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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,935 --> 00:00:03,187 You guys are useless. What are you even doing? 2 00:00:03,198 --> 00:00:04,797 I'd like to see you do something for once. 3 00:00:04,808 --> 00:00:06,942 - What, are you scared? - All right, here we go. 4 00:00:06,953 --> 00:00:08,820 - What's going on, shit face? - Eat a dick, Penisi. 5 00:00:08,955 --> 00:00:10,755 Hey, check yourself, Polonsky. 6 00:00:10,757 --> 00:00:13,457 - Check yourself, Crystal. - All right, all right. 7 00:00:13,468 --> 00:00:14,940 - Jerry. - Terry. 8 00:00:14,951 --> 00:00:16,352 - Nice to see you. - You as well. 9 00:00:16,363 --> 00:00:17,620 What brings you out? 10 00:00:17,631 --> 00:00:19,163 Looks like we have a jurisdictional problem. 11 00:00:19,165 --> 00:00:21,566 Yeah, he wants us to take care of these guys, 12 00:00:21,577 --> 00:00:23,377 but they're his problem, not ours. 13 00:00:23,388 --> 00:00:24,751 - Drunks, huh? - Yep. 14 00:00:24,762 --> 00:00:25,961 Looks like a police problem. 15 00:00:25,972 --> 00:00:27,439 - Exactly. - What's with the wet pants? 16 00:00:27,450 --> 00:00:29,450 The wet your pants challenge, bitch! 17 00:00:29,474 --> 00:00:31,086 - [LAUGHTER] - He called you a bitch! 18 00:00:31,097 --> 00:00:32,835 - [LAUGHTER] - What's that supposed to mean? 19 00:00:32,846 --> 00:00:35,047 What, you never heard of it, Chief Queef? 20 00:00:35,181 --> 00:00:37,983 [CHUCKLES] Step one, you piss your pants. 21 00:00:37,994 --> 00:00:40,976 Step two, film it. [LAUGHS] 22 00:00:40,987 --> 00:00:42,402 It's a new social media craze. 23 00:00:42,413 --> 00:00:44,580 You piss yourself in an unexpected place and film it. 24 00:00:44,591 --> 00:00:45,924 All the influencers are doing it. 25 00:00:45,926 --> 00:00:47,592 Kylie Jenner pissed her yoga pants 26 00:00:47,603 --> 00:00:50,044 at London Bridge last week. Broke the internet. 27 00:00:50,055 --> 00:00:52,321 - It was pretty dope. - Have you done it? 28 00:00:52,332 --> 00:00:53,819 I'd rather not say. 29 00:00:53,830 --> 00:00:57,593 We wet ourselves five times at the Tacoma Terriers Game 30 00:00:57,604 --> 00:01:00,672 - and three times just now. - [LAUGHTER] 31 00:01:00,807 --> 00:01:02,340 They are not getting in my ambulance. 32 00:01:02,351 --> 00:01:03,550 - Yeah, they are. - Yeah, they are. 33 00:01:03,561 --> 00:01:05,387 Public intoxication, graffiti, 34 00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:07,002 vandalism... take 'em to jail. 35 00:01:07,013 --> 00:01:10,949 Well, I'm sorry to have to play this card, but... 36 00:01:10,951 --> 00:01:12,817 Guys... 37 00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:15,447 - I'm gonna have to take you to jail. - Thank you. 38 00:01:15,458 --> 00:01:17,191 For doing the wet your pants challenge? 39 00:01:17,624 --> 00:01:19,824 Be cool, brah. Social meeds. 40 00:01:19,835 --> 00:01:22,101 Or you could tell these firefighters 41 00:01:22,112 --> 00:01:24,312 about your chest pain. 42 00:01:24,430 --> 00:01:25,697 I don't have chest pain. 43 00:01:25,832 --> 00:01:27,365 Or you can tell these firefighters 44 00:01:27,376 --> 00:01:29,709 about your chest pain, and legally, 45 00:01:29,836 --> 00:01:33,105 they have to take you to the er instead of jail. 46 00:01:33,116 --> 00:01:34,249 No, no. 47 00:01:34,383 --> 00:01:35,631 BOTH: We have chest pain! 48 00:01:35,642 --> 00:01:36,841 Ah, my chest! 49 00:01:36,977 --> 00:01:38,977 - Oh! - Ow, my chest! 50 00:01:38,979 --> 00:01:40,779 - Yeah! - You heard it. 51 00:01:40,914 --> 00:01:44,516 Chest pains, or as I call it, incarceritis. 52 00:01:44,590 --> 00:01:46,299 No, no chance. We're not taking these guys. 53 00:01:46,310 --> 00:01:48,043 - Absolutely not. - Nope, he's right. 54 00:01:48,054 --> 00:01:49,321 We gotta take 'em. Load 'em up. 55 00:01:49,332 --> 00:01:50,798 Are you kidding me? Come on. 56 00:01:51,057 --> 00:01:52,724 We have no choice. Those are the rules. 57 00:01:52,765 --> 00:01:54,632 - Load 'em up. - Chief. 58 00:01:54,754 --> 00:01:56,421 - All right, Granny. - Cap. 59 00:01:56,432 --> 00:01:57,926 Might want to put on a life jacket 60 00:01:57,937 --> 00:01:59,604 for the waterworks. [LAUGHS] 61 00:01:59,866 --> 00:02:01,666 And by water, he means piss. 62 00:02:01,668 --> 00:02:03,001 - Yeah. - Oh, really? 63 00:02:03,003 --> 00:02:05,670 Wait, wait, wait, take a video of me 64 00:02:05,672 --> 00:02:08,206 wetting myself in the ambulance. 65 00:02:08,274 --> 00:02:10,008 No, I just cleaned that ambulance out. 66 00:02:10,076 --> 00:02:12,877 - No. - Hey, you mind? Just one. 67 00:02:13,013 --> 00:02:14,412 - Come on. - Want it vertical. 68 00:02:14,548 --> 00:02:16,881 - Oh, shit. - Ah, my phone's all wet! 69 00:02:17,007 --> 00:02:19,475 - [LAUGHS] - Come on, let's go. Hurry up. 70 00:02:19,486 --> 00:02:21,553 [BOTH IMITATING SIRENS] 71 00:02:21,688 --> 00:02:24,556 [FOREIGNER'S "HOT BLOODED"] 72 00:02:24,691 --> 00:02:26,197 ? ? 73 00:02:26,398 --> 00:02:29,898 - Synced and corrected by naFraC - - www.addic7ed.com - 74 00:02:30,030 --> 00:02:32,897 ? Well, I'm hot-blooded ? 75 00:02:32,899 --> 00:02:35,500 ? Check it and see ? 76 00:02:35,502 --> 00:02:38,903 ? I got a fever of 103 ? 77 00:02:39,039 --> 00:02:40,839 ? I'm hot-blooded ? 78 00:02:42,797 --> 00:02:45,130 [SLAMMING GAVEL] 79 00:02:45,197 --> 00:02:48,466 Hear ye, hear ye, this kangaroo court is now in session. 80 00:02:48,601 --> 00:02:50,801 Let justice be served for the crimes committed 81 00:02:50,803 --> 00:02:53,604 within these walls, may they be real or perceived. 82 00:02:54,103 --> 00:02:55,794 Mm, good word, Your Honor. 83 00:02:55,805 --> 00:02:57,272 - [CHUCKLES] - Thank you very much, Bailiff. 84 00:02:57,283 --> 00:02:59,684 My first kangaroo court. I'm a little nervous. 85 00:02:59,695 --> 00:03:01,294 Eh, don't worry about it, probie. 86 00:03:01,296 --> 00:03:03,964 It's all in good fun. Nobody takes it too seriously. 