subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for Labor.Pains.2009.

Afrikaans

Akan

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bemba

Bengali

Bihari

Bosnian

Breton

Bulgarian

Cambodian

Catalan

Cebuano

Cherokee

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional) Download

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch Download

English Download

Esperanto

Estonian

Ewe

Faroese

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Guarani

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Interlingua

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Kinyarwanda

Kirundi

Kongo

Korean

Krio (Sierra Leone)

Kurdish

Kurdish (Soranî)

Kyrgyz

Laothian

Latin

Latvian

Lingala

Lithuanian

Lozi

Luganda

Luo

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mauritian Creole

Moldavian

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Montenegrin

Nepali

Nigerian Pidgin

Northern Sotho

Norwegian

Norwegian (Nynorsk)

Occitan

Oriya

Oromo

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese (Brazil)

Portuguese (Portugal)

Punjabi

Quechua

Romanian Download

Romansh

Runyakitara

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Serbo-Croatian

Sesotho

Setswana

Seychellois Creole

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhalese

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Spanish (Latin American)

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Tatar

Telugu

Thai Download

Tigrinya

Tonga

Tshiluba

Tumbuka

Turkish

Turkmen

Twi

Uighur

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Wolof

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:26,948 The I-10 Santa Monica Freeway westbound 2 00:00:26,948 --> 00:00:28,759 is jammed due to a three-car accident... 3 00:00:28,759 --> 00:00:30,839 blocking lanes one and two just past Hoover Street. 4 00:00:31,182 --> 00:00:35,128 In Van Nuys there's stop and go traffic on the 405 southbound... 5 00:00:35,346 --> 00:00:37,333 Hey, loser! Get up. You're late. 6 00:00:39,713 --> 00:00:41,010 We need money. 7 00:00:41,081 --> 00:00:42,275 For what? 8 00:00:42,349 --> 00:00:44,010 Food. 9 00:00:51,861 --> 00:00:54,455 I've only got two dollars. How much is a Happy Meal? 10 00:00:54,530 --> 00:00:55,690 Oopf. 11 00:00:58,601 --> 00:01:00,159 Good morning, Thea. 12 00:01:00,236 --> 00:01:01,567 Oh, hi. 13 00:01:01,637 --> 00:01:03,760 There's this thing called rent. 14 00:01:03,835 --> 00:01:05,826 Monday. You have my word. 15 00:01:05,904 --> 00:01:08,032 Could you put your word on an actual check? 16 00:02:13,970 --> 00:02:17,168 Whoo! Look at that foxy momma! 17 00:02:17,241 --> 00:02:18,602 Hey. 18 00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:22,301 Hey, look. I, uh, I saved you one of these. 19 00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:24,503 It wasn't easy. These people are animals. 20 00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:26,773 Thanks. It's all downhill after the donut. 21 00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:28,974 Hey. Let's go camping right now. 22 00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:30,949 Oh, don't tempt me. You know I can't. 23 00:02:31,018 --> 00:02:35,012 Come on. Don't be such a buzz kill. Just call in sick from work. 24 00:02:35,089 --> 00:02:37,819 Oh, Miles. It was hard enough getting Monday off. 25 00:02:37,892 --> 00:02:40,588 Hey. You really need to bail on this lame job, babe. 26 00:02:40,662 --> 00:02:44,186 Bailing isn't exactly in my vocabulary right now. I'm late. I'm late. 27 00:02:51,837 --> 00:02:53,464 Alarm clock on the fritz again? 28 00:02:55,241 --> 00:02:56,765 Thea. 29 00:02:56,842 --> 00:02:58,332 Thea! 30 00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:04,513 Four minutes after nine, Thea. 31 00:03:04,583 --> 00:03:06,449 We agreed to 8:59. 32 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:09,080 I know. I'm sorry. I've got your coffee piping hot. 33 00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:11,586 Greg already got it for me. 34 00:03:11,654 --> 00:03:13,451 All right. Let's get started. 35 00:03:13,523 --> 00:03:16,287 I found two errors in your transcription. 36 00:03:16,359 --> 00:03:20,126 Ur-Nammu, the Mesopotamian ruler, has a hyphen in his name. 37 00:03:20,197 --> 00:03:23,133 Are you sure? I checked it in Oxford English Dictionary. 38 00:03:23,201 --> 00:03:26,568 You should always cross reference with the Military Encyclopedia. 39 00:03:26,638 --> 00:03:28,128 It is the definitive source. 40 00:03:28,206 --> 00:03:29,696 Absolutely right, Greg. 41 00:03:29,774 --> 00:03:32,572 The intern shouldn't be more thorough than you. 42 00:03:32,644 --> 00:03:36,736 You have to remember that every mistake you make, impacts history. 43 00:03:36,811 --> 00:03:38,746 I'm sorry I didn't give enough thought 44 00:03:38,814 --> 00:03:41,282 to the long reaching impact of a missing hyphen. 45 00:03:41,350 --> 00:03:43,614 Think of it next time, or someone else will. 46 00:03:43,685 --> 00:03:47,143 There are a million people out there who'd kill for your job. 47 00:03:47,222 --> 00:03:50,749 The secretary to the publisher, it's a dream for so many of us. 48 00:03:50,826 --> 00:03:53,294 I have a big project for you. 49 00:03:53,362 --> 00:03:57,060 Now, you can make up for this morning's mistakes by acing this one. 50 00:03:57,133 --> 00:03:58,897 Okay. What can I do for you? 51 00:03:58,969 --> 00:04:02,526 MacArthur rolled in some poop. 52 00:04:02,602 --> 00:04:03,899 Again? 53 00:04:03,970 --> 00:04:05,562 She's got one good eye, Thea. 54 00:04:05,638 --> 00:04:08,937 I don't appreciate you taking that tone. Now. 55 00:04:11,311 --> 00:04:13,041 Hi, there. 56 00:04:13,114 --> 00:04:17,073 Let's really try and nail it this time, shall we? 57 00:04:25,489 --> 00:04:27,252 No way. She rolled in poop again? 58 00:04:27,324 --> 00:04:28,552 Uh-hm. 59 00:04:28,625 --> 00:04:30,287 How come Greg never washes her? 60 00:04:30,361 --> 00:04:32,886 I'm glad that I don't have to wash the poop off Greg 61 00:04:32,964 --> 00:04:35,990 since he spends most of his time with his head up Jerry's ass. 62 00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:39,037 Tell me about it. Last week he CC'd me on an email to Jerry 63 00:04:39,104 --> 00:04:41,971 complaining that I ordered too many rainbow Post-Its. 64 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:43,837 Said it creates a party atmosphere. 65 00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:46,002 Come here, MacArthur. 66 00:04:46,078 --> 00:04:48,741 MacArthur. 67 00:04:48,815 --> 00:04:51,143 Do you think we'll ever get out of here? 68 00:04:51,213 --> 00:04:54,478 How long 'til your little sister graduates college? 69 00:04:54,550 --> 00:04:56,541 Five years. Five long years. 70 00:04:56,619 --> 00:04:58,644 Wow. 71 00:04:58,721 --> 00:05:01,519 When you finally ditch this place I'm gonna leave, too. 72 00:05:01,590 --> 00:05:03,752 I can't survive this hellhole without you. 73 00:05:03,827 --> 00:05:06,853 I don't even know if I'm gonna survive Monday without you. 74 00:05:06,930 --> 00:05:09,228 Oh, well, your rainbow Post-Its should help. 75 00:05:09,299 --> 00:05:11,927 Ha, ha, ha. Just promise me 76 00:05:12,002 --> 00:05:16,367 that when you're celebrating with Miles the big 25, you'll have two extra shots for me. 77 00:05:16,436 --> 00:05:19,031 Done. Two for you, two for me 78 00:05:19,106 --> 00:05:20,597 and two for MacArthur. 79 00:05:20,675 --> 00:05:22,836 And cold beer chasers and a sliced lime. 80 00:05:22,911 --> 00:05:24,378 Gets me right here. 81 00:05:28,550 --> 00:05:30,040 What is MacArthur eating? 82 00:05:30,118 --> 00:05:32,916 Oh, that's not good. Hold on. 83 00:05:32,987 --> 00:05:34,147 No, no, that's soap! 84 00:05:39,028 --> 00:05:41,288 Well, Thea, you are a sopping mess. 85 00:05:41,359 --> 00:05:42,690 I know, I'm sorry. 86 00:05:42,761 --> 00:05:43,955 Well, don't apologize. 87 00:05:44,029 --> 00:05:45,690 This one has two staples. 88 00:05:45,764 --> 00:05:46,788 Yeah. And? 89 00:05:46,865 --> 00:05:48,196 It's bad feng shui. 90 00:05:48,266 --> 00:05:49,756 It'd be nice to give the agenda 91 00:05:49,835 --> 00:05:51,894 to the guy the disability first. 92 00:05:51,970 --> 00:05:53,905 When I gave you yours first last month, 93 00:05:53,973 --> 00:05:56,704 you reprimanded me for giving you special treatment. 94 00:05:56,777 --> 00:05:59,075 I don't like your giving me special back talk. 95 00:05:59,146 --> 00:06:01,774 Good morning, everyone. Ready for Abbott? 96 00:06:02,983 --> 00:06:04,348 Sorry. 97 00:06:04,418 --> 00:06:06,215 Let's have another round! 98 00:06:06,286 --> 00:06:09,547 Hey, Johnny, my good man. How's the book coming? 99 00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:10,678 Jerry! 100 00:06:10,754 --> 00:06:12,915 War. What is it good for? 101 00:06:12,990 --> 00:06:16,892 Apparently lots of things, Jerry. 102 00:06:18,662 --> 00:06:21,529 If you could just tell us what chapter you're up to. 103 00:06:21,599 --> 00:06:22,725 Sweet. 104 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:24,199 Pigs in the blanket 105 00:06:24,268 --> 00:06:26,361 for everybody on me. 106 00:06:26,437 --> 00:06:28,838 Alright, bye-bye. 107 00:06:28,907 --> 00:06:31,000 Hemingway used to write in bars. 108 00:06:31,076 --> 00:06:34,873 Ah. We're so pleased you decided to bless us with your presence, Nicky 109 00:06:34,943 --> 00:06:37,935 Sorry, uh, bad, bad traffic. 110 00:06:38,013 --> 00:06:40,914 Hm. Got hung up at the divorce lawyer's office? 111 00:06:40,983 --> 00:06:43,918 I kind of wanted that to be private, Jerry. 112 00:06:43,986 --> 00:06:46,512 Well, well, privacy is for people who are on time. 113 00:06:46,589 --> 00:06:48,580 So how's Abbott's book coming? 114 00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:53,391 Extremely well. There's a method to his mad genius. 115 00:06:53,463 --> 00:06:56,899 And now we're ready to go over the cost report. 116 00:06:56,966 --> 00:06:58,953 Whenever you feel like presenting it. 117 00:06:59,031 --> 00:07:00,999 Oh, okay. 118 00:07:01,066 --> 00:07:05,197 Sales for The Complete History of Bullets are below projections. 119 00:07:05,272 --> 00:07:08,639 Uh, marketing says people have been intimidated 120 00:07:08,708 --> 00:07:10,539 by the 1400 page length. 121 00:07:10,610 --> 00:07:14,240 There are a lot of bullets in the world. We're not making it up. 122 00:07:14,315 --> 00:07:17,307 Let's talk about the next order of order of business. 123 00:07:17,385 --> 00:07:20,787 I've given this a lot of thought. 124 00:07:20,856 --> 00:07:24,413 Next week's softball game. 125 00:07:24,489 --> 00:07:28,289 Now, we're all tired of losing to Presidio. 126 00:07:28,359 --> 00:07:30,589 So I'm moving Garth to short stop. 127 00:07:30,662 --> 00:07:32,459 I'm not quite finished. 128 00:07:32,530 --> 00:07:36,160 I've told you. You're staying in left field. We need you there. 129 00:07:36,235 --> 00:07:37,827 This isn't softball related. 130 00:07:37,903 --> 00:07:40,303 You know our textbook writer, Suzie Cavendish? 131 00:07:40,372 --> 00:07:41,396 Of course I know her. 132 00:07:41,473 --> 00:07:42,735 I read her new manuscript 133 00:07:42,808 --> 00:07:44,605 and I thought it was really good. 134 00:07:44,677 --> 00:07:47,077 How did you get a manuscript? 135 00:07:47,146 --> 00:07:49,610 I ran into her at lunch. She told me about her book. 136 00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:52,113 You don't send the accountant your manuscript. 137 00:07:52,181 --> 00:07:55,583 Thanks, but I've already told Suzie it's not for us. 138 00:07:55,652 --> 00:07:57,449 It's not our subject matter. 139 00:07:57,521 --> 00:07:59,853 Baby, what's wrong? 140 00:07:59,923 --> 00:08:03,222 MacArthur? 141 00:08:03,293 --> 00:08:06,820 What's wrong with you? Come here, baby. 142 00:08:06,897 --> 00:08:09,492 What is wrong? Talk to daddy. 143 00:08:13,067 --> 00:08:14,261 Ew! 144 00:08:14,335 --> 00:08:16,633 What did you feed her? 145 00:08:17,204 --> 00:08:18,933 I'm so so sorry about your dog. 146 00:08:19,006 --> 00:08:22,373 I just scheduled a full body scan for MacArthur on Monday. 147 00:08:22,443 --> 00:08:24,968 I have the day off Monday but I'll take her Tuesday. 148 00:08:25,045 --> 00:08:26,513 You'll take her Monday. 149 00:08:26,581 --> 00:08:28,572 I asked for this time off two months ago. 150 00:08:28,650 --> 00:08:30,743 It's just one day. I promised my boyfriend 151 00:08:30,819 --> 00:08:32,754 we'd go camping for his 25th birthday. 152 00:08:32,822 --> 00:08:34,380 It's his 25th birthday? 153 00:08:34,457 --> 00:08:35,651 Yeah, it is. 154 00:08:35,725 --> 00:08:37,920 God, I had no idea. 155 00:08:37,994 --> 00:08:40,515 I'm sorry. Why don't you take the whole week off? 156 00:08:40,592 --> 00:08:41,616 Really? 157 00:08:41,693 --> 00:08:43,059 No! 158 00:08:43,129 --> 00:08:46,030 Okay, no problem. 159 00:08:46,099 --> 00:08:48,158 Come on, things can't be that bad. 160 00:08:48,234 --> 00:08:51,169 Okay. Let's see what I have to look forward to in life. 161 00:08:51,237 --> 00:08:52,966 Washing my boss's dog. 162 00:08:53,039 --> 00:08:54,870 Blow-drying my boss's job. 163 00:08:54,941 --> 00:08:56,101 Uh-mm. 164 00:08:56,175 --> 00:08:57,938 Taking my boss's dog for a CAT scan. 165 00:08:58,011 --> 00:08:59,877 I'm officially a pathetic loser. 166 00:08:59,947 --> 00:09:02,780 Well, at least we still have Skittles and cigarettes. 167 00:09:05,415 --> 00:09:08,248 Maybe you and Miles can reschedule the weekend. 168 00:09:08,318 --> 00:09:11,811 Oh, yeah. I'll see if Miles can reschedule his birthday. 169 00:09:11,889 --> 00:09:13,686 No, maybe Jerry's onto something. 170 00:09:13,758 --> 00:09:16,956 Who needs a significant other when you're dating your own dog? 171 00:09:17,029 --> 00:09:20,226 Jerry's repulsive. Have you smelled his breath lately? 172 00:09:20,298 --> 00:09:22,425 He's lucky he can get a dog to date him. 173 00:09:22,501 --> 00:09:26,437 You know, it's one thing if Jerry is an undersexed jerk who takes no joy in life 174 00:09:26,505 --> 00:09:29,937 But why does he have to make the rest of us that way? I hate him! 175 00:09:32,306 --> 00:09:35,003 In my office. Now! 176 00:09:36,912 --> 00:09:40,541 You've got some pretty strong opinions about my personal choices. 177 00:09:40,616 --> 00:09:42,743 You find my relationship with MacArthur 178 00:09:42,818 --> 00:09:44,217 something to deride? 