All language subtitles for Poker Face S01E06 Exit Stage Death

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:01,936 --> 00:01:04,147 Jesus, Michael. 2 00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:07,233 You want to 'Gram with the shrine? 3 00:01:07,275 --> 00:01:09,652 No, I'm good. 4 00:01:14,949 --> 00:01:18,078 Well, Kathleen. 5 00:01:18,119 --> 00:01:20,246 Welcome to the life. 6 00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:22,624 Hey, sweetheart. 7 00:01:22,665 --> 00:01:25,627 Kathleen, I'd love for you to meet my wife, Ava. 8 00:01:25,669 --> 00:01:28,088 Ava, I'd like for you to meet my mortal enemy, 9 00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:29,172 Kathleen Townsend. 10 00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:30,256 Kathleen. 11 00:01:30,298 --> 00:01:32,801 It is a pleasure to finally meet you. 12 00:01:32,842 --> 00:01:36,429 Well, likewise. Likewise. 13 00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:39,557 - Congratulations, newlyweds. - Thank you. 14 00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:43,687 A May-December romance really warms my heart. 15 00:01:43,728 --> 00:01:45,689 Aw, that's so sweet. 16 00:01:45,730 --> 00:01:47,774 - And you look wonderful, by the way. - Thank you. 17 00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:51,361 I think I recognize that outfit from season six. 18 00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:54,781 Okay, well, I will leave the two of you to catch up. 19 00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:56,408 Behave. 20 00:01:58,993 --> 00:02:00,412 Congratulations. 21 00:02:00,995 --> 00:02:02,163 Not bad. 22 00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:03,373 I mean, a year ago, 23 00:02:03,415 --> 00:02:06,876 you were doing insurance commercials with talking beavers. 24 00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:08,586 And now you have all this. 25 00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:11,006 She have family money? 26 00:02:11,047 --> 00:02:14,426 Oh, no. Ava is 100% self-made. 27 00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:18,013 She founded a discount online brokerage for women, 28 00:02:18,054 --> 00:02:19,347 She Trade. 29 00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:22,642 So, this is a treat. 30 00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:25,020 After three years radio silence. 31 00:02:25,061 --> 00:02:27,439 What is this, some kind of 12-Step thing? 32 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:30,608 You're a rage-a-holic? You here to make amends? 33 00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:31,568 No. 34 00:02:31,609 --> 00:02:34,237 This isn't easy for me, Michael. 35 00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:36,740 I know that we have hurt each other in the past. 36 00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:39,701 I know that I have hurt you terribly. 37 00:02:40,702 --> 00:02:43,329 But I have to ask you for a favor. 38 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:49,252 I want you to do a play with me. 39 00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:53,715 What? It's one night only. Regional theater. 40 00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:55,508 Oh, but they have very deep pockets. 41 00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:58,345 I think some of the donors are big Spooky fans actually. 42 00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:00,805 They offered big money. 43 00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:02,265 What's the play? 44 00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:03,808 The Ghosts of Pensacola. 45 00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:08,188 Listen, even 30 years ago, that mope-fest sucked. 46 00:03:08,229 --> 00:03:10,732 Those were the best reviews of our career. 47 00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:12,317 It's a low bar. 48 00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:15,528 Michael, do you know that if you died tomorrow, 49 00:03:15,570 --> 00:03:17,280 you would be remembered 50 00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:19,157 for Spooky and the Cop. 51 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,492 Well, that's great. 52 00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:22,994 That means I provided joy to a lot of people. 53 00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:25,330 You are an artist. 54 00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:27,707 It rages in your blood. 55 00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:29,417 I know your soul. 56 00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:34,339 I remember what the fire was like on that stage. 57 00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:36,091 Okay, I think you're overselling it, darling. 58 00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:38,051 The primal connection we had 59 00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:39,719 before the success, 60 00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:42,597 before the feuds and the tabloids. 61 00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:45,141 Oh, yeah, and the People magazine interview 62 00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:46,893 where you implied that I couldn't read. 63 00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:48,103 I said I was sorry. 64 00:03:48,144 --> 00:03:49,896 It's still on my Wikipedia page. 65 00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:52,899 There's a whole subheading. "Illiteracy." 66 00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:55,902 Michael, I'm desperate. 67 00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:58,071 Please, I'm begging you. 68 00:03:58,113 --> 00:03:59,948 I will do anything you want. 69 00:03:59,989 --> 00:04:02,200 I will prostrate myself publicly. 70 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,828 But I need this. 71 00:04:04,869 --> 00:04:08,248 Do you know what it's like for an actress of a certain age? 72 00:04:08,289 --> 00:04:12,585 You go from mom to senator to dementia patient. 73 00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:14,796 And I need the money. 74 00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:23,096 Well, I'm sorry, Kathleen. The answer's no, okay? 75 00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:25,223 But if you need some cash, I could ask Ava. 76 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,725 Oh, fuck you! 77 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,855 And fuck you, bitch. 78 00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:34,941 Fuckin' motherfuckers! 79 00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,985 - Fuck! - Jesus Christ. 80 00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:38,611 Motherfucker! 81 00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:40,530 Oh, God. 82 00:04:40,572 --> 00:04:42,949 Michael, I keep asking you 83 00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:43,992 to keep your pills on you. 84 00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:45,452 What if I'm not here? 85 00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:46,619 - Ava... - Your heart. 86 00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:50,290 It's just, seeing Kathleen makes my blood pressure spike. 87 00:04:50,331 --> 00:04:52,834 I'll get a massage from Jean Marc. 88 00:04:54,502 --> 00:04:56,004 Darling. 89 00:04:57,213 --> 00:04:58,757 Perhaps you should reconsider. 90 00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:01,760 I worry. 91 00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:05,472 You know, my money, my career, 92 00:05:05,513 --> 00:05:07,932 all of this. 93 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,977 You miss the limelight. 94 00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:14,481 But with Kathleen? 