARRHEA'S
DIARRHEA.
45
00:02:47,457 --> 00:02:48,325
HA HA HA...
46
00:02:48,759 --> 00:02:50,928
LET'S HEAR IT
FOR EROTICA...
47
00:02:51,361 --> 00:02:52,663
MAKE SURE YOU
TIP HER GOOD, FELLAS,
48
00:02:52,663 --> 00:02:56,133
'CAUSE SHE OWES ME THREE DOLLARS
FROM LUNCH THE OTHER DAY.
49
00:03:01,772 --> 00:03:03,073
OKAY, SIR,
THAT WILL BE $20,
50
00:03:03,073 --> 00:03:06,543
PLUS ANY GRATUITY WOULD BE
MUCH APPRECIATED.
51
00:03:06,543 --> 00:03:07,844
SIR, I'M TALKING TO YOU.
52
00:03:07,844 --> 00:03:10,447
THAT'S RUDE, I WOULD
APPRECIATE A RESPONSE.
53
00:03:10,447 --> 00:03:13,050
SIR ?
54
00:03:13,050 --> 00:03:15,219
( gasps )
55
00:03:15,652 --> 00:03:16,954
( crying )
56
00:03:16,954 --> 00:03:20,857
I CAN'T BELIEVE
HE'S DEAD !
57
00:03:20,857 --> 00:03:23,460
( sobbing )
58
00:03:23,460 --> 00:03:25,195
OH, THIS IS HORRIBLE !
59
00:03:25,195 --> 00:03:27,798
I KNOW, HE SEEMED SO YOUNG
AND FULL OF LIFE.
60
00:03:27,798 --> 00:03:29,967
LIFE, SCHMIFE,
WE ARE GONNA GET SUED !
61
00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:31,702
I FEEL AWFUL.
62
00:03:31,702 --> 00:03:33,870
I NEVER KILLED
ANYONE BEFORE !
63
00:03:33,870 --> 00:03:36,039
THAT POOR DEAD MAN !
64
00:03:36,039 --> 00:03:38,642
GISELLE,
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
65
00:03:38,642 --> 00:03:40,377
I MEAN, SURE, YOU'RE
THE ONE THAT EXCITED HIM
66
00:03:40,377 --> 00:03:41,678
AND THAT'S WHAT TRIGGERED
HIS HEART ATTACK,
67
00:03:41,678 --> 00:03:43,847
BUT IT COULD HAVE
BEEN ANY OF US.
68
00:03:43,847 --> 00:03:45,148
WELL...
69
00:03:45,148 --> 00:03:47,751
WE SHOULD PROBABLY
TAKE DOWN THAT SIGN.
70
00:03:51,655 --> 00:03:52,956
( woman )
WOW...
71
00:03:52,956 --> 00:03:54,691
THE MIDDLE OF THE WOODS
ON A DARK AND FOGGY NIGHT
72
00:03:55,125 --> 00:03:56,426
SO FAR AWAY FROM CIVILIZATION
73
00:03:56,426 --> 00:03:59,896
THAT NO ONE COULD HEAR US SCREAM
IF SOMETHING HORRIBLE HAPPENED.
74
00:04:00,330 --> 00:04:02,933
IT'S SO ROMANTIC.
75
00:04:02,933 --> 00:04:05,102
( loud bellow )
76
00:04:05,102 --> 00:04:06,403
WHAT WAS THAT ?
77
00:04:06,403 --> 00:04:08,138
I DON'T KNOW,
I HEARD IT, TOO.
78
00:04:08,138 --> 00:04:10,741
WELL, GO SEE WHAT IT WAS.
79
00:04:12,476 --> 00:04:13,777
( howl )
80
00:04:13,777 --> 00:04:15,078
JUST OUT WALKING MY DOG.
81
00:04:15,512 --> 00:04:16,813
SORRY ABOUT
THE CREEPY HOWLING.
82
00:04:16,813 --> 00:04:18,982
( growl )
83
00:04:18,982 --> 00:04:20,284
JUST OUT WALKING
MY PET BEAR.
84
00:04:20,284 --> 00:04:22,019
SORRY ABOUT
THE CREEPY GROWLING.
85
00:04:22,452 --> 00:04:23,754
( fast chewing )
86
00:04:23,754 --> 00:04:27,658
( screaming )
87
00:04:29,826 --> 00:04:31,995
THIS SCULPTURE IS AN
ALMOST PERFECT RECREATION
88
00:04:31,995 --> 00:04:33,730
OF AN ACTUAL TREE.
89
00:04:33,730 --> 00:04:35,465
THE ARTIST CUT DOWN
AND USED THE WOOD
90
00:04:35,465 --> 00:04:37,634
FROM OVER 500
ACTUAL REDWOODS
91
00:04:37,634 --> 00:04:40,671
TO CONSTRUCT THIS MAJESTIC
TRIBUTE TO TREES.
92
00:04:40,671 --> 00:04:42,406
WITHOUT FURTHER ADO,
93
00:04:42,406 --> 00:04:44,574
I, MAYOR SAMUELSON
GIVE TO YOU
94
00:04:44,574 --> 00:04:48,045
THE GIANT WOODY !
95
00:04:50,213 --> 00:04:52,382
AHHH...
AHHH...
96
00:04:53,684 --> 00:04:55,852
( gnawing )
97
00:04:57,587 --> 00:04:59,323
( screaming )
98
00:05:11,468 --> 00:05:13,203
I THINK THIS WAS A SIGN.
99
00:05:13,203 --> 00:05:15,372
MAYBE IT'S TIME FOR ME
TO HANG UP MY G-STRING
100
00:05:15,372 --> 00:05:17,541
AND GO INTO POLITICS
OR SOMETHING.
