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1
00:00:00,935 --> 00:00:03,187
You guys are useless.
What are you even doing?
2
00:00:03,198 --> 00:00:04,797
I'd like to see you
do something for once.
3
00:00:04,808 --> 00:00:06,942
- What, are you scared?
- All right, here we go.
4
00:00:06,953 --> 00:00:08,820
- What's going on, shit face?
- Eat a dick, Penisi.
5
00:00:08,955 --> 00:00:10,755
Hey, check yourself, Polonsky.
6
00:00:10,757 --> 00:00:13,457
- Check yourself, Crystal.
- All right, all right.
7
00:00:13,468 --> 00:00:14,940
- Jerry.
- Terry.
8
00:00:14,951 --> 00:00:16,352
- Nice to see you.
- You as well.
9
00:00:16,363 --> 00:00:17,620
What brings you out?
10
00:00:17,631 --> 00:00:19,163
Looks like we have a
jurisdictional problem.
11
00:00:19,165 --> 00:00:21,566
Yeah, he wants us to
take care of these guys,
12
00:00:21,577 --> 00:00:23,377
but they're his problem, not ours.
13
00:00:23,388 --> 00:00:24,751
- Drunks, huh?
- Yep.
14
00:00:24,762 --> 00:00:25,961
Looks like a police problem.
15
00:00:25,972 --> 00:00:27,439
- Exactly.
- What's with the wet pants?
16
00:00:27,450 --> 00:00:29,450
The wet your pants challenge, bitch!
17
00:00:29,474 --> 00:00:31,086
- [LAUGHTER]
- He called you a bitch!
18
00:00:31,097 --> 00:00:32,835
- [LAUGHTER]
- What's that supposed to mean?
19
00:00:32,846 --> 00:00:35,047
What, you never heard
of it, Chief Queef?
20
00:00:35,181 --> 00:00:37,983
[CHUCKLES] Step one,
you piss your pants.
21
00:00:37,994 --> 00:00:40,976
Step two, film it. [LAUGHS]
22
00:00:40,987 --> 00:00:42,402
It's a new social media craze.
23
00:00:42,413 --> 00:00:44,580
You piss yourself in an
unexpected place and film it.
24
00:00:44,591 --> 00:00:45,924
All the influencers are doing it.
25
00:00:45,926 --> 00:00:47,592
Kylie Jenner pissed her yoga pants
26
00:00:47,603 --> 00:00:50,044
at London Bridge last
week. Broke the internet.
27
00:00:50,055 --> 00:00:52,321
- It was pretty dope.
- Have you done it?
28
00:00:52,332 --> 00:00:53,819
I'd rather not say.
29
00:00:53,830 --> 00:00:57,593
We wet ourselves five times
at the Tacoma Terriers Game
30
00:00:57,604 --> 00:01:00,672
- and three times just now.
- [LAUGHTER]
31
00:01:00,807 --> 00:01:02,340
They are not getting in my ambulance.
32
00:01:02,351 --> 00:01:03,550
- Yeah, they are.
- Yeah, they are.
33
00:01:03,561 --> 00:01:05,387
Public intoxication, graffiti,
34
00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:07,002
vandalism... take 'em to jail.
35
00:01:07,013 --> 00:01:10,949
Well, I'm sorry to have
to play this card, but...
36
00:01:10,951 --> 00:01:12,817
Guys...
37
00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:15,447
- I'm gonna have to take you to jail.
- Thank you.
38
00:01:15,458 --> 00:01:17,191
For doing the wet your pants challenge?
39
00:01:17,624 --> 00:01:19,824
Be cool, brah. Social meeds.
40
00:01:19,835 --> 00:01:22,101
Or you could tell these firefighters
41
00:01:22,112 --> 00:01:24,312
about your chest pain.
42
00:01:24,430 --> 00:01:25,697
I don't have chest pain.
43
00:01:25,832 --> 00:01:27,365
Or you can tell these firefighters
44
00:01:27,376 --> 00:01:29,709
about your chest pain, and legally,
45
00:01:29,836 --> 00:01:33,105
they have to take you to
the er instead of jail.
46
00:01:33,116 --> 00:01:34,249
No, no.
47
00:01:34,383 --> 00:01:35,631
BOTH: We have chest pain!
48
00:01:35,642 --> 00:01:36,841
Ah, my chest!
49
00:01:36,977 --> 00:01:38,977
- Oh!
- Ow, my chest!
50
00:01:38,979 --> 00:01:40,779
- Yeah!
- You heard it.
51
00:01:40,914 --> 00:01:44,516
Chest pains, or as I
call it, incarceritis.
52
00:01:44,590 --> 00:01:46,299
No, no chance. We're
not taking these guys.
53
00:01:46,310 --> 00:01:48,043
- Absolutely not.
- Nope, he's right.
54
00:01:48,054 --> 00:01:49,321
We gotta take 'em. Load 'em up.
55
00:01:49,332 --> 00:01:50,798
Are you kidding me? Come on.
56
00:01:51,057 --> 00:01:52,724
We have no choice. Those are the rules.
57
00:01:52,765 --> 00:01:54,632
- Load 'em up.
- Chief.
58
00:01:54,754 --> 00:01:56,421
- All right, Granny.
- Cap.
59
00:01:56,432 --> 00:01:57,926
Might want to put on a life jacket
60
00:01:57,937 --> 00:01:59,604
for the waterworks. [LAUGHS]
61
00:01:59,866 --> 00:02:01,666
And by water, he means piss.
62
00:02:01,668 --> 00:02:03,001
- Yeah.
- Oh, really?
63
00:02:03,003 --> 00:02:05,670
Wait, wait, wait, take a video of me
64
00:02:05,672 --> 00:02:08,206
wetting myself in the ambulance.
65
00:02:08,274 --> 00:02:10,008
No, I just cleaned that ambulance out.
66
00:02:10,076 --> 00:02:12,877
- No.
- Hey, you mind? Just one.
67
00:02:13,013 --> 00:02:14,412
- Come on.
- Want it vertical.
68
00:02:14,548 --> 00:02:16,881
- Oh, shit.
- Ah, my phone's all wet!
69
00:02:17,007 --> 00:02:19,475
- [LAUGHS]
- Come on, let's go. Hurry up.
70
00:02:19,486 --> 00:02:21,553
[BOTH IMITATING SIRENS]
71
00:02:21,688 --> 00:02:24,556
[FOREIGNER'S "HOT BLOODED"]
72
00:02:24,691 --> 00:02:26,197
? ?
73
00:02:26,398 --> 00:02:29,898
- Synced and corrected by naFraC -
- www.addic7ed.com -
74
00:02:30,030 --> 00:02:32,897
? Well, I'm hot-blooded ?
75
00:02:32,899 --> 00:02:35,500
? Check it and see ?
76
00:02:35,502 --> 00:02:38,903
? I got a fever of 103 ?
77
00:02:39,039 --> 00:02:40,839
? I'm hot-blooded ?
78
00:02:42,797 --> 00:02:45,130
[SLAMMING GAVEL]
79
00:02:45,197 --> 00:02:48,466
Hear ye, hear ye,
this kangaroo court is now in session.
80
00:02:48,601 --> 00:02:50,801
Let justice be served
for the crimes committed
81
00:02:50,803 --> 00:02:53,604
within these walls, may
they be real or perceived.
