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No, no.
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I'm gonna turn off the machine.
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Little Lord Consellroy!
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Oi!
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Chillie Temple!
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Oh, no you don't!
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These are British fields, and
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whatever's found on British fields
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stays in British hands.
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What?
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I said, what the fuck are you doing
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scavenging on my field?
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Your fields?
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Correction.
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This is no man's land.
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This is the unoccupied buffer between
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our two fiefdoms.
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Talk fucking normal!
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I'm just as entitled to be on here as you.
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And I'm not scavenging.
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I'm looking for irreplaceable items
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that have been stolen in the dead of
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night from my house.
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Oh, yeah?
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What items?
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Never mind what items, but they're
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perpetrators made their way across here.
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And the BDI of suspicion points to your
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thieving friend.
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Hey, that's fucking libel!
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That's fucking slander!
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I don't know what it fucking is, but
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it's something!
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Imaginary line, right down the middle.
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My half, your half.
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Now, fuck right off.
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Well, I'm warning you, so pass it on.
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I'm going high-tech, low-tech, and
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every fucking check in between over
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there is going to be like Alcatraz,
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Fort Knox, Bold Lane car park.
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Nah, probably an old fucking tin can.
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Hey, hey, this is still my land.
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Whatever you find there is fucking mine.
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Top!
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You've been fucking unreasonable.
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I'm not being unreasonable.
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Right, I am the proprietor.
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Of Halley's Premier Mobile Autic Parlour.
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Ah, fucktruck.
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And as such, I cannot be sharing me
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storage cum office space with me
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one-time co-assistant manager.
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Excuse me, aren't you gonna set up a
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business for us, Tom, right?
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I need a proper fucking desk.
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Have you been downstairs, Erin?
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Yeah.
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It's a pub.
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It's full of them.
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I can't run a business off a sticky pub
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table, can I?
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May I introduce you to your friend and
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mine, The humble wetline.
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You are fucking sharing.
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HE CHUCKLES Oh!
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What do you want, Jimbo?
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Hey, where do you think it leads?
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Yes, it's quite curious.
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Maybe it leads underground, you fucking lemon.
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Well, obviously it leads underground,
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but then where?
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All right, come on, then, let's fucking see.
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Are we going ready?
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Yes, come on.
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Oh!
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Well, whatever it is, it's been here
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for bloody decades.
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Hey, maybe it's Roman.
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Fuckers like Roman, you plum.
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It's a fucking padlock on here.
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Even to Rome!
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Come on!
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Come on!
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Oh, my giddy-ass vagina!
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Fuck, dude, it's super big down there.
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Come on, Charlie.
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Come on, lad.
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Hey, this goes right under my field.
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It's my field.
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The light switch.
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Oh!
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Come on, then.
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I'm getting a vision of a large
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circular table And still seated.
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Six human skeletons.
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Shut up.
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Come on, Jimbo.
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Here we go.
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Here we go.
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Ready?
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Right, be careful.
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Dear.
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Wow.
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Is it?
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It fucking hurts!
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Could have fucking killed him.
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I could have killed him, but sadly, it
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still stands.
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Fuck!
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Why, what the fuck?
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Are you joking me?
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Are you twisting my fucking melon?
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It's incredible, man.
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Oh, my God!
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Oh, dude, look at it!
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Oh, fuck off!
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There's fucking tea cups in a tea pot!
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Oh, my fucking God!
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Mate, I'm telling you now, I'm telling
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you, this is a fucking war bunker,
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isn't it?
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It's like the Second World War or something.
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Cables.
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So there's wires run all the way
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through it, yeah?
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So, I mean, surely we'll get fucking
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lucky down here again, won't we?
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Well, potentially, yeah.
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Well, actually, in that case,
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congratulations, Erin.
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We might have just found Your new office?
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How's about that?
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You can fuck right off.
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Now, I've been fucking wee-grow, you dick-ends.
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Don't I?
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Wee-grow?
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Look at it.
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It's bloody perfecto, isn't it?
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No-one's ever gonna find this fucking place.
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Not one for...
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Never mind your nefarious activities.
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This is heritage, history.
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Hey, that is a good idea, Vin.
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And as your new landlord, I'll be
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wanting six months' rent in advance.
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Was that what you like?
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Oh, I figured you'd know, you...
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You bastard!
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This is my land.
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It's my land.
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I can't fucking believe it.
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I swear to God, I've wanted to find
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something like that since I was a
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little lad.
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I can't believe a fucking bunker.
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Shit.
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Who the hell are they?
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Those are our old friends, the Madonnas.
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Right, make sure they don't fucking see you.
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Keep it out of sight.
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Well, hello, Thomas.
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Other people.
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What the fuck do you want?
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That's not very nice welcome, is it,
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after all this time?
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I've been away, Vincent, having surgery.
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Oh, nothing minor, we hope.
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I've had a testicle removed.
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My left one, most undignified.
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Hmm.
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But they kind of replaced it with a
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rather marvellous, artificial one, you
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could barely feel the difference.
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Nice.
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And now we're back.
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And I'm looking to ignite our business relations.
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Nothing to do with Manolito.
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No, no way.
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I'm not working with you again.
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Why, is that pretty cheeks?
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I'll tell you why, cos since Dylan went
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fucking missing, we've only wanted
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nothing more to do with you and we
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meant it.
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And I told you after Dylan went missing
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that Barry and I know nothing about it.
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No, I'm rather fond of Dylan.
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And despite our differences, I wish him
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no harm.
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Right, well, you're a sweetheart, but
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the answer's still a very firm no.
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She said you'd say that.
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Who the fuck's she?
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Our sister, Donna.
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Donna McDonner?
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During my absence, let's just say that
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she's got a bit more involved in the
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family business.
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And she requests a quiet word with you,
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Vincent, in person.
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Sound.
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All right, well, does it solid?
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You go and tell your Donna to stick a
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quiet word up her arse.
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Hey, hey, Buzz, Buzz!
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Leave him!
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Back off!
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Leave him!
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Wow.
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Fuck you now!
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Barry!
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Barry!
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Barry!
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Barry!
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No wonder it was there.
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One exploded mine.
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What are the chances?
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It was an unused field.
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A buffer between our fiefdoms.
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Not really owned by anyone.
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Especially not me.
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Or me.
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Stop waffling!
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My brother's dead!
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In five fucking pieces!
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Six.
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Oh.
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Just been touching it.
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You're wrong, mate.
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David, listen to me, man.
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I'm gonna be honest with you now, when
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I say this.
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There have been times over the last
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three or four months I have wished arm
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on you and your brother, Baz.
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And I fucking mean that.
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But I swear to God, nobody would ever
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want something like this, man.
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It's fucked.
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It's awful, mate.
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Well, thank you for those kind words, Vincent.
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I mean it.
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Donna's not going to be too happy with
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this turn of events.
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Fuck no.
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She's going to quite rightly want to
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find blame.
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Fucking hell, blame.
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Hang fire a minute.
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David, listen to me.
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You saw what went down on that field today.
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I ran in the same direction as Barry.
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I jumped right over the fucking thing.
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It could have easily have been me that
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was in five pieces.
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Again, six.
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For fuck's sake.
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Keep doing it.
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It does feel real.
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David, we know a very good undertaker
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who would give Barry a lovely funeral.
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We do.
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We do.
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And, you know, now is not the time to
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be finding blame.
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Certainly not.
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It's just such a sad, terrible,
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horrible accident that's happened.
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It's awful.
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When we were children, Barry used to
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massage my shoulders in the bath.
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Oh, that's nice.
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Brotherly love.
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There's a wet flannel over my face.
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Pretend I was in a Swedish sauna.
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He'd do the accent too sometimes.
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Would he?
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Sometimes he'd be in there for hours.
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Splashing about.
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Window's steamy.
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All right now.
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Barry's big hands.
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Sweat.
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Shripping.
286
00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:55,810
Right.
287
00:08:55,811 --> 00:08:56,639
He's in shock.
288
00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:58,360
He's in shock with it all.
289
00:09:05,380 --> 00:09:06,580
Trinks are on the house!
290
00:09:07,561 --> 00:09:09,589
What?
291
00:09:09,590 --> 00:09:10,640
He's dead!
292
00:09:19,490 --> 00:09:21,270
Where's old Barry again?
293
00:09:22,070 --> 00:09:24,090
Let's pull this down, dude.
294
00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:27,689
Oh, fuck me, dude, this fucking...
295
00:09:27,690 --> 00:09:29,690
Oh, fucking torso, for fuck's sake.
296
00:09:29,890 --> 00:09:31,929
Full torso, partial torso.
297
00:09:31,930 --> 00:09:32,709
I need to wash my hands.
298
00:09:32,710 --> 00:09:33,969
Why do you have to be so fucking
299
00:09:33,970 --> 00:09:35,020
prudency with us?
300
00:09:35,021 --> 00:09:36,049
Gives up a...
301
00:09:36,050 --> 00:09:37,100
Gary!
302
00:09:38,270 --> 00:09:40,170
Oh, what the fuck is this?
303
00:09:41,170 --> 00:09:42,910
What are you even doing here?
304
00:09:42,911 --> 00:09:44,569
Well, Gary's new assistant, learning
305
00:09:44,570 --> 00:09:45,289
the ropes.
306
00:09:45,290 --> 00:09:46,340
Found up on Insta.
307
00:09:46,710 --> 00:09:48,329
How the fuck have you ended up...
308
00:09:48,330 --> 00:09:51,009
That's bloody Bridezilla, the lunatic
309
00:09:51,010 --> 00:09:51,249
who got me in trouble.
310
00:09:51,250 --> 00:09:52,909
I'm married to one of JJ's cousins.
311
00:09:52,910 --> 00:09:53,469
Do you remember?
312
00:09:53,470 --> 00:09:58,489
I'm getting married in three days and I don't...
313
00:09:58,490 --> 00:09:59,810
Yeah, well, it didn't last.
314
00:09:59,811 --> 00:10:01,469
The money-squandering, limp-dick twat
315
00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:03,229
went to retrain as a reiki therapist.
316
00:10:03,230 --> 00:10:04,749
I think he might have dodged a bullet,
317
00:10:04,750 --> 00:10:06,009
to be honest with you, saying, where
318
00:10:06,010 --> 00:10:07,009
the fuck is Gary?
319
00:10:07,010 --> 00:10:09,050
No, we don't bury gangsters.
320
00:10:09,470 --> 00:10:10,650
That is just nonsense.
321
00:10:10,651 --> 00:10:11,389
You do.
322
00:10:11,390 --> 00:10:12,889
You buried pretty boy Patel.
323
00:10:12,890 --> 00:10:14,450
He was a friend of my aunt.
324
00:10:14,690 --> 00:10:16,230
Now, I'm Colin Calawalla.
325
00:10:16,231 --> 00:10:16,929
I can't remember it.
326
00:10:16,930 --> 00:10:19,030
He was a minor criminal, mostly extortion.
327
00:10:19,290 --> 00:10:20,910
Have you reported the death yet?
328
00:10:21,870 --> 00:10:23,829
No, I didn't want the cops snooping
329
00:10:23,830 --> 00:10:25,490
around at Point and Blame.
330
00:10:25,491 --> 00:10:27,169
No, listen, you need a death
331
00:10:27,170 --> 00:10:28,389
certificate from a doctor.
332
00:10:28,390 --> 00:10:30,390
Dude, I'll fucking get you on.
333
00:10:30,391 --> 00:10:31,709
I'll get you on off Christoph.
334
00:10:31,710 --> 00:10:33,589
Listen to me now, I need fucking help here.
335
00:10:33,590 --> 00:10:35,109
These fuckers, they're the reason
336
00:10:35,110 --> 00:10:36,650
Dildo's gone missing, right?