101
00:05:17,541 --> 00:05:18,842
HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT ?
102
00:05:18,842 --> 00:05:21,445
YOU CAN'T JUST GIVE UP,
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT !
103
00:05:21,445 --> 00:05:23,180
THINK OF ALL THE GUYS THAT
YOU'VE GIVEN LAP DANCES TO
104
00:05:23,180 --> 00:05:25,349
THAT HAVEN'T DIED.
105
00:05:25,349 --> 00:05:27,517
( sobbing )
106
00:05:28,385 --> 00:05:33,590
OH, HAROLD, I TOLD YOU
NOT TO GO TO THE STRIP CLUB.
107
00:05:34,024 --> 00:05:36,626
MA'AM, I WAS THE ONE THAT
ACCIDENTALLY LAP-DANCED
108
00:05:36,626 --> 00:05:38,795
YOUR HUSBAND TO DEATH.
109
00:05:38,795 --> 00:05:40,530
AND, IF IT'S
ANY CONSOLATION,
110
00:05:40,964 --> 00:05:43,567
HE SEEMED REAL HAPPY
RIGHT BEFORE HE DIED.
111
00:05:43,567 --> 00:05:45,302
( sobbing louder )
112
00:05:45,302 --> 00:05:50,073
ALSO, I REALLY BELIEVE HE
KNEW IT WAS HIS TIME TO GO.
113
00:05:50,073 --> 00:05:52,676
IN FACT,
HIS LAST WORDS WERE,
114
00:05:52,676 --> 00:05:56,146
"JESUS, I'M COMING,
HERE I COME !
115
00:05:56,580 --> 00:06:00,917
OH, GOD,
JESUS, HERE I COME !"
116
00:06:03,954 --> 00:06:05,689
EXCUSE ME WIDOW-- MA'AM,
117
00:06:05,689 --> 00:06:07,424
I AM THE MANAGER
HERE AT THE TENDERLOINS
118
00:06:07,858 --> 00:06:11,762
AND I JUST WANTED TO EXPRESS
MY SINCERE CONDOLENCES
119
00:06:11,762 --> 00:06:13,930
AND SAY THAT IF THERE IS
ANYTHING WE CAN DO,
120
00:06:13,930 --> 00:06:16,967
PLEASE DON'T
HESITATE TO ASK.
121
00:06:16,967 --> 00:06:18,268
BY THE WAY,
THIS IN NO WAY CONSTITUTES
122
00:06:18,268 --> 00:06:19,569
AN ADMISSION OF GUILT
OR CULPABILITY
123
00:06:19,569 --> 00:06:20,871
EITHER FINANCIAL OR LEGAL.
124
00:06:20,871 --> 00:06:23,473
( beeping & vibrating )
125
00:06:27,377 --> 00:06:29,112
AGENT 69 HERE.
126
00:06:29,112 --> 00:06:30,414
WHAT'S GOING ON,
CHIEF ?
127
00:06:30,414 --> 00:06:32,582
A GIANT BEAVER IS
THREATENING THE WELL-BEING
128
00:06:32,582 --> 00:06:33,884
OF THE CITIZENS OF
OUR GREAT CITY.
129
00:06:33,884 --> 00:06:34,751
WHAT ?
130
00:06:34,751 --> 00:06:36,052
DID YOU SAY
"GIANT BEAVER" ?
131
00:06:36,486 --> 00:06:38,221
CALM DOWN, GET A GRIP
ON YOURSELF, DAMN IT !
132
00:06:38,221 --> 00:06:39,523
THIS IS NO TIME TO PANIC !
133
00:06:39,523 --> 00:06:41,258
I'M NOT PANICKING,
I'M MERELY ASKING IF--
134
00:06:41,258 --> 00:06:42,559
WELL, YOU SHOULD BE
PANICKING !
135
00:06:42,559 --> 00:06:43,860
THIS IS
A SERIOUS SITUATION.
136
00:06:43,860 --> 00:06:46,029
PEOPLE AND ANYTHING MADE OF
WOOD ARE IN DANGER !
137
00:06:46,029 --> 00:06:47,764
THE BEAVER'S ALREADY
ATTACKED SEVERAL LUMBER YARDS
138
00:06:47,764 --> 00:06:49,933
BUILT SEVERAL SUBPAR DAMS
THAT AREN'T UP TO CODE
139
00:06:49,933 --> 00:06:51,234
AND DEVOURED
THE ENTIRE WOODWIND SECTION
140
00:06:51,234 --> 00:06:52,536
OF THE PHILHARMONIC
ORCHESTRA !
141
00:06:52,536 --> 00:06:53,837
THAT'S AWFUL !
142
00:06:53,837 --> 00:06:55,138
I KNOW...
143
00:06:55,138 --> 00:06:56,440
I HAD TICKETS FOR
TONIGHT'S PERFORMANCE.
144
00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:57,307
NOW, GET OUT THERE
145
00:06:57,307 --> 00:07:00,777
AND DO SOMETHING
SUPERHERO/SECRET-AGENTY.
146
00:07:42,119 --> 00:07:43,854
( snoring )
147
00:07:43,854 --> 00:07:46,456
WHAT'S GOING ON ?
148
00:07:46,456 --> 00:07:48,625
IT'S SOME SORT
OF ANIMAL !
149
00:07:54,264 --> 00:07:57,734
KIDS, QUICK,
CLIMB OUT !
150
00:07:57,734 --> 00:08:01,204
I CAN'T HOLD ON
MUCH LONGER !
151
00:08:01,204 --> 00:08:02,072
WOW, YOU'RE
STRIPPERELLA !
152
00:08:02,072 --> 00:08:02,939
I KNOW.
153
00:08:03,373 --> 00:08:04,241
PLEASE CLIMB OUT.