179 00:09:44,286 --> 00:09:46,652 Not at all. I respect your devotion to animals. 180 00:09:46,722 --> 00:09:48,952 You're involvement with PETA is inspiring. 181 00:09:49,024 --> 00:09:50,152 Don't bullshit me. 182 00:09:50,227 --> 00:09:51,626 I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. 183 00:09:51,696 --> 00:09:53,857 It was childish and it won't happen again. 184 00:09:53,931 --> 00:09:55,724 If you hate me so much, 185 00:09:55,796 --> 00:09:59,288 I don't really think it's healthy for you to continue working with me. 186 00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:01,357 But, please. You can't do this. 187 00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:02,459 Watch me. 188 00:10:02,536 --> 00:10:03,560 But I need this job. 189 00:10:03,637 --> 00:10:04,661 Here I go. 190 00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:05,762 I support my sister. 191 00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:06,863 You're fired. 192 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:07,965 But I'm... 193 00:10:08,042 --> 00:10:09,907 You're what? You're? 194 00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:11,035 I'm pregnant. 195 00:10:11,112 --> 00:10:12,204 Pregnant? 196 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:14,646 Yes, pregnant. Totally pregnant. 197 00:10:14,716 --> 00:10:18,049 The doctor says the chemicals or hormones or whatever... 198 00:10:18,119 --> 00:10:22,211 are messing up my system and you can't take anything I say too seriously. 199 00:10:22,286 --> 00:10:25,017 Except for when I say I'm pregnant because, I am. 200 00:10:33,165 --> 00:10:34,291 Oh, God. 201 00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:45,498 When are you due? 202 00:10:45,575 --> 00:10:47,440 Octember. I mean, October. 203 00:10:47,510 --> 00:10:48,841 October what? 204 00:10:48,911 --> 00:10:50,879 Uh, probably the 6th. Could be the 7th, 205 00:10:50,947 --> 00:10:53,541 could be the 8th. But fingers are crossed for the 6th 206 00:10:53,616 --> 00:10:55,709 by then I'll just want this thing out of me. 207 00:10:55,785 --> 00:10:57,720 You're almost four months pregnant? 208 00:10:57,788 --> 00:10:59,619 Yeah. Isn't that crazy? 209 00:10:59,690 --> 00:11:03,820 Feels like yesterday I wasn't. But I was because I'm four months 210 00:11:03,894 --> 00:11:06,454 The legal department is backing your story 211 00:11:06,530 --> 00:11:09,261 about not being able to fire a pregnant woman 212 00:11:09,334 --> 00:11:13,130 no matter how much she might deserve it. 213 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:15,692 So get back to work. 214 00:11:15,771 --> 00:11:17,363 Thank you so much, Jerry. 215 00:11:17,439 --> 00:11:21,000 I really appreciate it. Thank you. From both of us. 216 00:11:25,647 --> 00:11:30,084 Congratulations on the baby. The entire legal department is thrilled. 217 00:11:30,152 --> 00:11:33,554 Hey, why didn't you tell me earlier? Oh, I know. 218 00:11:33,623 --> 00:11:36,713 Probably because there's so much that can go horribly wrong. 219 00:11:36,789 --> 00:11:40,020 I mean, I'm out of the woods. But I do everything right. 220 00:11:40,092 --> 00:11:43,357 Anyway, so I'm having my baby first, not that it's a competition. 221 00:11:43,428 --> 00:11:45,191 But I win! 222 00:11:45,264 --> 00:11:48,132 Anyway, no, really, congratulations. 223 00:11:48,201 --> 00:11:51,171 Oh, Thea! Oh, I'm so excited for you. 224 00:11:51,238 --> 00:11:53,729 No wonder you've been spacey lately. 225 00:11:53,808 --> 00:11:55,070 What's going on? 226 00:11:55,142 --> 00:11:57,042 Everybody, Thea's pregnant! 227 00:11:57,111 --> 00:11:59,011 Don't look at me. I never touched her. 228 00:11:59,079 --> 00:12:01,873 Never would have guessed. You still look sexy. 229 00:12:01,945 --> 00:12:04,709 I had to tell everyone. Couldn't keep it a secret. 230 00:12:04,781 --> 00:12:08,013 Of course. How can you hide that kind of thing? 231 00:12:08,085 --> 00:12:11,851 I should've known. My left knee's been hurting. When my knee hurts, 232 00:12:11,923 --> 00:12:13,891 it usually means someone's pregnant. 233 00:12:13,958 --> 00:12:17,860 Yeah, or they're stuck underwater in a car. Anyway, I'm glad it's this. 234 00:12:17,929 --> 00:12:20,489 So who's the very lucky fella? 235 00:12:20,565 --> 00:12:23,000 You didn't tell 'em the rest of the news? 236 00:12:23,068 --> 00:12:24,831 Thea and Miles are engaged! 237 00:12:24,903 --> 00:12:27,596 Oh! 238 00:12:27,670 --> 00:12:30,230 That's so great! 239 00:12:30,306 --> 00:12:34,800 I mean, I got married before I got pregnant, but better late than never. 240 00:12:34,877 --> 00:12:36,367 Whoo-hoo! Yay for you! 241 00:12:36,445 --> 00:12:38,606 Yeah, I'm, I'm really excited, everyone. 242 00:12:38,681 --> 00:12:42,049 Yeah, thrilled. Over the moon. Way over it! 243 00:12:44,988 --> 00:12:46,182 Psst. 244 00:12:51,858 --> 00:12:54,019 Pregnant? It's brilliant. 245 00:12:54,093 --> 00:12:55,720 Where did you come up with that? 246 00:12:55,795 --> 00:12:58,492 I saw it on an episode of Law and Order. 247 00:12:58,565 --> 00:13:00,556 Yeah. You can't fire a pregnant woman. 248 00:13:00,634 --> 00:13:03,228 Discrimination, lawsuits, bad mojo, whatever. 249 00:13:03,303 --> 00:13:05,704 Smart. 250 00:13:05,773 --> 00:13:07,400 By the way, thanks for your help. 251 00:13:07,475 --> 00:13:10,000 Pregnant wasn't bad enough. I had to get engaged. 252 00:13:10,078 --> 00:13:13,674 Well, I didn't want people to think you were some kind of wayward skank. 253 00:13:13,749 --> 00:13:15,808 Is that what you think of single mothers? 254 00:13:15,885 --> 00:13:19,442 No, of course not. I just happen to know that a lot of people in the office 255 00:13:19,517 --> 00:13:22,975 think you're a wayward skank and I thought this could turn it around. 256 00:13:23,054 --> 00:13:26,751 Thanks. Crap, Lisa. What am I gonna do? How will I get out of this? 257 00:13:26,825 --> 00:13:30,227 Can't we just say that you know, something happened to, 258 00:13:30,296 --> 00:13:34,130 I don't know, one of your tubes. Sprung a leak. 259 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:36,168 Do you know what you're talking about? 260 00:13:36,235 --> 00:13:38,499 Let's just go along with it for a little while 261 00:13:38,571 --> 00:13:40,505 and then we'll say it was a false alarm. 262 00:13:40,573 --> 00:13:44,062 You thought you were pregnant, but it turns out you just had crabs. 263 00:13:44,140 --> 00:13:45,300 Ew. 264 00:13:52,483 --> 00:13:55,281 I'm so sorry, Em. I had a crazy day at work 265 00:13:55,352 --> 00:13:58,150 and I lost track of time. Am I too late? 266 00:13:58,222 --> 00:14:02,090 The meeting was at four and it's five o'clock now. You do the math. 267 00:14:02,159 --> 00:14:04,060 I'm really sorry. 268 00:14:06,131 --> 00:14:07,393 Have you been drinking? 269 00:14:07,465 --> 00:14:09,326 I had a cocktail. 270 00:14:11,098 --> 00:14:14,295 Come on. You're 17. You should be out drinking and smoking 271 00:14:20,074 --> 00:14:23,375 I'll reschedule with your guidance counselor next week. 272 00:14:23,446 --> 00:14:27,041 Don't bother. I already met with Miss Talbot and we discussed my options 273 00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:29,243 What options? 274 00:14:29,319 --> 00:14:32,720 She suggested I start taking some cooking classes after school. 275 00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:35,379 You have tennis after school. 276 00:14:35,454 --> 00:14:37,753 Yeah, but I'm sick of tennis. 277 00:14:37,824 --> 00:14:42,261 I was thinking maybe I could go to the Culinary Institute in San Francisco. 278 00:14:42,329 --> 00:14:44,923 No way. You're staying right here and going to UCLA. 279 00:14:44,998 --> 00:14:48,991 Tennis will cover the tuition and I'm busting my ass off to cover the rest. 280 00:14:49,069 --> 00:14:53,062 I know. You keep telling me when Mom and Dad died, we lost out on options. 281 00:14:53,139 --> 00:14:57,236 Just do me a favor, be a grown-up and accept the hand that you've been dealt. 282 00:14:57,311 --> 00:14:58,774 So that's what you do? 283 00:14:58,842 --> 00:15:00,673 Yeah, that's what I do. 284 00:15:00,744 --> 00:15:05,079 Really? 'Cause you were at a bar instead of my parent teacher conference. 285 00:15:13,659 --> 00:15:15,957 Oh, hello, Mr. Abbott. 286 00:15:16,028 --> 00:15:18,724 Jerry? Jerry, where are you? 287 00:15:18,797 --> 00:15:20,196 Mr. Abbott, can I help you? 288 00:15:20,265 --> 00:15:22,665 Is there anything to drink in this place 289 00:15:22,735 --> 00:15:25,131 or do I have to go to my car and get my divining rod? 290 00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:26,929 I could get you some water. 291 00:15:27,002 --> 00:15:30,370 Go ahead, soldier. Three parts scotch, one part water. 292 00:15:30,439 --> 00:15:32,373 Okay. Move, move, move. Hey, soldier. 293 00:15:32,441 --> 00:15:33,999 What brings you to the office? 294 00:15:34,076 --> 00:15:37,170 How are you? Well, your brother wants my book. 295 00:15:37,246 --> 00:15:40,273 Jerry's at lunch. But Thea can take your manuscript for you 296 00:15:40,350 --> 00:15:41,874 Who's Thea? 297 00:15:41,952 --> 00:15:44,386 Jerry's secretary. You talk to her every day. 298 00:15:44,454 --> 00:15:48,551 Congratulations are probably in order. Thea has good news. She's having a baby 299 00:15:48,626 --> 00:15:49,884 Hm. 300 00:15:49,957 --> 00:15:52,391 She looks like she's strong stock. 301 00:15:52,459 --> 00:15:57,362 Maybe she can give us a strong future Marine. 302 00:15:57,431 --> 00:15:59,194 Thea, do you have a minute? 303 00:15:59,266 --> 00:16:00,756 So, uh, how are you? 304 00:16:00,834 --> 00:16:02,826 Fine, thanks. You? 305 00:16:02,904 --> 00:16:07,898 Oh, I'm fine. But I'm not the one with a magical bundle of joy growing inside of me. 306 00:16:07,976 --> 00:16:10,968 So, no morning sickness? No bloating? 307 00:16:11,046 --> 00:16:13,844 No. Nuh-unh. Guess I'm just really lucky. 308 00:16:13,915 --> 00:16:15,606 A little too lucky, if you ask me. 309 00:16:15,679 --> 00:16:16,771 Yeah. 310 00:16:16,847 --> 00:16:19,249 And uh, where is your ring? 311 00:16:19,318 --> 00:16:21,650 Well, we... 312 00:16:21,721 --> 00:16:24,281 Her fianceé is saving up for her ring. 313 00:16:24,357 --> 00:16:26,951 It's not very nice to try to embarrass people. 314 00:16:27,026 --> 00:16:30,689 So why don't you get back to lying about yourself on your dating websites? 315 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:37,637 Don't worry about him. He doesn't know anything. He's an idiot. 316 00:16:37,704 --> 00:16:39,634 And I'm sure Greg is still a virgin. 317 00:16:41,938 --> 00:16:43,371 Come on, Jerry. 318 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:44,930 Oh! Alright, Jerry. 319 00:16:45,008 --> 00:16:46,236 Oh! Watch it! 320 00:16:46,309 --> 00:16:47,435 Dumbass. 321 00:16:47,510 --> 00:16:49,637 Come on, Nick. 322 00:16:49,712 --> 00:16:51,543 Come on Nick, you can do it. 323 00:17:00,325 --> 00:17:01,417 Hit it! 324 00:17:01,493 --> 00:17:02,687 Ow! 325 00:17:02,761 --> 00:17:04,752 Ball. Take your base. 326 00:17:04,826 --> 00:17:06,123 Take your base! 327 00:17:06,194 --> 00:17:08,389 Come on, Thea. 328 00:17:08,463 --> 00:17:09,522 Come on, Thea! 329 00:17:09,598 --> 00:17:10,895 Let's go, Thea! 330 00:17:12,101 --> 00:17:13,625 Go, go. Home run. 331 00:17:13,702 --> 00:17:15,033 Come on, come on. 332 00:17:15,104 --> 00:17:17,163 Go, go. Get home, get home. 333 00:17:19,141 --> 00:17:20,802 Come on, come on. 334 00:17:22,611 --> 00:17:23,942 Safe! 335 00:17:26,616 --> 00:17:27,674 Are you okay? 336 00:17:27,750 --> 00:17:28,910 Yeah. I'm great. 337 00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:33,412 Come on, Colonel. You can do it. 338 00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:34,612 You got it! 339 00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:35,676 Great. 340 00:17:35,754 --> 00:17:36,812 Thea. 341 00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:39,757 Kristen. Come here, please now. 342 00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:43,888 You shouldn't be playing in your condition. 343 00:17:43,965 --> 00:17:45,091 What condition? 344 00:17:45,166 --> 00:17:46,758 Your baby. 345 00:17:46,834 --> 00:17:48,802 Lisa, get your ass out on base? 346 00:17:48,870 --> 00:17:50,064 Of course. 347 00:17:50,138 --> 00:17:52,231 We are taking you out. For the season. 348 00:17:53,508 --> 00:17:55,904 All season. 349 00:17:57,841 --> 00:18:00,310 Come on! 350 00:18:00,378 --> 00:18:01,811 Hey, thanks for the RBI. 351 00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:03,939 Yeah, well, no more RBIs. 352 00:18:04,015 --> 00:18:07,644 Jerry says I'm a liability, so I can't play 'cause I'm pregnant. 353 00:18:07,719 --> 00:18:10,711 Sounds like the most reasonable opinion he's had in years. 354 00:18:11,756 --> 00:18:13,553 Oh! 355 00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:22,254 Yes! 356 00:18:33,944 --> 00:18:35,411 MacArthur? 357 00:18:35,479 --> 00:18:36,912 Good heavens. 358 00:18:36,980 --> 00:18:40,108 Oh, it's okay. I'm coming for you, baby. 359 00:18:49,522 --> 00:18:51,388 I need a copy of Abbott's manuscript. 360 00:18:51,458 --> 00:18:54,393 I'm gonna read it in the car on the way to his funeral. 361 00:18:54,461 --> 00:18:57,329 What? You've never seen a manuscript on napkins before? 362 00:18:57,399 --> 00:19:00,197 When genius strikes, you write it down. Do it now. 363 00:19:00,268 --> 00:19:01,496 Okay. 364 00:19:05,707 --> 00:19:09,735 Oh. Thea, um, should you still be using the copier? 365 00:19:09,812 --> 00:19:12,606 Copy machines emit electro magnetic waves. 366 00:19:12,678 --> 00:19:14,373 And what does that do? 367 00:19:14,446 --> 00:19:17,745 Well, no one knows yet. But I've been reading on the message boards 368 00:19:17,816 --> 00:19:21,912 and it seems like something you should avoid if you're trying to have a well pregnancy. 369 00:19:21,987 --> 00:19:23,511 I think I should be okay. 370 00:19:23,589 --> 00:19:27,185 Oh, good. Well, if it doesn't bother you, 371 00:19:27,260 --> 00:19:29,455 then can you make 50 copies of that for me? 372 00:19:29,529 --> 00:19:31,190 Thank you. 373 00:19:33,633 --> 00:19:35,329 You know, I, I find it fascinating 374 00:19:35,402 --> 00:19:37,923 that Kristen is only a month further along than you 375 00:19:38,001 --> 00:19:41,733 and yet she's the size of a school bus and you're still the size of Kate Moss. 376 00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:44,297 Different strokes, I guess. 