87 00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:05,642 Bailiff, you may call the first case. 88 00:03:05,901 --> 00:03:08,301 All right, Your Honor, the court of Station 24 89 00:03:08,303 --> 00:03:10,371 recognizes Lucy McConky. 90 00:03:10,578 --> 00:03:12,436 Aha. 91 00:03:12,908 --> 00:03:16,710 Your Honor, theft is a heinous crime, 92 00:03:16,721 --> 00:03:18,696 and no thievery is lower 93 00:03:18,707 --> 00:03:21,187 than firefighter on firefighter theft. 94 00:03:21,272 --> 00:03:22,738 - Mm. - You can say that again. 95 00:03:22,788 --> 00:03:25,932 - Deplorable. - As someone who enjoys looking "noice," 96 00:03:26,312 --> 00:03:29,714 I recently bought a very expensive bottle 97 00:03:29,725 --> 00:03:32,325 of shampoo to add extra body to my hair. 98 00:03:32,327 --> 00:03:35,863 Someone in this station has been stealing 99 00:03:35,990 --> 00:03:38,256 that very expensive shampoo. 100 00:03:38,267 --> 00:03:40,601 Your Honor, I bring before the court 101 00:03:40,612 --> 00:03:44,948 the case of the people versus Ike Crystal! 102 00:03:45,208 --> 00:03:48,009 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 103 00:03:48,063 --> 00:03:51,198 BOTH: Murmur, murmur, murmur, murmur. 104 00:03:51,319 --> 00:03:54,721 Your Honor, two weeks ago, I bought this bottle 105 00:03:54,732 --> 00:03:57,284 of Maurice Pasqual Extra Volumizing 106 00:03:57,295 --> 00:04:01,831 Ultra full body shampoo for $189.99. 107 00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:05,017 $189? For shampoo? 108 00:04:05,028 --> 00:04:06,894 May I remind you that you're the judge right now 109 00:04:07,030 --> 00:04:08,896 - and not my father? - Yeah, but that's crazy. 110 00:04:08,898 --> 00:04:10,297 - [CHUCKLES] - what's in that thing, gold? 111 00:04:10,433 --> 00:04:12,165 Well, it's pretty common for high-end shampoo 112 00:04:12,167 --> 00:04:14,101 - these days, Your Honor. - Is that right, Bailiff? 113 00:04:14,103 --> 00:04:16,904 Indeed, and that right there is the low end of the high end. 114 00:04:16,906 --> 00:04:19,440 Shut the front door! Maybe I am crazy. 115 00:04:19,451 --> 00:04:20,904 No, no, you're not crazy. 116 00:04:20,915 --> 00:04:22,767 Thank you for your shampoo expertise, Bailiff. 117 00:04:22,778 --> 00:04:24,111 Well, I appreciate your appreciation 118 00:04:24,113 --> 00:04:26,113 - of my expertise. - [BOTH CHUCKLE] 119 00:04:26,249 --> 00:04:29,383 As you might note, the bottle is almost empty. 120 00:04:29,484 --> 00:04:30,684 [BOTTLE RATTLES] 121 00:04:30,853 --> 00:04:32,453 - Inspect that, Bailiff. - Yes, Sir. 122 00:04:32,588 --> 00:04:34,055 [BOTTLE RATTLES] 123 00:04:34,066 --> 00:04:35,780 - Yep, that's empty. - I thought the same thing. 124 00:04:35,791 --> 00:04:38,125 - Mm-hmm. - Ike asked me to use it, 125 00:04:38,127 --> 00:04:40,461 and I declined given its lofty price. 126 00:04:40,596 --> 00:04:44,665 Soon, the levels began to lower and his hair became fluffier. 127 00:04:44,713 --> 00:04:46,713 Objection. Circumstantial. 128 00:04:46,768 --> 00:04:48,701 Sustained. Very good, Ike. 129 00:04:49,004 --> 00:04:50,604 - That's good legalese. - Yeah! 130 00:04:50,673 --> 00:04:51,996 - Murmur, murmur, murmur. - Murmur, murmur. 131 00:04:52,007 --> 00:04:53,941 Your Honor, I would like to call 132 00:04:53,943 --> 00:04:55,676 to the stand an expert witness, 133 00:04:56,014 --> 00:04:58,002 Andres Mickleberry! 134 00:04:58,013 --> 00:04:59,613 [UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC] 135 00:04:59,749 --> 00:05:01,482 Mickleberry, are you familiar 136 00:05:01,617 --> 00:05:03,684 with Maurice Pasqual Extra Volumizing 137 00:05:03,819 --> 00:05:05,218 Ultra full body shampoo? 138 00:05:05,354 --> 00:05:07,821 I am. My mom uses it. It smells like home. 139 00:05:07,957 --> 00:05:09,556 Mickleberry, will you smell Ike's hair 140 00:05:09,683 --> 00:05:11,149 and tell me what it smells like? 141 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:12,693 I don't think we need to do that, Your Honor. 142 00:05:12,704 --> 00:05:14,138 - I'll allow it. - Mm. 143 00:05:15,831 --> 00:05:18,165 [SNIFFS DEEPLY] 144 00:05:18,176 --> 00:05:20,108 Ah, dios m�o. 145 00:05:20,369 --> 00:05:23,492 Maurice Pasqual. I'd bet my life on it. 146 00:05:23,503 --> 00:05:25,964 Objection! Uh, speculation. 147 00:05:25,975 --> 00:05:27,680 He is an expert witness. Overruled. 148 00:05:27,691 --> 00:05:29,266 [CHUCKLES] He is an expert. 149 00:05:29,277 --> 00:05:30,677 - Yeah. - Good call, Your Honor. 150 00:05:30,688 --> 00:05:32,153 He had his nose in that thing 151 00:05:32,247 --> 00:05:34,047 - like it was another dog's ass. - [LAUGHS] 152 00:05:34,049 --> 00:05:36,517 Yes, I think he could smell what he was thinking. 153 00:05:36,528 --> 00:05:38,728 [BOTH LAUGH] 154 00:05:38,974 --> 00:05:43,289 And, Your Honor, I actually saw Ike use the shampoo. 155 00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:45,049 - What? - Murmur, murmur. 156 00:05:45,060 --> 00:05:48,061 BOTH: Murmur, murmur, murmur, murmur. 157 00:05:48,243 --> 00:05:49,976 We were showering after a call 158 00:05:49,987 --> 00:05:51,987 when Ike mentioned his dry hair. 159 00:05:51,998 --> 00:05:56,068 Ugh, these fires make my hair so thin and flat and dry! 160 00:05:56,403 --> 00:05:58,271 - Does that happen to you? - Not really. 161 00:05:58,273 --> 00:05:59,473 [BOTTLE WHISTLES] 162 00:05:59,733 --> 00:06:01,800 Thanks a lot, Obama. 163 00:06:01,811 --> 00:06:04,878 ? ? 164 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:08,279 Oh, hello, you. [LAUGHS] 165 00:06:08,530 --> 00:06:10,008 Ike, don't! That's Lucy's. 166 00:06:10,019 --> 00:06:11,522 Yeah, no shit it's Lucy's. 167 00:06:11,533 --> 00:06:13,733 Chick shampoo fucking rules. 168 00:06:13,795 --> 00:06:15,606 You shouldn't steal from other people. 169 00:06:15,617 --> 00:06:18,168 It's fine. Don't worry about it. I do this all the time. 170 00:06:18,179 --> 00:06:20,018 "Ike, that's not yours. That's Lucy's." 171 00:06:20,029 --> 00:06:22,029 Shut up, bro! God. 172 00:06:22,051 --> 00:06:23,917 I think that stuff is really expensive. 