154
00:08:04,674 --> 00:08:05,976
HURRY !
155
00:08:14,217 --> 00:08:15,085
ARE YOU KIDS OKAY ?
156
00:08:15,519 --> 00:08:16,386
I GUESS SO.
157
00:08:16,386 --> 00:08:17,687
YOU RUINED
OUR BIKES !
158
00:08:17,687 --> 00:08:18,989
I SAVED YOUR LIVES.
159
00:08:18,989 --> 00:08:20,724
YEAH, BUT YOU
RUINED OUR BIKES !
160
00:08:20,724 --> 00:08:21,591
ARGH...
161
00:08:22,025 --> 00:08:25,495
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I'VE GOTTA GO BAG A BEAVER.
162
00:08:29,399 --> 00:08:32,435
HEY, BEAVER,
WANT SOME WOOD ?
163
00:08:33,303 --> 00:08:35,906
( growling )
164
00:08:37,207 --> 00:08:40,243
SUPER HAIRSPRAY,
DO YOUR STUFF !
165
00:08:40,677 --> 00:08:41,978
GOTCHA !
166
00:08:41,978 --> 00:08:45,448
YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE,
THAT HAIRSPRAY IS ULTRA-HOLD.
167
00:08:45,448 --> 00:08:46,750
PLUS, IT HAS
ENRICHED VITAMIN COMPLEX
168
00:08:46,750 --> 00:08:49,786
TO HELP KEEP YOUR HAIR
SHINY AND BRIGHT.
169
00:08:49,786 --> 00:08:51,087
YEAH !
YEAH !
170
00:08:51,087 --> 00:08:54,124
YEAH, BOY, STRIPPERELLA
CAUGHT THE BEAVER !
171
00:08:54,124 --> 00:08:55,859
NOW LET'S KILL IT !
172
00:08:55,859 --> 00:08:57,160
I'VE ALREADY CAUGHT IT.
173
00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:58,461
THERE'S
NO NEED FOR VIOLENCE.
174
00:08:58,461 --> 00:08:59,763
HE'S DESTROYING
OUR CITY.
175
00:08:59,763 --> 00:09:03,233
HE'S A DANGER TO OUR
CHILDREN AND OUR WOOD !
176
00:09:03,233 --> 00:09:06,269
( man )
HE RAISED OUR TAXES
REALLY HIGH !
177
00:09:06,703 --> 00:09:10,173
ISN'T THIS THE MOB
TO RECALL THE MAYOR ?
178
00:09:10,173 --> 00:09:13,210
NO, THIS IS THE MOB TO
DESTROY THE GIANT BEAVER.
179
00:09:13,210 --> 00:09:15,378
OH, SORRY, WRONG MOB.
180
00:09:15,812 --> 00:09:18,848
( chanting )
KILL THE BEAVER,
KILL THE BEAVER...
181
00:09:18,848 --> 00:09:21,885
( grunting )
182
00:09:22,319 --> 00:09:24,487
STOP,
YOU'RE HURTING IT !
183
00:09:24,487 --> 00:09:29,259
JA, STRIPPERELLA, GET IT
WITH YOUR LASER LIPSTICK !
184
00:09:32,295 --> 00:09:34,030
( old lady )
LOOK, HE'S GETTIN' AWAY !
185
00:09:34,464 --> 00:09:36,199
STRIPPERELLA LET HIM
GET AWAY !
186
00:09:36,633 --> 00:09:40,103
BOOO !
BOOO !
187
00:09:41,838 --> 00:09:43,573
( man )
I KNOW WE'RE ALL
CONCERNED, AND WELL,
188
00:09:43,573 --> 00:09:46,610
Y'KNOW, A LITTLE BAFFLED ABOUT
THE GIANT, SIX-FOOT BEAVER
189
00:09:47,043 --> 00:09:48,345
THAT'S BEEN TERRORIZING
OUR COMMUNITY.
190
00:09:48,345 --> 00:09:49,646
YEAH, UH, MAYOR,
191
00:09:49,646 --> 00:09:51,815
I JUST WANTED TO REMIND EVERYONE
THAT WE STILL NEED VOLUNTEERS
192
00:09:52,249 --> 00:09:53,550
FOR THE BAKE SALE
THIS WEEKEND.
193
00:09:53,984 --> 00:09:56,152
MITCHELL, NOW IS REALLY
NOT THE TIME.
194
00:09:56,152 --> 00:09:58,755
WE ARE DEALING WITH
A MORE PRESSING ISSUE.
195
00:09:58,755 --> 00:10:00,490
NOW, FOR ALL WE KNOW,
THERE WON'T BE A BAKE SALE.
196
00:10:00,490 --> 00:10:02,225
YOU'RE GONNA CANCEL
THE BAKE SALE ?
197
00:10:02,225 --> 00:10:03,960
NO, NOW,
I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
198
00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:05,262
WELL, I KINDA NEED TO KNOW.
199
00:10:05,695 --> 00:10:08,732
IT TAKES ME A LONG TIME TO
MAKE MY DELICIOUS POPOVERS
200
00:10:08,732 --> 00:10:10,467
AND I WAS GONNA
START TONIGHT.
201
00:10:10,467 --> 00:10:12,202
FORGET THE DAMN POPOVERS !
202
00:10:12,202 --> 00:10:14,371
WHAT ARE WE GONNA
DO ABOUT THE BEAVER !
203
00:10:14,371 --> 00:10:15,238
YEAH !
204
00:10:15,238 --> 00:10:16,973
STRIPPERELLA SURE
AIN'T GONNA HELP US,
205
00:10:16,973 --> 00:10:18,708
SHE LET THE BEAVER GO !