377 00:19:44,375 --> 00:19:48,471 Perhaps it's easier to feel the bump than to see it. 378 00:19:48,546 --> 00:19:52,004 What's the big deal? Everyone likes to touch a pregnant stomach. 379 00:19:52,083 --> 00:19:54,278 Because you're a gross weirdo, Greg. 380 00:19:56,087 --> 00:19:59,057 And the baby doesn't like gross weirdos, Greg. 381 00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:01,792 Hmpf. 382 00:20:01,860 --> 00:20:03,983 You and me are going shopping after work. 383 00:20:16,206 --> 00:20:18,106 What on earth are you doing? 384 00:20:18,174 --> 00:20:19,539 I'm stealing you a belly. 385 00:20:19,609 --> 00:20:20,667 What? 386 00:20:20,744 --> 00:20:22,211 You're four months pregnant 387 00:20:22,279 --> 00:20:24,679 and you've got the abs of a Jenku swimsuit model. 388 00:20:24,748 --> 00:20:26,272 Sh. Cover me. Okay? 389 00:20:26,349 --> 00:20:29,041 Look. If you want people to think you're pregnant, 390 00:20:29,115 --> 00:20:33,246 you've gotta start talking the talk and walking the... waddle 391 00:20:35,722 --> 00:20:37,212 I don't know if I can do this. 392 00:20:37,291 --> 00:20:39,418 You can do this. Just do it for a week. 393 00:20:39,493 --> 00:20:43,190 But you've gotta look the part or people are gonna get suspicious. 394 00:20:43,263 --> 00:20:45,697 I look ridiculous. 395 00:20:45,766 --> 00:20:48,030 These jeans are elastic on the top. 396 00:20:48,101 --> 00:20:50,400 I feel like I'm wearing a condom on my stomach. 397 00:20:50,471 --> 00:20:54,336 You don't look like you've been anywhere near a condom. 398 00:20:54,406 --> 00:20:59,105 Gross. Did you know that when women are in labor they sometimes poop? 399 00:20:59,177 --> 00:21:00,667 Ew. 400 00:21:00,745 --> 00:21:04,511 Have you ever heard of an episiotomy? Or cankles? Hmm? 401 00:21:04,582 --> 00:21:05,811 Agh. 402 00:21:05,885 --> 00:21:08,877 Well, we should get this as a reference. 403 00:21:08,954 --> 00:21:11,923 I thought this whole thing was gonna blow over in a few days. 404 00:21:11,991 --> 00:21:15,620 Yeah, but until then you should know the ins and outs of being preggers. 405 00:21:15,695 --> 00:21:18,717 There's a whole world of stuff here you know nothing about. 406 00:21:18,794 --> 00:21:21,558 Yeah. And I'd kind of like to keep it that way. 407 00:21:21,630 --> 00:21:24,031 Ew. Look at those nipples. 408 00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:25,567 Wait a second, wait a second. 409 00:21:25,635 --> 00:21:26,659 What? 410 00:21:26,736 --> 00:21:28,067 Here. Here. 411 00:21:28,137 --> 00:21:30,230 No. Can I keep the stomach at your house? 412 00:21:30,306 --> 00:21:32,571 No. That's like keeping your arm at my house. 413 00:21:32,643 --> 00:21:35,806 No, no. I don't want Emma to find out and she hates when I lie. 414 00:21:35,879 --> 00:21:36,903 You lie all the time. 415 00:21:36,980 --> 00:21:38,174 No, really. 416 00:21:38,248 --> 00:21:40,615 It stays with you. It's your stomach. 417 00:21:52,426 --> 00:21:53,984 Hey! Can I get a little privacy? 418 00:21:54,061 --> 00:21:56,690 Whoa, what are you doing in there? Can I just come in? 419 00:21:56,765 --> 00:21:58,357 I'm trying to talk to you. 420 00:21:58,433 --> 00:22:01,402 It doesn't matter what I'm doing right now, I am busy. Shoo. 421 00:22:04,439 --> 00:22:06,737 Morning, Thea, you got my check? 422 00:22:06,808 --> 00:22:10,434 Wow. Look at you. 423 00:22:10,509 --> 00:22:13,502 Yeah, look at me. Oh, it's not what, um... 424 00:22:13,580 --> 00:22:16,515 Oh, geez, I mean. You've obviously got a lot on your plate. 425 00:22:16,583 --> 00:22:19,814 I'm sorry about the other day. Don't worry about the rent check. 426 00:22:19,886 --> 00:22:21,854 Take another week or two. 427 00:22:21,921 --> 00:22:23,548 You just take care of yourself. 428 00:22:23,623 --> 00:22:25,955 Oh, my God. 429 00:22:26,025 --> 00:22:29,119 Oh, how exciting. 430 00:22:29,195 --> 00:22:31,164 I have so much baby stuff I can lend you. 431 00:22:31,232 --> 00:22:33,757 Let me know if you need to borrow my old breast pump. 432 00:22:33,834 --> 00:22:34,990 I just have to rinse it. 433 00:22:54,353 --> 00:22:57,322 My favorite lubricant, Ann? WD-40. 434 00:22:57,389 --> 00:23:01,287 Thea. I've made some brownies for you to fatten you up. 435 00:23:01,356 --> 00:23:02,380 Oh, thank you. 436 00:23:02,457 --> 00:23:03,686 It popped. 437 00:23:03,759 --> 00:23:05,750 Yeah, once you pop, you can't stop. 438 00:23:05,828 --> 00:23:08,729 You're carrying low. It's definitely a boy. 439 00:23:08,798 --> 00:23:12,529 Whatever it is, you've obviously begun that slippery slide into obesity. 440 00:23:12,601 --> 00:23:15,468 Well, you had a nice run there, didn't you, champ? 441 00:23:15,538 --> 00:23:18,063 Oh, good morning. 442 00:23:18,140 --> 00:23:20,131 Look at you. 443 00:23:20,209 --> 00:23:22,804 Oh, my God. I think I just felt it kick. 444 00:23:22,879 --> 00:23:25,867 Oh. Yeah, mark it in the baby journal for me, will you? 445 00:23:25,945 --> 00:23:27,105 I will. 446 00:23:27,180 --> 00:23:28,478 Are people buying it? 447 00:23:28,549 --> 00:23:31,040 Totally. Totally. Ann made me brownies. 448 00:23:31,118 --> 00:23:33,109 I got a seat on the bus today. 449 00:23:33,187 --> 00:23:35,280 And Garth is not attracted to me anymore. 450 00:23:35,355 --> 00:23:37,347 It's the best morning I've had in years. 451 00:23:37,425 --> 00:23:40,087 Okay, you want to hear something even more amazing? 452 00:23:40,161 --> 00:23:42,288 Have you read Abbott's new manuscript? 453 00:23:42,363 --> 00:23:44,126 I get asked to Xerox, not to read. 454 00:23:44,199 --> 00:23:47,191 Okay. Get ready to have your mind blown. 455 00:23:47,268 --> 00:23:50,722 Ah, "Philip of Macedon had a hard-on. " 456 00:23:50,801 --> 00:23:53,463 "Scaled great peaks to conquer the Greeks. " 457 00:23:53,537 --> 00:23:56,006 It's all rhyming couplets and dirty limericks. 458 00:23:56,074 --> 00:23:58,372 And this is what Jerry's betting the bank on. 459 00:23:59,344 --> 00:24:00,811 It's insane. 460 00:24:00,879 --> 00:24:02,073 Oh, you're welcome. 461 00:24:05,884 --> 00:24:07,648 Well, you look different. 462 00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:10,587 Sorry. I'll move you to the shitty corner in a second. 463 00:24:10,656 --> 00:24:13,683 It's all right, dear. You've got your hands full. 464 00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:15,951 You've exploded. 465 00:24:16,025 --> 00:24:17,083 Well, yes, she has. 466 00:24:21,197 --> 00:24:23,757 Well, people. I'm sure you'll be relieved to hear 467 00:24:23,833 --> 00:24:27,428 that MacArthur is expected to make a full recovery. 468 00:24:27,504 --> 00:24:29,166 I've gotten her a spot 469 00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:32,641 at the McElroy Center for Veterinary Rehabilitation in Bethesda. 470 00:24:32,710 --> 00:24:34,541 It's the best in the country. 471 00:24:34,612 --> 00:24:38,275 They tell me she should be at 90 percent tail-wagging capability 472 00:24:38,349 --> 00:24:39,611 after just six weeks. 473 00:24:39,683 --> 00:24:41,670 I'll be out of the office for a while. 474 00:24:41,748 --> 00:24:44,273 I'll be working out of the rehab center in Bethesda 475 00:24:44,351 --> 00:24:47,481 where I've taken a room for the duration of MacArthur's stay. 476 00:24:47,556 --> 00:24:51,014 Until I get back, Nicky will be holding down the fort. 477 00:24:51,093 --> 00:24:54,221 I'm giving him strict instructions not to do anything stupid. 478 00:24:54,296 --> 00:24:56,025 Code red. 479 00:24:56,098 --> 00:24:58,362 Seriously, Nick. 480 00:24:58,433 --> 00:25:00,298 Don't blow it. 481 00:25:02,472 --> 00:25:04,064 Check it out. 482 00:25:04,140 --> 00:25:07,230 There's our fearless leader plotting our brilliant future. 483 00:25:07,306 --> 00:25:10,605 Well at least with him in charge, I'm off the hook. 484 00:25:10,676 --> 00:25:12,871 Well, things are looking up. 485 00:25:12,945 --> 00:25:15,539 Okay, let's figure out how to get me out of this mess. 486 00:25:15,614 --> 00:25:19,244 I'll Google what kind of mishaps can happen when you're pregnant. 487 00:25:19,319 --> 00:25:21,310 Hi, guys. Sorry to bother you. 488 00:25:21,388 --> 00:25:24,825 You're boss now, Nick. You can bother us anytime you want. 489 00:25:24,892 --> 00:25:30,592 Right. Um, Thea, I kind of need a favor. Would you, come with me? 490 00:25:33,530 --> 00:25:35,157 We're meeting Suzie Cavendish. 491 00:25:35,232 --> 00:25:37,565 I mentioned her in the meeting last week. 492 00:25:37,635 --> 00:25:40,661 You see, Suzie's written this hilarious book 493 00:25:40,738 --> 00:25:44,105 about pregnancy. It, it's true stories about pregnant women 494 00:25:44,175 --> 00:25:48,168 getting stuck in bathtubs and throwing up under their desks at work 495 00:25:48,246 --> 00:25:51,010 and farting by mistake in meetings. 496 00:25:51,082 --> 00:25:54,644 It, it's stuff you, you must know a lot more about than me, obviously. 497 00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:56,775 Yeah, totally. Totally. 498 00:25:56,851 --> 00:26:00,184 I'm trying really, really hard not to fart right now. 499 00:26:00,255 --> 00:26:03,589 Anyway, I want to publish Suzie's book 500 00:26:03,659 --> 00:26:06,594 and, and while Jerry's gone, I'm gonna do it. 501 00:26:06,662 --> 00:26:08,926 You know, carpe diem and all that stuff. 502 00:26:08,998 --> 00:26:10,694 Yeah, definitely. 503 00:26:10,767 --> 00:26:14,726 I actually used to be a pretty carpe diem kind of person myself. 504 00:26:14,805 --> 00:26:15,999 But not anymore. 505 00:26:16,073 --> 00:26:17,301 Because I'm pregnant. 506 00:26:17,374 --> 00:26:19,103 See, that's just it. 507 00:26:19,176 --> 00:26:22,107 Suzie's not convinced that Steinwald's the right place. 508 00:26:22,175 --> 00:26:25,474 So I thought you might help convince her otherwise. 509 00:26:25,545 --> 00:26:27,138 Yeah, sure. 510 00:26:27,214 --> 00:26:30,547 I mean, I'll just talk to her about the whole farting thing. 511 00:26:33,153 --> 00:26:35,986 Uh, one thing. Uh, Suzie kind of thinks you're an editor. 512 00:26:36,056 --> 00:26:37,614 Why would she think that? 513 00:26:37,691 --> 00:26:39,215 I kind of implied it. 514 00:26:39,293 --> 00:26:40,317 What? 515 00:26:40,394 --> 00:26:41,418 Suzie! 516 00:26:41,495 --> 00:26:43,965 Hi. Nice to see you. 517 00:26:44,033 --> 00:26:47,965 Most pregnancy books make you feel totally inadequate 518 00:26:48,033 --> 00:26:50,558 and how you're destined to be a failure as a parent. 519 00:26:50,636 --> 00:26:53,196 No one writes about what pregnancy is really like, 520 00:26:53,271 --> 00:26:55,739 how you feel fat and clumsy and stupid. 521 00:26:55,807 --> 00:26:57,707 The absolute worst 522 00:26:57,776 --> 00:27:01,474 is "What to Expect When You're Expecting. " Have you read that? 523 00:27:01,547 --> 00:27:06,177 Oh, no, I was told it was so bad I shouldn't even go near it. 524 00:27:06,252 --> 00:27:08,049 So, what are you reading? 525 00:27:08,121 --> 00:27:10,612 Uh, 526 00:27:10,690 --> 00:27:13,655 You know, just the usual suspects. 527 00:27:13,722 --> 00:27:15,212 Like? 528 00:27:15,290 --> 00:27:19,557 Well, I was banking on finding Pregnancy for Dummies. 529 00:27:19,629 --> 00:27:22,190 I love that series. Yeah. 530 00:27:22,266 --> 00:27:24,530 Hm. Interesting. 531 00:27:24,602 --> 00:27:26,797 Come on, Nicky, how can you guys sell my book 532 00:27:26,871 --> 00:27:29,237 if you're not familiar with the competition? 533 00:27:29,306 --> 00:27:31,706 Thea has had a pretty full workload lately. 534 00:27:31,776 --> 00:27:35,577 I don't know, guys. I don't know if this is the right marriage. 535 00:27:35,647 --> 00:27:38,976 Come on. From the people who brought you the Kalashnikov diaries 536 00:27:39,047 --> 00:27:42,539 comes a comedic send-up of 21st century pregnancy? 537 00:27:42,617 --> 00:27:45,552 It's just, the right home is so important. 538 00:27:45,620 --> 00:27:47,212 I know. We are the right home. 539 00:27:47,288 --> 00:27:51,419 I mean, sure, our, uh, plumbing is a little leaky 540 00:27:51,493 --> 00:27:53,893 and maybe we need a new paint job. 541 00:27:53,962 --> 00:27:58,058 But our backyard is a really great place for a barbecue in the summer. 542 00:27:58,133 --> 00:28:01,501 You know? 543 00:28:01,571 --> 00:28:06,300 If we can make a bestseller out of the "Defeat of Darius at Issus" we've gotta be good. 544 00:28:06,372 --> 00:28:08,307 I mean, that couldn't be easy, right? 545 00:28:08,375 --> 00:28:10,104 Absolutely. 546 00:28:10,177 --> 00:28:12,839 The thing about pregnancy is it's incredibly messy. 547 00:28:12,913 --> 00:28:15,814 Those other books are teaching you how to avoid the mess. 548 00:28:15,882 --> 00:28:17,315 You're embracing the mess. 549 00:28:17,384 --> 00:28:20,410 And you've written an incredible insightful, 550 00:28:20,487 --> 00:28:24,481 hilarious, controversial manifesto. 551 00:28:24,559 --> 00:28:27,494 Just give us a shot. It has bestseller written all over it. 552 00:28:27,562 --> 00:28:29,423 We promise we won't let you down. 553 00:28:31,862 --> 00:28:32,988 So you've read it. 554 00:28:33,063 --> 00:28:35,327 Oh. I live it. Love it. Every day. 555 00:28:37,234 --> 00:28:39,931 Let me think about it. 556 00:28:40,004 --> 00:28:42,496 Hey, I'm starting a new birthing class tomorrow. 557 00:28:42,575 --> 00:28:44,133 Maybe Thea could come with me. 558 00:28:44,210 --> 00:28:45,507 She'll be there. 559 00:28:45,578 --> 00:28:47,239 And bring your partner. 560 00:28:47,313 --> 00:28:50,476 Her fiancee. Miles, right? 561 00:28:50,549 --> 00:28:53,575 Yeah. Could you excuse me for a second? 562 00:28:53,652 --> 00:28:54,842 Yes. 563 00:29:02,024 --> 00:29:03,719 Vodka. Straight up. 564 00:29:09,432 --> 00:29:11,093 Thanks. 565 00:29:19,273 --> 00:29:20,865 You okay? 566 00:29:20,941 --> 00:29:23,273 I just set the world record for bullshitting. 567 00:29:23,344 --> 00:29:24,868 What happened? 568 00:29:24,945 --> 00:29:27,436 Long story. I can't handle doing it again. 569 00:29:29,083 --> 00:29:30,175 A promotion? 570 00:29:30,251 --> 00:29:32,550 You are the new Associate Editor 571 00:29:32,621 --> 00:29:34,384 of our brand new Family division. 572 00:29:34,456 --> 00:29:36,117 Family division? 