All language subtitles for 07. The Bridesmaid

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:19,169 SO WHEN I'M NOT VOLUNTEERING AT THE CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL, 2 00:00:19,603 --> 00:00:20,904 I'M TRAVELING AROUND THE WORLD, 3 00:00:20,904 --> 00:00:23,073 CRUSADING FOR ANIMAL RIGHTS AND WORLD PEACE. 4 00:00:23,507 --> 00:00:26,543 ( Stripperella thinking ) HE'S SO PERFECT AND HANDSOME. 5 00:00:26,543 --> 00:00:28,712 DON'T SAY ANYTHING STUPID, DON'T SAY ANYTHING STUPID. 6 00:00:28,712 --> 00:00:30,447 I LIKE LETTUCE. 7 00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:34,351 LETTUCE IS... NICE. 8 00:00:34,351 --> 00:00:36,520 OH ! 9 00:00:38,255 --> 00:00:41,291 OOH, I'M SORRY, I'M JUST A LITTLE NERVOUS. 10 00:00:41,725 --> 00:00:43,894 I DON'T GET TO DATE MUCH, STRIPPER'S HOURS. 11 00:00:43,894 --> 00:00:46,497 IT'S GREAT YOU'RE SO HONEST ABOUT WHAT YOU DO. 12 00:00:46,497 --> 00:00:48,665 I'VE DATED GIRLS IN THE PAST WHO KEPT A LOT OF SECRETS. 13 00:00:48,665 --> 00:00:51,702 IT WAS ALMOST LIKE THEY WERE LIVING A DOUBLE LIFE. 14 00:00:51,702 --> 00:00:53,871 OH, REALLY ? 15 00:00:56,473 --> 00:00:57,774 THIS IS A ROBBERY ! 16 00:00:57,774 --> 00:01:00,377 YOU, GET ME ALL THE MONEY FROM THE REGISTER. 17 00:01:00,377 --> 00:01:02,980 AND YOU, GET ME THE CHICKEN CORDON BLEU 18 00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:05,582 AND THE CAESAR SALAD, NO CROUTONS. 19 00:01:05,582 --> 00:01:07,317 AND IF I COULD GET THE DRESSING ON THE SIDE, 20 00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:09,486 THAT WOULD BE GREAT. 21 00:01:10,354 --> 00:01:11,221 OH, NO ! 22 00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:12,956 THE RESTAURANT'S BEING ROBBED. 23 00:01:12,956 --> 00:01:15,559 EROTICA ? 24 00:01:15,559 --> 00:01:16,860 ( zipper zipping ) 25 00:01:16,860 --> 00:01:18,595 HOW WOULD YOU LIKE A SIDE OF ASS-KICKING 26 00:01:18,595 --> 00:01:20,330 TO GO WITH YOUR ROBBERY ? 27 00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:23,800 STRIPPERELLA ? OH, NO, IT'S A-- TAMPON ? 28 00:01:24,234 --> 00:01:25,536 A TAMPON... 29 00:01:25,536 --> 00:01:26,837 DAGGER ! 30 00:01:32,910 --> 00:01:34,211 OH, SHISH ! 31 00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:36,813 WHOA ! 32 00:01:40,717 --> 00:01:42,452 ( screaming ) IT BURNS ! 33 00:01:42,452 --> 00:01:43,754 MAKE IT STOP ! 34 00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:46,356 OKAY, HA ! 35 00:01:50,260 --> 00:01:51,995 THAT OUGHTA HOLD YOU 'TIL THE POLICE ARRIVE. 36 00:01:51,995 --> 00:01:54,598 NOW, I'VE GOT A DATE TO GET BACK TO. 37 00:01:54,598 --> 00:01:56,333 I MEAN, NO, I DON'T. 38 00:01:58,068 --> 00:01:59,369 ( zipper zipping again ) 39 00:02:04,575 --> 00:02:06,743 EROTICA, YOU MISSED IT, THE PLACE WAS ROBBED. 40 00:02:07,177 --> 00:02:09,780 STRIPPERELLA WAS HERE, WHERE DID YOU GO ? 41 00:02:09,780 --> 00:02:13,250 OH, UH, I HAD TO PUT MONEY IN THE METER. 42 00:02:13,250 --> 00:02:14,985 BUT WE VALET PARKED. 43 00:02:14,985 --> 00:02:17,154 OH, RIGHT, NOW, WHERE WERE WE ? 44 00:02:17,154 --> 00:02:20,190 I WAS SAYING HOW GREAT IT IS THAT YOU ARE ALWAYS SO HONEST. 45 00:02:20,624 --> 00:02:23,660 OH, YEAH, THAT'S ME, NO SECRETS HERE. 46 00:02:23,660 --> 00:02:25,395 HELP ! 47 00:02:25,829 --> 00:02:27,564 IT'S FIRE ! FIRE ! 48 00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:28,865 ( screaming ) 49 00:02:28,865 --> 00:02:31,902 I HAVE TO GO PUT MORE MONEY IN THE METER ! 50 00:02:51,855 --> 00:02:54,458 ♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪ 51 00:02:56,193 --> 00:02:58,795 ♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪ 52 00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:07,904 ( organ playing "Bridal March" ) 53 00:03:17,014 --> 00:03:18,315 ( people screaming ) 54 00:03:18,315 --> 00:03:20,484 HEY, YOU'RE NOT MY BRIDE ! 55 00:03:20,484 --> 00:03:22,653 THAT'S RIGHT ! I'M NEVER THE BRIDE ! 56 00:03:23,086 --> 00:03:26,556 I'M ALWAYS THE BRIDESMAID ! 57 00:03:26,556 --> 00:03:27,424 WHAT DO YOU WANT ? 58 00:03:27,858 --> 00:03:29,593 I WANNA GET MARRIED ! 