206
00:10:18,708 --> 00:10:20,010
I HAD TO LET IT GO--
207
00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:23,480
I MEAN,
SHE HAD TO LET IT GO.
208
00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:26,516
PROBABLY BECAUSE THE ANGRY MOB
WAS TRYING TO KILL IT.
209
00:10:26,516 --> 00:10:29,119
I'M SURE IF STRIPPERELLA
WERE HERE-- AND SHE'S NOT--
210
00:10:29,119 --> 00:10:32,155
SHE WOULD SAY THAT THE BEAVER IS
JUST A POOR DEFENSELESS ANIMAL
211
00:10:32,155 --> 00:10:34,758
WHO PROBABLY HAS NO IDEA
THAT IT'S CAUSING ANY HARM.
212
00:10:34,758 --> 00:10:36,926
THEN, SHE WOULD SAY THAT
WE NEED TO FIND A WAY
213
00:10:36,926 --> 00:10:38,662
TO CAPTURE IT, HUMANELY.
214
00:10:39,095 --> 00:10:41,698
YEAH, LET'S
CAPTURE IT HUMANELY !
215
00:10:41,698 --> 00:10:43,433
THEN WE CAN TORTURE
AND KILL IT.
216
00:10:43,433 --> 00:10:45,168
YOU KINDA
MISSED THE POINT.
217
00:10:45,602 --> 00:10:48,204
THE BEAVER'S A MENACE,
IT HAS TO BE KILLED !
218
00:10:48,638 --> 00:10:49,939
IT ATE MY HOUSE !
219
00:10:49,939 --> 00:10:52,542
IT DAMMED UP
MY SWIMMING POOL !
220
00:10:52,542 --> 00:10:54,711
HE DEVOURED ME' PEGLEG !
221
00:10:54,711 --> 00:10:56,446
ARGH !
222
00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:59,482
I WAS ONCE BITTEN
BY AN ODD, GLOWING BEAVER,
223
00:10:59,916 --> 00:11:02,519
SO I KNOW, FIRST HAND,
HOW DANGEROUS THEY CAN BE.
224
00:11:02,519 --> 00:11:04,254
IT HAS TO BE KILLED !
225
00:11:04,254 --> 00:11:06,423
COME ON, EVERYBODY,
LET'S ALL CHANT !
226
00:11:06,856 --> 00:11:08,591
KILL THE BEAVER...
227
00:11:09,025 --> 00:11:12,062
( all )
KILL THE BEAVER,
KILL THE BEAVER,
228
00:11:12,062 --> 00:11:13,797
KILL THE BEAVER !
229
00:11:13,797 --> 00:11:15,532
NOW, JUST THE GIRLS.
230
00:11:15,965 --> 00:11:18,568
( all girls )
KILL THE BEAVER,
KILL THE BEAVER,
231
00:11:18,568 --> 00:11:20,737
KILL THE BEAVER !
232
00:11:20,737 --> 00:11:22,472
( nails screeching )
233
00:11:22,906 --> 00:11:25,075
I'LL KILL
YOUR BEAVER FOR YA,
234
00:11:25,075 --> 00:11:26,810
BUT IT'S GONNA COST YA.
235
00:11:26,810 --> 00:11:27,677
WHO'S THAT ?
236
00:11:28,111 --> 00:11:29,846
THAT'S LANCE SHAW,
BEAVER HUNTER.
237
00:11:29,846 --> 00:11:32,449
HE'S GOTTEN MORE TAIL
THAN ANYONE I'VE EVER MET.
238
00:11:32,449 --> 00:11:35,485
FOR $1,500 I'LL
CATCH 'ER AND KILL 'ER.
239
00:11:35,485 --> 00:11:38,955
FOR $2,000 I'LL CATCH 'ER,
KILL 'ER, SKIN HER
240
00:11:38,955 --> 00:11:40,690
AND COOK 'ER UP FOR DINNER.
241
00:11:40,690 --> 00:11:42,859
EWW, WHO WOULD
WANNA EAT BEAVER ?
242
00:11:43,293 --> 00:11:45,462
FOR $3,000 I'LL CATCH HER,
KILL HER, COOK HER
243
00:11:45,462 --> 00:11:47,630
AND MAKE HER SKIN
INTO A BIKINI.
244
00:11:48,064 --> 00:11:51,534
FOR $27.95, I'LL DO ALL THAT
WHILE WEARING A DRESS.
245
00:11:51,534 --> 00:11:54,137
SO, DO WE HAVE A DEAL ?
246
00:11:54,137 --> 00:11:56,306
WE HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE,
YOU'RE HIRED.
247
00:11:56,306 --> 00:11:57,607
KILL THE BEAVER
KILL THE BEAVER
248
00:11:58,041 --> 00:11:59,342
KILL THE BEAVER--
KILL THE BEAVER
249
00:11:59,342 --> 00:12:00,643
KILL THE BEAVER
KILL THE BEAVER
250
00:12:01,077 --> 00:12:02,379
KILL THE BEAVER--
KILL THE BEAVER
251
00:12:02,812 --> 00:12:04,547
WAIT ! WE CAN
CATCH IT SAFELY.
252
00:12:04,981 --> 00:12:06,282
( all )
SORRY, LADY,
253
00:12:06,282 --> 00:12:08,451
WE WANT THE BEAVER DEAD !
254
00:12:08,885 --> 00:12:12,355
KILL THE BEAVER,
KILL THE BEAVER...
255
00:12:15,925 --> 00:12:17,226
THAT'S SOME BEAVER SHOT.
256
00:12:17,226 --> 00:12:20,262
THAT IS THE BIGGEST, HAIRIEST
BEAVER I'VE EVER SEEN.