95 00:05:14,522 --> 00:05:16,232 Oh, come on. 96 00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:18,526 It was 30 years ago. 97 00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:20,987 I'm sure you've both grown since then. 98 00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:27,535 You manipulating, lying shrew! 99 00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:30,163 Oh, grow up, you're a kept man. 100 00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:33,208 You should be used to taking direction from a woman. 101 00:05:33,249 --> 00:05:36,378 There is no way I'm letting you direct this damn play! 102 00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:37,671 Whoops, I am. 103 00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:40,423 And you would have known that had you read your contract 104 00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,217 or had someone read it to you. 105 00:05:42,258 --> 00:05:45,637 Oh, okay, great. I'm in hell! 106 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:48,556 And get this dog off the stage before I kick it for three points. 107 00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:50,183 Come here, Fosse. 108 00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:51,559 Could we possibly discuss 109 00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:53,520 my character's clubfoot for just a moment? 110 00:05:53,561 --> 00:05:55,522 Because I would feel personally a lot more comfortable 111 00:05:55,563 --> 00:05:58,858 if somebody from the clubfoot community were advising. 112 00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,443 - Oh, God, really? - Yeah. 113 00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:03,029 Just get out there and hobble, honey. 114 00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:04,698 That's the lunch menu, sir. 115 00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:09,244 I'll have a club sandwich with a side order of a gun. 116 00:06:09,285 --> 00:06:12,539 And also, Harry, if it's not too much trouble, 117 00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:15,875 thanks, could you get me a hibiscus tea, please? 118 00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:17,877 With milk. But not almond milk. 119 00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:21,423 I know people like it, but I'm allergic to all tree nuts and legumes, actually. 120 00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:23,842 - Of course you are. - Well, no, I am. 121 00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:25,593 So if those dog treats are peanut-based, 122 00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:28,054 because they smell peanut-based and they say peanut butter on them, 123 00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:30,724 I could go into anaphylactic shock, actually. 124 00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:34,019 Hold on. What the fuck is that? 125 00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,395 What? 126 00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:37,564 That thing on your lap. 127 00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:38,898 What is it? 128 00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:42,694 My script? 129 00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:48,283 Would you like a representative of the off-book community present? 130 00:06:48,324 --> 00:06:51,202 You know, this is not a TikTok, baby. 131 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,413 This is my stage! 132 00:06:53,455 --> 00:06:58,460 And you show up knowing your goddamn lines. 133 00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:00,545 These fucking millennials. 134 00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:02,088 Don't worry. You're doing great. 135 00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:04,382 You've already lasted longer than John Stamos. 136 00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:07,135 Where is my stage manager Bill? 137 00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:08,636 - Phil. - Okay, Bill, 138 00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:10,889 we are going to run this play 139 00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:14,267 the exact same way we did in 1991. 140 00:07:14,309 --> 00:07:19,022 The timing on my trapdoor exit at the finale 141 00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:22,484 must be exactly the same. 142 00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:25,612 Well, we don't do trapdoor drops anymore. 143 00:07:25,653 --> 00:07:26,738 It isn't safe. 144 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,782 There's a 15-foot drop down 145 00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:31,576 to a concrete floor underneath, and union regulations state... 146 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:36,539 Okay, I did that drop every night for one year. 147 00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:38,958 Frank Rich called it "effective." 148 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:42,212 Okay, well, that was a long time... 149 00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,845 Say the word "ago." 150 00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:54,724 Go ahead. 151 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:57,977 I want you to. 152 00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:02,982 I'll make it as safe as I can. 153 00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:04,776 Don't knock yourself out, Phil. 154 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,653 Okay, everyone, come on. 155 00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:10,073 We have four days to make magic happen here. 156 00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:11,991 Places, everybody. 157 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,162 Places. 158 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,140 Okay, people, to review. 159 00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:39,978 Every time a military jet flies over, 160 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:43,648 I want everything on this stage to shake. 161 00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,859 Shake! You got it? Everything. 162 00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:49,029 - Yes, ma'am. - Now, on the third flyover, 163 00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:51,906 that is the cue for Michael's monologue, 164 00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:53,867 if he can manage to hit his mark. 165 00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:55,910 Is that big enough? Can you see it? 166 00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:59,664 Okay. Now, Bill. 167 00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:02,709 Bill, I would like to run through my monologue 168 00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:05,462 all the way till the end till the trapdoor fall. 169 00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:07,047 It's Phil. 170 00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:09,799 Yeah, we're ready! Everything's good! 171 00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:13,303 It was cold in Pensacola that winter. 172 00:09:13,345 --> 00:09:15,555 Unnatural cold. 173 00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:20,310 Frost that comes too soon and stays too long. 174 00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:22,020 Maybe forever. 175 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:25,357 The mist rises up and... 176 00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:26,649 Don't move! 177 00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:34,032 The mist rises up and covers your toes. 178 00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,325 Then you waste. 179 00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:39,788 The waves, 180 00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:43,708 they want to meet the clouds. 181 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:46,836 The mother and child reaching out 182 00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:48,797 for each other... 