173 00:06:24,033 --> 00:06:25,699 By the way, if you say anything about this, 174 00:06:25,701 --> 00:06:27,368 I'm gonna waste you, bro. 175 00:06:27,379 --> 00:06:28,778 Snap, crackle, pop! 176 00:06:29,163 --> 00:06:31,363 - Murmur, murmur. - Murmur, murmur, murmur. 177 00:06:31,374 --> 00:06:32,974 Ugh, how do we know he didn't do it? 178 00:06:32,985 --> 00:06:34,766 He probably used it. Look at his wavy, curly hair. 179 00:06:34,777 --> 00:06:36,777 - Look at how wavy it is. - I have naturally curly hair. 180 00:06:36,912 --> 00:06:39,780 Your Honor, we know it wasn't Mickleberry. 181 00:06:39,915 --> 00:06:42,649 - And how do we know that? - Because Mickleberry is allergic 182 00:06:42,651 --> 00:06:44,651 to Maurice Pasqual shampoo! 183 00:06:44,706 --> 00:06:45,906 It's true. 184 00:06:45,917 --> 00:06:47,317 I'm allergic to the cleansing agent 185 00:06:47,328 --> 00:06:50,329 in Maurice Pasqual, cocamidopropyl betaine. 186 00:06:50,579 --> 00:06:52,113 It irritates my skin. 187 00:06:52,374 --> 00:06:54,677 Here's a note from my mother stating such. 188 00:06:55,398 --> 00:06:56,930 Bailiff, enter that into evidence. 189 00:06:57,066 --> 00:06:59,066 Entering to evidence, Your Honor. 190 00:06:59,068 --> 00:07:01,068 "My son is allergic to the cleansing agent 191 00:07:01,070 --> 00:07:05,072 cocamidopropyl betaine in Maurice Pasqual shampoo. 192 00:07:05,208 --> 00:07:08,062 Maria Mickleberry." Looks legit, Your Honor. 193 00:07:08,073 --> 00:07:09,339 It does look legit. 194 00:07:09,745 --> 00:07:11,144 All right. [SLAMS GAVEL] 195 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:14,147 - This court is ready to rule. - Judge ruling. 196 00:07:14,550 --> 00:07:18,770 I hereby find Ike Crystal guilty of the crime of theft. 197 00:07:18,781 --> 00:07:19,846 What? 198 00:07:19,857 --> 00:07:21,124 I sentence you to reimburse 199 00:07:21,357 --> 00:07:25,559 Lucy McConky $189.99 using the Cashmo app. 200 00:07:25,561 --> 00:07:27,361 Wait, whoa, whoa, that's a lot of money! 201 00:07:27,496 --> 00:07:29,363 Furthermore, upon recess of this court, 202 00:07:29,498 --> 00:07:31,432 I order you to wash that shampoo 203 00:07:31,443 --> 00:07:34,644 right out of your hair, and I also ban you 204 00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:36,588 from using any volumizing shampoo 205 00:07:36,704 --> 00:07:38,444 - For one month. - Yes. 206 00:07:38,455 --> 00:07:41,108 What? I need to volumize. I'm gonna look ridiculous. 207 00:07:41,110 --> 00:07:42,776 - [SLAMS GAVEL] - Next case. 208 00:07:42,787 --> 00:07:43,986 - [ALARM BLARING] - Alarm, Engine 24. 209 00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:46,438 Rescue 42, respond to unknown odor. 210 00:07:46,449 --> 00:07:49,250 Okay, this court is adjourned until the crew returns. 211 00:07:49,261 --> 00:07:51,662 Thank you very much, everybody. That was fun. 212 00:07:51,673 --> 00:07:54,073 ? ? 213 00:07:54,332 --> 00:07:55,513 [SLAMMING GAVEL] 214 00:07:55,741 --> 00:07:58,792 Hear ye, hear ye, this kangaroo court is back in session. 215 00:07:58,803 --> 00:08:01,185 - Kangaroo court sucks. - You suck. 216 00:08:01,196 --> 00:08:02,520 - You suck. - You suck. 217 00:08:02,531 --> 00:08:04,398 And the court will now recognize 218 00:08:04,409 --> 00:08:06,343 Captain Edward Penisi Jr. 219 00:08:06,602 --> 00:08:08,869 - [SMOOTH GUITAR RIFF] - ? Eddie ? 220 00:08:09,004 --> 00:08:10,604 Your Honor... 221 00:08:10,812 --> 00:08:15,414 we can all agree that treason is a most heinous crime. 222 00:08:15,478 --> 00:08:17,348 Oh, very heinous. Isn't that right, Bailiff? 223 00:08:17,359 --> 00:08:18,870 Most heinous crime I know. 224 00:08:18,881 --> 00:08:20,347 And if we sit by 225 00:08:20,349 --> 00:08:22,149 while acts of treason are committed, 226 00:08:22,151 --> 00:08:25,218 - are we not ourselves traitors? - We are traitors. 227 00:08:25,220 --> 00:08:27,220 - Isn't that right, Bailiff? - Dirty dogs. 228 00:08:27,222 --> 00:08:29,290 It is with this weighing on my heart 229 00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:33,560 That I accuse Chief Terry McConky of treason. 230 00:08:33,562 --> 00:08:36,430 - Murmur, murmur. - Murmur, murmur, major murmur. 231 00:08:36,441 --> 00:08:37,582 What? How? 232 00:08:37,593 --> 00:08:39,023 I am accusing you 233 00:08:39,034 --> 00:08:41,502 of being friends with the enemy, 234 00:08:41,513 --> 00:08:43,180 police captain Jerry Polonsky. 235 00:08:43,318 --> 00:08:45,163 - Murmur, murmur. - Oh, shit, murmur, murmur. 236 00:08:45,174 --> 00:08:47,240 - Oh. - Murmur, baby, murmur. 237 00:08:47,376 --> 00:08:50,644 That's ridiculous. Me friends with Polonsky? 238 00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:51,900 I can't wait to hear this one. 239 00:08:51,911 --> 00:08:53,469 If it pleases the court, 240 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:56,174 the prosecution will now present its case. 241 00:08:56,185 --> 00:08:57,954 It pleases the court. Isn't that right, Bailiff? 242 00:08:57,965 --> 00:08:59,497 Oh, from the rootie to the tootie. 243 00:08:59,508 --> 00:09:00,808 This'll be good. 244 00:09:01,885 --> 00:09:04,282 [SLAMS GAVEL] 245 00:09:04,293 --> 00:09:07,227 Oh, ye, oh, ye. Court is in session. 246 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,773 The honorable Bailiff Granfield Smith 247 00:09:09,784 --> 00:09:11,222 will now preside over the case 248 00:09:11,233 --> 00:09:13,367 of the people versus Terry McConky. 249 00:09:13,378 --> 00:09:14,426 Counselor. 250 00:09:14,437 --> 00:09:16,971 Chief McConky, you stand accused 251 00:09:16,982 --> 00:09:19,688 of being friends with Captain Jerry Polonsky. 252 00:09:19,699 --> 00:09:21,299 Oh, boy, this is gonna be a classic. 253 00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:23,359 - Oh, yeah. - Okay, go ahead. 