257
00:12:22,431 --> 00:12:24,166
THERE'S GOT TO BE A WAY
TO CAPTURE THE BEAVER
258
00:12:24,166 --> 00:12:25,468
BEFORE THE BEAVER HUNTER
KILLS IT
259
00:12:25,468 --> 00:12:26,769
AND COOKS IT
AND SKINS IT
260
00:12:26,769 --> 00:12:28,938
AND TURNS ITS HIDE
INTO A BIKINI !
261
00:12:28,938 --> 00:12:31,107
( Agent 14 )
AH, IT'S NOT
GOING TO BE THAT SIMPLE.
262
00:12:31,107 --> 00:12:32,408
AH, SPECIAL AGENT 14.
263
00:12:32,408 --> 00:12:33,709
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT ?
264
00:12:33,709 --> 00:12:37,179
WE'VE TAKEN SAMPLES OF
THE BEAVER'S SALIVA AND D.N.A.
265
00:12:37,179 --> 00:12:39,348
AND WE HAVE DETERMINED THAT
WE ARE NOT DEALING WITH
266
00:12:39,782 --> 00:12:42,818
JUST A REGULAR,
ORDINARY GIANT EVIL BEAVER.
267
00:12:42,818 --> 00:12:46,722
WHAT WE HAVE HERE
IS A WEREBEAVER.
268
00:12:47,156 --> 00:12:48,457
WEREBEAVER ?
269
00:12:48,457 --> 00:12:51,060
THE LEGEND SAYS THAT A MAN WHO
IS BITTEN BY THE WEREBEAVER
270
00:12:51,494 --> 00:12:53,663
WILL HIMSELF
BECOME A WEREBEAVER
271
00:12:53,663 --> 00:12:56,699
WHEN THE MOON IS A 3/4
WAXING CRESCENT.
272
00:12:57,133 --> 00:12:58,434
IF THIS REALLY
IS A WEREBEAVER,
273
00:12:58,868 --> 00:13:00,603
THEN WE HAVE TO FIND A WAY
TO TURN HIM BACK INTO A MAN.
274
00:13:00,603 --> 00:13:02,338
THEN I CAN HURT HIM
AS MUCH AS I WANT
275
00:13:02,338 --> 00:13:03,205
AND NOT FEEL BAD.
276
00:13:03,639 --> 00:13:04,940
ALL I HAVE TO DO
IS FIND HIM.
277
00:13:04,940 --> 00:13:06,242
BINGO !
278
00:13:06,242 --> 00:13:08,844
MIDNIGHT TONIGHT AT
JOLLY LAND AMUSEMENT PARK.
279
00:13:08,844 --> 00:13:11,447
THE GRAND OPENING OF
THE EXTREMINATOR,
280
00:13:11,881 --> 00:13:15,351
THE WORLD'S LARGEST ROLLER
COASTER MADE ENTIRELY OF WOOD.
281
00:13:15,351 --> 00:13:16,652
WELL, STRIPPERELLA,
282
00:13:16,652 --> 00:13:20,122
I THINK YOUR BEAVER
IS ABOUT TO BE EXPOSED.
283
00:13:20,122 --> 00:13:22,291
DARN IT !
284
00:13:23,592 --> 00:13:24,460
HMM, NUMBER TWO.
285
00:13:24,460 --> 00:13:25,761
HEY, LARRY,
HOW'S IT SHAKING ?
286
00:13:25,761 --> 00:13:27,930
OH, MAN,
I HAD A ROUGH NIGHT.
287
00:13:28,364 --> 00:13:29,665
I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING.
288
00:13:29,665 --> 00:13:31,400
THIS MORNING
I WOKE UP IN THE WOODS
289
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:34,437
I WAS NAKED AND COVERED
IN SAWDUST AND BLOOD
290
00:13:34,870 --> 00:13:36,605
AND MY FACE
WAS FULL OF SPLINTERS
291
00:13:36,605 --> 00:13:38,774
AND MY BREATH
SMELLED LIKE WOOD.
292
00:13:38,774 --> 00:13:39,642
OH, NO BIG DEAL,
293
00:13:39,642 --> 00:13:40,943
THAT HAPPENS TO ME
ALL THE TIME.
294
00:13:40,943 --> 00:13:42,244
MAN, I CAN'T WAIT
TO GET OFF WORK.
295
00:13:42,678 --> 00:13:44,413
I'M GONNA CHECK OUT THAT NEW
ROLLER COASTER AT JOLLY LAND.
296
00:13:44,413 --> 00:13:45,281
WANNA GO ?
297
00:13:45,715 --> 00:13:47,016
OH, NO THANKS, LAST TIME
I WENT ON A ROLLER COASTER
298
00:13:47,450 --> 00:13:49,618
I WAS SITTING BEHIND
THIS OVERWEIGHT LADY
299
00:13:50,052 --> 00:13:51,353
WHO'S SEAT BELT BROKE,
300
00:13:51,353 --> 00:13:52,655
AND WE WENT THROUGH
ONE OF THOSE LOW TUNNELS
301
00:13:52,655 --> 00:13:54,824
AND SHE GOT DECAPITATED.
302
00:13:54,824 --> 00:13:57,426
I SPENT THE REST OF THE RIDE
WITH HER SEVERED HEAD IN MY LAP
303
00:13:57,426 --> 00:13:58,728
AND, SINCE THEN,
304
00:13:58,728 --> 00:14:00,896
I'VE JUST HAD THIS THING
ABOUT ROLLER COASTERS.
305
00:14:00,896 --> 00:14:01,764
AND OVERWEIGHT PEOPLE.
306
00:14:01,764 --> 00:14:03,065
YOU SURE
YOU DON'T WANNA GO ?
307
00:14:03,065 --> 00:14:05,234
THE ROLLER COASTER'S MADE
ENTIRELY OUT OF WOOD.