59 00:03:29,593 --> 00:03:32,195 BUT IF I CAN'T, THEN, NO ONE WILL. 60 00:03:32,195 --> 00:03:35,232 YOU MAY NOW KISS THE BRIDESMAID ! 61 00:03:37,401 --> 00:03:40,437 AAAHHHHH... 62 00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:47,811 ( people screaming ) 63 00:03:50,414 --> 00:03:52,582 ( man ) AHOY, MATES ! 64 00:03:52,582 --> 00:03:56,486 FEAST YOUR GOOD EYE ON THE GLORIOUS TREASURE CHEST OF 65 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:58,655 GISELLE ! 66 00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:00,824 ( man whistling ) 67 00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:12,102 ( screaming ) 68 00:04:12,969 --> 00:04:13,837 ARRGHH ! 69 00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:19,476 OOHHHH ! 70 00:04:21,211 --> 00:04:22,512 ARRRH ! 71 00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:29,886 OH, I'M GLAD SHE DOESN'T DO 72 00:04:29,886 --> 00:04:32,923 HER CHAINSAW JUGGLING ROUTINE ANYMORE ! 73 00:04:32,923 --> 00:04:34,224 OH, PLEASE BE GAY, PLEASE BE GAY, 74 00:04:34,224 --> 00:04:35,959 PLEASE BE GAY, PLEASE BE GAY ! 75 00:04:36,393 --> 00:04:38,128 EROTICA ? 76 00:04:38,128 --> 00:04:39,863 JAMES ! 77 00:04:42,899 --> 00:04:45,068 WHAT A SURPRISE ! 78 00:04:47,237 --> 00:04:49,406 LEONARD, THIS IS THE GUY I'VE BEEN DATING. 79 00:04:49,406 --> 00:04:50,707 NICE TO MEET YOU. 80 00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:52,008 NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, 81 00:04:52,008 --> 00:04:54,611 I'M GONNA GO TAKE A COLD SHOWER. 82 00:04:55,479 --> 00:04:57,214 SO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ? 83 00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:58,515 I JUST FINISHED MY POETRY WORKSHOP, 84 00:04:58,515 --> 00:04:59,816 AND I HAVE A FEW MINUTES TO KILL 85 00:05:00,250 --> 00:05:01,118 BEFORE I GO TO THE HOMELESS SHELTER 86 00:05:01,118 --> 00:05:02,419 TO HAND OUT FOOD. 87 00:05:02,419 --> 00:05:04,154 SO, I THOUGHT I'D STOP BY AND SAY HI. 88 00:05:04,154 --> 00:05:06,323 MAYBE TONIGHT WE CAN GET TOGETHER AT MY PLACE 89 00:05:06,323 --> 00:05:07,624 AND WATCH SOME MOVIES. 90 00:05:07,624 --> 00:05:10,660 AS LONG AS IT'S A ROMANTIC COMEDY. 91 00:05:12,829 --> 00:05:14,131 ( buzzing ) 92 00:05:14,998 --> 00:05:16,299 OH, THAT MUST BE MY BELLY-- UH-- 93 00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:19,336 THAT'S MY PAGER... OH, I FORGOT, 94 00:05:19,336 --> 00:05:21,505 I'M SUPPOSED TO DROP OFF TOYS AT THE ORPHANAGE 95 00:05:21,505 --> 00:05:22,806 ON THE WAY TO THE HOMELESS SHELTER ! 96 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,107 I'D BETTER GO. 97 00:05:24,107 --> 00:05:26,276 I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT. 98 00:05:29,312 --> 00:05:30,614 WOW ! 99 00:05:30,614 --> 00:05:32,783 HE'S CUTER THAN A JUNE BUG IN A CACKLE BUSH ! 100 00:05:32,783 --> 00:05:34,518 HE'S SO ROMANTIC. 101 00:05:34,518 --> 00:05:36,253 I NEVER THOUGHT I'D MEET ANYONE LIKE HIM. 102 00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:38,422 I JUST WISH I DIDN'T HAVE TO LIE TO HIM ALL THE TIME. 103 00:05:38,422 --> 00:05:39,723 LIE TO HIM ABOUT WHAT ? 104 00:05:40,157 --> 00:05:44,928 OH, UH, I TOLD HIM THAT I USED TO BE A MAN. 105 00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:47,964 OH, YOU SHOULD TELL HIM THE TRUTH ! 106 00:05:47,964 --> 00:05:49,266 HE'LL STILL LIKE YOU, 107 00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:52,302 EVEN IF HE FINDS OUT YOU'VE NEVER BEEN A MAN ! 108 00:05:52,302 --> 00:05:54,037 OH, I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT. 109 00:05:54,037 --> 00:05:55,772 I REALLY THINK HE MIGHT BE THE ONE. 110 00:05:56,206 --> 00:05:57,507 I THINK I'LL STEAL HIM FROM YOU. 111 00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:58,809 HUH ? 112 00:05:58,809 --> 00:06:00,544 WHAT ? I'M A BITCH, REMEMBER ? 113 00:06:00,544 --> 00:06:02,279 OH, YEAH. RIGHT. 114 00:06:04,881 --> 00:06:07,050 ( door opening and closing ) 115 00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:11,388 CHIEF STROGANOFF, AGENT 69, REPORTING FOR DUTY. 116 00:06:11,822 --> 00:06:14,858 UH, CHIEF, WHAT ARE YOU DOING ? 