254 00:09:23,370 --> 00:09:25,370 Terry, today I am going to prove 255 00:09:25,381 --> 00:09:27,762 that the two of you have a wealth of things in common, 256 00:09:27,773 --> 00:09:30,908 and that that has lead you to become secret close friends. 257 00:09:30,919 --> 00:09:32,377 [LAUGHS] Come on. 258 00:09:32,388 --> 00:09:34,637 He's a redhead. They smell like mothballs. 259 00:09:34,648 --> 00:09:35,847 I mean, give me a break. 260 00:09:35,858 --> 00:09:38,058 - Why would I be friends with that? - Mm-hmm, indeed. 261 00:09:38,060 --> 00:09:39,326 The other day, 262 00:09:39,462 --> 00:09:41,128 when we greeted the cops with insults 263 00:09:41,263 --> 00:09:43,063 at the incarceritis imbroglio, 264 00:09:43,074 --> 00:09:47,002 you not only greeted Polonsky with a very friendly, 265 00:09:47,013 --> 00:09:50,328 "nice to see you," but you also sided with him 266 00:09:50,339 --> 00:09:53,007 against the TFD, did you not? 267 00:09:53,018 --> 00:09:55,085 - Murmur, murmur. - Murmur, murmur, murmur. 268 00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:57,678 Okay, that's what this is about? 269 00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,413 Great. All right. Let's do it. 270 00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:01,575 Terry, would you state for me the name 271 00:10:01,586 --> 00:10:03,684 of your favorite country and western 272 00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:05,152 music recording artist please? 273 00:10:05,154 --> 00:10:07,087 Well, I think we all know it's Leigh Weigh. 274 00:10:07,089 --> 00:10:09,089 And did you not attend the Leigh Weigh concert 275 00:10:09,225 --> 00:10:10,957 last month on the 29th? 276 00:10:10,959 --> 00:10:12,627 You freaking know I did. 277 00:10:12,752 --> 00:10:14,651 They closed with "Fresh Cut Grass 278 00:10:14,662 --> 00:10:16,062 And a Piece o' Ass." 279 00:10:16,073 --> 00:10:19,141 - Nobody left. - Your Honor, exhibit A. 280 00:10:19,704 --> 00:10:21,037 Oh, great, you're a tech guy now? 281 00:10:21,048 --> 00:10:23,370 This photo was posted to Jerry Polonsky's 282 00:10:23,506 --> 00:10:26,907 boi-oi-oing page the morning after the Leigh Weigh concert. 283 00:10:27,033 --> 00:10:29,100 So what? He's a weigh watcher. 284 00:10:29,111 --> 00:10:30,177 Maybe I should be friends with him. 285 00:10:30,188 --> 00:10:31,522 But hold on one second. 286 00:10:31,780 --> 00:10:33,580 I think you were there together. 287 00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:34,990 [LAUGHTER] 288 00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:36,867 - Oh, murmur, murmur. - Murmur, murmur, murmur. 289 00:10:36,878 --> 00:10:38,510 - It's a good one. - Whoo! 290 00:10:38,521 --> 00:10:39,865 Yeah, I went straight from work. 291 00:10:39,876 --> 00:10:41,733 Chief McConky, do you recall that, 292 00:10:41,744 --> 00:10:44,010 at our most recent charity auction, 293 00:10:44,126 --> 00:10:45,860 there were two unclaimed tickets 294 00:10:45,995 --> 00:10:47,785 to the Bonney Lake Arts & Crafts Fair? 295 00:10:47,796 --> 00:10:49,930 - Can't say that I do. - Hm, that's very interesting, 296 00:10:49,932 --> 00:10:51,131 considering that those two tickets 297 00:10:51,142 --> 00:10:52,350 were pinned to the bulletin board 298 00:10:52,361 --> 00:10:53,925 outside of your office for some time 299 00:10:53,936 --> 00:10:55,269 until they went missing. 300 00:10:55,404 --> 00:10:57,938 Objection, Your Honor. Who gives a shit? 301 00:10:57,940 --> 00:10:59,606 [LAUGHTER] 302 00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:02,076 Counselor, you better be going someplace with this. 303 00:11:02,087 --> 00:11:03,601 Oh, I am, Your Honor. I am. 304 00:11:03,612 --> 00:11:06,146 Your Honor, the Bonney Lake Arts & Crafts Fair 305 00:11:06,282 --> 00:11:08,415 was on Saturday the 2nd of this month. 306 00:11:08,551 --> 00:11:11,618 Now, the night of the 2nd, Chief McConky was caught 307 00:11:11,620 --> 00:11:15,222 running a red light camera in the town of bonney lake. 308 00:11:15,233 --> 00:11:16,481 - [GASPS] - Oh. 309 00:11:16,492 --> 00:11:19,093 - Murmur, murmur. - Okay, so what? 310 00:11:19,104 --> 00:11:20,686 And how do you know this, counselor? 311 00:11:20,697 --> 00:11:23,764 I know this because Terry showed me 312 00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:25,223 the red light ticket photo. 313 00:11:25,234 --> 00:11:27,301 - He thought it was funny. - Big deal. 314 00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:29,112 I think red light photo cameras are funny. 315 00:11:29,324 --> 00:11:31,096 - It's pretty funny. - Yeah. See? 316 00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:32,439 Everyone thinks they're funny. 317 00:11:32,450 --> 00:11:35,522 The thing we never discussed was the identity 318 00:11:35,533 --> 00:11:38,370 of this person obscured in the photo 319 00:11:38,381 --> 00:11:40,090 sitting next to Terry in his car. 320 00:11:40,101 --> 00:11:42,048 - It's probably Vicky. - You don't recall? 321 00:11:42,050 --> 00:11:43,468 Probably Vicky. 322 00:11:43,479 --> 00:11:45,654 Lucy, what did Terry tell you about that ticket? 323 00:11:45,665 --> 00:11:47,512 He bragged about how he pulled some strings 324 00:11:47,523 --> 00:11:49,456 - to get out of it. - Oh. 325 00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:52,526 Pulled some strings, did he? Well, well, well. 326 00:11:52,801 --> 00:11:55,653 It must be very easy to get out of a traffic ticket 327 00:11:55,664 --> 00:11:58,332 when the passenger in your car is a police captain. 328 00:11:58,467 --> 00:12:02,069 - BOTH: Murmur, murmur, murmur. - Murmur, murmur, murmur. 329 00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:03,880 Okay, this is stupid, all right? 330 00:12:03,919 --> 00:12:06,206 Now it's getting boring. That was your best joke. 331 00:12:06,217 --> 00:12:07,417 Let's move on now. 332 00:12:07,428 --> 00:12:09,695 Your Honor, I demand a retrial. 