573 00:29:36,191 --> 00:29:39,058 Suzie called. She wants to give us a shot, thanks to you. 574 00:29:39,127 --> 00:29:41,527 Now, Suzie's book will launch our new division. 575 00:29:41,596 --> 00:29:44,493 It's a perfect opportunity to capture a new demographic 576 00:29:44,562 --> 00:29:46,757 and help the company to grow vertically... 577 00:29:46,831 --> 00:29:48,389 Nick. 578 00:29:48,466 --> 00:29:51,163 Look, there's something I need to tell you. 579 00:29:51,236 --> 00:29:52,703 This whole thing is a big lie. 580 00:29:52,771 --> 00:29:55,069 I feel terrible, but I'm not really... 581 00:29:55,140 --> 00:29:56,869 An editor? 582 00:29:56,942 --> 00:29:59,309 I know, I'm the one who forced you to lie. 583 00:29:59,379 --> 00:30:03,748 Which as a rule isn't great but what's not a lie is that you did really good today. 584 00:30:03,817 --> 00:30:05,843 There's so many people more qualified. 585 00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:08,912 So many people in ways you don't even know. 586 00:30:08,989 --> 00:30:13,388 Thea. To be a good editor all you need is a, a feel for the material 587 00:30:13,456 --> 00:30:16,050 It's what my father had when he started this company 588 00:30:16,126 --> 00:30:17,957 and it's what you have. 589 00:30:18,028 --> 00:30:21,486 You're living through the thrills of starting a family. 590 00:30:21,565 --> 00:30:23,898 What about Kristen? She's pregnant. 591 00:30:23,968 --> 00:30:27,267 Obviously I am too, but she's, she's really pregnant. 592 00:30:27,338 --> 00:30:31,775 First of all, Kristen's a lawyer without a creative bone in her body. 593 00:30:31,843 --> 00:30:36,436 And then there's the indisputable fact that she's a complete weirdo. 594 00:30:36,511 --> 00:30:40,573 Oh. Look, Nick, I mean, I see your point. 595 00:30:40,649 --> 00:30:42,844 I do. And I wanna help. 596 00:30:42,918 --> 00:30:45,853 But I just, I can't. 597 00:30:45,921 --> 00:30:47,946 I'm not your accountant. 598 00:30:48,023 --> 00:30:50,321 But the other thing you should know is that 599 00:30:50,392 --> 00:30:54,158 associate editors make a lot more money than secretaries. 600 00:30:54,230 --> 00:30:55,322 A lot? 601 00:30:55,397 --> 00:30:57,025 Let's just say, 602 00:30:57,100 --> 00:30:59,295 you'll have your own secretary and office. 603 00:30:59,369 --> 00:31:02,300 So are you my new associate editor? 604 00:31:02,368 --> 00:31:04,893 I guess I am. 605 00:31:08,074 --> 00:31:11,202 "War Stories From the Pregnancy Front" by Suzie Cavendish. 606 00:31:11,277 --> 00:31:14,247 You loved it, you live it. 607 00:31:14,314 --> 00:31:15,907 You should probably read it. 608 00:31:15,984 --> 00:31:18,646 I do, I agree with what you're saying. 609 00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:21,518 If you have your colon health you do have everything. 610 00:31:21,589 --> 00:31:25,423 But, I do, I thought it interesting when you said we were going wrong 611 00:31:25,493 --> 00:31:31,224 and we should be sort of on the seat like a gargoyle as opposed to just sitting. 612 00:31:31,296 --> 00:31:34,288 Not now, Miles. 613 00:31:34,366 --> 00:31:38,268 Don't you know enough about being fake pregnant already? 614 00:31:38,336 --> 00:31:41,828 How can this be this big of a deal? 615 00:31:41,907 --> 00:31:45,570 I mean, come on, you do the nasty, you're knocked up, 616 00:31:45,644 --> 00:31:49,547 you inflate and then, uh, eight, nine months? Nine months later 617 00:31:49,615 --> 00:31:53,775 you shoot that puppy out. I mean, how can there be 8 million books about this? 618 00:31:53,849 --> 00:31:55,943 Just promise me you won't write one. 619 00:31:56,019 --> 00:31:59,420 Okay. If you promise you're still on birth control. 620 00:31:59,489 --> 00:32:01,286 Believe me, I am. 621 00:32:01,357 --> 00:32:02,551 Oh, yeah? 622 00:32:02,625 --> 00:32:03,649 Uh-huh. 623 00:32:03,727 --> 00:32:04,819 Excellent. 624 00:32:29,317 --> 00:32:30,614 Nice new digs, huh? 625 00:32:30,685 --> 00:32:31,743 Yeah. 626 00:32:31,819 --> 00:32:33,287 So, what did you think? 627 00:32:33,355 --> 00:32:34,549 About what? 628 00:32:34,623 --> 00:32:36,454 Uh, Suzie's book. Any thoughts? 629 00:32:38,094 --> 00:32:40,790 Oh, yeah, it was great. 630 00:32:40,863 --> 00:32:42,690 What do you think? 631 00:32:42,761 --> 00:32:45,389 How much did you actually read? 632 00:32:45,464 --> 00:32:47,796 The first two chapters. 633 00:32:47,866 --> 00:32:51,495 But I'm gonna finish the rest of it today. I just got a little distracted. 634 00:32:51,570 --> 00:32:53,265 Nick, please, let me explain. 635 00:32:53,339 --> 00:32:55,399 Thanks for your thoughts. 636 00:32:55,475 --> 00:33:00,469 You have shelves. And a door. 637 00:33:02,582 --> 00:33:05,176 Congratulations, Thea. 638 00:33:05,251 --> 00:33:07,272 Thank you, Greg. 639 00:33:10,486 --> 00:33:13,787 You really think you can get to the top by playing games, don't ya? 640 00:33:13,858 --> 00:33:17,157 I know what you're up to, Thea. And I think that it stinks. 641 00:33:17,228 --> 00:33:19,696 Hm. 642 00:33:19,764 --> 00:33:23,564 Really? Do you think that it stinks that I want to hire you to be my Assistant? 643 00:33:23,634 --> 00:33:25,568 Really? 644 00:33:25,636 --> 00:33:29,004 You'll start first thing Monday after I put the paperwork through. 645 00:33:29,074 --> 00:33:32,767 Oh, wow, Thea. Thea, thank you so much. I, I could kiss you right now. 646 00:33:32,841 --> 00:33:34,274 You don't have to do that. 647 00:33:34,342 --> 00:33:35,673 I'll see you later, boss. 648 00:33:35,744 --> 00:33:37,735 Look at you, Little Miss Executive. 649 00:33:37,812 --> 00:33:40,508 Hardly. I don't even really know what I'm doing here. 650 00:33:40,582 --> 00:33:43,142 I didn't finish the manuscript last night and Nick 651 00:33:43,218 --> 00:33:45,585 just asked for my opinion and I didn't have one. 652 00:33:45,654 --> 00:33:51,753 You might wanna get one. This is your ticket out of the secretarial pool. 653 00:34:06,006 --> 00:34:09,032 If your last name is O'Keeffe, why do you look Jewish? 654 00:34:09,109 --> 00:34:13,102 Well, it's true. You don't look Irish. 655 00:34:30,262 --> 00:34:31,627 Steinwald Publishing. 656 00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:43,898 So O'Keeffe got a new girlfriend. He's robbing the cradle. 657 00:34:43,976 --> 00:34:45,568 She's 95. 658 00:34:49,378 --> 00:34:50,902 Did you hear me? 659 00:34:54,250 --> 00:34:56,275 I loved it. It was funny and smart 660 00:34:56,352 --> 00:34:58,820 and you don't even have to be pregnant to enjoy it. 661 00:34:58,888 --> 00:35:01,288 I'm guessing about that because I am pregnant. 662 00:35:01,357 --> 00:35:03,222 I enjoyed it and I'm not pregnant. 663 00:35:03,293 --> 00:35:06,694 I was thinking, you could organize the chapters like a pregnancy. 664 00:35:06,763 --> 00:35:09,495 You know, group each woman's stories by trimester. 665 00:35:09,568 --> 00:35:12,969 So, so the book would start with stories about the awkward moments 666 00:35:13,038 --> 00:35:16,026 when everyone thinks you've been eating too many cupcakes. 667 00:35:16,104 --> 00:35:18,163 Exactly. And then the second trimester. 668 00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:21,572 Like Sally's story when she threw up in her purse at her kid's play. 669 00:35:21,642 --> 00:35:25,373 Nick, I'm sorry I didn't finish the book last night. It won't happen again. 670 00:35:25,446 --> 00:35:27,210 I'm glad you like it. 671 00:35:27,282 --> 00:35:30,581 We've got our work cut out for us. It'll be in bookstores in 6 weeks. 672 00:35:30,652 --> 00:35:35,988 I'd like to see your notes, but Suzie's class starts in 20 minutes so you should go. 673 00:35:36,058 --> 00:35:41,356 I totally forgot. The thing is, Miles is, is going out of town for work. 674 00:35:41,426 --> 00:35:42,518 That's too bad. 675 00:35:42,594 --> 00:35:44,222 Do you think I could reschedule? 676 00:35:44,597 --> 00:35:48,898 Now it's time for partner relaxation techniques 677 00:35:49,002 --> 00:35:51,027 for when your special marathon begins. 678 00:35:51,104 --> 00:35:54,505 So, partners, I want you to move behind your marathoners 679 00:35:54,574 --> 00:35:56,633 with your legs open in a big V. 680 00:35:56,710 --> 00:35:59,338 Hm. Welcome home. 681 00:35:59,412 --> 00:36:04,112 Now, take this opportunity to stroke your wives or girlfriends. 682 00:36:04,185 --> 00:36:06,240 Stroke it out. 683 00:36:06,316 --> 00:36:09,513 Now why don't you whisper something special to her, okay? 684 00:36:09,586 --> 00:36:12,817 Something that only you two would share in this private moment. 685 00:36:12,890 --> 00:36:16,758 It could be funny, It could be naughty. 686 00:36:16,827 --> 00:36:19,023 I'm not listening. 687 00:36:19,097 --> 00:36:21,395 Let that relaxation wash over you. 688 00:36:21,466 --> 00:36:22,990 I am so sorry about this. 689 00:36:23,067 --> 00:36:25,501 It's, you know, you don't have to stroke my hair. 690 00:36:25,570 --> 00:36:27,232 Okay, I'm sorry. 691 00:36:27,306 --> 00:36:29,433 Uh, you know, you can lean back if you want. 692 00:36:29,508 --> 00:36:31,472 I, I can tell you're kind of straining. 693 00:36:31,540 --> 00:36:32,666 I am. 694 00:36:32,741 --> 00:36:35,108 Great. Now that we're all relaxed, 695 00:36:35,178 --> 00:36:37,738 let's try some birthing positions, okay? 696 00:36:37,813 --> 00:36:41,044 Mary? Could I borrow your partner for just a sec? 697 00:36:41,117 --> 00:36:43,517 I promise I'll give him back. Maybe. 698 00:36:43,586 --> 00:36:45,952 I'm just kidding. Come here, cutie. All right. 699 00:36:46,022 --> 00:36:50,722 I want you to get on all fours with your palms firmly placed to the ground 700 00:36:50,794 --> 00:36:55,250 and then we're gonna rock back. We're gonna rock back into it. Oh. 701 00:36:55,328 --> 00:36:57,626 Feel that womb open up. 702 00:36:57,697 --> 00:37:01,258 It feels familiar, right? This is how we got ourselves into this mess. 703 00:37:01,334 --> 00:37:05,464 For some of us, not all of us. The position's not for everybody. 704 00:37:05,538 --> 00:37:10,477 Partners, I want you to envelope your marathoner, okay? 705 00:37:10,545 --> 00:37:13,878 And just get in a deep stretch here around the belly 706 00:37:13,949 --> 00:37:18,215 keep moving back and forth, right? Get your hands on the tummy back there. 707 00:37:18,286 --> 00:37:21,308 And keep pushing in. Keep pushing in and envelope. 708 00:37:21,385 --> 00:37:23,910 Get right on top of there. Feel that, feel... Oop. 709 00:37:23,988 --> 00:37:25,320 Man down, okay. 710 00:37:25,390 --> 00:37:26,652 It's okay. 711 00:37:26,725 --> 00:37:29,592 Just hop back on. No mistakes here. 712 00:37:29,661 --> 00:37:35,463 Okay. All right. Finish up when you feel done. I need a few more. 713 00:37:35,534 --> 00:37:37,934 If you'll indulge me Mary, thank you. 714 00:37:38,003 --> 00:37:41,405 Okay, and just keep the rocking. Never stop rocking. 715 00:37:41,474 --> 00:37:46,932 Oh! Yes. Give it to me, Rob, we're doing it now. 716 00:37:47,010 --> 00:37:50,878 Oh! Oh! 717 00:37:50,947 --> 00:37:54,280 Okay. And we're done. 718 00:37:54,351 --> 00:37:57,252 Wonderful, thank you. This guy's good, right? 719 00:37:57,320 --> 00:37:59,915 I'm gonna borrow you for another class. 720 00:37:59,991 --> 00:38:03,518 Or after class. I'm kidding. 721 00:38:07,465 --> 00:38:08,693 Bye, guys. 722 00:38:08,766 --> 00:38:11,788 That was great. Thanks a lot. 723 00:38:11,865 --> 00:38:13,059 Bye. 724 00:38:13,133 --> 00:38:15,033 Wow. That was up there 725 00:38:15,103 --> 00:38:18,539 as one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. 726 00:38:18,606 --> 00:38:21,404 Hey, here, let me get you something. 727 00:38:21,476 --> 00:38:24,605 No, no, it's the least I can do after nearly paralyzing you. 728 00:38:26,715 --> 00:38:29,175 Hi. 729 00:38:32,822 --> 00:38:34,289 Thanks. 730 00:38:34,357 --> 00:38:36,878 Did you always work in the family business? 731 00:38:36,956 --> 00:38:42,394 Uh, I wanted to be a writer. But I was scared I might be a total hack 732 00:38:42,461 --> 00:38:44,622 so I got an accounting degree. 733 00:38:44,697 --> 00:38:47,996 I figured I'd make a living doing that while I finished my book... 734 00:38:48,067 --> 00:38:50,628 but kind of been stuck in the middle for a few years. 735 00:38:50,704 --> 00:38:52,535 What do you wanna be when you grow up? 736 00:38:52,606 --> 00:38:55,439 Well, in college I played in a badass metal band. 737 00:38:55,509 --> 00:38:57,568 Really? You're a badass? 738 00:38:57,644 --> 00:39:00,044 A little bit, kind of. 739 00:39:00,113 --> 00:39:03,807 Fascinating. A little terrifying but fascinating. 740 00:39:03,881 --> 00:39:08,012 So is that what you did in college, badass metal band studies? 741 00:39:08,086 --> 00:39:10,145 No, I didn't finish college. 742 00:39:10,221 --> 00:39:13,247 Oh, why not? Too boring? Not Joan Jett enough for you? 743 00:39:13,325 --> 00:39:18,763 No. Um, I loved college. It's just my parents passed away in a car accident, 744 00:39:18,830 --> 00:39:22,129 so I had to leave to take care of my little sister. 745 00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:24,431 I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. 746 00:39:24,503 --> 00:39:27,366 Oh, n-no. I, I'm glad you told me. 747 00:39:27,436 --> 00:39:30,234 I'm just so sorry that happened. 748 00:39:30,305 --> 00:39:31,738 Thanks. 749 00:39:33,775 --> 00:39:35,640 So is your sister a badass like you? 750 00:39:35,711 --> 00:39:37,804 No, she's more of a smart ass. 751 00:39:37,879 --> 00:39:40,474 Here. 752 00:39:42,820 --> 00:39:45,880 Hey, you know, uh, Suzie's having a pool party this weekend. 753 00:39:45,956 --> 00:39:47,685 You should come. And bring Miles. 754 00:39:47,758 --> 00:39:49,282 Pool party? 755 00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:51,726 Yeah. I promise, I won't be wearing a Speedo. 756 00:40:06,741 --> 00:40:08,231 Nice look! 757 00:40:08,309 --> 00:40:11,142 Do we have a secret steam room you never told me about? 758 00:40:11,212 --> 00:40:12,679 No, I'm going to a pool party. 759 00:40:12,747 --> 00:40:15,216 Ah. Well, good thing you've got that towel on now. 760 00:40:15,283 --> 00:40:18,305 Wouldn't wanna leave that 'til when you actually get there. 761 00:40:18,383 --> 00:40:21,319 Enough of the sass, smarty pants. What are you doing here? 762 00:40:21,387 --> 00:40:23,048 Tennis ended early. 763 00:40:23,122 --> 00:40:25,113 What's the bag for? 764 00:40:25,190 --> 00:40:26,714 Nothing. 