82
00:02:54,103 --> 00:02:55,794
Mm, good word, Your Honor.
83
00:02:55,805 --> 00:02:57,272
- [CHUCKLES]
- Thank you very much, Bailiff.
84
00:02:57,283 --> 00:02:59,684
My first kangaroo court.
I'm a little nervous.
85
00:02:59,695 --> 00:03:01,294
Eh, don't worry about it, probie.
86
00:03:01,296 --> 00:03:03,964
It's all in good fun. Nobody
takes it too seriously.
87
00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:05,642
Bailiff, you may call the first case.
88
00:03:05,901 --> 00:03:08,301
All right, Your Honor,
the court of Station 24
89
00:03:08,303 --> 00:03:10,371
recognizes Lucy McConky.
90
00:03:10,578 --> 00:03:12,436
Aha.
91
00:03:12,908 --> 00:03:16,710
Your Honor, theft is a heinous crime,
92
00:03:16,721 --> 00:03:18,696
and no thievery is lower
93
00:03:18,707 --> 00:03:21,187
than firefighter on firefighter theft.
94
00:03:21,272 --> 00:03:22,738
- Mm.
- You can say that again.
95
00:03:22,788 --> 00:03:25,932
- Deplorable.
- As someone who enjoys looking "noice,"
96
00:03:26,312 --> 00:03:29,714
I recently bought a
very expensive bottle
97
00:03:29,725 --> 00:03:32,325
of shampoo to add extra body to my hair.
98
00:03:32,327 --> 00:03:35,863
Someone in this station
has been stealing
99
00:03:35,990 --> 00:03:38,256
that very expensive shampoo.
100
00:03:38,267 --> 00:03:40,601
Your Honor, I bring before the court
101
00:03:40,612 --> 00:03:44,948
the case of the people
versus Ike Crystal!
102
00:03:45,208 --> 00:03:48,009
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
103
00:03:48,063 --> 00:03:51,198
BOTH: Murmur, murmur, murmur, murmur.
104
00:03:51,319 --> 00:03:54,721
Your Honor, two weeks
ago, I bought this bottle
105
00:03:54,732 --> 00:03:57,284
of Maurice Pasqual Extra Volumizing
106
00:03:57,295 --> 00:04:01,831
Ultra full body shampoo for $189.99.
107
00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:05,017
$189? For shampoo?
108
00:04:05,028 --> 00:04:06,894
May I remind you that
you're the judge right now
109
00:04:07,030 --> 00:04:08,896
- and not my father?
- Yeah, but that's crazy.
110
00:04:08,898 --> 00:04:10,297
- [CHUCKLES]
- what's in that thing, gold?
111
00:04:10,433 --> 00:04:12,165
Well, it's pretty common
for high-end shampoo
112
00:04:12,167 --> 00:04:14,101
- these days, Your Honor.
- Is that right, Bailiff?
113
00:04:14,103 --> 00:04:16,904
Indeed, and that right there
is the low end of the high end.
114
00:04:16,906 --> 00:04:19,440
Shut the front door! Maybe I am crazy.
115
00:04:19,451 --> 00:04:20,904
No, no, you're not crazy.
116
00:04:20,915 --> 00:04:22,767
Thank you for your
shampoo expertise, Bailiff.
117
00:04:22,778 --> 00:04:24,111
Well, I appreciate your appreciation
118
00:04:24,113 --> 00:04:26,113
- of my expertise.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE]
119
00:04:26,249 --> 00:04:29,383
As you might note, the
bottle is almost empty.
120
00:04:29,484 --> 00:04:30,684
[BOTTLE RATTLES]
121
00:04:30,853 --> 00:04:32,453
- Inspect that, Bailiff.
- Yes, Sir.
122
00:04:32,588 --> 00:04:34,055
[BOTTLE RATTLES]
123
00:04:34,066 --> 00:04:35,780
- Yep, that's empty.
- I thought the same thing.
124
00:04:35,791 --> 00:04:38,125
- Mm-hmm.
- Ike asked me to use it,
125
00:04:38,127 --> 00:04:40,461
and I declined given its lofty price.
126
00:04:40,596 --> 00:04:44,665
Soon, the levels began to lower
and his hair became fluffier.
127
00:04:44,713 --> 00:04:46,713
Objection. Circumstantial.
128
00:04:46,768 --> 00:04:48,701
Sustained. Very good, Ike.
129
00:04:49,004 --> 00:04:50,604
- That's good legalese.
- Yeah!
130
00:04:50,673 --> 00:04:51,996
- Murmur, murmur, murmur.
- Murmur, murmur.
131
00:04:52,007 --> 00:04:53,941
Your Honor, I would like to call
132
00:04:53,943 --> 00:04:55,676
to the stand an expert witness,
133
00:04:56,014 --> 00:04:58,002
Andres Mickleberry!
134
00:04:58,013 --> 00:04:59,613
[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC]
135
00:04:59,749 --> 00:05:01,482
Mickleberry, are you familiar
136
00:05:01,617 --> 00:05:03,684
with Maurice Pasqual Extra Volumizing
137
00:05:03,819 --> 00:05:05,218
Ultra full body shampoo?
138
00:05:05,354 --> 00:05:07,821
I am. My mom uses it.
It smells like home.
139
00:05:07,957 --> 00:05:09,556
Mickleberry, will you smell Ike's hair
140
00:05:09,683 --> 00:05:11,149
and tell me what it smells like?
141
00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:12,693
I don't think we need
to do that, Your Honor.
142
00:05:12,704 --> 00:05:14,138
- I'll allow it.
- Mm.
143
00:05:15,831 --> 00:05:18,165
[SNIFFS DEEPLY]
144
00:05:18,176 --> 00:05:20,108
Ah, dios m�o.
145
00:05:20,369 --> 00:05:23,492
Maurice Pasqual. I'd bet my life on it.
146
00:05:23,503 --> 00:05:25,964
Objection! Uh, speculation.
147
00:05:25,975 --> 00:05:27,680
He is an expert witness. Overruled.
148
00:05:27,691 --> 00:05:29,266
[CHUCKLES] He is an expert.
149
00:05:29,277 --> 00:05:30,677
- Yeah.
- Good call, Your Honor.
150
00:05:30,688 --> 00:05:32,153
He had his nose in that thing
151
00:05:32,247 --> 00:05:34,047
- like it was another dog's ass.
- [LAUGHS]
152
00:05:34,049 --> 00:05:36,517
Yes, I think he could
smell what he was thinking.
153
00:05:36,528 --> 00:05:38,728
[BOTH LAUGH]
154
00:05:38,974 --> 00:05:43,289
And, Your Honor, I actually
saw Ike use the shampoo.
155
00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:45,049
- What?
- Murmur, murmur.
156
00:05:45,060 --> 00:05:48,061
BOTH: Murmur, murmur, murmur, murmur.
157
00:05:48,243 --> 00:05:49,976
We were showering after a call
158
00:05:49,987 --> 00:05:51,987
when Ike mentioned his dry hair.
159
00:05:51,998 --> 00:05:56,068
Ugh, these fires make my
hair so thin and flat and dry!
160
00:05:56,403 --> 00:05:58,271
- Does that happen to you?
- Not really.