308
00:14:05,234 --> 00:14:07,403
CAN YOU IMAGINE
HOW MUCH WOOD THEY USED ?
309
00:14:07,403 --> 00:14:09,572
I MEAN, JUST THINK ABOUT
ALL THAT WOOD.
310
00:14:09,572 --> 00:14:10,873
WOOD, HUH ?
311
00:14:10,873 --> 00:14:12,174
HEY, IT'S A LITTLE
STUFFY IN HERE.
312
00:14:12,608 --> 00:14:16,078
WHY DON'T I OPEN THE WINDOW
AND LET A LITTLE MOONLIGHT IN.
313
00:14:16,078 --> 00:14:19,548
SURE, A LITTLE MOONLIGHT
WOULD BE NICE.
314
00:14:20,416 --> 00:14:21,717
WOW, LOOK AT THAT MOON.
315
00:14:21,717 --> 00:14:23,018
WOULD YOU SAY
THAT'S A HALF MOON ?
316
00:14:23,018 --> 00:14:25,187
NO, MORE LIKE 3/4
WAXING CRESCENT.
317
00:14:25,187 --> 00:14:26,922
YEAH, DEFINITELY
A 3/4 WAXING CRESCENT.
318
00:14:27,356 --> 00:14:30,826
HEY, YOU AREN'T LARRY.
319
00:14:31,260 --> 00:14:33,429
THE EXTREMINATOR
OPENS IN ONE HOUR.
320
00:14:33,429 --> 00:14:34,730
I'M SURE THE WEREBEAVER'S
GONNA SHOW UP.
321
00:14:34,730 --> 00:14:37,333
I HAVE TO GET THERE TO
MAKE SURE NO ONE GETS HURT,
322
00:14:37,333 --> 00:14:38,200
INCLUDING THE BEAVER.
323
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:39,502
DON'T WORRY,
STRIPPERELLA,
324
00:14:39,502 --> 00:14:41,237
WE'VE BEEN DOING
A LOT OF BEAVER RESEARCH.
325
00:14:41,237 --> 00:14:42,972
BEFORE TODAY, WE REALLY
KNEW NOTHING ABOUT BEAVERS.
326
00:14:43,405 --> 00:14:45,574
I'VE NEVER EVEN SEEN
A REAL BEAVER BEFORE.
327
00:14:45,574 --> 00:14:46,876
JUST PICTURES IN MAGAZINES.
328
00:14:47,309 --> 00:14:48,177
OH, I HAVE, ONCE.
329
00:14:48,177 --> 00:14:50,346
BUT IT WAS
A LONG TIME AGO AT CAMP.
330
00:14:50,346 --> 00:14:52,515
ANYWAY, USING THE HAIR
OF THE BEAVER,
331
00:14:52,948 --> 00:14:53,816
WE DEVELOPED AN ANTIDOTE
332
00:14:53,816 --> 00:14:55,985
THAT WILL TRANSFORM IT
BACK TO A REGULAR MAN.
333
00:14:56,418 --> 00:14:57,286
OR A WOMAN.
334
00:14:57,286 --> 00:14:59,021
WE PUT THE FORMULA
IN THIS SILVER SYRINGE.
335
00:14:59,021 --> 00:14:59,889
AH, I GET IT.
336
00:15:00,322 --> 00:15:01,624
SILVER CAN DEFEAT
THE WEREBEAVER.
337
00:15:01,624 --> 00:15:05,094
NO, WE JUST HAPPENED TO HAVE
A SILVER SYRINGE LYING AROUND.
338
00:15:05,094 --> 00:15:05,961
OKAY,
SO ALL I HAVE TO DO
339
00:15:06,395 --> 00:15:07,696
IS GIVE THE BEAVER
A LITTLE INJECTION ?
340
00:15:07,696 --> 00:15:08,998
I'M AFRAID IT'S
NOT GOING TO BE THAT EASY
341
00:15:09,431 --> 00:15:11,600
TO PRICK THE BEAVER,
ITS FUR IS VERY THICK.
342
00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:12,902
YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE
TO PENETRATE IT.
343
00:15:12,902 --> 00:15:14,637
SO, FIRST, YOU'RE
GOING TO HAVE TO REMOVE
344
00:15:15,070 --> 00:15:17,239
A SMALL PATCH OF
THE BEAVER'S HAIR.
345
00:15:17,239 --> 00:15:18,541
I HAVE TO
SHAVE THE BEAVER ?
346
00:15:18,541 --> 00:15:19,842
YOU CAN USE THIS
LASER HAIR REMOVER.
347
00:15:20,276 --> 00:15:21,143
HAL GOT THAT FROM
HIS MOTHER.
348
00:15:21,577 --> 00:15:22,878
SHE USES IT TO
REMOVE HER MOUSTACHE.
349
00:15:23,312 --> 00:15:24,180
DOES NOT !
350
00:15:24,180 --> 00:15:25,481
SHE USES IT
ON HER BACK.
351
00:15:25,481 --> 00:15:26,348
THANKS GUYS,
GOOD WORK.
352
00:15:26,348 --> 00:15:28,517
I'M OFF TO
STICK IT TO THE BEAVER.
353
00:15:30,252 --> 00:15:31,987
( man )
GOOD EVENING, WOODEN
ROLLER COASTER LOVERS !
354
00:15:32,421 --> 00:15:34,156
NOW, WE COULDN'T FIND
A TARP BIG ENOUGH
355
00:15:34,156 --> 00:15:35,457
TO COVER
THE ENTIRE ROLLER COASTER
356
00:15:35,457 --> 00:15:37,626
SO THANK Y'ALL FOR
COVERING YOUR EYES.