333 00:12:09,706 --> 00:12:12,079 I was blatantly framed for that shampoo crime. 334 00:12:12,081 --> 00:12:13,347 - I didn't do it. - And if you were framed 335 00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:16,026 for the shampoo, why is your hair so flat now? 336 00:12:16,285 --> 00:12:18,685 I... stop. I... 337 00:12:18,687 --> 00:12:22,089 [SIGHS] Look, I request a short recess 338 00:12:22,100 --> 00:12:23,815 so I can get my case in order, please. 339 00:12:23,826 --> 00:12:26,208 - Your case is over. - But I'm innocent, I tell you! 340 00:12:26,219 --> 00:12:28,086 I'm innocent! I was framed! 341 00:12:28,097 --> 00:12:29,964 Ike, I got the chief on the ropes. 342 00:12:29,975 --> 00:12:31,556 What? Whatever, "on the ropes." 343 00:12:31,567 --> 00:12:33,100 - [ALARM BLARING] - Fresh alarm, Engine 24... 344 00:12:33,102 --> 00:12:34,143 Okay, roll it out. 345 00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:35,954 We will resume when we return. 346 00:12:36,430 --> 00:12:38,363 - [LAUGHS] - Oh, man. 347 00:12:38,374 --> 00:12:39,706 Did you see his face 348 00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:41,041 when you brought up the red light ticket? 349 00:12:41,043 --> 00:12:42,183 Hysterical. 350 00:12:42,194 --> 00:12:44,235 Terry has five minutes of fun in him, 351 00:12:44,246 --> 00:12:46,647 - and then he gets cranky. - And defensive. 352 00:12:46,783 --> 00:12:49,316 Yeah, about me saying he's friends with Polonsky. 353 00:12:49,452 --> 00:12:50,691 Tell you what I'm gonna do. 354 00:12:50,702 --> 00:12:52,324 When we get back in there, I am gonna hit him 355 00:12:52,335 --> 00:12:54,837 with some really stupid stuff just to piss him off. 356 00:12:54,848 --> 00:12:57,069 - Who is in this photo? - Probably Vicky. 357 00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:58,946 It doesn't really look like her. 358 00:12:59,087 --> 00:13:00,752 I'ma text her. 359 00:13:01,483 --> 00:13:04,017 "Were you with dad in the car 360 00:13:04,126 --> 00:13:06,260 when he got the red light ticket?" 361 00:13:06,271 --> 00:13:07,804 It's gotta be her. 362 00:13:07,815 --> 00:13:10,149 Who else would Terry go to an arts & crafts fair with? 363 00:13:10,339 --> 00:13:12,029 She said "What ticket?" 364 00:13:12,408 --> 00:13:14,208 - Guess it's not her. - [KNOCK AT DOOR] 365 00:13:14,343 --> 00:13:17,768 Sorry, uh, you know I didn't use the Maurice Pasqual, right? 366 00:13:17,779 --> 00:13:20,180 - Yes, you did, Ike. - No, I didn't, Lucy. 367 00:13:20,191 --> 00:13:22,392 - You look like a scarecrow. - Oh, come on. 368 00:13:22,608 --> 00:13:23,999 Okay, maybe I used it once 369 00:13:24,010 --> 00:13:26,957 Because my Husky 3-in-1 Men's Body Wash was out. 370 00:13:26,968 --> 00:13:29,361 I used it one time, but there's no way I used that much. 371 00:13:29,372 --> 00:13:31,969 That's impossible. Somebody else is using it, okay? 372 00:13:31,980 --> 00:13:33,284 And it wasn't me, Lucy, 373 00:13:33,295 --> 00:13:35,408 so stop looking at me like that. It wasn't... you know what? 374 00:13:35,419 --> 00:13:37,555 I'm gonna find out who, and you can bet your ass 375 00:13:37,566 --> 00:13:39,099 I'm gonna find out, and we're gonna solve it. 376 00:13:39,101 --> 00:13:41,035 Mickleberry caught you red-handed! 377 00:13:41,046 --> 00:13:43,246 Well, Mickleberry is a liar! 378 00:13:43,386 --> 00:13:45,163 Guys, guys, it's kangaroo court. 379 00:13:45,174 --> 00:13:47,574 - It's kangaroo court. Calm down. - Cap, I'm calm, 380 00:13:47,585 --> 00:13:49,519 but I got robbed in there! This is bullshit! 381 00:13:49,769 --> 00:13:51,703 Cap, can you kick him out of our private lunch. 382 00:13:52,301 --> 00:13:53,571 Did you guys go to Blobby's without me? 383 00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:54,965 - Yeah, we did. - Awesome. 384 00:13:54,976 --> 00:13:57,509 - You know it's my favorite. - [LAUGHS] 385 00:13:57,520 --> 00:13:59,119 [UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC] 386 00:13:59,121 --> 00:14:00,245 Blobby's sucks! 387 00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:01,722 ? ? 388 00:14:01,733 --> 00:14:02,798 - [SLAMMING GAVEL] - Oh, ye! 389 00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:04,609 Oh, ye, oh, ye, oh, ye! 390 00:14:04,994 --> 00:14:07,994 We resume the case of the people versus Chief McConky. 391 00:14:08,119 --> 00:14:09,847 Okay, Eddie, are we gonna keep going with this? 392 00:14:09,858 --> 00:14:11,647 I thought we got all the laughs out of it, hm? 393 00:14:11,658 --> 00:14:13,715 Oh, Your Honor, I would like 394 00:14:13,726 --> 00:14:15,393 to call another witness to the stand. 395 00:14:15,404 --> 00:14:18,138 Oh. Hey, sorry. You guys having a meeting? 396 00:14:18,562 --> 00:14:19,844 Well, what'd you want, Lucy? 397 00:14:19,855 --> 00:14:24,325 Your Honor, the people call Viccolina Penisi-McConky. 398 00:14:24,336 --> 00:14:25,336 [DRAMATIC MUSICAL STING] 399 00:14:25,347 --> 00:14:27,873 Oh, no, not kangaroo court again. 400 00:14:28,009 --> 00:14:29,875 Mom, please, just one quick question. 401 00:14:29,886 --> 00:14:31,886 Yeah, but last time, Eddie accused Terry 402 00:14:31,897 --> 00:14:33,697 of wearing spanx, and then... 403 00:14:33,708 --> 00:14:35,537 then he tricked me into testifying. 404 00:14:35,548 --> 00:14:38,016 - I don't want to do that again. - I don't wear spanx. 405 00:14:38,027 --> 00:14:40,078 - Okay, let's not talk about it. - It's super important. 406 00:14:40,089 --> 00:14:41,804 Five minutes, that's it. 407 00:14:41,815 --> 00:14:43,488 Mrs. Penisi-McConky, 408 00:14:43,499 --> 00:14:45,232 thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule 409 00:14:45,367 --> 00:14:47,768 - to accommodate us. - Let's get to it, Eddie. 410 00:14:47,904 --> 00:14:49,836 Mrs. Penisi-McConky, 411 00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:52,239 do you remember Terry going to the Leigh Weigh concert 412 00:14:52,241 --> 00:14:53,708 - last month? - Of course. 