161
00:05:58,273 --> 00:05:59,473
[BOTTLE WHISTLES]
162
00:05:59,733 --> 00:06:01,800
Thanks a lot, Obama.
163
00:06:01,811 --> 00:06:04,878
? ?
164
00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:08,279
Oh, hello, you. [LAUGHS]
165
00:06:08,530 --> 00:06:10,008
Ike, don't! That's Lucy's.
166
00:06:10,019 --> 00:06:11,522
Yeah, no shit it's Lucy's.
167
00:06:11,533 --> 00:06:13,733
Chick shampoo fucking rules.
168
00:06:13,795 --> 00:06:15,606
You shouldn't steal from other people.
169
00:06:15,617 --> 00:06:18,168
It's fine. Don't worry about it.
I do this all the time.
170
00:06:18,179 --> 00:06:20,018
"Ike, that's not yours. That's Lucy's."
171
00:06:20,029 --> 00:06:22,029
Shut up, bro! God.
172
00:06:22,051 --> 00:06:23,917
I think that stuff is really expensive.
173
00:06:24,033 --> 00:06:25,699
By the way, if you say
anything about this,
174
00:06:25,701 --> 00:06:27,368
I'm gonna waste you, bro.
175
00:06:27,379 --> 00:06:28,778
Snap, crackle, pop!
176
00:06:29,163 --> 00:06:31,363
- Murmur, murmur.
- Murmur, murmur, murmur.
177
00:06:31,374 --> 00:06:32,974
Ugh, how do we know he didn't do it?
178
00:06:32,985 --> 00:06:34,766
He probably used it. Look
at his wavy, curly hair.
179
00:06:34,777 --> 00:06:36,777
- Look at how wavy it is.
- I have naturally curly hair.
180
00:06:36,912 --> 00:06:39,780
Your Honor, we know
it wasn't Mickleberry.
181
00:06:39,915 --> 00:06:42,649
- And how do we know that?
- Because Mickleberry is allergic
182
00:06:42,651 --> 00:06:44,651
to Maurice Pasqual shampoo!
183
00:06:44,706 --> 00:06:45,906
It's true.
184
00:06:45,917 --> 00:06:47,317
I'm allergic to the cleansing agent
185
00:06:47,328 --> 00:06:50,329
in Maurice Pasqual,
cocamidopropyl betaine.
186
00:06:50,579 --> 00:06:52,113
It irritates my skin.
187
00:06:52,374 --> 00:06:54,677
Here's a note from my
mother stating such.
188
00:06:55,398 --> 00:06:56,930
Bailiff, enter that into evidence.
189
00:06:57,066 --> 00:06:59,066
Entering to evidence, Your Honor.
190
00:06:59,068 --> 00:07:01,068
"My son is allergic
to the cleansing agent
191
00:07:01,070 --> 00:07:05,072
cocamidopropyl betaine
in Maurice Pasqual shampoo.
192
00:07:05,208 --> 00:07:08,062
Maria Mickleberry."
Looks legit, Your Honor.
193
00:07:08,073 --> 00:07:09,339
It does look legit.
194
00:07:09,745 --> 00:07:11,144
All right. [SLAMS GAVEL]
195
00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:14,147
- This court is ready to rule.
- Judge ruling.
196
00:07:14,550 --> 00:07:18,770
I hereby find Ike Crystal
guilty of the crime of theft.
197
00:07:18,781 --> 00:07:19,846
What?
198
00:07:19,857 --> 00:07:21,124
I sentence you to reimburse
199
00:07:21,357 --> 00:07:25,559
Lucy McConky $189.99
using the Cashmo app.
200
00:07:25,561 --> 00:07:27,361
Wait, whoa, whoa, that's a lot of money!
201
00:07:27,496 --> 00:07:29,363
Furthermore, upon recess of this court,
202
00:07:29,498 --> 00:07:31,432
I order you to wash that shampoo
203
00:07:31,443 --> 00:07:34,644
right out of your
hair, and I also ban you
204
00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:36,588
from using any volumizing shampoo
205
00:07:36,704 --> 00:07:38,444
- For one month.
- Yes.
206
00:07:38,455 --> 00:07:41,108
What? I need to volumize.
I'm gonna look ridiculous.
207
00:07:41,110 --> 00:07:42,776
- [SLAMS GAVEL]
- Next case.
208
00:07:42,787 --> 00:07:43,986
- [ALARM BLARING]
- Alarm, Engine 24.
209
00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:46,438
Rescue 42, respond to unknown odor.
210
00:07:46,449 --> 00:07:49,250
Okay, this court is adjourned
until the crew returns.
211
00:07:49,261 --> 00:07:51,662
Thank you very much,
everybody. That was fun.
212
00:07:51,673 --> 00:07:54,073
? ?
213
00:07:54,332 --> 00:07:55,513
[SLAMMING GAVEL]
214
00:07:55,741 --> 00:07:58,792
Hear ye, hear ye,
this kangaroo court is back in session.
215
00:07:58,803 --> 00:08:01,185
- Kangaroo court sucks.
- You suck.
216
00:08:01,196 --> 00:08:02,520
- You suck.
- You suck.
217
00:08:02,531 --> 00:08:04,398
And the court will now recognize
218
00:08:04,409 --> 00:08:06,343
Captain Edward Penisi Jr.
219
00:08:06,602 --> 00:08:08,869
- [SMOOTH GUITAR RIFF]
- ? Eddie ?
220
00:08:09,004 --> 00:08:10,604
Your Honor...
221
00:08:10,812 --> 00:08:15,414
we can all agree that treason
is a most heinous crime.
222
00:08:15,478 --> 00:08:17,348
Oh, very heinous. Isn't
that right, Bailiff?
223
00:08:17,359 --> 00:08:18,870
Most heinous crime I know.
224
00:08:18,881 --> 00:08:20,347
And if we sit by
225
00:08:20,349 --> 00:08:22,149
while acts of treason are committed,
226
00:08:22,151 --> 00:08:25,218
- are we not ourselves traitors?
- We are traitors.
227
00:08:25,220 --> 00:08:27,220
- Isn't that right, Bailiff?
- Dirty dogs.
228
00:08:27,222 --> 00:08:29,290
It is with this weighing on my heart
229
00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:33,560
That I accuse Chief
Terry McConky of treason.
230
00:08:33,562 --> 00:08:36,430
- Murmur, murmur.
- Murmur, murmur, major murmur.
231
00:08:36,441 --> 00:08:37,582
What? How?
232
00:08:37,593 --> 00:08:39,023
I am accusing you
233
00:08:39,034 --> 00:08:41,502
of being friends with the enemy,
234
00:08:41,513 --> 00:08:43,180
police captain Jerry Polonsky.
235
00:08:43,318 --> 00:08:45,163
- Murmur, murmur.
- Oh, shit, murmur, murmur.
236
00:08:45,174 --> 00:08:47,240
- Oh.
- Murmur, baby, murmur.
237
00:08:47,376 --> 00:08:50,644
That's ridiculous. Me
friends with Polonsky?
238
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:51,900
I can't wait to hear this one.
239
00:08:51,911 --> 00:08:53,469
If it pleases the court,
240
00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:56,174
the prosecution will
now present its case.
241
00:08:56,185 --> 00:08:57,954
It pleases the court.
Isn't that right, Bailiff?
242
00:08:57,965 --> 00:08:59,497
Oh, from the rootie to the tootie.
