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1
00:02:04,787 --> 00:02:05,891
Please sir!
2
00:02:05,926 --> 00:02:07,653
For pity's sake,
she's our only child!
3
00:02:07,686 --> 00:02:08,723
Have mercy!
4
00:02:08,757 --> 00:02:11,759
There is no mercy
for the undead.
5
00:02:26,292 --> 00:02:28,569
Honey, are you ok?
6
00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:34,230
Yeah. Just uh, a bad dream.
7
00:02:34,265 --> 00:02:36,991
Sounds like a real doozy.
You want to talk about it?
8
00:02:38,649 --> 00:02:40,754
No, I'll be fine.
9
00:02:45,414 --> 00:02:47,278
I'm gonna go check on Anastasia.
10
00:02:47,795 --> 00:02:49,487
- Yeah.
- Okay.
11
00:03:02,673 --> 00:03:06,020
Oh... Ok.
12
00:03:12,614 --> 00:03:14,823
Anna-banana?
It's still daylight.
13
00:03:15,754 --> 00:03:17,618
Put your phone away
and get some shut eye.
14
00:03:17,653 --> 00:03:19,033
You've got a busy night ahead.
15
00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:20,312
Yes, Daddy.
16
00:03:27,042 --> 00:03:30,045
Phone off. That's
twice you're busted.
17
00:03:57,002 --> 00:04:01,387
Ah, shit. Blood suckers.
18
00:04:07,566 --> 00:04:09,843
Better watch it you don't end up
19
00:04:09,877 --> 00:04:12,052
staking yourself in
the heart there, Count.
20
00:04:12,086 --> 00:04:14,711
Oh, I'm not a Count.
Chuck Belasko.
21
00:04:15,538 --> 00:04:16,850
Doug Roach.
22
00:04:18,127 --> 00:04:20,648
Vampire Americans, am I right?
23
00:04:20,682 --> 00:04:22,684
Yeah, you betcha.
How'd you guess?
24
00:04:23,375 --> 00:04:24,858
You're shitting me, right?
25
00:04:24,893 --> 00:04:30,382
I mean, you got the map of
Transylvania plastered all over your faces.
26
00:04:30,726 --> 00:04:33,143
If you wouldn't mind
cooling it on the yard work?
27
00:04:33,177 --> 00:04:36,870
Yeah, sorry, I guess
I lost track of time.
28
00:04:38,182 --> 00:04:40,805
Didn't lose track so much as
you were following the rules.
29
00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:44,774
Like the one that says your kind
sleep in coffins during the day.
30
00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:47,156
During the sunlight
hours, that's correct.
31
00:04:47,191 --> 00:04:49,918
Because if the sunlight
hits ya, you melt.
32
00:04:49,951 --> 00:04:52,887
Decompose into a
miasma putrid decay.
33
00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:53,853
Also correct.
34
00:04:53,887 --> 00:04:56,165
My wife lost her
favorite uncle that way.
35
00:04:56,199 --> 00:04:59,824
Made a slight miscalculation
during daylight savings and uh-
36
00:04:59,858 --> 00:05:01,067
I don't give a shit.
37
00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:04,485
Oh, yeah. Speaking of the
missus, this is my wife, Helena.
38
00:05:06,728 --> 00:05:07,694
Countess?
39
00:05:07,728 --> 00:05:08,523
Professor.
40
00:05:08,557 --> 00:05:09,810
Helena and I
teach night classes.
41
00:05:09,834 --> 00:05:10,904
At Horlicks.
42
00:05:10,939 --> 00:05:12,630
- Yeah, department of...
- Zoology.
43
00:05:18,499 --> 00:05:21,846
Oh yes, this is our own little
ray of moonlight, Anastasia.
44
00:05:22,502 --> 00:05:23,779
Goes by Anna. Anna-banana.
45
00:05:26,127 --> 00:05:27,127
Alex...
46
00:05:30,855 --> 00:05:31,995
Mind your own.
47
00:05:32,615 --> 00:05:33,651
Alright, well it was...
48
00:05:56,156 --> 00:05:57,158
Well, chin up.
49
00:05:58,124 --> 00:05:59,764
He'll come around
once he gets to know us.
50
00:05:59,918 --> 00:06:02,543
After all, we're the Belaskos.
51
00:06:02,576 --> 00:06:03,577
- Yes, we are.
- Mmmhmm.
52
00:06:03,612 --> 00:06:05,511
Bring it in for a family
cheer. A little pound.
53
00:06:05,925 --> 00:06:07,444
- Bring it in.
- Yes.
54
00:06:07,478 --> 00:06:08,687
- Ok.
- Here it comes.
55
00:06:30,086 --> 00:06:31,088
Here we go.
56
00:06:32,606 --> 00:06:35,023
Look who is up.
57
00:06:36,161 --> 00:06:37,887
Good evening, sleepy head.
58
00:06:53,317 --> 00:06:59,254
So, there is a 24-hour gym
less than a mile from here.
59
00:06:59,288 --> 00:07:01,980
I was wondering if it
would be alright if I joined?
60
00:07:02,016 --> 00:07:04,189
I can pay for it myself
with my babysitting stash.
61
00:07:04,225 --> 00:07:05,225
Not yet.
62
00:07:05,744 --> 00:07:07,297
We don't want you venturing off
63
00:07:07,331 --> 00:07:09,817
until we get a proper
feel for the neighborhood.
64
00:07:10,161 --> 00:07:11,656
Then what am I
supposed to do all night
65
00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:12,726
while you guys are at work?
66
00:07:12,750 --> 00:07:14,235
Well you've got
your lesson plans.
67
00:07:14,269 --> 00:07:16,730
Not to mention that phone that
you've got grafted to your hand.
68
00:07:16,754 --> 00:07:19,240
You guys swore that
Mapleton would be different.
69
00:07:19,274 --> 00:07:20,206
It is different.
70
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,622
This is a fully
integrated neighborhood.
71
00:07:22,656 --> 00:07:26,108
So was the last one. I
fucking hate being undead.
72
00:07:26,143 --> 00:07:27,973
That is a little dramatic.
73
00:07:28,007 --> 00:07:29,112
And it'll cost you a buck.
74
00:07:29,146 --> 00:07:31,976
That's one diddly-dollar
in the cuss jar, young lady.