765 00:40:26,792 --> 00:40:29,386 Come on, you can do better than that. 766 00:40:29,461 --> 00:40:30,986 At least I'm wearing pants. 767 00:40:31,064 --> 00:40:32,827 Pants? You call those pants? 768 00:40:32,899 --> 00:40:35,026 They're shorts. 769 00:40:35,101 --> 00:40:39,868 All right, bye. Don't call if you need me. 770 00:40:43,205 --> 00:40:47,233 Okay, you really have to act like you're the father, okay? 771 00:40:47,310 --> 00:40:48,572 Yeah. 772 00:40:48,645 --> 00:40:50,704 You're the father. It's serious. 773 00:40:50,781 --> 00:40:51,975 Oh, come on. 774 00:40:52,048 --> 00:40:53,913 You have to appear to be responsible. 775 00:40:53,984 --> 00:40:55,952 Are you kidding me? I'm totally psyched. 776 00:40:56,019 --> 00:40:59,182 I thought about this. Everyone's gonna think I'm a super-stud 777 00:40:59,256 --> 00:41:01,157 for knocking up a hot chick like you. 778 00:41:01,225 --> 00:41:04,218 Okay, so, that's an example of something you wouldn't say. 779 00:41:04,296 --> 00:41:07,697 Baby. Well, I think you're beautiful even with your... 780 00:41:07,766 --> 00:41:08,990 Thank you. 781 00:41:15,570 --> 00:41:17,094 Hey. 782 00:41:17,172 --> 00:41:18,639 How are you? 783 00:41:18,706 --> 00:41:21,904 Nick, this is my fiance, Miles. Miles, this is Nick. 784 00:41:21,977 --> 00:41:24,878 Congratulations. You must be so excited. 785 00:41:24,947 --> 00:41:28,644 Oh, it's, I just can't wait for the little guy to pop out. 786 00:41:28,717 --> 00:41:29,911 Oh, you're having a boy. 787 00:41:29,985 --> 00:41:31,009 Yeah. 788 00:41:31,086 --> 00:41:32,383 We, uh, we just found out. 789 00:41:32,455 --> 00:41:33,941 And do you have a name yet? 790 00:41:34,019 --> 00:41:35,646 Now, see, I didn't think any... 791 00:41:35,720 --> 00:41:36,812 Hey. 792 00:41:36,888 --> 00:41:38,824 Garth, this is my fiance, Miles. 793 00:41:38,892 --> 00:41:41,417 Miles, Garth. He's an editor at the company. 794 00:41:41,495 --> 00:41:42,894 You're a lucky guy, huh? 795 00:41:42,963 --> 00:41:47,593 Yes, I am. You look pretty lucky yourself there. 796 00:41:47,668 --> 00:41:50,102 I'm gonna go inside and say hi to Suzie. 797 00:41:50,170 --> 00:41:51,694 Oh, yeah, hold up, babe. 798 00:41:51,772 --> 00:41:54,206 I'm taking a dip. It's blazing here. Babes. 799 00:41:54,274 --> 00:41:55,299 Yeah? 800 00:41:55,376 --> 00:41:56,604 Right there. 801 00:41:56,678 --> 00:41:58,145 Anybody care to join? 802 00:41:58,213 --> 00:41:59,301 I will. Let's go in. 803 00:41:59,376 --> 00:42:00,741 That's what I like to hear. 804 00:42:00,811 --> 00:42:02,335 I don't wanna get my chain wet. 805 00:42:02,413 --> 00:42:05,246 Listen, I have two friends that I want you to meet. 806 00:42:05,316 --> 00:42:08,911 They're both writers and they're actually looking for a new publisher, 807 00:42:08,986 --> 00:42:10,783 so I think they'll really like you. 808 00:42:10,855 --> 00:42:12,118 Really? 809 00:42:12,190 --> 00:42:13,987 You and Nick make such a good team. 810 00:42:14,059 --> 00:42:15,287 Thank you. 811 00:42:22,568 --> 00:42:26,056 Hey, guys. I want you to meet Audrey Gold 812 00:42:26,134 --> 00:42:29,866 and Dr. Terry Bournachle. Terry wrote the Bournachle Baby Book, 813 00:42:29,939 --> 00:42:31,804 which is the bible. 814 00:42:31,875 --> 00:42:35,504 I won't even touch that. I don't wanna be accused of having a God complex. 815 00:42:35,578 --> 00:42:38,308 And Audrey just finished a book on single parenting 816 00:42:38,381 --> 00:42:42,715 and I hear from reliable sources that she's not very happy at Boyle Donner. 817 00:42:42,785 --> 00:42:45,721 Oh, well we would love to meet with you guys. 818 00:42:47,691 --> 00:42:51,214 Yeah, Nick and Thea just started a parenting division at Steinwald. 819 00:42:51,291 --> 00:42:53,657 Hmm. You have the most unique shape. 820 00:42:53,727 --> 00:42:58,165 If you don't mind me asking, you don't have a distended uterus, do you? 821 00:42:58,232 --> 00:43:02,465 Uh, no, no, I, I don't think so. 822 00:43:02,538 --> 00:43:05,029 Well, who's your OB? 823 00:43:05,107 --> 00:43:09,373 Dr. Draken Barysinwitz. 824 00:43:09,444 --> 00:43:12,572 You mean Hans? Frogenberry Schoenewitz? 825 00:43:12,648 --> 00:43:15,204 I thought he moved back to Vienna. 826 00:43:16,548 --> 00:43:18,072 Oh! 827 00:43:18,149 --> 00:43:21,711 My bad. I just, I was trying to, totally going for her. 828 00:43:21,787 --> 00:43:23,220 Very funny, Miles. 829 00:43:23,289 --> 00:43:27,191 Hey. You should, uh, you should totally come in. 830 00:43:27,259 --> 00:43:29,193 We're having such a good time in there. 831 00:43:29,261 --> 00:43:31,195 I don't feel like swimming right now. 832 00:43:31,263 --> 00:43:33,197 Come on. It's so nice in there. 833 00:43:33,265 --> 00:43:36,134 No one cares that you're fat. Kids, tell her to come in. 834 00:43:36,203 --> 00:43:39,468 Come in. Come in. Come in. 835 00:43:39,540 --> 00:43:41,333 It's okay. 836 00:43:41,405 --> 00:43:43,635 You don't want to disappoint the children. 837 00:43:43,707 --> 00:43:44,731 Woo! 838 00:43:44,808 --> 00:43:46,070 Shit. 839 00:43:48,845 --> 00:43:50,039 What is that? 840 00:43:50,113 --> 00:43:53,044 Oh! 841 00:43:55,453 --> 00:43:56,750 That's not cool. 842 00:44:03,962 --> 00:44:05,858 It was so humiliating. 843 00:44:05,926 --> 00:44:09,191 On the way home I told him to drop me off and never speak to me again. 844 00:44:09,263 --> 00:44:12,597 Good. I always thought Miles was a bit of a numbnut anyway. 845 00:44:12,667 --> 00:44:16,570 I'm just so embarrassed that Nick thinks he's the father of my child. 846 00:44:16,639 --> 00:44:18,266 Who cares what Nick thinks? 847 00:44:18,341 --> 00:44:20,138 He's just the first person in years 848 00:44:20,209 --> 00:44:23,440 that thinks I'm capable of doing more than just pouring coffee. 849 00:44:23,512 --> 00:44:25,742 What do you think he'll say when he finds out 850 00:44:25,815 --> 00:44:29,946 your baby is a piece of polyurethane foam we swiped off a mannequin? 851 00:44:30,020 --> 00:44:32,814 He's actually kinda cute though, don't you think? 852 00:44:32,885 --> 00:44:34,147 Who? 853 00:44:34,220 --> 00:44:35,915 Um, Nick. 854 00:44:35,989 --> 00:44:37,752 Um, no. 855 00:44:37,824 --> 00:44:39,314 Cigarette? 856 00:44:39,392 --> 00:44:41,826 No, I probably shouldn't. 857 00:44:44,632 --> 00:44:48,966 Okay, uh, to recap, uh 858 00:44:49,036 --> 00:44:52,335 only one of you would even bother to look at the book. 859 00:44:52,406 --> 00:44:56,931 And the rest of you wouldn't buy it with a gun to your head... 860 00:44:57,008 --> 00:44:59,476 which can't be good for sales. 861 00:45:03,181 --> 00:45:06,241 Can any of you tell me why the cover doesn't speak to you? 862 00:45:06,318 --> 00:45:10,618 Maybe comparing pregnancy to a battle is, uh, putting you off. 863 00:45:10,689 --> 00:45:12,054 Yes. 864 00:45:12,124 --> 00:45:14,319 I can't stay for the rest of the focus group. 865 00:45:14,393 --> 00:45:17,021 Can I still get my check? 866 00:45:17,095 --> 00:45:19,121 Just stop by reception. 867 00:45:24,667 --> 00:45:26,828 Okay. Uh, one down. 868 00:45:29,772 --> 00:45:32,537 Maybe we should forget what's on the cover for a second. 869 00:45:32,609 --> 00:45:35,204 What makes this book great is that it's a collection 870 00:45:35,279 --> 00:45:38,874 of real stories for real women talking about how it feels to be pregnant. 871 00:45:38,949 --> 00:45:41,281 So let's talk about some of us feel right now. 872 00:45:42,687 --> 00:45:44,052 I feel like crap. 873 00:45:44,121 --> 00:45:47,177 That's good. I mean, that's bad. But keep going. 874 00:45:47,254 --> 00:45:51,214 How come no one talks about how much pregnancy sucks! 875 00:45:51,292 --> 00:45:53,453 Oh, there's no glow in my house. 876 00:45:53,528 --> 00:45:56,497 Okay, so what I'm hearing is that you're all so over it. 877 00:45:56,564 --> 00:45:58,293 Yeah. 878 00:45:58,366 --> 00:46:01,096 Hello, I'm Orca the Whale. Like, what's up with that? 879 00:46:01,169 --> 00:46:03,262 I know, they're not even bloated at all. 880 00:46:03,337 --> 00:46:05,567 Thea, your sister's at reception. 881 00:46:10,412 --> 00:46:12,309 Hey, what are you doing here? 882 00:46:12,378 --> 00:46:16,178 You forgot to sign the release for my trip to Lake Arrowhead. It's due today. 883 00:46:16,248 --> 00:46:20,116 Thea, aren't you going to introduce me to your sister? 884 00:46:20,186 --> 00:46:23,155 Oh, Nick, Emma. Emma, Nick. 885 00:46:23,222 --> 00:46:25,088 She's in a real rush. She has to go. 886 00:46:26,593 --> 00:46:31,189 Okay, well, this has been fun. It's been fun. 887 00:46:31,264 --> 00:46:32,424 What is that? 888 00:46:32,499 --> 00:46:34,296 Just because you don't like my dress 889 00:46:34,367 --> 00:46:35,994 doesn't mean you have to be rude. 890 00:46:36,069 --> 00:46:37,930 Move. I'll tell you outside. 891 00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:39,262 What's wrong with you? 892 00:46:39,335 --> 00:46:41,394 I'm a big fat liar, but Jerry was firing me 893 00:46:41,471 --> 00:46:43,167 I had to come up with something. 894 00:46:45,142 --> 00:46:47,667 You are one sandwich shy of a picnic, you know that? 895 00:46:47,745 --> 00:46:49,940 You're crazy. What are you thinking? 896 00:46:50,014 --> 00:46:53,711 You might be interested to know that I got a promotion and a raise. 897 00:46:53,785 --> 00:46:56,379 I can't believe we're actually related. 898 00:46:56,454 --> 00:46:58,251 As soon as I can I'm gonna come clean. 899 00:46:58,323 --> 00:47:01,350 Things are complicated. The company depends on me. 900 00:47:01,427 --> 00:47:05,587 I have heard enough. I am out of here. 901 00:47:13,869 --> 00:47:14,927 Morning, Thea. 902 00:47:15,003 --> 00:47:16,562 Last month's and this month's. 903 00:47:16,639 --> 00:47:18,197 Wow, early. That's a first. 904 00:47:20,476 --> 00:47:22,137 I've got something for you. 905 00:47:22,211 --> 00:47:24,008 Oh, you made these? 906 00:47:24,080 --> 00:47:25,342 Yes. 907 00:47:25,414 --> 00:47:28,504 I went with marigold because it's neutral. 908 00:47:28,580 --> 00:47:30,242 Thank you. 909 00:47:33,354 --> 00:47:34,548 Hey. 910 00:47:34,622 --> 00:47:37,785 Hey. Okay, not that you're interested, 911 00:47:37,858 --> 00:47:40,850 but the word is that Nick's divorce is finalized this week. 912 00:47:40,928 --> 00:47:42,122 Garth told me. 913 00:47:42,196 --> 00:47:43,788 Garth told you? 914 00:47:43,864 --> 00:47:46,458 I've been hanging out with him, Miss Busy. 915 00:47:46,534 --> 00:47:49,800 I took the liberty of picking you up a calcium-enriched smoothie 916 00:47:49,871 --> 00:47:53,268 and a bran muffin. I figured you might be getting a little backed up. 917 00:47:53,337 --> 00:47:54,326 Thanks, Greg. 918 00:47:54,405 --> 00:47:56,498 You're welcome. Excuse me. 919 00:47:56,574 --> 00:47:59,065 Greg's worried about you being backed up? 920 00:47:59,143 --> 00:48:01,941 Constipation is a common problem for pregnant women. 921 00:48:02,013 --> 00:48:04,140 Ach. 922 00:48:04,215 --> 00:48:07,811 Well, lucky for you you're not actually pregnant. 923 00:48:07,887 --> 00:48:09,821 Or do you even know that anymore? 924 00:48:09,889 --> 00:48:11,720 Of course I know that. Obviously. 925 00:48:13,193 --> 00:48:14,820 Hi, sorry to interrupt. 926 00:48:14,894 --> 00:48:18,330 Wanted to get you a little something. I ordered it off of eBay. 927 00:48:20,196 --> 00:48:23,098 It's an armadillo foot for, for when you're in labor. 928 00:48:23,166 --> 00:48:25,396 It, it wards off the evil eye. 929 00:48:25,468 --> 00:48:27,868 Thank you so much, Carl. That's so sweet of you. 930 00:48:27,938 --> 00:48:30,429 I'll keep it with me the whole time. 931 00:48:30,507 --> 00:48:34,807 Oh-kay. I know I told you to go along with this for a few weeks, 932 00:48:34,878 --> 00:48:36,846 but you're starting to freak me out. 933 00:48:36,913 --> 00:48:38,813 Things are going really well for me. 934 00:48:38,882 --> 00:48:41,852 It's not because of the stomach. You're doing good work. 935 00:48:41,919 --> 00:48:44,406 The only thing you're doing bad is walking around 936 00:48:44,484 --> 00:48:46,953 with a load of bullshit strapped to your stomach. 937 00:48:47,021 --> 00:48:48,215 Nick. Nick. 938 00:48:48,289 --> 00:48:49,517 Nick. 939 00:48:49,591 --> 00:48:50,990 What's up? 940 00:48:51,059 --> 00:48:53,220 You won't believe who left me a voicemail. 941 00:48:53,294 --> 00:48:55,228 An Associate producer from the Vista. 942 00:48:55,296 --> 00:48:56,422 No way. 943 00:48:56,497 --> 00:48:57,897 She read the book, loves it, 944 00:48:57,967 --> 00:48:59,992 with Claire's approval, we'll be in. 945 00:49:00,069 --> 00:49:02,060 That would be the greatest thing ever. 946 00:49:02,137 --> 00:49:03,934 Oh! 947 00:49:04,006 --> 00:49:05,200 Oh. 948 00:49:05,274 --> 00:49:08,710 Sorry. I, I'm a bit of a closet hugger. 949 00:49:08,777 --> 00:49:10,331 I, that won't happen again. 950 00:49:10,408 --> 00:49:11,898 That's, that's okay. 951 00:49:11,977 --> 00:49:13,673 Nick, Jerry for you. 952 00:49:13,746 --> 00:49:16,078 Oh. Uh, put him through. 953 00:49:16,148 --> 00:49:18,048 How you holding down the fort, Nicky? 954 00:49:18,117 --> 00:49:20,210 Good, Everything's going great. 955 00:49:20,286 --> 00:49:21,844 Working on a little project. 956 00:49:21,921 --> 00:49:24,151 You haven't done anything stupid, have you? 957 00:49:24,223 --> 00:49:25,554 No, of course not. 958 00:49:25,625 --> 00:49:28,561 You're doing great, sweetie. 959 00:49:30,297 --> 00:49:34,530 Do me a favor, Nick. No little projects. Don't do anything. 960 00:49:34,598 --> 00:49:39,297 Don't touch anything. If you need a project, try Match. Com. 961 00:49:39,370 --> 00:49:41,770 It's been awhile since you've seen any action. 962 00:49:41,839 --> 00:49:44,330 Okay, Jerry. I'll talk to you later. Thank you. 963 00:49:46,076 --> 00:49:47,738 It really hasn't been that long. 964 00:49:47,812 --> 00:49:49,439 I'm, I'm sure. 965 00:49:49,514 --> 00:49:52,506 Um, okay. I got a lot of work to do. So, I'm gonna go do it. 966 00:49:52,584 --> 00:49:55,212 Okay. Bye. 967 00:50:00,421 --> 00:50:02,286 So the book comes out in three weeks. 968 00:50:02,356 --> 00:50:04,986 That, that gives us plenty of time for publicity. 969 00:50:11,067 --> 00:50:12,864 I hope you don't mind. 970 00:50:12,936 --> 00:50:15,370 I just couldn't take it anymore. 971 00:50:19,609 --> 00:50:21,202 Oh, wow. 972 00:50:21,278 --> 00:50:22,609 I can see! 973 00:50:24,515 --> 00:50:27,275 God. I don't know if you know this, but you're pregnant. 