337
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,410
I mean, Davey's unhinged.
338
00:10:38,411 --> 00:10:39,929
At the best of fucking times, you know
339
00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:40,769
full well.
340
00:10:40,770 --> 00:10:41,949
And now he's lost his brother, he's
341
00:10:41,950 --> 00:10:42,749
capable of action.
342
00:10:42,750 --> 00:10:45,150
Jesus Christ, he's capable of anything, innit?
343
00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:47,010
Fine, fine, fine!
344
00:10:47,011 --> 00:10:49,609
But I'm in Vegas until next Thursday,
345
00:10:49,610 --> 00:10:51,089
So you're going to have to get Mina to
346
00:10:51,090 --> 00:10:51,849
do it.
347
00:10:51,850 --> 00:10:53,410
Yeah, what are you doing there?
348
00:10:53,411 --> 00:10:55,529
It's not your business what I'm doing here.
349
00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:57,389
But if you must know, I'm at an
350
00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:59,290
unbounding expo.
351
00:10:59,370 --> 00:11:00,420
On a golfing weekend.
352
00:11:00,510 --> 00:11:01,849
My mind boggles, honestly.
353
00:11:01,850 --> 00:11:04,850
Hey, Gary, does your laptop do this?
354
00:11:05,930 --> 00:11:08,150
Can you sew a body back together, are you?
355
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:09,300
I'll do my best.
356
00:11:09,590 --> 00:11:11,089
I'm still here, you cunt!
357
00:11:11,090 --> 00:11:12,830
Hi, Gary!
358
00:11:14,130 --> 00:11:18,509
I think seeing death that close up, It
359
00:11:18,510 --> 00:11:20,870
just makes me brain wonder, that's all.
360
00:11:20,990 --> 00:11:22,370
Do you know it's happening?
361
00:11:22,530 --> 00:11:24,150
Or do you welcome it in?
362
00:11:24,430 --> 00:11:25,480
To peace?
363
00:11:26,530 --> 00:11:27,580
Letting go?
364
00:11:27,581 --> 00:11:29,769
And you don't have to fucking bother
365
00:11:29,770 --> 00:11:30,820
anymore, do you?
366
00:11:30,821 --> 00:11:32,769
Shall I give you a prescription for Viagra?
367
00:11:32,770 --> 00:11:33,669
Why would you?
368
00:11:33,670 --> 00:11:35,229
Why would you have to what I've said?
369
00:11:35,230 --> 00:11:37,270
That's quite the leap, isn't it?
370
00:11:37,271 --> 00:11:38,309
What leap?
371
00:11:38,310 --> 00:11:40,669
I'm talking about sadness, and you've
372
00:11:40,670 --> 00:11:41,890
gone to our dicks there.
373
00:11:41,891 --> 00:11:43,149
Trust me, you wouldn't be thinking
374
00:11:43,150 --> 00:11:44,829
about death if you had a five hour boner.
375
00:11:44,830 --> 00:11:45,469
No bed.
376
00:11:45,470 --> 00:11:47,129
I'm worried that I'm spending too much
377
00:11:47,130 --> 00:11:49,610
time Well, what about what's-her-name?
378
00:11:49,611 --> 00:11:50,749
You know, your friend.
379
00:11:50,750 --> 00:11:51,709
Erin?
380
00:11:51,710 --> 00:11:53,969
Well, yeah, she's great, but I...
381
00:11:53,970 --> 00:11:56,549
I don't know...
382
00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:57,689
..whether...
383
00:11:57,690 --> 00:11:58,509
Fuck!
384
00:11:58,510 --> 00:11:59,149
I don't know.
385
00:11:59,150 --> 00:12:01,130
Well, maybe you need to talk to somebody.
386
00:12:01,131 --> 00:12:02,629
What the fucking hell are we doing
387
00:12:02,630 --> 00:12:03,569
right now?
388
00:12:03,570 --> 00:12:05,370
Actually, I do know a good therapist.
389
00:12:05,630 --> 00:12:06,680
Hmm.
390
00:12:06,750 --> 00:12:07,800
A friend from uni.
391
00:12:07,801 --> 00:12:10,169
It's not gonna be long waiting, this, though.
392
00:12:10,170 --> 00:12:11,220
They always do.
393
00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:12,310
It does owe me a favour.
394
00:12:12,311 --> 00:12:14,589
Maybe I can get you an urgent referral.
395
00:12:14,590 --> 00:12:15,329
No, no, don't.
396
00:12:15,330 --> 00:12:16,089
Listen.
397
00:12:16,090 --> 00:12:18,269
I'll be jumping the queue of a lot of
398
00:12:18,270 --> 00:12:19,189
sad people, won't I?
399
00:12:19,190 --> 00:12:20,049
That's not fair.
400
00:12:20,050 --> 00:12:21,150
Yeah, Fiona Frank.
401
00:12:22,030 --> 00:12:24,330
I'll get her to call you and set up a time.
402
00:12:24,950 --> 00:12:26,290
You can pay me back in weed.
403
00:12:26,470 --> 00:12:27,520
Hello, Vincent.
404
00:12:27,521 --> 00:12:29,849
Myself and Donna have been talking, and
405
00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:31,669
we would like to honour Barry's life
406
00:12:31,670 --> 00:12:33,070
with a cocktail party.
407
00:12:33,390 --> 00:12:35,470
Tomorrow afternoon, 12.30.
408
00:12:36,430 --> 00:12:38,470
Well, 12.30 for one.
409
00:12:39,830 --> 00:12:41,649
She wants you and all your strange
410
00:12:41,650 --> 00:12:42,950
friends to attend.
411
00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:45,250
Dress cold, marvellous.
412
00:12:45,870 --> 00:12:49,869
Oh, and by the way, Vincent, we need
413
00:12:49,870 --> 00:12:50,920
Barry there.
414
00:12:51,710 --> 00:12:53,030
He always loved a cocktail.
415
00:12:54,030 --> 00:12:55,080
Toodle-loo.
416
00:12:56,910 --> 00:12:59,330
Jesus, dress code marvellous.
417
00:12:59,331 --> 00:13:00,529
What does it even mean, that?
418
00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:02,390
Flippin' boy in shirts, both colours.
419
00:13:02,830 --> 00:13:04,270
Dress code Tom also.
420
00:13:04,770 --> 00:13:05,850
No, I don't mind.
421
00:13:05,851 --> 00:13:06,829
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
422
00:13:06,830 --> 00:13:07,880
JJ working.
423
00:13:08,350 --> 00:13:09,670
Yeah, he's always working.
424
00:13:09,671 --> 00:13:11,529
Trying to earn for the baby, innit?
425
00:13:11,530 --> 00:13:12,580
It's a shame.
426
00:13:12,581 --> 00:13:14,329
I'd have loved to see him dress marvellous.
427
00:13:14,330 --> 00:13:15,349
Well, I'd be a plus one.
428
00:13:15,350 --> 00:13:16,550
I don't like it.
429
00:13:16,551 --> 00:13:18,229
I don't mind telling you right fucking
430
00:13:18,230 --> 00:13:18,769
now at all.
431
00:13:18,770 --> 00:13:20,390
Here's a trap, is what it might be.
432
00:13:20,391 --> 00:13:21,709
I think they're gonna lure us into the
433
00:13:21,710 --> 00:13:22,749
house, right?
434
00:13:22,750 --> 00:13:23,909
And then Donna McDonough with a
435
00:13:23,910 --> 00:13:25,829
heaviness fucking hook-like bell
436
00:13:25,830 --> 00:13:27,189
clothes, you're gonna stick them in me
437
00:13:27,190 --> 00:13:28,990
fucking spine, ain't she, lunatic?
438
00:13:28,991 --> 00:13:29,929
Why would that happen?
439
00:13:29,930 --> 00:13:30,889
Is she mad or something?
440
00:13:30,890 --> 00:13:31,269
Yes.
441
00:13:31,270 --> 00:13:33,069
Donna McDonough, put it this way, sunshine.
442
00:13:33,070 --> 00:13:34,489
Rumour has it she got put away three
443
00:13:34,490 --> 00:13:36,349
years in prison for chopping off a
444
00:13:36,350 --> 00:13:38,170
man's finger with a rustitch as well.
445
00:13:38,171 --> 00:13:39,869
Right, why don't we just go drop Barry
446
00:13:39,870 --> 00:13:41,370
off and then make our excuses?
447
00:13:41,371 --> 00:13:42,529
Well, I'm going.
448
00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:44,230
I mean, if she wants to find you,
449
00:13:44,270 --> 00:13:45,510
she'll find you.
450
00:13:46,090 --> 00:13:47,589
Besides, I love a cocktail.
451
00:13:47,590 --> 00:13:48,640
Fuck.
452
00:13:48,641 --> 00:13:49,589
She's got a good point there.
453
00:13:49,590 --> 00:13:51,069
We can't walk away from the McDonald's.
454
00:13:51,070 --> 00:13:52,120
We've learnt that.
455
00:13:52,690 --> 00:13:53,740
Shit.
456
00:13:53,741 --> 00:13:54,609
Shit, shit.
457
00:13:54,610 --> 00:13:55,229
Marvellous.
458
00:13:55,230 --> 00:13:56,209
I said, marvellous.
459
00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:57,629
Couldn't you put, like, a fucking
460
00:13:57,630 --> 00:13:59,029
rainbow headband on or something?
461
00:13:59,030 --> 00:14:00,749
You're all dark and everything's black
462
00:14:00,750 --> 00:14:01,569
on you, look.
463
00:14:01,570 --> 00:14:02,710
I'm an undertaker.
464
00:14:02,711 --> 00:14:04,509
I have to project an air of undiluted
465
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:05,630
dignity at all times.
466
00:14:05,910 --> 00:14:06,960
I'm starving.
467
00:14:06,961 --> 00:14:07,609
Fuck.
468
00:14:07,610 --> 00:14:09,830
I'm doing these 16-hour fasts.
469
00:14:09,831 --> 00:14:10,869
Right, let's stop and wait.
470
00:14:10,870 --> 00:14:11,429
Fuck, no.
471
00:14:11,430 --> 00:14:13,189
We'll get something when we're there.
472
00:14:13,190 --> 00:14:14,240
At a cocktail party?
473
00:14:14,241 --> 00:14:15,569
That's nibbles, Vinnie.
474
00:14:15,570 --> 00:14:16,620
I need carbs.
475
00:14:16,621 --> 00:14:18,449
Unless you want to witness me hungry.
476
00:14:18,450 --> 00:14:19,500
Oh, heaven forbid.
477
00:14:20,450 --> 00:14:21,590
A hangry hunger-taker.
478
00:14:23,541 --> 00:14:25,529
Hi.
479
00:14:25,530 --> 00:14:26,209
Do you want anything?
480
00:14:26,210 --> 00:14:26,849
Made of shit.
481
00:14:26,850 --> 00:14:28,349
You think they've got a toilet?
482
00:14:28,350 --> 00:14:29,400
In a restaurant?
483
00:14:29,401 --> 00:14:31,449
It's hardly a fucking restaurant, is it?
484
00:14:31,450 --> 00:14:32,500
It's a shit hole.
485
00:14:33,170 --> 00:14:34,220
Customers only.
486
00:14:34,230 --> 00:14:35,310
I am a customer.
487
00:14:35,690 --> 00:14:36,740
Is with me.
488
00:14:36,741 --> 00:14:38,169
You're a customer.
489
00:14:38,170 --> 00:14:39,049
You've ordered.
490
00:14:39,050 --> 00:14:40,100
He's not eating.
491
00:14:40,101 --> 00:14:40,869
What?
492
00:14:40,870 --> 00:14:43,130
Dude, come on, what difference does it make?
493
00:14:43,131 --> 00:14:44,789
Rules.