243
00:08:59,508 --> 00:09:00,808
This'll be good.
244
00:09:01,885 --> 00:09:04,282
[SLAMS GAVEL]
245
00:09:04,293 --> 00:09:07,227
Oh, ye, oh, ye. Court is in session.
246
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,773
The honorable Bailiff Granfield Smith
247
00:09:09,784 --> 00:09:11,222
will now preside over the case
248
00:09:11,233 --> 00:09:13,367
of the people versus Terry McConky.
249
00:09:13,378 --> 00:09:14,426
Counselor.
250
00:09:14,437 --> 00:09:16,971
Chief McConky, you stand accused
251
00:09:16,982 --> 00:09:19,688
of being friends with
Captain Jerry Polonsky.
252
00:09:19,699 --> 00:09:21,299
Oh, boy, this is gonna be a classic.
253
00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:23,359
- Oh, yeah.
- Okay, go ahead.
254
00:09:23,370 --> 00:09:25,370
Terry, today I am going to prove
255
00:09:25,381 --> 00:09:27,762
that the two of you have a
wealth of things in common,
256
00:09:27,773 --> 00:09:30,908
and that that has lead you to
become secret close friends.
257
00:09:30,919 --> 00:09:32,377
[LAUGHS] Come on.
258
00:09:32,388 --> 00:09:34,637
He's a redhead. They
smell like mothballs.
259
00:09:34,648 --> 00:09:35,847
I mean, give me a break.
260
00:09:35,858 --> 00:09:38,058
- Why would I be friends with that?
- Mm-hmm, indeed.
261
00:09:38,060 --> 00:09:39,326
The other day,
262
00:09:39,462 --> 00:09:41,128
when we greeted the cops with insults
263
00:09:41,263 --> 00:09:43,063
at the incarceritis imbroglio,
264
00:09:43,074 --> 00:09:47,002
you not only greeted
Polonsky with a very friendly,
265
00:09:47,013 --> 00:09:50,328
"nice to see you," but
you also sided with him
266
00:09:50,339 --> 00:09:53,007
against the TFD, did you not?
267
00:09:53,018 --> 00:09:55,085
- Murmur, murmur.
- Murmur, murmur, murmur.
268
00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:57,678
Okay, that's what this is about?
269
00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,413
Great. All right. Let's do it.
270
00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:01,575
Terry, would you state for me the name
271
00:10:01,586 --> 00:10:03,684
of your favorite country and western
272
00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:05,152
music recording artist please?
273
00:10:05,154 --> 00:10:07,087
Well, I think we all
know it's Leigh Weigh.
274
00:10:07,089 --> 00:10:09,089
And did you not attend
the Leigh Weigh concert
275
00:10:09,225 --> 00:10:10,957
last month on the 29th?
276
00:10:10,959 --> 00:10:12,627
You freaking know I did.
277
00:10:12,752 --> 00:10:14,651
They closed with "Fresh Cut Grass
278
00:10:14,662 --> 00:10:16,062
And a Piece o' Ass."
279
00:10:16,073 --> 00:10:19,141
- Nobody left.
- Your Honor, exhibit A.
280
00:10:19,704 --> 00:10:21,037
Oh, great, you're a tech guy now?
281
00:10:21,048 --> 00:10:23,370
This photo was posted
to Jerry Polonsky's
282
00:10:23,506 --> 00:10:26,907
boi-oi-oing page the morning
after the Leigh Weigh concert.
283
00:10:27,033 --> 00:10:29,100
So what? He's a weigh watcher.
284
00:10:29,111 --> 00:10:30,177
Maybe I should be friends with him.
285
00:10:30,188 --> 00:10:31,522
But hold on one second.
286
00:10:31,780 --> 00:10:33,580
I think you were there together.
287
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:34,990
[LAUGHTER]
288
00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:36,867
- Oh, murmur, murmur.
- Murmur, murmur, murmur.
289
00:10:36,878 --> 00:10:38,510
- It's a good one.
- Whoo!
290
00:10:38,521 --> 00:10:39,865
Yeah, I went straight from work.
291
00:10:39,876 --> 00:10:41,733
Chief McConky, do you recall that,
292
00:10:41,744 --> 00:10:44,010
at our most recent charity auction,
293
00:10:44,126 --> 00:10:45,860
there were two unclaimed tickets
294
00:10:45,995 --> 00:10:47,785
to the Bonney Lake Arts & Crafts Fair?
295
00:10:47,796 --> 00:10:49,930
- Can't say that I do.
- Hm, that's very interesting,
296
00:10:49,932 --> 00:10:51,131
considering that those two tickets
297
00:10:51,142 --> 00:10:52,350
were pinned to the bulletin board
298
00:10:52,361 --> 00:10:53,925
outside of your office for some time
299
00:10:53,936 --> 00:10:55,269
until they went missing.
300
00:10:55,404 --> 00:10:57,938
Objection, Your Honor. Who gives a shit?
301
00:10:57,940 --> 00:10:59,606
[LAUGHTER]
302
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:02,076
Counselor, you better be
going someplace with this.
303
00:11:02,087 --> 00:11:03,601
Oh, I am, Your Honor. I am.
304
00:11:03,612 --> 00:11:06,146
Your Honor, the Bonney
Lake Arts & Crafts Fair
305
00:11:06,282 --> 00:11:08,415
was on Saturday the 2nd of this month.
306
00:11:08,551 --> 00:11:11,618
Now, the night of the 2nd,
Chief McConky was caught
307
00:11:11,620 --> 00:11:15,222
running a red light camera
in the town of bonney lake.
308
00:11:15,233 --> 00:11:16,481
- [GASPS]
- Oh.
309
00:11:16,492 --> 00:11:19,093
- Murmur, murmur.
- Okay, so what?
310
00:11:19,104 --> 00:11:20,686
And how do you know this, counselor?
311
00:11:20,697 --> 00:11:23,764
I know this because Terry showed me
312
00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:25,223
the red light ticket photo.
313
00:11:25,234 --> 00:11:27,301
- He thought it was funny.
- Big deal.
314
00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:29,112
I think red light
photo cameras are funny.
315
00:11:29,324 --> 00:11:31,096
- It's pretty funny.
- Yeah. See?
316
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:32,439
Everyone thinks they're funny.
317
00:11:32,450 --> 00:11:35,522
The thing we never
discussed was the identity
318
00:11:35,533 --> 00:11:38,370
of this person obscured in the photo
319
00:11:38,381 --> 00:11:40,090
sitting next to Terry in his car.
320
00:11:40,101 --> 00:11:42,048
- It's probably Vicky.
- You don't recall?
321
00:11:42,050 --> 00:11:43,468
Probably Vicky.
322
00:11:43,479 --> 00:11:45,654
Lucy, what did Terry tell
you about that ticket?
323
00:11:45,665 --> 00:11:47,512
He bragged about how
he pulled some strings
324
00:11:47,523 --> 00:11:49,456
- to get out of it.
- Oh.
325
00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:52,526
Pulled some strings,
did he? Well, well, well.
326
00:11:52,801 --> 00:11:55,653
It must be very easy to
get out of a traffic ticket
327
00:11:55,664 --> 00:11:58,332
when the passenger in your
car is a police captain.
328
00:11:58,467 --> 00:12:02,069
- BOTH: Murmur, murmur, murmur.