117 00:06:14,858 --> 00:06:17,027 I'M JUST TAKING SOME SEXY BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHS 118 00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:19,629 TO SURPRISE THE WIFE WITH ON VALENTINE'S DAY. 119 00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:21,364 BUT VALENTINE'S DAY WAS TWO MONTHS AGO. 120 00:06:21,364 --> 00:06:25,268 RIGHT... THANK GOD I'M NOT MARRIED. 121 00:06:25,268 --> 00:06:26,570 I THINK WE'RE DONE FOR TODAY, LING. 122 00:06:27,003 --> 00:06:28,305 SEE YOU TOMORROW, SAME TIME. 123 00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:31,341 SO, WHAT'S GOING ON ? 124 00:06:31,341 --> 00:06:32,642 IT'S NOT WHAT'S GOING ON, 125 00:06:33,076 --> 00:06:34,377 IT'S WHAT'S NOT GOING ON THAT'S GOING ON. 126 00:06:34,377 --> 00:06:36,546 GROOMS ALL ACROSS THE CITY 127 00:06:36,546 --> 00:06:38,281 HAVE BEEN VANISHING ON THEIR WEDDING DAY. 128 00:06:38,281 --> 00:06:39,583 COLD FEET ? 129 00:06:39,583 --> 00:06:42,185 NO, BUT MY ASS IS FREEZING, DAMN METAL CHAIR. 130 00:06:42,185 --> 00:06:43,487 I MEAN, THE GROOMS. 131 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:45,655 MAYBE THEY JUST GOT PRE-WEDDING JITTERS. 132 00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:47,390 THESE MEN DIDN'T JUST DISAPPEAR. 133 00:06:47,390 --> 00:06:48,692 THEY WERE ABDUCTED 134 00:06:49,125 --> 00:06:51,294 BY SOMEONE CALLING HERSELF "THE BRIDESMAID". 135 00:06:51,728 --> 00:06:53,463 UGH ! THAT DRESS IS HIDEOUS ! 136 00:06:53,463 --> 00:06:55,198 YES. 137 00:06:55,198 --> 00:06:57,801 POLYESTER IS SO PASS￩. 138 00:06:57,801 --> 00:06:59,536 NOW, HERE, TAKE THESE WEDDING VIDEOS. 139 00:06:59,536 --> 00:07:01,271 THERE MIGHT BE SOME CLUES IN THERE 140 00:07:01,705 --> 00:07:03,006 TO HELP US FIGURE OUT WHERE "THE BRIDESMAID" 141 00:07:03,006 --> 00:07:04,741 IS GOING TO STRIKE NEXT. 142 00:07:07,110 --> 00:07:09,279 ( woman crying ) 143 00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:12,315 OH, MY BABY BOY IS GETTING MARRIED ! 144 00:07:12,749 --> 00:07:17,087 THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY ENTIRE LIFE ! 145 00:07:17,087 --> 00:07:19,256 ( crowd gasping ) 146 00:07:19,256 --> 00:07:22,292 TIME TO LIVE HAPPILY NEVERAFTER ! 147 00:07:22,726 --> 00:07:23,593 ( crowd screaming ) 148 00:07:23,593 --> 00:07:28,798 NOW, THIS IS THE SADDEST DAY OF MY ENTIRE LIFE ! 149 00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:33,136 ( clapping and cheering ) 150 00:07:36,606 --> 00:07:38,341 HUH ? 151 00:07:38,341 --> 00:07:40,944 TO HOLD, AND BLAH, BLAH-- OH, JUST KISS THE BRIDE ! 152 00:07:40,944 --> 00:07:43,546 ( grunting ) 153 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:52,656 ( rewinding ) 154 00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:57,427 THESE WEDDINGS ARE SO BEAUTIFUL ! 155 00:07:57,427 --> 00:07:58,295 WELL, EXCEPT FOR THE PART 156 00:07:58,295 --> 00:08:01,331 WHERE THE GROOMS ALL GET ABDUCTED. 157 00:08:01,331 --> 00:08:02,632 ( blowing nose ) 158 00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:10,440 WAIT A MINUTE, THE GROOMS' LAST NAMES. 159 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:13,476 BAKER, RICHARDS, IKINAWA, DEGBERT. 160 00:08:13,476 --> 00:08:15,211 B-R-I-D... 161 00:08:15,211 --> 00:08:16,946 ( gasping ) SHE'S SPELLING "BRIDESMAID" ! 162 00:08:16,946 --> 00:08:19,983 THAT MEANS HER NEXT VICTIM IS AN "E" ! 163 00:08:19,983 --> 00:08:22,585 WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENTS, HERE WE GO. 164 00:08:23,019 --> 00:08:23,887 NO... 165 00:08:23,887 --> 00:08:25,188 NO... 166 00:08:25,188 --> 00:08:26,056 "EMERSON". 167 00:08:26,489 --> 00:08:29,092 THE EMERSON WEDDING, TODAY, AT SIX ! 168 00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:32,128 OH, NO, I ONLY HAVE 15 MINUTES ! 169 00:08:32,562 --> 00:08:33,863 IT'S A GOOD THING YOU'RE HERE, OZZY. 170 00:08:34,297 --> 00:08:35,165 OTHERWISE, I WOULD HAVE NO REASON 171 00:08:35,165 --> 00:08:37,334 TO EXPLAIN EVERYTHING OUT LOUD. 172 00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:42,539 ONLY 10 MINUTES TO GO ! 173 00:08:47,744 --> 00:08:49,479 DARN ! 174 00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:59,022 DOUBLE DARN ! 