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1
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:19,169
SO WHEN I'M NOT VOLUNTEERING
AT THE CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL,
2
00:00:19,603 --> 00:00:20,904
I'M TRAVELING
AROUND THE WORLD,
3
00:00:20,904 --> 00:00:23,073
CRUSADING FOR ANIMAL RIGHTS
AND WORLD PEACE.
4
00:00:23,507 --> 00:00:26,543
( Stripperella thinking )
HE'S SO PERFECT AND HANDSOME.
5
00:00:26,543 --> 00:00:28,712
DON'T SAY ANYTHING STUPID,
DON'T SAY ANYTHING STUPID.
6
00:00:28,712 --> 00:00:30,447
I LIKE LETTUCE.
7
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:34,351
LETTUCE IS... NICE.
8
00:00:34,351 --> 00:00:36,520
OH !
9
00:00:38,255 --> 00:00:41,291
OOH, I'M SORRY,
I'M JUST A LITTLE NERVOUS.
10
00:00:41,725 --> 00:00:43,894
I DON'T GET TO DATE MUCH,
STRIPPER'S HOURS.
11
00:00:43,894 --> 00:00:46,497
IT'S GREAT YOU'RE SO HONEST
ABOUT WHAT YOU DO.
12
00:00:46,497 --> 00:00:48,665
I'VE DATED GIRLS IN THE PAST
WHO KEPT A LOT OF SECRETS.
13
00:00:48,665 --> 00:00:51,702
IT WAS ALMOST LIKE THEY
WERE LIVING A DOUBLE LIFE.
14
00:00:51,702 --> 00:00:53,871
OH, REALLY ?
15
00:00:56,473 --> 00:00:57,774
THIS IS A ROBBERY !
16
00:00:57,774 --> 00:01:00,377
YOU, GET ME ALL THE MONEY
FROM THE REGISTER.
17
00:01:00,377 --> 00:01:02,980
AND YOU, GET ME
THE CHICKEN CORDON BLEU
18
00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:05,582
AND THE CAESAR SALAD,
NO CROUTONS.
19
00:01:05,582 --> 00:01:07,317
AND IF I COULD GET
THE DRESSING ON THE SIDE,
20
00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:09,486
THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
21
00:01:10,354 --> 00:01:11,221
OH, NO !
22
00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:12,956
THE RESTAURANT'S
BEING ROBBED.
23
00:01:12,956 --> 00:01:15,559
EROTICA ?
24
00:01:15,559 --> 00:01:16,860
( zipper zipping )
25
00:01:16,860 --> 00:01:18,595
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE A SIDE
OF ASS-KICKING
26
00:01:18,595 --> 00:01:20,330
TO GO WITH YOUR ROBBERY ?
27
00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:23,800
STRIPPERELLA ?
OH, NO, IT'S A-- TAMPON ?
28
00:01:24,234 --> 00:01:25,536
A TAMPON...
29
00:01:25,536 --> 00:01:26,837
DAGGER !
30
00:01:32,910 --> 00:01:34,211
OH, SHISH !
31
00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:36,813
WHOA !
32
00:01:40,717 --> 00:01:42,452
( screaming )
IT BURNS !
33
00:01:42,452 --> 00:01:43,754
MAKE IT STOP !
34
00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:46,356
OKAY, HA !
35
00:01:50,260 --> 00:01:51,995
THAT OUGHTA HOLD YOU
'TIL THE POLICE ARRIVE.
36
00:01:51,995 --> 00:01:54,598
NOW, I'VE GOT A DATE
TO GET BACK TO.
37
00:01:54,598 --> 00:01:56,333
I MEAN, NO, I DON'T.
38
00:01:58,068 --> 00:01:59,369
( zipper zipping again )
39
00:02:04,575 --> 00:02:06,743
EROTICA, YOU MISSED IT,
THE PLACE WAS ROBBED.
40
00:02:07,177 --> 00:02:09,780
STRIPPERELLA WAS HERE,
WHERE DID YOU GO ?
41
00:02:09,780 --> 00:02:13,250
OH, UH, I HAD TO PUT
MONEY IN THE METER.
42
00:02:13,250 --> 00:02:14,985
BUT WE VALET PARKED.
43
00:02:14,985 --> 00:02:17,154
OH, RIGHT,
NOW, WHERE WERE WE ?
44
00:02:17,154 --> 00:02:20,190
I WAS SAYING HOW GREAT IT IS
THAT YOU ARE ALWAYS SO HONEST.
45
00:02:20,624 --> 00:02:23,660
OH, YEAH, THAT'S ME,
NO SECRETS HERE.
46
00:02:23,660 --> 00:02:25,395
HELP !
47
00:02:25,829 --> 00:02:27,564
IT'S FIRE !
FIRE !
48
00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:28,865
( screaming )
49
00:02:28,865 --> 00:02:31,902
I HAVE TO GO PUT
MORE MONEY IN THE METER !
50
00:02:51,855 --> 00:02:54,458
♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪
51
00:02:56,193 --> 00:02:58,795
♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪
52
00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:07,904
( organ playing "Bridal March" )
53
00:03:17,014 --> 00:03:18,315
( people screaming )
54
00:03:18,315 --> 00:03:20,484
HEY, YOU'RE NOT MY BRIDE !
55
00:03:20,484 --> 00:03:22,653
THAT'S RIGHT !
I'M NEVER THE BRIDE !
56
00:03:23,086 --> 00:03:26,556
I'M ALWAYS THE BRIDESMAID !
57
00:03:26,556 --> 00:03:27,424
WHAT DO YOU WANT ?
58
00:03:27,858 --> 00:03:29,593
I WANNA GET MARRIED !
59
00:03:29,593 --> 00:03:32,195
BUT IF I CAN'T,
THEN, NO ONE WILL.
60
00:03:32,195 --> 00:03:35,232
YOU MAY NOW KISS
THE BRIDESMAID !
