All language subtitles for Frasier.2023.S01E01.WEB.x264-TG

Frasier!

Corny!

Welcome
back to Boston.

My God, you haven't aged a day.

And you...

Well, thanks for
coming to pick me up.

My pleasure.

How was your father's funeral?

Emotional, but it
was a good sendoff.

He'll be missed.

- Of course. My condolences.
- Thank you.

Weren't you traveling with your
nephew? Niles and Daphne's son?

Yes, yes, he should
be along any minute.

Sorry for the delay,
Uncle Frasier.

I took a sleeping pill on
the flight for my anxiety

and I had to balance it out
with three shots of espresso.

So, I am feeling...

amazing, I am feeling so good.

David, I'd like you
to meet Alan Cornwall.

Alan, meet my nephew David.

Alan is an old pal of
mine from my Oxford days

and the professor who wrote
your recommendation to Harvard.

Well met, David.

How have your first few
weeks at school been?

A little rocky, to be honest.

Well, chin up.

You can't be doing any
worse than this one poor kid

in my Intro to Psych class.

On day one, in front
of 300 students,

he runs in late, trips,

spills coffee all
down his white shirt,

and then he loses a shoe
that we still haven't found.

Yeah, look. Look at this dolt.

So, lots of changes
in your life.

Still can't believe
how big TV personality

Frasier Crane walks
away from his talk show.

It was time. I told them,

"Get off your
knees, stop begging,

I'm already out the door."

- And things with Charlotte?
- She told me the same thing.

But it was for the best.

After 20 years in Chicago,

it was time for George
Bailey to get that old bag

out of the closet
and see the world.

- Ah.
- Ubp, ubp, ubp.

Let me, Uncle.

Sorry.

Here.

Oh!

I don't have the heart to tell
him that's not my luggage.

Oh, gosh, I could
sure use a breve latte

before we hit the road.

- Excuse me? Frasier Crane?
- Yes?

Sir, I know it's exciting to
see a celebrity like my uncle,

but I beg you for
a little privacy.

He just had a very
exhausting trip.

Look how haggard he is.

Don't worry, I have
an eidetic memory.

So you tell me your address,

and I'll make sure you
get an autographed photo.

I don't know either of you.

He dropped his wallet
and I saw the license.

Oh, good Lord. Oh, thank
you. Thank you so much.

- Sorry about that, Uncle.
- Oh, forget it.

I can't. Eidetic memory.

I'll get the coffee.

He's fun.

I'm so pleased
you finally agreed

to come and guest
lecture my class.

Oh, it was my pleasure.

Plus, I wanted to stop
in and check on my son.

Well, didn't you just
see Freddy in Seattle?

Ugh, you Americans and
your ghastly attachments

to your children.

No, no, he didn't make
it to the funeral.

Some sort of a work emergency.

And how are things
between you two?

I remember how tense it was
when he dropped out of Harvard.

All these years later,
I still don't get it.

But he's forging his own
path and I support that.

And I believe you.

Now, look, now we're both liars.

Come on.

Oh, thank you.

Hey, can I help you?

Freddy! Surprise!

Dad. You're... at my door.

Unannounced.

You know, there's a
shorter way to say that.

"Surprise!"

I'm in town for a guest lecture,

I wanted to say hello.

Oh, great.

Hello.

Okay.

Yes, thank you, I'd
love to come in.

So...

Your place is so...

Damn, when I started
that sentence

I thought I'd
think of something.

Yeah, sorry. The
Picasso's getting reframed

and the whole second
floor's in the shop.

You know, you have your mother's
sense of humor, Frederick.

No, no, it's-it's charming,

it reminds me of the sort
of place one would...

wrestle a cartoon rat
for a crust of bread.

There it is.

Your subtle reminder
I'd make more money

if I wasn't just a firefighter.

No, no, I admire what you do.

It's a noble profession,
it's just that...

you did so well in your
psych classes at Harvard.

Right, but I wanted to
do something important.

What I do is important.

It's at least as
important as what you do.

Okay, sure, let's find someone

who has low self-esteem
and is also on fire,

and see which one of
us they run to first.

There's that
mother of yours again.

Sorry.

No, I'm sorry.

We missed you at the funeral.

And, um...

I brought you something.

I think your grandfather
would've wanted you to have it.

Oh, cool. Thanks.