494
00:14:44,790 --> 00:14:46,649
So, let's say I go in there and drop me goods.
495
00:14:46,650 --> 00:14:48,409
That's only the same as him doing it.
496
00:14:48,410 --> 00:14:49,809
And it wouldn't even be as bad as that,
497
00:14:49,810 --> 00:14:51,850
cos I hardly eat anything but a little poo.
498
00:14:51,851 --> 00:14:52,789
Sorry.
499
00:14:52,790 --> 00:14:53,840
Customers only.
500
00:14:54,650 --> 00:14:58,449
Fucking you and your fucking unblinking
501
00:14:58,450 --> 00:15:01,369
lizard eyes holding up ludicrous
502
00:15:01,370 --> 00:15:03,869
fucking rules about who can poo from
503
00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:04,920
who can't poo.
504
00:15:04,921 --> 00:15:07,169
I mean, there's not even a fucking boss here.
505
00:15:07,170 --> 00:15:08,350
No one of authority.
506
00:15:08,750 --> 00:15:11,430
Only us three would know if I had a shit.
507
00:15:12,310 --> 00:15:13,650
I'm sorry for shouting.
508
00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:17,210
It's getting urgent.
509
00:15:17,330 --> 00:15:19,210
I'm starting to fucking crown, dude.
510
00:15:19,211 --> 00:15:19,949
All right?
511
00:15:19,950 --> 00:15:21,730
Okay, actually, you know what?
512
00:15:21,950 --> 00:15:23,000
I need to go.
513
00:15:23,001 --> 00:15:24,209
Give me the key.
514
00:15:24,210 --> 00:15:25,149
You're just gonna give it to him,
515
00:15:25,150 --> 00:15:25,809
aren't you?
516
00:15:25,810 --> 00:15:26,649
No!
517
00:15:26,650 --> 00:15:27,309
No.
518
00:15:27,310 --> 00:15:28,370
I don't trust you.
519
00:15:28,610 --> 00:15:29,750
Hey, I'm a customer.
520
00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:31,380
Key, please.
521
00:15:36,850 --> 00:15:38,010
Thank you.
522
00:15:38,011 --> 00:15:39,069
There you go.
523
00:15:39,070 --> 00:15:40,089
Hiya!
524
00:15:40,090 --> 00:15:41,140
Dickhead.
525
00:15:42,010 --> 00:15:43,990
Well, you should be ashamed of yourself.
526
00:15:45,870 --> 00:15:46,920
Fucking hell.
527
00:15:47,290 --> 00:15:48,340
Spiteful pizza.
528
00:15:48,341 --> 00:15:49,409
Shit!
529
00:15:49,410 --> 00:15:50,349
The coffin's gone!
530
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:51,650
Oh, fuck me!
531
00:15:51,651 --> 00:15:53,729
Who the fuck steals the coffin?
532
00:15:53,730 --> 00:15:54,870
Gary'll kill me.
533
00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:55,649
He'll fire me.
534
00:15:55,650 --> 00:15:56,769
Do you know how much they cost?
535
00:15:56,770 --> 00:15:57,989
I'm replacing that glass.
536
00:15:57,990 --> 00:15:59,510
Never mind the fucking cost.
537
00:15:59,570 --> 00:16:00,969
We're sewn together, Barry.
538
00:16:00,970 --> 00:16:02,390
We have to get it back.
539
00:16:02,391 --> 00:16:04,049
Someone must have seen something.
540
00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:05,550
There's fucking no-one here!
541
00:16:06,770 --> 00:16:08,550
I can't lose this job, Vinnie.
542
00:16:09,330 --> 00:16:10,809
I'm supporting myself now.
543
00:16:10,810 --> 00:16:12,250
I need the fucking income.
544
00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:18,909
And besides, I actually like being
545
00:16:18,910 --> 00:16:19,960
around dead people.
546
00:16:19,961 --> 00:16:20,949
Christ.
547
00:16:20,950 --> 00:16:22,009
Look, can we just...
548
00:16:22,010 --> 00:16:22,429
Let's just...
549
00:16:22,430 --> 00:16:24,230
Are you serious with that chomping?
550
00:16:24,921 --> 00:16:26,969
Stop!
551
00:16:26,970 --> 00:16:28,350
Are you doing it on purpose?
552
00:16:28,670 --> 00:16:29,970
I'm fucking starving!
553
00:16:29,971 --> 00:16:31,869
You're doing me and I can't think straight.
554
00:16:31,870 --> 00:16:34,210
Were you chomping like a fucking oxen?
555
00:16:39,870 --> 00:16:41,130
Eat more of it.
556
00:16:46,460 --> 00:16:48,680
Oh, well done, Dick.
557
00:16:48,681 --> 00:16:50,199
And now it's all over the floor of a
558
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:50,979
sacred vehicle!
559
00:16:50,980 --> 00:16:53,439
I just can't go back to Davey
560
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:55,179
McDonagh's house without his soul
561
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:56,239
together, brother.
562
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:57,290
Fuck, dude.
563
00:16:57,291 --> 00:16:58,819
We have to come up with a plan and
564
00:16:58,820 --> 00:16:59,940
really fucking quick.
565
00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:01,500
What's all this wee shit?
566
00:17:01,501 --> 00:17:03,039
This is your problem.
567
00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:04,579
I just need that fucking coffin back.
568
00:17:04,580 --> 00:17:05,059
We?
569
00:17:05,060 --> 00:17:06,920
We share the same fucking problem,
570
00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:08,140
don't we, you twit?
571
00:17:08,500 --> 00:17:09,550
Christ.
572
00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:14,399
What if we go back to Abracadabra, get
573
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:16,959
another coffin, wait down to Barryway
574
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:18,199
and take it to the cocktail party?
575
00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:19,860
No, they might open it.
576
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:22,200
Why would they open it?
577
00:17:22,420 --> 00:17:24,120
Because it's a fucking lunatic!
578
00:17:24,121 --> 00:17:26,459
Look, they're having a cocktail pie for
579
00:17:26,460 --> 00:17:27,299
a wake.
580
00:17:27,300 --> 00:17:28,059
You know what I mean?
581
00:17:28,060 --> 00:17:29,980
We have to prep for every eventuality.
582
00:17:29,981 --> 00:17:30,939
Okay.
583
00:17:30,940 --> 00:17:32,859
What if...
584
00:17:32,860 --> 00:17:34,819
we put a body in there, cover the face
585
00:17:34,820 --> 00:17:36,439
and tell them that Gary's still working
586
00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:37,439
on the colouration?
587
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:38,919
They won't want to see more lookalike
588
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:39,799
fucking deform.
589
00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:41,119
Oh, fuck me, that could work.
590
00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:42,820
I mean, no options, are we?
591
00:17:42,821 --> 00:17:44,139
For sake.
592
00:17:44,140 --> 00:17:45,400
There's only one problem.
593
00:17:46,300 --> 00:17:47,920
We only have females in right now.
594
00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:50,959
Why the fuck would you suggest it, then?
595
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:52,079
What's wrong with you?
596
00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:53,130
Oh.
597
00:17:53,700 --> 00:17:55,679
Unless...
598
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:57,579
Can we not just get the fucking old
599
00:17:57,580 --> 00:17:58,639
beard man to do it?
600
00:17:58,640 --> 00:17:59,339
Jim?
601
00:17:59,340 --> 00:18:01,240
Jim, can we get Jim to get in the box?
602
00:18:01,260 --> 00:18:02,520
He's almost dead for real.
603
00:18:02,521 --> 00:18:03,679
You won't cope in there.
604
00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:04,479
It's too hot for him.
605
00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:06,039
Listen, all you have to do is lie there
606
00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:07,540
and pretend to be fucking dead.
607
00:18:07,541 --> 00:18:08,319
That's it.
608
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:09,859
Listen, if it kicks off, anything
609
00:18:09,860 --> 00:18:12,139
happens, they want to check you for any reason.
610
00:18:12,140 --> 00:18:14,099
They're going to bang on coffin three times.
611
00:18:14,100 --> 00:18:15,739
Now you know it's kicking off, put your
612
00:18:15,740 --> 00:18:18,020
fucking gauze mask on And then on the wiser.
613
00:18:18,021 --> 00:18:19,319
Do you understand?
614
00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:20,199
Put the fucking lid on.
615
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,019
You behave yourself in there, motherfucker.
616
00:18:22,020 --> 00:18:22,939
I'm serious.
617
00:18:22,940 --> 00:18:24,000
You be dead as fuck.
618
00:18:30,870 --> 00:18:32,789
Right, for the love of God, come on,
619
00:18:32,790 --> 00:18:33,249
let's have it.
620
00:18:33,250 --> 00:18:34,730
Now, you lot, oi!
621
00:18:35,410 --> 00:18:36,460
Somba as fuck.
622
00:18:40,930 --> 00:18:41,980
Fucking hell.
623
00:18:42,270 --> 00:18:43,320
That must be Donna.
624
00:18:44,570 --> 00:18:45,620
Is this our Barry?
625
00:18:45,850 --> 00:18:47,150
It is, yeah.
626
00:18:47,151 --> 00:18:47,749
Yeah.
627
00:18:47,750 --> 00:18:48,649
Yeah.
628
00:18:48,650 --> 00:18:49,790
Why is he in one coffin?
629
00:18:50,050 --> 00:18:51,949
Sorry, how d'you...
630
00:18:51,950 --> 00:18:53,000
How d'you mean?
631
00:18:53,250 --> 00:18:54,930
He blew into five pieces.
632
00:18:54,931 --> 00:18:56,209
Six.
633
00:18:56,210 --> 00:18:56,969
Thank you, ma'am.
634
00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:59,609
So if that was his final state, if
635
00:18:59,610 --> 00:19:01,189
that's what the Lord Almighty wanted
636
00:19:01,190 --> 00:19:03,949
for him, why isn't he in five coffins?
637
00:19:03,950 --> 00:19:05,000
Six.
638
00:19:05,001 --> 00:19:05,249
Oh, fuck.
639
00:19:05,250 --> 00:19:07,930
Well, we don't really do many coffins.
640
00:19:08,130 --> 00:19:10,050
They've sewn him back together, Donna.
641
00:19:10,910 --> 00:19:11,960
We have.
642
00:19:11,961 --> 00:19:13,809
Well, they'd better unsew him.
643
00:19:13,810 --> 00:19:14,860
Right, then.
644
00:19:15,010 --> 00:19:16,309
Cos I want to see him.
645
00:19:16,310 --> 00:19:17,360
Hmm.
646
00:19:17,830 --> 00:19:18,880
Before the funeral.
647
00:19:18,881 --> 00:19:20,469
Pah!
648
00:19:20,470 --> 00:19:21,520
In pieces.
649
00:19:21,950 --> 00:19:23,270
That's unusual, isn't it?
650
00:19:23,690 --> 00:19:26,170
Laid out on a tasteful sheet of silk.
651
00:19:26,171 --> 00:19:27,669
Right, then.
652
00:19:27,670 --> 00:19:28,720
Okay, of course.
653
00:19:33,450 --> 00:19:34,610
Come on, then.
654
00:19:36,650 --> 00:19:37,700
Oh, come on, then.
655
00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:39,149
Let's just go and have a...
656
00:19:39,150 --> 00:19:40,410
have a nice time.
657
00:19:40,690 --> 00:19:42,190
In the hole.
658
00:19:51,510 --> 00:19:52,790
See, dickhead?
659
00:19:52,791 --> 00:19:53,369
Nibbles.
660
00:19:53,370 --> 00:19:55,030
No, fuck the nibbles, dude.
661
00:19:55,550 --> 00:19:57,289
How are we gonna get him laid out on
662
00:19:57,290 --> 00:19:59,150
silk if we don't fucking body?