183 00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:52,467 Oh, goddamn you! 184 00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:55,428 - What the hell... - Hey, Kathleen. 185 00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:57,931 Why don't you grab me some extra thousand island dressing 186 00:09:57,972 --> 00:09:59,391 while you're back there. 187 00:10:00,892 --> 00:10:03,353 - Son of a bitch! - Mats work. 188 00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,816 - Hey! - What? 189 00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:10,443 I almost broke my goddamn neck! 190 00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:13,446 - I'm done. I'm out. I quit! - Good. 191 00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:18,284 You walk out now, you're on the hook for a $200,000 kill fee. 192 00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:20,954 So maybe you want to talk to your wife about it first. 193 00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:22,789 The one who pays your allowance. 194 00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:24,874 It's worth every penny! 195 00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:28,628 You know, I'm not so sure, because I think if she knew 196 00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:31,673 about all your dalliances, maybe not so much. 197 00:10:31,715 --> 00:10:34,634 All right. You want some mutually-assured destruction? 198 00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:35,969 - Yeah. - I got you, baby. 199 00:10:36,011 --> 00:10:38,138 - Bring it. - Because I'm working on my memoirs, 200 00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:42,142 and I got a whole chapter about Acapulco. 201 00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:44,936 You signed an NDA. 202 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:48,732 Yeah, well, now I got NFs to G. 203 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,233 All right, I'll do your damn play, 204 00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:53,278 but I tell you this: The doomsday clock is ticking. 205 00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:55,822 And when the curtains drop on this play tonight, 206 00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:58,074 you can kiss your career goodbye. 207 00:10:58,116 --> 00:11:00,201 You might want to check your prenup. 208 00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:02,704 Because tomorrow, 209 00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:08,710 Ava is getting a little info in the mail about Chyna with a "Y." 210 00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:11,296 I'm not bluffing. 211 00:11:12,047 --> 00:11:13,006 I know. 212 00:11:13,048 --> 00:11:14,924 You're not a good enough actor. 213 00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:51,878 Okay. Five minutes to call, people. Five minutes. 214 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,296 - Found it. - Thank you. 215 00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:56,299 I got you a seat right up front so I can see you. 216 00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:57,467 Lucky me. 217 00:11:58,385 --> 00:11:59,886 Break a leg. 218 00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:03,098 Ava. Ava, darling. 219 00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:05,141 I just wanted to thank you. 220 00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:06,309 Sorry? 221 00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:11,731 Well, I know that you convinced Michael to do the play with me, 222 00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:14,317 and I just... Thank you. 223 00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:16,236 Oh, Kathleen. Oh. 224 00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:19,280 No, see, I knew that working with you would be 225 00:12:19,322 --> 00:12:22,701 such a fucking nightmare that it would kill off 226 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:27,330 Michael's silly little acting bug once and for all, and voilà. 227 00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:29,833 So, thank you. 228 00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:31,126 Psycho. 229 00:12:37,132 --> 00:12:39,968 That bitch's teeth don't even match. 230 00:12:40,010 --> 00:12:42,512 The fuck is going on here? 231 00:12:42,554 --> 00:12:43,847 Break a leg, Michael. Oh! 232 00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:45,932 Better not let Kathleen catch you with those. 233 00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:47,183 What is she going to do, fire me? 234 00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:49,310 A man can dream. 235 00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:10,999 Tomcat? 236 00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:13,626 No, that's a Phantom. 237 00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:16,546 Don't know why they bother. 238 00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:20,050 They say our boys will be home by Christmas. 239 00:13:20,091 --> 00:13:22,010 What are you afraid of? 240 00:13:22,052 --> 00:13:24,012 What will become of her? 241 00:13:24,846 --> 00:13:27,057 I'm afraid that she has 242 00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:30,894 too much of both of us inside her. 243 00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:34,689 I'm afraid that she has a gunmetal heart. 244 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:36,399 Like you. 245 00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:43,406 Summer felt like winter 246 00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:45,325 felt like spring. 247 00:13:45,367 --> 00:13:47,118 Fucking hack! 248 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,579 Pathetic excuse for a man. 249 00:13:49,621 --> 00:13:51,790 You ball-busting harpy. 250 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,917 Ow. Ouch. Ouch. 251 00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:58,797 Goddamn son of a fucking piece of shit. 252 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,508 You washed-up has-been. 253 00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:04,052 You pathetic preening prick! 254 00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:06,888 You are such a failure. 255 00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:08,556 You think you're an actress? 256 00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:09,432 You're a joke. 257 00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:13,520 A lying, philandering failure. 258 00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:15,939 The whole crew used to laugh at you. 259 00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,941 Actress? More like hacktress. 260 00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:20,860 You impotent baby. 261 00:14:20,902 --> 00:14:24,364 How the fuck did I put up with you all these years? 262 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:30,286 You shriveled prune. 263 00:14:30,328 --> 00:14:33,957 Not as shriveled as your tiny little dick! 264 00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:35,208 Asshole. 265 00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:41,673 You vain, backstabbing hag. 266 00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:48,388 What kind of god! 267 00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:50,348 Bobby. 268 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:54,185 Bobby, I want my heart to soar. 269 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:57,313 I will dance on your grave. 270 00:14:57,355 --> 00:14:59,357 I'll piss on your grave. 271 00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:09,826 It feels like a storm is brewin'. 272 00:15:09,868 --> 00:15:12,078 Did you close the windows, sweetheart? 273 00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:20,587 Oh, baby. I saw the Crawford boy down the supermarket today. 