I'll open it later.

Later? Well, I know he's not

waiting for a thank-you
note, but still.

Freddy, can you turn down
your dad's TV show, it's r...

Oh!

It's a live show.

Wow. Hi.

I don't need to be
told who you are.

I wish I could say the same.

Oh, I'm sorry, I'm Eve.

I'm sure Freddy's
told you all about me.

I have a funny anecdote
about that: no, he has not.

Didn't know you
had a girlfriend,

let alone one who'd
moved in with you.

- Oh, we...
- We've been caught up

in the, you know,
whirlwind romance.

You know how that is.

Anyway, Dad, so good to see you.

What? Well, hold on,

why don't I get you guys a
cup of coffee or something,

or even dinner? I mean, we've
got a lot to catch up on.

Oh, sure, yeah, let's see.

Uh, I got a new
pair of sneakers,

hit a triple in softball,

and I realized I
just don't get jazz.

Anyway, now you're
all caught up.

Freddy. I'm leaving
for Paris tomorrow.

Can't you just spare
me half an hour?

Dad, I wish I could.

But Eve's got a double shift,
I got a crazy week at work...

How do you know?

Are they scheduling the
fires in advance now?

Dad, it's just... It's
just not a good time.

All right, well...

I'll see you next time.

You know, I am still
not used to you

calling me your girlfriend.

Do you know why?

Because you're
not my girlfriend?

Because I'm not your girlfriend.

I'm sorry for roping
you in like that,

it's just I didn't
feel like explaining

our whole situation
to my dad, he...

And I-I love the guy,
but he can be kind of...

Ugh!

So, he doesn't know about John?

He does not know about John.

Thank God I got him out
of here fast enough.

He smelled really good, though.

Yeah, he always
smells really good.

Thank you. Gosh, that
was exhilarating.

That was great, Uncle Frasier.

That's right. Uncle Frasier.

He's my uncle.

He's right, you know.

I've rarely seen these
students so engaged.

Then again, I've rarely
seen these students.

I really should pop
into class more often.

- Oh, no.
- What? What? Who's that?

It's our department
head Olivia Finch.

Brilliant scholar, but
an absolute terror.

Cold. Disengaged. Narcissistic.

She's called me
all those things.

She sounds dreadful.

Dr. Crane, you
are a true legend.

And yet there's something
about her I just like.

- Olivia Finch.
- Hello.

Mm, if I may be so bold,

I'd like to skip
straight to the point.

Every morning, I
wake up and I think,

"How can I make this
department better?"

And since I can't fire Alan...

Tenure!

The next best thing would be to
have you teach here permanently.

Wow, uh, uh...

That is a tempting offer...

- So it's a yes!
- But I have plans in Paris.

- So it's a maybe.
- I leave in the morning.

So it's a soft maybe.

You see, I-I'm starting
research on my next book,

The Lost Manuscripts
of Marivaux.

- Marivaux?
- Mm.

You know, if you're interested
in obscure Europeans

who haven't been
published in 300 years,

you should just stay
here and study Alan.

I'm not going to stand
here and let you insult me.

I insist you do it over drinks.

To the bar?

- Don't you have a class right now?
- Probably.

Tenure.

What is it about
the city of Boston

that leads me to forego
the more sophisticated

temptation of the
fermented grape?

Sitting here, with a
cold brew in my hand,

I feel... amalgamated
with the hoi polloi.

You are the classic everyman.

How does it feel
being back in Boston?

Mixed emotions, honestly.

I'm not sure I was
ever my best self here.

I may have spent a
little too much time...

at a certain bar.

- Dr. Crane?
- Hmm?

I was in your lecture.
It was life-changing.

I was going to be a dance major,

but now I'm switching to
pre-med to be a psychiatrist.

Well, I thank you.

And I'm certain your
parents will thank me.

Apologies, Frasier.

The worst thing about
teaching are the students.

No, no, that was lovely, I...

Why is it I am able to connect
with all those young people,

yet it's impossible
with my own son?

Oh, what's going
on with your son?

Well, I wish I knew.

He missed his
grandfather's funeral,

he's got a girlfriend
I've never even heard of,

and when I told him
I wanted to spend

more time with him, he said no.

Have you considered
that he hates you?

You mustn't give up.

As they say, a no is just
a yes in a trench coat.