413 00:14:53,926 --> 00:14:55,660 He's still singing that "Ass In The Grass" song. 414 00:14:55,712 --> 00:14:58,645 Honey, it's "Fresh Cut Grass And a Piece o' Ass." 415 00:14:58,647 --> 00:15:00,070 Yeah, you know what I mean. 416 00:15:00,081 --> 00:15:02,039 I used to sing that song to you when you rubbed my feet. 417 00:15:02,050 --> 00:15:03,914 We don't have to tell everybody that. 418 00:15:03,925 --> 00:15:06,593 Do you remember with whom Terry went to the concert? 419 00:15:06,604 --> 00:15:08,266 - Ike. - Yeah? 420 00:15:08,830 --> 00:15:10,340 Oh, me Ike? 421 00:15:10,351 --> 00:15:12,983 No, you're probably thinking of a different guy named Ike. 422 00:15:12,994 --> 00:15:14,246 I actually said Mike. 423 00:15:14,257 --> 00:15:15,967 Mike Penkenten from the treasurer's office. 424 00:15:15,978 --> 00:15:17,732 No, you said Ike. 425 00:15:17,743 --> 00:15:19,934 I specifically said Mike. Mike Penkenten. 426 00:15:20,231 --> 00:15:23,203 - Murmur, murmur, murmur. - No, not... not now. 427 00:15:23,205 --> 00:15:24,939 Wait, Terry, did you lie to me? 428 00:15:25,073 --> 00:15:26,873 Are you kidding me? Are you falling for this? 429 00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:27,918 This is a joke. 430 00:15:27,929 --> 00:15:31,270 Vicky, is this you in the car with Terry? 431 00:15:32,415 --> 00:15:36,350 - No, this is a man, Eddie. - Indeed. Indeed. 432 00:15:36,361 --> 00:15:37,875 Terry, who did you go to the concert with? 433 00:15:37,886 --> 00:15:40,354 - Mike Penkenten! - Who is this in this picture? 434 00:15:40,365 --> 00:15:43,348 - It's probably Mike Penkenten. - Mike Penkenten is not a white guy. 435 00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:45,159 Okay, joke's over. Come on, all right? 436 00:15:45,294 --> 00:15:46,693 Look it... she's getting mad at me now. 437 00:15:46,829 --> 00:15:48,496 - Are you happy? - All right, counselor. 438 00:15:48,507 --> 00:15:49,687 Where are you going with this? 439 00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:51,432 Your Honor, it is the prosecution's belief 440 00:15:51,434 --> 00:15:53,909 that Terry McConky is secretly attending events 441 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:55,309 with Jerry Polonsky. 442 00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:57,236 They went to the Leigh Weigh concert together. 443 00:15:57,247 --> 00:15:59,697 They went to the Bonney Lake Arts & Crafts Fair together, 444 00:15:59,828 --> 00:16:02,909 and if you'd look at these two photos side-by-side, 445 00:16:02,911 --> 00:16:05,646 they reveal that the mystery passenger 446 00:16:05,648 --> 00:16:09,249 in Terry's car is none other than his open-mouthed friend 447 00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:10,708 Jerry Polonsky. 448 00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:12,853 - Oh! - Murmur, murmur. 449 00:16:12,989 --> 00:16:14,054 Murmur, murmur. 450 00:16:14,190 --> 00:16:15,571 Vicky, this is a joke, okay? 451 00:16:15,582 --> 00:16:17,115 This is a joke, all right? 452 00:16:17,126 --> 00:16:20,260 Your Honor, the prosecution brings to the stand 453 00:16:20,262 --> 00:16:23,397 police captain Gerald McRainey Polonsky. 454 00:16:23,408 --> 00:16:24,541 Yeah, right. 455 00:16:25,802 --> 00:16:28,187 - He's actually here. [CHUCKLES] - The hell do you want, Penisi? 456 00:16:28,198 --> 00:16:30,057 You said there was a crime being committed here. 457 00:16:30,068 --> 00:16:32,130 There is... the crime of treason, 458 00:16:32,141 --> 00:16:34,275 and Terry McConky is guilty! 459 00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:37,144 ALL: Murmur, murmur, murmur, murmur, murmur, murmur, murmur. 460 00:16:37,605 --> 00:16:39,537 Yeah, we don't arrest people for treason. 461 00:16:39,548 --> 00:16:41,716 You need to call the feds. 462 00:16:43,399 --> 00:16:45,753 [UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC] 463 00:16:45,764 --> 00:16:48,698 Jerry, would you consider yourself to be friends 464 00:16:48,709 --> 00:16:52,311 - with Terry McConky? - Us? Friends? 465 00:16:52,495 --> 00:16:54,427 I'd sooner eat a rat, crap that out, 466 00:16:54,496 --> 00:16:57,231 eat that, crap that out, feed that to another rat, 467 00:16:57,233 --> 00:16:58,898 and then eat that rat. 468 00:16:58,909 --> 00:17:00,308 Objection, Your Honor! 469 00:17:00,615 --> 00:17:03,081 Super gross and mildly confusing. 470 00:17:03,092 --> 00:17:05,859 Sustained, Ike, but this isn't your case. You can't object. 471 00:17:05,870 --> 00:17:07,098 Well, now that I've got your attention, 472 00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:08,919 can I just tell you, I'm innocent! 473 00:17:08,930 --> 00:17:10,797 I paid Lucy a lot of money for that shampoo. 474 00:17:10,913 --> 00:17:12,580 - A lot of money! - And there it is. 475 00:17:12,591 --> 00:17:13,728 - [CASH REGISTER CHIMES] - Thanks, Ike. 476 00:17:13,739 --> 00:17:17,127 Jerry, who did you go to the Leigh Weigh concert with? 477 00:17:17,138 --> 00:17:19,096 - Joe. - I'm not falling for it. 478 00:17:19,107 --> 00:17:21,362 Joe mama! Ooh, ooh! 479 00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:23,441 Oh, Joe mama. That was awesome. 480 00:17:23,452 --> 00:17:25,427 Like, Joe... Joe mama. 481 00:17:25,438 --> 00:17:27,652 It's like a knock-knock joke. Forget it, man. Try to keep up. 482 00:17:27,663 --> 00:17:29,529 Were you in Terry's car 483 00:17:29,531 --> 00:17:31,531 the night he got the red light camera ticket? 484 00:17:31,533 --> 00:17:32,933 No, that was probably your mom. 485 00:17:33,069 --> 00:17:35,122 Oh, zing. He got her twice in a row. 486 00:17:35,133 --> 00:17:36,737 - Yeah. - Man, he's vicious. 487 00:17:36,739 --> 00:17:38,406 I'm sorry, Terry, did you want to be friends? 