274 00:15:22,964 --> 00:15:25,091 He works at the base now. 275 00:15:31,056 --> 00:15:32,849 - Stop it, Mama. - Stop what? 276 00:15:32,891 --> 00:15:37,020 Stop it! Just stop thinking that any man would ever want me. 277 00:15:37,062 --> 00:15:40,273 Oh, no, I didn't say that about your foot. 278 00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:42,484 - No! - Oh, no. 279 00:15:42,525 --> 00:15:46,654 They say that there are two types of men in Pensacola: 280 00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:50,116 Pilots, and the men who keep 'em up in the air. 281 00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:54,371 And if you forget, they'll remind you. 282 00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:57,207 Some folks say that that's why they fly their jets so low. 283 00:15:57,248 --> 00:15:59,668 Make us spill our morning coffee. 284 00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:04,005 Always looking up at the skies 285 00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:05,423 in fear. 286 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:08,134 Just to keep us in our place. 287 00:16:14,557 --> 00:16:16,059 Look out! 288 00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:20,563 Michael! 289 00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:21,731 Ava. 290 00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:23,566 Shit. 291 00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:30,824 Ava! Ava! 292 00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:35,787 Oh, my God! 293 00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:38,540 Oh, no! 294 00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:44,963 I think we've got everything we need. 295 00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:47,841 And again, I'm so sorry for your loss. 296 00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:48,925 Thank you. 297 00:16:48,967 --> 00:16:51,177 Oh, I'll give you guys some privacy. 298 00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:53,596 I just want you to know that Spooky and the Cop 299 00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:55,807 made me choose a career in law enforcement. 300 00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:58,685 Thank you. I can't tell you how many times I've heard that. 301 00:17:12,157 --> 00:17:15,869 That was the performance of a lifetime. 302 00:17:16,828 --> 00:17:18,246 You did it, darling. 303 00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:20,457 We did it. 304 00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:21,583 We did it. 305 00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:32,010 Come on, you threw a tip at a customer. 306 00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:33,136 You know what, it was a dime. 307 00:17:33,178 --> 00:17:34,387 And you ate someone's bacon. 308 00:17:34,429 --> 00:17:35,972 They were ignoring me. 309 00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:38,516 You are the worst waitress I've ever had. 310 00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,977 And I ran a Cracker Barrel in the Green Zone. 311 00:17:41,019 --> 00:17:44,647 That last part was unnecessary, but thank you for your service. 312 00:17:44,689 --> 00:17:46,608 Okay. God. 313 00:17:53,156 --> 00:17:56,659 Well, as firings go, hardly my best work. 314 00:17:57,535 --> 00:17:59,245 Not bad for a matinee. 315 00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:02,290 You happen to know anyplace else that's looking for a subpar waitress 316 00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:05,585 that doesn't require paperwork or references? 317 00:18:05,627 --> 00:18:09,381 Well, actually, half hours, good tips, 318 00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:11,841 no benefits, 319 00:18:11,883 --> 00:18:13,510 seasonal work, so it pays cash. 320 00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:16,471 I can put in a good word for you if you're interested. 321 00:18:16,513 --> 00:18:18,932 Well, that actually sounds pretty perfect. 322 00:18:18,973 --> 00:18:19,974 What's the catch? 323 00:18:21,559 --> 00:18:23,019 - Philadelphia - Yeah 324 00:18:23,061 --> 00:18:24,354 - Am I helping ya? - Yeah 325 00:18:24,396 --> 00:18:25,730 Who's your daddy? And by that, I mean 326 00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:27,607 - Founding Father? - Franklin 327 00:18:27,649 --> 00:18:29,150 - Who? Ben Franklin - You 328 00:18:29,192 --> 00:18:30,443 It's no surprise 329 00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:32,237 I'm healthy and wealthy and wise 330 00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:34,989 I've been struck by lightning 331 00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:37,534 Anyone can see 332 00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:40,245 A great big storm And a little old kite 333 00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,706 Helped me find the key 334 00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:44,040 This is hell. 335 00:18:44,082 --> 00:18:46,710 I'm all about the Benjamin 336 00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:49,170 Benjamin Franklin... 337 00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:03,435 Okay, people, to review. 338 00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:07,355 Every time a military jet flies over, 339 00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:10,900 I want everything on this stage to shake. 340 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,570 Morning, Jer. Miss me? 341 00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:15,947 I'm listening to the tech rehearsal. 342 00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,534 I'll take that as a yes. What is this... 343 00:19:19,576 --> 00:19:21,036 Bill! Bill! 344 00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:23,705 ...the big magilla they've been working on all week? 345 00:19:23,747 --> 00:19:26,624 That's Kathleen Townsend and Michael Graves 346 00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,793 doing Ghosts of Pensacola here. 347 00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:30,211 I'm losing my shit. 348 00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:31,796 Hey, hey. No, that's not food. 349 00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:33,757 It's a prop. Prop food. 350 00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:35,550 - Respect it. - Well, this is food. 351 00:19:35,592 --> 00:19:37,093 - This is food. You're nuts. - Hey! 352 00:19:37,135 --> 00:19:39,387 Listen up. No peanuts in anything. 353 00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:42,098 The third banana onstage has an allergy. 354 00:19:42,140 --> 00:19:44,017 It's our one-night-only gala event. 355 00:19:44,059 --> 00:19:47,937 It's a sellout, and I don't get halibut every day. 356 00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:50,565 So I need everyone on their toes, okay? 357 00:20:06,331 --> 00:20:09,292 Wait. Charlie. No! 358 00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:22,013 Oh, goddamn you! 359 00:20:23,098 --> 00:20:25,392 What the hell... 360 00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,144 Hey, Kathleen. 361 00:20:28,186 --> 00:20:29,437 Why don't you grab me some extra 362 00:20:29,479 --> 00:20:31,690 thousand island dressing while you're back there? 363 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,108 What? 364 00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:34,526 Son of a bitch! 365 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:35,985 Mats work! 366 00:20:36,027 --> 00:20:37,362 Bring me the Philistine. 367 00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:41,491 Oh, please, God, no, don't break another wig. 368 00:20:46,663 --> 00:20:50,166 - Hey! - Now you listen to me. 369 00:20:50,208 --> 00:20:52,544 When an actor is performing, 370 00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:56,673 you don't sneeze, you don't breathe, 371 00:20:56,715 --> 00:20:59,509 you don't dump fucking ice 372 00:20:59,551 --> 00:21:02,053 in a fucking frozé dispenser. 