61
00:03:37,401 --> 00:03:40,437
AAAHHHHH...
62
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:47,811
( people screaming )
63
00:03:50,414 --> 00:03:52,582
( man )
AHOY, MATES !
64
00:03:52,582 --> 00:03:56,486
FEAST YOUR GOOD EYE ON
THE GLORIOUS TREASURE CHEST OF
65
00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:58,655
GISELLE !
66
00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:00,824
( man whistling )
67
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:12,102
( screaming )
68
00:04:12,969 --> 00:04:13,837
ARRGHH !
69
00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:19,476
OOHHHH !
70
00:04:21,211 --> 00:04:22,512
ARRRH !
71
00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:29,886
OH, I'M GLAD SHE DOESN'T DO
72
00:04:29,886 --> 00:04:32,923
HER CHAINSAW
JUGGLING ROUTINE ANYMORE !
73
00:04:32,923 --> 00:04:34,224
OH, PLEASE BE GAY,
PLEASE BE GAY,
74
00:04:34,224 --> 00:04:35,959
PLEASE BE GAY,
PLEASE BE GAY !
75
00:04:36,393 --> 00:04:38,128
EROTICA ?
76
00:04:38,128 --> 00:04:39,863
JAMES !
77
00:04:42,899 --> 00:04:45,068
WHAT A SURPRISE !
78
00:04:47,237 --> 00:04:49,406
LEONARD, THIS IS THE GUY
I'VE BEEN DATING.
79
00:04:49,406 --> 00:04:50,707
NICE TO MEET YOU.
80
00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:52,008
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
81
00:04:52,008 --> 00:04:54,611
I'M GONNA GO TAKE
A COLD SHOWER.
82
00:04:55,479 --> 00:04:57,214
SO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ?
83
00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:58,515
I JUST FINISHED
MY POETRY WORKSHOP,
84
00:04:58,515 --> 00:04:59,816
AND I HAVE A FEW MINUTES
TO KILL
85
00:05:00,250 --> 00:05:01,118
BEFORE I GO
TO THE HOMELESS SHELTER
86
00:05:01,118 --> 00:05:02,419
TO HAND OUT FOOD.
87
00:05:02,419 --> 00:05:04,154
SO, I THOUGHT I'D STOP BY
AND SAY HI.
88
00:05:04,154 --> 00:05:06,323
MAYBE TONIGHT WE CAN GET
TOGETHER AT MY PLACE
89
00:05:06,323 --> 00:05:07,624
AND WATCH SOME MOVIES.
90
00:05:07,624 --> 00:05:10,660
AS LONG AS
IT'S A ROMANTIC COMEDY.
91
00:05:12,829 --> 00:05:14,131
( buzzing )
92
00:05:14,998 --> 00:05:16,299
OH, THAT MUST BE MY BELLY--
UH--
93
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:19,336
THAT'S MY PAGER...
OH, I FORGOT,
94
00:05:19,336 --> 00:05:21,505
I'M SUPPOSED TO DROP OFF TOYS
AT THE ORPHANAGE
95
00:05:21,505 --> 00:05:22,806
ON THE WAY
TO THE HOMELESS SHELTER !
96
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,107
I'D BETTER GO.
97
00:05:24,107 --> 00:05:26,276
I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT.
98
00:05:29,312 --> 00:05:30,614
WOW !
99
00:05:30,614 --> 00:05:32,783
HE'S CUTER THAN A JUNE BUG
IN A CACKLE BUSH !
100
00:05:32,783 --> 00:05:34,518
HE'S SO ROMANTIC.
101
00:05:34,518 --> 00:05:36,253
I NEVER THOUGHT
I'D MEET ANYONE LIKE HIM.
102
00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:38,422
I JUST WISH I DIDN'T HAVE TO LIE
TO HIM ALL THE TIME.
103
00:05:38,422 --> 00:05:39,723
LIE TO HIM ABOUT WHAT ?
104
00:05:40,157 --> 00:05:44,928
OH, UH, I TOLD HIM
THAT I USED TO BE A MAN.
105
00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:47,964
OH, YOU SHOULD TELL HIM
THE TRUTH !
106
00:05:47,964 --> 00:05:49,266
HE'LL STILL LIKE YOU,
107
00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:52,302
EVEN IF HE FINDS OUT
YOU'VE NEVER BEEN A MAN !
108
00:05:52,302 --> 00:05:54,037
OH, I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT.
109
00:05:54,037 --> 00:05:55,772
I REALLY THINK
HE MIGHT BE THE ONE.
110
00:05:56,206 --> 00:05:57,507
I THINK I'LL STEAL HIM
FROM YOU.
111
00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:58,809
HUH ?
112
00:05:58,809 --> 00:06:00,544
WHAT ?
I'M A BITCH, REMEMBER ?
113
00:06:00,544 --> 00:06:02,279
OH, YEAH.
RIGHT.
114
00:06:04,881 --> 00:06:07,050
( door opening and closing )
115
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:11,388
CHIEF STROGANOFF, AGENT 69,
REPORTING FOR DUTY.
116
00:06:11,822 --> 00:06:14,858
UH, CHIEF,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?
117
00:06:14,858 --> 00:06:17,027
I'M JUST TAKING
SOME SEXY BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHS
118
00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:19,629
TO SURPRISE THE WIFE WITH
ON VALENTINE'S DAY.
119
00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:21,364
BUT VALENTINE'S DAY
WAS TWO MONTHS AGO.
120
00:06:21,364 --> 00:06:25,268
RIGHT...
THANK GOD I'M NOT MARRIED.
121
00:06:25,268 --> 00:06:26,570
I THINK WE'RE DONE
FOR TODAY, LING.
122
00:06:27,003 --> 00:06:28,305
SEE YOU TOMORROW,
SAME TIME.
123
00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:31,341
SO, WHAT'S GOING ON ?