- Murmur, murmur, murmur.
329
00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:03,880
Okay, this is stupid, all right?
330
00:12:03,919 --> 00:12:06,206
Now it's getting boring.
That was your best joke.
331
00:12:06,217 --> 00:12:07,417
Let's move on now.
332
00:12:07,428 --> 00:12:09,695
Your Honor, I demand a retrial.
333
00:12:09,706 --> 00:12:12,079
I was blatantly framed
for that shampoo crime.
334
00:12:12,081 --> 00:12:13,347
- I didn't do it.
- And if you were framed
335
00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:16,026
for the shampoo, why is
your hair so flat now?
336
00:12:16,285 --> 00:12:18,685
I... stop. I...
337
00:12:18,687 --> 00:12:22,089
[SIGHS] Look, I request a short recess
338
00:12:22,100 --> 00:12:23,815
so I can get my case in order, please.
339
00:12:23,826 --> 00:12:26,208
- Your case is over.
- But I'm innocent, I tell you!
340
00:12:26,219 --> 00:12:28,086
I'm innocent! I was framed!
341
00:12:28,097 --> 00:12:29,964
Ike, I got the chief on the ropes.
342
00:12:29,975 --> 00:12:31,556
What? Whatever, "on the ropes."
343
00:12:31,567 --> 00:12:33,100
- [ALARM BLARING]
- Fresh alarm, Engine 24...
344
00:12:33,102 --> 00:12:34,143
Okay, roll it out.
345
00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:35,954
We will resume when we return.
346
00:12:36,430 --> 00:12:38,363
- [LAUGHS]
- Oh, man.
347
00:12:38,374 --> 00:12:39,706
Did you see his face
348
00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:41,041
when you brought up
the red light ticket?
349
00:12:41,043 --> 00:12:42,183
Hysterical.
350
00:12:42,194 --> 00:12:44,235
Terry has five minutes of fun in him,
351
00:12:44,246 --> 00:12:46,647
- and then he gets cranky.
- And defensive.
352
00:12:46,783 --> 00:12:49,316
Yeah, about me saying
he's friends with Polonsky.
353
00:12:49,452 --> 00:12:50,691
Tell you what I'm gonna do.
354
00:12:50,702 --> 00:12:52,324
When we get back in
there, I am gonna hit him
355
00:12:52,335 --> 00:12:54,837
with some really stupid
stuff just to piss him off.
356
00:12:54,848 --> 00:12:57,069
- Who is in this photo?
- Probably Vicky.
357
00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:58,946
It doesn't really look like her.
358
00:12:59,087 --> 00:13:00,752
I'ma text her.
359
00:13:01,483 --> 00:13:04,017
"Were you with dad in the car
360
00:13:04,126 --> 00:13:06,260
when he got the red light ticket?"
361
00:13:06,271 --> 00:13:07,804
It's gotta be her.
362
00:13:07,815 --> 00:13:10,149
Who else would Terry go to
an arts & crafts fair with?
363
00:13:10,339 --> 00:13:12,029
She said "What ticket?"
364
00:13:12,408 --> 00:13:14,208
- Guess it's not her.
- [KNOCK AT DOOR]
365
00:13:14,343 --> 00:13:17,768
Sorry, uh, you know I didn't
use the Maurice Pasqual, right?
366
00:13:17,779 --> 00:13:20,180
- Yes, you did, Ike.
- No, I didn't, Lucy.
367
00:13:20,191 --> 00:13:22,392
- You look like a scarecrow.
- Oh, come on.
368
00:13:22,608 --> 00:13:23,999
Okay, maybe I used it once
369
00:13:24,010 --> 00:13:26,957
Because my Husky 3-in-1
Men's Body Wash was out.
370
00:13:26,968 --> 00:13:29,361
I used it one time, but
there's no way I used that much.
371
00:13:29,372 --> 00:13:31,969
That's impossible. Somebody
else is using it, okay?
372
00:13:31,980 --> 00:13:33,284
And it wasn't me, Lucy,
373
00:13:33,295 --> 00:13:35,408
so stop looking at me like
that. It wasn't... you know what?
374
00:13:35,419 --> 00:13:37,555
I'm gonna find out who,
and you can bet your ass
375
00:13:37,566 --> 00:13:39,099
I'm gonna find out, and
we're gonna solve it.
376
00:13:39,101 --> 00:13:41,035
Mickleberry caught you red-handed!
377
00:13:41,046 --> 00:13:43,246
Well, Mickleberry is a liar!
378
00:13:43,386 --> 00:13:45,163
Guys, guys, it's kangaroo court.
379
00:13:45,174 --> 00:13:47,574
- It's kangaroo court. Calm down.
- Cap, I'm calm,
380
00:13:47,585 --> 00:13:49,519
but I got robbed in
there! This is bullshit!
381
00:13:49,769 --> 00:13:51,703
Cap, can you kick him
out of our private lunch.
382
00:13:52,301 --> 00:13:53,571
Did you guys go to Blobby's without me?
383
00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:54,965
- Yeah, we did.
- Awesome.
384
00:13:54,976 --> 00:13:57,509
- You know it's my favorite.
- [LAUGHS]
385
00:13:57,520 --> 00:13:59,119
[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC]
386
00:13:59,121 --> 00:14:00,245
Blobby's sucks!
387
00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:01,722
? ?
388
00:14:01,733 --> 00:14:02,798
- [SLAMMING GAVEL]
- Oh, ye!
389
00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:04,609
Oh, ye, oh, ye, oh, ye!
390
00:14:04,994 --> 00:14:07,994
We resume the case
of the people versus Chief McConky.
391
00:14:08,119 --> 00:14:09,847
Okay, Eddie, are we gonna
keep going with this?
392
00:14:09,858 --> 00:14:11,647
I thought we got all
the laughs out of it, hm?
393
00:14:11,658 --> 00:14:13,715
Oh, Your Honor, I would like
394
00:14:13,726 --> 00:14:15,393
to call another witness to the stand.
395
00:14:15,404 --> 00:14:18,138
Oh. Hey, sorry. You
guys having a meeting?
396
00:14:18,562 --> 00:14:19,844
Well, what'd you want, Lucy?
397
00:14:19,855 --> 00:14:24,325
Your Honor, the people call
Viccolina Penisi-McConky.
398
00:14:24,336 --> 00:14:25,336
[DRAMATIC MUSICAL STING]
399
00:14:25,347 --> 00:14:27,873
Oh, no, not kangaroo court again.
400
00:14:28,009 --> 00:14:29,875
Mom, please, just one quick question.
401
00:14:29,886 --> 00:14:31,886
Yeah, but last time, Eddie accused Terry
402
00:14:31,897 --> 00:14:33,697
of wearing spanx, and then...
403
00:14:33,708 --> 00:14:35,537
then he tricked me into testifying.
404
00:14:35,548 --> 00:14:38,016
- I don't want to do that again.
- I don't wear spanx.
405
00:14:38,027 --> 00:14:40,078
- Okay, let's not talk about it.
- It's super important.
406
00:14:40,089 --> 00:14:41,804
Five minutes, that's it.
407
00:14:41,815 --> 00:14:43,488
Mrs. Penisi-McConky,
408
00:14:43,499 --> 00:14:45,232
thank you for taking time
out of your busy schedule
409
00:14:45,367 --> 00:14:47,768
- to accommodate us.