Who says that?

It's an American thing.

All I'm trying to say is

you cannot take
no for an answer.

The door is never firmly shut.

You will connect with your son,

and I will get you
to teach at Harvard.

I'm not teaching at Harvard.
I'm getting on a plane tomorrow.

We'll see.

You know, from the
wreckage of your logic,

I am pulling a thread of wisdom.

I could buy a couple of
steaks, a bottle of Scotch,

stop by, and we'll
hash things out.

He'll be alone.

C'est l'occasion parfait
pour un tête-à-tête.

Another brewski
for the everyman.

I'll get it.

My God, he'd be such an
asset to our department.

He would draw more students,
which would mean more funding,

which would set me on
track to being provost

one year younger than my
sister became provost at Yale!

My God, you're tightly
wound, aren't you?

When was the last time
you had a... date?

Some of us care about
our careers, Alan.

- So it's been...?
- Men are afraid of smart women.

It would be nice to have my old
friend back in town, though.

But he's leaving tomorrow

and tonight he's having
dinner with his son.

Damn it, why do family
always get in the way

of the important things in life?

- Here we are.
- Mm.

Well, what happened
to the beers?

Sherry saw me.

I can't say no to her.

Cheers.

This is bad sherry.

Freddy, tonight I am cooking
you a five-star meal,

and I won't take
no for an answer.

Would you take "not now"?

Please, I miss you. I'd like
to spend some time with you.

You know, I have a Kagoshima
A5, decadently marbled,

bursting with umami in
a retronasal symphony.

Steaks. I have steaks.

Damn it, I love steaks.
Sure, come on in.

Great. A one-on-one
dinner with my son.

Hey, fam!

David, what are you doing here?

I thought it'd be
a fun surprise.

David, you can't just
barge in here unexpectedly.

It's incredibly...
thoughtful of you.

So, this is your place.

So cool.

You ever kiss a girl in here?

Uh, David, do
you think Freddy and I

could just have
an evening alone?

I-I, we really need a deep
dive into our relationship.

Or we could stay in the
shallows, with David.

Welcome, cuz.

"Cuz"? You gave me a nickname?

It's happening, David.

Be cool.

Well, dinner for three, then.

Room for two more?

Oh, for the love of God!

Well, we thought
we'd help you cook

so you could have more
time with your son.

Oh, that is...

Actually, that's quite
helpful. Thank you.

And if it comes up organically,

we can chat about how
Harvard professors

have access to the world's
preeminent research library.

You also get a T.A.

I use mine to walk my cat.

Good God, Macallan 25?

This can cost
thousands a bottle.

I can't let you waste it on
people who won't appreciate it.

No, no, come on, come on.

I know a lovely little bridge
we can drink this under.

Freddy, you remember Alan, of
course, and this is Olivia.

They're going to help us
with dinner this evening.

- Hi.
- Freddy.

You're a firefighter.

Where do I buy the
calendar?

I heard about your grandfather.
I'm so sorry for your loss.

Not exactly the
evening I'd envisioned,

but I promise you this,
no more unexpected guests.

Hey, guys.

Okay, that one's not mine.

Eve. You're home earlier
than we expected you to be.

Dad, will just
give me one second?

I don't get it.

Why is Frederick
acting so strangely?

Maybe I can help
you, Uncle Frasier.

Be the Watson to your Sherlock.

That's very
kind of you, David.

You know, you remind
me of your mother.

Perpetually optimistic.
Always seeing the...

Do you have to put in eye drops

right as we're
having a nice moment?

You can't tell me it's
not Sahara dry in here.

Now you remind me
of your father.

I know, I'm sorry,
this is weird,

but would you please keep
pretending to be my girlfriend?

So, I'm just supposed to lie
about who I am all night?

Look, I know it's
a lot to ask...

No, I love it.

As an actor, creating
characters is what I do.

- Ooh, maybe I gives myself an accent.
- No.

Let's... Let's just
otherwise stick to the truth.

- You're a waitress.
- But we're dating.

- Right.
- Got it.

So, what do we do about John?

Right, the baby.

Uh, he can't just
hang out on the stoop?

He can't just hang
out on the stoop!

Come, Watson. The game's afoot.

Let us canvass the
area for clues.

To... Ah.

What's this?

A bedsheet?

On a couch?

Did they have a fight?