124
00:06:31,341 --> 00:06:32,642
IT'S NOT WHAT'S GOING ON,
125
00:06:33,076 --> 00:06:34,377
IT'S WHAT'S NOT GOING ON
THAT'S GOING ON.
126
00:06:34,377 --> 00:06:36,546
GROOMS ALL ACROSS THE CITY
127
00:06:36,546 --> 00:06:38,281
HAVE BEEN VANISHING
ON THEIR WEDDING DAY.
128
00:06:38,281 --> 00:06:39,583
COLD FEET ?
129
00:06:39,583 --> 00:06:42,185
NO, BUT MY ASS IS FREEZING,
DAMN METAL CHAIR.
130
00:06:42,185 --> 00:06:43,487
I MEAN, THE GROOMS.
131
00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:45,655
MAYBE THEY JUST GOT
PRE-WEDDING JITTERS.
132
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:47,390
THESE MEN
DIDN'T JUST DISAPPEAR.
133
00:06:47,390 --> 00:06:48,692
THEY WERE ABDUCTED
134
00:06:49,125 --> 00:06:51,294
BY SOMEONE CALLING HERSELF
"THE BRIDESMAID".
135
00:06:51,728 --> 00:06:53,463
UGH !
THAT DRESS IS HIDEOUS !
136
00:06:53,463 --> 00:06:55,198
YES.
137
00:06:55,198 --> 00:06:57,801
POLYESTER IS SO PASS←.
138
00:06:57,801 --> 00:06:59,536
NOW, HERE,
TAKE THESE WEDDING VIDEOS.
139
00:06:59,536 --> 00:07:01,271
THERE MIGHT BE SOME CLUES
IN THERE
140
00:07:01,705 --> 00:07:03,006
TO HELP US FIGURE OUT
WHERE "THE BRIDESMAID"
141
00:07:03,006 --> 00:07:04,741
IS GOING TO
STRIKE NEXT.
142
00:07:07,110 --> 00:07:09,279
( woman crying )
143
00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:12,315
OH, MY BABY BOY
IS GETTING MARRIED !
144
00:07:12,749 --> 00:07:17,087
THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY
OF MY ENTIRE LIFE !
145
00:07:17,087 --> 00:07:19,256
( crowd gasping )
146
00:07:19,256 --> 00:07:22,292
TIME TO LIVE HAPPILY
NEVERAFTER !
147
00:07:22,726 --> 00:07:23,593
( crowd screaming )
148
00:07:23,593 --> 00:07:28,798
NOW, THIS IS THE SADDEST DAY
OF MY ENTIRE LIFE !
149
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:33,136
( clapping and cheering )
150
00:07:36,606 --> 00:07:38,341
HUH ?
151
00:07:38,341 --> 00:07:40,944
TO HOLD, AND BLAH, BLAH--
OH, JUST KISS THE BRIDE !
152
00:07:40,944 --> 00:07:43,546
( grunting )
153
00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:52,656
( rewinding )
154
00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:57,427
THESE WEDDINGS
ARE SO BEAUTIFUL !
155
00:07:57,427 --> 00:07:58,295
WELL, EXCEPT FOR THE PART
156
00:07:58,295 --> 00:08:01,331
WHERE THE GROOMS
ALL GET ABDUCTED.
157
00:08:01,331 --> 00:08:02,632
( blowing nose )
158
00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:10,440
WAIT A MINUTE,
THE GROOMS' LAST NAMES.
159
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:13,476
BAKER, RICHARDS, IKINAWA,
DEGBERT.
160
00:08:13,476 --> 00:08:15,211
B-R-I-D...
161
00:08:15,211 --> 00:08:16,946
( gasping )
SHE'S SPELLING "BRIDESMAID" !
162
00:08:16,946 --> 00:08:19,983
THAT MEANS HER NEXT VICTIM
IS AN "E" !
163
00:08:19,983 --> 00:08:22,585
WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENTS,
HERE WE GO.
164
00:08:23,019 --> 00:08:23,887
NO...
165
00:08:23,887 --> 00:08:25,188
NO...
166
00:08:25,188 --> 00:08:26,056
"EMERSON".
167
00:08:26,489 --> 00:08:29,092
THE EMERSON WEDDING,
TODAY, AT SIX !
168
00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:32,128
OH, NO,
I ONLY HAVE 15 MINUTES !
169
00:08:32,562 --> 00:08:33,863
IT'S A GOOD THING
YOU'RE HERE, OZZY.
170
00:08:34,297 --> 00:08:35,165
OTHERWISE,
I WOULD HAVE NO REASON
171
00:08:35,165 --> 00:08:37,334
TO EXPLAIN EVERYTHING
OUT LOUD.
172
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:42,539
ONLY 10 MINUTES TO GO !
173
00:08:47,744 --> 00:08:49,479
DARN !
174
00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:59,022
DOUBLE DARN !
175
00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:03,360
( brakes squealing )
176
00:09:09,866 --> 00:09:12,035
NOW, THIS IS
JUST GETTING RIDICULOUS.
177
00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:18,108
( man )
DO YOU PROMISE TO BE FAITHFUL
TO YOUR WIFE,
178
00:09:18,108 --> 00:09:20,710
TO NEVER AGAIN KNOW
ANOTHER WOMAN'S TOUCH ?
179
00:09:20,710 --> 00:09:24,180
TO NEVER AGAIN EXPERIENCE
THE JOY OF SEXUAL INTIMACY
180
00:09:24,180 --> 00:09:28,084
WITH ANYONE NEW OR DIFFERENT
OR MORE ADVENTUROUS,
181
00:09:28,084 --> 00:09:29,386
OR YOUNGER,
182
00:09:29,386 --> 00:09:32,422
UNTIL SWEET DEATH
RELEASES YOU FROM THIS VOW ?
183
00:09:32,422 --> 00:09:33,289
UH...
