Original subtitles

PREVIOUSLY, ONSTRIPPERELLA...

EVIL DOERS,

PREPARE TO BECOME EVIL DON'TERS.

SOMEONE'S MALICIOUSLY FATTENING THESE SUPERMODELS.

AAH ! AAH ! AAH !

ALL WE KNOW IS THAT ALL EIGHT MODELS

WERE REPRESENTED BY THE SAME AGENCY.

THE "PRETTY GIRL MODELING AGENCY".

IT'S RUN BY A MAN NAMED NAIRASEC ROTCOD.

PRETTY CRAZY ABOUT THOSE MODELS

SUDDENLY BECOMING ENORMOUS, HUH ?

I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ANY MODELS BECOMING ENORMOUS.

WHY ASK ME ?!

PERSEPHONE, WHAT DO YOU KEEP LOOKING AROUND FOR ?

MY NEW BOYFRIEND, DAVE IS COMING IN.

WE'VE BEEN DATING A WHOLE MONTH

AND I'M FINALLY GONNA MEET HIS BROTHER TONIGHT.

THAT'S HIM ? I MEAN, THEM ?

HUH ?

CHECK OUT MY NEW BREASTS, I JUST GOT THEM DONE.

SINCE I SAW YOU YESTERDAY ?

THE PLASTIC SURGEON IS THE GREATEST.

HIS NAME IS DR. CESARIAN.

THANKS FOR THE BOOB JOB, DR. CESARIAN.

THEY LOOK AND FEEL SO NATURAL !

ANYTIME, ENORMA.

I'LL BE SEEING YOU...

IN THE OBITUARY COLUMN !

( evil laughter )

THAT ISIT!

ALL THESE GIRLS HAD BOOB JOBS !

"DR. CESARIAN" !

( evil laughter )

( laughter continues )

♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪

♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪

♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪

♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪

( man ) THERE SHE IS !

DAMN !

BETTER WATCH OUT !

♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪

♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪♪

HI, MY NAME IS SISTER MARY...

HADALAMB.

I'D LIKE TO SPEAK WITH DR. CESARIAN, IF I MAY.

SISTER HADALAMB'S HERE TO SEE YOU.

AH, YES, HOW CAN I HELP YOU, SISTER ?

ARE YOU CONSIDERING LIPOSUCTION ?

ASS REDUCTION ?

EAR SCULPTING ?

OH, NO.

ACTUALLY, I'M COLLECTING DONATIONS

FOR THOSE POOR, MORBIDLY-OBSESE SUPERMODELS.

I THOUGHT CERTAINLY YOU'D WANNA DONATE.

WHY WOULD I WANT TO DONATE ?

JUST BECAUSE I PERFORMED SURGERY ON ALL OF THEM

RIGHT BEFORE THEY EXPANDED ?

( sneezing )

GOD BLESS YOU.

EXCUSE ME, DOCTOR,

WHERE DO WE KEEP THE MONOSODIUM GLUTAMATE ?

WELL, THERE SHOULD BE SOME

IN EITHER ROOM ONE, TWO OR FOUR.

NOT ROOM THREE !

WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT GO IN ROOM THREE.

ROOM THREE IS OFF-LIMITS-- PRIVATE !

I KNOW, STAY OUT OF ROOM THREE.

OBVIOUSLY, THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON IN ROOM THREE

THAT YOU DON'T WANT ANYONE TO SEE OR KNOW ABOUT.

EXACTLY.

I'D BETTER BE GETTING BACK TO--

YOU KNOW, WHEREVER THE-- NUNS GO.

CHURCH ?

YES !

THAT PLACE.

( rock music playing )

GOOD AFTERNOON, FELLAS, WELCOMETO THE TENDER LOINS.

WHOA, YOU'RE TWICE !

( flapping lips ) NOW, YOU'RE ALL BLURRY.

THAT'S BECAUSE YOU JUST RUBBED YOUR EYES,

YOU BIG-HEADED TWIT !

WE'RE JUST HERE TO SEE PERSEPHONE.

CAN WE GO IN ?

SURE, I JUST NEED TO SEE SOME I.D.s...

YOU CAN GO IN, WHERE'S YOUR I.D. ?

I SEEM TO HAVE MISPLACED IT.

YOU DON'T REALLY NEED TO SEE IT, DO YOU ?

I'M CLEARLY OVER 21, UNLIKE YOUR I.Q.

DAVE, YOU MADE IT !

OH, CLIFF.

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE COMINGTOO.

I RETURN TO LONDON IN THE MORNING,

AND MY BROTHER INSISTED WE SPEND MY LAST NIGHT

IN A VULGAR SLEAZE EMPORIUM.