488 00:17:38,417 --> 00:17:40,485 Maybe our kids can date again with the... 489 00:17:40,675 --> 00:17:42,274 [SINGING, TRILLING] 490 00:17:42,844 --> 00:17:44,260 - Okay. - Hey. 491 00:17:44,271 --> 00:17:45,810 - That's offensive. - Her mother is here. 492 00:17:45,821 --> 00:17:47,620 Oh, my God. 493 00:17:48,141 --> 00:17:49,741 Uncle Eddie, you gotta see this. 494 00:17:49,752 --> 00:17:52,620 [SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC] 495 00:17:52,631 --> 00:17:53,763 ? ? 496 00:17:53,774 --> 00:17:55,508 [GASPS] 497 00:17:55,571 --> 00:17:57,548 All right, Cap, can you wrap this up? 498 00:17:57,559 --> 00:17:59,026 Not just yet, Your Honor. 499 00:17:59,384 --> 00:18:01,352 I call Terry McConky back to the stand. 500 00:18:01,363 --> 00:18:03,250 Okay, Eddie, joke's over. All right? Really. 501 00:18:03,261 --> 00:18:05,420 Terry, did you recently purchase 502 00:18:05,567 --> 00:18:07,701 a wicker basket? 503 00:18:07,703 --> 00:18:09,837 [DRAMATIC MUSICAL STING] 504 00:18:09,972 --> 00:18:13,641 - I don't recall. - Honey, yes, you did. 505 00:18:13,776 --> 00:18:14,975 It's in the bathroom. 506 00:18:14,977 --> 00:18:16,444 It's holding your boat magazines. 507 00:18:16,578 --> 00:18:18,846 Oh, thanks, honey. 508 00:18:18,857 --> 00:18:21,658 Everyone, this is Lucy's Cashmo app. 509 00:18:21,784 --> 00:18:24,852 Note the top payment, Ike Crystal to Lucy McConky. 510 00:18:24,987 --> 00:18:27,855 Terry, are you aware that Cashmo allows you 511 00:18:27,990 --> 00:18:29,790 to view your friends' transactions 512 00:18:29,792 --> 00:18:31,525 - as well as your own? - How? 513 00:18:31,661 --> 00:18:33,060 That's just the way Cashmo works. 514 00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:35,463 - Everybody knows that. - Why would they do that? 515 00:18:35,597 --> 00:18:37,262 - Social media. - It's not social media. 516 00:18:37,273 --> 00:18:38,732 It's banking transactions. 517 00:18:38,734 --> 00:18:43,003 Terry, did you reimburse Jerry for a wicker basket? 518 00:18:43,005 --> 00:18:46,340 ? ? 519 00:18:46,342 --> 00:18:49,677 Did you or did you not reimburse Jerry Polonsky 520 00:18:49,688 --> 00:18:51,688 for a wicker basket that you purchased 521 00:18:51,814 --> 00:18:54,414 at the Bonney Lake Arts & Crafts Fair? 522 00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:56,091 Objection! Your Honor, objection. 523 00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:58,286 Overruled. I want to hear this. 524 00:18:58,466 --> 00:19:00,266 If it pleases the court... 525 00:19:00,277 --> 00:19:02,543 ? ? 526 00:19:02,554 --> 00:19:05,898 Everybody, notice the bottom payment from one month ago. 527 00:19:06,215 --> 00:19:07,881 ? ? 528 00:19:07,892 --> 00:19:10,692 [ALL GASP] 529 00:19:10,732 --> 00:19:12,058 Chief. 530 00:19:13,629 --> 00:19:15,629 Dad, was Polonsky in the car with you? 531 00:19:16,010 --> 00:19:18,563 Terry, is that who you went to the concert with? 532 00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:22,176 Terry, are you friends with Polonsky? 533 00:19:22,187 --> 00:19:23,787 That's ridiculous! 534 00:19:24,243 --> 00:19:25,979 No, I'm not friends with Polonsky. 535 00:19:25,981 --> 00:19:28,078 - You are under oath. - No, I'm not under oath. 536 00:19:28,089 --> 00:19:30,709 - This is kangaroo court. - Tell us the truth. 537 00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:32,786 - You want the truth? - Yeah, I want the truth. 538 00:19:32,797 --> 00:19:35,264 - You want the truth? - Yeah, I want the truth! 539 00:19:35,371 --> 00:19:36,970 - I can't handle the truth. - Yes. 540 00:19:37,433 --> 00:19:40,794 Yes, I went to the arts & crafts fair with Polonsky! 541 00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:43,939 We called it our crafternoon, and we got baskets, 542 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:47,335 and we got dreamcatchers, and we watched glassblowing, 543 00:19:47,346 --> 00:19:49,546 and we had funnel cake, and you know what? 544 00:19:49,557 --> 00:19:52,692 We had a great time because we're friends! 545 00:19:53,001 --> 00:19:55,609 - We are friends. - There, I said it. 546 00:19:55,670 --> 00:19:58,471 And I feel free now! How's that? 547 00:19:58,482 --> 00:20:00,504 How long has this been going on? 548 00:20:00,515 --> 00:20:03,601 I ran into him at the Bert Kreisher concert in February. 549 00:20:03,612 --> 00:20:06,068 We chatted. We laughed. We hit it off. 550 00:20:06,079 --> 00:20:08,413 - He's hysterical. - He's hysterical. 551 00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:09,757 Oh, and you know what? 552 00:20:09,892 --> 00:20:12,159 I went to the Leigh Weigh concert with him too, 553 00:20:12,418 --> 00:20:13,885 but you'd know that if you'd just looked 554 00:20:13,896 --> 00:20:15,629 at your picture more closely. 555 00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:18,298 My reflection is in the sunglasses! 556 00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,968 ? ? 557 00:20:21,103 --> 00:20:23,003 I had the time of my life. 558 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:26,040 Why have you been keeping this from us? 559 00:20:26,051 --> 00:20:28,283 He's a cop! It's like "Romeo and Juliet." 560 00:20:28,294 --> 00:20:29,626 - With a dude every weekend? - It's so weird. 561 00:20:29,637 --> 00:20:31,169 Besides, you're not supposed to make friends 562 00:20:31,180 --> 00:20:32,846 - over 40 with random new people. - Watching Netflix by myself. 563 00:20:32,848 --> 00:20:34,248 - Why is it any different? - Nobody accepts it! 564 00:20:34,250 --> 00:20:35,849 - This is crazy! - You think I'm weird? 565 00:20:35,860 --> 00:20:37,308 There's a tradition of the fire department 566 00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:38,719 - hating the police. - You guys have been 567 00:20:38,730 --> 00:20:39,898 coming at me forever! 568 00:20:39,909 --> 00:20:41,842 Order! Order in the courtroom! 569 00:20:42,043 --> 00:20:45,244 - And I don't wear spanx! - Order! Order! 570 00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:48,862 [SNIFFING] 571 00:20:49,196 --> 00:20:51,340 - Mom? - [SNIFFS] 572 00:20:51,351 --> 00:20:53,751 Eddie, have you been using 573 00:20:53,842 --> 00:20:56,576 Maurice Pasqual Extra Volumizing 574 00:20:56,587 --> 00:20:58,816 Ultra full body shampoo? 