184
00:09:33,723 --> 00:09:35,024
I-- I--
185
00:09:35,458 --> 00:09:37,193
( The Bridesmaid )
DON'T !
186
00:09:37,627 --> 00:09:39,362
( gasping )
187
00:09:39,362 --> 00:09:42,832
WHY DON'T YOU SMELL
MY LOVELY FLOWERS ?
188
00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:44,134
( moaning )
189
00:09:48,471 --> 00:09:50,640
DROP THAT GROOM,
BRIDESMAID !
190
00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:51,941
I DON'T THINK SO !
191
00:09:51,941 --> 00:09:53,676
I'VE GOT EXPLODING RICE,
192
00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:55,412
AND I'M NOT AFRAID
TO THROW IT !
193
00:09:55,412 --> 00:09:57,147
DON'T YOU KNOW
NOT TO THROW RICE AT WEDDINGS ?
194
00:09:57,580 --> 00:09:59,315
BIRDS EAT IT
AND THEY DIE !
195
00:09:59,315 --> 00:10:01,050
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO USE
BIRDSEED !
196
00:10:01,050 --> 00:10:04,521
I'M SORRY, BUT THEY WERE
ALL OUT OF EXPLODING BIRDSEED.
197
00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:05,822
HA !
198
00:10:06,256 --> 00:10:08,425
( people screaming )
199
00:10:09,292 --> 00:10:11,461
I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU
FOOT IN FACE !
200
00:10:11,461 --> 00:10:13,630
YOU MAY KICK THE BRIDE !
201
00:10:18,401 --> 00:10:20,570
DO YOU LIKE MY BOUQUET ?
202
00:10:21,004 --> 00:10:22,305
STRIPPERELLA,
LOOK OUT !
203
00:10:22,305 --> 00:10:24,040
THOSE FLOWERS ARE...
204
00:10:26,209 --> 00:10:27,944
NEVER MIND.
205
00:10:30,980 --> 00:10:32,282
( laughing )
206
00:10:35,752 --> 00:10:38,354
( man on television )
And, so, Stripperella completely
and utterly failed
207
00:10:38,354 --> 00:10:40,523
to stop the evil grooms-napper
208
00:10:40,523 --> 00:10:42,258
we've come to know
as "The Bridesmaid".
209
00:10:42,692 --> 00:10:44,861
Due to Stripperella's
humiliating ineptitude,
210
00:10:44,861 --> 00:10:47,897
couples everywhere are canceling
their weddings in fear.
211
00:10:48,331 --> 00:10:50,066
NEXT UP,
MY COLONOSCOPY VIDEO,
212
00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:52,669
AN INTRIGUING TRIP
DEEP INSIDE MY ASS.
213
00:10:52,669 --> 00:10:55,271
HEY, I WANTED TO SEE THAT !
214
00:10:55,271 --> 00:10:56,573
WHAT'S THE MATTER, LASSIE ?
215
00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:58,741
YOU LOOK SADDER
THAN A PAIR OF OLD BAGPIPES.
216
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:01,344
I JUST HATE
COLONOSCOPY VIDEOS.
217
00:11:01,344 --> 00:11:02,645
( buzzing )
218
00:11:04,814 --> 00:11:06,549
PERSEPHONE,
HOW COME I NEVER NOTICED
219
00:11:06,549 --> 00:11:08,718
YOU HAVE A SCOTTISH
ACCENT BEFORE ?
220
00:11:08,718 --> 00:11:10,453
I DON'T.
221
00:11:13,490 --> 00:11:15,225
AGENT 69, HERE,
WHAT'S UP ?
222
00:11:15,225 --> 00:11:17,393
We've figured out the identity
of The Bridesmaid.
223
00:11:17,827 --> 00:11:19,562
Her name is Molly Lumpkin.
224
00:11:19,562 --> 00:11:22,165
She was a bridesmaid
at over 35 weddings
225
00:11:22,165 --> 00:11:23,466
last year, alone.
226
00:11:23,466 --> 00:11:25,201
THAT POOR GIRL !
227
00:11:25,201 --> 00:11:26,936
THAT'S ENOUGH TO MAKE
ANYONE SNAP !
228
00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:29,973
We need to find out where
she's keeping those grooms.
229
00:11:29,973 --> 00:11:33,009
She may be planning on
killing them... or worse.
230
00:11:33,009 --> 00:11:34,744
WHAT'S WORSE
THAN KILLING THEM ?
231
00:11:34,744 --> 00:11:36,913
She may actually marry them.
232
00:11:36,913 --> 00:11:38,214
UH, CHIEF ?
233
00:11:38,214 --> 00:11:40,383
I DON'T THINK THAT'S WORSE
THAN KILLING.
234
00:11:40,383 --> 00:11:42,118
Clearly,
you've never been married.
235
00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:44,287
I THINK I KNOW
HOW TO FIND HER.
236
00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:46,022
CHIEF, IT'S TIME FOR US
TO HAVE A WEDDING.
237
00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:49,058
I'm sorry, Erotica,
but you're not my type.
238
00:11:49,058 --> 00:11:50,793
NO, NO !
239
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:53,396
WE'LL STAGE A FAKE WEDDING
TO LURE THE BRIDESMAID.
240
00:11:53,396 --> 00:11:54,697
Great idea.
241
00:11:54,697 --> 00:11:55,999
THEN IT'S OFFICIAL.
242
00:11:55,999 --> 00:12:00,435
THIS SUNDAY,
I'M GETTING MARRIED !
243
00:12:00,435 --> 00:12:03,472
OH GOD, YEAH...
244
00:12:03,472 --> 00:12:05,207
THE BRIDESMAID ONLY NEEDS
ONE MORE LETTER
245
00:12:05,207 --> 00:12:07,376
AND HER COLLECTION
OF GROOMS WILL BE COMPLETE !