( sighing ) CLIFF, PLEASE.

LOOK AT THE HAPPY COUPLE.

IT SEEMS LIKE PERSEPHONE ALWAYS HAS A BOYFRIEND.

SHE'S SO-- EASY ?

NO, LUCKY.

I WISH I COULD MEET A NICE, NORMAL GUY LIKE THAT,

FALL IN LOVE.

SOMETIMES, I JUST GET SO LONELY.

BETWEEN DANCING AND FIGHTING CRIME,

I JUST DON'T HAVE TIME FOR A SOCIAL LIFE.

DID YOU JUST SAY "FIGHTING CRIME" ?

WHAT ?!

NO, NO, I SAID, "FIGHTING GRIME".

I SPEND A LOT OF TIME CLEANING AROUND THE HOUSE AND STUFF,

AND IT'S GRIME, NOT CRIME.

IN FACT, I SHOULD BE FIGHTING GRIME, RIGHT NOW.

BYE, BOSS !

EROTICA, WHERE ARE YOU GOING ?

IT'S ONLY SEVEN O'CLOCK, YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE AND--

I'M TALKING TO NO ONE.

OH, I FORGOT, I CAN CUT GLASS WITH MY NIPPLES.

I COULD'VE BROKE A NAIL, LIKE THIS.

UGH !

HMMP !

OOPS, WRONG FINGER, MAYBE, THIS ONE.

( gasping )

"BREAST IMPLANTS THAT TURN WOMEN FAT" ?

THAT'S HOW HE'S DOING IT !

THAT'S RIGHT.

I'VE BEEN ENLARGING MODELS

WITH MY EVIL BLUBBER-RELEASING IMPLANTS !

NAIRASEC ROTCOD ? YOU'RE DOING THIS ?

WHAT ABOUT DR. CESARIAN ?

HANG ON, I WANNA SHOW YOU SOMETHING REALLY COOL.

( humming )

LOOK AT THIS.

"NAIRASEC ROTCOD" IS "DOCTOR CESARIAN" BACKWARDS !

WE'RE THE SAME PERSON !

ISN'T THAT CLEVER ?

WELL, YES, THAT'S KINDA NEAT.

I MEAN, IT'S NOT REALLYTHATCLEVER.

OH, YEAH ? WELL, WATCH THIS !

SEE, NOW,THAT'SIMPRESSIVE.

BEING A PLASTIC SURGEON HAS ITS BENEFITS.

YOU REALIZE THAT I'M GONNA HAVE TO

BEAT YOU INTO SUBMISSION

AND DELIVER YOU TO THE AUTHORITIES,

DON'T YOU ?

ACTUALLY, NOW, YOU'RE GOING TO BE TAKING A LITTLE NAP.

( evil laughter )

( coughing )

WELL, I CHECKED THE MANUAL

ABOUT OUR TWO-DRINK MINIMUM POLICY.

IT DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT CONJOINED TWINS.

DO WE CHARGE THEM FOR TWO DRINKS OR FOUR ?

UM, I DON'T THINK YOU HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT.

THE BRITISH HALF HAS HAD WAY MORE THAN FOUR.

HA-WHOAAA !

HEY, LET'S GO LOOK

AT YOUR NAKED TART OF A GIRLFRIEND.

HEY, CLIFF, LET'S SIT DOWN, YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME.

PEOPLE ARE LOOKING AT US FUNNY.

HEY, PER-STUPID-E !

( giggling ) MIND IF I CUT IN ?

( drunkly chuckling )

CLIFF, I MEAN IT, LET'S GO, NOW !

WHO'S GONNA MAKE ME ?

( grunting )

LET'S GO, YOU'RE OUTTA HERE !

WHAT ABOUT HIM ?

HE'S NOT THE PROBLEM.

YOU STARTED IT, HE CAN STAY !

IT'S OKAY, I'M LEAVING, ANYWAY.

CLIFF, CAN I TALK TO YOU ?

ALONE ?

I'LL GIVE YOU TWO SOME PRIVACY.

CLIFF, I'M NOT TRYING TO GET IN BETWEEN YOU AND DAVE.

BUT WHAT IS IT ABOUT ME YOU DON'T LIKE ?

IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S DAVE.

MY ENTIRE LIFE, I'VE LIVED IN HIS SHADOW.

I ALWAYS FELT LIKE MY PARENTS LIKED HIM MORE THAN ME

'CAUSE HE WAS BORN, FIRST.

HE'S A WEEK OLDER THAN ME, YOU KNOW ?