Is there trouble in paradise?

Uncle Frasier, look.

Cheerios!

Not only is he
sleeping on the couch,

he's also eating dry cereal
like some sort of an infant.

See, David, this is why we
can't let a single detail

escape our notice.

Observe, if you will, the linear
pattern of these Cheerios.

Dr. Crane?

Does anyone have
any food allergies?

Oh, do I?

Here, I have a laminated card.

The ones in red are fatal.

Eve, any allergies?

No.

That girl out there,
Freddy's girlfriend.

There's something about her.

She doesn't seem
all that special to me.

No, I mean she looks familiar.

- Was she in one of your classes?
- Possible.

Doesn't explain why
she looks familiar.

Can we focus for just a moment?

We are here tonight for one
reason and one reason only.

To drink the Macallan 25.

To convince Dr. Crane
to teach at Harvard.

Finally, Freddy, we have
a chance to talk a bit.

Dr. Crane? Could you join
us in the kitchen please?

I have a question
about the steaks.

Excuse me.

What about the steaks?

They could not be higher.

With your help, we could turn
the Harvard Psyche Department

into the Harvard of
psyche departments.

We are not having
this discussion.

Please just help
me with the dinner.

Mm.

Oh, Freddy, finally
we have a chance...

We know you've been eating
breakfast on the floor!

What we don't know is why!

David, perhaps you could be
of some help in the kitchen.

Thank you.

So, Freddy...

Dr. Cornwall said no.

That British wit.

All right, great.

Say, how about some Macallan?

Not right now, thanks.

Eve, why don't you
tell me about yourself.

What do you do for a living?

Uh, I'm a private investigator.

Oh, my. That sounds fascinating.

Do you specialize in
any particular area?

Heartbreak.

There's 10,000
tales in this city

and I've heard 'em all.

This one skirt
knocked on my door.

She had six-inch heels
and a four-inch scar...

You know what?
Drinking sounds great.

- Where's that Macallan?
- Oh, thank you, Alan.

Oh, too much?

Not enough?

I have a fake gun in the
bedroom if we need it.

W-What? No. What?

What we need is
to speed this up.

John can wake up any second.

Dad, ugh, I think we're
gonna have to cut this short.

Eve was just telling me
she doesn't feel very well.

See? She sounds terrible.

I mean, I think we
should call it a night.

- But we haven't eaten yet.
- Just opened the Macallan.

I'm gonna check on the baby.

Dad, I'll be, uh,
I'll be right back.

I'm no stranger to an
underperforming dinner party.

But I had high hopes.

I know something's going on.

I just wish Freddy and
I were close enough

that he would trust me.

I, uh...

guess that's just
the way things are

between fathers and sons.

I'll tell them to wrap
things up in the kitchen.

We'll be on our way soon.

- Dr. Crane, uh...
- Yes?

Freddy wouldn't want me
to tell you this, but...

you have raised
one heck of a son.

He's smart and strong and brave.

He's always been there for us.

Would you excuse me a moment?

Eve said "us."

She said "Freddy's always
been there for us."

What do you suppose that means?

Eve! Yes, that's her name.

I thought I knew that girl.

She works down at the bar.

- She does?
- Indeed, yeah.

I believe she's also just
had a baby with some fireman.

Oh.

Oh...

They have a child.

Freddy must have gotten
in over his head,

and he was too
ashamed to tell me.

That's why he wants
to get rid of me.

I'm... I'm a grandfather.

I always wanted
to be a grandfather. Gosh...

Why wouldn't he just
tell me the truth?

Mm. Maybe you should
just talk to him.

Maybe. Or...

I could let them
twist in the wind

with their little lie.

Possibly provide a
few gusts of my own

to further entangle
them in their deception.

And when they're finally
dripping in deceit,

I'll pounce!

- That's your plan?
- It's a great plan.

He's starting to wake up.

So, tell me, you two...

now that you're
living together...

any thoughts about progeny?

- The band?
- Kids?

I don't think we're...

ready for kids just yet, Dad.

You're both in your
30s. Clock's ticking.

Ticktock.

I'm 28, but thanks for that.

Ah, 28.

That's awfully young for
a private investigator.

Well, perhaps you could
help me solve a case.

The case of the baby
who wasn't there.

Or was he?

It might be a she.

Dad...

I demand to see my grandchild.