575 00:20:58,827 --> 00:21:01,027 - What? - Lucy uses it. 576 00:21:01,143 --> 00:21:03,343 - You were using it? - No, it's not Maurice Pasqual. 577 00:21:03,479 --> 00:21:05,613 It's not Maurice Pasqual. It's not Maurice Pasqual. 578 00:21:05,748 --> 00:21:09,016 [SNIFFS] I smell it All over the place here. Wow, you guys. 579 00:21:09,027 --> 00:21:10,627 [SNIFFING] It's there. It's there. 580 00:21:10,638 --> 00:21:12,571 - We got it... - What are you, a bloodhound? 581 00:21:12,594 --> 00:21:14,861 [SNIFFING] 582 00:21:15,111 --> 00:21:17,845 Mickleberry, you too? 583 00:21:18,019 --> 00:21:21,087 Terry, what are you paying these guys? 584 00:21:21,288 --> 00:21:22,473 What? 585 00:21:22,484 --> 00:21:24,089 You said you were allergic, bro! 586 00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:26,758 Okay, so what? It makes my curls look awesome. 587 00:21:26,769 --> 00:21:30,838 You owe me $189. You both owe me $189.99. 588 00:21:30,973 --> 00:21:34,574 [LAUGHS] Oh, baby, yes! 589 00:21:34,585 --> 00:21:37,320 - Wait, what... ow. - [SNIFFS] 590 00:21:37,701 --> 00:21:41,172 I cannot believe this! This is rampant collusion! 591 00:21:41,183 --> 00:21:43,050 He's the ringleader. He always has been. 592 00:21:43,098 --> 00:21:46,099 - Mickleberry did it! - [SLAMMING GAVEL] 593 00:21:46,110 --> 00:21:47,977 Order in my courtroom! 594 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:52,468 Looks like I got a lot of sentences to hand down. 595 00:21:52,479 --> 00:21:54,079 And some to retract. 596 00:21:54,262 --> 00:21:57,797 And I'm the only one who's not a shampoo thief. 597 00:21:57,808 --> 00:21:59,741 Cap, you should be ashamed of yourself. 598 00:21:59,752 --> 00:22:01,819 Eh, I'm not sorry. My hair's sweet. 599 00:22:01,910 --> 00:22:03,509 I hope you go bald. 600 00:22:03,739 --> 00:22:06,606 Chief Terry McConky, this court finds you guilty 601 00:22:06,742 --> 00:22:10,678 of secretly being friends with captain Jerry Polonsky. 602 00:22:11,010 --> 00:22:13,947 We're gonna take a short recess to figure out your punishment. 603 00:22:13,949 --> 00:22:15,316 [SLAMS GAVEL] 604 00:22:16,818 --> 00:22:19,376 Ooh, embroidered mushrooms. Look at that. 605 00:22:19,387 --> 00:22:20,654 - Hey. - Huh? 606 00:22:20,889 --> 00:22:22,556 - You're a fun guy. - [LAUGHS] 607 00:22:22,725 --> 00:22:23,920 - That's a good one. - Thank you. 608 00:22:23,931 --> 00:22:25,873 Oh, man. Ooh, candles. 609 00:22:25,884 --> 00:22:27,454 Look at this. [LAUGHS] 610 00:22:27,465 --> 00:22:29,399 I love fragrances. 611 00:22:29,410 --> 00:22:30,676 Ah. [SNIFFS] 612 00:22:30,842 --> 00:22:32,023 - Mm. - Hit me. 613 00:22:32,034 --> 00:22:33,276 [SNIFFS] 614 00:22:33,286 --> 00:22:34,338 Sand and fog. 615 00:22:34,349 --> 00:22:36,883 - I'd bet anything. - Oh! 616 00:22:37,003 --> 00:22:38,535 Huh? Nailed it. 617 00:22:38,546 --> 00:22:41,080 Hey, guys, wait up. Check it out. 618 00:22:41,091 --> 00:22:43,711 - Dreamcatchers, tons of 'em back there. - Sweet. 619 00:22:43,789 --> 00:22:45,522 Also, there's a booth back there 620 00:22:45,533 --> 00:22:48,640 with homemade sleep masks with animal faces on 'em. 621 00:22:48,715 --> 00:22:51,916 I'm talking, like, owl eyes, racoon eyes, and whatnot. 622 00:22:51,927 --> 00:22:53,794 - Shut up. - I've gotta get one of those. 623 00:22:53,856 --> 00:22:55,455 - Me too! - [LAUGHTER] 624 00:22:55,743 --> 00:22:57,315 I gotta tell you something, Eddie. 625 00:22:57,326 --> 00:22:58,926 When Granny handed down that sentence 626 00:22:58,937 --> 00:23:00,591 and said that you couldn't use hair product 627 00:23:00,602 --> 00:23:01,945 and that we should spend the day together 628 00:23:01,956 --> 00:23:04,255 at the arts & crafts fair, I thought it was a punishment, 629 00:23:04,266 --> 00:23:06,333 but your hair looks great, and this has been a lot of fun. 630 00:23:06,459 --> 00:23:09,060 It really has. I have to be honest. 631 00:23:09,071 --> 00:23:12,522 I didn't think I could hang out with a cop, specifically this cop. 632 00:23:12,533 --> 00:23:14,755 - You. - But this has been terrific. 633 00:23:14,766 --> 00:23:16,868 Really terrific. [CHUCKLES] 634 00:23:16,959 --> 00:23:18,626 Hey, homemade bookmarks. 635 00:23:18,637 --> 00:23:19,903 - What? - You guys read? 636 00:23:19,914 --> 00:23:21,340 - Of course. - Okay, okay, hold on. 637 00:23:21,351 --> 00:23:23,083 - I'll get some. - I'll catch up with you. 638 00:23:23,219 --> 00:23:24,618 Hey, anyway, I wanted to thank you 639 00:23:24,629 --> 00:23:27,029 for being so cool about Terry and I being friends, 640 00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,280 and who knows, maybe one day, the three of us, 641 00:23:29,291 --> 00:23:31,359 maybe we'll be a trio. [CHUCKLES] 642 00:23:31,370 --> 00:23:33,238 Not on your life. 643 00:23:33,368 --> 00:23:36,770 I'm gonna bide my time like a lion in tall grass, 644 00:23:36,781 --> 00:23:38,848 and then poof, I'm gonna eat you, 645 00:23:39,434 --> 00:23:42,169 bones and all, and you're gonna be gone, 646 00:23:42,304 --> 00:23:45,039 and no one will ever miss you. 647 00:23:45,174 --> 00:23:47,408 Hey, Terry, wait up! I love bookmarks! 648 00:23:49,531 --> 00:23:51,397 That's not a very nice thing to say to somebody. 649 00:23:51,888 --> 00:23:53,104 Here, let's come back here. Let's come... 650 00:23:53,115 --> 00:23:54,181 There's something I want to show you down here. 651 00:23:54,192 --> 00:23:55,383 - Yeah. - The dreamcatchers. 652 00:23:55,394 --> 00:23:56,501 Oh, where are the dreamcatchers? 653 00:23:56,512 --> 00:23:58,322 - They're right back here. - Oh, great, okay. 654 00:23:58,333 --> 00:24:01,422 - Should we get Jerry or... - Nah, nah, nah. He'll be fine. 655 00:24:01,472 --> 00:24:06,022 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 49551

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