974 00:50:27,347 --> 00:50:30,544 Your sense of humor really takes a dive after nine o'clock, huh? 975 00:50:30,617 --> 00:50:31,982 Is it after nine? 976 00:50:32,052 --> 00:50:33,417 Yeah. 977 00:50:33,486 --> 00:50:35,886 Oh, my God, I'm slave-driving a pregnant woman. 978 00:50:35,956 --> 00:50:37,583 Not at all, I want to be here. 979 00:50:37,657 --> 00:50:40,627 I do, I feel I'm making up for lost time. 980 00:50:40,695 --> 00:50:43,323 And I'm really grateful you've given me this shot. 981 00:50:43,397 --> 00:50:45,423 So, thanks. 982 00:50:45,500 --> 00:50:46,797 It's my pleasure. 983 00:50:51,903 --> 00:50:53,894 You should be at home with your fiance. 984 00:50:53,972 --> 00:50:56,271 Right. My fiance. 985 00:51:00,579 --> 00:51:02,376 I'm taking you home. 986 00:51:02,448 --> 00:51:06,612 But, I promise to have ridiculously high expectations 987 00:51:06,685 --> 00:51:07,811 of you in the morning. 988 00:51:08,954 --> 00:51:10,387 Thank you. 989 00:51:10,456 --> 00:51:12,687 Well, here, no, no. 990 00:51:12,759 --> 00:51:14,124 Okay. 991 00:52:02,171 --> 00:52:03,196 Is this your first? 992 00:52:03,273 --> 00:52:05,798 Yeah. I can't wait. And you? 993 00:52:05,876 --> 00:52:06,998 It's mine, too. 994 00:52:09,275 --> 00:52:10,799 Would you sign this, please? 995 00:52:16,983 --> 00:52:18,507 Oh, that's amazing. 996 00:52:18,584 --> 00:52:22,146 What about Thea? Thea? 997 00:52:22,222 --> 00:52:23,814 Absolutely, you. 998 00:52:23,891 --> 00:52:24,949 No, no, no. 999 00:52:25,025 --> 00:52:27,286 Yes. 1000 00:52:27,361 --> 00:52:29,056 No, I stay behind the camera. 1001 00:52:29,129 --> 00:52:30,994 You, over here right now. 1002 00:52:31,065 --> 00:52:32,926 Come on, give it a shot. 1003 00:52:35,265 --> 00:52:36,324 Oh, yeah. 1004 00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:37,492 Work it. 1005 00:52:37,568 --> 00:52:38,660 Nick. 1006 00:52:38,736 --> 00:52:40,533 Make love to the... 1007 00:52:40,605 --> 00:52:43,335 Sorry. I know you don't actually say that. I'm sorry. 1008 00:52:47,145 --> 00:52:49,739 Thanks for coming here with me. I had such a craving. 1009 00:52:49,815 --> 00:52:51,806 Are you kidding me? I love mud slide pie. 1010 00:52:51,883 --> 00:52:54,284 I think we could use a little more whipped cream. 1011 00:52:54,353 --> 00:52:56,378 Oh, did I tell you we signed Bournachle? 1012 00:52:56,456 --> 00:52:58,147 Thanks for hooking us up with him. 1013 00:52:58,220 --> 00:53:00,882 My pleasure. Oh, I may have some good news. 1014 00:53:00,956 --> 00:53:04,221 I may have gotten us two spots in Sunshine Daycare. 1015 00:53:04,293 --> 00:53:07,421 Great. Thanks. I haven't even thought about daycare. 1016 00:53:07,496 --> 00:53:10,261 I don't know how you do it, with your kid, your pregnancy 1017 00:53:10,333 --> 00:53:13,393 and your job. I can't even take care of my little sister, Emma. 1018 00:53:13,470 --> 00:53:15,631 I wish my mother left me user instructions. 1019 00:53:15,705 --> 00:53:18,071 Well, there are no hard and fast rules. 1020 00:53:18,141 --> 00:53:19,871 You just have to go with your gut. 1021 00:53:19,944 --> 00:53:23,103 Yeah, well I certainly have no shortage of gut at the moment. 1022 00:53:23,176 --> 00:53:26,738 Well, when all else fails, sugar and shopping. 1023 00:53:26,814 --> 00:53:28,805 Very persuasive. 1024 00:53:42,563 --> 00:53:43,622 Hi. 1025 00:53:43,699 --> 00:53:45,291 Hi. Is Emma here? 1026 00:53:45,367 --> 00:53:48,127 Hi, Emma. Can you babysit tomorrow night? 1027 00:53:48,199 --> 00:53:50,133 Oh, I can't, Donna. Sorry. 1028 00:53:50,201 --> 00:53:52,533 I have to study with my friend Chloe. 1029 00:53:52,604 --> 00:53:55,505 Um, I can do it. 1030 00:53:55,573 --> 00:53:57,268 You know, good practice. 1031 00:53:57,342 --> 00:54:00,643 That's right. Oh, God. Thea, you are the best. 1032 00:54:00,714 --> 00:54:02,181 Tomorrow night at eight? 1033 00:54:02,249 --> 00:54:03,443 Yes. 1034 00:54:03,517 --> 00:54:04,643 Great. Bye. 1035 00:54:07,821 --> 00:54:11,552 I don't even know who you are right now, but you're definitely not the best. 1036 00:54:11,625 --> 00:54:15,580 Do you wanna make cupcakes and then maybe go shopping at Forever Twenty-One? 1037 00:54:15,658 --> 00:54:20,528 No. Actually I'd rather scrub myself down with a pineapple 1038 00:54:20,597 --> 00:54:22,326 than do that. 1039 00:54:24,735 --> 00:54:26,703 I don't know what to do. 1040 00:54:26,770 --> 00:54:32,504 This was Dan's idea. He was all, like, let's have a baby. It'll be so cute. 1041 00:54:32,576 --> 00:54:34,875 You know? I was, like really? 1042 00:54:34,946 --> 00:54:38,936 Really? Well, let's strap 50 pounds of cement to your torso 1043 00:54:39,014 --> 00:54:42,450 and see how fun it is then. You know, I just... 1044 00:54:42,517 --> 00:54:45,611 Yeah. I know. I understand. 1045 00:54:45,687 --> 00:54:48,485 I just need a drink. Or some weed. 1046 00:54:48,557 --> 00:54:50,218 I know it's scary. 1047 00:54:50,292 --> 00:54:54,525 I mean, the fact that we're gonna have these tiny fragile humans 1048 00:54:54,597 --> 00:54:57,930 totally dependent on us. It's kind of freaking me out, too 1049 00:54:58,000 --> 00:54:59,262 Really? 1050 00:54:59,335 --> 00:55:00,632 Yeah. 1051 00:55:00,703 --> 00:55:03,035 'Cause, Thea, you just, you seem so together. 1052 00:55:03,105 --> 00:55:04,568 Oh, hi. 1053 00:55:04,636 --> 00:55:06,035 We need to talk. 1054 00:55:06,104 --> 00:55:07,799 What happened? 1055 00:55:07,873 --> 00:55:09,739 Okay, thanks for listening. 1056 00:55:14,614 --> 00:55:16,138 Uh, 1057 00:55:16,216 --> 00:55:18,185 I uh, 1058 00:55:18,252 --> 00:55:20,550 I kind of got into an altercation with Miles. 1059 00:55:20,621 --> 00:55:22,088 What are you talking about? 1060 00:55:22,156 --> 00:55:24,750 He was kissing another woman. So I confronted him. 1061 00:55:24,826 --> 00:55:27,989 And he told me he's not the father. 1062 00:55:28,063 --> 00:55:29,458 So I punched him. 1063 00:55:29,527 --> 00:55:30,653 You what? 1064 00:55:30,728 --> 00:55:34,061 I punched him. I couldn't help it. 1065 00:55:34,131 --> 00:55:36,725 You deserve better than that, Thea, a, a lot better. 1066 00:55:36,801 --> 00:55:40,032 Nick, Miles is not the father. 1067 00:55:40,104 --> 00:55:41,902 He's not even my boyfriend anymore. 1068 00:55:41,974 --> 00:55:44,238 The truth is, there is no father. 1069 00:55:44,309 --> 00:55:48,109 I mean, there is but it was a one-night stand and he's out of the picture now. 1070 00:55:48,180 --> 00:55:53,208 Thea, there is nothing wrong with being a single mother. 1071 00:55:53,285 --> 00:55:54,441 Okay. 1072 00:55:56,218 --> 00:55:59,848 The printer has a question He's on line one. 1073 00:55:59,923 --> 00:56:01,720 Okay. 1074 00:56:03,126 --> 00:56:04,684 Oh. 1075 00:56:04,761 --> 00:56:06,956 What was that about? He looks like a maniac. 1076 00:56:07,030 --> 00:56:08,497 I just told Nick the truth. 1077 00:56:08,565 --> 00:56:10,294 How'd he take it? 1078 00:56:10,367 --> 00:56:13,131 Okay. He doesn't think I should be with Miles anyway. 1079 00:56:13,203 --> 00:56:15,536 Yeah, but what did he say about the pregnancy? 1080 00:56:15,606 --> 00:56:17,904 He didn't say anything about the pregnancy. 1081 00:56:17,975 --> 00:56:19,567 What's there to say? 1082 00:56:19,644 --> 00:56:22,734 Thea. We should talk. Do you want to get a beer after work? 1083 00:56:22,809 --> 00:56:25,744 A beer? You know I can't drink. 1084 00:56:30,951 --> 00:56:32,920 Is your stomach growing? 1085 00:56:32,987 --> 00:56:34,922 Well, I'm nearly six months now. 1086 00:56:41,263 --> 00:56:42,525 Hi, how are you? 1087 00:56:42,598 --> 00:56:44,725 Where's my sister, Emma? 1088 00:56:46,564 --> 00:56:49,158 Hey. 1089 00:56:49,235 --> 00:56:51,066 How was practice? 1090 00:56:51,137 --> 00:56:52,968 Fine. Same as usual. 1091 00:56:53,039 --> 00:56:57,806 Really? That's funny because Coach Henretti told me you quit a month ago. 1092 00:56:57,877 --> 00:57:01,779 I found this in your backpack. You've got some explaining to do. 1093 00:57:01,847 --> 00:57:04,372 That's dried cilantro. 1094 00:57:04,450 --> 00:57:05,508 Yeah, right. 1095 00:57:05,584 --> 00:57:07,177 Smell it. 1096 00:57:10,057 --> 00:57:12,283 Okay, maybe it is. But where were you today? 1097 00:57:12,355 --> 00:57:15,223 At Jake's, waiting tables. 1098 00:57:15,292 --> 00:57:17,590 You've been lying for weeks. 1099 00:57:17,661 --> 00:57:19,151 Hey, I learn from the best. 1100 00:57:25,704 --> 00:57:29,196 Hey, um, your boss is here. 1101 00:57:29,274 --> 00:57:30,639 What? 1102 00:57:30,709 --> 00:57:33,007 Maybe he wants to make cupcakes with you. 1103 00:57:33,078 --> 00:57:35,205 Um, can you get my stomach? It's in my room. 1104 00:57:35,280 --> 00:57:39,770 Yeah. But, um, it'll cost you 25 bucks. 1105 00:57:39,847 --> 00:57:41,110 15! 1106 00:57:41,183 --> 00:57:42,775 Sold. 1107 00:57:42,851 --> 00:57:45,615 She'll be right with you. She's just getting dressed. 1108 00:57:45,687 --> 00:57:46,676 Okay, thanks. 1109 00:57:52,628 --> 00:57:56,291 Does it make you feel weird knowing she's naked only, like, ten feet away. 1110 00:57:56,366 --> 00:57:57,891 Em! 1111 00:57:57,968 --> 00:57:59,492 Coming. 1112 00:57:59,570 --> 00:58:00,628 Stomach. 1113 00:58:00,704 --> 00:58:01,928 No. Pay me. 1114 00:58:02,001 --> 00:58:03,992 I'll pay you after. Give me the stomach. 1115 00:58:04,070 --> 00:58:07,369 A promise from Thea? I can't take that to the bank. Just pay me know. 1116 00:58:11,811 --> 00:58:14,804 Thank you. Here's your fake belly. 1117 00:58:14,882 --> 00:58:15,849 Shut up. Get out. 1118 00:58:18,386 --> 00:58:19,444 Hello. 1119 00:58:19,520 --> 00:58:20,680 Hey. 1120 00:58:20,755 --> 00:58:22,655 Okay. 1121 00:58:22,723 --> 00:58:24,054 Hey. 1122 00:58:24,125 --> 00:58:26,646 Um, I, I just, I thought I'd stop by, uh... 1123 00:58:26,723 --> 00:58:29,658 I wanted to show you something. 1124 00:58:29,726 --> 00:58:34,165 It's our very first complete copy of the book with cover and everything. 1125 00:58:34,233 --> 00:58:37,896 That's, that's great! And, wow, I'm on the cover. 1126 00:58:37,970 --> 00:58:41,406 Oh. And we booked, uh, Tynan's bookstore for the book launch. 1127 00:58:41,473 --> 00:58:42,770 That's awesome. 1128 00:58:42,841 --> 00:58:45,002 Well, um, I should probably get outta here 1129 00:58:45,077 --> 00:58:46,942 and let you enjoy your Saturday. 1130 00:58:47,012 --> 00:58:49,709 Well, um, if you're free then do you wanna get coffee? 1131 00:58:49,783 --> 00:58:51,045 Sure. 1132 00:58:54,283 --> 00:58:58,549 I had a dog once. Then Jerry stole it, took it to college with him. 1133 00:58:58,621 --> 00:59:00,111 Oh. 1134 00:59:00,189 --> 00:59:03,522 There's something amazing about having a child. 1135 00:59:03,592 --> 00:59:08,929 It makes you feel like a part of something bigger, 1136 00:59:08,999 --> 00:59:13,596 you know, even if it's not real. Well, for me, that is. 1137 00:59:15,440 --> 00:59:19,429 Lydia didn't want children. And I never questioned it. 1138 00:59:19,506 --> 00:59:21,737 But now I, 1139 00:59:21,810 --> 00:59:27,771 I realize, I, I do wanna be a father. 1140 00:59:47,432 --> 00:59:50,960 I've been wanting to do that for a really long time. 1141 00:59:51,037 --> 00:59:53,335 Actually, I just, just did that. 1142 00:59:53,406 --> 00:59:55,034 Right. 1143 00:59:55,108 --> 00:59:57,838 We should probably take things slowly though. 1144 00:59:57,911 --> 00:59:59,378 Absolutely. 1145 00:59:59,446 --> 01:00:01,175 Yeah. 1146 01:00:13,991 --> 01:00:16,323 I have to... I just realized... 1147 01:00:16,393 --> 01:00:17,951 I have to go. 1148 01:00:18,028 --> 01:00:20,519 There's somewhere... I have to go somewhere. 1149 01:00:20,598 --> 01:00:21,758 Sure. Okay. 1150 01:00:21,832 --> 01:00:23,697 My sister... I'll talk to you later. 1151 01:00:23,767 --> 01:00:25,098 Okay. 1152 01:00:42,150 --> 01:00:44,414 Yes, she's due the sixth of October. 1153 01:00:44,486 --> 01:00:47,081 Alright. Okay. 1154 01:00:47,156 --> 01:00:50,387 That was your friend, Rachel. And these are for you. 1155 01:00:50,460 --> 01:00:52,360 She saw the book at Crown Books. 1156 01:00:52,428 --> 01:00:54,794 How come you didn't tell her you were pregnant? 1157 01:00:54,864 --> 01:00:57,332 I thought I told her. It must have slipped my mind. 1158 01:00:57,400 --> 01:00:58,988 Pregnancy brain. 1159 01:00:59,064 --> 01:01:02,158 I was planning on waiting a little longer to start a family. 1160 01:01:02,234 --> 01:01:04,465 Sow my wild oats a little bit. 1161 01:01:04,538 --> 01:01:07,633 But, I feel like there is a larger purpose for me. 1162 01:01:07,708 --> 01:01:12,873 Thea, you need someone who is smart and responsible. 1163 01:01:12,947 --> 01:01:14,471 Oh, God. 1164 01:01:14,549 --> 01:01:18,076 I offer myself to you, mind and body, heart and soul. 1165 01:01:18,152 --> 01:01:20,621 Let me be your baby daddy. 1166 01:01:20,689 --> 01:01:24,348 Uh-uh-uh, that's very generous of you. 1167 01:01:24,422 --> 01:01:28,654 But it's, you know... that's not gonna ha... 1168 01:01:28,726 --> 01:01:31,490 Don't worry about it. It's a tough decision. 1169 01:01:31,563 --> 01:01:33,463 Thea, can I talk to you? 1170 01:01:33,531 --> 01:01:34,998 Yeah, sure, yes. 1171 01:01:35,066 --> 01:01:36,329 Yes, absolutely. 1172 01:01:36,402 --> 01:01:38,267 If you could let me know before lunch. 1173 01:01:38,337 --> 01:01:40,202 I have a J date I'd have to cancel. 1174 01:01:40,272 --> 01:01:43,639 I don't want to do that if I don't have to. She's a little older... 1175 01:01:45,844 --> 01:01:47,335 So you're ready for tonight? 1176 01:01:47,414 --> 01:01:49,401 Yeah. Totally. 1177 01:01:49,478 --> 01:01:51,673 We should clear the air. 1178 01:01:55,218 --> 01:01:57,743 I've been thinking a lot about what happened. 1179 01:01:57,821 --> 01:01:59,982 And I feel terrible about it. 1180 01:02:00,057 --> 01:02:01,649 You do? 1181 01:02:01,725 --> 01:02:05,388 I'm your boss and I made... I made a pass at you. 1182 01:02:05,462 --> 01:02:07,760 Nick, that's not it. I made a pass at you. 1183 01:02:07,831 --> 01:02:10,027 I caught that pass and I threw it back. 1184 01:02:10,101 --> 01:02:11,125 And I liked it. 1185 01:02:11,202 --> 01:02:12,533 You did? 1186 01:02:12,604 --> 01:02:14,397 Look, that's not what it is, 1187 01:02:17,338 --> 01:02:19,135 I'm just afraid of... 1188 01:02:19,206 --> 01:02:22,505 There's a guy, Philip, at reception. He says he's the father? 