246
00:12:07,809 --> 00:12:09,978
THIS WEDDING IS OUR LAST CHANCE
TO STOP HER !
247
00:12:10,412 --> 00:12:12,147
WE'VE MADE SOME MODIFICATIONS
TO YOUR WEDDING DRESS
248
00:12:12,147 --> 00:12:13,448
THAT SHOULD HELP YOU.
249
00:12:13,448 --> 00:12:15,183
WE'VE INSTALLED A PAIR
OF HIGH-POWERED FLASHLIGHTS
250
00:12:15,617 --> 00:12:16,918
INSIDE YOUR BUSTIER.
251
00:12:17,352 --> 00:12:20,822
YOUR WEDDING VEIL
IS ALSO A GAS MASK.
252
00:12:22,991 --> 00:12:24,726
AND WE'RE ABOUT TO
GIVE YOU AN S.T.D.
253
00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:26,028
A WHAT ?
254
00:12:26,028 --> 00:12:27,329
S.T.D.
255
00:12:27,329 --> 00:12:30,365
SECRET TRACKING DEVICE.
256
00:12:30,365 --> 00:12:31,666
AH...
257
00:12:31,666 --> 00:12:32,968
YES, WE CALL IT
"THE CLAP".
258
00:12:32,968 --> 00:12:34,269
BECAUSE IN ORDER
TO ACTIVATE IT,
259
00:12:34,269 --> 00:12:35,570
YOU HAVE TO CLAP.
260
00:12:36,004 --> 00:12:37,739
( beeping )
261
00:12:37,739 --> 00:12:39,041
I'VE DREAMT
ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
262
00:12:39,041 --> 00:12:40,776
SINCE I WAS A LITTLE GIRL !
263
00:12:41,209 --> 00:12:42,511
EXCEPT, IN MY DREAM,
IT WASN'T FAKE
264
00:12:42,944 --> 00:12:44,679
AND I WASN'T MARRYING
SPECIAL AGENT 14.
265
00:12:44,679 --> 00:12:49,017
DON'T WORRY, STRIPPERELLA,
I WON'T LET YOU DOWN !
266
00:12:49,017 --> 00:12:52,487
ESPECIALLY,
ON OUR FAKE HONEYMOON.
267
00:12:52,487 --> 00:12:54,222
I DON'T SEE WHY
HE GETS TO MARRY HER.
268
00:12:54,656 --> 00:12:55,957
I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE
TO MARRY HER.
269
00:12:55,957 --> 00:12:56,825
WHAT ?!
270
00:12:56,825 --> 00:12:58,126
I TOTALLY SHOULD BE
MARRYING HER.
271
00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:00,295
OH, LIKE SHE'D
REALLY MARRY YOU, GEEK.
272
00:13:00,295 --> 00:13:01,596
SPAZ !
VIRGIN !
273
00:13:01,596 --> 00:13:02,898
( gasping )
274
00:13:02,898 --> 00:13:05,934
I TOLD YOU THAT
IN STRICT CONFIDENCE.
275
00:13:10,705 --> 00:13:12,007
( James )
EROTICA ?
276
00:13:12,007 --> 00:13:13,308
WE NEED TO TALK.
277
00:13:13,308 --> 00:13:15,043
JAMES, WHAT'S WRONG ?
278
00:13:15,043 --> 00:13:16,778
I KNOW ABOUT MR. "D".
279
00:13:16,778 --> 00:13:18,947
I FOUND THIS WEDDING
ANNOUNCEMENT IN THE PAPER.
280
00:13:18,947 --> 00:13:21,116
I KNOW THIS LOOKS BAD,
BUT TRUST ME,
281
00:13:21,116 --> 00:13:23,285
I'M NOT REALLY
GETTING MARRIED.
282
00:13:27,622 --> 00:13:29,357
HUH ?
283
00:13:29,791 --> 00:13:30,659
( all )
SURPRISE !
284
00:13:31,093 --> 00:13:32,394
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE ?
285
00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:34,563
WELL, I OVERHEARD YOU
ON THE PHONE
286
00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:38,467
TALKING ABOUT YOUR WEDDING,
SO I TOLD EVERYONE !
287
00:13:38,467 --> 00:13:40,635
YOU DIDN'T THINK WE WERE
GOING LET YOU GET MARRIED
288
00:13:40,635 --> 00:13:42,804
WITHOUT THROWING YOU
A BACHELORETTE PARTY,
289
00:13:42,804 --> 00:13:44,106
DID YOU ?
290
00:13:44,106 --> 00:13:48,877
( laughing )
YOU TWO ARE SUCH
A PERFECT COUPLE.
291
00:13:48,877 --> 00:13:50,178
THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT, TOO.
292
00:13:50,178 --> 00:13:52,347
BUT THAT'S BEFORE I FOUND OUT
THAT TOMORROW
293
00:13:52,347 --> 00:13:54,516
EROTICA'S MARRYING ANOTHER MAN !
294
00:13:54,516 --> 00:13:55,817
JAMES, THERE'S
A GOOD EXPLANATION
295
00:13:55,817 --> 00:13:57,119
FOR ALL OF THIS.
296
00:13:57,119 --> 00:13:58,854
I'M JUST NOT ALLOWED
TO TELL YOU WHAT IT IS.
297
00:13:59,287 --> 00:14:00,155
GOODBYE, EROTICA.
298
00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:02,757
BUT, JAMES, WAIT !
299
00:14:02,757 --> 00:14:07,963
( chuckling )
HEY, THIS PARTY'S TURNING OUT
BETTER THAN I THOUGHT !
300
00:14:07,963 --> 00:14:09,264
I KNOW WHAT WILL CHEER YOU UP !
301
00:14:09,264 --> 00:14:13,168
I MADE YOU A CAKE IN THE SHAPE
OF ANTHONY HOPKINS' BUTT !
302
00:14:13,168 --> 00:14:15,770
THE HAIR
IS CHOCOLATE SPRINKLES.