175 00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:03,360 ( brakes squealing ) 176 00:09:09,866 --> 00:09:12,035 NOW, THIS IS JUST GETTING RIDICULOUS. 177 00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:18,108 ( man ) DO YOU PROMISE TO BE FAITHFUL TO YOUR WIFE, 178 00:09:18,108 --> 00:09:20,710 TO NEVER AGAIN KNOW ANOTHER WOMAN'S TOUCH ? 179 00:09:20,710 --> 00:09:24,180 TO NEVER AGAIN EXPERIENCE THE JOY OF SEXUAL INTIMACY 180 00:09:24,180 --> 00:09:28,084 WITH ANYONE NEW OR DIFFERENT OR MORE ADVENTUROUS, 181 00:09:28,084 --> 00:09:29,386 OR YOUNGER, 182 00:09:29,386 --> 00:09:32,422 UNTIL SWEET DEATH RELEASES YOU FROM THIS VOW ? 183 00:09:32,422 --> 00:09:33,289 UH... 184 00:09:33,723 --> 00:09:35,024 I-- I-- 185 00:09:35,458 --> 00:09:37,193 ( The Bridesmaid ) DON'T ! 186 00:09:37,627 --> 00:09:39,362 ( gasping ) 187 00:09:39,362 --> 00:09:42,832 WHY DON'T YOU SMELL MY LOVELY FLOWERS ? 188 00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:44,134 ( moaning ) 189 00:09:48,471 --> 00:09:50,640 DROP THAT GROOM, BRIDESMAID ! 190 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:51,941 I DON'T THINK SO ! 191 00:09:51,941 --> 00:09:53,676 I'VE GOT EXPLODING RICE, 192 00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:55,412 AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO THROW IT ! 193 00:09:55,412 --> 00:09:57,147 DON'T YOU KNOW NOT TO THROW RICE AT WEDDINGS ? 194 00:09:57,580 --> 00:09:59,315 BIRDS EAT IT AND THEY DIE ! 195 00:09:59,315 --> 00:10:01,050 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO USE BIRDSEED ! 196 00:10:01,050 --> 00:10:04,521 I'M SORRY, BUT THEY WERE ALL OUT OF EXPLODING BIRDSEED. 197 00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:05,822 HA ! 198 00:10:06,256 --> 00:10:08,425 ( people screaming ) 199 00:10:09,292 --> 00:10:11,461 I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU FOOT IN FACE ! 200 00:10:11,461 --> 00:10:13,630 YOU MAY KICK THE BRIDE ! 201 00:10:18,401 --> 00:10:20,570 DO YOU LIKE MY BOUQUET ? 202 00:10:21,004 --> 00:10:22,305 STRIPPERELLA, LOOK OUT ! 203 00:10:22,305 --> 00:10:24,040 THOSE FLOWERS ARE... 204 00:10:26,209 --> 00:10:27,944 NEVER MIND. 205 00:10:30,980 --> 00:10:32,282 ( laughing ) 206 00:10:35,752 --> 00:10:38,354 ( man on television ) And, so, Stripperella completely and utterly failed 207 00:10:38,354 --> 00:10:40,523 to stop the evil grooms-napper 208 00:10:40,523 --> 00:10:42,258 we've come to know as "The Bridesmaid". 209 00:10:42,692 --> 00:10:44,861 Due to Stripperella's humiliating ineptitude, 210 00:10:44,861 --> 00:10:47,897 couples everywhere are canceling their weddings in fear. 211 00:10:48,331 --> 00:10:50,066 NEXT UP, MY COLONOSCOPY VIDEO, 212 00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:52,669 AN INTRIGUING TRIP DEEP INSIDE MY ASS. 213 00:10:52,669 --> 00:10:55,271 HEY, I WANTED TO SEE THAT ! 214 00:10:55,271 --> 00:10:56,573 WHAT'S THE MATTER, LASSIE ? 215 00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:58,741 YOU LOOK SADDER THAN A PAIR OF OLD BAGPIPES. 216 00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:01,344 I JUST HATE COLONOSCOPY VIDEOS. 217 00:11:01,344 --> 00:11:02,645 ( buzzing ) 218 00:11:04,814 --> 00:11:06,549 PERSEPHONE, HOW COME I NEVER NOTICED 219 00:11:06,549 --> 00:11:08,718 YOU HAVE A SCOTTISH ACCENT BEFORE ? 220 00:11:08,718 --> 00:11:10,453 I DON'T. 221 00:11:13,490 --> 00:11:15,225 AGENT 69, HERE, WHAT'S UP ? 222 00:11:15,225 --> 00:11:17,393 We've figured out the identity of The Bridesmaid. 223 00:11:17,827 --> 00:11:19,562 Her name is Molly Lumpkin. 224 00:11:19,562 --> 00:11:22,165 She was a bridesmaid at over 35 weddings 225 00:11:22,165 --> 00:11:23,466 last year, alone. 226 00:11:23,466 --> 00:11:25,201 THAT POOR GIRL ! 227 00:11:25,201 --> 00:11:26,936 THAT'S ENOUGH TO MAKE ANYONE SNAP ! 228 00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:29,973 We need to find out where she's keeping those grooms. 229 00:11:29,973 --> 00:11:33,009 She may be planning on killing them... or worse. 230 00:11:33,009 --> 00:11:34,744 WHAT'S WORSE THAN KILLING THEM ? 