663
00:19:59,151 --> 00:20:00,109
Do you know what I mean?
664
00:20:00,110 --> 00:20:01,409
And six tiny coffins.
665
00:20:01,410 --> 00:20:02,529
How much is that gonna cost?
666
00:20:02,530 --> 00:20:03,809
We'll be fucking deal, won't it?
667
00:20:03,810 --> 00:20:04,989
I'm telling you, we're fucked.
668
00:20:04,990 --> 00:20:06,090
Hey, we're not fucked.
669
00:20:06,430 --> 00:20:07,750
I'm an innocent bystander.
670
00:20:07,770 --> 00:20:08,820
Listen to you.
671
00:20:08,821 --> 00:20:10,009
Fucking giving it big licks.
672
00:20:10,010 --> 00:20:12,329
You're the one who wanted to stop and
673
00:20:12,330 --> 00:20:13,949
fucking get a pizza, aren't you?
674
00:20:13,950 --> 00:20:14,209
Bastard.
675
00:20:14,210 --> 00:20:15,789
It was you that needed a shit with your
676
00:20:15,790 --> 00:20:16,840
crusty-ass crack.
677
00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:17,849
Yeah.
678
00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:18,249
Yeah.
679
00:20:18,250 --> 00:20:19,300
Phil Vincent.
680
00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:20,929
How would you know about...
681
00:20:20,930 --> 00:20:23,729
Lady of Death, Donna would like an
682
00:20:23,730 --> 00:20:25,689
audience with you now, Vincent, in the
683
00:20:25,690 --> 00:20:26,770
downstairs lavatory.
684
00:20:26,771 --> 00:20:27,409
What?
685
00:20:27,410 --> 00:20:29,450
It's a fucking weird location, isn't it?
686
00:20:30,150 --> 00:20:31,390
Come along, handsome.
687
00:20:31,570 --> 00:20:33,430
Sorry, I'm gonna bring you a cocktail.
688
00:20:33,431 --> 00:20:35,389
I had a poo because we stopped for pizza.
689
00:20:35,390 --> 00:20:36,440
Fuck off!
690
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:41,980
You all right?
691
00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:43,640
Vincent or Neil?
692
00:20:46,180 --> 00:20:47,230
Step inside.
693
00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:48,700
It's the coming, Sergeant.
694
00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:50,380
I'll leave you two to chat.
695
00:20:56,300 --> 00:20:57,350
Tight.
696
00:20:59,620 --> 00:21:01,060
This won't take long, Vinnie.
697
00:21:02,380 --> 00:21:04,120
We're all devastated about Barry.
698
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:07,200
But he was thick as our shit.
699
00:21:07,201 --> 00:21:09,679
So it comes as no surprise to me he
700
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:11,519
kicked an unexploded bomb and blew
701
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:12,900
himself all over a field.
702
00:21:14,140 --> 00:21:15,640
It's sad and it's crying shame.
703
00:21:19,570 --> 00:21:23,029
Now that I'm out of prison, I'm taking
704
00:21:23,030 --> 00:21:24,390
control of the business.
705
00:21:26,030 --> 00:21:29,629
And the word on the street is You grow
706
00:21:29,630 --> 00:21:33,270
the very best leaf in town, so...
707
00:21:36,500 --> 00:21:39,719
I know Davy was a less-than-considerate
708
00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:44,799
partner on your previous endeavour, but
709
00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:47,799
I will promise you, as a woman of my
710
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,880
word, that if you get into bed with me,
711
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:53,240
you won't end up fucked up the arse.
712
00:21:53,360 --> 00:21:54,410
Nice.
713
00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:55,940
That would be nice.
714
00:21:56,380 --> 00:22:00,280
Unfortunately, and I'm sorry to say this,
715
00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:05,299
Look, let me put it like this, my mate
716
00:22:05,300 --> 00:22:08,839
Dylan, very close to, he's gone missing
717
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:12,420
under really suspicious circumstances.
718
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:14,819
Now, I have it on good authority that
719
00:22:14,820 --> 00:22:16,999
he was your brother, David, and he's
720
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:18,220
fucking denying it.
721
00:22:18,221 --> 00:22:19,839
Now, look, I'd love to work with you,
722
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:20,980
but I can't can I?
723
00:22:20,981 --> 00:22:22,779
I can't work with people if I can't
724
00:22:22,780 --> 00:22:24,119
trust what's coming out of their mouth,
725
00:22:24,120 --> 00:22:25,500
Do you know what I'm saying?
726
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:27,380
And I am sorry.
727
00:22:33,060 --> 00:22:34,380
You want the truth.
728
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,080
You didn't hurt Dylan.
729
00:22:40,820 --> 00:22:43,099
In fact, if anything, from what Barry
730
00:22:43,100 --> 00:22:46,719
told me, he was a little bit in love
731
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:47,770
with him.
732
00:22:49,210 --> 00:22:50,510
I just fucking held it.
733
00:22:50,550 --> 00:22:52,490
I just find it really hard to believe.
734
00:23:05,100 --> 00:23:06,180
Strawberry daiquiri.
735
00:23:07,140 --> 00:23:08,599
You tried this?
736
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:09,639
Mm, no.
737
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:10,539
Would you like me to?
738
00:23:10,540 --> 00:23:11,139
I don't know.
739
00:23:11,140 --> 00:23:12,190
Oh, go on, then.
740
00:23:13,220 --> 00:23:14,270
Delicious.
741
00:23:14,271 --> 00:23:15,839
It's the nicest thing that's ever
742
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:16,940
passed my lips.
743
00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:18,210
Mm.
744
00:23:20,180 --> 00:23:22,200
I don't take no for an answer, Vinnie.
745
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:25,200
So, we'll pause this chat.
746
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:27,130
Say.
747
00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:29,080
To be continued.
748
00:23:29,260 --> 00:23:30,310
Oh.
749
00:23:30,980 --> 00:23:32,280
Excited for it.
750
00:23:32,420 --> 00:23:33,470
Let's go.
751
00:23:47,690 --> 00:23:49,609
What's up with my...
752
00:23:49,610 --> 00:23:50,810
He's not texting me back.
753
00:23:51,190 --> 00:23:53,190
Well, maybe his hand's restricted.
754
00:23:53,191 --> 00:23:54,929
Maybe he's not seen his messages.
755
00:23:54,930 --> 00:23:55,489
Yes.
756
00:23:55,490 --> 00:23:56,540
Maybe he's dead.
757
00:23:56,541 --> 00:23:58,049
Maybe he couldn't breathe after all.
758
00:23:58,050 --> 00:24:00,329
Carol is for an hour in a box with
759
00:24:00,330 --> 00:24:01,089
holes in, all right?
760
00:24:01,090 --> 00:24:03,010
He's not gonna die that quickly, is he?
761
00:24:03,850 --> 00:24:05,190
BELLS CHIME Ladies.
762
00:24:06,370 --> 00:24:07,420
Sorry.
763
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:12,499
Well, I would like very much to thank
764
00:24:12,500 --> 00:24:13,550
you for coming.
765
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:16,319
It's so nice to see so many friendly
766
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:19,619
faces here at an event that our Barry
767
00:24:19,620 --> 00:24:21,740
will have absolutely loved.
768
00:24:26,681 --> 00:24:29,819
No cocktail party would have been
769
00:24:29,820 --> 00:24:31,780
complete without our barriers.
770
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:34,130
What is that noise?
771
00:24:35,060 --> 00:24:36,620
It's like snoring.
772
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:39,359
No, no, no, that will
be the gas that's produced...
773
00:24:39,360 --> 00:24:40,079
You were telling me about that.
774
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:41,259
..as the microbes break down.
775
00:24:41,260 --> 00:24:42,740
I don't think so.
776
00:24:42,741 --> 00:24:43,759
It's definitely snoring.
777
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:44,810
Listen.
778
00:24:44,811 --> 00:24:45,559
She's right.
779
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:46,610
Yes, it's the gases.
780
00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:48,740
Oh, this is a lovely one, isn't it?
781
00:24:48,741 --> 00:24:49,839
This is get you that one.
782
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:51,420
Now, how about that?
783
00:24:51,421 --> 00:24:52,479
Oh, sorry.
784
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:53,530
What is that?
785
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:58,670
It seems to have gone away.
786
00:24:59,750 --> 00:25:01,529
Maybe it was the, erm...
787
00:25:01,530 --> 00:25:02,149
Gas.
788
00:25:02,150 --> 00:25:03,169
Gases.
789
00:25:03,170 --> 00:25:03,949
Science and tech.
790
00:25:03,950 --> 00:25:04,869
Gases and science.
791
00:25:04,870 --> 00:25:05,889
Right, well, I thought it would be a
792
00:25:05,890 --> 00:25:07,729
very nice idea if we all sang Barry's
793
00:25:07,730 --> 00:25:08,870
favourite song.
794
00:25:09,670 --> 00:25:12,690
And I would like everybody to join in.
795
00:25:12,810 --> 00:25:13,860
Hmm.
796
00:25:14,350 --> 00:25:15,400
DJ?
797
00:25:16,270 --> 00:25:19,330
Ha!
798
00:25:19,570 --> 00:25:20,890
Oh, God, she loves this one.
799
00:25:22,010 --> 00:25:23,060
Ha!
800
00:25:23,290 --> 00:25:27,089
Too many to walk in the joy But I can
801
00:25:27,090 --> 00:25:30,349
tell you as a man of distinction, I'm
802
00:25:30,350 --> 00:25:31,790
Phil Bigslander.
803
00:25:31,890 --> 00:25:32,990
I've found the body.
804
00:25:33,490 --> 00:25:35,490
Fuck me, do we hide?
805
00:25:36,570 --> 00:25:37,950
Come on, who's got it?
806
00:25:37,951 --> 00:25:39,189
Business email.
807
00:25:39,190 --> 00:25:41,149
Subject, I have your body, and when you
808
00:25:41,150 --> 00:25:42,890
open the email, there's this guy.
809
00:25:42,891 --> 00:25:44,529
Well, that's all fucked up.
810
00:25:44,530 --> 00:25:45,749
Someone's fucking with us here.
811
00:25:45,750 --> 00:25:46,689
They're happy about this.
812
00:25:46,690 --> 00:25:47,740
Who sent that?
813
00:25:47,950 --> 00:25:50,110
Some fucking joker called Phil Brilliance.
814
00:25:50,111 --> 00:25:51,369
Phil shagging brilliance.
815
00:25:51,370 --> 00:25:52,950
Well, he's from his work email.
816
00:25:53,650 --> 00:25:55,690
Phil Brilliants Waste Removal Services.
817
00:25:55,810 --> 00:25:57,810
There's a phone number and a dress.
818
00:25:57,811 --> 00:25:59,509
Oh, there's a dress!
819
00:25:59,510 --> 00:26:00,710
Fucking go get the lads!
820
00:26:02,210 --> 00:26:04,230
Oh, mate, it's like the Burt's Motel.
821
00:26:05,310 --> 00:26:06,690
He has fucked it, this fella.
822
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:21,780
So glad you could come.
823
00:26:21,781 --> 00:26:23,239
Dude, don't fuck about.
824
00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:24,860
Open this fucking door right now.
825
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:27,839
Well, what bad man has your mother
826
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:28,890
taught you?
827
00:26:29,620 --> 00:26:31,420
Open the fucking door, please.
828
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:34,699
Er, one moment, please, while I consult
829
00:26:34,700 --> 00:26:36,000
with Mr Brilliant's.
830
00:26:36,180 --> 00:26:37,580
Who should I say is calling?
831
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:39,640
Why would you consult with Brilliant?
832
00:26:39,641 --> 00:26:41,419
Fuck, I'm not talking to this puppet.