303
00:14:21,409 --> 00:14:23,578
( The Bridesmaid )
SO, THEN, I WAS THINKING,
A SIMPLE SHEER SATIN GOWN
304
00:14:23,578 --> 00:14:26,181
WITH A DRAMATIC "V"
DOWN THE BACK.
305
00:14:26,181 --> 00:14:27,482
( giggling )
AND INSTEAD OF A VEIL, I--
306
00:14:27,482 --> 00:14:31,386
LOOK, IF YOU'RE GONNA KILL US,
PLEASE DO IT NOW !
307
00:14:31,386 --> 00:14:32,687
THIS IS HELL !
308
00:14:32,687 --> 00:14:33,989
WHAT DO YOU WANT ?!
309
00:14:33,989 --> 00:14:36,158
WHAT DO IWANT ?!
310
00:14:36,591 --> 00:14:40,495
I JUST WANNA GET MARRIED
BEFORE I'M 40 !
311
00:14:40,495 --> 00:14:41,796
IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK ?!
312
00:14:41,796 --> 00:14:47,869
I'VE BEEN IN 226 WEDDINGS
AND NOT ONE OF THEM WAS MINE.
313
00:14:47,869 --> 00:14:49,604
BUT THAT'S ABOUT TO CHANGE.
314
00:14:49,604 --> 00:14:51,773
YOU'VE ALL SHOWN THAT YOU'RE
NOT AFRAID OF COMMITMENT.
315
00:14:51,773 --> 00:14:56,978
YOU'RE ALL STILL SINGLE
AND YOU ALL OWN TUXES !
316
00:14:56,978 --> 00:14:58,280
MINE'S A RENTAL.
317
00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:00,015
AND, ACTUALLY,
I'M NOT SINGLE.
318
00:15:00,015 --> 00:15:01,750
YOU ABDUCTED ME
FROM MY RECEPTION.
319
00:15:01,750 --> 00:15:02,617
SHUT UP !
320
00:15:03,051 --> 00:15:04,352
NOW, ONE OF YOU
IS GOING TO MARRY ME,
321
00:15:04,352 --> 00:15:06,955
AND THE REST OF YOU ARE GOING
TO BE KILLED WITH THIS !
322
00:15:07,389 --> 00:15:09,558
AN ENGAGEMENT RING/DEADLY LASER.
323
00:15:09,558 --> 00:15:11,726
ALLOW ME
TO DEMONSTRATE.
324
00:15:14,329 --> 00:15:17,365
SOMETHING BORROWED,
SOMETHING BLUE.
325
00:15:17,365 --> 00:15:20,402
I DON'T WANT TO MARRY YOU !
326
00:15:20,402 --> 00:15:22,137
PREPARE TO DIE !
327
00:15:22,137 --> 00:15:24,306
OH, RIGHT,
KILL THE BLACK GUY FIRST.
328
00:15:24,306 --> 00:15:25,607
THAT'S ORIGINAL.
329
00:15:25,607 --> 00:15:28,210
NO, NO, REALLY,
THAT'S NOT THE REASON.
330
00:15:28,210 --> 00:15:29,945
IT WAS PURE CHANCE.
331
00:15:29,945 --> 00:15:31,246
YEAH, WHATEVER.
332
00:15:31,246 --> 00:15:33,848
WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO AND GET
YOURSELF A NICE WHITE HOOD
333
00:15:33,848 --> 00:15:35,584
TO GO WITH THAT
WEDDING DRESS, RACIST ?
334
00:15:35,584 --> 00:15:37,319
NO, NO,
I'M NOT A RACIST, OKAY ?
335
00:15:37,752 --> 00:15:39,487
HEY, GUESS WHAT ?
I'LL PROVE IT.
336
00:15:39,487 --> 00:15:40,789
I'LL KILL SOMEONE ELSE !
337
00:15:40,789 --> 00:15:42,524
YOU !
PREPARE TO DIE.
338
00:15:42,524 --> 00:15:45,126
YOU KNOW, I JUST REMEMBERED,
I AM 1/4 AMERICAN INDIAN.
339
00:15:45,126 --> 00:15:48,163
DON'T YOU THINK WE HAVE SUFFERED
ENOUGH AT YOUR HANDS, WHITEY ?
340
00:15:48,163 --> 00:15:49,464
JEWISH !
341
00:15:49,464 --> 00:15:50,332
GAY.
342
00:15:50,332 --> 00:15:52,067
ESKIMO.
343
00:15:55,537 --> 00:15:59,441
COME ON, BRIDESMAID,
SHOW YOUR FACE.
344
00:15:59,441 --> 00:16:02,911
I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU
MAN AND WIFE.
345
00:16:02,911 --> 00:16:04,212
YOU MAY KISS THE BRIDE.
346
00:16:04,646 --> 00:16:05,513
( spraying )
347
00:16:05,947 --> 00:16:07,682
COME ON, EROTICA.
348
00:16:07,682 --> 00:16:10,719
THE PEOPLE ARE
EXPECTING A SHOW !
349
00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:15,056
LET'S MAKE IT LOOK GOOD,
HUH ?
350
00:16:15,924 --> 00:16:17,225
( people gasping )
351
00:16:17,225 --> 00:16:18,093
( banging on glass )
352
00:16:18,526 --> 00:16:22,864
EROTICA, EROTICA !
353
00:16:22,864 --> 00:16:24,599
( grunting )
354
00:16:28,069 --> 00:16:29,371
OH, RIGHT, THANKS.
355
00:16:29,371 --> 00:16:31,539
JAMES !
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ?!
356
00:16:31,539 --> 00:16:34,142
I REALIZED I DIDN'T WANT
TO LOSE YOU !
357
00:16:34,142 --> 00:16:36,311
I CAN'T LET YOU
MARRY THAT MAN !
358
00:16:36,311 --> 00:16:39,347
OH, JAMES !