Whoa, okay. Uh, "grandchild"?

Uh, look, Dad, no one is
hiding a grandchild from you.

Okay, a-and I resent
that accusation.

- Dad, I've decided to tell you something.
- Mm.

So it's true.

You wanted me out of
your life so badly

you didn't want to tell
me about your girlfriend

or your child.

No. That's not it, at all.

Eve's not my girlfriend,
she's my roommate.

Yes!

And the baby's hers, not mine.

And we're just living
together to save money.

The life of a P.I. might sound
glamorous, but the harsh...

Eve.

Why didn't you just
tell me the truth?

If you're short of cash, I
could just give you some money.

Here we go.

And, also, what did you expect

dropping out of Harvard?

This is why I didn't tell you.

Because I knew
you'd just judge me

and tell me how I should
be living my life.

And I've had enough of that.

A toast to the new baby.

What the hell's going on?

Why are you suddenly
blocking me out of your life?

Why are you suddenly trying
to be a part of my life?

What is that supposed to mean?

Means we haven't been
close in a long time, Dad.

Let's just accept that.

I'm never gonna be the person
that you wanted me to be,

and you're never
gonna understand

why I don't want
to be that person.

We just...

We have different values.

Boy...

that much is certain.

What's that supposed to mean?

You missed your
grandfather's funeral.

He had everything planned
to the last detail.

And you missed it!

The police send-off.

Daphne's toast.

Bulldog's "Ave Maria."

What possible
excuse can you have

for not being there
with your family?

I don't have one.

I-I was about to
get on the plane

and then I was thinking
about Grandpa and I...

and I just couldn't do it.

You remember when my buddy
died in a fire downtown?

Yes, of course. Horrible.

Yeah, well, we were more
like brothers t-than friends

and I was friends with his
girlfriend, too, and...

they were about to have a kid.

Eve and her baby.

I was just so angry.

You know, why him and not
me? He has a family and...

I know, it's...

textbook survivor
guilt, but I, uh...

I was in a bad place.

Well, why didn't
you reach out to me?

I've always told you, you can
call and talk to me anytime.

Grandpa got on a plane.

He flew out to see me and we...

We talked about some friends
that he'd lost on the force

and how he'd gotten
through it, and I just...

I didn't feel alone anymore.

You felt alone.

You know, why don't
we open that gift.

"This flag was flown
over the state capitol

"in honor of
Detective Martin Crane

"for his service to the nation

and his beloved
city of Seattle."

I'm gonna miss him.

Me, too.

He was a hell of a guy.

Tough act to follow.

If there's anything I've
ever wanted to be in life,

more than anything else,

it's to be a good father.

Sorry I let you down.

I promise I'll do better.

Thanks, Dad.

Hey. What's with the champagne?

We are celebrating. I've
taken a job at Harvard

and I found a place to live.

- Amazing. Good for you.
- Oh, so you're actually staying?

That's terrific.

And even better, it's
not too far from here.

- Wow, really?
- Even more terrific.

Yes, yes. Come on, it's a
short walk, I'll show you.

We can toast my new apartment.

Now, let me see.

Got to get this right. We...

step out the door,

there's a short walk,
yes, and here we are.

Come on in.
Furniture's on the way.

Not bad, eh?

You're renting the
apartment next to mine?

Renting? No, no, I bought
the whole building.

What? How?

With money, Frederick,
lots and lots of money.

Okay, uh, I'm starting to have
some serious doubts about this.

I understand, I understand,
but this will be good.

For the both of us.

I-I don't know...

That's the spirit.

And I don't want a silly
hallway separating us,

that's why Eve and John are
going to live in that apartment

and you are going to
live in this one with me.

- What?
- I kind of love the way things are.

No, I-I don't think so.

If you both agree
to this arrangement,

you can live here rent-free.

- You have a deal, we both agree.
- Still a no.

Come on, let's look around.

We don't agree.

We don't agree!

It all works out.

Y'all
know how this goes.

♪ Hey, baby, I hear
the blues a-callin' ♪

♪

♪ And maybe I seem
a bit confused ♪

♪ Yeah, maybe, but
I got you pegged ♪

♪ But I don't know what to do ♪

♪ With those tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪

♪ Life's callin' again ♪

♪ Beantown, we do
love you madly ♪

Good night, Boston!

Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org