1189 01:02:22,576 --> 01:02:24,168 Do want me to talk to this guy? 1190 01:02:24,244 --> 01:02:26,042 No, no, no. It's okay. 1191 01:02:26,114 --> 01:02:27,377 I'll talk to him. 1192 01:02:27,450 --> 01:02:29,782 It's okay. Thank you both. Excuse me. 1193 01:02:29,852 --> 01:02:32,616 Young man, don't you have any sense of responsibility? 1194 01:02:32,688 --> 01:02:35,521 I didn't even know, lady. She never returned my calls. 1195 01:02:35,591 --> 01:02:38,185 Christ, is it mine, Thea? 1196 01:02:38,260 --> 01:02:39,655 Believe me, it's not yours. 1197 01:02:39,725 --> 01:02:41,886 You can't be sure. I did the math. 1198 01:02:41,960 --> 01:02:43,291 Believe me. I can be sure. 1199 01:02:43,362 --> 01:02:45,058 I demand a DNA test! 1200 01:02:45,131 --> 01:02:46,189 Yeah. I'll tell her. 1201 01:02:46,265 --> 01:02:47,664 Bye. 1202 01:02:47,734 --> 01:02:49,531 Your sister needs you at home. 1203 01:02:49,602 --> 01:02:51,194 A fire in the toilet? 1204 01:02:51,270 --> 01:02:54,262 Your toilet's on fire? Isn't that technically impossible? 1205 01:02:54,340 --> 01:02:55,739 Who's Philip? 1206 01:02:55,808 --> 01:02:58,834 Uh, an old, old boyfriend. Big misunderstanding. 1207 01:02:58,911 --> 01:03:00,173 Everything okay? 1208 01:03:00,246 --> 01:03:02,841 Yeah. Everything's okay. No worries here. 1209 01:03:02,916 --> 01:03:06,849 Completely under control. But, uh, I, I should probably get home to my sister. 1210 01:03:06,917 --> 01:03:09,408 I'll meet you at the party. Whoa. Sorry. 1211 01:03:23,535 --> 01:03:26,501 Surprise! 1212 01:03:28,507 --> 01:03:29,997 Hi, everyone. 1213 01:03:30,075 --> 01:03:31,732 Oh my God, Aunt Betty! 1214 01:03:31,806 --> 01:03:34,435 Surprise, darlin'. Darlin'. 1215 01:03:34,510 --> 01:03:37,308 It's so good to see you. 1216 01:03:37,379 --> 01:03:40,371 Aunt Jane and I just drove in from Seattle. 1217 01:03:40,449 --> 01:03:43,613 Oh, Aunt, thank you, it's so sweet of you to do this. 1218 01:03:43,687 --> 01:03:46,178 Thank you. 1219 01:03:48,858 --> 01:03:50,086 Oooh! 1220 01:03:50,160 --> 01:03:52,186 Ooh, it's a onesies. Just what I needed. 1221 01:03:52,263 --> 01:03:53,787 We all decorated them. 1222 01:03:53,864 --> 01:03:55,725 Who made this one? 1223 01:03:58,999 --> 01:04:00,023 And this one? 1224 01:04:01,702 --> 01:04:03,465 What a good job, Sam! 1225 01:04:06,773 --> 01:04:08,503 That one's mine. 1226 01:04:08,576 --> 01:04:10,100 I just thought 1227 01:04:10,178 --> 01:04:12,646 it was a little ironic. 1228 01:04:12,714 --> 01:04:16,309 More people are coming. Hi. Who is it? 1229 01:04:16,384 --> 01:04:19,114 Whoa. 1230 01:04:19,187 --> 01:04:22,745 Hey, well, I hate to break up the party, but, uh, we need to talk. 1231 01:04:22,821 --> 01:04:24,755 Everybody hang onto your seats 1232 01:04:24,823 --> 01:04:27,054 just in case something happens to her story. 1233 01:04:27,126 --> 01:04:30,027 Uh, no, I should get changed. I need to be at a work event. 1234 01:04:30,096 --> 01:04:32,291 So thank you for the shower, everyone. 1235 01:04:32,364 --> 01:04:34,161 Thank you. 1236 01:04:34,233 --> 01:04:35,530 Bye. 1237 01:04:38,738 --> 01:04:42,607 She is so out of control. Look. She has stockpiled 1238 01:04:42,676 --> 01:04:46,802 all of this random stuff in her closet. I mean, what is this? Seriously. 1239 01:04:46,876 --> 01:04:48,537 It was on sale. 1240 01:04:48,611 --> 01:04:52,274 Okay. I need you to say, My name is Thea and I am not pregnant. 1241 01:04:52,348 --> 01:04:54,976 This is ridiculous. And I've gotta go. 1242 01:04:55,051 --> 01:04:56,177 Come here. 1243 01:04:58,221 --> 01:05:00,588 You have got to come clean. 1244 01:05:02,193 --> 01:05:06,630 I will. Okay? I promise. Just not yet. 1245 01:05:06,698 --> 01:05:10,429 It's just I'm better pregnant. For once, my life doesn't suck. 1246 01:05:10,502 --> 01:05:14,332 And I can't go back to being Jerry's secretary or unemployed. 1247 01:05:14,401 --> 01:05:17,838 What are you gonna do? Stay pregnant for the rest of your life? 1248 01:05:17,906 --> 01:05:21,364 People will get suspicious. 1249 01:05:21,443 --> 01:05:23,775 Act like a grown-up. Stop playing dress-up. 1250 01:05:23,845 --> 01:05:27,110 Oh, my God, this is ridiculous. Take off the stomach now! 1251 01:05:27,182 --> 01:05:28,342 No. 1252 01:05:28,416 --> 01:05:30,145 Then I'm gonna take it off for you. 1253 01:05:30,218 --> 01:05:31,412 Get off of me! 1254 01:05:31,486 --> 01:05:32,647 Let me take it off! 1255 01:05:32,722 --> 01:05:33,916 Get off of me. 1256 01:05:33,990 --> 01:05:37,444 Oh, hey! Hey, guys! Emma, stop it! 1257 01:05:37,523 --> 01:05:39,081 Stop it! 1258 01:05:39,158 --> 01:05:40,421 Let me take it off! 1259 01:05:40,493 --> 01:05:41,926 Making noise. 1260 01:05:41,995 --> 01:05:43,223 They are making noise. 1261 01:05:43,296 --> 01:05:44,490 Hey! Stop it! 1262 01:05:44,564 --> 01:05:45,690 Take that thing off. 1263 01:05:45,765 --> 01:05:48,325 I said stop. Gosh. 1264 01:05:48,401 --> 01:05:50,666 Come on. 1265 01:05:50,738 --> 01:05:51,898 Stay back! 1266 01:05:51,972 --> 01:05:53,496 I'll get that thing off of you. 1267 01:05:53,574 --> 01:05:54,700 Get off of me! 1268 01:05:54,775 --> 01:05:56,470 I'm gonna take that thing off now! 1269 01:05:56,544 --> 01:05:57,568 Give it back! 1270 01:05:57,645 --> 01:05:58,942 Agh. 1271 01:05:59,013 --> 01:06:00,571 What are you doing? 1272 01:06:03,180 --> 01:06:05,011 You are so grounded! 1273 01:06:05,081 --> 01:06:06,344 Forever! 1274 01:06:11,789 --> 01:06:14,257 Uh, ladies. 1275 01:06:14,325 --> 01:06:16,259 I think we need to re-group. 1276 01:06:16,327 --> 01:06:19,195 Stark raving mad. 1277 01:06:24,470 --> 01:06:25,528 Excuse me. 1278 01:06:28,204 --> 01:06:30,365 What are you doing? 1279 01:06:36,345 --> 01:06:38,210 I thought she was pregnant. 1280 01:06:39,448 --> 01:06:41,440 Um. 1281 01:06:41,518 --> 01:06:43,383 I'm really confused. 1282 01:06:53,993 --> 01:06:58,830 Well, that is the last time I throw a surprise party for anyone. 1283 01:06:58,900 --> 01:07:00,629 That baked zitti goes home with me. 1284 01:07:07,342 --> 01:07:09,742 Sorry. I had to take care of things with Em. 1285 01:07:09,811 --> 01:07:11,301 The toilet fire? 1286 01:07:11,379 --> 01:07:13,210 Yeah, I got the blaze under control. 1287 01:07:13,281 --> 01:07:16,149 You guys are amazing. This is a great turnout. Thank you. 1288 01:07:16,218 --> 01:07:18,114 Okay. 1289 01:07:18,183 --> 01:07:22,950 Time to struggle with public speaking. Sit back and enjoy. 1290 01:07:23,021 --> 01:07:24,386 You're gonna be great. 1291 01:07:24,456 --> 01:07:25,480 Thanks. 1292 01:07:29,160 --> 01:07:31,652 What was that? Are you guys... 1293 01:07:31,731 --> 01:07:34,222 I don't know. Maybe. Kinda. 1294 01:07:34,300 --> 01:07:35,767 Hey. Good. 1295 01:07:35,835 --> 01:07:39,863 Good evening, everyone. I'm back! 1296 01:07:39,940 --> 01:07:42,408 MacArthur finished rehab a week early. 1297 01:07:42,476 --> 01:07:46,101 What's the matter, Nicky? You don't look happy to see me. 1298 01:07:46,175 --> 01:07:49,043 Of course I am, Jerry. Welcome back. 1299 01:07:49,113 --> 01:07:51,274 You're just in time for Suzie's reading. 1300 01:07:51,348 --> 01:07:53,009 I got a little surprise for you. 1301 01:07:53,083 --> 01:07:56,109 I just signed Rumsfeld for his first book deal! 1302 01:07:56,186 --> 01:07:57,551 Donald? 1303 01:07:57,621 --> 01:07:59,748 No, Carlos. Of course Donald. 1304 01:07:59,823 --> 01:08:01,814 I met him at the rehab facility. 1305 01:08:01,892 --> 01:08:03,883 His cat had a terrible case of sciatica. 1306 01:08:03,961 --> 01:08:07,693 They had to put the poor thing on oxycontin. She got addicted. It was a mess. 1307 01:08:07,766 --> 01:08:09,491 I'm in the middle of something. 1308 01:08:09,563 --> 01:08:12,396 Rummy's book is genius. It's gonna put us back on the map. 1309 01:08:12,466 --> 01:08:15,094 It's a completely unique opus about his time in Iraq 1310 01:08:15,169 --> 01:08:17,468 sprinkled with some of his favorite recipes. 1311 01:08:17,539 --> 01:08:20,007 It's called "Fire It Up. " Here's the manuscript. 1312 01:08:20,075 --> 01:08:23,341 It sounds great, Jerry, but I've got a reading now. Can this wait? 1313 01:08:23,413 --> 01:08:25,643 You know what? I'll be reading my book. 1314 01:08:25,715 --> 01:08:28,309 I'm shutting down your little operation. 1315 01:08:30,520 --> 01:08:32,283 Jerry, Suzie's book is a real gem. 1316 01:08:32,355 --> 01:08:34,046 It could be a hit for the company. 1317 01:08:34,119 --> 01:08:37,611 What are you so afraid of? That I might do a better job than you? 1318 01:08:37,690 --> 01:08:39,852 Hmm. Let me think. 1319 01:08:39,926 --> 01:08:43,555 Have you ever done better than me at anything? 1320 01:08:43,630 --> 01:08:46,963 Hello, everybody. I've got a treat for you tonight. 1321 01:08:47,033 --> 01:08:50,264 I'm gonna be reading from Donald Rumsfeld's new book. 1322 01:08:50,337 --> 01:08:52,703 Here's a particularly touching passage 1323 01:08:52,772 --> 01:08:56,175 about a short rib recipe he picked up while in Baghdad. 1324 01:08:56,244 --> 01:08:59,437 Suzie's reading. Go read your cookbook somewhere else, Jerry. 1325 01:08:59,510 --> 01:09:01,944 Step away from the podium now! 1326 01:09:03,114 --> 01:09:05,082 Make me. 1327 01:09:05,850 --> 01:09:06,908 He begins. 1328 01:09:06,985 --> 01:09:08,145 Agh! 1329 01:09:15,127 --> 01:09:16,719 Get off! 1330 01:09:16,795 --> 01:09:19,662 Okay. Okay. Stop itl That's enough. 1331 01:09:19,732 --> 01:09:22,929 That's enough. Stop it. Get off of him. 1332 01:09:23,002 --> 01:09:26,559 How pathetic. You have to have your secretary defend you. 1333 01:09:26,634 --> 01:09:28,158 She's not a secretary. 1334 01:09:28,236 --> 01:09:31,297 Oh, really? Then what is she, other than shrill? 1335 01:09:31,374 --> 01:09:34,003 She's a fantastic editor. 1336 01:09:34,077 --> 01:09:37,979 Oh, that's rich. An editor? 1337 01:09:38,048 --> 01:09:41,916 So I go away for a few months, and the world's lamest accountant 1338 01:09:41,985 --> 01:09:45,011 is running my company with the world's dumbest secretary. 1339 01:09:45,088 --> 01:09:47,455 All I can say is, 1340 01:09:47,525 --> 01:09:49,955 I hope your kid doesn't inherit your brains. 1341 01:09:51,825 --> 01:09:53,019 Oh! 1342 01:09:53,093 --> 01:09:54,856 Be careful! Be careful 1343 01:09:54,928 --> 01:09:56,190 Oh, God! 1344 01:10:00,067 --> 01:10:02,535 Oh. 1345 01:10:02,603 --> 01:10:05,402 What happened to your stomach? 1346 01:10:12,381 --> 01:10:14,941 Oh, Nicky. 1347 01:10:15,017 --> 01:10:17,914 You always were such a good judge of character. 1348 01:10:17,983 --> 01:10:21,249 Nick. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. 1349 01:10:21,320 --> 01:10:25,416 I never meant for things to go this far. 1350 01:10:25,491 --> 01:10:29,791 Jerry was gonna fire me and I couldn't afford to get fired. 1351 01:10:29,862 --> 01:10:33,559 And I thought the whole thing would blow over in a day or two. 1352 01:10:33,633 --> 01:10:36,101 Blow over in a day or two? 1353 01:10:40,040 --> 01:10:42,436 What kind of person pretends to be pregnant? 1354 01:10:47,744 --> 01:10:50,008 Nick. I'm sorry. Just... 1355 01:10:50,080 --> 01:10:51,981 Please, just... Nick. 1356 01:11:09,997 --> 01:11:12,660 Hey, Nick, it's Thea, um 1357 01:11:12,734 --> 01:11:14,929 I'm kinda wondering what you're up to. 1358 01:11:15,003 --> 01:11:18,495 Kinda of assuming that what you're up to is hating me. 1359 01:11:18,574 --> 01:11:21,566 Kinda feeling very bad about that. 1360 01:11:21,643 --> 01:11:24,111 Anyway. Call me. 1361 01:11:26,782 --> 01:11:28,944 Hi, Nick. Thea again. 1362 01:11:29,018 --> 01:11:33,384 I just wanna say that I'm so so sorry. 1363 01:11:33,453 --> 01:11:35,978 I was talking to your mother about it. 1364 01:11:36,056 --> 01:11:38,388 She and I are on the same page on this thing. 1365 01:11:38,458 --> 01:11:42,622 I would rather say extra virgin olive oil. I don't wanna abbreviate it. 1366 01:11:42,696 --> 01:11:47,191 Hi, Nick, it's me. Uh. 1367 01:11:47,268 --> 01:11:50,237 I know you haven't been interested in picking up the phone 1368 01:11:50,304 --> 01:11:54,365 But I just wanted to tell you how much I really, really... 1369 01:12:06,017 --> 01:12:07,484 Hi. 1370 01:12:07,552 --> 01:12:09,612 Hi! 1371 01:12:11,190 --> 01:12:12,623 Wow! 1372 01:12:15,327 --> 01:12:17,192 So... 1373 01:12:17,263 --> 01:12:20,256 what have you been up to? 1374 01:12:20,333 --> 01:12:23,924 Watching the Vista on an endless loop. 1375 01:12:24,000 --> 01:12:25,797 It's self-inflicted torture. 1376 01:12:25,868 --> 01:12:27,460 That sounds healthy. 1377 01:12:27,537 --> 01:12:30,404 Well, it smells like something died in here. 1378 01:12:30,473 --> 01:12:31,963 It did. 1379 01:12:32,041 --> 01:12:34,134 My soul. 1380 01:12:34,210 --> 01:12:36,805 Thea. You've gotta give yourself a tiny break. 1381 01:12:36,880 --> 01:12:38,108 People make mistakes. 1382 01:12:38,182 --> 01:12:39,615 I majorly screwed up. 1383 01:12:39,683 --> 01:12:41,776 Well, look on the bright side. 1384 01:12:41,852 --> 01:12:43,979 They're still talking about it at work. 1385 01:12:44,054 --> 01:12:45,180 How's Nick doing? 1386 01:12:45,255 --> 01:12:47,685 I don't know. He resigned. 1387 01:12:47,754 --> 01:12:49,450 What? 1388 01:12:49,523 --> 01:12:51,788 Did he say anything about what he's gonna do? 1389 01:12:51,860 --> 01:12:55,193 If you're asking me if he said he'd track you down and propose to you 1390 01:12:55,263 --> 01:12:57,629 and spend the rest of your lives together? 1391 01:12:57,699 --> 01:12:59,462 No. He wasn't specific. 1392 01:12:59,534 --> 01:13:02,298 I've been calling him and calling him. 1393 01:13:02,370 --> 01:13:04,235 And he won't call me back. 1394 01:13:04,306 --> 01:13:06,399 Yeah, well maybe that has something to do 1395 01:13:06,474 --> 01:13:10,241 with the massively twisted lie you've told him for the last few months. 1396 01:13:10,313 --> 01:13:12,247 Do you think he'll ever forgive me? 1397 01:13:14,446 --> 01:13:17,779 Do you want me to be honest or do you want me to make you feel better? 1398 01:13:17,849 --> 01:13:20,147 How are Suzie's book sales? 1399 01:13:20,219 --> 01:13:22,016 Good. 1400 01:13:22,087 --> 01:13:25,990 You know, uh, there's still a few boxes 1401 01:13:26,059 --> 01:13:28,358 that we need to distribute here and there. 1402 01:13:28,429 --> 01:13:29,691 Oh, no. 1403 01:13:41,705 --> 01:13:42,968 Sorry. 