357
00:15:37,626 --> 00:15:40,229
ON BEHALF OF THE JOLLY LLAMA
AND MYSELF, THE MAYOR,
358
00:15:40,229 --> 00:15:45,000
I PRESENT TO YOU,
THE EXTREMINATOR !
359
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,735
YOU CAN OPEN YOUR EYES NOW.
360
00:15:46,735 --> 00:15:48,904
WHOA !
WOW !
361
00:15:48,904 --> 00:15:51,507
WOOD !
362
00:15:54,109 --> 00:15:57,146
THIS SCAR'S FROM A BEAVER
I CONQUERED IN MADAGASCAR
363
00:15:57,146 --> 00:15:58,881
BACK IN '87.
364
00:15:58,881 --> 00:16:01,917
THESE DAYS I WON'T GET NEAR
A BEAVER WITHOUT PROTECTION.
365
00:16:16,698 --> 00:16:19,735
( screams & cheering )
366
00:16:19,735 --> 00:16:20,602
THE BEAVER !
367
00:16:22,337 --> 00:16:25,374
( man )
HEY, THAT'S NOT A LLAMA !
368
00:16:25,374 --> 00:16:27,109
THIS IS A GUY
IN A LLAMA SUIT !
369
00:16:27,109 --> 00:16:28,844
I'M SO SORRY.
370
00:16:28,844 --> 00:16:29,711
YOU'RE THE JOLLY LLAMA.
371
00:16:29,711 --> 00:16:31,013
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
THE WEREBEAVER AND--
372
00:16:31,013 --> 00:16:33,615
( woman )
LOOK, THE BEAVER !
373
00:16:33,615 --> 00:16:34,916
OH, NO !
374
00:16:35,350 --> 00:16:37,953
THE WOOD HE'S EATING COULD
CAUSE THE TRACK TO COLLAPSE !
375
00:16:40,122 --> 00:16:41,423
( screaming )
376
00:16:41,857 --> 00:16:42,724
THOSE PEOPLE
WILL BE KILLED !
377
00:16:43,158 --> 00:16:44,026
STOP THE RIDE !
378
00:16:44,026 --> 00:16:45,761
WELL, I KNOW,
BUT THERE'S NO STOP BUTTON.
379
00:16:45,761 --> 00:16:47,062
SEE, IT'S ON BACK ORDER.
380
00:16:47,062 --> 00:16:48,363
APPARENTLY THE COMPANY
ACCIDENTALLY SENT
381
00:16:48,797 --> 00:16:50,098
TWO START BUTTONS AND--
382
00:16:50,098 --> 00:16:51,833
UGH... !
383
00:17:01,376 --> 00:17:04,413
THAT'S WHAT I CALL
A BEAUTIFUL BEAVER.
384
00:17:04,413 --> 00:17:07,449
I CAN'T WAIT TO STUFF YOU
AND MOUNT YOU.
385
00:17:07,449 --> 00:17:10,052
BUT FIRST,
I GOTTA KILL YA.
386
00:17:10,052 --> 00:17:13,088
SAY GOODBYE, BEAVER.
387
00:17:13,955 --> 00:17:16,558
AAHHH... !
388
00:17:18,293 --> 00:17:19,161
( splat )
389
00:17:19,161 --> 00:17:20,028
( whistles )
390
00:17:20,028 --> 00:17:22,197
OH, NO !
391
00:17:26,968 --> 00:17:28,270
( roaring )
392
00:17:28,704 --> 00:17:31,306
( grunting )
393
00:17:31,740 --> 00:17:33,909
( gasping )
394
00:17:42,150 --> 00:17:44,753
AAAHH !
395
00:17:47,356 --> 00:17:49,091
AAAHH !
396
00:17:50,392 --> 00:17:52,994
( wheezing )
397
00:17:57,332 --> 00:17:59,501
THE ANTIDOTE !
398
00:18:06,441 --> 00:18:09,478
AAHH...
399
00:18:10,779 --> 00:18:12,948
( puffing )
400
00:18:19,020 --> 00:18:22,491
( cheering )
401
00:18:32,033 --> 00:18:33,769
WHAT HAPPENED ?
402
00:18:33,769 --> 00:18:35,937
YOU TURNED INTO A GIANT,
RAMPAGING WEREBEAVER.
403
00:18:36,371 --> 00:18:38,974
I HAD TO INJECT YOU WITH
AN ANTIDOTE TO TURN YOU BACK.
404
00:18:38,974 --> 00:18:40,275
REALLY ?
405
00:18:40,275 --> 00:18:42,010
SO, I WAS SCREAMING FOR
THE BEAVER TO BE KILLED
406
00:18:42,010 --> 00:18:44,613
BUT ALL THAT TIME
I REALLY WAS THE BEAVER ?
407
00:18:44,613 --> 00:18:45,914
IRONIC, HUH ?
408
00:18:46,348 --> 00:18:49,818
I SEE NOW THAT
KILLING BEAVERS IS WRONG.
409
00:18:49,818 --> 00:18:53,722
BEAVERS ARE WARM AND
SENSITIVE ANIMALS.
410
00:18:53,722 --> 00:18:55,891
THEY SHOULD BE STROKED
AND KISSED AND CARESSED
411
00:18:55,891 --> 00:18:58,927
AND PLAYED WITH UNTIL THEIR
CUTE LITTLE LIPS OPEN WIDE
412
00:18:58,927 --> 00:19:00,662
AND QUIVER WITH EXCITEMENT.
413
00:19:00,662 --> 00:19:02,397
SURE, SOMETIMES
THEY LIKE IT ROUGH
414
00:19:02,397 --> 00:19:03,698
AND YOU NEED TO BE
FIRM WITH THEM,
415
00:19:04,132 --> 00:19:06,301
BUT NOT KILL THEM,
IT'S JUST NOT RIGHT.