75
00:07:38,223 --> 00:07:39,985
Mm, where do you
think you're going?
76
00:07:41,088 --> 00:07:44,713
Take a wild guess.
Fucking nowhere.
77
00:07:47,026 --> 00:07:49,581
My. Someone slept on
the wrong side of the coffin.
78
00:09:08,866 --> 00:09:09,866
Oh shit!
79
00:09:26,159 --> 00:09:27,955
Oh my god, oh my god!
Don't fucking kill me!
80
00:09:27,989 --> 00:09:28,749
I fucking won't!
81
00:09:28,783 --> 00:09:30,957
Jesus, dude! Take a chill pill.
82
00:09:31,716 --> 00:09:33,684
What are you even
doing over here?
83
00:09:33,719 --> 00:09:35,721
Well, I saw you
up on the roof...
84
00:09:35,755 --> 00:09:37,722
Yeah. Yeah, I know. I heard you.
85
00:09:37,758 --> 00:09:38,861
You did?
86
00:09:38,897 --> 00:09:42,210
Yeah. I hear everything,
whether I want to or not.
87
00:09:44,109 --> 00:09:45,662
You're like a
goddamn super hero.
88
00:09:45,697 --> 00:09:48,975
Nope, just a girl. Anna.
89
00:09:50,217 --> 00:09:51,254
I'm Alex.
90
00:09:53,118 --> 00:09:54,636
Do you mind?
91
00:09:54,981 --> 00:09:56,327
Oh, yeah. Here.
92
00:09:57,086 --> 00:09:58,087
Thanks.
93
00:09:59,883 --> 00:10:02,230
It's, uh, nice to see a
friendly face, for once.
94
00:10:02,264 --> 00:10:06,200
Yeah. But it's not gonna be
the last once school starts up.
95
00:10:06,234 --> 00:10:08,442
Oh, it won't for me.
I'm home-schooled.
96
00:10:08,477 --> 00:10:10,791
Oh, because of the
whole sunlight thing.
97
00:10:11,964 --> 00:10:13,447
I'm a night owl myself.
98
00:10:13,482 --> 00:10:15,967
I could give you a midnight
tour of the neighborhood
99
00:10:16,003 --> 00:10:17,245
if you're up for it.
100
00:10:18,177 --> 00:10:19,730
Wouldn't your father disapprove?
101
00:10:19,764 --> 00:10:20,764
One hundred percent.
102
00:10:21,215 --> 00:10:22,941
- What about yours?
- One hundred percent.
103
00:10:30,258 --> 00:10:33,296
So, I'm not totally
clear on the rules.
104
00:10:33,813 --> 00:10:35,263
Are you aloud to have ice cream?
105
00:10:36,264 --> 00:10:38,231
Yeah. Yeah, when
I'm in the mood for it.
106
00:10:38,265 --> 00:10:39,265
That's good.
107
00:10:40,371 --> 00:10:44,445
Well, uh, Molly's
floats are to die for.
108
00:10:45,860 --> 00:10:47,517
Oh, fuck! Shit! I'm
not trying to say...
109
00:10:47,551 --> 00:10:50,037
No, it's okay, Alex. I
know what you mean.
110
00:10:50,485 --> 00:10:52,107
And it's no worries, you know?
111
00:10:52,142 --> 00:10:55,870
A Belasko hasn't drank
human blood in over a century.
112
00:10:55,904 --> 00:11:00,219
Not to mention that it's
illegal and totally disgusting.
113
00:11:00,254 --> 00:11:01,461
Good to know.
114
00:11:02,774 --> 00:11:06,708
They're open late on Saturdays,
so maybe we could go after dark?
115
00:11:08,951 --> 00:11:10,989
Yeah. Maybe not.
116
00:11:12,956 --> 00:11:16,510
Small town peeps
can be a little dickish.
117
00:11:17,167 --> 00:11:19,825
Yeah. Big town peeps can too.
118
00:11:22,863 --> 00:11:25,072
I swear, I just
want to fly away.
119
00:11:25,105 --> 00:11:26,900
Run away where
they'll never find me.
120
00:11:27,902 --> 00:11:29,421
Yeah, take me with you.
121
00:11:30,352 --> 00:11:31,354
Deal.
122
00:11:41,259 --> 00:11:44,884
So, this is the last
stop on the tour.
123
00:11:44,918 --> 00:11:47,750
Mapleton's version
of Disneyland.
124
00:11:48,923 --> 00:11:51,788
Uh, I'm about
it. Yeah, I like it.
125
00:11:51,822 --> 00:11:54,480
My mom, she used
to take me here.
126
00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:57,863
Yeah, I lost her when
I was seven, but...
127
00:11:58,243 --> 00:11:59,899
Oh, Alex. I'm so sorry.
128
00:12:00,624 --> 00:12:01,866
How?
129
00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:03,903
She had a back ticker.
130
00:12:05,595 --> 00:12:08,562
You, you're lucky that you
never have to lose a parent.
131
00:12:09,633 --> 00:12:11,427
Alex, that's a myth.
132
00:12:12,221 --> 00:12:15,052
We die too, it just
takes us a little bit longer.
133
00:12:32,414 --> 00:12:33,415
Oh no, don't!
134
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,177
Please don't.
135
00:12:36,211 --> 00:12:38,317
I don't really come
out in pictures, it's...
136
00:12:38,351 --> 00:12:40,802
That's uh... that's tragic.
137
00:12:41,907 --> 00:12:43,908
I'll tell you what.
I'll be your mirror.
138
00:12:45,393 --> 00:12:46,360
Oh yeah?
139
00:12:46,394 --> 00:12:47,394
Yeah.
140
00:12:47,947 --> 00:12:50,121
Ok. How do I look?
141
00:12:54,298 --> 00:12:56,818
Well you look scalding.
142
00:13:00,269 --> 00:13:01,513
You up for a free ride?
143
00:13:02,445 --> 00:13:03,445
Yeah.
144
00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:06,379
Hold on, it goes
really extremely fast.
145
00:13:06,413 --> 00:13:07,621
Okay.
146
00:13:13,421 --> 00:13:16,078
Well, I kind of feel
like a wimp now.
147
00:13:16,596 --> 00:13:18,356
Hold onto your
vagina. I got this.
148
00:13:19,254 --> 00:13:20,912
- Hop on.