231 00:11:34,744 --> 00:11:36,913 She may actually marry them. 232 00:11:36,913 --> 00:11:38,214 UH, CHIEF ? 233 00:11:38,214 --> 00:11:40,383 I DON'T THINK THAT'S WORSE THAN KILLING. 234 00:11:40,383 --> 00:11:42,118 Clearly, you've never been married. 235 00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:44,287 I THINK I KNOW HOW TO FIND HER. 236 00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:46,022 CHIEF, IT'S TIME FOR US TO HAVE A WEDDING. 237 00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:49,058 I'm sorry, Erotica, but you're not my type. 238 00:11:49,058 --> 00:11:50,793 NO, NO ! 239 00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:53,396 WE'LL STAGE A FAKE WEDDING TO LURE THE BRIDESMAID. 240 00:11:53,396 --> 00:11:54,697 Great idea. 241 00:11:54,697 --> 00:11:55,999 THEN IT'S OFFICIAL. 242 00:11:55,999 --> 00:12:00,435 THIS SUNDAY, I'M GETTING MARRIED ! 243 00:12:00,435 --> 00:12:03,472 OH GOD, YEAH... 244 00:12:03,472 --> 00:12:05,207 THE BRIDESMAID ONLY NEEDS ONE MORE LETTER 245 00:12:05,207 --> 00:12:07,376 AND HER COLLECTION OF GROOMS WILL BE COMPLETE ! 246 00:12:07,809 --> 00:12:09,978 THIS WEDDING IS OUR LAST CHANCE TO STOP HER ! 247 00:12:10,412 --> 00:12:12,147 WE'VE MADE SOME MODIFICATIONS TO YOUR WEDDING DRESS 248 00:12:12,147 --> 00:12:13,448 THAT SHOULD HELP YOU. 249 00:12:13,448 --> 00:12:15,183 WE'VE INSTALLED A PAIR OF HIGH-POWERED FLASHLIGHTS 250 00:12:15,617 --> 00:12:16,918 INSIDE YOUR BUSTIER. 251 00:12:17,352 --> 00:12:20,822 YOUR WEDDING VEIL IS ALSO A GAS MASK. 252 00:12:22,991 --> 00:12:24,726 AND WE'RE ABOUT TO GIVE YOU AN S.T.D. 253 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:26,028 A WHAT ? 254 00:12:26,028 --> 00:12:27,329 S.T.D. 255 00:12:27,329 --> 00:12:30,365 SECRET TRACKING DEVICE. 256 00:12:30,365 --> 00:12:31,666 AH... 257 00:12:31,666 --> 00:12:32,968 YES, WE CALL IT "THE CLAP". 258 00:12:32,968 --> 00:12:34,269 BECAUSE IN ORDER TO ACTIVATE IT, 259 00:12:34,269 --> 00:12:35,570 YOU HAVE TO CLAP. 260 00:12:36,004 --> 00:12:37,739 ( beeping ) 261 00:12:37,739 --> 00:12:39,041 I'VE DREAMT ABOUT GETTING MARRIED 262 00:12:39,041 --> 00:12:40,776 SINCE I WAS A LITTLE GIRL ! 263 00:12:41,209 --> 00:12:42,511 EXCEPT, IN MY DREAM, IT WASN'T FAKE 264 00:12:42,944 --> 00:12:44,679 AND I WASN'T MARRYING SPECIAL AGENT 14. 265 00:12:44,679 --> 00:12:49,017 DON'T WORRY, STRIPPERELLA, I WON'T LET YOU DOWN ! 266 00:12:49,017 --> 00:12:52,487 ESPECIALLY, ON OUR FAKE HONEYMOON. 267 00:12:52,487 --> 00:12:54,222 I DON'T SEE WHY HE GETS TO MARRY HER. 268 00:12:54,656 --> 00:12:55,957 I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE TO MARRY HER. 269 00:12:55,957 --> 00:12:56,825 WHAT ?! 270 00:12:56,825 --> 00:12:58,126 I TOTALLY SHOULD BE MARRYING HER. 271 00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:00,295 OH, LIKE SHE'D REALLY MARRY YOU, GEEK. 272 00:13:00,295 --> 00:13:01,596 SPAZ ! VIRGIN ! 273 00:13:01,596 --> 00:13:02,898 ( gasping ) 274 00:13:02,898 --> 00:13:05,934 I TOLD YOU THAT IN STRICT CONFIDENCE. 275 00:13:10,705 --> 00:13:12,007 ( James ) EROTICA ? 276 00:13:12,007 --> 00:13:13,308 WE NEED TO TALK. 277 00:13:13,308 --> 00:13:15,043 JAMES, WHAT'S WRONG ? 278 00:13:15,043 --> 00:13:16,778 I KNOW ABOUT MR. "D". 279 00:13:16,778 --> 00:13:18,947 I FOUND THIS WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENT IN THE PAPER. 280 00:13:18,947 --> 00:13:21,116 I KNOW THIS LOOKS BAD, BUT TRUST ME, 281 00:13:21,116 --> 00:13:23,285 I'M NOT REALLY GETTING MARRIED. 282 00:13:27,622 --> 00:13:29,357 HUH ? 283 00:13:29,791 --> 00:13:30,659 ( all ) SURPRISE ! 284 00:13:31,093 --> 00:13:32,394 WHAT IS GOING ON HERE ? 285 00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:34,563 WELL, I OVERHEARD YOU ON THE PHONE 286 00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:38,467 TALKING ABOUT YOUR WEDDING, SO I TOLD EVERYONE ! 287 00:13:38,467 --> 00:13:40,635 YOU DIDN'T THINK WE WERE GOING LET YOU GET MARRIED 288 00:13:40,635 --> 00:13:42,804 WITHOUT THROWING YOU A BACHELORETTE PARTY, 289 00:13:42,804 --> 00:13:44,106 DID YOU ? 290 00:13:44,106 --> 00:13:48,877 ( laughing ) YOU TWO ARE SUCH A PERFECT COUPLE. 