833
00:26:41,420 --> 00:26:42,899
Take your hand out of the arse of this
834
00:26:42,900 --> 00:26:45,239
fucking thing, unlock the door and tell
835
00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:46,219
us what you've done.
836
00:26:46,220 --> 00:26:47,159
We've sewn together Barry.
837
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:49,140
I'm gonna fucking snap in a minute, dude.
838
00:26:49,980 --> 00:26:51,030
Oh, right.
839
00:26:51,031 --> 00:26:52,139
Yeah, you've upset his puppet now,
840
00:26:52,140 --> 00:26:52,579
haven't you?
841
00:26:52,580 --> 00:26:53,720
What do you mean?
842
00:26:53,721 --> 00:26:56,199
Clearly not mentally stable, is there?
843
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:57,859
I mean, he's nicked a fucking coffin.
844
00:26:57,860 --> 00:26:59,059
He's speaking through a puppet.
845
00:26:59,060 --> 00:27:00,920
I hate to say it, but on this occasion,
846
00:27:00,921 --> 00:27:01,759
she is correct.
847
00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:03,519
The way to go about this is very much
848
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:05,540
softly, softly, gadget monkey.
849
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:06,980
Ha-ha-ha!
850
00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:08,440
Good afternoon!
851
00:27:08,441 --> 00:27:09,219
Good afternoon.
852
00:27:09,220 --> 00:27:11,879
My name's Phil Brilliance and this is
853
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:13,100
my good friend Russell.
854
00:27:13,291 --> 00:27:14,739
What?
855
00:27:14,740 --> 00:27:15,790
Oh, yes.
856
00:27:16,300 --> 00:27:17,350
Shake your hands.
857
00:27:17,351 --> 00:27:18,079
Why me?
858
00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:19,399
Vinny, do you shake his hand for Foxy?
859
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:20,059
Yeah.
860
00:27:20,060 --> 00:27:21,099
Nice one, Russell.
861
00:27:21,100 --> 00:27:21,679
Fucking ass.
862
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:23,019
Well, Russell, aren't you going to
863
00:27:23,020 --> 00:27:24,070
invite them in?
864
00:27:24,180 --> 00:27:25,230
No.
865
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:27,559
You invite them in and I don't like the
866
00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:28,499
look of them.
867
00:27:28,500 --> 00:27:31,099
Especially the child dressed like my
868
00:27:31,100 --> 00:27:32,119
army race.
869
00:27:32,120 --> 00:27:32,399
Russell!
870
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:33,559
It's party wear, isn't it?
871
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:36,380
Oh, I am sorry about him, ladies and gentlemen.
872
00:27:36,381 --> 00:27:38,239
Please do.
873
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:38,959
Come in.
874
00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:40,010
I've got snacks.
875
00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:43,120
You're fucking exhausting, Philip.
876
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:45,640
Good fucking Lord God.
877
00:27:47,380 --> 00:27:48,430
Thank you, Russell.
878
00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:50,660
Please help yourself to food and drinks.
879
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:53,060
We've poisoned them.
880
00:27:53,100 --> 00:27:54,260
No, we haven't.
881
00:27:54,420 --> 00:27:55,900
Yeah, we're joeys joking.
882
00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:59,080
Yeah, or am I?
883
00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:00,840
All right, fucking hell.
884
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:03,280
Yeah, what's he like?
885
00:28:03,460 --> 00:28:05,400
He's just a fucking right one.
886
00:28:05,401 --> 00:28:07,599
Why don't we just put him down for a minute?
887
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:10,019
Us human beings have a very serious
888
00:28:10,020 --> 00:28:12,279
business conversation about the
889
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:14,260
whereabouts of that bloody corpse, eh?
890
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:16,970
And coffin.
891
00:28:16,971 --> 00:28:18,259
And the fucking coffin as well.
892
00:28:18,260 --> 00:28:20,640
Well, Russell, what do you think about that?
893
00:28:21,020 --> 00:28:22,070
Ooh-hoo!
894
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:25,419
Can I have a word in your ear?
895
00:28:25,420 --> 00:28:26,700
Yeah, of course you can.
896
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:29,459
Excuse me, could we just have a moment
897
00:28:29,460 --> 00:28:31,140
alone, will we have a chat please?
898
00:28:32,260 --> 00:28:33,310
What is it?
899
00:28:35,220 --> 00:28:36,900
Don't fuck it up.
900
00:28:37,420 --> 00:28:38,600
Dirty bastard.
901
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:43,320
Philip, Philip, Phil.
902
00:28:43,420 --> 00:28:44,470
Nearly finished.
903
00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:51,940
Phil has asked me to negotiate on his behalf.
904
00:28:51,941 --> 00:28:53,919
No, fuck off!
905
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:54,859
Fuck no!
906
00:28:54,860 --> 00:28:55,910
It's a fucking...
907
00:28:56,060 --> 00:28:57,760
I am a very patient idiot.
908
00:28:57,761 --> 00:28:59,019
Give me that fucking dog.
909
00:28:59,020 --> 00:28:59,459
No!
910
00:28:59,460 --> 00:29:01,699
The time for fighting around is very
911
00:29:01,700 --> 00:29:02,359
much over.
912
00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:04,640
We're in dire fucking straits, dude.
913
00:29:04,900 --> 00:29:05,960
Dire straits.
914
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:08,320
We need another location with fucking body.
915
00:29:08,340 --> 00:29:10,020
I'm not pissing around here, dude.
916
00:29:10,021 --> 00:29:11,179
Here.
917
00:29:11,180 --> 00:29:12,230
Fuck me, I'm sorry.
918
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:17,940
Where's our fucking coffin?
919
00:29:17,941 --> 00:29:18,859
Right, stop.
920
00:29:18,860 --> 00:29:19,879
What's going on here?
921
00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:21,359
Fucking hell, you're scaring him.
922
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:22,410
Phil.
923
00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:23,810
Hi.
924
00:29:24,020 --> 00:29:26,900
Listen, you messaged us.
925
00:29:26,901 --> 00:29:27,979
Remember?
926
00:29:27,980 --> 00:29:28,999
Yeah.
927
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,880
We've come to find out what that reason was.
928
00:29:32,580 --> 00:29:33,630
OK.
929
00:29:33,740 --> 00:29:36,780
Barry McDonagh was a very scary man.
930
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:40,920
And his family are very scary people.
931
00:29:41,700 --> 00:29:43,320
So we need it back.
932
00:29:43,940 --> 00:29:44,990
Quite urgently.
933
00:29:46,540 --> 00:29:47,590
OK.
934
00:29:47,591 --> 00:29:48,639
OK.
935
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:49,679
I'll talk.
936
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:50,219
OK.
937
00:29:50,220 --> 00:29:51,940
I want my lawyer present.
938
00:29:52,201 --> 00:29:53,919
You want your lawyer?
939
00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:54,539
Yeah.
940
00:29:54,540 --> 00:29:55,980
And he's in that box?
941
00:29:55,981 --> 00:29:56,439
Yeah.
942
00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:57,199
Right.
943
00:29:57,200 --> 00:29:58,699
I just can't imagine where this is
944
00:29:58,700 --> 00:29:59,179
gonna go.
945
00:29:59,180 --> 00:30:00,860
All right, you can get your lawyer.
946
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:02,620
You sit here.
947
00:30:03,300 --> 00:30:04,800
Out of harm's way.
948
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:08,730
Come on.
949
00:30:09,100 --> 00:30:10,150
Come out, you come.
950
00:30:10,660 --> 00:30:11,710
We've got business.
951
00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:13,520
Oh, Jesus Christ.
952
00:30:13,521 --> 00:30:14,659
Wow.
953
00:30:14,660 --> 00:30:16,260
Oh, total legal mind.
954
00:30:16,980 --> 00:30:19,920
This is, er, Singin Mosley.
955
00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:24,480
Good afternoon, gentlemen and ladies.
956
00:30:25,020 --> 00:30:27,440
You're right, Singin.
957
00:30:27,580 --> 00:30:29,779
Listen, is there any chance you could
958
00:30:29,780 --> 00:30:32,759
ask your client the whereabouts of the
959
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:34,620
fucking corpse he's stolen?
960
00:30:34,820 --> 00:30:36,040
I mean...
961
00:30:36,970 --> 00:30:39,369
The gentleman with the horrendous neck
962
00:30:39,370 --> 00:30:42,529
tattoo wishes to know the location of,
963
00:30:42,530 --> 00:30:44,770
I quote, A stolen body?
964
00:30:45,230 --> 00:30:47,130
I advise caution in your response.
965
00:30:47,450 --> 00:30:48,500
Ahem.
966
00:30:48,650 --> 00:30:51,109
Right, tell the gentleman the body's
967
00:30:51,110 --> 00:30:54,049
stored in a safe location, but unless I
968
00:30:54,050 --> 00:30:56,789
get a full and frank apology from that
969
00:30:56,790 --> 00:30:59,269
monster, Davey McDonough, I will not
970
00:30:59,270 --> 00:31:00,830
reveal the location of the body.
971
00:31:02,220 --> 00:31:03,479
My client says...
972
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:04,219
No, dude!
973
00:31:04,220 --> 00:31:06,140
We fucking heard what the client said!
974
00:31:06,141 --> 00:31:07,199
You said it!
975
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:08,580
I can see your lips move.
976
00:31:08,581 --> 00:31:10,219
At least drink some water at the same time.
977
00:31:10,220 --> 00:31:11,480
It's very underwhelming.
978
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:12,650
What apology?
979
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:15,899
The lady asks, what is the nature of
980
00:31:15,900 --> 00:31:16,950
the apology?
981
00:31:17,180 --> 00:31:18,500
Well, it's simple, innit?
982
00:31:18,900 --> 00:31:21,440
That man, Davey McDonagh.
983
00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:26,020
You ruined my life.
984
00:31:29,470 --> 00:31:32,150
Can we take a moment for my client, please?
985
00:31:32,970 --> 00:31:34,110
Thank you.
986
00:31:36,110 --> 00:31:37,160
Fucking hell.
987
00:31:39,380 --> 00:31:41,359
Mr Brilliance would like me to recount
988
00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:43,840
his story to you on his behalf.
989
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:46,920
Would you mind making yourselves comfortable?
990
00:31:49,470 --> 00:31:53,190
It all started several years ago when Mr.
991
00:31:53,470 --> 00:31:55,869
Brilliance ran a hugely successful
992
00:31:55,870 --> 00:31:58,610
children's entertainment business.
993
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:06,179
Phil's business was the most successful
994
00:32:06,180 --> 00:32:07,230
in the region.
995
00:32:07,231 --> 00:32:09,159
There was so much work he couldn't fit
996
00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:10,210
it all in.
997
00:32:10,300 --> 00:32:12,219
Parents would recommend him to other
998
00:32:12,220 --> 00:32:15,419
parents, word spread, and the kids
999
00:32:15,420 --> 00:32:18,099
adored him, especially when he brought
1000
00:32:18,100 --> 00:32:22,079
out the star of Virgil the Cheeky Monkey.
1001
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:23,820
Boys and girls, it's Virgil.
1002
00:32:23,980 --> 00:32:25,260
Virgil, how are you?
1003
00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:30,039
Then, one fateful day, Phil got hired
1004
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:32,859
by Davy McDonagh to throw a party for
1005
00:32:32,860 --> 00:32:34,400
his niece, Mabel.
1006
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:36,380
That's Donna's daughter.
1007
00:32:37,220 --> 00:32:38,270
Correct.
1008
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:40,360
Now, my best friend is a monkey.
1009
00:32:40,361 --> 00:32:41,739
He's called Virgil.
1010
00:32:41,740 --> 00:32:43,779
Unaware of the McDonagh's fearsome
1011
00:32:43,780 --> 00:32:46,679
reputation, Phil did his usual routine
1012
00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:48,140
and the party went well.