416
00:19:06,301 --> 00:19:08,036
YOU'VE LEARNED
A VALUABLE LESSON TODAY.
417
00:19:08,036 --> 00:19:09,337
AND, IF YOU'RE INTERESTED,
418
00:19:09,771 --> 00:19:11,506
WE COULD USE A GUY LIKE YOU
IN MY A.N.U.S.
419
00:19:11,506 --> 00:19:13,241
OH, YOU MEAN YOUR CHARITY,
420
00:19:13,241 --> 00:19:14,976
"ANIMALS NEED
UNIVERSAL SUPPORT" ?
421
00:19:14,976 --> 00:19:16,711
NOW THAT I'M ENLIGHTENED,
422
00:19:16,711 --> 00:19:20,182
I WOULD LOVE TO BE
INVOLVED WITH YOUR A.N.U.S.
423
00:19:20,182 --> 00:19:22,784
( crowd laughing )
424
00:19:23,218 --> 00:19:24,953
YOU KNOW
YOU'RE NAKED, RIGHT ?
425
00:19:24,953 --> 00:19:27,989
OH... MY GOD.
426
00:19:30,592 --> 00:19:31,893
AND SO ONCE AGAIN
THE CITY IS SAFE
427
00:19:32,327 --> 00:19:34,496
AND STRIPPERELLA
HAS SAVED THE DAY.
428
00:19:34,496 --> 00:19:35,797
IN A RELATED STORY,
429
00:19:35,797 --> 00:19:37,532
FORMER-WEREBEAVER,
LARRY TALBOT
430
00:19:37,532 --> 00:19:39,267
has signed a deal
to turn his story
431
00:19:39,267 --> 00:19:41,870
into a crappy
made-for-TV movie.
432
00:19:42,304 --> 00:19:44,906
WOW, THAT STIPPERELLA
SURE IS AMAZING.
433
00:19:44,906 --> 00:19:46,208
YEAH, SHE SURE IS.
434
00:19:46,208 --> 00:19:48,810
I WISH I COULD MEET
SOMEONE JUST LIKE HER.
435
00:19:48,810 --> 00:19:52,714
ONLY BIGGER AND SWEATIER
AND MAYBE NAMED CHARLIE.
436
00:19:52,714 --> 00:19:56,184
WELL, THIS IS IT,
I'M QUITTING.
437
00:19:56,184 --> 00:19:58,787
I JUST WANTED TO SAY BYE.
438
00:19:58,787 --> 00:20:00,088
GISELLE,
YOU CAN'T LEAVE.
439
00:20:00,088 --> 00:20:01,823
EROTIC DANCING
IS YOUR LIFE.
440
00:20:01,823 --> 00:20:03,992
I'LL JUST HAVE TO
GET ME A NEW LIFE.
441
00:20:03,992 --> 00:20:05,293
A bizarre twist
in the story of the man
442
00:20:05,727 --> 00:20:06,595
who was lap-danced to death
443
00:20:06,595 --> 00:20:08,330
at the Tenderloins
gentleman's club...
444
00:20:08,763 --> 00:20:10,065
WAIT, GISELLE,
LOOK AT THIS.
445
00:20:10,499 --> 00:20:11,366
Investigators
have discovered
446
00:20:11,366 --> 00:20:13,101
that the deceased man,
Harold Mills,
447
00:20:13,101 --> 00:20:16,571
didn't actually die of natural
causes as previously believed.
448
00:20:16,571 --> 00:20:18,740
It turns out he was murdered
by his wife, Beatrice.
449
00:20:18,740 --> 00:20:20,041
She confessed to the crime
450
00:20:20,041 --> 00:20:22,210
and admitted she did it
because she was angry at him
451
00:20:22,210 --> 00:20:23,945
for always
going to strip clubs.
452
00:20:23,945 --> 00:20:25,680
Police found traces of
arousitol in his system,
453
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:27,849
which, when taken in high doses,
can trigger a heart attack
454
00:20:27,849 --> 00:20:30,452
if the drug user becomes
aroused during a lap dance.
455
00:20:30,452 --> 00:20:31,753
Isn't that neat ?
456
00:20:31,753 --> 00:20:33,488
In a related story,
Beatrice Mills
457
00:20:33,488 --> 00:20:34,789
has signed a deal
to turn her story
458
00:20:34,789 --> 00:20:37,392
into a crappy
made-for-TV movie.
459
00:20:37,392 --> 00:20:38,693
GISELLE,
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT !
460
00:20:38,693 --> 00:20:40,428
HE WAS MURDERED,
ISN'T THAT GREAT ?
461
00:20:40,428 --> 00:20:41,730
IT WAS MURDER !
462
00:20:41,730 --> 00:20:44,332
OH, I'M SO HAPPY !
463
00:20:45,634 --> 00:20:46,501
SIR ?
464
00:20:46,501 --> 00:20:48,670
WOULD YOU LIKE
A LAP DANCE.
465
00:20:49,104 --> 00:20:50,839
I WAS GONNA
GO TAKE A LEAK,
466
00:20:50,839 --> 00:20:53,008
BUT WHY NOT ?
467
00:20:54,743 --> 00:20:57,779
( clapping )
468
00:20:59,080 --> 00:20:59,948
UGH !
469
00:21:00,382 --> 00:21:02,551
THANK YOU, SO MUCH.
470
00:21:02,551 --> 00:21:05,587
THAT'S MY GISELLE.
471
00:21:11,660 --> 00:21:13,828
( roaring )
472
00:21:22,504 --> 00:21:24,673
( deep growl )
473
00:21:45,060 --> 00:21:48,096
♪ Stripperella ♪
474
00:21:49,831 --> 00:21:52,434
♪ Stripperella ♪♪
33513
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