291 00:13:48,877 --> 00:13:50,178 THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT, TOO. 292 00:13:50,178 --> 00:13:52,347 BUT THAT'S BEFORE I FOUND OUT THAT TOMORROW 293 00:13:52,347 --> 00:13:54,516 EROTICA'S MARRYING ANOTHER MAN ! 294 00:13:54,516 --> 00:13:55,817 JAMES, THERE'S A GOOD EXPLANATION 295 00:13:55,817 --> 00:13:57,119 FOR ALL OF THIS. 296 00:13:57,119 --> 00:13:58,854 I'M JUST NOT ALLOWED TO TELL YOU WHAT IT IS. 297 00:13:59,287 --> 00:14:00,155 GOODBYE, EROTICA. 298 00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:02,757 BUT, JAMES, WAIT ! 299 00:14:02,757 --> 00:14:07,963 ( chuckling ) HEY, THIS PARTY'S TURNING OUT BETTER THAN I THOUGHT ! 300 00:14:07,963 --> 00:14:09,264 I KNOW WHAT WILL CHEER YOU UP ! 301 00:14:09,264 --> 00:14:13,168 I MADE YOU A CAKE IN THE SHAPE OF ANTHONY HOPKINS' BUTT ! 302 00:14:13,168 --> 00:14:15,770 THE HAIR IS CHOCOLATE SPRINKLES. 303 00:14:21,409 --> 00:14:23,578 ( The Bridesmaid ) SO, THEN, I WAS THINKING, A SIMPLE SHEER SATIN GOWN 304 00:14:23,578 --> 00:14:26,181 WITH A DRAMATIC "V" DOWN THE BACK. 305 00:14:26,181 --> 00:14:27,482 ( giggling ) AND INSTEAD OF A VEIL, I-- 306 00:14:27,482 --> 00:14:31,386 LOOK, IF YOU'RE GONNA KILL US, PLEASE DO IT NOW ! 307 00:14:31,386 --> 00:14:32,687 THIS IS HELL ! 308 00:14:32,687 --> 00:14:33,989 WHAT DO YOU WANT ?! 309 00:14:33,989 --> 00:14:36,158 WHAT DO IWANT ?! 310 00:14:36,591 --> 00:14:40,495 I JUST WANNA GET MARRIED BEFORE I'M 40 ! 311 00:14:40,495 --> 00:14:41,796 IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK ?! 312 00:14:41,796 --> 00:14:47,869 I'VE BEEN IN 226 WEDDINGS AND NOT ONE OF THEM WAS MINE. 313 00:14:47,869 --> 00:14:49,604 BUT THAT'S ABOUT TO CHANGE. 314 00:14:49,604 --> 00:14:51,773 YOU'VE ALL SHOWN THAT YOU'RE NOT AFRAID OF COMMITMENT. 315 00:14:51,773 --> 00:14:56,978 YOU'RE ALL STILL SINGLE AND YOU ALL OWN TUXES ! 316 00:14:56,978 --> 00:14:58,280 MINE'S A RENTAL. 317 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:00,015 AND, ACTUALLY, I'M NOT SINGLE. 318 00:15:00,015 --> 00:15:01,750 YOU ABDUCTED ME FROM MY RECEPTION. 319 00:15:01,750 --> 00:15:02,617 SHUT UP ! 320 00:15:03,051 --> 00:15:04,352 NOW, ONE OF YOU IS GOING TO MARRY ME, 321 00:15:04,352 --> 00:15:06,955 AND THE REST OF YOU ARE GOING TO BE KILLED WITH THIS ! 322 00:15:07,389 --> 00:15:09,558 AN ENGAGEMENT RING/DEADLY LASER. 323 00:15:09,558 --> 00:15:11,726 ALLOW ME TO DEMONSTRATE. 324 00:15:14,329 --> 00:15:17,365 SOMETHING BORROWED, SOMETHING BLUE. 325 00:15:17,365 --> 00:15:20,402 I DON'T WANT TO MARRY YOU ! 326 00:15:20,402 --> 00:15:22,137 PREPARE TO DIE ! 327 00:15:22,137 --> 00:15:24,306 OH, RIGHT, KILL THE BLACK GUY FIRST. 328 00:15:24,306 --> 00:15:25,607 THAT'S ORIGINAL. 329 00:15:25,607 --> 00:15:28,210 NO, NO, REALLY, THAT'S NOT THE REASON. 330 00:15:28,210 --> 00:15:29,945 IT WAS PURE CHANCE. 331 00:15:29,945 --> 00:15:31,246 YEAH, WHATEVER. 332 00:15:31,246 --> 00:15:33,848 WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO AND GET YOURSELF A NICE WHITE HOOD 333 00:15:33,848 --> 00:15:35,584 TO GO WITH THAT WEDDING DRESS, RACIST ? 334 00:15:35,584 --> 00:15:37,319 NO, NO, I'M NOT A RACIST, OKAY ? 335 00:15:37,752 --> 00:15:39,487 HEY, GUESS WHAT ? I'LL PROVE IT. 336 00:15:39,487 --> 00:15:40,789 I'LL KILL SOMEONE ELSE ! 337 00:15:40,789 --> 00:15:42,524 YOU ! PREPARE TO DIE. 338 00:15:42,524 --> 00:15:45,126 YOU KNOW, I JUST REMEMBERED, I AM 1/4 AMERICAN INDIAN. 339 00:15:45,126 --> 00:15:48,163 DON'T YOU THINK WE HAVE SUFFERED ENOUGH AT YOUR HANDS, WHITEY ? 340 00:15:48,163 --> 00:15:49,464 JEWISH ! 341 00:15:49,464 --> 00:15:50,332 GAY. 342 00:15:50,332 --> 00:15:52,067 ESKIMO. 343 00:15:55,537 --> 00:15:59,441 COME ON, BRIDESMAID, SHOW YOUR FACE. 344 00:15:59,441 --> 00:16:02,911 I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU MAN AND WIFE. 345 00:16:02,911 --> 00:16:04,212 YOU MAY KISS THE BRIDE. 346 00:16:04,646 --> 00:16:05,513 ( spraying ) 347 00:16:05,947 --> 00:16:07,682 COME ON, EROTICA. 348 00:16:07,682 --> 00:16:10,719 THE PEOPLE ARE EXPECTING A SHOW ! 349 00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:15,056 LET'S MAKE IT LOOK GOOD, HUH ? 