- Ok, alright.
149
00:13:21,567 --> 00:13:24,398
Yeah.
150
00:14:09,961 --> 00:14:11,168
What's with Anna-banana?
151
00:14:11,202 --> 00:14:12,687
She's been skipping
breakfast lately.
152
00:14:13,135 --> 00:14:13,999
Hm.
153
00:14:14,033 --> 00:14:15,000
She watching her waist?
154
00:14:15,034 --> 00:14:16,450
More like the boy next door.
155
00:14:17,174 --> 00:14:18,140
The roach kid?
156
00:14:18,176 --> 00:14:20,661
Mmhmm. That scares me.
157
00:14:22,283 --> 00:14:24,043
What's so scary about love?
158
00:14:28,254 --> 00:14:29,912
It's not love
that I'm afraid of.
159
00:14:31,602 --> 00:14:33,086
They're never gonna
accept us, Chuck.
160
00:14:33,121 --> 00:14:34,951
No matter how
hard we try to fit in.
161
00:14:35,261 --> 00:14:37,022
Hate is thicker than blood.
162
00:14:43,062 --> 00:14:44,408
I might need to do it.
163
00:14:44,442 --> 00:14:46,687
Uh, woah, I think we just did.
164
00:14:46,721 --> 00:14:49,447
No, not that.
165
00:14:49,482 --> 00:14:53,211
I mean, the gift you know?
166
00:14:53,245 --> 00:14:55,971
I wanna... I wanna
become like you.
167
00:14:56,006 --> 00:14:57,422
You think it's a gift?
168
00:14:59,078 --> 00:15:00,389
To never see a sunrise?
169
00:15:00,424 --> 00:15:02,392
To be hunted and
persecuted wherever you go?
170
00:15:07,777 --> 00:15:10,227
If that's what it takes
to be yours, then yeah.
171
00:15:10,711 --> 00:15:12,298
You're already mine, dummy.
172
00:15:13,817 --> 00:15:16,198
We're just on
different time zones.
173
00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:23,102
You know that thing that
you were saying about,
174
00:15:23,136 --> 00:15:26,244
uh, like, running away?
175
00:15:27,347 --> 00:15:28,522
Were you serious?
176
00:15:28,556 --> 00:15:30,041
It's all I ever think about.
177
00:15:33,354 --> 00:15:35,149
Where would you go?
178
00:15:35,183 --> 00:15:36,288
Alaska.
179
00:15:36,599 --> 00:15:38,187
Why? What's in Alaska?
180
00:15:39,635 --> 00:15:41,673
Six months of continuous night.
181
00:15:43,707 --> 00:15:44,745
So there.
182
00:15:46,298 --> 00:15:48,506
And what would we do
for the other six months?
183
00:15:49,438 --> 00:15:52,062
We could hibernate.
Five times a day.
184
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:15,224
Dude, what the fuck?
What are you doing?
185
00:16:15,258 --> 00:16:17,191
Checking for hickies,
stupid. What do you think?
186
00:16:18,296 --> 00:16:19,227
Still got your junk down there
187
00:16:19,261 --> 00:16:20,721
or did your girlfriend
bite it off, huh?
188
00:16:20,745 --> 00:16:21,644
Sick.
189
00:16:21,677 --> 00:16:23,335
Me?
190
00:16:23,370 --> 00:16:26,821
I'm not the one playing hide
the salami with a walking corpse.
191
00:16:26,855 --> 00:16:30,687
Alex, son, you have no idea
what you are dealing with.
192
00:16:31,274 --> 00:16:32,758
Like you do?
193
00:16:32,793 --> 00:16:36,313
Yes, as a matter of fact I do.
194
00:16:36,347 --> 00:16:38,587
You know, I never told you
how your mother actually died.
195
00:16:43,251 --> 00:16:49,740
Ten years ago, she was
attacked by one of those things.
196
00:16:51,639 --> 00:16:54,504
All the blood drained
from her body.
197
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:01,201
But the nightmare
didn't end there, no sir.
198
00:17:02,615 --> 00:17:04,065
It was just the beginning.
199
00:17:06,757 --> 00:17:12,521
The night of her funeral,
your mother came home.
200
00:17:13,660 --> 00:17:18,458
Little boy, let me
in. Mommy's so cold.
201
00:17:19,597 --> 00:17:21,289
You know, I still see
her wearing the dress
202
00:17:21,324 --> 00:17:23,361
that we buried her in?
203
00:17:24,534 --> 00:17:28,606
She came for you,
Alex. Her only child.
204
00:17:30,436 --> 00:17:31,540
So...
205
00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:36,580
I did what any man would do
206
00:17:36,615 --> 00:17:39,376
and I drove a stake
through that thing's heart.
207
00:17:39,411 --> 00:17:40,273
You killed my mother?
208
00:17:40,308 --> 00:17:42,173
I released her!
209
00:17:48,179 --> 00:17:49,352
Open it.
210
00:17:56,601 --> 00:17:57,887
What am I supposed
to do with this?
211
00:17:57,912 --> 00:17:59,154
I think you know.
212
00:18:00,397 --> 00:18:03,470
You would be doing
that girl a favor.
213
00:18:03,884 --> 00:18:05,781
She does not want
to be the way she is.
214
00:18:05,817 --> 00:18:07,439
It is unnatural.
215
00:18:08,405 --> 00:18:10,924
There is no mercy
for the undead.
216
00:18:11,892 --> 00:18:15,722
Destroy her, son, or
someone else will do it for you.
217
00:18:16,551 --> 00:18:18,692
I'm not your fucking son.
218
00:18:29,392 --> 00:18:30,392
Doug Roach here.
219
00:18:31,704 --> 00:18:33,809
You up for a little
hunting excursion?
220
00:18:35,501 --> 00:18:38,780
Yeah, getting the
band back together.
221
00:18:39,747 --> 00:18:41,817
Just like old times.
222
00:18:42,923 --> 00:18:44,373
What are we gunning for?
223
00:18:45,994 --> 00:18:49,585
Leaches. And they're
looking to breed.
224
00:19:05,807 --> 00:19:07,189
Hello, darling.
225
00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:24,412
Anna!
226
00:19:25,309 --> 00:19:26,414
Anna!
227
00:19:31,695 --> 00:19:32,695
Fuck!