THAT'S SO ROMANTIC !
359
00:16:39,347 --> 00:16:41,082
THIS IS LIKE A FAIRYTALE !
360
00:16:41,516 --> 00:16:44,119
WITH A HAPPY ENDING FORME!
361
00:16:46,288 --> 00:16:50,191
CAN'T BREATHE...
LOSING CONSCIOUSNESS.
362
00:16:50,191 --> 00:16:53,228
TALKING TO... MYSELF.
363
00:16:55,397 --> 00:16:56,264
SHE'S GETTING AWAY !
364
00:16:56,264 --> 00:16:57,565
I STILL HAVE
"THE CLAP" !
365
00:16:57,565 --> 00:16:58,433
YOU HAVE THE CLAP ?
366
00:16:58,867 --> 00:17:00,168
NO !
IT'S AN S.T.D. !
367
00:17:00,168 --> 00:17:01,903
I HAVE THE CLAP, TOO !
368
00:17:02,337 --> 00:17:04,506
I'VE BEEN TOO AFRAID
TO ADMIT IT BEFORE NOW,
369
00:17:04,506 --> 00:17:06,241
BUT THANKS TO
EROTICA'S COURAGE,
370
00:17:06,241 --> 00:17:07,542
I CAN !
371
00:17:07,542 --> 00:17:09,711
BY THE WAY, HONEY,
YOU PROBABLY HAVE IT, TOO !
372
00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:14,049
( car horn
playing bridal march )
373
00:17:15,350 --> 00:17:17,952
COME ON, S.T.D. !
DO YOUR THING !
374
00:17:17,952 --> 00:17:19,688
( grunting )
375
00:17:20,989 --> 00:17:23,158
( beeping )
376
00:17:27,495 --> 00:17:30,965
GET READY, BRIDESMAID,
'CAUSE HERE COMES THE BRIDE !
377
00:17:35,036 --> 00:17:36,771
I'VE GOT THE PRIEST,
I'VE GOT THE GROOMS.
378
00:17:36,771 --> 00:17:38,506
WHO'S READY TO GET MARRIED ?
379
00:17:38,939 --> 00:17:40,241
ME !
ME ! ME !
380
00:17:40,241 --> 00:17:41,108
I DON'T WANNA DIE, ME !
381
00:17:41,542 --> 00:17:42,843
OKAY, GROOM NUMBER ONE,
382
00:17:42,843 --> 00:17:45,446
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY
IS MY BEST QUALITY ?
383
00:17:45,446 --> 00:17:46,747
UH, YOUR EYES ?
384
00:17:46,747 --> 00:17:48,482
EYES ?
MY EYES ?!
385
00:17:48,482 --> 00:17:51,519
NO, IT'S MY FRIGGIN' BIG HEART,
YOU JACKASS !
386
00:17:51,519 --> 00:17:54,121
I'M A VERY SWEET PERSON,
EVERYBODY SAYS SO !
387
00:17:54,121 --> 00:17:56,290
( zapping )
388
00:17:56,290 --> 00:17:58,025
GROOM NUMBER TWO...
389
00:18:00,628 --> 00:18:01,495
( beeping )
390
00:18:04,532 --> 00:18:05,833
GOTCHA !
391
00:18:05,833 --> 00:18:07,134
ALL RIGHT, BRIDESMAID,
392
00:18:07,568 --> 00:18:09,737
WHERE ARE
THE REST OF THE GROOMS ?
393
00:18:11,472 --> 00:18:13,207
I AM NOT THE BRIDESMAID !
394
00:18:13,207 --> 00:18:14,508
I AM THE EVIL FRENCH MAID !
395
00:18:14,942 --> 00:18:17,111
THE BRIDESMAID
IS ONE ROOM OVER.
396
00:18:17,111 --> 00:18:19,280
WE SPLIT THE RENT,
IT KEEPS THINGS AFFORDABLE.
397
00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:21,015
OH, SORRY.
398
00:18:21,015 --> 00:18:23,617
NOW, TIME FOR THE MOP !
399
00:18:24,051 --> 00:18:24,919
WHERE AM I ?
400
00:18:24,919 --> 00:18:26,220
I'M ASKING
THE QUESTION,S HERE !
401
00:18:26,220 --> 00:18:27,521
AND YOU'D BETTER
THINK CAREFULLY
402
00:18:27,955 --> 00:18:29,690
BECAUSE YOUR LIFE
MAY DEPEND ON YOUR ANSWER !
403
00:18:29,690 --> 00:18:31,425
IF YOU COULD CHANGE
ONE THING ABOUT ME,
404
00:18:31,425 --> 00:18:32,727
WHAT WOULD IT BE
AND WHY ?
405
00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:35,329
HI-YA !
406
00:18:35,763 --> 00:18:37,498
HOW INCREDIBLY CONVENIENT !
WE'RE FREE !
407
00:18:37,498 --> 00:18:38,799
( grunting )
408
00:18:38,799 --> 00:18:40,534
SORRY, STRIPPERELLA,
BUT I'M GETTING MARRIED !
409
00:18:40,534 --> 00:18:42,269
AND THERE'S NOTHING
YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME !
410
00:18:42,703 --> 00:18:44,004
( men screaming )
411
00:18:51,379 --> 00:18:54,415
ALL RIGHT, PREACHER,
START MARRYING !
412
00:18:54,415 --> 00:18:56,150
( muffled speaking )
413
00:18:56,150 --> 00:18:57,017
SAY "I DO" !
BUT--
414
00:18:57,017 --> 00:18:58,319
DO YOU WANNA LIVE ?!
415
00:18:58,319 --> 00:19:00,054
I DO !
416
00:19:00,054 --> 00:19:01,789
( muffled speaking )
417
00:19:01,789 --> 00:19:03,524
THIS IS IT,
FINALLY !
418
00:19:03,524 --> 00:19:04,825
I OBJECT !