OH, FOR SOME REASON,

I ALWAYS ASSUMED YOU WERE THE SAME AGE.

WHILE I WAS STUDYING ATOXFORD,

DAVE WAS OUT PARTYING WITH ALL HIS WOMEN !

WOMEN LOVE DAVE.

I GUESS I'M JEALOUS.

THE TRUTH IS...

I'M MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU !

I HAVE BEEN SINCE THE MOMENT I LAID EYES ON YOU.

BUT I KNOW A GIRL LIKE YOU

WOULDN'T GIVE ME THE TIME OF DAY.

THAT'S WHY I SAY MEAN THINGS TO YOU.

IT'S A DEFENSE MECHANISM.

( Persephone ) AW !

SLEEP WELL, STRIPPERELLA ?

NO, OF COURSE, NOT.

( laughing )

WHY DO YOU HATE MODELS SO MUCH ?

WHY ?

BECAUSE MY WHOLE LIFE,

BEAUTIFUL GIRLS HAVE SPURNED MY ADVANCES.

I VOWED THAT ONE DAY, I WOULD MAKE THEM ALL PAY.

SO, JUST BECAUSE--

ALSO, MY MOTHER WAS A MODEL, SHE RAN OFF WHEN I WAS FIVE.

I DECLARED THEN AND THERE

THAT I WOULD MAKE ALL MODELS PAY.

WELL, BUT EVEN IF YOU COULD--

ALSO, I ONCE HAD A PROMISING CAREER

AS A MODEL.

I HAD A SCHOLARSHIP TO GO TO MODELING COLLEGE

AND EVERYTHING.

BUT, THEN, I BECAME HORRIBLY DISFIGURED

IN A MODELING ACCIDENT !

THEY SAID I WOULD NEVER MODEL, AGAIN,

AND I VOWED TO MAKE THEM ALL PAY !

OH, YEAH, ALSO,

MY GRANDPARENTS WERE KILLED BY MODELS.

I'LL ADMIT, YOU DEFINITELY HAVE SOME VALID REASONS

FOR NOT LIKING MODELS.

OH, I HATE MODELS !

AND HEIGHTS.

BUT THAT'S NEITHER HERE NOR THERE.

YOU CAN'T REALLY HARM HEIGHTS.

SO YOUR PLAN IS TO TURN EVERY MODEL IN THE WORLD FAT ?

NO, IN FACT, MY NEW PLAN IS TO MAKE THEM ALL...

DEAD.

( gasping )

EXPLODING IMPLANTS !

THAT'S RIGHT.

I'M GOING TO TURN MODELS INTO LITERAL BOMBSHELLS.

IN APPROXIMATELY, FIVE MINUTES AND 10 SECONDS,

ENORMA RAE WILL TAKE THE STAGE AT THEVH-1 FASHION AWARDS.

I GAVE HER AN EXPLODING BREAST IMPLANT.

HER LEFT BREAST !

SHE'S GONNA EXPLODE ON LIVE TELEVISION,

AND TAKE ALL OF THOSE VAPID, DREADFUL MODELS WITH HER.

LET'S WATCH, SHALL WE ?

( male announcer ) Welcome to the VH-1 Fashion Awards.

SCHEDULED TO APPEAR, TONY DANZA...

HOW MUCH TIME BEFORE I GO ON STAGE ?

EXACTLY THREE MINUTES AND 27 SECONDS.

THANKS.

THREE MINUTES AND 26 SECONDS.

THREE MINUTES AND 25 SECONDS.

THREE MINUTES AND 24 SECONDS.

THREE MINUTES AND 23 SECONDS.

THREE MINUTES AND 22 SECONDS.

THREE MINUTES AND...

( annoouncer ) ... that guy from that soap opera,

what's-her-face from that show with the talking fruit,

Vern fromTrading Spaces.

the corpse of Sonny Bono.

and, now, here's your host, Tom Green !

( Tom Green ) Welcome to the show !

I'm a host ! I'm a host !

Look at me hosting the show !

HE'S KIND OF ANNOYING,

BUT IN A WAY, THAT'S WHAT'S FUNNY ABOUT HIM.

WHAT THE-- !

AND THE AWARD FOR BEST-DRESSED KICK GOES TO...

ME !

( grunting )

WHOA !

BEST DRESSED KICK ?

WELL, I WANTED TO SAY SOMETHING REALLY CLEVER AND RELEVANT

TO THE WHOLE FASHION AWARDS THING,

AND THAT'S ALL I COULD THINK OF IN SUCH SHORT NOTICE.