1013
00:32:48,900 --> 00:32:51,599
Right up to the point where Virgil made
1014
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:52,159
his appearance.
1015
00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:53,259
Do you want to go up and say hello to
1016
00:32:53,260 --> 00:32:54,310
the grown-ups?
1017
00:32:54,660 --> 00:32:55,710
All right, here.
1018
00:32:55,780 --> 00:32:57,700
Let's go and say hello to the grown-ups.
1019
00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:10,140
It was an innocent mistake.
1020
00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:13,060
And Phil tried to apologise afterwards,
1021
00:33:13,100 --> 00:33:14,960
but things turned nasty.
1022
00:33:14,961 --> 00:33:17,299
You made a monkey out of me back there,
1023
00:33:17,300 --> 00:33:18,279
didn't you, puppet boy?
1024
00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:20,159
I apologise, I'll do the show for free
1025
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:20,959
by way of saying sorry.
1026
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:22,919
I think some compensation might be in order.
1027
00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:23,679
Compensation?
1028
00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:25,799
For my hurt feelings and for the
1029
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:27,179
distress and trauma caused to a group
1030
00:33:27,180 --> 00:33:28,759
of innocent eight-year-olds who have
1031
00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:30,899
now been exposed at far too early an
1032
00:33:30,900 --> 00:33:33,419
age to the sight of an unfeasibly large
1033
00:33:33,420 --> 00:33:34,560
male phallus.
1034
00:33:34,561 --> 00:33:36,339
Yeah, but it wasn't that unfeasibly
1035
00:33:36,340 --> 00:33:37,390
large, was it?
1036
00:33:39,580 --> 00:33:40,630
Oh, no!
1037
00:33:40,631 --> 00:33:42,479
Well, then, what happened?
1038
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:43,499
Say goodbye!
1039
00:33:43,500 --> 00:33:45,240
This is going in the fucking river!
1040
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:47,850
Bye!
1041
00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:51,960
Not so fucking brilliant now, are you, Phil?
1042
00:33:52,380 --> 00:33:54,640
OK, now, that is brutal, Matt.
1043
00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:57,340
But that wasn't the end of it.
1044
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:12,200
Threats, intimidation.
1045
00:34:12,201 --> 00:34:14,159
Every time you turned up to a
1046
00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:16,680
children's party, there they were.
1047
00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:22,380
Not today, Puppet Boy.
1048
00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:25,619
They started spreading rumours that he
1049
00:34:25,620 --> 00:34:28,299
was a paedophile, that he touched up a
1050
00:34:28,300 --> 00:34:30,679
little girl at a children's party with
1051
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:32,320
his hand inside a monkey.
1052
00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:34,810
And did he?
1053
00:34:34,860 --> 00:34:35,910
No!
1054
00:34:36,580 --> 00:34:37,630
They ruined me.
1055
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:39,080
They ruined my business.
1056
00:34:39,100 --> 00:34:40,160
My wife left me.
1057
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:41,540
I was sick with stress.
1058
00:34:42,140 --> 00:34:44,200
Everyone thought I was a nonce.
1059
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:46,720
And all because he didn't wear boxer shorts.
1060
00:34:46,860 --> 00:34:48,280
Oh, dear God.
1061
00:34:48,580 --> 00:34:49,630
It's a bloody shame.
1062
00:34:49,631 --> 00:34:51,239
Phil, do you know what, honestly, man?
1063
00:34:51,240 --> 00:34:53,539
I can see that they've really, really
1064
00:34:53,540 --> 00:34:54,219
hurt you there.
1065
00:34:54,220 --> 00:34:55,700
Wankers, the pair of them.
1066
00:34:55,701 --> 00:34:57,039
But you're never going to get an
1067
00:34:57,040 --> 00:34:58,180
apology off them, dude.
1068
00:34:58,181 --> 00:34:58,659
Never.
1069
00:34:58,660 --> 00:35:00,299
Never in a million fucking years.
1070
00:35:00,300 --> 00:35:01,739
Well, then he's never gonna get his
1071
00:35:01,740 --> 00:35:02,790
brother back, is he?
1072
00:35:02,791 --> 00:35:03,419
Ah!
1073
00:35:03,420 --> 00:35:05,520
He'll fucking kill you, you non-tea prick.
1074
00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:07,400
They've already killed me!
1075
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:10,080
The day they killed Virgil.
1076
00:35:10,900 --> 00:35:13,339
That monkey...
1077
00:35:13,340 --> 00:35:15,000
He was my best friend.
1078
00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:18,040
Not only that, it was my livelihood.
1079
00:35:18,460 --> 00:35:20,100
They tore my world apart.
1080
00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:28,020
HE SOBS There, there.
1081
00:35:29,060 --> 00:35:30,879
Now, that, that's talent.
1082
00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:32,000
Put that in your act.
1083
00:35:32,001 --> 00:35:33,259
All right.
1084
00:35:33,260 --> 00:35:34,219
Good.
1085
00:35:34,220 --> 00:35:35,399
Right, what are the chances of getting
1086
00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:36,319
David to apologise?
1087
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:37,759
Fucking zero.
1088
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:39,919
He would have to fess up to losing his brother.
1089
00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:40,879
It's not gonna go down well.
1090
00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:42,260
I've got a fucking idea.
1091
00:35:42,261 --> 00:35:43,719
Gary said some places have started
1092
00:35:43,720 --> 00:35:45,359
doing this thing where a family member
1093
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:46,819
recalls themselves talking about their
1094
00:35:46,820 --> 00:35:48,759
lost loved one, like something funny, a
1095
00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:49,919
weird fucking anecdote.
1096
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:51,179
To warm people up, the undertaker
1097
00:35:51,180 --> 00:35:52,619
usually writes something and gets them
1098
00:35:52,620 --> 00:35:53,459
to say it to camera.
1099
00:35:53,460 --> 00:35:55,200
What if we convince David to do one,
1100
00:35:55,201 --> 00:35:57,099
write up some sentences as his warm-up
1101
00:35:57,100 --> 00:35:58,720
and we edit them into an apology?
1102
00:35:58,721 --> 00:36:00,239
Bah!
1103
00:36:00,240 --> 00:36:01,540
It's a shit idea.
1104
00:36:02,180 --> 00:36:03,380
I think it's a great idea.
1105
00:36:03,381 --> 00:36:05,999
Why don't we just stand up and tell a story?
1106
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:07,060
I'll tell you for why.
1107
00:36:07,900 --> 00:36:09,659
So, on the day there is gonna be a lot
1108
00:36:09,660 --> 00:36:11,000
of emotion, all right?
1109
00:36:11,001 --> 00:36:11,679
You know what?
1110
00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:12,940
You've lost your brother.
1111
00:36:12,941 --> 00:36:14,839
And I don't think it matters how many
1112
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:16,400
times you rehearse that speech.
1113
00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:18,180
Emotion could creep in and ruin it.
1114
00:36:18,181 --> 00:36:19,759
And what tends to happen now, it's
1115
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:21,259
very, very popular, isn't it?
1116
00:36:21,260 --> 00:36:22,279
Yeah, it's a modern trend.
1117
00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:24,079
Modern trend, especially with the rich folks.
1118
00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:24,479
Yeah.
1119
00:36:24,480 --> 00:36:26,519
They record it, they put it on a big
1120
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:28,779
old screen there, People gather around
1121
00:36:28,780 --> 00:36:30,520
and it becomes more of an event.
1122
00:36:30,521 --> 00:36:31,979
Do you know what I mean?
1123
00:36:31,980 --> 00:36:33,030
Makes sense.
1124
00:36:33,620 --> 00:36:34,670
Okay.
1125
00:36:34,720 --> 00:36:35,770
I'm sold.
1126
00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:38,860
I'll tell the wheelbarrow pig story.
1127
00:36:39,140 --> 00:36:40,190
It's hilarious.
1128
00:36:40,460 --> 00:36:42,339
It's just the David- Oh, I am fucking
1129
00:36:42,340 --> 00:36:44,040
brilliant at anecdotes.
1130
00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:47,600
I tell you what, why don't you both do one?
1131
00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:50,120
Thank God for this one.
1132
00:36:52,300 --> 00:36:53,920
I'd just like to say a few words.
1133
00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:55,970
I am very sorry.
1134
00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:58,400
Do you feel for all the pain?
1135
00:36:59,431 --> 00:37:01,259
And furthermore...
1136
00:37:01,260 --> 00:37:02,279
And that'll be that, Phil.
1137
00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:04,040
I mean, Phil, it's good stuff.
1138
00:37:04,140 --> 00:37:05,499
I mean, that's...
1139
00:37:05,500 --> 00:37:07,120
That has been edited.
1140
00:37:07,121 --> 00:37:08,479
It's not been edited yet.
1141
00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:10,100
It has a little bit, cos he pauses.
1142
00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:11,200
He's a fucking pauser.
1143
00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:13,959
That is a full-throttle apology you
1144
00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:15,010
just heard there.
1145
00:37:15,011 --> 00:37:15,579
No.
1146
00:37:15,580 --> 00:37:17,759
It's fucking rare, that, to get an
1147
00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:18,999
apology of someone like him.
1148
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:20,860
David McDonagh giving an apology.
1149
00:37:21,100 --> 00:37:22,259
Rare as fucking...
1150
00:37:22,260 --> 00:37:22,719
Endstief.
1151
00:37:22,720 --> 00:37:23,379
Endstief!
1152
00:37:23,380 --> 00:37:23,799
It's the same.
1153
00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:25,580
We've got 20 fucking hours, dude.
1154
00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:26,999
20 hours, that's it.
1155
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:29,279
and then the funeral starts, and for
1156
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:31,559
reasons only known to his fucking
1157
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:33,499
psychopath sister, she wants to have a
1158
00:37:33,500 --> 00:37:35,660
look at him, Barry, in bits.
1159
00:37:35,860 --> 00:37:37,720
It's the fucking times of the essence.
1160
00:37:39,610 --> 00:37:41,729
My client says he's not prepared to
1161
00:37:41,730 --> 00:37:43,510
reveal the whereabouts of the body.
1162
00:37:43,511 --> 00:37:45,209
Fuck you, Sid, you know whatever the
1163
00:37:45,210 --> 00:37:46,260
fuck you're doing.
1164
00:37:49,050 --> 00:37:51,129
Dude, you're fucking putting all our
1165
00:37:51,130 --> 00:37:53,130
lives at risk, is what you're doing.
1166
00:37:53,630 --> 00:37:55,830
I'm on a face-to-face apology!
1167
00:37:55,950 --> 00:37:58,509
You are never, ever, in a thousand
1168
00:37:58,510 --> 00:38:00,589
fucking years, ever gonna get an
1169
00:38:00,590 --> 00:38:02,330
apology out of them sociopaths!
1170
00:38:02,450 --> 00:38:03,500
It's not happening!
1171
00:38:03,501 --> 00:38:04,709
Nobody.
1172
00:38:04,710 --> 00:38:05,189
No!
1173
00:38:05,190 --> 00:38:07,170
Oh, fuck my arse!
1174
00:38:08,130 --> 00:38:10,470
Right, bodies are really fucking heavy, yeah?
1175
00:38:10,730 --> 00:38:12,470
So, A, it's gonna be hard to hide one.
1176
00:38:12,471 --> 00:38:14,189
B, it's a fucking weirdo, so chances
1177
00:38:14,190 --> 00:38:15,629
are he's gonna want it close to him.
1178
00:38:15,630 --> 00:38:16,549
What is, Jestyn?
1179
00:38:16,550 --> 00:38:17,429
We'll wait till it goes out.
1180
00:38:17,430 --> 00:38:19,310
We break in, we have a look around,
1181
00:38:19,311 --> 00:38:21,109
loft, attic, garden, everywhere.