419
00:19:04,825 --> 00:19:07,428
( grunting and screaming )
420
00:19:15,669 --> 00:19:17,838
GOODBYE, STRIPPERELLA !
421
00:19:23,911 --> 00:19:24,779
( car horn playing
bridal march )
422
00:19:24,779 --> 00:19:26,514
( dying out )
423
00:19:26,514 --> 00:19:28,249
SHE'S ALL YOURS, BOYS.
424
00:19:28,249 --> 00:19:29,984
UH, STRIPPERELLA ?
425
00:19:29,984 --> 00:19:31,285
YOUR HEADLIGHTS ARE ON.
426
00:19:31,285 --> 00:19:32,586
THANKS.
427
00:19:32,586 --> 00:19:34,321
STRIPPERELLA,
YOU SAVED ME !
428
00:19:34,321 --> 00:19:35,623
IT WAS NOTHING, JAMES--
429
00:19:35,623 --> 00:19:38,225
UH, IF THAT'S YOUR NAME
BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW IF IT IS.
430
00:19:38,659 --> 00:19:39,527
IT IS.
431
00:19:39,527 --> 00:19:40,828
YOU WERE AMAZING !
432
00:19:40,828 --> 00:19:41,695
WELL, THANKS.
433
00:19:42,129 --> 00:19:43,431
YOU KNOW WHAT ?
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
434
00:19:43,431 --> 00:19:44,732
( unzipping )
435
00:19:44,732 --> 00:19:45,599
JAMES, ARE YOU OKAY ?
436
00:19:46,033 --> 00:19:46,901
I'M FINE, EROTICA.
437
00:19:47,334 --> 00:19:48,636
LOOK, I'M SORRY
ABOUT EVERYTHING.
438
00:19:48,636 --> 00:19:50,805
I PROMISE,
NO MORE SECRET WEDDINGS.
439
00:19:50,805 --> 00:19:53,407
I'M SORRY, EROTICA,
BUT I MET SOMEONE ELSE.
440
00:19:53,407 --> 00:19:54,275
WHAT ?!
441
00:19:54,708 --> 00:19:55,576
I DON'T MEAN TO HURT YOU.
442
00:19:55,576 --> 00:19:57,311
SHE JUST SORT OF CAME
CRASHING INTO MY LIFE.
443
00:19:57,745 --> 00:19:59,046
I DIDN'T PLAN IT,
444
00:19:59,046 --> 00:20:00,781
BUT I WOULDN'T BE HONEST
WITH MYSELF OR YOU,
445
00:20:00,781 --> 00:20:02,950
IF I DIDN'T TELL YOU THAT
I'LL NEVER LOVE ANOTHER WOMAN
446
00:20:02,950 --> 00:20:04,685
AS MUCH AS I LOVE...
447
00:20:04,685 --> 00:20:05,986
STRIPPERELLA.
448
00:20:05,986 --> 00:20:09,890
BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND,
SEE, STRIPPERELLA IS--
449
00:20:09,890 --> 00:20:11,192
IS WHAT ?
450
00:20:11,192 --> 00:20:13,794
IS... IS GREAT,
I UNDERSTAND.
451
00:20:13,794 --> 00:20:15,963
I GUESS I CAN NEVER BE
THE WOMAN SHE IS.
452
00:20:15,963 --> 00:20:17,264
IF IT MEANS ANYTHING,
453
00:20:17,698 --> 00:20:19,867
IF SOMETHING WERE TO
EVER HAPPEN TO STRIPPERELLA,
454
00:20:19,867 --> 00:20:21,602
IF SHE WERE KILLED
OR HORRIBLY DISFIGURED
455
00:20:22,036 --> 00:20:23,771
OR DIDN'T AGE WELL,
456
00:20:24,205 --> 00:20:25,506
YOU'LL ALWAYS BE
MY SECOND CHOICE.
457
00:20:25,506 --> 00:20:27,241
THANKS ?
458
00:20:27,241 --> 00:20:30,277
DO YOU UNDERSTAND THESE RIGHTS
THAT WE HAVE READ TO YOU ?
459
00:20:30,277 --> 00:20:31,579
I DO.
460
00:20:31,579 --> 00:20:33,747
YOU KNOW, I UNDERSTAND
WHY YOU DID WHAT YOU DID.
461
00:20:33,747 --> 00:20:35,049
WE ALL WANNA FIND TRUE LOVE.
462
00:20:35,483 --> 00:20:36,350
ACTUALLY,
I WANTED TO GET MARRIED
463
00:20:36,784 --> 00:20:38,519
SO I COULD TAKE OUT
A HUGE LIFE INSURANCE POLICY
464
00:20:38,519 --> 00:20:40,254
ON MY HUSBAND,
HAVE HIM KILLED,
465
00:20:40,254 --> 00:20:43,290
AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER
IN BARBADOS.
466
00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:50,231
I CAN'T BELIEVE EROTICA
GOT DIVORCED SO QUICKLY !
467
00:20:50,231 --> 00:20:52,399
I HOPE ME SLEEPING
WITH HER HUSBAND
468
00:20:52,399 --> 00:20:53,701
HAD NOTHING
TO DO WITH IT.
469
00:20:53,701 --> 00:20:55,002
YOU SLEPT WITH MR. "D" ?
470
00:20:55,002 --> 00:20:56,303
SHAME ON YOU !
471
00:20:56,303 --> 00:20:58,906
WELL, AT LEAST
SHE'S GETTING SOME GOOD USE
472
00:20:58,906 --> 00:21:00,641
OUT OF HER WEDDING DRESS !
473
00:21:00,641 --> 00:21:04,979
( bridal march playing )
474
00:21:08,015 --> 00:21:10,184
( whistling )
475
00:21:44,451 --> 00:21:47,054
♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪
476
00:21:48,789 --> 00:21:51,392
♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪♪
32791
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