373 00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:05,473 Okay, listen, lady, I really... I just... 374 00:21:05,515 --> 00:21:06,808 I'm just doing my job here. 375 00:21:06,850 --> 00:21:09,102 What, do you think people come here for the food? 376 00:21:09,144 --> 00:21:10,770 Well, yeah. I mean, kind of. 377 00:21:10,812 --> 00:21:13,481 You know, I'm just a waitress. 378 00:21:13,523 --> 00:21:16,568 It's not really my fault that this place came with a talking wall. 379 00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:19,571 That stage is an altar 380 00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:22,032 where we bare our souls 381 00:21:22,073 --> 00:21:24,617 in search of the truth. 382 00:21:24,659 --> 00:21:27,871 Now you will respect that, young lady, 383 00:21:27,912 --> 00:21:30,123 or you can hit the fucking bricks. 384 00:21:31,916 --> 00:21:33,418 The truth. 385 00:21:33,460 --> 00:21:35,545 Wow. Yeah, sorry. 386 00:21:35,587 --> 00:21:38,006 I just... I happen to know a thing or two about the truth, 387 00:21:38,048 --> 00:21:39,215 so I'll tell you. 388 00:21:39,257 --> 00:21:41,092 You got Patrick Swayze, Road House. 389 00:21:41,134 --> 00:21:43,261 Jennifer Jason Leigh, Single White Female. 390 00:21:43,303 --> 00:21:45,638 Christian Slater, True Romance. 391 00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:47,432 Truth, truth, truth. Now, you. 392 00:21:47,474 --> 00:21:51,227 Well, I did happen to catch a few words through the rainstorm. 393 00:21:51,269 --> 00:21:54,272 And I'll tell you the truth, I didn't believe a single word. 394 00:21:54,314 --> 00:21:57,859 In fact, I would say that that's maybe the biggest batch 395 00:21:57,901 --> 00:22:01,446 of bullshit I've heard in my whole, yeah, whole entire life. 396 00:22:02,405 --> 00:22:04,616 Jesus. 397 00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:07,452 I get it. I'll see myself out. 398 00:22:07,494 --> 00:22:10,663 I haven't been spoken to that way in 30 years. 399 00:22:14,501 --> 00:22:16,711 - Does this mean I'm not fired. - Fired? 400 00:22:16,753 --> 00:22:19,464 My God. What you're giving me is gold. 401 00:22:19,506 --> 00:22:21,049 It's fuel. 402 00:22:22,634 --> 00:22:25,637 I live off it. I use it. 403 00:22:27,013 --> 00:22:29,015 And you're lucky you took those earbuds out 404 00:22:29,057 --> 00:22:32,852 because you're about to hear the performance of a lifetime. 405 00:22:36,356 --> 00:22:37,524 I love your work. 406 00:22:38,358 --> 00:22:40,443 Hey. 407 00:22:40,485 --> 00:22:41,444 Hey. 408 00:22:41,486 --> 00:22:44,823 You survived a face full of Kathleen Townsend, kid. 409 00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:48,785 I mean, you seem like a normal guy, Phil. 410 00:22:48,827 --> 00:22:50,787 How are you putting up with these theater people? 411 00:22:50,829 --> 00:22:54,624 Well, you got to love 'em, and you got to understand 'em. 412 00:22:54,666 --> 00:22:57,627 I mean, what Kathleen said, she's right. 413 00:22:57,669 --> 00:23:00,755 What happens on that stage is a kind of magic. 414 00:23:00,797 --> 00:23:02,799 And I get to see someone hit with it, 415 00:23:02,841 --> 00:23:06,428 truly transformed by it for the first time every show. 416 00:23:06,469 --> 00:23:08,596 That's probably why I keep doing it. 417 00:23:08,638 --> 00:23:11,057 Well, you're a better man than me, Phil. 418 00:23:11,099 --> 00:23:14,978 Well, everything I said and, but also, 419 00:23:15,020 --> 00:23:16,146 Jack Daniels 420 00:23:16,187 --> 00:23:19,357 is my dramaturg. 421 00:23:19,399 --> 00:23:23,611 Now, you see, this is the kind of pep talk I can get behind. 422 00:23:23,653 --> 00:23:25,822 One night only, kid. 423 00:23:25,864 --> 00:23:27,907 After opening, this is all over. 424 00:23:29,451 --> 00:23:32,203 To opening night. 425 00:23:39,711 --> 00:23:41,004 Excuse me, darling. 426 00:23:41,046 --> 00:23:43,006 Can you get me absolutely shit-faced? 427 00:23:43,048 --> 00:23:45,508 Oh, you'll never see the bottom of that glass. 428 00:23:45,550 --> 00:23:46,926 Like you? 429 00:23:49,471 --> 00:23:53,183 Summer felt like winter 430 00:23:53,224 --> 00:23:54,351 felt like spring. 431 00:23:54,392 --> 00:23:55,935 Makes you miss the hip-hop Ben Franklin. 432 00:23:55,977 --> 00:23:57,937 I didn't know what the seasons felt like... 433 00:23:57,979 --> 00:24:00,690 ...you washed-up has-been. 434 00:24:00,732 --> 00:24:02,859 You pathetic, preening prick! 435 00:24:02,901 --> 00:24:04,361 Glad someone's riveted. 436 00:24:04,402 --> 00:24:06,071 ...actress. You're a joke. 437 00:24:06,112 --> 00:24:07,697 Kathleen and Michael are fighting backstage, 438 00:24:07,739 --> 00:24:09,074 and they forgot to turn off their mics. 439 00:24:09,115 --> 00:24:10,367 ...failure. 440 00:24:10,408 --> 00:24:12,243 The whole crew used to laugh at you. 441 00:24:12,285 --> 00:24:14,871 - You weren't kidding. - Actress? More like hacktress. 442 00:24:14,913 --> 00:24:17,707 Hold on, if we can hear this, 443 00:24:17,749 --> 00:24:19,876 you realize who else can hear it, right? 444 00:24:21,252 --> 00:24:25,173 And I always ask myself, why, God, why? 445 00:24:25,215 --> 00:24:28,176 - But Bobby always made me feel... - Prune! 446 00:24:28,218 --> 00:24:31,471 Not as shriveled as your tiny little dick! 447 00:24:31,513 --> 00:24:33,098 Asshole. 448 00:24:33,139 --> 00:24:35,392 You vain, backstabbing hag. 449 00:24:35,433 --> 00:24:38,228 Who's talking? Is that the ghost? 450 00:24:38,269 --> 00:24:40,188 That's all I've ever wanted. 451 00:24:45,568 --> 00:24:49,906 Oh. Feels like a storm is brewin'. 452 00:24:49,948 --> 00:24:54,119 I saw the Crawford boy down the supermarket today. 453 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:55,203 He asked about you. 454 00:24:55,245 --> 00:24:56,996 - Thanks. - Oh, stop it, Mama! 455 00:24:57,038 --> 00:25:00,250 Stop thinking that any man would ever want me. 456 00:25:00,291 --> 00:25:02,252 Kill me. 457 00:25:02,293 --> 00:25:04,963 There are two kinds of men in Pensacola: 458 00:25:05,005 --> 00:25:08,883 Pilots, and the men who keep 'em up in the air. 459 00:25:08,925 --> 00:25:11,219 And if you forget, they'll remind you. 460 00:25:11,261 --> 00:25:12,303 Watch Kathleen. 461 00:25:12,345 --> 00:25:13,430 Some folks say that's why... 462 00:25:13,471 --> 00:25:14,889 She's so present. 463 00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:17,100 Look at her. 464 00:25:17,142 --> 00:25:20,103 Fear and anticipation in her eyes. 465 00:25:21,479 --> 00:25:22,856 Yeah, you're right. 466 00:25:22,897 --> 00:25:24,774 This is the first time I've really believed her. 467 00:25:27,027 --> 00:25:28,903 Look out! 468 00:25:28,945 --> 00:25:30,780 Ava! 469 00:25:30,822 --> 00:25:32,282 - Michael! - Oh! 470 00:25:32,323 --> 00:25:35,702 Ava! 471 00:25:41,833 --> 00:25:44,753 Ava! Ava! 472 00:25:44,794 --> 00:25:47,172 Oh, my God! 473 00:25:51,885 --> 00:25:54,637 I mean, look, it's not your fault. 474 00:25:54,679 --> 00:25:57,474 A woman fell to her death on my stage. 475 00:25:57,515 --> 00:25:58,641 How is it not my fault? 476 00:25:58,683 --> 00:26:01,019 Because it was a crazy accident, okay? 477 00:26:01,061 --> 00:26:04,898 I mean, just think about all the things that had to go wrong. 478 00:26:04,939 --> 00:26:07,609 The light fell. Michael had a heart attack. 479 00:26:07,650 --> 00:26:09,486 His wife ran up with his pills 480 00:26:09,527 --> 00:26:13,156 after I poured her a bottle of the good stuff, by the way. 481 00:26:13,198 --> 00:26:15,950 If any one of those things hadn't happened, 482 00:26:15,992 --> 00:26:17,786 you and me will be outside by the dumpsters 483 00:26:17,827 --> 00:26:20,372 ranking Christopher Nolan movies right now. 484 00:26:20,413 --> 00:26:22,624 No, as soon as the curtain goes up, 485 00:26:22,665 --> 00:26:24,459 it's all my responsibility. 486 00:26:25,669 --> 00:26:27,796 I guess I'm lucky. 487 00:26:27,837 --> 00:26:29,506 All the cops had to do is check my thermos, 488 00:26:29,547 --> 00:26:31,257 and I'd be sitting in a cell. 489 00:26:33,009 --> 00:26:35,637 Come on. I know you. 490 00:26:35,679 --> 00:26:38,932 It was just a little Irish coffee to take the edge off, right? 