1404 01:13:43,040 --> 01:13:46,037 Hey. 1405 01:13:46,110 --> 01:13:47,407 Mind if I join you? 1406 01:13:48,980 --> 01:13:50,470 It's a free country. 1407 01:14:02,461 --> 01:14:04,448 Hm. What's in this? Mint? 1408 01:14:04,525 --> 01:14:06,083 Yup. 1409 01:14:06,161 --> 01:14:08,595 It's perfect with the pear. 1410 01:14:08,664 --> 01:14:10,461 It's so unexpected. 1411 01:14:10,532 --> 01:14:14,229 That was actually, um, my idea. I kind of just thought it would work. 1412 01:14:15,939 --> 01:14:17,668 Dad would have loved it. 1413 01:14:17,741 --> 01:14:20,369 Mom would have thought it was too fussy. 1414 01:14:20,443 --> 01:14:25,005 But she would have polished off the leftovers after everyone went to bed. 1415 01:14:30,249 --> 01:14:33,151 I'm a big fat liar and I'm sorry you got stuck with me. 1416 01:14:35,289 --> 01:14:37,985 Listen, Em. We're gonna make this work. Okay? 1417 01:14:38,058 --> 01:14:42,017 I made an appointment with the Culinary Institute to talk about student loans. 1418 01:14:42,095 --> 01:14:45,691 And I talked to Ms. Talbot about scholarships. 1419 01:14:45,767 --> 01:14:48,998 You know, Mom and Dad would have been so proud of you. 1420 01:14:49,070 --> 01:14:50,663 Thanks. 1421 01:15:02,380 --> 01:15:04,075 It needs, um... 1422 01:15:05,517 --> 01:15:07,008 I think ten more minutes. 1423 01:15:07,086 --> 01:15:08,610 I don't have ten more minutes. 1424 01:15:08,688 --> 01:15:10,451 But it's gonna be all gooey inside. 1425 01:15:10,523 --> 01:15:12,286 I'll just have to take my chances. 1426 01:15:12,358 --> 01:15:15,521 Here she comes. Here comes Claire, everybody. 1427 01:15:15,594 --> 01:15:17,824 I love you. 1428 01:15:17,897 --> 01:15:20,088 I haven't missed a show in five years. 1429 01:15:20,162 --> 01:15:22,130 Thank you. But you should get out more. 1430 01:15:22,197 --> 01:15:23,358 I'm kidding. 1431 01:15:23,433 --> 01:15:25,299 I'm Thea Clayhill, your biggest fan. 1432 01:15:25,369 --> 01:15:28,133 I made you a pineapple cake. It's your favorite, right? 1433 01:15:28,205 --> 01:15:30,298 Yes. Good reconnaissance. Good for you. 1434 01:15:30,374 --> 01:15:33,707 How did you know about the cake? 1435 01:15:33,777 --> 01:15:36,371 Her May 15th show. She said it in passing. 1436 01:15:39,416 --> 01:15:41,146 Hi. I have some books for you. 1437 01:15:41,219 --> 01:15:43,414 Oh, great. Just leave 'em right over there. 1438 01:15:43,488 --> 01:15:45,782 Okay. Keep your womb open. 1439 01:15:45,853 --> 01:15:47,377 You've got it. 1440 01:15:47,455 --> 01:15:51,016 I actually would like even more toppings on my... Hello. 1441 01:15:51,092 --> 01:15:54,425 Hey. Thea Clayhill, your number one fan with banana cream pie. 1442 01:15:54,495 --> 01:15:57,988 You do your homework. I hope it's as delicious as your pineapple cake. 1443 01:16:07,744 --> 01:16:09,901 You can hit a few more potholes next time. 1444 01:16:09,975 --> 01:16:11,272 Claire, I love you. 1445 01:16:11,343 --> 01:16:12,833 There she is. Claire. 1446 01:16:12,911 --> 01:16:15,278 There she is. My number one fan, Thea Clayhill. 1447 01:16:15,348 --> 01:16:17,282 Uh, pear ginger pie. 1448 01:16:17,350 --> 01:16:19,409 Nicely done, Betty Crocker. 1449 01:16:19,486 --> 01:16:21,716 It's actually not me, it's my little sister. 1450 01:16:21,788 --> 01:16:23,881 What's your angle besides making me a pig? 1451 01:16:23,957 --> 01:16:25,754 Wanna get your little sister on TV? 1452 01:16:25,825 --> 01:16:29,283 I really want to get this book on TV. It's really special. 1453 01:16:29,362 --> 01:16:32,491 Okay. Thank you. 1454 01:16:32,566 --> 01:16:33,931 Thanks. 1455 01:16:35,499 --> 01:16:36,659 Good luck. 1456 01:16:48,147 --> 01:16:51,444 Hi. 1457 01:16:54,153 --> 01:16:56,883 I bet I'm the last person you wanted to see right now. 1458 01:16:56,955 --> 01:17:00,356 Well, maybe not the last person. 1459 01:17:00,422 --> 01:17:03,016 Maybe the second or third to last person. 1460 01:17:03,091 --> 01:17:07,222 I wouldn't want to see my 6th grade English teacher, Ms. Posey. She was awful. 1461 01:17:07,296 --> 01:17:10,424 Or my college boyfriend. He dumped me on an answering machine. 1462 01:17:10,499 --> 01:17:13,866 Listen, Suzie. I'm really sorry, 1463 01:17:13,936 --> 01:17:17,099 I really wish I could have been the person you thought I was. 1464 01:17:17,173 --> 01:17:19,141 I just figured if I told you the truth, 1465 01:17:19,208 --> 01:17:23,306 you wouldn't want me in your life and I really enjoyed being in yours. 1466 01:17:23,381 --> 01:17:26,403 I really enjoyed being in your life, too, 1467 01:17:26,480 --> 01:17:28,505 for what it's worth. 1468 01:17:28,582 --> 01:17:30,880 Well, I've got some really good news. 1469 01:17:30,951 --> 01:17:32,111 We're gonna... 1470 01:17:32,186 --> 01:17:33,380 Ow! 1471 01:17:33,454 --> 01:17:35,115 Oh, my God, are you okay? 1472 01:17:35,189 --> 01:17:37,214 The baby's coming. 1473 01:17:37,291 --> 01:17:38,383 Right now? 1474 01:17:38,460 --> 01:17:40,087 My water broke this morning. 1475 01:17:40,161 --> 01:17:42,391 My contractions started an hour ago. Ow! 1476 01:17:42,464 --> 01:17:43,863 Where is everyone? 1477 01:17:43,932 --> 01:17:46,662 Jesse's on his way. 1478 01:17:46,734 --> 01:17:51,758 What should I do? Hot water? Towels? Let's just get in the car and go to the hospital. 1479 01:17:51,836 --> 01:17:55,135 A lot of people can help us there. I can't really do much here. 1480 01:17:55,206 --> 01:17:57,300 No, no, no. I'm fine. I'm fine. 1481 01:17:57,375 --> 01:17:59,070 My contraction ended. 1482 01:17:59,144 --> 01:18:01,079 It'll be hours before I have this baby. 1483 01:18:01,147 --> 01:18:02,580 It's already that painful? 1484 01:18:02,648 --> 01:18:05,048 You ain't seen nothin' yet. 1485 01:18:05,117 --> 01:18:08,280 It's gonna get a whole lot worse before we turn this mother out. 1486 01:18:08,354 --> 01:18:10,345 What were you saying? 1487 01:18:10,423 --> 01:18:12,187 Oh, um, the Vista wants you. 1488 01:18:13,894 --> 01:18:15,361 Are you sure this is normal? 1489 01:18:15,429 --> 01:18:19,418 Yes, it's fine. The Vista? That's amazing. When? 1490 01:18:19,496 --> 01:18:21,794 In two hours. They had a cancellation. 1491 01:18:21,865 --> 01:18:24,425 Yeah. That's not gonna work for me. 1492 01:18:27,537 --> 01:18:30,336 Hurry! We're gonna be late! 1493 01:18:34,945 --> 01:18:36,708 Hello. 1494 01:18:42,984 --> 01:18:44,383 Hi. 1495 01:18:46,188 --> 01:18:48,850 I think I'm sitting on something. Like this. 1496 01:18:48,924 --> 01:18:52,860 Hey, Em, it's me. I desperately need a favor. 1497 01:18:52,928 --> 01:18:55,590 Here you go. Don't cry. 1498 01:19:06,042 --> 01:19:07,096 Emma. 1499 01:19:07,172 --> 01:19:08,264 Hi, Nick. 1500 01:19:08,340 --> 01:19:09,568 What are you doing here? 1501 01:19:09,642 --> 01:19:11,200 I have to take you somewhere. 1502 01:19:11,277 --> 01:19:12,938 Excuse me? 1503 01:19:13,012 --> 01:19:15,139 Please, don't make me explain. 1504 01:19:15,214 --> 01:19:17,775 So if you just get your keys. We really have to go. 1505 01:19:17,851 --> 01:19:18,977 Emma. 1506 01:19:19,052 --> 01:19:20,452 Come on! 1507 01:19:20,521 --> 01:19:23,490 You're pulling our legs. Collectively. 1508 01:19:23,558 --> 01:19:26,891 We absolutely have to begin in 3 minutes. Your guy better get here. 1509 01:19:26,961 --> 01:19:28,485 I promise he'll be here. 1510 01:19:28,563 --> 01:19:30,997 He'll be here. It's gonna be great. 1511 01:19:31,065 --> 01:19:33,188 I don't know what's keeping him so long. 1512 01:19:33,263 --> 01:19:35,663 It'd be really fun to have you back again. 1513 01:19:35,732 --> 01:19:38,566 When we come back, "I'm So Over This, 1514 01:19:38,636 --> 01:19:41,503 What It's Really Like to Be Pregnant. " So stick around. 1515 01:19:42,807 --> 01:19:44,604 I need four asses in those seats now. 1516 01:19:44,676 --> 01:19:46,541 Oh, my God, Lisa. What are we gonna do? 1517 01:19:46,611 --> 01:19:47,703 You're gonna go. 1518 01:19:47,779 --> 01:19:48,871 What? 1519 01:19:48,947 --> 01:19:50,073 I don't wanna go. 1520 01:19:51,983 --> 01:19:54,452 How are you? Thank you. Loved the book. 1521 01:19:54,520 --> 01:19:58,613 Come on in. Hello, little baby. Come on up. 1522 01:19:58,688 --> 01:20:00,019 Hi. Hello. 1523 01:20:00,089 --> 01:20:03,650 Wow, Laura. What an amazing story. 1524 01:20:03,726 --> 01:20:06,889 I cannot believe that beautiful baby was born at the DMV. 1525 01:20:06,963 --> 01:20:09,898 So Thea, any kids? 1526 01:20:09,966 --> 01:20:11,958 No, never been pregnant. 1527 01:20:12,035 --> 01:20:15,266 So why another pregnancy book? Isn't the market a bit flooded? 1528 01:20:15,339 --> 01:20:17,273 Well, this one's different. 1529 01:20:17,341 --> 01:20:21,437 It's not a how-to book or a bunch of rules and recipes. 1530 01:20:21,511 --> 01:20:24,965 These stories are ultimately about the birth of a new love. 1531 01:20:25,044 --> 01:20:26,238 We're late. 1532 01:20:26,312 --> 01:20:28,247 I can't believe she booked with Vista. 1533 01:20:28,315 --> 01:20:30,806 It can be messy but in the end you're much stronger 1534 01:20:30,884 --> 01:20:32,476 for having gone through it. 1535 01:20:32,553 --> 01:20:35,819 Even if you did something you may regret. 1536 01:20:35,890 --> 01:20:39,121 And to be honest, I was just helping out. 1537 01:20:39,194 --> 01:20:43,528 You know, I shouldn't even really be sitting up here. It was Nick Steinwald 1538 01:20:43,598 --> 01:20:45,726 who's sitting in the audience right now. 1539 01:20:45,801 --> 01:20:47,735 He's responsible for the whole thing. 1540 01:20:47,803 --> 01:20:51,530 He believed in the book from the beginning and... 1541 01:20:51,603 --> 01:20:53,503 believed in me. 1542 01:20:53,572 --> 01:20:56,803 And I really can't thank him enough for that. 1543 01:21:02,048 --> 01:21:03,845 Stand up! 1544 01:21:03,916 --> 01:21:06,248 Get him a mike. 1545 01:21:09,255 --> 01:21:12,850 She sings your praises. What is about the book that appealed to you? 1546 01:21:12,925 --> 01:21:16,517 Um, well, uh... 1547 01:21:16,593 --> 01:21:20,360 I thought Suzie's book had a fresh and funny perspective on pregnancy. 1548 01:21:20,431 --> 01:21:22,456 Thea was right when she said it was a book 1549 01:21:22,533 --> 01:21:24,763 about how love can see you through anything. 1550 01:21:27,571 --> 01:21:29,266 And how... 1551 01:21:29,340 --> 01:21:31,865 if you love someone, 1552 01:21:31,942 --> 01:21:35,970 you can forgive them for all of the... 1553 01:21:36,048 --> 01:21:39,309 crazy and idiotic things they do. 1554 01:21:39,380 --> 01:21:42,440 Because love is a leap of faith. 1555 01:21:42,517 --> 01:21:45,145 And... 1556 01:21:45,219 --> 01:21:48,017 sometimes you just have to jump. 1557 01:21:48,089 --> 01:21:50,489 Don't you? 1558 01:21:52,961 --> 01:21:56,227 Wow. Okay. I'm gonna jump in here for a second 1559 01:21:56,299 --> 01:22:00,565 and, uh, thank you both so much. Again, the book is "I'm So Over This, 1560 01:22:00,637 --> 01:22:02,969 What It's Really Like to Be Pregnant. " 1561 01:22:03,039 --> 01:22:05,469 There's a link on our website, TheVista. Com 1562 01:22:05,538 --> 01:22:08,565 One last thing, Nick. Do you know how cute you are? 1563 01:22:08,642 --> 01:22:10,007 Uh, no. 1564 01:22:10,077 --> 01:22:12,011 No, he doesn't, does he? 1565 01:22:12,079 --> 01:22:15,310 Okay, thank you very much. 1566 01:22:35,033 --> 01:22:37,092 Hey. Guess what? 1567 01:22:37,168 --> 01:22:39,659 The producer said there's been over 100,000 hits 1568 01:22:39,738 --> 01:22:42,970 on the show's link to your book. Yeah. 1569 01:22:43,042 --> 01:22:44,031 That's fantastic. 1570 01:22:44,110 --> 01:22:45,270 Thanks, Claire. 1571 01:22:45,344 --> 01:22:46,743 Thank you. 1572 01:22:48,380 --> 01:22:50,041 Hey. 1573 01:22:51,417 --> 01:22:52,975 Thank you. 1574 01:22:53,052 --> 01:22:54,982 It's the least I could do. 1575 01:22:55,050 --> 01:22:58,508 I meant what I said about I can't thank you enough, 1576 01:22:58,587 --> 01:23:01,455 you know, now that it's all over. 1577 01:23:01,524 --> 01:23:02,718 What's over? 1578 01:23:03,993 --> 01:23:05,688 Working together, 1579 01:23:05,762 --> 01:23:09,254 being together, just togetherness in general. 1580 01:23:10,733 --> 01:23:12,531 It doesn't have to be. 1581 01:23:12,603 --> 01:23:15,470 We made a good book together. We can make another one. 1582 01:23:15,539 --> 01:23:17,531 Would you wanna do that? 1583 01:23:17,609 --> 01:23:19,907 Yes. Yes, I would. 1584 01:23:42,130 --> 01:23:43,791 Still feel backed up? 1585 01:23:43,865 --> 01:23:45,355 Thanks, Greg. 1586 01:23:45,433 --> 01:23:46,987 Should it freak me out 1587 01:23:47,064 --> 01:23:49,396 that he knows more about your bowels than I do? 1588 01:23:49,467 --> 01:23:51,061 Uh, maybe that's a good thing. 1589 01:23:52,872 --> 01:23:55,466 If I've been timing these right, and I'm sure I have, 1590 01:23:55,542 --> 01:23:58,602 you're up in ten, nine, eight, seven... 1591 01:23:58,678 --> 01:24:00,145 Ow! 1592 01:24:00,213 --> 01:24:02,010 Yesl Just six seconds off. 1593 01:24:02,081 --> 01:24:03,241 What I'd miss? 1594 01:24:03,316 --> 01:24:05,216 We're contracting every half hour. 1595 01:24:05,285 --> 01:24:06,878 You okay? 1596 01:24:06,954 --> 01:24:09,445 We're gonna kick this puppy out at 0900. 1597 01:24:09,523 --> 01:24:11,111 They should head out now. 1598 01:24:11,188 --> 01:24:12,678 No one's going anywhere 1599 01:24:12,756 --> 01:24:14,849 the doctor said to wait until every 15... 1600 01:24:16,326 --> 01:24:18,089 Wait. You're way off. 1601 01:24:18,161 --> 01:24:20,026 That one was not good. 1602 01:24:20,096 --> 01:24:21,961 Jesus. She's having a baby. Now! 1603 01:24:22,032 --> 01:24:23,329 What do you mean? 1604 01:24:23,400 --> 01:24:24,834 Okay. No, no, no. 1605 01:24:24,902 --> 01:24:26,665 What the hell are we going to do? 1606 01:24:26,737 --> 01:24:28,068 Move! Move! 1607 01:24:28,139 --> 01:24:30,631 My baby got ten on the APGAR scores 1608 01:24:30,709 --> 01:24:32,939 your baby's maybe like a seven or a eight. 1609 01:24:33,011 --> 01:24:35,411 If it's a boy, feel free to name him Carl. 1610 01:24:35,480 --> 01:24:37,307 I forgot. Okay. 1611 01:24:37,378 --> 01:24:38,902 Get the epidural. 1612 01:24:38,980 --> 01:24:40,972 Don't screw this up. 1613 01:24:41,888 --> 01:24:42,381 Are you ready? 1614 01:24:42,451 --> 01:24:43,251 Let's hope. 1615 01:24:43,351 --> 01:24:43,865 I Love you. 1616 01:24:43,965 --> 01:24:46,121 I love you, too. It's your fault. 1617 01:24:46,256 --> 01:24:47,213 Semper Fi. 1618 01:24:48,583 --> 01:24:50,805 Push! Oh, not yet. 114179