1182
00:38:21,110 --> 00:38:23,530
No, what if he stays in all night?
1183
00:38:23,531 --> 00:38:25,589
Everyone leaves eventually, Vincent,
1184
00:38:25,590 --> 00:38:26,469
even ventriloquists.
1185
00:38:26,470 --> 00:38:27,949
Oh, wait, I know how to get him out of
1186
00:38:27,950 --> 00:38:28,629
the house.
1187
00:38:28,630 --> 00:38:30,209
Book a waste removal tonight, false
1188
00:38:30,210 --> 00:38:31,329
address, miles away.
1189
00:38:31,330 --> 00:38:32,380
Fucking sick.
1190
00:38:32,381 --> 00:38:33,469
Punch the air.
1191
00:38:33,470 --> 00:38:34,520
Here we go.
1192
00:38:35,210 --> 00:38:38,250
Any sign?
1193
00:38:38,251 --> 00:38:40,369
Yeah, he came out about ten minutes
1194
00:38:40,370 --> 00:38:41,669
ago, and she didn't say anything about it.
1195
00:38:41,670 --> 00:38:43,230
He's been a dickhead to them all.
1196
00:38:43,890 --> 00:38:45,650
I booked that job for 7.15.
1197
00:38:45,651 --> 00:38:46,529
Why hasn't he left?
1198
00:38:46,530 --> 00:38:47,989
Christ, what have you said to him?
1199
00:38:47,990 --> 00:38:48,889
You put a voice on him.
1200
00:38:48,890 --> 00:38:49,409
I did, yeah.
1201
00:38:49,410 --> 00:38:52,430
I went, hello, is this garden removal?
1202
00:38:52,570 --> 00:38:53,620
You didn't, did you?
1203
00:38:53,621 --> 00:38:54,609
I did, yeah, why?
1204
00:38:54,610 --> 00:38:55,569
Fucking hell.
1205
00:38:55,570 --> 00:38:56,549
Well, that's what the voice people do
1206
00:38:56,550 --> 00:38:57,349
when they're trying to sound like a
1207
00:38:57,350 --> 00:38:57,669
posh person.
1208
00:38:57,670 --> 00:38:57,869
Oh, is it a spork?
1209
00:38:57,870 --> 00:38:59,130
Not an actual posh person.
1210
00:38:59,170 --> 00:39:00,220
It is, Eddyn.
1211
00:39:00,221 --> 00:39:01,049
You had one job.
1212
00:39:01,050 --> 00:39:02,310
I'm over here, meanwhile.
1213
00:39:02,311 --> 00:39:04,089
Fucking mastery impersonations.
1214
00:39:04,090 --> 00:39:04,769
Could do any accent.
1215
00:39:04,770 --> 00:39:04,989
Oh, yeah.
1216
00:39:04,990 --> 00:39:05,989
Was I called upon?
1217
00:39:05,990 --> 00:39:07,430
Well, no, no, I wasn't.
1218
00:39:07,431 --> 00:39:09,189
Fucking sound like Jimmy Savile and Vin
1219
00:39:09,190 --> 00:39:10,209
Diesel mixed.
1220
00:39:10,210 --> 00:39:11,710
That's my own voice, isn't it?
1221
00:39:11,711 --> 00:39:13,209
It's my natural-born voice, dickhead.
1222
00:39:13,210 --> 00:39:13,969
You're so annoying!
1223
00:39:13,970 --> 00:39:14,809
Go!
1224
00:39:14,810 --> 00:39:15,860
Go, go, go!
1225
00:39:15,870 --> 00:39:17,769
Shut up, you pair of fucking lemons.
1226
00:39:17,770 --> 00:39:18,789
I fucking lost it.
1227
00:39:18,790 --> 00:39:20,170
Fucking annoyed me, it does.
1228
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:23,920
Well, look at the fucking course.
1229
00:39:24,140 --> 00:39:25,190
Look at it.
1230
00:39:25,191 --> 00:39:26,899
Fucking hell.
1231
00:39:26,900 --> 00:39:27,950
Fucking run it!
1232
00:39:32,710 --> 00:39:33,760
Oh!
1233
00:39:34,070 --> 00:39:35,670
Get off him, over.
1234
00:39:35,910 --> 00:39:37,530
How do you know?
1235
00:39:37,750 --> 00:39:38,800
Phil Brilliance.
1236
00:39:38,801 --> 00:39:39,909
Can't tell me who's asking.
1237
00:39:39,910 --> 00:39:41,729
Oh, God, dude, we're asking you.
1238
00:39:41,730 --> 00:39:43,029
Oh, right, you just asked, right.
1239
00:39:43,030 --> 00:39:44,109
OK, could I ask something?
1240
00:39:44,110 --> 00:39:44,689
Can I ask something?
1241
00:39:44,690 --> 00:39:44,989
Yes!
1242
00:39:44,990 --> 00:39:45,949
Why are you slamming me against her
1243
00:39:45,950 --> 00:39:46,869
like fucking RAF?
1244
00:39:46,870 --> 00:39:47,229
Who does?
1245
00:39:47,230 --> 00:39:47,809
Wills.
1246
00:39:47,810 --> 00:39:49,189
Interrogating me about legitimate
1247
00:39:49,190 --> 00:39:51,689
friendships that are going on in Harlem Town.
1248
00:39:51,690 --> 00:39:53,970
Because his nicks are dead body Barry Madonna.
1249
00:39:54,210 --> 00:39:56,249
Yeah, and there's no way he's moved it
1250
00:39:56,250 --> 00:39:57,709
on his own So tell us what you know
1251
00:39:57,710 --> 00:39:59,830
because I need that fucking coughing bag.
1252
00:39:59,831 --> 00:40:00,269
All right.
1253
00:40:00,270 --> 00:40:00,869
Okay.
1254
00:40:00,870 --> 00:40:02,749
Yeah sure So what someone goes off?
1255
00:40:02,750 --> 00:40:04,730
So who do you blame Ronnie Croft, right?
1256
00:40:04,750 --> 00:40:06,829
Do me a favor stick this in your kettle
1257
00:40:06,830 --> 00:40:08,949
and you know what smoke it cuz I work
1258
00:40:08,950 --> 00:40:10,690
for him You fucking work for him.
1259
00:40:10,730 --> 00:40:13,990
Yeah W-U-R-R-K work.
1260
00:40:14,210 --> 00:40:15,529
Okay, Ronnie Croft.
1261
00:40:15,530 --> 00:40:16,489
He's clocking on.
1262
00:40:16,490 --> 00:40:18,569
He's paying his taxes I ain't paying taxes.
1263
00:40:18,570 --> 00:40:19,429
Shut up!
1264
00:40:19,430 --> 00:40:21,449
You move garden shit for Phil
1265
00:40:21,450 --> 00:40:22,349
Brilliants, yeah?
1266
00:40:22,350 --> 00:40:22,509
Yeah.
1267
00:40:22,510 --> 00:40:23,789
Man, I've got a gig tonight, actually.
1268
00:40:23,790 --> 00:40:24,369
That's what I call it.
1269
00:40:24,370 --> 00:40:25,329
I'm just nipping out.
1270
00:40:25,330 --> 00:40:26,649
I'm just nipping out to do a gig.
1271
00:40:26,650 --> 00:40:26,989
Do you know what I mean?
1272
00:40:26,990 --> 00:40:28,169
See, if you just let me off here, man,
1273
00:40:28,170 --> 00:40:29,069
I can just...
1274
00:40:29,070 --> 00:40:30,120
Split.
1275
00:40:30,150 --> 00:40:31,200
Run it, sweetheart.
1276
00:40:31,201 --> 00:40:32,909
Do you expect us to believe, right,
1277
00:40:32,910 --> 00:40:34,589
that you work for the blog, but you've
1278
00:40:34,590 --> 00:40:37,110
no idea about this fucking missing corpse?
1279
00:40:37,111 --> 00:40:38,049
And coffin.
1280
00:40:38,050 --> 00:40:38,909
And coffin.
1281
00:40:38,910 --> 00:40:41,850
Look, I swear to jar on Erin's life.
1282
00:40:41,930 --> 00:40:42,980
Fucking run it!
1283
00:40:43,630 --> 00:40:44,830
Right, do you not think?
1284
00:40:44,831 --> 00:40:45,569
Come on, guys.
1285
00:40:45,570 --> 00:40:45,989
It's me.
1286
00:40:45,990 --> 00:40:48,030
I'd have noticed a fucking stolen coffin.
1287
00:40:48,250 --> 00:40:49,409
That massive, then?
1288
00:40:49,410 --> 00:40:51,769
You are gonna help us find out what
1289
00:40:51,770 --> 00:40:52,869
he's fucking done with it.
1290
00:40:52,870 --> 00:40:53,920
Okay.
1291
00:40:53,921 --> 00:40:55,149
Oh, me?
1292
00:40:55,150 --> 00:40:55,829
God.
1293
00:40:55,830 --> 00:40:56,249
That's fucking you.
1294
00:40:56,250 --> 00:40:57,129
Yes.
1295
00:40:57,130 --> 00:40:58,029
Fucking hell.
1296
00:40:58,030 --> 00:40:59,610
We can't go back in, can we?
1297
00:40:59,830 --> 00:41:01,810
For some reason, he clearly trusts you.
1298
00:41:01,811 --> 00:41:02,509
Don't know why.
1299
00:41:02,510 --> 00:41:03,109
Don't know why.
1300
00:41:03,110 --> 00:41:04,869
So you need to go back in and find out
1301
00:41:04,870 --> 00:41:06,009
where that fucking dead body is.
1302
00:41:06,010 --> 00:41:06,509
And coffin.
1303
00:41:06,510 --> 00:41:07,049
And coffin.
1304
00:41:07,050 --> 00:41:07,589
And coffin.
1305
00:41:07,590 --> 00:41:08,609
Yes.
1306
00:41:08,610 --> 00:41:09,149
Both.
1307
00:41:09,150 --> 00:41:10,370
Don't fucking run off.
1308
00:41:10,371 --> 00:41:11,109
Yes.
1309
00:41:11,110 --> 00:41:12,160
Don't run off.
1310
00:41:12,250 --> 00:41:13,690
We fucking stay just with you.
1311
00:41:14,130 --> 00:41:16,149
Would you not agree that that man is a
1312
00:41:16,150 --> 00:41:16,829
fucking bellend?
1313
00:41:16,830 --> 00:41:17,529
Dude.
1314
00:41:17,530 --> 00:41:17,949
Innit?
1315
00:41:17,950 --> 00:41:18,969
Right, can't be trusted.
1316
00:41:18,970 --> 00:41:21,389
So, how's about me and you come up with
1317
00:41:21,390 --> 00:41:23,030
a little back-up plan?
1318
00:41:23,031 --> 00:41:25,009
Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock,
1319
00:41:25,010 --> 00:41:25,809
knock, knock, knock, knock.
1320
00:41:25,810 --> 00:41:26,950
All right, you're late.
1321
00:41:27,050 --> 00:41:28,230
Yes, you are late.
1322
00:41:28,330 --> 00:41:29,890
All right, Arnold, don't start.
1323
00:41:29,891 --> 00:41:32,109
I just got lost en route, en route a toot-toot.
1324
00:41:32,110 --> 00:41:33,389
All right, right, we need to have a word.
1325
00:41:33,390 --> 00:41:34,440
We need to have a chat.
1326
00:41:36,910 --> 00:41:38,730
Look, we're late for the job.
1327
00:41:38,731 --> 00:41:40,289
What do you want to speak to me about, Ronnie?
1328
00:41:40,290 --> 00:41:43,010
Cos we got problemo magnificio.
1329
00:41:43,011 --> 00:41:44,369
Meaning what?