491 00:26:38,973 --> 00:26:40,350 Yeah, that's what I thought. 492 00:26:41,518 --> 00:26:43,061 Maybe I'm a lightweight now. 493 00:26:43,103 --> 00:26:46,815 I know I checked that bolt and those pads. 494 00:26:46,856 --> 00:26:49,234 It's the last thing I remember before... 495 00:26:52,195 --> 00:26:53,655 Oh, God. 496 00:26:53,697 --> 00:26:55,824 Oh, God. 497 00:26:55,865 --> 00:26:57,200 Oh, my God. 498 00:26:57,242 --> 00:26:59,119 Oh, my God. 499 00:26:59,786 --> 00:27:02,247 Oh, my God. 500 00:27:04,749 --> 00:27:07,335 Jesus. Should you be leaving those out? 501 00:27:07,377 --> 00:27:09,170 Baby, I'm an actress. 502 00:27:09,212 --> 00:27:12,048 If I didn't have a bottle of Ambien in my dressing room, 503 00:27:12,090 --> 00:27:13,967 people would ask questions. 504 00:27:14,009 --> 00:27:15,427 Yeah, it's too bad about Phil. 505 00:27:15,468 --> 00:27:18,346 It's not like he's in jail or anything. 506 00:27:18,388 --> 00:27:21,349 He just went a little overboard. 507 00:27:21,391 --> 00:27:24,269 Wow. You really missed your window for playing a femme fatale. 508 00:27:24,310 --> 00:27:29,566 Now, I can remind the whole world what Kathleen Townsend can do. 509 00:27:29,607 --> 00:27:32,819 And the world is watching. 510 00:27:32,861 --> 00:27:34,821 What are you talking about? 511 00:27:34,863 --> 00:27:37,741 We are trending, baby. 512 00:27:37,782 --> 00:27:38,908 Right now, 513 00:27:38,950 --> 00:27:41,786 people are watching us. 514 00:27:41,828 --> 00:27:44,289 They are really watching. 515 00:27:45,915 --> 00:27:50,086 And I never got to deliver my monologue. 516 00:27:50,795 --> 00:27:52,839 - No. - Yes. 517 00:27:52,881 --> 00:27:55,759 One last performance. Tonight. 518 00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:58,553 - No. No. - For Ava. For Ava. 519 00:27:58,595 --> 00:27:59,804 Fuck that. 520 00:27:59,846 --> 00:28:02,474 What happened to we hide out overseas for a year 521 00:28:02,515 --> 00:28:05,143 and then reemerge confessing our love. 522 00:28:05,185 --> 00:28:06,728 You wrote the script, baby. 523 00:28:06,770 --> 00:28:08,313 I know. I wrote it. 524 00:28:08,355 --> 00:28:09,731 - And now I'm flipping it. - No. 525 00:28:09,773 --> 00:28:11,816 I'm flipping the script entirely. 526 00:28:11,858 --> 00:28:16,780 Yes. Your tragedy is what drew us together. 527 00:28:16,821 --> 00:28:18,406 It's risky. 528 00:28:18,448 --> 00:28:20,575 Oh, baby, 529 00:28:20,617 --> 00:28:24,537 don't you want to be together right now? 530 00:28:24,579 --> 00:28:26,456 Yes. 531 00:28:26,498 --> 00:28:31,795 Don't you think we should start spending some of that She Trade money? 532 00:28:31,836 --> 00:28:33,963 Oh, yes. 533 00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:39,177 The spotlight's ours, baby. 534 00:28:39,219 --> 00:28:41,554 Let's get it while it's hot. 535 00:28:53,650 --> 00:28:54,818 So, let me get this straight, 536 00:28:54,859 --> 00:28:57,821 a woman dies right in our faces 537 00:28:57,862 --> 00:28:59,989 and instead of giving us grief counseling, 538 00:29:00,031 --> 00:29:01,783 we have to work? 539 00:29:01,825 --> 00:29:03,618 Theater people are so strong. 540 00:29:03,660 --> 00:29:06,830 I don't know, it just... It doesn't make any sense. 541 00:29:06,871 --> 00:29:09,749 I mean, the dude had a coronary, 542 00:29:09,791 --> 00:29:11,418 and then his wife died. 543 00:29:11,459 --> 00:29:14,713 Like, what doctor signed off on this? 544 00:29:14,754 --> 00:29:16,381 Find a seat for Sheriff Ed. 545 00:29:16,423 --> 00:29:19,259 He's some crazy Spooky and the Cop fan. 546 00:29:19,300 --> 00:29:21,261 It's a sellout. If he doesn't have a ticket... 547 00:29:21,302 --> 00:29:22,887 Give the lawman what he wants. 548 00:29:22,929 --> 00:29:25,140 He just dealt with the richest woman in Connecticut 549 00:29:25,181 --> 00:29:27,308 getting killed by a drunk stagehand. 550 00:29:27,350 --> 00:29:28,977 Oh, come on. Bullshit. 551 00:29:29,019 --> 00:29:30,353 Thin ice. 552 00:29:30,395 --> 00:29:32,772 Get out there and keep your job. 553 00:29:42,532 --> 00:29:43,742 What do you want? 554 00:29:43,783 --> 00:29:45,368 Oh, don't worry about Fosse. 555 00:29:45,410 --> 00:29:47,704 He's very well-behaved today. 556 00:29:51,875 --> 00:29:53,710 So, I thought it was weird 557 00:29:53,752 --> 00:29:56,171 that Michael was going over his dialogue for the show 558 00:29:56,212 --> 00:29:59,007 since he didn't miss a single line in rehearsal. 559 00:29:59,049 --> 00:30:03,011 So, I checked in his coat pocket and lo and behold, 560 00:30:03,053 --> 00:30:07,015 this is not dialogue from Ghosts of Pensacola. 561 00:30:07,057 --> 00:30:09,726 This is the fight that the two of you had 562 00:30:09,768 --> 00:30:12,020 during my monologue. 563 00:30:12,062 --> 00:30:15,565 The fight that you used to cover up Ava's murder. 564 00:30:15,607 --> 00:30:19,194 Sweetheart, Michael and I are workshopping 565 00:30:19,235 --> 00:30:22,530 a new play by a brilliant new writer, 566 00:30:22,572 --> 00:30:24,866 and we're running lines backstage. 567 00:30:24,908 --> 00:30:29,454 That might fly if I had seen the two of you backstage together. 568 00:30:29,496 --> 00:30:31,581 But I didn't. You were gone. 569 00:30:31,623 --> 00:30:34,042 And my monologue gave you just enough time 570 00:30:34,084 --> 00:30:35,669 to sabotage the light and the trapdoor. 571 00:30:35,710 --> 00:30:37,337 So you did it. 572 00:30:37,379 --> 00:30:39,506 You watch too much Dateline. 573 00:30:39,547 --> 00:30:43,218 No, but I have been watching a heck of a lot of Spooky and the Cop. 574 00:30:43,259 --> 00:30:45,345 And this exact thing happens 575 00:30:45,387 --> 00:30:49,516 in season six, episode 11, "Exit Stage Death." 576 00:30:49,557 --> 00:30:52,852 You lazy assholes didn't even bother to change the dialogue. 577 00:30:54,229 --> 00:30:58,108 So, here's my price. 578 00:30:58,149 --> 00:31:01,403 And here is my bank info. 579 00:31:04,698 --> 00:31:09,744 So, if that money is not in my account by the end of the play tonight, 580 00:31:10,453 --> 00:31:12,247 I'm going to the police. 581 00:31:14,958 --> 00:31:17,377 Oh, and one last thing. 582 00:31:17,419 --> 00:31:19,504 I killed that fucking monologue, okay? 583 00:31:19,546 --> 00:31:22,382 So, don't you ever upstage me again. 584 00:31:23,133 --> 00:31:24,551 Fucking boomers. 585 00:31:27,971 --> 00:31:30,181 Okay, what are we going to do? 586 00:31:31,099 --> 00:31:34,394 We have to pay. We have no choice. 587 00:31:47,032 --> 00:31:49,117 Just delivering the prop food. 588 00:31:49,159 --> 00:31:50,869 Oh, I belong here. 589 00:31:50,910 --> 00:31:52,704 Yeah. Okay, sir, prop food. 590 00:31:52,746 --> 00:31:54,122 Jesus. 591 00:31:54,164 --> 00:31:55,832 Ten minutes to curtain. 592 00:31:55,874 --> 00:31:57,459 Ten minutes to curtain. 593 00:31:59,836 --> 00:32:01,296 Phil's preshow checklist. 594 00:32:01,338 --> 00:32:02,922 Oh, shit. I got to do the checklist. 595 00:32:02,964 --> 00:32:04,341 Wow. 596 00:32:04,382 --> 00:32:06,801 He ticked off the flappy door checkbox before the show. 597 00:32:06,843 --> 00:32:08,178 - It's here. - So? 598 00:32:08,219 --> 00:32:10,555 If he secured the flappy door, 599 00:32:10,597 --> 00:32:12,557 that means that someone unsecured it. 600 00:32:12,599 --> 00:32:15,101 That means it wasn't Phil's fault and it wasn't an accident. 601 00:32:15,143 --> 00:32:19,522 Is anyone else besides Kathleen supposed to go through that flappy door? 602 00:32:19,564 --> 00:32:22,359 Her big trapdoor moment? Are you kidding me? 603 00:32:23,443 --> 00:32:25,904 That means that Kathleen was the target. 604 00:32:25,945 --> 00:32:27,155 I gotta text Phil. 605 00:32:27,197 --> 00:32:28,490 Oh, my God. 606 00:32:28,531 --> 00:32:31,826 - Hey. - It's Charlie. It wasn't your fault. 607 00:32:31,868 --> 00:32:34,788 It was sabotage. S-A-B-O-O... 608 00:32:34,829 --> 00:32:36,498 - That doesn't seem right. - The show is about to start. 609 00:32:36,539 --> 00:32:39,751 Oh, my God, dude, we just figured out that someone is trying to kill Kathleen. 610 00:32:39,793 --> 00:32:42,003 Now you're going to give them another whack at the piñata? 611 00:32:42,045 --> 00:32:43,713 But the show is about to start! 612 00:32:46,716 --> 00:32:48,718 Oh, if it isn't my fiercest critic. 613 00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:52,347 Are you here to give me some notes before my swan song? 614 00:32:52,389 --> 00:32:54,349 It wasn't Phil's fault. 615 00:32:54,391 --> 00:32:55,517 He was framed. 616 00:32:57,060 --> 00:33:00,522 So I think someone drugged him and futzed with the floor door. 617 00:33:00,563 --> 00:33:02,399 I mean, I don't know why, 618 00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:03,983 but I think you were the target. 619 00:33:04,025 --> 00:33:05,610 Me? 620 00:33:05,652 --> 00:33:08,405 You're the only one who was supposed to stand on it, so... 621 00:33:09,197 --> 00:33:13,159 I walk across it many times and did not fall through. 622 00:33:13,201 --> 00:33:15,704 My blocking is very vigorous. 623 00:33:17,038 --> 00:33:18,289 Okay. 624 00:33:18,331 --> 00:33:20,750 Look, things happen in the theater all the time. 625 00:33:20,792 --> 00:33:22,544 Entire sets collapse. 626 00:33:22,585 --> 00:33:24,754 Live wires get exposed, 627 00:33:24,796 --> 00:33:26,965 they electrocute actors. 628 00:33:27,007 --> 00:33:28,675 But we persevere. 629 00:33:28,717 --> 00:33:31,177 Hey, I'm so sorry. I don't think you're hearing me. 630 00:33:31,219 --> 00:33:32,887 Someone's trying to kill you. 631 00:33:32,929 --> 00:33:35,390 I'm not going to let you go back out there. 632 00:33:40,145 --> 00:33:41,896 I'm already on. 633 00:33:43,148 --> 00:33:44,607 Now get out of my room. 634 00:33:45,233 --> 00:33:46,401 Wardrobe. 635 00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:03,918 Tomcat? 636 00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:06,421 No, that's a Phantom. 637 00:34:07,672 --> 00:34:09,424 I don't know why they bother. 638 00:34:09,466 --> 00:34:11,926 They say our boys will be home by Christmas. 639 00:34:11,968 --> 00:34:13,178 Cue 38. 640 00:34:13,219 --> 00:34:15,055 Listen, is that Phil? 641 00:34:15,096 --> 00:34:16,389 Give me that. 642 00:34:16,431 --> 00:34:17,766 - Phil, Phil. - Hey. 643 00:34:17,807 --> 00:34:19,809 Listen, I don't get it. 644 00:34:19,851 --> 00:34:23,897 I mean, the bolt must have been in place until Ava walked across it. 645 00:34:23,938 --> 00:34:25,565 Did you see anybody else down there? 646 00:34:25,607 --> 00:34:26,524 Nobody. 647 00:34:26,566 --> 00:34:27,776 Look, Charlie, I appreciate 648 00:34:27,817 --> 00:34:29,819 what you're trying to do, but just let it go. 649 00:34:29,861 --> 00:34:31,029 No can do, Phil. 650 00:34:31,071 --> 00:34:32,697 I'm like De Niro at the end of Heat, man. 651 00:34:32,739 --> 00:34:34,240 So, stay tuned. 652 00:34:36,409 --> 00:34:38,203 I need to see the video of last night's show. 653 00:34:38,244 --> 00:34:41,206 Well, be my guest. Take the curse off me. 654 00:34:41,247 --> 00:34:42,832 It's like the video from The Ring, 655 00:34:42,874 --> 00:34:44,376 but with Phil gone, I'm the stage manager 656 00:34:44,417 --> 00:34:46,419 and I have nothing to go on except this video 657 00:34:46,461 --> 00:34:48,088 and Phil's notes from last night. 658 00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:52,717 Hey, hey, hey. 659 00:34:52,759 --> 00:34:53,927 What is that? 660 00:34:54,636 --> 00:34:55,804 Is that smoke? 661 00:34:55,845 --> 00:34:57,389 Looks like dry ice. 662 00:34:58,765 --> 00:35:01,267 Where do you keep this dry ice? 663 00:35:08,650 --> 00:35:10,402 Ow! Ow! Ow! 664 00:35:10,443 --> 00:35:11,736 You okay? 665 00:35:11,778 --> 00:35:15,240 Jesus. I got to talk to Kathleen. 666 00:35:15,281 --> 00:35:17,909 Hey, wait. Stop! 667 00:35:17,951 --> 00:35:20,912 See that? It's a sight line. 668 00:35:20,954 --> 00:35:23,748 You can't cross it, you're in the play. 669 00:35:23,790 --> 00:35:27,043 Bobby was my unexpected gift. 670 00:35:27,836 --> 00:35:29,421 Shameful as it was, 671 00:35:30,547 --> 00:35:32,966 I loved him so. 672 00:35:33,008 --> 00:35:36,428 He liked the stars that moved fast, 673 00:35:36,469 --> 00:35:38,138 like his aircraft. 674 00:35:38,179 --> 00:35:39,806 Hey, I figured it out. 675 00:35:39,848 --> 00:35:41,266 The bolt was dry ice. 676 00:35:41,307 --> 00:35:43,184 Excuse me. That means that someone definitely... 677 00:35:43,226 --> 00:35:45,603 The crickets are certainly very active. 678 00:35:45,645 --> 00:35:47,605 ...off! Off the stage. 679 00:35:47,647 --> 00:35:49,441 Oh, these crickets are wild. 680 00:35:49,482 --> 00:35:50,442 Off the stage. 681 00:35:50,483 --> 00:35:51,901 They need to stop, the crickets. 682 00:35:51,943 --> 00:35:52,819 Get off the stage. 683 00:35:52,861 --> 00:35:53,778 You need to stop now. 684 00:35:53,820 --> 00:35:55,447 You need to get off the stage. 685 00:35:55,488 --> 00:35:57,032 - Garrett... - Jesus! 686 00:35:57,073 --> 00:36:00,201 ...what are you doing smoking that filthy thing in the house? 687 00:36:00,243 --> 00:36:03,204 You'll give Daisy pleurisy if you don't watch out. 688 00:36:03,246 --> 00:36:04,581 Mother, I smoke. 689 00:36:04,622 --> 00:36:06,124 Does that shock you? 690 00:36:06,166 --> 00:36:09,169 That's right. I smoke cigarettes. 691 00:36:09,210 --> 00:36:11,379 Your daughter, your little girl. 692 00:36:11,421 --> 00:36:13,298 - Thank God. - It suits me. It calms my spirit... 693 00:36:13,340 --> 00:36:15,300 - Hey! - ...and it eases my mind. 694 00:36:15,342 --> 00:36:20,305 Yeah, well, looks like we got us a real smoker, Savannah. 695 00:36:20,347 --> 00:36:21,056 Good for you, Daisy. 696 00:36:21,097 --> 00:36:22,766 Hey, what are you doing? 697 00:36:22,807 --> 00:36:25,018 I myself enjoy smoking 698 00:36:25,060 --> 00:36:26,603 by the window over here. 699 00:36:26,644 --> 00:36:29,814 Let me go. Let me go! 700 00:36:29,856 --> 00:36:32,108 Smoke is going to be the death of all of us. 701 00:36:33,193 --> 00:36:34,944 I know what let's do. 702 00:36:34,986 --> 00:36:37,405 Let's bake something together. 703 00:36:37,447 --> 00:36:38,782 A key lime pie. 704 00:36:38,823 --> 00:36:40,325 Like when you were a little girl. 705 00:36:40,367 --> 00:36:42,619 I'm not a little girl anymore, Mama. 706 00:36:42,660 --> 00:36:43,828 It was Michael! 707 00:36:43,870 --> 00:36:48,041 His fingers are burned from the dry ice he used to rig the floor. 708 00:36:48,083 --> 00:36:50,502 There's supposed to be milk in here somewhere. 709 00:36:50,543 --> 00:36:52,003 Oh, there. 710 00:36:52,045 --> 00:36:55,131 Michael was on stage the entire time. 711 00:36:55,173 --> 00:36:57,842 No, the chubby foot monologue, that was three minutes. 712 00:36:57,884 --> 00:37:00,178 - He could have... - Our argument. 713 00:37:00,220 --> 00:37:02,347 Everyone heard it. You heard it. 714 00:37:02,389 --> 00:37:04,933 Now, what the fuck are you even talking about? 715 00:37:04,974 --> 00:37:07,185 You almost caught the bus, lady. 716 00:37:07,227 --> 00:37:09,229 That falling light saved your life. 717 00:37:09,270 --> 00:37:12,107 ...if I were a refrigerator, would you pay attention to me? 718 00:37:12,148 --> 00:37:15,276 Exactly. And do you think he rigged the light to kill himself? 719 00:37:15,318 --> 00:37:16,528 The light? 720 00:37:16,569 --> 00:37:19,197 ...watching life like his old man! 721 00:37:19,239 --> 00:37:21,950 Why did I push Bobby? Why? 722 00:37:21,991 --> 00:37:25,453 You only told him to aim high. 723 00:37:25,495 --> 00:37:28,707 Isn't that what we all want for our children? 724 00:37:28,748 --> 00:37:30,250 Oh. 725 00:37:30,291 --> 00:37:32,877 But when I saw him in those dress blues. 726 00:37:32,919 --> 00:37:37,007 Oh, that boy was born to fly. 727 00:37:37,048 --> 00:37:39,509 Was he happy, our son? 728 00:37:39,551 --> 00:37:41,136 Was he happy? 729 00:37:41,177 --> 00:37:44,055 Oh, baby, you and I both know that 730 00:37:44,097 --> 00:37:45,724 Bobby was never happy 731 00:37:45,765 --> 00:37:49,394 other than when he was up there flying with the birds. 732 00:37:49,436 --> 00:37:53,273 If that matters. If anything matters. 733 00:37:54,441 --> 00:37:55,608 I love you. 734 00:37:57,444 --> 00:37:58,695 That matters. 