228
00:19:34,630 --> 00:19:36,665
Make some noise
when you do that, please.
229
00:19:36,701 --> 00:19:38,392
Boo. What is going on?
230
00:19:39,772 --> 00:19:42,637
It's my old man. Bad
shit is about to go down.
231
00:19:42,672 --> 00:19:45,710
We need to go now.
Tonight, like now.
232
00:19:45,743 --> 00:19:46,917
Alex, that's crazy.
233
00:19:46,951 --> 00:19:48,644
I can't just leave,
what about my parents?
234
00:19:48,677 --> 00:19:49,921
Oh, don't worry.
235
00:19:51,923 --> 00:19:53,476
We'll be visiting
them soon enough.
236
00:19:53,510 --> 00:19:54,650
How did you find us?
237
00:19:54,683 --> 00:19:56,824
There's a tracker on
your phone, stupid.
238
00:19:58,688 --> 00:19:59,964
Hey, get that out of her face
239
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,440
or I'll stick it up
your fucking ass!
240
00:20:01,587 --> 00:20:02,587
Alex!
241
00:20:02,933 --> 00:20:03,830
No!
242
00:20:03,865 --> 00:20:04,865
Alex!
243
00:20:06,006 --> 00:20:07,455
Now look what you did.
244
00:20:08,526 --> 00:20:10,631
Please, it doesn't
have to be this way.
245
00:20:11,114 --> 00:20:12,494
You can just let us be.
246
00:20:12,529 --> 00:20:15,084
Let you be? Why?
247
00:20:15,117 --> 00:20:17,535
So your kind can
pollute the world?
248
00:20:18,950 --> 00:20:21,020
Not on my watch, sweetie.
249
00:20:21,055 --> 00:20:24,990
We didn't start this war but
we sure as shit gonna end it.
250
00:20:27,855 --> 00:20:28,855
Hold still.
251
00:20:30,548 --> 00:20:31,617
I'll make this fast.
252
00:20:37,416 --> 00:20:39,833
She can't be far,
spread out. Spread out.
253
00:20:50,394 --> 00:20:51,809
You're all gonna die tonight.
254
00:21:10,726 --> 00:21:12,451
Don't worry, I'll
make this fast.
255
00:21:25,049 --> 00:21:26,362
Oh god, Alex.
256
00:21:27,742 --> 00:21:29,469
You're like a
goddamn super hero.
257
00:21:29,744 --> 00:21:30,538
Alex, your heart.
258
00:21:30,573 --> 00:21:31,262
We have to get
you to a hospital.
259
00:21:31,298 --> 00:21:32,920
I don't think I can look.
260
00:21:34,473 --> 00:21:35,829
The sun's coming
up, you have to go.
261
00:21:35,854 --> 00:21:37,028
Shh, stop, stop, stop.
262
00:21:37,061 --> 00:21:38,143
- No please, you have to go.
- Don't talk.
263
00:21:38,166 --> 00:21:39,064
You'll die if I go.
264
00:21:39,098 --> 00:21:40,548
You're gonna die if you stay.
265
00:21:45,173 --> 00:21:46,173
Hey.
266
00:22:03,605 --> 00:22:05,505
It's even more
beautiful than I imagined.
267
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:21,002
Please, please save him!
268
00:22:33,048 --> 00:22:34,913
Alaska, okay?
269
00:22:37,570 --> 00:22:38,675
I'm so there.
270
00:23:07,945 --> 00:23:08,945
Hello?
271
00:23:10,259 --> 00:23:11,570
What the hell is this?
272
00:23:14,815 --> 00:23:15,953
I can't move my...
273
00:23:17,230 --> 00:23:19,624
Somebody better tell me what
the hell's going on around here,
274
00:23:19,647 --> 00:23:20,820
and fast!
275
00:23:24,238 --> 00:23:25,757
Look who's up.
276
00:23:27,276 --> 00:23:30,105
Chuck, Helena.
277
00:23:30,141 --> 00:23:32,107
I don't know what
you think you're doing
278
00:23:32,143 --> 00:23:34,144
but you have about two seconds
279
00:23:34,179 --> 00:23:37,804
to undo these chains
or I swear to god,
280
00:23:37,837 --> 00:23:40,220
I will sue your asses
back to Transylvania.
281
00:23:42,084 --> 00:23:44,119
We're not from
Transylvania, Doug.
282
00:23:44,604 --> 00:23:46,468
We're from Pennsylvania.
283
00:23:46,915 --> 00:23:47,916
Oh, who...
284
00:23:51,299 --> 00:23:53,577
Oh, no, no, no, no.
285
00:23:54,027 --> 00:23:55,993
You gotta be shitting me!
286
00:23:56,236 --> 00:23:58,858
Oh shoot. It's
another blood sucker.
287
00:23:58,894 --> 00:24:00,481
There goes the neighborhood.
288
00:24:04,933 --> 00:24:06,488
Son... Alex.
289
00:24:07,592 --> 00:24:09,939
Undo these chains... Please.
290
00:24:11,631 --> 00:24:12,665
And infect our town?
291
00:24:15,116 --> 00:24:17,049
No, no, no, no. Not that.
292
00:24:17,981 --> 00:24:19,154
Show a little mercy.
293
00:24:20,950 --> 00:24:22,538
There is no mercy
for the undead.
294
00:24:22,814 --> 00:24:26,093
No, no, no, no! No,
no, no, no, no, no!!!
295
00:25:54,215 --> 00:25:55,296
Damn, why don't you leave
some drops for the rest of us?
296
00:25:55,319 --> 00:25:56,769
We got more coming, let's move.
297
00:25:57,770 --> 00:25:58,944
Oh, nice!
298
00:26:01,291 --> 00:26:01,981
Dave, Dave, Dave...
299
00:26:02,017 --> 00:26:04,019
Hey, hey, hey! Check this out.
300
00:26:04,053 --> 00:26:05,053
Shit.
301
00:26:06,848 --> 00:26:09,644
Sorry guys, my dad just came
in and totally broke my focus.
302
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:10,163
Hold on a sec.
303
00:26:10,196 --> 00:26:11,715
Behold.
304
00:26:11,750 --> 00:26:13,631
Sorry guys, I'll catch
y'all at school tomorrow.
305
00:26:17,790 --> 00:26:18,790
Nice relic.
306
00:26:20,345 --> 00:26:21,553
Woah, is this you?
307
00:26:21,587 --> 00:26:24,384
Hey, your old man had the
highest score in the southwest.
308
00:26:24,417 --> 00:26:26,454
I'd have won the
national championship
309
00:26:26,489 --> 00:26:28,145
if they hadn't have canceled it.
310
00:26:28,181 --> 00:26:30,228
And for some reason they
pulled all the copies of the game
311
00:26:30,251 --> 00:26:32,667
off the shelves and
buried them in the desert
312
00:26:32,702 --> 00:26:34,945
and didn't tell anyone why.
313
00:26:36,845 --> 00:26:39,813
Weird Wednesday. Sounds dumb.
314
00:26:41,159 --> 00:26:43,126
Wait, Dad. Dad
what are you doing?
315
00:26:43,817 --> 00:26:45,369
You are gonna love it.
316
00:26:45,887 --> 00:26:49,201
This game requires
laser focus and iron will.
317
00:26:49,236 --> 00:26:51,962
It's a game that's not
balanced and not fair.
318
00:26:51,998 --> 00:26:55,069
Brutal in its simplicity.
319
00:26:55,483 --> 00:26:56,875
There's no way
some old 8-bit clunker
320
00:26:56,898 --> 00:26:59,074
is gonna be harder
than Sentinel Strike.
321
00:26:59,349 --> 00:27:01,144
Ok, well you just watch.
322
00:27:04,319 --> 00:27:05,390
So, what do you do?
323
00:27:05,424 --> 00:27:07,012
You just gotta get across town.
324
00:27:07,047 --> 00:27:08,116
That sounds terrible.
325
00:27:08,152 --> 00:27:10,394
No, no, no. That's
the beauty of it.
326
00:27:10,430 --> 00:27:11,362
Simplicity.
327
00:27:11,395 --> 00:27:14,227
You never know what
is going to kill you.
328
00:27:14,260 --> 00:27:16,332
The newspaper, the
raccoon in the trash,
329
00:27:16,366 --> 00:27:17,506
the toaster oven.
330
00:27:17,539 --> 00:27:19,266
It could even be the lamp.
331
00:27:19,300 --> 00:27:21,786
I mean, you have no
idea what is deadly.
332
00:27:22,304 --> 00:27:23,788
So how do you win?
333
00:27:23,823 --> 00:27:25,169
I don't know.
334
00:27:25,202 --> 00:27:29,068
I mean, no player's ever
reached the final level before.
335
00:27:29,104 --> 00:27:31,243
The competition was
always high score.
336
00:27:31,554 --> 00:27:32,832
Ok.
337
00:27:32,865 --> 00:27:36,111
Now, just like riding a bike.
338
00:27:43,531 --> 00:27:45,499
Ok, ok, you laugh,
but it's been 30 years
339
00:27:45,534 --> 00:27:48,087
since I played this
game, remember?
340
00:27:48,123 --> 00:27:49,227
It's all coming back to me,
341
00:27:49,261 --> 00:27:51,333
I just need to
sharpen up a little.
342
00:27:51,953 --> 00:27:53,922
Come on, let me try.
343
00:28:06,347 --> 00:28:08,730
Oh! Oh, shit, this is hard.
344
00:28:09,212 --> 00:28:10,385
Yeah, I told you.
345
00:28:14,596 --> 00:28:15,596
Oh!
346
00:28:18,325 --> 00:28:19,463
Ah, dang.
347
00:28:21,224 --> 00:28:23,088
What does JEF spell?
348
00:28:24,192 --> 00:28:26,353
Well, savor it while it lasts,
it's gonna be mine soon.
349
00:28:28,196 --> 00:28:28,957
Did you see it?
350
00:28:28,990 --> 00:28:30,130
No, what was on it?
351
00:28:30,164 --> 00:28:32,005
It was like this weird little
drawing of the teacher.
352
00:28:32,028 --> 00:28:34,375
Hey! You guys gotta
try this old game.
353
00:28:34,410 --> 00:28:36,067
What game? Is it any good?
354
00:28:36,102 --> 00:28:37,103
No, it's the worst.
355
00:28:37,136 --> 00:28:38,218
You're just this
little 8-bit dude
356
00:28:38,241 --> 00:28:39,597
and you have to dodge
flying toasters and stuff
357
00:28:39,622 --> 00:28:41,416
but it's insanely hard.
358
00:28:41,451 --> 00:28:42,902
Have you beat it yet?
359
00:28:42,935 --> 00:28:44,109
Oh, it's impossible.
360
00:28:44,144 --> 00:28:45,294
No one's ever made
it to the final level.
361
00:28:45,317 --> 00:28:48,182
Wait, I thought you said no
game is impossible to beat?
362
00:28:48,217 --> 00:28:49,424
Bet I can beat it first.
363
00:28:49,460 --> 00:28:50,875
So competitive, Reina.
364
00:28:50,910 --> 00:28:52,300
You know, that's why I
broke up with you, right?
365
00:28:52,325 --> 00:28:54,878
Oh, you broke up with
me? I don't remember that.
366
00:28:54,913 --> 00:28:56,984
I remember you crying, a lot.
367
00:28:57,019 --> 00:28:57,882
Yeah.
368
00:28:57,916 --> 00:29:00,229
And the flowers. Oh,
and the love song.
369
00:29:00,263 --> 00:29:01,817
Look out for the shovel!
370
00:29:01,852 --> 00:29:03,369
I got it, I got it!
371
00:29:04,232 --> 00:29:05,820
Oh!
372
00:29:05,855 --> 00:29:07,442
You're doing great.
373
00:29:08,237 --> 00:29:09,134
Savor it while it lasts, Dad,
374
00:29:09,169 --> 00:29:11,136
that high score is
gonna be mine soon.
375
00:29:11,171 --> 00:29:14,242
No one can defeat me!
376
00:29:14,278 --> 00:29:15,071
Oh, it's on.
377
00:29:15,105 --> 00:29:16,417
On like Donkey Kong.
378
00:29:18,420 --> 00:29:20,019
Oh, that's the
delivery guy, I'll get it.
379
00:29:23,114 --> 00:29:24,597
- Hey, Spencer.
- What's up?
380
00:29:24,633 --> 00:29:27,084
Reina, it's good to see you.
Dave's down in the basement.
381
00:29:29,500 --> 00:29:31,053
Hey, Mr. D. How're
you holding up?
382
00:29:32,019 --> 00:29:33,660
Ah, you know. Taking
it one day at a time.
383
00:29:36,126 --> 00:29:39,336
So, tell me honestly.
How's Dave doing?
384
00:29:40,510 --> 00:29:42,133
You should ask
him that yourself.
385
00:29:42,961 --> 00:29:45,826
Oh, I would, but he
doesn't exactly talk to me.
386
00:29:47,241 --> 00:29:49,346
Maybe just give him some time.
387
00:29:50,383 --> 00:29:51,383
Yeah.
388
00:29:52,419 --> 00:29:54,455
Look, I'm really glad that
you guys stayed friends.
389
00:29:54,490 --> 00:29:56,044
Yeah, me too.
390
00:30:09,366 --> 00:30:10,471
Hey, what's up Reina?
391
00:30:10,990 --> 00:30:12,381
I can't wait for you
guys to play this.
392
00:30:12,404 --> 00:30:13,404
It's ridiculous.
393
00:30:15,718 --> 00:30:17,098
Aw!
394
00:30:17,134 --> 00:30:19,170
Death by mailbox. Brutal.
395
00:30:19,204 --> 00:30:20,205
Hey, good try.
396
00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:23,415
I know a little trick
to get past that level.
397
00:30:23,450 --> 00:30:25,589
Oh, it's ok. You can,
uh, just show me later.
398
00:30:27,522 --> 00:30:30,595
Ok, um, I'll be just upstairs.
399
00:30:31,286 --> 00:30:32,942
Oh, ok. Bye, Dad.
400
00:30:33,391 --> 00:30:34,565
How do you beat that?
401
00:30:35,013 --> 00:30:36,359
You'll get the hang of it. Here.
402
00:30:57,414 --> 00:31:00,971
Yes! Oh my god. Yes!
403
00:31:01,005 --> 00:31:01,592
Are you ok?
404
00:31:01,625 --> 00:31:03,111
Boom! In your face!
405
00:31:03,144 --> 00:31:04,663
I won. I won.
406
00:31:06,078 --> 00:31:07,563
You just beat the final boss?
407
00:31:07,597 --> 00:31:10,221
No, I beat you, Dad. I beat you.
408
00:31:11,981 --> 00:31:14,294
Woah, ok, woah, woah.
409
00:31:14,328 --> 00:31:17,676
Son, you didn't win, you
just got the highest score.
410
00:31:17,711 --> 00:31:19,540
But we still need to beat it.
411
00:31:21,508 --> 00:31:23,406
Dad, it's impossible.
412
00:31:23,441 --> 00:31:24,994
It literally says on the game,
413
00:31:25,028 --> 00:31:26,410
"Never beaten
by a single player."
414
00:31:26,685 --> 00:31:27,721
It's like a feature.
415
00:31:28,135 --> 00:31:29,446
Yeah, well not yet.
416
00:31:29,653 --> 00:31:31,586
This game has met its match
417
00:31:31,622 --> 00:31:34,451
with this awesome
father/son duo, huh?
418
00:31:36,281 --> 00:31:38,559
Um, I think I'm
gonna head to bed.
419
00:31:42,633 --> 00:31:43,633
Uh...
420
00:31:47,603 --> 00:31:48,603
Check this out.
421
00:31:49,605 --> 00:31:51,480
I got a console and a
copy of the game off eBay.
422
00:31:51,503 --> 00:31:54,748
Seller listed it crazy cheap.
And it was cursed or something.
423
00:31:55,439 --> 00:31:56,750
Like, the game
murdered her kids.
424
00:31:57,544 --> 00:31:59,063
- Okay.
- So many whack-jobs on there.
425
00:31:59,511 --> 00:32:01,134
And look, it came
with a cheat code.
426
00:32:01,616 --> 00:32:03,457
Oh, come on. You know
cheater wins don't count.
427
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:06,000
- Yeah, straight facts.
- Whatever. Oh, my gosh.
428
00:32:12,282 --> 00:32:14,113
What's up?
429
00:32:14,699 --> 00:32:16,010
Nothing, just my dad.
430
00:32:16,355 --> 00:32:18,151
Aren't you going to respond?
431
00:32:19,325 --> 00:32:21,395
Oh! Cold!
432
00:32:24,537 --> 00:32:27,057
You know, your dad's
pretty cool, for a dad.
433
00:32:27,366 --> 00:32:30,094
He's not cool. He's nice.
434
00:32:31,095 --> 00:32:32,682
Still cuts the crusts
off my sandwiches.
435
00:32:32,717 --> 00:32:33,752
They sound delicious.
436
00:32:33,787 --> 00:32:35,651
They are, but like, never
lets me do anything.
437
00:32:36,066 --> 00:32:37,625
Won't even let me
take my driver's test.
438
00:32:37,688 --> 00:32:39,759
You're his baby and he's lonely.
439
00:32:40,173 --> 00:32:41,311
Lucky me.
440
00:32:42,347 --> 00:32:43,748
Hey, Reina can I
borrow your system?
441
00:32:44,211 --> 00:32:45,522
What? No way. I just got it.
442
00:32:46,144 --> 00:32:48,387
Plus, I need to crush
Dave's high score.
443
00:32:48,663 --> 00:32:49,802
Put him in his place.
444
00:32:49,837 --> 00:32:51,816
Fair and square though.
Better not use that cheat code.
445
00:32:51,839 --> 00:32:53,185
Like I'd need it.
446
00:32:53,221 --> 00:32:54,153
Come on, let me borrow it.
447
00:32:54,186 --> 00:32:56,292
You said you had to
study tonight anyway.
448
00:32:57,432 --> 00:32:59,296
One night, nerd. One.
449
00:33:05,371 --> 00:33:07,545
Hey, I missed you last
night. What'd you get up to?
450
00:33:07,855 --> 00:33:09,409
Just chilling at Reina's.
451
00:33:09,443 --> 00:33:11,859
You two getting back
together? She's great.
452
00:33:11,894 --> 00:33:13,240
No, god dad.
453
00:33:13,275 --> 00:33:14,827
We were just playing
Weird Wednesday.
454
00:33:15,864 --> 00:33:17,071
Are you ready to hunker down
455
00:33:17,106 --> 00:33:20,626
for an all day, no-holds-barred
rematch with your old man?
456
00:33:20,662 --> 00:33:21,663
I'll pass.
457
00:33:22,595 --> 00:33:26,529
Hey, Dave, look.
I'll make you a deal.
458
00:33:26,564 --> 00:33:28,256
Hey, you beat the game first,
459
00:33:28,289 --> 00:33:30,222
I will take you to
get your license.
460
00:33:30,430 --> 00:33:32,191
What's the catch?
461
00:33:32,224 --> 00:33:33,640
Well, if I win first,
462
00:33:33,674 --> 00:33:36,298
you have to hang out
with me every Friday night.
463
00:33:38,817 --> 00:33:39,817
Deal?
464
00:33:41,337 --> 00:33:42,337
Deal.
465
00:33:44,616 --> 00:33:46,135
Did you use the cheat code?
466
00:33:46,170 --> 00:33:47,596
There's a new
character to choose from.
467
00:33:47,619 --> 00:33:49,691
I didn't do anything.
He just showed up.
468
00:33:51,243 --> 00:33:52,383
Kind of looks like Spencer.
469
00:33:52,417 --> 00:33:54,316
That asshole still
has my console.
470
00:33:54,557 --> 00:33:56,677
Oh, well I'll text him to
bring it when he comes over.
471
00:33:57,146 --> 00:33:59,355
Thanks. What's up
with this new guy?
472
00:33:59,734 --> 00:34:01,575
It's like he doesn't want
to move or something.
473
00:34:01,737 --> 00:34:04,361
Look at his face!
So freaked out.
474
00:34:07,295 --> 00:34:08,536
Come on dude, pick up.
475
00:34:10,297 --> 00:34:11,574
Yo, Spencer, where you at, man?
476
00:34:11,608 --> 00:34:13,967
Gotta come out to my house
and check out this new character.
477
00:34:14,853 --> 00:34:16,199
Ugh!
478
00:34:16,235 --> 00:34:18,132
The freaking squirrel
flew into my face.
479
00:34:22,172 --> 00:34:23,172
Let me play.
480
00:34:28,454 --> 00:34:29,833
Ah! Spencer's gotta see this.
481
00:34:30,869 --> 00:34:32,905
Oh god. Every time.
482
00:34:32,940 --> 00:34:35,356
It's the same thing every time.
483
00:34:38,188 --> 00:34:39,257
Cheer up, take it.
484
00:34:42,431 --> 00:34:43,572
Keep going, you got it.
485
00:34:44,987 --> 00:34:46,713
- Ah!
- Oh.
486
00:34:50,614 --> 00:34:51,684
Ahh...
487
00:35:00,382 --> 00:35:01,934
Oh man, what
happened to the new guy?
488
00:35:04,420 --> 00:35:06,353
This idiot is totally
ghosting me.
489
00:35:06,974 --> 00:35:08,527
Let's go get my console.
490
00:35:13,222 --> 00:35:15,362
Dave, it's so good to
see you. Hey, Reina.
491
00:35:15,396 --> 00:35:16,684
Spencer's not
answering his phone.
492
00:35:16,708 --> 00:35:18,365
Have you seen him?
493
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:20,574
Uh no, we haven't seen
him. We thought he was here.
494
00:35:20,608 --> 00:35:22,472
He was playing some old
video game this morning
495
00:35:22,507 --> 00:35:24,371
then he walked out
and didn't come home.
496
00:35:24,405 --> 00:35:27,375
He borrowed my game
system actually, can I grab it?
497
00:35:27,409 --> 00:35:28,409
Come on in, yeah.
498
00:35:41,699 --> 00:35:43,010
Hey, if you see Spencer,
499
00:35:43,045 --> 00:35:46,842
tell him to call me
right away. Moms worry.
500
00:35:46,876 --> 00:35:48,465
Sure, no problem.
501
00:35:52,675 --> 00:35:56,300
Spencer's not usually so MIA.
502
00:35:56,335 --> 00:35:57,588
He's probably hanging
out with Jessica
503
00:35:57,612 --> 00:35:58,934
and just doesn't
want his mom to know.
504
00:35:58,958 --> 00:35:59,958
Probably.
505
00:36:00,753 --> 00:36:02,193
I gotta get back to
playing the game.
506
00:36:02,409 --> 00:36:03,594
My dad's on some
new forest level now
507
00:36:03,617 --> 00:36:05,275
I've never even seen before.
508
00:36:05,309 --> 00:36:06,838
It's probably getting
close to the final boss.
509
00:36:06,862 --> 00:36:09,900
You know he just wants to
spend time with you, right?
510
00:36:09,934 --> 00:36:11,487
Too much time.
511
00:36:11,521 --> 00:36:13,481
If he wins, I'm stuck with
him every Friday night.
512
00:36:13,835 --> 00:36:14,835
Woah.
513
00:36:17,701 --> 00:36:18,702
Want some ice cream?
514
00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:20,565
Damn.
515
00:36:20,599 --> 00:36:21,599
Jeez.
516
00:36:40,896 --> 00:36:42,311
I'm gonna go get some chips.
517
00:36:45,728 --> 00:36:46,730
Come on.
518
00:36:51,043 --> 00:36:52,045
Fuck it.
519
00:36:56,911 --> 00:36:57,911
Alright.
520
00:37:05,438 --> 00:37:06,922
What, what the hell?
521
00:37:11,719 --> 00:37:13,757
Dave, why are
you being so weird?
522
00:37:15,414 --> 00:37:17,829
Are you on drugs?
Dude, just sit down.
523
00:37:18,554 --> 00:37:20,764
I can't. It's like
someone's controlling me.
524
00:37:20,797 --> 00:37:22,628
No one is controlling you.
525
00:37:22,869 --> 00:37:24,905
You have like,
free will, you know?
526
00:37:28,012 --> 00:37:29,427
It's not funny.
527
00:37:29,461 --> 00:37:31,394
It definitely is. What's
up with the screen?
528
00:37:31,429 --> 00:37:33,016
This some new mode?
529
00:37:33,052 --> 00:37:34,121
I put in the cheat code.
530
00:37:34,155 --> 00:37:35,088
Cheater!
531
00:37:35,123 --> 00:37:37,331
The eBay seller said
it was cursed, right?
532
00:37:37,367 --> 00:37:39,126
You believe every
dumbass on eBay?
533
00:37:39,161 --> 00:37:40,715
I do now!
534
00:37:40,748 --> 00:37:41,784
You're so high.
535
00:37:42,889 --> 00:37:47,030
Nobody wins this game. Ever.
536
00:37:47,617 --> 00:37:50,000
Chill. I'll just turn
off the power.
537
00:37:50,827 --> 00:37:51,829
Ok.
538
00:37:53,175 --> 00:37:54,315
Ah!
539
00:37:58,146 --> 00:38:00,423
Don't ever do that again.
540
00:38:00,699 --> 00:38:03,081
You're in the game! Oh, fuck.
541
00:38:05,842 --> 00:38:06,947
Dave, come back.
542
00:38:07,396 --> 00:38:08,398
I can't!
543
00:38:12,677 --> 00:38:13,677
Yeah.
544
00:38:19,201 --> 00:38:20,375
Oh god.
545
00:38:34,009 --> 00:38:35,009
I died.
546
00:38:35,873 --> 00:38:38,081
I think you respawned.
547
00:38:39,739 --> 00:38:41,362
What happens when
I run out of lives?
548
00:38:42,846 --> 00:38:44,813
Oh god. Spencer.
549
00:38:45,088 --> 00:38:47,126
He ran out of lives
and now he's dead.
550
00:38:47,159 --> 00:38:49,438
Don't... run out of lives.
551
00:38:50,474 --> 00:38:51,474
Reina!
552
00:38:55,617 --> 00:38:56,617
Whoa!
553
00:39:16,706 --> 00:39:18,708
Do something! I
don't want to die again.
554
00:39:18,916 --> 00:39:20,193
It hurts.
555
00:39:20,228 --> 00:39:22,027
Wait, if you're the
player, who's playing you?
556
00:39:35,657 --> 00:39:36,657
Come on.
557
00:39:37,175 --> 00:39:38,175
Come on, come on!
558
00:39:56,505 --> 00:39:57,679
Fuck, fuck!
559
00:40:00,130 --> 00:40:03,166
Argh! Stupid knife store.
560
00:40:06,585 --> 00:40:08,862
Oh god. Oh god, oh god.
561
00:40:09,208 --> 00:40:12,072
Last life. In it to win it.
562
00:40:49,248 --> 00:40:52,146
Final boss, here I come.
563
00:41:07,646 --> 00:41:08,646
What?
564
00:41:14,376 --> 00:41:15,550
Woah.
565
00:41:24,938 --> 00:41:25,938
Ugh!
566
00:41:27,768 --> 00:41:28,768
Ah.
567
00:41:40,954 --> 00:41:41,956
Thank god.
568
00:41:41,989 --> 00:41:42,818
The new character's
actually Dave.
569
00:41:42,853 --> 00:41:44,302
He used the cheat code,
570
00:41:44,336 --> 00:41:46,617
got sucked into the video
game, and if you lose he'll die.
571
00:41:46,753 --> 00:41:47,753
What?
572
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:53,001
Oh my god.
573
00:41:54,382 --> 00:41:55,693
I'll unplug it.
574
00:41:55,728 --> 00:41:57,349
No, trust me, that doesn't work.
575
00:41:57,385 --> 00:41:58,697
We have to win.
576
00:42:00,250 --> 00:42:01,940
Okay. Let's do it.
577
00:42:08,291 --> 00:42:09,708
Two player?
578
00:42:11,364 --> 00:42:12,813
Ok, I'm going in.
579
00:42:12,849 --> 00:42:14,608
Mr. D, that's crazy.
580
00:42:14,643 --> 00:42:15,862
You don't know
what's gonna happen.
581
00:42:15,885 --> 00:42:17,992
Well, I know that I have to try.
582
00:42:21,409 --> 00:42:23,998
The game has never been
beaten by a single player.
583
00:42:24,722 --> 00:42:29,900
But, if we work
together, we can beat it.
584
00:42:40,117 --> 00:42:41,117
Hey, pal.
585
00:42:42,016 --> 00:42:43,742
The game is harder
than you thought, huh?
586
00:42:44,224 --> 00:42:46,847
Hell yeah. I can move again.
587
00:42:47,297 --> 00:42:48,400
Who's controlling me?
588
00:42:49,298 --> 00:42:52,335
I was. We're in two
player mode now.
589
00:42:55,443 --> 00:42:56,443
You ready?
590
00:42:57,376 --> 00:42:58,376
Let's do this.
591
00:43:24,748 --> 00:43:25,956
Come on, guys!
592
00:43:28,061 --> 00:43:29,201
Is that all you got?
593
00:43:32,893 --> 00:43:34,378
Eat this, ET!
594
00:43:41,315 --> 00:43:42,315
Dave!!!
595
00:43:42,489 --> 00:43:43,489
Dad!
596
00:43:45,217 --> 00:43:46,907
Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
597
00:43:55,744 --> 00:43:59,126
I'm sorry, son. I just
wanted to protect you.
598
00:43:59,161 --> 00:44:00,161
I love you.
599
00:44:03,304 --> 00:44:04,304
You can do this.
600
00:44:05,961 --> 00:44:06,963
I love you too, Dad.
601
00:44:08,067 --> 00:44:09,067
Son!
602
00:44:09,931 --> 00:44:10,931
Come on!
603
00:44:17,420 --> 00:44:19,215
Hey, Dad, we win.
604
00:44:43,206 --> 00:44:45,380
Yes!
605
00:45:11,130 --> 00:45:14,927
So, what's next,
Mr. Driver's License?
606
00:45:16,998 --> 00:45:19,000
Just home. Reina's coming over.
607
00:45:21,139 --> 00:45:23,177
Oh, you know what? Why
don't you go pick her up?
608
00:45:24,005 --> 00:45:27,215
Do something fun.
As friends, of course.
609
00:45:28,940 --> 00:45:30,253
I'll walk home.
610
00:45:36,534 --> 00:45:37,536
Hey, Dad.
611
00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:41,039
Uh, wanna play ball
tomorrow or something?
612
00:45:41,851 --> 00:45:44,266
Yeah. Yeah, I'd love that.
41811
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