1330
00:41:44,370 --> 00:41:45,669
Oh, come on, Phil, stay the fucking
1331
00:41:45,670 --> 00:41:46,449
dummy down, mate.
1332
00:41:46,450 --> 00:41:47,970
I am not a dummy.
1333
00:41:48,110 --> 00:41:49,910
Well, yeah, you are a fucking dummy.
1334
00:41:49,911 --> 00:41:50,689
Dummy.
1335
00:41:50,690 --> 00:41:52,189
Well, I'm less of a dummy than you,
1336
00:41:52,190 --> 00:41:52,529
aren't I?
1337
00:41:52,530 --> 00:41:54,970
He's actually arguing with a fucking dog.
1338
00:41:54,971 --> 00:41:56,109
Look at your legs!
1339
00:41:56,110 --> 00:41:57,369
They're made of cloth!
1340
00:41:57,370 --> 00:41:58,769
Stop kicking yourself in the fucking
1341
00:41:58,770 --> 00:41:59,409
head, will you, man?
1342
00:41:59,410 --> 00:42:01,169
Yeah, well, at least I've got some hair!
1343
00:42:01,170 --> 00:42:02,449
You're like an ugly boiled egg!
1344
00:42:02,450 --> 00:42:03,369
You're getting a little bit fucking
1345
00:42:03,370 --> 00:42:03,969
puzzled, lad.
1346
00:42:03,970 --> 00:42:05,249
Sort him out, man, cos that'll put him
1347
00:42:05,250 --> 00:42:06,609
into another fucking realm!
1348
00:42:06,610 --> 00:42:07,669
Do you know what I mean?
1349
00:42:07,670 --> 00:42:08,169
Like, fucking...
1350
00:42:08,170 --> 00:42:09,209
Just have a look at him!
1351
00:42:09,210 --> 00:42:10,410
He gets above himself.
1352
00:42:10,411 --> 00:42:11,389
What do you want, Ronnie?
1353
00:42:11,390 --> 00:42:13,390
It's a fucking heavy scenario going on.
1354
00:42:13,470 --> 00:42:15,669
People can't specify you, but they're
1355
00:42:15,670 --> 00:42:16,720
heavy, right?
1356
00:42:16,810 --> 00:42:18,670
They found out about the fucking body.
1357
00:42:19,150 --> 00:42:21,449
So I'm gonna need some serious
1358
00:42:21,450 --> 00:42:23,010
compensation, okay?
1359
00:42:23,170 --> 00:42:24,890
To keep a zipper-mouth situation.
1360
00:42:24,891 --> 00:42:27,649
Are you blackmailing me, Ronnie?
1361
00:42:27,650 --> 00:42:29,570
Am I blackmailing you?
1362
00:42:29,571 --> 00:42:30,709
Yeah!
1363
00:42:30,710 --> 00:42:31,749
Scum!
1364
00:42:31,750 --> 00:42:32,149
Scum!
1365
00:42:32,150 --> 00:42:33,029
Scum!
1366
00:42:33,030 --> 00:42:33,769
Motherfucker!
1367
00:42:33,770 --> 00:42:34,820
Yeah.
1368
00:42:34,821 --> 00:42:35,729
No.
1369
00:42:35,730 --> 00:42:37,650
Oh, Erin, I try my best, Erin.
1370
00:42:37,770 --> 00:42:38,820
Oh!
1371
00:42:40,390 --> 00:42:41,970
Avanti, who is that?
1372
00:42:41,971 --> 00:42:43,689
Give over, you fucking lemmings.
1373
00:42:43,690 --> 00:42:44,750
I can't see fuck-all.
1374
00:42:44,751 --> 00:42:45,409
Shut up.
1375
00:42:45,410 --> 00:42:47,910
Right, Erin, this is just a little bit shit-long.
1376
00:42:48,010 --> 00:42:50,729
Listen, honest to God, it's the last
1377
00:42:50,730 --> 00:42:51,349
time I'm asking.
1378
00:42:51,350 --> 00:42:52,669
Where's that fucking body?
1379
00:42:52,670 --> 00:42:53,329
And coffin.
1380
00:42:53,330 --> 00:42:54,949
And the fucking, for fuck's sake,
1381
00:42:54,950 --> 00:42:56,000
coffin as well.
1382
00:42:56,001 --> 00:42:57,709
Listen, Ronnie, honestly, dude, I'll
1383
00:42:57,710 --> 00:42:59,029
leave you down here, man, with the rats
1384
00:42:59,030 --> 00:42:59,429
and the shaggy...
1385
00:42:59,430 --> 00:43:01,469
Right, OK, well, you might, but Erin wouldn't.
1386
00:43:01,470 --> 00:43:02,729
And do you want to know why, Vin?
1387
00:43:02,730 --> 00:43:04,589
It's because family is very, very
1388
00:43:04,590 --> 00:43:05,589
thicker than water.
1389
00:43:05,590 --> 00:43:06,640
That's why.
1390
00:43:06,641 --> 00:43:07,769
Try me.
1391
00:43:07,770 --> 00:43:09,969
Run it, I know for a fact you're scared
1392
00:43:09,970 --> 00:43:10,749
of the dark.
1393
00:43:10,750 --> 00:43:11,449
Oh.
1394
00:43:11,450 --> 00:43:12,329
Right, OK.
1395
00:43:12,330 --> 00:43:15,650
Phil offered me too large, OK, AKA 200.
1396
00:43:15,850 --> 00:43:17,789
If yous go to, say, five...
1397
00:43:17,790 --> 00:43:19,889
How the fuck am I going to pay you 500
1398
00:43:19,890 --> 00:43:20,629
quid, you cunt?
1399
00:43:20,630 --> 00:43:21,629
What, you're not going to pay me?
1400
00:43:21,630 --> 00:43:23,309
Well, in that case, Whitney Houston,
1401
00:43:23,310 --> 00:43:24,450
we've got a problem.
1402
00:43:24,451 --> 00:43:27,469
You're not fucking Whitney Houston, are you?
1403
00:43:27,470 --> 00:43:28,789
Yeah, this means Houston, doesn't it?
1404
00:43:28,790 --> 00:43:29,589
It means Houston.
1405
00:43:29,590 --> 00:43:31,950
Guys, the jokes are fucking you here!
1406
00:43:31,951 --> 00:43:34,029
No, no, no, not the dark!
1407
00:43:34,030 --> 00:43:35,530
OK, I'll give you what you want.
1408
00:43:36,350 --> 00:43:38,010
Check it out.
1409
00:43:38,430 --> 00:43:39,480
Follow the light.
1410
00:43:51,720 --> 00:43:53,320
He's all there.
1411
00:43:53,321 --> 00:43:54,999
Ronnie Cross saved the day.
1412
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:55,939
Nice one.
1413
00:43:55,940 --> 00:43:56,990
Hold on.
1414
00:43:57,940 --> 00:43:58,990
Where are his eyes?
1415
00:43:59,660 --> 00:44:01,520
His fucking eyes are missing.
1416
00:44:01,521 --> 00:44:02,219
Who?
1417
00:44:02,220 --> 00:44:03,270
Nick's eyes?
1418
00:44:08,760 --> 00:44:12,260
I'll get you a final first date, my
1419
00:44:34,310 --> 00:44:36,750
He's ready for you now.
1420
00:44:55,910 --> 00:44:56,960
Gentlemen.
1421
00:44:57,190 --> 00:44:59,290
I think we've got a way with you.
1422
00:44:59,590 --> 00:45:00,640
Whoa!
1423
00:45:04,380 --> 00:45:07,340
Over the railway,
1424
00:45:35,230 --> 00:45:45,650
there's a lizer Thank you.
1425
00:45:46,450 --> 00:45:48,869
And before we move Barry on to his
1426
00:45:48,870 --> 00:45:51,989
final rest, his brother Davy would like
1427
00:45:51,990 --> 00:45:55,310
to A few words from the good book.
1428
00:46:02,020 --> 00:46:03,400
What if he starts coughing?
1429
00:46:04,140 --> 00:46:05,190
Do you get it?
1430
00:46:05,540 --> 00:46:07,140
Shut up, you fucking shut up.
1431
00:46:14,450 --> 00:46:17,509
The righteous perish, and no man lay
1432
00:46:17,510 --> 00:46:18,560
thicc to heart.
1433
00:46:20,090 --> 00:46:22,890
The merciful men are taken away,
1434
00:46:23,450 --> 00:46:27,149
Non-considering that the righteous are
1435
00:46:27,150 --> 00:46:39,439
taken away from the evil to come I want
1436
00:46:39,440 --> 00:46:50,919
an apology You remember me David If you
1437
00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:53,219
know what is good for you, you will
1438
00:46:53,220 --> 00:46:56,059
leave right now Bill Billions
1439
00:46:56,060 --> 00:46:59,660
children's entertainer Get rid of him!
1440
00:46:59,920 --> 00:47:02,079
Would anybody like to meet my new friend?
1441
00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:02,279
No, no, no, stay where the fuck you
1442
00:47:02,280 --> 00:47:02,619
are, stay.
1443
00:47:02,620 --> 00:47:02,939
No.
1444
00:47:02,940 --> 00:47:03,579
No, no, no.
1445
00:47:03,580 --> 00:47:05,539
His name...
1446
00:47:05,540 --> 00:47:06,760
is Barry.
1447
00:47:06,780 --> 00:47:08,879
You wanna shut the fuck up, you
1448
00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:10,180
disrespectful cunt.
1449
00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:12,580
Otherwise you'll end up in a coffin yourself.
1450
00:47:13,120 --> 00:47:15,440
Davy, well, he killed my last friend,
1451
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:17,879
Virgil, but I don't think he's gonna
1452
00:47:17,880 --> 00:47:18,960
hurt this one.
1453
00:47:19,260 --> 00:47:21,080
No, no, no.
1454
00:47:21,260 --> 00:47:22,940
I don't think he'll hurt this one,
1455
00:47:23,120 --> 00:47:27,260
especially as he's got such beautiful eyes.
1456
00:47:35,230 --> 00:47:36,770
You little piece of piss!
1457
00:47:36,990 --> 00:47:38,170
Run away, run away.
1458
00:47:38,330 --> 00:47:39,850
Run away, run away, run away.
1459
00:47:39,950 --> 00:47:41,350
She'll kill it all faster!
1460
00:47:42,710 --> 00:47:43,770
You...
1461
00:47:44,130 --> 00:47:46,030
Fucking bald pillow.
1462
00:47:46,081 --> 00:47:48,089
Hello, Vincent.
1463
00:47:48,090 --> 00:47:49,140
This is Fiona Frank.
1464
00:47:49,270 --> 00:47:50,790
You were referred to me by Dr.
1465
00:47:50,791 --> 00:47:52,889
Christopher Cox from psychotherapy.
1466
00:47:52,890 --> 00:47:54,369
No, no, no, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.
1467
00:47:54,370 --> 00:47:55,269
Yep, go on.
1468
00:47:55,270 --> 00:47:57,050
I'm sorry, is this a bad time?
1469
00:47:57,051 --> 00:47:59,469
No, it's a good time, it's a good time.
1470
00:47:59,470 --> 00:48:02,390
I need you more than ever, actually.
1471
00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:18,539
I Know this will come as a shock to
1472
00:48:18,540 --> 00:48:28,539
you, but I'm your son Don't wish for it
1473
00:48:28,540 --> 00:48:29,479
work for it.
1474
00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:33,919
He wants you in his life tomorrow Hello
1475
00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:37,519
boys Charmed do not flirt with my
1476
00:48:37,520 --> 00:48:39,879
fucking progeny bend down and pick it
1477
00:48:39,880 --> 00:48:44,460
up
1478
00:48:44,510 --> 00:48:49,060
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