UNDERSTANDABLE, NOW, HOLD IT RIGHT THERE,

OR I'LL BE FORCED TO INJECT YOU WITH CELLULITE.

OH, NO ! NOT CELLULITE !

NOW, HOLD IT RIGHT THERE,

OR I'LL BE FORCED TO INJECT YOU WITH CELLULITE.

OH, NO, NOT CELLULITE !

( laughing ) YES !

( grunting )

( Nairasec ) THERE'S NO ESCAPE !

( grunting )

♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪

( grunting )

WELCOME TO FATSVILLE, POPULATION, YOU.

OH, FAT !

NOT FUNNY !

Coming up in exactly two minutes and 47 seconds,

Enorma Rae !

I'D LIKE TO THANK

ALL THE LITTLE HISPANIC BOYS AND GIRLS

WHO WORKED AROUND THE CLOCK,

SOMETIMES FOR MERE PENNIES A DAY

TO MAKE THIS DREAM COME TRUE FOR ME.

TWO MINUTES AND 18 SECONDS !

TWO MINUTES AND 17 SECONDS !

TWO MINUTES AND 16 SECONDS !

( tires screeching )

( man ) WOODY ALLEN AND HUGE-BREASTED SUPERMODEL, ENORMA RAE !

NORMALLY, I'M THE BIGGEST BOOB ON STAGE !

( laughter )

( track alarm and train whistle blowing )

RAMPS PLUS ?

RAMPS DELIVERY SERVICE ?

HOW CONVENIENT !

( grunting )

HUH ? HUH ?

( both gasping )

THE PARKING LOT'S OVER THERE !

WHOA !

AND THE AWARD FOR THE MOST CREATIVE ZIPPER GOES TO...

( gasping )

WAIT !

ENORMA, YOU'VE BEEN BOOBY-TRAPPED !

YOU'RE SET TO EXPLODE IN TWO MINUTES !

I HAVE TO DIFFUSE YOUR CHEST !

( screaming )

( crowd gasping and Enorma Rae shrieking )

THIS IS GOLD, PEOPLE ! STAY ON HER, STAY ON HER !

DIFFUSING A BOOB ON LIVE T.V. I'M GONNA WIN ANEMMY !

OH, OH, OH, OH !

( audience gasping )

( bomb ticking )

EVERYBODY, STAND BACK !

( audience cheering )

♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪

I HAVEN'T SEEN A BOMB THAT BIG SINCE MY LAST 10 FILMS !

BSSHHHH !

♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪

♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪

STRIPPERELLA, I CAME TO ARREST DR. CESARIAN,

BUT I THINK YOU GAVE ME THE WRONG ADDRESS.

THIS SHOULD BE 935 ELM STREET,

BUT ALL I SEE HERE IS A PILE OF SMOLDERING RUBBLE.

WELL, THAT WAS HIS OFFICE.

THE EXPLODING BREAST IMPLANTS MUST HAVE GONE OFF.

THEN, WHAT HAPPENED TO THE DOCTOR ?

HE'S DEAD, KABOOM ! GONE !

SEE YOU LATER !

I'VE RULED THE CAUSE OF DEATH TO BE SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION.

THAT'S ALL THAT'S LEFT OF HIM !

DAVE DUMPED ME.

I SLEPT WITH HIS BROTHER, AND, SOMEHOW, HE FOUND OUT.

BOY, THAT COULD REALLY TEAR TWO BROTHERS APART.

YEAH, THEY WERE NEVER REALLY THAT CLOSE.

DID YOU GUYS SEE WHAT HAPPENED

AT THE FASHION AWARDS LAST NIGHT ?

YEAH, THAT WAS AWESOME !

THE RATINGS WERE THROUGH THE ROOF.

VH1ALREADY ANNOUNCED THAT THEY'RE GONNA BE

PLACING LIVE BOMBS ON THE SETS OF ALL THEIR SHOWS !

I WAS TALKING ABOUT BRAD PITT

WEARING THOSE TIGHT, LITTLE MINI SHORTS, OH, OH, OH !

THAT STRIPPERELLA SURE IS GREAT.

I WISH I WAS HER.

WHAT ABOUT YOU, EROTICA ?

DO YOU WISH YOU WERE HER ?

OH, YEAH, I WISH I WAS HER, TOO.

I HAVE A FEELING WE HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF STRIPPERELLA.

I HAVE A FEELING WE HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF YOU,

DR. CESARIAN.

( man on p.a. ) Train number three, nonstop, Los Angeles

to Milan, Italy, now boarding.

( bubbling )

( sneezing )

♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪

♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪♪