All language subtitles for Ugly.Betty.S01E06.WEBRip.x264-ION10

PREVIOUSLY ON "UGLY BETTY"...
WHY DO THEY SAY THAT'S NOT
YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER?

YOU CAN'T GET ONE IF YOU'RE
IN THIS COUNTRY ILLEGALLY.

I NEED YOU TO FIND MY WATCH.
PRETTY SURE I LEFT IT

AT SOME WOMAN'S APARTMENT
LAST WEEK.

HE DATES ANYTHING THAT MOVES,

AND I AGREE TO SMILE
AND TAKE THEIR MESSAGES.

YOU MAY WANT TO RETURN SOME
OF THESE. NICO'S CALLED TWICE.

HI, MOM.

WHO'S FILLING HIS HEAD
WITH STORIES ABOUT ME AND FEY?

WHO GAVE MY SON THE MUSIC BOX?
I THINK IT'S TIME
FOR FEY SOMMERS

TO COME OUT OF SECLUSION.

HE COULD BE DEPORTED?

VERY STRONG POSSIBILITY,
YES.

BUT HE HAS A FAMILY.
HE PAYS TAXES. HE'S A METS FAN.

HE'S IN OPRAH'S BOOK CLUB.

GIVEN WHAT YOU'VE TOLD ME,

IT'S LIKELY YOUR FATHER'S
BEEN RED-FLAGGED.

RED-FLAGGED? IS THAT BAD?

IT MEANS THAT THE GOVERNMENT IS
INVESTIGATING, AND ULTIMATELY,

A JUDGE COULD RULE TO HAVE YOU
SENT BACK TO MEXICO.

YOU COULDA JUST SAID "BAD."

MR. SUAREZ, THERE'S SOMETHING
I HAVE TO ASK.

YOU'VE BEEN HERE
FOR WHAT, 30 YEARS?
MM-HMM.

ALL THAT TIME, YOU NEVER APPLIED
FOR A GREEN CARD.

NEVER BEGAN
THE CITIZENSHIP PROCESS.

WHAT ABOUT THE AMNESTY
IN THE '80s?

I WAS A LITTLE BUSY
PROVIDING FOR MY FAMILY.

IS THAT SUCH A PROBLEM?
DAD.

LOOK, THE PAST IS PAST.
I WANNA TALK ABOUT NOW.

HOW MUCH WILL IT COST
FOR YOU TO HELP US?

NOW THIS MEETING
WAS PRO BONO.

MY WIFE ASKED ME BECAUSE SHE
LOVES YOUR DAUGHTER'S PRODUCTS.
(mouths words) THANK YOU.

HILDA, BY THE WAY, THAT FIBER
LOSS REALLY CLEANED HER OUT.

BUT A CASE LIKE THIS...
YOU WANNA SAVE YOUR FATHER...

IT STARTS WITH A RETAINER.

(Hilda) 20 GRAND?

DO YOU VALIDATE?

HEY, SLOW DOWN.

OH, AFTER LAST NIGHT,
I THINK I NEED A WALKER.

WE ARE LATE.
WILHELMINA'S MEETING

ABOUT THE "MUST MODE" ISSUE'S
ABOUT TO START.

CRUELLA DeVIL CAN WAIT.
HEY, YOUR LOST WATCH--

DID YOU EVER FIGURE OUT WHICH
GIRL'S APARTMENT YOU LEFT IT AT?

NO, BETTY NEVER TOLD ME.
OH.

WE SHOULD PROBABLY
TAKE SEPARATE ELEVATORS.

WOULDN'T WANT THE OFFICE
GETTING THE WRONG IDEA.

RIGHT. BECAUSE MY PANTIES
STUFFED IN YOUR PAPER SHREDDER

PROBABLY DIDN'T TIP 'EM OFF.

(elevator bell dings)

(gasps)

GREAT. JUST GREAT.

COULD I HELP YOU OUT?

I GOT A LOT OF WOMEN'S CLOTHES
UP IN MY OFFICE.

HOLD THIS, PLEASE.
FASHIONABLE CLOTHES...
UP IN THE OFFICE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

YOU GOTTA DO
WHAT YOU GOTTA DO.

FASTEST FIRST DATE
I'VE EVER HAD.

YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS.

YOU ACTUALLY THINK
YOU'VE GOT A SHOT

HERE, NOW?

JUST JOKING. YOU SMILED AT ME
IN THE LOBBY.

I SMILED 'CAUSE
I COULDN'T BELIEVE

YOU PULLED A DITCH AND DASH
WITH THAT POOR GIRL BACK THERE.

(elevator whirring)

YOU LET IT ALL PLAY OUT
IN YOUR HEAD, DIDN'T YOU?

YOU, ME, NO ONE ELSE HERE.

WE'D BE ON THE FLOOR,
BODIES SWEATING,

RUG BURN ON MY BACK.

(elevator bell dings)

WELL, SO MUCH
FOR THAT FANTASY.

AS WE DO EVERY YEAR
FOR OUR "MUST MODE" ISSUE,

YOUR IDEAS, YOUR PICKS,
YOUR LISTS

WILL BE CONSIDERED
FOR INCLUSION.

(cell phone rings)

NICO, I TOLD YOU,
ONLY EMERGENCIES.

NO, YOU CANNOT SUBMIT
MY APARTMENT

FOR "PIMP YO HOUSE."

GOOD-BYE.

FAMILY IS STAYING WITH ME
TEMPORARILY.

REMEMBER,
IT'S NOT JUST AN "IT" LIST.

THERE ARE
PERSONAL "MUSTS" AS WELL.

LIKE MUST BE ON TIME.

FOR OTHERS,
IT'S A BIT MORE PROFOUND.

WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS
THAT WE TAP INTO THE ISSUES

OF OUR READERS' LIVES
THEY CANNOT FACE,

MOVE THEM TO THE NEXT STAGE
IN THEIR LIVES,

PROMISE THEM
IT WON'T BE ANOTHER YEAR

FULL OF UNANSWERED QUESTIONS

AND UNRESOLVED ISSUES,
AND LEST WE FORGET,

IT IS ABOUT THE FASHION
"MUST-HAVES" FOR 2007,

AND I CAN ASSURE YOU
IT WILL NOT INCLUDE POLKA-DOTS.

THAT'S IT. START LISTING.

YOU HAVE
AN 11:30 LAYOUT CONFERENCE,

AND YOUR FATHER'S OFFICE
CALLED.

THERE'S AN EDITORS-IN-CHIEF
MEETING TOMORROW.

SO LISTEN, THERE'S THIS WOMAN--
SMOKING HOT--WORKS ON 27.

SHE'S NOT WEARING A SHIRT,
HAD SOME SORT OF ACCIDENT.

I REALLY--I NEED YOU
TO FIND OUT WHO SHE IS, OKAY?

"MUST" HUNT DOWN
DANIEL'S BABE.

WHATEVER BRADFORD MEADE DOES,
HE CAN'T GET RID OF ME.

SOMETIMES IT'S LIKE
SHE'S STILL HERE.

YOU REMEMBER WHAT TOMORROW IS,
DON'T YOU?

HOW COULD I FORGET?

NICO, DARLING, I'M HOME.

WHAT IS THAT?

DINNER.
YOU DIDN'T HAVE MUCH.

MY WINE,
AND PECORINO di PIENZA.

IT'S A CHEESE.
GOES GREAT WITH PEARS.

AND CEREAL GOES GREAT
WITH MILK.

HOW WAS YOUR DAY, DEAR?

I PICKED THESE UP TODAY--

BROCHURES
FOR SCHOOLS IN NEW YORK.

DON'T BE SILLY. SCHOOLS HERE
DON'T MEET YOUR STANDARDS.

I WAS THINKING

OF THE HERTZOG SCHOOL
IN SWITZERLAND.

EXPELLED, REMEMBER?

SO I'M STARTING TO THINK MAYBE
BOARDING SCHOOL'S NOT FOR ME.

I SAID THE SAME THING
TO THE SENATOR

WHEN HE SENT ME
TO THE CHAMBERLIN SCHOOL.

HE'D JUST WON
HIS FIRST CONGRESSIONAL SEAT.

HE TOLD ME--
"WILLIE, D.C. IS NO PLACE

FOR MY DAUGHTER
TO BECOME A YOUNG LADY."

SAME THING GOES FOR YOU
IN NEW YORK.

BOARDING SCHOOL
HAS A FAR BETTER EDUCATION,

FAR BETTER PEOPLE
AND FAR BETTER FOOD

THAN... CAPTAIN CRISP.

"CAP'N."

I DON'T THINK HE'S
AN OFFICIAL MARITIME OFFICER.

DAD, IS THIS EVERYTHING
FROM MEXICO?

YEAH, BIRTH CERTIFICATE,
PASSPORT,

MAYBE EVEN
AN OLD BABY PICTURE.

CAREFUL. I MIGHT BE NAKED
IN THAT ONE.

THE LAWYER'S
GONNA NEED THESE DOCUMENTS.

YEAH, THE LAWYER
WE CAN'T AFFORD.
YOU KNOW, DAD,
THERE'S ENOUGH HERE.

YOU COULD HAVE APPLIED
FOR A GREEN CARD.

I MEAN, YOU WERE HERE IN '86,
AND REAGAN OFFERED THE AMNESTY.

I, UH...
I MISSED IT. OKAY?

LOOK, I-I'M SORRY I'M
PUTTING YOU THROUGH ALL THIS.

BUT MAYBE
IF WE TIGHTEN OUR BELTS,

GOT SECOND JOBS, MAYBE--

DAD, I REALLY WANT
TO HELP,

BUT MY FIRST JOB
IS HARD ENOUGH AS IT IS.

NOT IF YOU MAXIMIZE
YOUR TIME THERE.

HILDA,
DON'T GO THERE AGAIN.

I AM NOT GONNA
SELL HerbaLux AT "MODE."

WHAT MODEL DOESN'T WANNA
LOSE WEIGHT? IT'S EASY MONEY.

IT'S NOT THE WORST IDEA
IN THE WORLD.

I WILL SET YOU UP
WITH A BASIC PACKAGE

JUST TO TEASE 'EM.

WHAT'S THIS?

(Betty) LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY
WAS TORN OUT.

AH, IT'S NOTHING.

JUST A PHOTO OF MOM
WITH AN OLD BOYFRIEND.

OOH, LET ME SEE.

A BOYFRIEND?

I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE
EACH OTHER'S FIRST LOVES.

CAN YOU STOP
WITH THE DAMN QUESTIONS?

I'M GOING FOR A WALK.
(bangs counter)

IF IT'S OKAY, BETTY.

WHAT IS WITH YOU?

OBVIOUSLY, HE IS SENSITIVE
ABOUT ALL OF THIS.

WELL, THERE'S SOMETHING
HE'S NOT TELLING US.

WE'RE JUST TRYING TO HELP HIM,
HILDA. WE DESERVE TO KNOW.

DOESN'T THAT UPSET YOU?
OF COURSE IT DOES,
BUT GETTING UPSET DOESN'T HELP.

HE'S ALWAYS BEEN THERE
FOR US, BETTY.

WE JUST--WE GOTTA
BE THERE FOR HIM NOW.

FINE. I'LL SELL
HerbaLux AT "MODE."

I MEAN, I'D DO ANYTHING
I HAVE TO,

BUT I'M NOT GONNA
JUST LET HIM OFF THE HOOK,

NOT UNTIL HE TELLS US
THE TRUTH.

♪♪♪

OKAY, GIVE IT BACK
TO ME, GIRL.

THE VITA VALU PACK CONTAINS ALL
ESSENTIAL VITAMINS FROM A TO Z.

YOU KNOW THERE'S
NO SUCH THING AS VITAMIN Z?

HELLO,
IT'S A CATCHY SALES PITCH.

AND WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT
THAN THE VITAMIN CONTENT?

YOU GET IT HALF OFF
WHEN PURCHASED

WITH THE NITRO NUTRIENT COMBO.
RIGHT.

NOW THE CUSTOMERS
HAVE TO HAVE CONFIDENCE

IN YOU AND THE PRODUCT,
SO DON'T BE AFRAID

TO REALLY JUST
PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE.

TIRED OF STICKING YOUR FINGER
DOWN YOUR THROAT?

WANNA LOSE WEIGHT THE EASY WAY?
ASK ME HOW!

HerbaLux CAN HELP.

IT'S A GOOD LINE.
I MIGHT USE IT.

NOW YOU'RE READY
FOR YOUR SECRET WEAPON.

10 POUNDS IN 10 DAYS.
OH, GOD. DO I REALLY NEED
TO WEAR THAT?

I REMEMBER
WHEN I GOT PINNED.

SHELLY JENKINS
DID ME THE HONOR.

DID SHE GET YOU A LIMO
AND A CORSAGE?

CAN I PLEASE GO TO WORK
AND HUMILIATE MYSELF NOW?

YES. YES, YOU MAY.
SHELLY ALWAYS SAID,

"HIT 'EM WITH THE APPETIZER
PRICES BEFORE LUNCH."

(chuckles)

HAPPY HerbaLuxing!

(exhales deeply)

GOOD MORNING, MARC.

I THINK I HAVE SOMETHING HERE
THAT MIGHT INTEREST YOU.

HMM. UNLESS IT'S TAYE DIGGS
COVERED IN BABY OIL,

I DOUBT IT.
I SEE THAT YOU'RE ENJOYING
A HEALTHY SMOOTHIE.

DID YOU KNOW SCIENTISTS TODAY

ARE MAKING GREAT STRIDES
IN THE HEALTH SUPPLEMENT MARKET?

AND MOST OF THOSE SCIENTISTS
ARE WORKING IN THE HerbaLux LAB

IN HOBOKEN, NEW JERSEY.
IN FACT, HerbaLux--
COULD YOU PLEASE JUST--

10 POUNDS?

REACH FOR THE STARS.

MARC...

WE HAVE SOME PHONE CALLS
TO MAKE, DON'T WE?
YEAH.

WORK THOSE HALLS,
YOU LITTLE DIET DIVA.

I DON'T LIKE IT
WHEN SHE SMILES.

IT'S SO METALLIC.
WHAT DID SHE WANT?

LOOKS LIKE
SHE'S TRYING TO EARN

A FEW EXTRA PESOS
FOR SOMETHING.

INTERESTING.

HMM.

WHAT'S THE STATUS ON THE LIST
OF BOARDING SCHOOLS?

LONDON AND MILAN PASSED.

THERE'S STILL
ONE SCHOOL IN PARIS

THAT HASN'T HEARD
OF NICO, I THINK.

C'EST PARFAIT.
GET THEM ON THE PHONE.

OH, AND BEFORE I FORGET,

YOU'RE MEETING
WITH DANIEL'S BEEN PUSHED.

HE'S AT A MEETING
IN BRADFORD'S OFFICE--

EDITORS-IN-CHIEF ONLY.

WELL, I'M SURE
SKIPPY'S HOLDING HIS OWN.

(indistinct conversations)

MY PLEASURE.

I LIKE MINE BLACK,
TWO SUGARS.

YOU WANT ME
TO GET YOU COFFEE?

I THINK
THAT'S WHY YOU'RE HERE.

OH, AND WHAT GAVE IT AWAY?
WAS IT MY ACCENT?

ACTUALLY, THE FACT THAT
YOU'RE THE ONLY PERSON HERE

WHO DOESN'T EDIT
A MEADE PUBLICATION.

YOU'RE AN EDITOR.

WOW. I BET THAT GETS YOU
ALL THE GIRLS, HUH?

UH, USUALLY,
MY MAGAZINE'S CIRCULATION COUNT

DOES THE TRICK.

CIRCULATION COUNT.

WHY? IS IT BIG?

WELL, I DON'T LIKE TO BRAG,

BUT I AM IN THE TOP FIVE.

OH, MY GOD.
LISTEN, I'M SORRY.

I'M NEW HERE,

AND I'M NOT REALLY THAT FAMILIAR
WITH EVERYONE YET.

OF COURSE, I'M--

DANIEL MEADE,
"MODE" MAGAZINE--

THE ONLY ONE IN THIS ROOM
WHO WAS BORN INTO HIS JOB.

(Bradford) OKAY,
LET'S GET STARTED, EVERYONE.

I HAVE NEWS.

SOME MIGHT CALL IT
EXCITING NEWS.

IN JANUARY, MEADE PUBLISHING
LAUNCHES A NEW WEEKLY...

TARGETING
THE EMPOWERED MODERN WOMAN.

YOU'LL ALL GET THE PRESS
RELEASE. THE POINT IS,

THAT I WISH TO INTRODUCE
THE BEST-SELLING AUTHOR

AND EDITORIAL BRAINS BEHIND
OUR NEW MAGAZINE, "M.Y.W.,"

SOFIA REYES.
(applause)

SOFIA, WHAT'S THE NAME
OF YOUR NEW BOOK?

"MAKING YOUR MAN A BOTTOM."

AND HERBA-AID DOESN'T JUST
HYDRATE. IT CONTAINS PROTEIN,

WHICH HELPS TO REPAIR THE MUSCLE
AFTER YOUR WORKOUT.

TERRIFIC.
I TOLD YOU
YOU CAN'T BE HERE.

WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?
I WAS MID-SALE.

HEY, HEY!
YOU DON'T WANT ME
TO CALL THE COPS, DO YOU?

GET OUT--
OW!

WHAT COULD YOU
POSSIBLY TELL THEM?
THIS DOESN'T CONCERN YOU, MA'AM.

LET ME WORRY ABOUT THAT.

YOU WORRY ABOUT
CALLING ME "MA'AM" AGAIN

AND GETTING THIS YOGA MAT
UPSIDE YOUR HEAD.
LOOK, I WAS JUST
GONNA LEAVE ANYWAY--

STAY WHERE YOU ARE.
YOU? YOU NEED TO APOLOGIZE.
OH, ME?

YEAH.
SHE'S THE ONE
BREAKING THE LAW.

YOU'RE SUCH A LEGAL EXPERT,
TELL ME WHAT IT SAYS

IN SUBCHAPTER 27
OF CHAPTER 2 OF TITLE 20

OF THE NEW YORK CITY
ADMINISTRATIVE CODE

ABOUT THE OCCUPATIONAL
LICENSING OF VENDORS.

OR HOW ABOUT THE CONSTITUTION,

A LITTLE THING CALLED
"FREEDOM OF ASSEMBLY"?

YEAH, WELL, YOU CAN FORGET
ABOUT YOUR FREE TOWEL.

THAT WAS AMAZING.

YOU KNOW WHAT? DON'T TELL HIM,
BUT THAT SUBCHAPTER

APPLIES TO DISABLED VETERANS
ONLY.

HOW YOU DOING? I'M LEAH.
HI. I'M HILDA.

SO YOU'RE, LIKE, A LAWYER?
YEAH.

(cell phone rings)

OH, HOLD ON ONE SECOND.
HOLD ON.
SURE.

HELLO?

SHE'S WEARING
A WEDDING RING, HILDA.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

THE TORN PICTURE OF MOM.
SHE'S WEARING A WEDDING RING.

SO? IT'S A PICTURE
OF MOM AND DAD.

NO, THEY WEREN'T
MARRIED IN '75,

AND DAD SAID THAT WAS
AN OLD PICTURE OF HER BOYFRIEND.

CAN YOU JUST GIVE ME
ONE SECOND?
ACTUALLY, I GOTTA GO,

BUT IF YOU NEED ANYTHING,
CALL ME. YOU KNOW,

TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS,
BEST PLACE TO FIND ME IS HERE.

I GET MY YOGA ON
8:00 EVERY MORNING.
OKAY, THANK YOU!

Hilda, are you
listening to me?

YEAH, YEAH, I HEARD YOU.
MYSTERY PHOTO.

STOP PLAYING NANCY DREW.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SELLING.

SO HOW YOU DOING?
BETTY, WHAT ARE YOUR NUMBERS?

WELL, UH, CHRISTINA BOUGHT
$10 WORTH OF PROTEIN BARS.

SHE LIKES THE TASTE. OF COURSE,
SHE EATS SHEEP'S STOMACH.

10 BUCKS? GREAT. WELL,
DAD COULD BUY A SET OF MARACAS

WHEN HE'S SENT BACK
TO MEXICO.

YOU'RE NOT WEARING
THE SECRET WEAPON, ARE YOU?

I AM COMING DOWN TO "MODE,"

AND I'M GONNA SHOW YOU
HOW IT'S DONE.

WHAT? WAIT, NO! HILDA.

OH, MY GOD.

OH, THINGS WITH NICO
ARE FINE.

ILSE'S STEAMING
HER PORES AS WE SPEAK.

GOOD. WHILE YOU'VE
BEEN PLAYING MOMMY,

I'VE BEEN PLANNING SOMETHING
FOR BRADFORD.

THAT'S RIGHT.
TODAY'S A SPECIAL DAY, HUH?

I WONDER HOW
HE'LL CELEBRATE.

I'M SURE THE WAY BRADFORD MEADE
AND FEY SOMMERS

ALWAYS CELEBRATED
THEIR BIRTHDAYS--TOGETHER.

ANYTHING I CAN DO TO HELP?

NO. IT'S A BIRTHDAY DATE
FOR TWO ONLY.

I AM MORE CONCERNED

with what
you have planned for Daniel.

He seems to finding
his footing there these days.

YOU DO REALIZE IT WILL BE
IMPOSSIBLE FOR US

TO TAKE OVER THE COMPANY

IF HE'S GOT
ANY POWER THERE.

I KNOW. THE LITTLE NUGGET
REMAINS A THREAT TO OUR PLANS.

BUT SHORT OF TAKING
A BAT TO HIS KNEES...

I LIKE WHERE YOU'RE GOING.

IT JUST OCCURRED TO ME,

MAYBE THE ONE THING
WE CAN EXPLOIT

IS THE PERSON WHO'S BEEN
PROPPING HIM UP ALL THIS TIME.

(gasps)

IT'S AN EMERGENCY--

BERGMANS. SHOPLIFTING. NICO!

SHE MADE ME FEEL
LIKE A COMPLETE ASS.

WOMEN DON'T TREAT ME
LIKE THAT.

NOT THE WOMEN
YOU USUALLY DATE.

DIDN'T I ASK YOU
TO FIND OUT WHO SHE WAS?

YES, I'M SORRY.
SOME THINGS CAME UP.

BESIDES, A NO-SHIRT HOTTIE
WITH AN ACCENT?

DANIEL, THAT'S EVERY MODEL
WHO WALKS THROUGH THIS OFFICE.

YOU COULD HAVE BEEN
A LITTLE BIT MORE SPECIFIC.

DANIEL, SOFIA REYES. SHE--
SHE'S A BEST-SELLING AUTHOR.

THE "TIMES" PROFILED HER
LAST MONTH.

AND, OH, YEAH.
ABC NEWS REPORTED RUMORS

OF THIS MAGAZINE LAUNCH
LAST WEEK.

BOOKS, NEWSPAPERS, ABC NEWS.

I PAY ATTENTION
TO WHICH OF THOSE?

NONE.

EXACTLY. SHE THINKS I'M NOTHING
BUT AN UNQUALIFIED HIMBO

WHO GOT THE JOB
BECAUSE OF MY FATHER.

DON'T SAY ANYTHING.
BETTY, THIS WOMAN

HAD ME FIGURED OUT
LIKE NO ONE I'VE EVER MET.

SHE WAS TEN STEPS AHEAD OF ME
ON EVERY POINT.

SO JUST APOLOGIZE.

AH, I CAN'T JUST APOLOGIZE.
I MEAN, IT'S GOTTA BE SMARTER.

YOU KNOW, SKILLFUL.

SOMETHING... PROFOUND.

JEWELRY!

CALL NIGEL OVER AT TIFFANY.
TELL HIM TO SEND OVER THE USUAL.

OH, MISS SLATER,
THERE YOU ARE.

YOU PUT ME IN HERE.

WELL, THERE MUST HAVE
BEEN SOME MISTAKE.

OBVIOUSLY, YOU WERE
COMPLETELY UNAWARE

THE DRESS HAD BEEN
PLACED IN YOUR BAG.

NOT REALLY.
I SHOVED IT IN THERE.

BUT CLEARLY, YOU THOUGHT
YOU'D PAID FOR IT.

WE'LL JUST FORGET
THIS WHOLE MESS.

YOU TALKED TO MY MOTHER,
DIDN'T YOU?

THIS STORE
CONSIDERS MS. SLATER

TO BE ONE
OF ITS DEAREST FRIENDS.

AS SHE DOES YOU.

OH. SHE SENT HER BITCH.

I'LL LEAVE
YOU TWO ALONE.

NICO...

MARC.

DID YOU REALLY THINK
THAT IMITATING

THAT VERY SPECIAL EPISODE
OF "PUNKY BREWSTER"

WAS GONNA GET
YOUR MOTHER'S ATTENTION?

SO... THIS IS IT, HUH?

LOOKS LIKE A GAY VERSION
OF "STAR TREK."

SO YOU READY
TO START SELLING?

ARE YOU READY
TO START LISTENING?

NO, I DID NOT COME HERE
FOR THAT.

HILDA, LOOK AT THIS HAND.
THIS DOES NOT BELONG TO DAD.

THE PIGMENTATION
IS ALL WRONG--

PIGMENTATION?
ARE YOU SELLING HerbaLux,

OR ARE YOU GETTING
AN ONLINE FORENSICS DEGREE?
HILDA--

NO. THE MORE WE ARGUE,
THE LESS WE SELL.

ARE YOU SERIOUS ABOUT THIS?
BECAUSE I TRIED.

IT IS JUST REALLY DEMEANING.
I WOULD PUT ON A CHICKEN SUIT
AND STAND ON THE CORNER

IF WE COULD MAKE THE TYPE
OF CASH YOU'D MAKE HERE.

COME ON. IT'S FOR DAD.

FINE, BUT LOSE
THAT STUPID CUTOUT.

OH, NO, YOU DID NOT
JUST INSULT MELANIE.

FIVE... FOUR...

THREE... TWO...

10 POUNDS?

IS THAT, LIKE, FOR REAL?

♪♪♪

(record needle scratches)
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

ACTUALLY, UH,
YOU SEE, IT'S, UH...

DO YOU REALIZE HOW MANY RULES
YOU'VE BROKEN?

OH, REALLY? CAN YOU TELL ME
WHAT SUBCHAPTER 20

OF ARTICLE, CHAPTER 27...

THE CONSTITUTION SAYS
FREEDOM OF ASSEMBLY.

HOW CUTE. CESAR CHAVEZ
IN A PUSH-UP BRA.

THIS IS PRIVATE PROPERTY,
SWEETHEART.

PACK UP YOUR STUFF
AND GET OUT.

AND YOU, IN MY OFFICE.

NOW!

CANDACE BUSHNELL
WANTS TO PITCH YOU A STORY

ON POWER WOMEN IN MANHATTAN.

TELL HER TO CALL
WHEN SHE GETS AN ORIGINAL IDEA.

MULTITASKING?

OH, MY NEW FRIEND,
DANIEL MEADE.

FRIEND?
IT DIDN'T SEEM TOO FRIENDLY

WHEN YOU SENT THIS GIFT
BACK TO MY OFFICE.

THE NECKLACE.
IT'S ABSOLUTELY LOVELY.

BUT NOT FOR ME.

NOT YOUR TASTE?

NO, NOT FOR ME.

IT'S VERY GENERIC, DANIEL.

IT'S THE KIND OF GIFT
YOU GIVE

TO THE GIRL YOU JUST BANGED,

OR THE ONE YOU WANNA BANG.

WHOA, CAN WE BACK UP
A SECOND?

YOU CLEARLY HAVE
THE WRONG IMPRESSION OF ME.

REALLY?
REALLY.

LARA?

YOU KNOW, I... THOUGHT
I RECOGNIZED YOU.

(Wilhelmina) DANIEL DOESN'T HAVE
TO KNOW ABOUT THIS.

SECRETS CAN STAY
BETWEEN FRIENDS, RIGHT?

FRIENDS?

WELL, AT "MODE," I THINK
OF ALL OF US AS FAMILY...

AND FAMILY STICKS TOGETHER

THROUGH THE GOOD TIMES
AND THE BAD.

DO YOU KNOW RODRIGO
IN STYLES?

SURE. HE HAS GREAT TASTE.

IMPECCABLE,

BUT YOU WOULDN'T KNOW THAT
IF AN ANONYMOUS DONOR

HADN'T PAID HIS WAY
THROUGH DESIGN SCHOOL.

BETTY...

STRONG PEOPLE ARE THE ONES
WHO ASK FOR HELP.

UM...

MY FATHER, UH...

IS GOING THROUGH SOME...

SOME LEGAL PROBLEMS,

AND MY FAMILY WAS TOLD

THAT FOR A GOOD,
SUPPOSEDLY GREAT, LAWYER,

IT WOULD COST US $20,000.

WELL, BETTY, I HAVE A DAUGHTER
I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR,

JUST AS YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING

FOR YOUR FATHER, I'M SURE.

WHAT DO YOU WANT IN RETURN?

IS THAT SOMETHING
YOU ASK FAMILY?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FEY.

SO SORRY. I WISH YOU KNEW
HOW MUCH I MISSED YOU.

(footsteps approach)

FEY?

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?

IT'S BLOOD MONEY. IT'S HER WAY
OF GETTING TO DANIEL.

ONCE YOU CASH THAT,
YOU BELONG TO HER.

NO, I KNOW THAT,

BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT NUMBER ONE
ON MY "MUST" LIST IS?

GETTING MY DAD A LAWYER.

THIS COULD BE THE ANSWER
TO MY FAMILY'S PROBLEMS.

THAT'S WHAT THEY SAY
IN THE MOVIES,

THEN THEY HAVE TO KILL SOMEONE
OR SLEEP WITH THEM OR BOTH.
AND MY DAD--

ENOUGH ABOUT
THE MYSTERY PHOTO.

ENOUGH ABOUT
THE EVIL QUEEN'S CHECK.

SO WHAT AM I
SUPPOSED TO DO?

IT'S HALF PRICE NIGHT
HERE AT THE RACK,

WHICH IS WHY
I DRAGGED YOU HERE--TO LET GO.

WHICH IS WHY I'M MAKING THAT
THE NUMBER ONE PRIORITY

ON YOUR "MUST" LIST TONIGHT.
WELL, THAT'S EASIER SAID
THAN DONE.

WHY DO YOU THINK
GOD INVENTED ALCOHOL?

(Tahiti 80) ♪ COME AND GET IT,
COME AND GET IT NOW ♪

♪ THERE'S A BIG DAY
WAITING FOR YOU ♪

EXCUSE ME.
I'LL HAVE WHAT SHE'S HAVING.

♪ SUCH A BIG DAY
WAITING FOR YOU ♪

AHH.

♪♪♪

I THOUGHT
I THREW THAT OUT.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP?

I HAD WORK TO DO.

FURS FOR THE "MUST" LIST.
CARE TO LOOK AT THEM?

FUR IS MURDER.

I BOUGHT YOU
A NICOLE MILLER FUR COAT

FOR YOUR 10th BIRTHDAY.

HOW COULD I FORGET?
IT WAS MY 11th BIRTHDAY.

AND YOU HAD ME MODEL IT
FOR A PHOTO SHOOT,

WHICH YOU DIDN'T EVEN
SHOW UP FOR.

I BELIEVE THE EXCUSE WAS DINNER
WITH OSCAR de la RENTA.

SOMEONE HAD TO CONVINCE HIM

THAT FISHNETS WERE ONLY MEANT
FOR STOCKINGS.

NICE TO KNOW YOU HAVE
PRIORITIES.

KIND OF LIKE TODAY.

OH, THAT'S RIGHT,

TODAY WAS YOUR LITTLE CRY
FOR HELP, WASN'T IT?

THAT WAS AMATEUR, DARLING.

WHEN I WAS 15,

MIKHAIL BARYSHNIKOV
CAME TO THE SALEM ACADEMY.

AFTERWARDS, I WAS CAUGHT

DOING A LITTLE DANCE
OF MY OWN FOR MISHA.

(chuckles)
NOW THAT IS ACTING OUT.

HOW PROUD YOU MUST BE.

YOU DON'T GET IT, DO YOU?
ACT OUT AS MUCH AS YOU WANT.

I DID. SEVEN SCHOOLS...

UNTIL IT FINALLY HIT ME...

UNTIL I FINALLY UNDERSTOOD.

BEING AWAY FROM HOME, BEING AWAY
FROM THE ONES YOU LOVE,

MAKES YOU STRONG,

BUILDS YOUR ARMOR.

BECAUSE IN THE END,
THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS WORLD

YOU CAN DEPEND ON
IS YOURSELF.

IT'S THE GREATEST LESSON
THE SENATOR EVER TAUGHT ME.

MOM--

BRUSH UP ON YOUR FRENCH.

YOU LEAVE FOR SCHOOL IN PARIS
TOMORROW NIGHT.

(sighs) SO...

UM...
IS EVERYTHING OKAY?

THE FLAG WAS KIND OF
AT HALF-MAST.

WOULD IT BE GENERIC
IF I SENT YOU

A NECKLACE FROM TIFFANY?

OH, NO. I LOVED IT.

YOU SENT IT TO ME
AFTER OUR FIRST NIGHT TOGETHER.

OF COURSE I DID.
AND IF I SENT TO YOU AS A...

SORT OF AN APOLOGY,
THAT'D BE OKAY, RIGHT?

WELL, THAT DEPENDS.

ARE YOU APOLOGIZING
FOR SOMETHING IN PARTICULAR?

YEAH. MAKING AN ASS
OUT OF MYSELF WITH SOFIA REYES,

THE EDITOR OF "M.Y.W."

I SENT HER A NECKLACE
AS AN APOLOGY GIFT,

AND SHE CALLED ME OUT
ON IT.

OH. SO THE WHOLE APOLOGY THING
WAS ABOUT HER,

NOT ME.

WHAT DO I HAVE
TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU ABOUT?

NOTHING...

I GUESS.

YOU KNOW, I'M NOT
FEELING TOO WELL.

I THINK I'M GONNA GO.

YOU OKAY?

YEAH, I, UH...

I THINK I FEEL ONE OF
THOSE 24-HOUR FLUS COMING ON.

I SHOULD GO
BEFORE I GET YOU SICK.

(speaking Spanish)

WHOOPS.

THAT STEP'S A TOUGH ONE.

WHY ARE YOU
SNEAKING IN THE BACK?

ARE YOU DRUNK?

YEAH, A LITTLE BIT.
I'M GOING TO BED.

NO, NO, NO, NO, COME ON.
LET ME GET YOU SOME WATER.

NO, I'M FINE.
COME ON.

DAD, LET ME GO!
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?
WHAT'S GOING ON?

TALK TO ME!
TALK TO YOU?

WHY DON'T YOU TALK TO ME?
WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME

WHY MOM IS WEARING
A WEDDING BAND IN THIS PICTURE?

OR WHO'S THE GUY IN THE PHOTO
WITH HER, REALLY?

(sighs)

THERE YOU GO.

I DON'T HAVE
TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO YOU.

I'M YOUR FATHER.
THEN ACT LIKE IT.

I'VE ALWAYS LOOKED UP TO YOU,
DAD.

RIGHT, WRONG,
I COULD JUST TAKE YOUR LEAD.

NOW I'M LOST.

A LITTLE LESS SLAMMING,
PLEASE.

MM-HMM.

HERE.
YOU'RE GONNA NEED THIS.

THANKS.

SO...
DAD LEFT EARLY THIS MORNING.

I DON'T REALLY WANT
TO TALK ABOUT THIS.

WELL, IT'S A LITTLE TOO LATE
FOR THAT NOW.

I HEARD
WHAT YOU SAID LAST NIGHT.

SO DID HALF OF REGO PARK.
I'M SORRY.

APOLOGIZING TO ME ISN'T
GONNA CHANGE WHAT HAPPENED.

WHAT WENT ON AFTER I LEFT
THE OFFICE YESTERDAY?

I GOT PUNISHED.

IS THIS REAL, OR IS THIS
ONE OF THOSE ED McMAHON THINGS?

IT'LL CASH. 20 GRAND.

SO CASH IT.
THIS IS THE ANSWER--

HILDA, LOOK CLOSER.

WILHELMINA SLATER?

OH, THAT STUCK-UP--

EXACTLY.

SHE'LL WANT ME
TO SELL DANIEL OUT

SO SHE CAN TAKE HIS JOB.

HER MONEY, MY SOUL.

LOOK, I'M GONNA TRY TO FIGURE
SOMETHING ELSE OUT, OKAY?

SEE IF THERE'S ANOTHER WAY.

BUT THIS MIGHT BE
OUR ONLY OPTION.

(dials cell phone)

CAN I GET THE NUMBER
FOR FASHION TV, PLEASE?

(elevator bell dings)

(doors close)

(rumbling)

WHAT THE HELL
JUST HAPPENED?

YOU'RE GETTING BACK AT ME,
AREN'T YOU?

FOR YESTERDAY?
YOU PLANNED THIS.

PLANNED THIS?
ARE YOU S--YEAH.

I GOT A SIDE JOB
WITH THE ELEVATOR UNION.

REALLY? I'LL TAKE THE STAIRS
NEXT TIME.

DO YOU ALWAYS
GET THE LAST WORD IN?
ONLY WITH YOU, BABY.

GREAT. LAST TIME THIS HAPPENED
WAS FOUR HOURS

OF KEVIN FEDERLINE
TRYING TO CORNROW MY HAIR.

NO RECEPTION. WHAT NOW?

I THINK WE'RE BETWEEN FLOORS.
IF I COULD JUST GET UP THERE,

I COULD PRY THE DOOR OPEN
ON THE NEXT FLOOR.

(sighs) SOMEBODY'S SEEN
"DIE HARD" TOO MANY TIMES.

OH! GOD FORBID
YOU WRINKLE YOUR JACKET.

LISTEN, HOW ABOUT
WE DO THE OBVIOUS?

COME ON. GIVE ME A BOOST.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

ON YOUR KNEES.

AND, DANIEL, DON'T LOOK UP.

DON'T FLATTER YOURSELF.

GOOD, 'CAUSE I'M
NOT WEARING ANY UNDERWEAR.

(Sofia grunting)

(whirring)
AAH!

YOU OKAY?

YEAH.

(elevator bell dings)

YOU LOOKED, DIDN'T YOU?

(doors open)

HILDA.

YOU GONNA MAKE ME
LOSE ANOTHER FREE TOWEL?

NO, I REALLY WANTED
TO TALK TO YOU.

UM... HAVE YOU EVER DONE
ANY IMMIGRATION WORK?

IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD?

AND BESIDES,
ONCE I GOT MY DEGREE,

MY UNCLE ABRAHAM
TURNED HIS PLACE

INTO THE ISRAELI
UNDERGROUND RAILROAD.

YOU IN SOME KIND OF TROUBLE?

IF I TELL YOU SOMETHING,

DO WE HAVE THAT
ATTORNEY-CLIENT PRIVILEGE THING?

THAT ONLY WORKS
IF I'M YOUR LAWYER.

YOU KNOW, BUT FOR NOW, YOU GOT
SOMETHING STRONGER THAN THAT--

MY WORD. AND FOR THAT,
IT'LL ONLY COST YOU

A CUP OF COFFEE
AND A BIALY.

COME ON. I DIDN'T FEEL
LIKE WORKING OUT ANYWAY.

STILL HAVEN'T CASHED IT,
I SEE.

UM, NO, I HAVEN'T
REALLY HAD A CHANCE.

OR HAVEN'T MADE
THE EFFORT?

STEEL YOURSELF, BETTY.

THINK ABOUT
WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU.

THAT'S HOW WE SURVIVE
IN THIS BUSINESS.

WILHELMINA, YOU MIGHT WANT
TO GET DOWN TO THE LOBBY,

LIKE, RIGHT NOW. IT'S NICO.

YOU, TOO. I THINK WE MIGHT
ACTUALLY SEE A LIVE EXECUTION.

(Nico)
OPEN YOUR EYES, PEOPLE.

IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP.

THE "MUST MODE" ISSUE PROMOTES
THE UNWARRANTED SLAUGHTER

OF INNOCENT ANIMALS.

AND IT IS THE FAULT
OF ONE WOMAN--

WILHELMINA SLATER!

NICO, PLEASE,
YOU'RE CAUSING A SCENE.

GREAT. CAN'T WAIT TO SEE

HOW WILHELMINA SLATER
WILL HANDLE THIS ONE.

SO SORRY I'M LATE.

THANK YOU FOR COMING.

AH, GOOD TO SEE YOU.

NICO, STEP INTO
THE GOOD LIGHT.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

THE "MUST" DEBATE
OF 2007.

ANIMAL RIGHTS
VERSUS FASHION RIGHTS--

JUST WHO IS RIGHT?

WELL, YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TO WAIT

UNTIL THE "MUST MODE" ISSUE
IS ON SALE, JANUARY 2007.

THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR COMING. GOOD-BYE.

(speaking indistinctly)

YOU WIN.
I'LL GO TO SCHOOL IN FRANCE,

ANYWHERE YOU WANT,

BUT I'M NOT GOING QUIETLY.

WE'LL TALK UPSTAIRS.

NO! WE'LL TALK NOW.

I AM YOUR MOTHER.

MOTHER? THEN MAYBE
YOU SHOULD ACT LIKE IT.

BUT I GUESS YOU DON'T HAVE
A CLUE WHERE TO START.

I MEAN, HAVE YOU EVER EVEN
CALLED THE SENATOR "DAD"?

NEVER, HUH?

IS THAT ARMOR SO THICK YOU CAN'T
EVEN FEEL ANYTHING ANYMORE?

WAS THAT THE GOAL?

THEN CONGRATULATIONS.

YOU'RE PUTTING TOGETHER
YOUR "MUST MODE" ISSUE.

THINGS YOU MUST DO.

YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR NUMBER ONE
"MUST" SHOULD BE?

LEARNING HOW
TO BE A MOTHER.

I APPRECIATE
YOUR KINDNESS,

BUT I CAN'T CASH THAT.

OF COURSE YOU CAN'T.

GOOD LUCK WITH
YOUR FAMILY SITUATION, BETTY.

(sighs) THEY'RE NEVER EASY.

I JUST WANTED
TO SAY GOOD-BYE.

I THINK YOU SAID ENOUGH
DOWNSTAIRS.

MARC BOOKED YOU
A FLIGHT FOR PARIS.

YOU LEAVE TONIGHT AT 9:00.

I'LL GO BACK TO YOUR PLACE
AND PACK MY STUFF.

NICO, CONTRARY
TO WHAT YOU MIGHT THINK,

I DO LOVE YOU.

AND I... I ONLY WANT
WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU.

YOU WANT
WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU.

ALL RIGHT. YEAH.

HEY.

I HAD IT.

YOUR LOST WATCH. YOU LEFT IT
AT MY PLACE LAST WEEK.

SURPRISE. RIGHT?

YOU NEVER EVEN THOUGHT
TO CONSIDER ME.

I'M JUST
A LATE NIGHT CALL TO YOU.

YOU NEED TO FIND
WHATEVER IT IS

YOU'RE LOOKING FOR, DANIEL.

I JUST KNOW NOW
THAT IT'S NOT ME.

I'M--I'M SORRY.

AMANDA...

(door slams)

WELL?
I CHECKED IT OUT. NOTHING.

THE SECURITY CAMERAS
AT THE CEMETERY

DIDN'T CATCH A THING.

NO FEY SOMMERS
HANGING OUT AT HER CRYPT.

I SAW HER.
I'M SURE OF IT.

HOW MANY TIMES I GOTTA
SAY THIS? SHE'S DEAD.

YOU'RE GOING CRAZY,
YOU KNOW THAT?
DAMN IT, I SAW HER.

WHATEVER, OLD MAN.

(dials cell phone)

YEAH, IT'S ME.

REMEMBER THAT ASSOCIATE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT?

WE NEED TO HAVE
A LONG CONVERSATION ABOUT HIM.

(box rustles)

(sighs)

DAD.

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE DANCED
AT MY QUINCEAÑERA,

AND I BROKE MY HEEL?

AND I WAS SO UPSET,
I WANTED TO RUN AWAY,

BUT YOU WOULDN'T LET ME.

YOU JUST HELD ME TIGHTER,
AND WE KEPT ON DANCING.

YOU'RE OUR ROCK, DAD.

AND I'M SORRY
FOR WHAT I SAID

AND HOW I ACTED.

I'M JUST GONNA
HAVE TO FORGIVE AND FORGET,

AND WHATEVER IT IS, YOU DON'T
OWE US AN EXPLANATION.

(sighs)

RAMIRO VASQUEZ.

THE MAN IN THE PICTURE.

YOUR MOTHER
WAS MARRIED TO HIM.

SIT.

HE WAS A...
A WEALTHY MAN.

I WAS HIS CHEF.

WHENEVER I WOULD
COOK FOOD FOR THEM, I...

I ALWAYS HOPED YOUR MOTHER
WOULD LOOK MY WAY.

ONE NIGHT, UH, SHE DID,

AND AFTER THAT,
WE FELL IN LOVE.

DAD, IF THIS IS
TOO HARD FOR YOU...

NO, NO, I...

I OWE THIS TO YOU.

I COULD ONLY
SIT BACK SO LONG

AND LET HIM TREAT HER
THE WAY HE DID.

I REMEMBER
HEARING HER SCREAMING,

HER CRYING,
WHEN HE HIT HER,

AND FINALLY ONE NIGHT,
I COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

(sighs) NEXT THING I KNOW,

HE'D PULLED A KNIFE.

SO I...

I HIT HIM.

JUST KEPT HITTING HIM.

AFTER THAT, WE RAN...

AND I NEVER LOOKED BACK,

BECAUSE I VOWED
I'D NEVER TAKE MY EYES

OFF YOUR MOTHER AGAIN.

I NEVER APPLIED
FOR A GREEN CARD OR AMNESTY

BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID

THEY'D SEND ME BACK.

I KILLED RAMIRO VASQUEZ.