- Let's get to it, Eddie.
410
00:14:47,904 --> 00:14:49,836
Mrs. Penisi-McConky,
411
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:52,239
do you remember Terry going
to the Leigh Weigh concert
412
00:14:52,241 --> 00:14:53,708
- last month?
- Of course.
413
00:14:53,926 --> 00:14:55,660
He's still singing that
"Ass In The Grass" song.
414
00:14:55,712 --> 00:14:58,645
Honey, it's "Fresh Cut
Grass And a Piece o' Ass."
415
00:14:58,647 --> 00:15:00,070
Yeah, you know what I mean.
416
00:15:00,081 --> 00:15:02,039
I used to sing that song to
you when you rubbed my feet.
417
00:15:02,050 --> 00:15:03,914
We don't have to tell everybody that.
418
00:15:03,925 --> 00:15:06,593
Do you remember with whom
Terry went to the concert?
419
00:15:06,604 --> 00:15:08,266
- Ike.
- Yeah?
420
00:15:08,830 --> 00:15:10,340
Oh, me Ike?
421
00:15:10,351 --> 00:15:12,983
No, you're probably thinking
of a different guy named Ike.
422
00:15:12,994 --> 00:15:14,246
I actually said Mike.
423
00:15:14,257 --> 00:15:15,967
Mike Penkenten from
the treasurer's office.
424
00:15:15,978 --> 00:15:17,732
No, you said Ike.
425
00:15:17,743 --> 00:15:19,934
I specifically said
Mike. Mike Penkenten.
426
00:15:20,231 --> 00:15:23,203
- Murmur, murmur, murmur.
- No, not... not now.
427
00:15:23,205 --> 00:15:24,939
Wait, Terry, did you lie to me?
428
00:15:25,073 --> 00:15:26,873
Are you kidding me? Are
you falling for this?
429
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:27,918
This is a joke.
430
00:15:27,929 --> 00:15:31,270
Vicky, is this you
in the car with Terry?
431
00:15:32,415 --> 00:15:36,350
- No, this is a man, Eddie.
- Indeed. Indeed.
432
00:15:36,361 --> 00:15:37,875
Terry, who did you go
to the concert with?
433
00:15:37,886 --> 00:15:40,354
- Mike Penkenten!
- Who is this in this picture?
434
00:15:40,365 --> 00:15:43,348
- It's probably Mike Penkenten.
- Mike Penkenten is not a white guy.
435
00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:45,159
Okay, joke's over. Come on, all right?
436
00:15:45,294 --> 00:15:46,693
Look it... she's getting mad at me now.
437
00:15:46,829 --> 00:15:48,496
- Are you happy?
- All right, counselor.
438
00:15:48,507 --> 00:15:49,687
Where are you going with this?
439
00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:51,432
Your Honor, it is the
prosecution's belief
440
00:15:51,434 --> 00:15:53,909
that Terry McConky is
secretly attending events
441
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:55,309
with Jerry Polonsky.
442
00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:57,236
They went to the Leigh
Weigh concert together.
443
00:15:57,247 --> 00:15:59,697
They went to the Bonney Lake
Arts & Crafts Fair together,
444
00:15:59,828 --> 00:16:02,909
and if you'd look at these
two photos side-by-side,
445
00:16:02,911 --> 00:16:05,646
they reveal that the mystery passenger
446
00:16:05,648 --> 00:16:09,249
in Terry's car is none other
than his open-mouthed friend
447
00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:10,708
Jerry Polonsky.
448
00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:12,853
- Oh!
- Murmur, murmur.
449
00:16:12,989 --> 00:16:14,054
Murmur, murmur.
450
00:16:14,190 --> 00:16:15,571
Vicky, this is a joke, okay?
451
00:16:15,582 --> 00:16:17,115
This is a joke, all right?
452
00:16:17,126 --> 00:16:20,260
Your Honor, the prosecution
brings to the stand
453
00:16:20,262 --> 00:16:23,397
police captain Gerald McRainey Polonsky.
454
00:16:23,408 --> 00:16:24,541
Yeah, right.
455
00:16:25,802 --> 00:16:28,187
- He's actually here. [CHUCKLES]
- The hell do you want, Penisi?
456
00:16:28,198 --> 00:16:30,057
You said there was a
crime being committed here.
457
00:16:30,068 --> 00:16:32,130
There is... the crime of treason,
458
00:16:32,141 --> 00:16:34,275
and Terry McConky is guilty!
459
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:37,144
ALL: Murmur, murmur, murmur,
murmur, murmur, murmur, murmur.
460
00:16:37,605 --> 00:16:39,537
Yeah, we don't arrest
people for treason.
461
00:16:39,548 --> 00:16:41,716
You need to call the feds.
462
00:16:43,399 --> 00:16:45,753
[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC]
463
00:16:45,764 --> 00:16:48,698
Jerry, would you consider
yourself to be friends
464
00:16:48,709 --> 00:16:52,311
- with Terry McConky?
- Us? Friends?
465
00:16:52,495 --> 00:16:54,427
I'd sooner eat a rat, crap that out,
466
00:16:54,496 --> 00:16:57,231
eat that, crap that out,
feed that to another rat,
467
00:16:57,233 --> 00:16:58,898
and then eat that rat.
468
00:16:58,909 --> 00:17:00,308
Objection, Your Honor!
469
00:17:00,615 --> 00:17:03,081
Super gross and mildly confusing.
470
00:17:03,092 --> 00:17:05,859
Sustained, Ike, but this isn't
your case. You can't object.
471
00:17:05,870 --> 00:17:07,098
Well, now that I've got your attention,
472
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:08,919
can I just tell you, I'm innocent!
473
00:17:08,930 --> 00:17:10,797
I paid Lucy a lot of
money for that shampoo.
474
00:17:10,913 --> 00:17:12,580
- A lot of money!
- And there it is.
475
00:17:12,591 --> 00:17:13,728
- [CASH REGISTER CHIMES]
- Thanks, Ike.
476
00:17:13,739 --> 00:17:17,127
Jerry, who did you go to
the Leigh Weigh concert with?
477
00:17:17,138 --> 00:17:19,096
- Joe.
- I'm not falling for it.
478
00:17:19,107 --> 00:17:21,362
Joe mama! Ooh, ooh!
479
00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:23,441
Oh, Joe mama. That was awesome.
480
00:17:23,452 --> 00:17:25,427
Like, Joe... Joe mama.
481
00:17:25,438 --> 00:17:27,652
It's like a knock-knock joke.
Forget it, man. Try to keep up.
482
00:17:27,663 --> 00:17:29,529
Were you in Terry's car
483
00:17:29,531 --> 00:17:31,531
the night he got the
red light camera ticket?
484
00:17:31,533 --> 00:17:32,933
No, that was probably your mom.
485
00:17:33,069 --> 00:17:35,122
Oh, zing. He got her twice in a row.
486
00:17:35,133 --> 00:17:36,737
- Yeah.
- Man, he's vicious.
487
00:17:36,739 --> 00:17:38,406
I'm sorry, Terry, did
you want to be friends?
488
00:17:38,417 --> 00:17:40,485
Maybe our kids can
date again with the...