735 00:37:59,571 --> 00:38:00,572 The truth. 736 00:38:01,698 --> 00:38:03,116 I love you, too. 737 00:38:16,796 --> 00:38:18,465 Hey, hey, chubby foot. 738 00:38:18,506 --> 00:38:20,592 We've got a situation here. 739 00:38:20,633 --> 00:38:22,927 Who are you? Did you just come down from the lights? 740 00:38:22,969 --> 00:38:24,179 It doesn't matter. So, I thought 741 00:38:24,220 --> 00:38:25,972 that Michael was trying to kill Kathleen, 742 00:38:26,014 --> 00:38:27,265 but I was wrong. 743 00:38:27,307 --> 00:38:30,435 It was his wife, and they were in it together. 744 00:38:30,477 --> 00:38:32,228 Michael and Kathleen. 745 00:38:32,270 --> 00:38:34,439 You see, they don't hate each other. 746 00:38:34,481 --> 00:38:36,024 - They love each other. - Why are you telling me this? 747 00:38:36,066 --> 00:38:38,109 - I'm about to go on. - Oh, because... 748 00:38:38,151 --> 00:38:39,694 Excuse me. You can prove it. 749 00:38:39,736 --> 00:38:43,948 You see, it was during your foot club speech thing. 750 00:38:43,990 --> 00:38:46,034 He was futzing with the flappy door, 751 00:38:46,076 --> 00:38:49,079 and she was messing with the light. 752 00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:50,789 What was it? Three minutes, right? 753 00:38:50,830 --> 00:38:54,209 Yes. But I saw the two of them backstage together, 754 00:38:54,250 --> 00:38:55,835 so they couldn't possibly have done it, okay? 755 00:38:55,877 --> 00:38:58,463 So, will you leave me alone? I have to go on. 756 00:38:58,505 --> 00:38:59,714 Wait, why are you lying? 757 00:38:59,756 --> 00:39:01,091 Wait, are you in love with him, too? 758 00:39:01,132 --> 00:39:03,218 Will you please leave me alone? 759 00:39:03,259 --> 00:39:04,928 Are you a thruple? 760 00:39:04,969 --> 00:39:06,763 - Shit. - Mama. 761 00:39:06,805 --> 00:39:09,849 Do you think Billy Crawford will come calling? 762 00:39:09,891 --> 00:39:13,520 Oh, I could call his mother and ask her, couldn't I? 763 00:39:18,942 --> 00:39:22,028 No, never mind, Mama. Forget I mentioned it. 764 00:39:22,070 --> 00:39:23,279 I will. 765 00:39:24,614 --> 00:39:27,450 Do you think there could be a sign or somethin'? 766 00:39:38,253 --> 00:39:40,547 Fucking actors, man. 767 00:39:43,216 --> 00:39:46,344 Chubby foot. Very hardcore. 768 00:39:50,974 --> 00:39:52,100 Quiet, quiet, hey! 769 00:39:52,142 --> 00:39:55,937 Who wants a yummy, yummy little peanut butter treat? 770 00:39:58,231 --> 00:39:59,607 Oh, shit. 771 00:40:05,739 --> 00:40:07,365 Shit, shit, shit. 772 00:40:09,242 --> 00:40:11,536 Look, honey, I made you a little snack. 773 00:40:11,578 --> 00:40:12,579 Oh, Jesus. 774 00:40:12,620 --> 00:40:14,414 - Thank you, Mama. - Oh, shit. 775 00:40:15,707 --> 00:40:17,000 Hey. 776 00:40:17,042 --> 00:40:18,335 Who eats the prop? 777 00:40:18,376 --> 00:40:20,378 - Which actor eats the Chex Mix? - Rebecca. 778 00:40:20,420 --> 00:40:22,756 No, they put peanut butter in it. They're gonna kill again. 779 00:40:23,256 --> 00:40:24,382 Shit. 780 00:40:24,424 --> 00:40:26,092 I was so young. 781 00:40:26,134 --> 00:40:28,261 Florida State was looking for a fullback. 782 00:40:28,303 --> 00:40:29,721 Coach was scouting me. 783 00:40:29,763 --> 00:40:32,057 You think I wanted to get married at 18? 784 00:40:32,098 --> 00:40:33,933 Do you think I did? 785 00:41:07,300 --> 00:41:10,679 I am a ghost of Pensacola. 786 00:41:10,720 --> 00:41:14,265 And you are not here to eat. 787 00:41:14,307 --> 00:41:18,311 You are here to talk about your chubby foot 788 00:41:18,353 --> 00:41:21,272 and feelings. 789 00:41:21,314 --> 00:41:25,068 Do not let your mother 790 00:41:25,110 --> 00:41:27,487 poison your spirit 791 00:41:29,364 --> 00:41:33,118 and drive you nuts. 792 00:41:33,159 --> 00:41:36,329 And now I will return 793 00:41:36,371 --> 00:41:40,000 to the spirit realm of Pensacola. 794 00:41:41,126 --> 00:41:42,377 Okay. 795 00:41:42,419 --> 00:41:44,295 Goodbye! 796 00:41:46,673 --> 00:41:48,299 What, why are you looking at me? 797 00:41:48,341 --> 00:41:50,385 - What'd I do? What'd I say? - Listen, Rebecca... 798 00:41:50,427 --> 00:41:52,554 I mean, Daisy. Listen, Daisy. 799 00:41:52,595 --> 00:41:53,847 I had nothing to do with your mom... 800 00:41:53,888 --> 00:41:55,265 - Mama. - What? 801 00:41:55,306 --> 00:41:58,685 Daddy. You already lost one child, 802 00:41:58,727 --> 00:42:01,062 and you almost lost another one. 803 00:42:02,188 --> 00:42:07,152 So now, the price of my love has doubled, 804 00:42:07,193 --> 00:42:10,030 and I demand to see it immediately. 805 00:42:11,740 --> 00:42:13,658 Are you fucking kidding me? Immediately! 806 00:42:19,706 --> 00:42:24,169 Summer felt like winter... 807 00:42:24,210 --> 00:42:27,422 How could you do that without talking to me first? 808 00:42:27,464 --> 00:42:29,591 What? Oh, yes. 809 00:42:32,969 --> 00:42:34,679 What were you thinking? 810 00:42:34,721 --> 00:42:37,182 Someone had to do it. 811 00:42:37,223 --> 00:42:39,184 You're insane. 812 00:42:39,225 --> 00:42:41,853 We could have paid her off. This would all be over. 813 00:42:41,895 --> 00:42:43,813 Oh, don't be so naive. 814 00:42:43,855 --> 00:42:46,066 She would have just come back for more. 815 00:42:48,068 --> 00:42:51,696 Hey, Sheriff. Never meet your heroes, right? 816 00:42:54,115 --> 00:42:56,659 You spend years planning your wife's murder 817 00:42:56,701 --> 00:42:59,496 to get shafted by a fucking day player. 818 00:42:59,537 --> 00:43:01,456 I will shove that peanut butter 819 00:43:01,498 --> 00:43:05,210 down that Juilliard bitch's throat if I have to. 820 00:43:05,251 --> 00:43:07,712 No. Okay, look, that's it. 821 00:43:07,754 --> 00:43:09,631 We're going to pay her off, all right? 822 00:43:09,673 --> 00:43:11,216 I'm going to call my business manager. 823 00:43:11,257 --> 00:43:13,385 He is going to have a fit. 824 00:43:13,426 --> 00:43:16,388 Michael, what the fuck is that? 825 00:43:16,429 --> 00:43:17,764 What? 826 00:43:18,890 --> 00:43:20,475 What in the hell? 827 00:43:23,436 --> 00:43:26,147 Oh, shit. 828 00:43:32,612 --> 00:43:34,531 We're fucked. 829 00:43:34,572 --> 00:43:36,533 They heard everything. 830 00:43:38,284 --> 00:43:39,786 What do I do now? 831 00:43:43,456 --> 00:43:44,791 We use it. 832 00:43:46,209 --> 00:43:47,711 Showtime, baby. 833 00:43:51,798 --> 00:43:54,592 I used to wait for that parade every year. 834 00:43:55,260 --> 00:43:56,970 Independence Day. 835 00:43:58,346 --> 00:44:01,182 For who? From what? 836 00:44:01,224 --> 00:44:04,477 Bobby's real daddy went down over the Sea of Japan. 837 00:44:05,562 --> 00:44:08,189 July 12th, 1952. 838 00:44:09,649 --> 00:44:11,234 An aviator. 839 00:44:12,652 --> 00:44:15,488 Why did you take Bobby? 840 00:44:15,530 --> 00:44:18,366 He was better than me in every way! 841 00:44:20,118 --> 00:44:23,621 It was cold in Pensacola that winter. 842 00:44:24,497 --> 00:44:26,666 Unnatural cold. 843 00:44:26,708 --> 00:44:29,461 Frost that comes too early 844 00:44:29,502 --> 00:44:33,465 means to stay too long, maybe forever. 845 00:44:33,506 --> 00:44:36,051 The mists rise up. 846 00:44:36,092 --> 00:44:39,679 They cover your ankles, then your waist. 847 00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:44,559 The sea longs to reach the clouds. 848 00:44:46,186 --> 00:44:49,814 Mother and child reachin' out for each other. 849 00:44:49,856 --> 00:44:52,525 When my sweet Bobby went up, 850 00:44:53,693 --> 00:44:56,363 he always took me with him. 851 00:44:56,404 --> 00:44:58,907 And so it follows that that day, 852 00:45:00,033 --> 00:45:01,659 I, too, went down. 853 00:45:03,370 --> 00:45:05,580 That cold winter. 854 00:45:07,332 --> 00:45:09,459 This winter. 855 00:45:09,501 --> 00:45:12,170 The mists up to the lashline. 856 00:45:13,546 --> 00:45:17,759 Ice on the wing is mist on the ground, is tears. 857 00:45:18,593 --> 00:45:22,889 The mist rises up, and I kneel down to meet it. 858 00:45:26,267 --> 00:45:29,270 And so now I, too, become 859 00:45:30,230 --> 00:45:31,940 just another ghost 860 00:45:37,737 --> 00:45:39,197 of Pensacola. 861 00:45:43,410 --> 00:45:44,494 Bravo! 862 00:45:44,536 --> 00:45:46,329 Bravo! 61406

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