350 00:16:15,924 --> 00:16:17,225 ( people gasping ) 351 00:16:17,225 --> 00:16:18,093 ( banging on glass ) 352 00:16:18,526 --> 00:16:22,864 EROTICA, EROTICA ! 353 00:16:22,864 --> 00:16:24,599 ( grunting ) 354 00:16:28,069 --> 00:16:29,371 OH, RIGHT, THANKS. 355 00:16:29,371 --> 00:16:31,539 JAMES ! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ?! 356 00:16:31,539 --> 00:16:34,142 I REALIZED I DIDN'T WANT TO LOSE YOU ! 357 00:16:34,142 --> 00:16:36,311 I CAN'T LET YOU MARRY THAT MAN ! 358 00:16:36,311 --> 00:16:39,347 OH, JAMES ! THAT'S SO ROMANTIC ! 359 00:16:39,347 --> 00:16:41,082 THIS IS LIKE A FAIRYTALE ! 360 00:16:41,516 --> 00:16:44,119 WITH A HAPPY ENDING FORME! 361 00:16:46,288 --> 00:16:50,191 CAN'T BREATHE... LOSING CONSCIOUSNESS. 362 00:16:50,191 --> 00:16:53,228 TALKING TO... MYSELF. 363 00:16:55,397 --> 00:16:56,264 SHE'S GETTING AWAY ! 364 00:16:56,264 --> 00:16:57,565 I STILL HAVE "THE CLAP" ! 365 00:16:57,565 --> 00:16:58,433 YOU HAVE THE CLAP ? 366 00:16:58,867 --> 00:17:00,168 NO ! IT'S AN S.T.D. ! 367 00:17:00,168 --> 00:17:01,903 I HAVE THE CLAP, TOO ! 368 00:17:02,337 --> 00:17:04,506 I'VE BEEN TOO AFRAID TO ADMIT IT BEFORE NOW, 369 00:17:04,506 --> 00:17:06,241 BUT THANKS TO EROTICA'S COURAGE, 370 00:17:06,241 --> 00:17:07,542 I CAN ! 371 00:17:07,542 --> 00:17:09,711 BY THE WAY, HONEY, YOU PROBABLY HAVE IT, TOO ! 372 00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:14,049 ( car horn playing bridal march ) 373 00:17:15,350 --> 00:17:17,952 COME ON, S.T.D. ! DO YOUR THING ! 374 00:17:17,952 --> 00:17:19,688 ( grunting ) 375 00:17:20,989 --> 00:17:23,158 ( beeping ) 376 00:17:27,495 --> 00:17:30,965 GET READY, BRIDESMAID, 'CAUSE HERE COMES THE BRIDE ! 377 00:17:35,036 --> 00:17:36,771 I'VE GOT THE PRIEST, I'VE GOT THE GROOMS. 378 00:17:36,771 --> 00:17:38,506 WHO'S READY TO GET MARRIED ? 379 00:17:38,939 --> 00:17:40,241 ME ! ME ! ME ! 380 00:17:40,241 --> 00:17:41,108 I DON'T WANNA DIE, ME ! 381 00:17:41,542 --> 00:17:42,843 OKAY, GROOM NUMBER ONE, 382 00:17:42,843 --> 00:17:45,446 WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IS MY BEST QUALITY ? 383 00:17:45,446 --> 00:17:46,747 UH, YOUR EYES ? 384 00:17:46,747 --> 00:17:48,482 EYES ? MY EYES ?! 385 00:17:48,482 --> 00:17:51,519 NO, IT'S MY FRIGGIN' BIG HEART, YOU JACKASS ! 386 00:17:51,519 --> 00:17:54,121 I'M A VERY SWEET PERSON, EVERYBODY SAYS SO ! 387 00:17:54,121 --> 00:17:56,290 ( zapping ) 388 00:17:56,290 --> 00:17:58,025 GROOM NUMBER TWO... 389 00:18:00,628 --> 00:18:01,495 ( beeping ) 390 00:18:04,532 --> 00:18:05,833 GOTCHA ! 391 00:18:05,833 --> 00:18:07,134 ALL RIGHT, BRIDESMAID, 392 00:18:07,568 --> 00:18:09,737 WHERE ARE THE REST OF THE GROOMS ? 393 00:18:11,472 --> 00:18:13,207 I AM NOT THE BRIDESMAID ! 394 00:18:13,207 --> 00:18:14,508 I AM THE EVIL FRENCH MAID ! 395 00:18:14,942 --> 00:18:17,111 THE BRIDESMAID IS ONE ROOM OVER. 396 00:18:17,111 --> 00:18:19,280 WE SPLIT THE RENT, IT KEEPS THINGS AFFORDABLE. 397 00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:21,015 OH, SORRY. 398 00:18:21,015 --> 00:18:23,617 NOW, TIME FOR THE MOP ! 399 00:18:24,051 --> 00:18:24,919 WHERE AM I ? 400 00:18:24,919 --> 00:18:26,220 I'M ASKING THE QUESTION,S HERE ! 401 00:18:26,220 --> 00:18:27,521 AND YOU'D BETTER THINK CAREFULLY 402 00:18:27,955 --> 00:18:29,690 BECAUSE YOUR LIFE MAY DEPEND ON YOUR ANSWER ! 403 00:18:29,690 --> 00:18:31,425 IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT ME, 404 00:18:31,425 --> 00:18:32,727 WHAT WOULD IT BE AND WHY ? 405 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:35,329 HI-YA ! 406 00:18:35,763 --> 00:18:37,498 HOW INCREDIBLY CONVENIENT ! WE'RE FREE ! 407 00:18:37,498 --> 00:18:38,799 ( grunting ) 408 00:18:38,799 --> 00:18:40,534 SORRY, STRIPPERELLA, BUT I'M GETTING MARRIED ! 409 00:18:40,534 --> 00:18:42,269 AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME ! 410 00:18:42,703 --> 00:18:44,004 ( men screaming ) 411 00:18:51,379 --> 00:18:54,415 ALL RIGHT, PREACHER, START MARRYING ! 412 00:18:54,415 --> 00:18:56,150 ( muffled speaking ) 413 00:18:56,150 --> 00:18:57,017 SAY "I DO" ! BUT-- 414 00:18:57,017 --> 00:18:58,319 DO YOU WANNA LIVE ?! 415 00:18:58,319 --> 00:19:00,054 I DO ! 416 00:19:00,054 --> 00:19:01,789 ( muffled speaking ) 417 00:19:01,789 --> 00:19:03,524 THIS IS IT, FINALLY ! 418 00:19:03,524 --> 00:19:04,825 I OBJECT ! 419 00:19:04,825 --> 00:19:07,428 ( grunting and screaming ) 420 00:19:15,669 --> 00:19:17,838 GOODBYE, STRIPPERELLA ! 421 00:19:23,911 --> 00:19:24,779 ( car horn playing bridal march ) 422 00:19:24,779 --> 00:19:26,514 ( dying out ) 423 00:19:26,514 --> 00:19:28,249 SHE'S ALL YOURS, BOYS. 424 00:19:28,249 --> 00:19:29,984 UH, STRIPPERELLA ? 425 00:19:29,984 --> 00:19:31,285 YOUR HEADLIGHTS ARE ON. 426 00:19:31,285 --> 00:19:32,586 THANKS. 427 00:19:32,586 --> 00:19:34,321 STRIPPERELLA, YOU SAVED ME ! 428 00:19:34,321 --> 00:19:35,623 IT WAS NOTHING, JAMES-- 429 00:19:35,623 --> 00:19:38,225 UH, IF THAT'S YOUR NAME BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW IF IT IS. 430 00:19:38,659 --> 00:19:39,527 IT IS. 431 00:19:39,527 --> 00:19:40,828 YOU WERE AMAZING ! 432 00:19:40,828 --> 00:19:41,695 WELL, THANKS. 433 00:19:42,129 --> 00:19:43,431 YOU KNOW WHAT ? I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 434 00:19:43,431 --> 00:19:44,732 ( unzipping ) 435 00:19:44,732 --> 00:19:45,599 JAMES, ARE YOU OKAY ? 436 00:19:46,033 --> 00:19:46,901 I'M FINE, EROTICA. 437 00:19:47,334 --> 00:19:48,636 LOOK, I'M SORRY ABOUT EVERYTHING. 438 00:19:48,636 --> 00:19:50,805 I PROMISE, NO MORE SECRET WEDDINGS. 439 00:19:50,805 --> 00:19:53,407 I'M SORRY, EROTICA, BUT I MET SOMEONE ELSE. 440 00:19:53,407 --> 00:19:54,275 WHAT ?! 441 00:19:54,708 --> 00:19:55,576 I DON'T MEAN TO HURT YOU. 442 00:19:55,576 --> 00:19:57,311 SHE JUST SORT OF CAME CRASHING INTO MY LIFE. 443 00:19:57,745 --> 00:19:59,046 I DIDN'T PLAN IT, 444 00:19:59,046 --> 00:20:00,781 BUT I WOULDN'T BE HONEST WITH MYSELF OR YOU, 445 00:20:00,781 --> 00:20:02,950 IF I DIDN'T TELL YOU THAT I'LL NEVER LOVE ANOTHER WOMAN 446 00:20:02,950 --> 00:20:04,685 AS MUCH AS I LOVE... 447 00:20:04,685 --> 00:20:05,986 STRIPPERELLA. 448 00:20:05,986 --> 00:20:09,890 BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, SEE, STRIPPERELLA IS-- 449 00:20:09,890 --> 00:20:11,192 IS WHAT ? 450 00:20:11,192 --> 00:20:13,794 IS... IS GREAT, I UNDERSTAND. 451 00:20:13,794 --> 00:20:15,963 I GUESS I CAN NEVER BE THE WOMAN SHE IS. 452 00:20:15,963 --> 00:20:17,264 IF IT MEANS ANYTHING, 453 00:20:17,698 --> 00:20:19,867 IF SOMETHING WERE TO EVER HAPPEN TO STRIPPERELLA, 454 00:20:19,867 --> 00:20:21,602 IF SHE WERE KILLED OR HORRIBLY DISFIGURED 455 00:20:22,036 --> 00:20:23,771 OR DIDN'T AGE WELL, 456 00:20:24,205 --> 00:20:25,506 YOU'LL ALWAYS BE MY SECOND CHOICE. 457 00:20:25,506 --> 00:20:27,241 THANKS ? 458 00:20:27,241 --> 00:20:30,277 DO YOU UNDERSTAND THESE RIGHTS THAT WE HAVE READ TO YOU ? 459 00:20:30,277 --> 00:20:31,579 I DO. 460 00:20:31,579 --> 00:20:33,747 YOU KNOW, I UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DID WHAT YOU DID. 461 00:20:33,747 --> 00:20:35,049 WE ALL WANNA FIND TRUE LOVE. 462 00:20:35,483 --> 00:20:36,350 ACTUALLY, I WANTED TO GET MARRIED 463 00:20:36,784 --> 00:20:38,519 SO I COULD TAKE OUT A HUGE LIFE INSURANCE POLICY 464 00:20:38,519 --> 00:20:40,254 ON MY HUSBAND, HAVE HIM KILLED, 465 00:20:40,254 --> 00:20:43,290 AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER IN BARBADOS. 466 00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:50,231 I CAN'T BELIEVE EROTICA GOT DIVORCED SO QUICKLY ! 467 00:20:50,231 --> 00:20:52,399 I HOPE ME SLEEPING WITH HER HUSBAND 468 00:20:52,399 --> 00:20:53,701 HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. 469 00:20:53,701 --> 00:20:55,002 YOU SLEPT WITH MR. "D" ? 470 00:20:55,002 --> 00:20:56,303 SHAME ON YOU ! 471 00:20:56,303 --> 00:20:58,906 WELL, AT LEAST SHE'S GETTING SOME GOOD USE 472 00:20:58,906 --> 00:21:00,641 OUT OF HER WEDDING DRESS ! 473 00:21:00,641 --> 00:21:04,979 ( bridal march playing ) 474 00:21:08,015 --> 00:21:10,184 ( whistling ) 475 00:21:44,451 --> 00:21:47,054 ♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪ 476 00:21:48,789 --> 00:21:51,392 ♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪♪ 32791

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