489
00:17:40,675 --> 00:17:42,274
[SINGING, TRILLING]
490
00:17:42,844 --> 00:17:44,260
- Okay.
- Hey.
491
00:17:44,271 --> 00:17:45,810
- That's offensive.
- Her mother is here.
492
00:17:45,821 --> 00:17:47,620
Oh, my God.
493
00:17:48,141 --> 00:17:49,741
Uncle Eddie, you gotta see this.
494
00:17:49,752 --> 00:17:52,620
[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]
495
00:17:52,631 --> 00:17:53,763
? ?
496
00:17:53,774 --> 00:17:55,508
[GASPS]
497
00:17:55,571 --> 00:17:57,548
All right, Cap, can you wrap this up?
498
00:17:57,559 --> 00:17:59,026
Not just yet, Your Honor.
499
00:17:59,384 --> 00:18:01,352
I call Terry McConky back to the stand.
500
00:18:01,363 --> 00:18:03,250
Okay, Eddie, joke's
over. All right? Really.
501
00:18:03,261 --> 00:18:05,420
Terry, did you recently purchase
502
00:18:05,567 --> 00:18:07,701
a wicker basket?
503
00:18:07,703 --> 00:18:09,837
[DRAMATIC MUSICAL STING]
504
00:18:09,972 --> 00:18:13,641
- I don't recall.
- Honey, yes, you did.
505
00:18:13,776 --> 00:18:14,975
It's in the bathroom.
506
00:18:14,977 --> 00:18:16,444
It's holding your boat magazines.
507
00:18:16,578 --> 00:18:18,846
Oh, thanks, honey.
508
00:18:18,857 --> 00:18:21,658
Everyone, this is Lucy's Cashmo app.
509
00:18:21,784 --> 00:18:24,852
Note the top payment, Ike
Crystal to Lucy McConky.
510
00:18:24,987 --> 00:18:27,855
Terry, are you aware
that Cashmo allows you
511
00:18:27,990 --> 00:18:29,790
to view your friends' transactions
512
00:18:29,792 --> 00:18:31,525
- as well as your own?
- How?
513
00:18:31,661 --> 00:18:33,060
That's just the way Cashmo works.
514
00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:35,463
- Everybody knows that.
- Why would they do that?
515
00:18:35,597 --> 00:18:37,262
- Social media.
- It's not social media.
516
00:18:37,273 --> 00:18:38,732
It's banking transactions.
517
00:18:38,734 --> 00:18:43,003
Terry, did you reimburse
Jerry for a wicker basket?
518
00:18:43,005 --> 00:18:46,340
? ?
519
00:18:46,342 --> 00:18:49,677
Did you or did you not
reimburse Jerry Polonsky
520
00:18:49,688 --> 00:18:51,688
for a wicker basket that you purchased
521
00:18:51,814 --> 00:18:54,414
at the Bonney Lake Arts & Crafts Fair?
522
00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:56,091
Objection! Your Honor, objection.
523
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:58,286
Overruled. I want to hear this.
524
00:18:58,466 --> 00:19:00,266
If it pleases the court...
525
00:19:00,277 --> 00:19:02,543
? ?
526
00:19:02,554 --> 00:19:05,898
Everybody, notice the bottom
payment from one month ago.
527
00:19:06,215 --> 00:19:07,881
? ?
528
00:19:07,892 --> 00:19:10,692
[ALL GASP]
529
00:19:10,732 --> 00:19:12,058
Chief.
530
00:19:13,629 --> 00:19:15,629
Dad, was Polonsky in the car with you?
531
00:19:16,010 --> 00:19:18,563
Terry, is that who you
went to the concert with?
532
00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:22,176
Terry, are you friends with Polonsky?
533
00:19:22,187 --> 00:19:23,787
That's ridiculous!
534
00:19:24,243 --> 00:19:25,979
No, I'm not friends with Polonsky.
535
00:19:25,981 --> 00:19:28,078
- You are under oath.
- No, I'm not under oath.
536
00:19:28,089 --> 00:19:30,709
- This is kangaroo court.
- Tell us the truth.
537
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:32,786
- You want the truth?
- Yeah, I want the truth.
538
00:19:32,797 --> 00:19:35,264
- You want the truth?
- Yeah, I want the truth!
539
00:19:35,371 --> 00:19:36,970
- I can't handle the truth.
- Yes.
540
00:19:37,433 --> 00:19:40,794
Yes, I went to the arts &
crafts fair with Polonsky!
541
00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:43,939
We called it our crafternoon,
and we got baskets,
542
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:47,335
and we got dreamcatchers,
and we watched glassblowing,
543
00:19:47,346 --> 00:19:49,546
and we had funnel
cake, and you know what?
544
00:19:49,557 --> 00:19:52,692
We had a great time
because we're friends!
545
00:19:53,001 --> 00:19:55,609
- We are friends.
- There, I said it.
546
00:19:55,670 --> 00:19:58,471
And I feel free now! How's that?
547
00:19:58,482 --> 00:20:00,504
How long has this been going on?
548
00:20:00,515 --> 00:20:03,601
I ran into him at the Bert
Kreisher concert in February.
549
00:20:03,612 --> 00:20:06,068
We chatted. We laughed. We hit it off.
550
00:20:06,079 --> 00:20:08,413
- He's hysterical.
- He's hysterical.
551
00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:09,757
Oh, and you know what?
552
00:20:09,892 --> 00:20:12,159
I went to the Leigh Weigh
concert with him too,
553
00:20:12,418 --> 00:20:13,885
but you'd know that if you'd just looked
554
00:20:13,896 --> 00:20:15,629
at your picture more closely.
555
00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:18,298
My reflection is in the sunglasses!
556
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,968
? ?
557
00:20:21,103 --> 00:20:23,003
I had the time of my life.
558
00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:26,040
Why have you been keeping this from us?
559
00:20:26,051 --> 00:20:28,283
He's a cop! It's like
"Romeo and Juliet."
560
00:20:28,294 --> 00:20:29,626
- With a dude every weekend?
- It's so weird.
561
00:20:29,637 --> 00:20:31,169
Besides, you're not
supposed to make friends
562
00:20:31,180 --> 00:20:32,846
- over 40 with random new people.
- Watching Netflix by myself.
563
00:20:32,848 --> 00:20:34,248
- Why is it any different?
- Nobody accepts it!
564
00:20:34,250 --> 00:20:35,849
- This is crazy!
- You think I'm weird?
565
00:20:35,860 --> 00:20:37,308
There's a tradition
of the fire department
566
00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:38,719
- hating the police.
- You guys have been
567
00:20:38,730 --> 00:20:39,898
coming at me forever!
568
00:20:39,909 --> 00:20:41,842
Order! Order in the courtroom!
569
00:20:42,043 --> 00:20:45,244
- And I don't wear spanx!
- Order! Order!
570
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:48,862
[SNIFFING]
571
00:20:49,196 --> 00:20:51,340
- Mom?
- [SNIFFS]
572
00:20:51,351 --> 00:20:53,751
Eddie, have you been using
573
00:20:53,842 --> 00:20:56,576
Maurice Pasqual Extra Volumizing
574
00:20:56,587 --> 00:20:58,816
Ultra full body shampoo?
575
00:20:58,827 --> 00:21:01,027
- What?
- Lucy uses it.
576
00:21:01,143 --> 00:21:03,343
- You were using it?
- No, it's not Maurice Pasqual.
577
00:21:03,479 --> 00:21:05,613
It's not Maurice Pasqual.
It's not Maurice Pasqual.
578
00:21:05,748 --> 00:21:09,016
[SNIFFS] I smell it All over the
place here. Wow, you guys.
579
00:21:09,027 --> 00:21:10,627
[SNIFFING] It's there. It's there.
580
00:21:10,638 --> 00:21:12,571
- We got it...
- What are you, a bloodhound?
581
00:21:12,594 --> 00:21:14,861
[SNIFFING]
582
00:21:15,111 --> 00:21:17,845
Mickleberry, you too?
583
00:21:18,019 --> 00:21:21,087
Terry, what are you paying these guys?
584
00:21:21,288 --> 00:21:22,473
What?
585
00:21:22,484 --> 00:21:24,089
You said you were allergic, bro!
586
00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:26,758
Okay, so what? It makes
my curls look awesome.
587
00:21:26,769 --> 00:21:30,838
You owe me $189.
You both owe me $189.99.
588
00:21:30,973 --> 00:21:34,574
[LAUGHS] Oh, baby, yes!
589
00:21:34,585 --> 00:21:37,320
- Wait, what... ow.
- [SNIFFS]
590
00:21:37,701 --> 00:21:41,172
I cannot believe this!
This is rampant collusion!
591
00:21:41,183 --> 00:21:43,050
He's the ringleader. He always has been.
592
00:21:43,098 --> 00:21:46,099
- Mickleberry did it!
- [SLAMMING GAVEL]
593
00:21:46,110 --> 00:21:47,977
Order in my courtroom!
594
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:52,468
Looks like I got a lot
of sentences to hand down.
595
00:21:52,479 --> 00:21:54,079
And some to retract.
596
00:21:54,262 --> 00:21:57,797
And I'm the only one
who's not a shampoo thief.
597
00:21:57,808 --> 00:21:59,741
Cap, you should be ashamed of yourself.
598
00:21:59,752 --> 00:22:01,819
Eh, I'm not sorry. My hair's sweet.
599
00:22:01,910 --> 00:22:03,509
I hope you go bald.
600
00:22:03,739 --> 00:22:06,606
Chief Terry McConky, this
court finds you guilty
601
00:22:06,742 --> 00:22:10,678
of secretly being friends
with captain Jerry Polonsky.
602
00:22:11,010 --> 00:22:13,947
We're gonna take a short recess
to figure out your punishment.
603
00:22:13,949 --> 00:22:15,316
[SLAMS GAVEL]
604
00:22:16,818 --> 00:22:19,376
Ooh, embroidered
mushrooms. Look at that.
605
00:22:19,387 --> 00:22:20,654
- Hey.
- Huh?
606
00:22:20,889 --> 00:22:22,556
- You're a fun guy.
- [LAUGHS]
607
00:22:22,725 --> 00:22:23,920
- That's a good one.
- Thank you.
608
00:22:23,931 --> 00:22:25,873
Oh, man. Ooh, candles.
609
00:22:25,884 --> 00:22:27,454
Look at this. [LAUGHS]
610
00:22:27,465 --> 00:22:29,399
I love fragrances.
611
00:22:29,410 --> 00:22:30,676
Ah. [SNIFFS]
612
00:22:30,842 --> 00:22:32,023
- Mm.
- Hit me.
613
00:22:32,034 --> 00:22:33,276
[SNIFFS]
614
00:22:33,286 --> 00:22:34,338
Sand and fog.
615
00:22:34,349 --> 00:22:36,883
- I'd bet anything.
- Oh!
616
00:22:37,003 --> 00:22:38,535
Huh? Nailed it.
617
00:22:38,546 --> 00:22:41,080
Hey, guys, wait up. Check it out.
618
00:22:41,091 --> 00:22:43,711
- Dreamcatchers, tons of 'em back there.
- Sweet.
619
00:22:43,789 --> 00:22:45,522
Also, there's a booth back there
620
00:22:45,533 --> 00:22:48,640
with homemade sleep masks
with animal faces on 'em.
621
00:22:48,715 --> 00:22:51,916
I'm talking, like, owl eyes,
racoon eyes, and whatnot.
622
00:22:51,927 --> 00:22:53,794
- Shut up.
- I've gotta get one of those.
623
00:22:53,856 --> 00:22:55,455
- Me too!
- [LAUGHTER]
624
00:22:55,743 --> 00:22:57,315
I gotta tell you something, Eddie.
625
00:22:57,326 --> 00:22:58,926
When Granny handed down that sentence
626
00:22:58,937 --> 00:23:00,591
and said that you
couldn't use hair product
627
00:23:00,602 --> 00:23:01,945
and that we should
spend the day together
628
00:23:01,956 --> 00:23:04,255
at the arts & crafts fair, I
thought it was a punishment,
629
00:23:04,266 --> 00:23:06,333
but your hair looks great,
and this has been a lot of fun.
630
00:23:06,459 --> 00:23:09,060
It really has. I have to be honest.
631
00:23:09,071 --> 00:23:12,522
I didn't think I could hang out
with a cop, specifically this cop.
632
00:23:12,533 --> 00:23:14,755
- You.
- But this has been terrific.
633
00:23:14,766 --> 00:23:16,868
Really terrific. [CHUCKLES]
634
00:23:16,959 --> 00:23:18,626
Hey, homemade bookmarks.
635
00:23:18,637 --> 00:23:19,903
- What?
- You guys read?
636
00:23:19,914 --> 00:23:21,340
- Of course.
- Okay, okay, hold on.
637
00:23:21,351 --> 00:23:23,083
- I'll get some.
- I'll catch up with you.
638
00:23:23,219 --> 00:23:24,618
Hey, anyway, I wanted to thank you
639
00:23:24,629 --> 00:23:27,029
for being so cool about
Terry and I being friends,
640
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,280
and who knows, maybe
one day, the three of us,
641
00:23:29,291 --> 00:23:31,359
maybe we'll be a trio. [CHUCKLES]
642
00:23:31,370 --> 00:23:33,238
Not on your life.
643
00:23:33,368 --> 00:23:36,770
I'm gonna bide my time
like a lion in tall grass,
644
00:23:36,781 --> 00:23:38,848
and then poof, I'm gonna eat you,
645
00:23:39,434 --> 00:23:42,169
bones and all, and you're gonna be gone,
646
00:23:42,304 --> 00:23:45,039
and no one will ever miss you.
647
00:23:45,174 --> 00:23:47,408
Hey, Terry, wait up! I love bookmarks!
648
00:23:49,531 --> 00:23:51,397
That's not a very nice
thing to say to somebody.
649
00:23:51,888 --> 00:23:53,104
Here, let's come back
here. Let's come...
650
00:23:53,115 --> 00:23:54,181
There's something I want
to show you down here.
651
00:23:54,192 --> 00:23:55,383
- Yeah.
- The dreamcatchers.
652
00:23:55,394 --> 00:23:56,501
Oh, where are the dreamcatchers?
653
00:23:56,512 --> 00:23:58,322
- They're right back here.
- Oh, great, okay.
654
00:23:58,333 --> 00:24:01,422
- Should we get Jerry or...
- Nah, nah, nah. He'll be fine.
655
00:24:01,472 --> 00:24:06,022
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