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www.titlovi.com
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Merry Christmas!
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00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:22,397
It's officially Christmas morning.
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00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:24,650
In New Zealand.
5
00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:28,612
Ho ho.
Hope is for the weak.
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00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:33,867
Oh. The Masked Man from his sled of bones
pulled by undead reindeer has spoken.
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00:00:33,951 --> 00:00:35,827
Our servers are holding steady
8
00:00:35,911 --> 00:00:38,413
as all the Kiwi boys
and girls play their copies
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00:00:38,497 --> 00:00:40,666
of Mythic Quest.
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00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:43,293
One time zone down, and 20 to go.
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00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,420
Now, guys�
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�we are gonna have some good old fashion,
yuletide fun! Whoo!
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00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:51,468
Whoo-hoo! Rejoice!
14
00:00:52,928 --> 00:00:56,139
- Rejoice!
- Jo. Jo, not today.
15
00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:58,267
Guys, come on.
Where's your Christmas spirits?
16
00:00:58,350 --> 00:00:59,810
At home with our families.
17
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:01,436
Yes, see... Okay... Look, I...
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00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:04,690
Guys, I know, I know it's hard to be away
from your families at Christmas.
19
00:01:04,772 --> 00:01:06,024
But we're essential workers.
20
00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:10,571
We're working today so all the kids around
the world can play their favorite game
21
00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:12,197
without our servers crashing.
22
00:01:12,281 --> 00:01:15,117
And... And yes, it involves sitting around
and waiting.
23
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But, hey, guess who else sits around
and waits to jump into action?
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- Peepers.
- No, not peepers.
25
00:01:20,205 --> 00:01:21,498
Uh, firefighters. Right?
26
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So, like firefighters, we sit and we wait,
we talk, we bond, you know,
27
00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:27,921
- we have a big pot of chili.
- There's chili?
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There's no chili.
Chili's not a festive food.
29
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It's not "Christmassy."
But we have a hot cocoa bar. Right?
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And we have a crafts table,
a lot of decorations,
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and we have a beautiful tree.
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There's someone in front of it.
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Worker! Move.
34
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O-Okay.
35
00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:43,937
Yeah, there it is!
36
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Look at that, guys, huh?
That's fun, right? Come on, guys.
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It's gonna be fun.
It's gonna be better than fun.
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Today is gonna be the best Christmas ever!
39
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Deck the halls
with the bowels of your enemies.
40
00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:27,272
Okay, we are through China.
41
00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:29,983
Servers are holding strong.
You know what that means?
42
00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:31,907
We're gonna be raffling off
another prize soon.
43
00:02:31,944 --> 00:02:35,364
Because every time we clear a time zone,
someone gets a prize.
44
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A lot of them are made in China too so,
little bit of a theme.
45
00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:40,494
No. No, no, no. No.
46
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David, can I make my holiday remarks now
or should I wait till later?
47
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What are you doing here?
48
00:02:44,623 --> 00:02:47,060
What? It's the holiday party.
I come every year. Why wouldn't I be?
49
00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:49,336
Oh, I don't know, because, uh,
you don't work here.
50
00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:52,315
You've been warned to stay off this floor.
You're technically a competitor�
51
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:55,008
Oh, well, look,
I'm not actually here here.
52
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I'm just here for Poppy.
She's just so lonely.
53
00:02:57,761 --> 00:02:59,614
She doesn't have anybody
to spend the holiday with.
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00:02:59,638 --> 00:03:01,473
Oof. So sad.
55
00:03:01,557 --> 00:03:03,016
If only she could program a friend.
56
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,540
- Oh, she's definitely tried.
- Yeah.
57
00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:06,830
Tell you what, I'll give you a 100 bucks
if you let us stay.
58
00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:09,815
No...
All right, fine. I'll take it.
59
00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:11,793
But it's only because I need money
for the party fund.
60
00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:15,028
'Cause I'm trying to give a nice Christmas
to all the employees 'cause they, uh,
61
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,780
are not getting nice Christmas bonuses.
62
00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:20,659
David, David, you can't say that word,
"Christmas." You just shouldn't say it.
63
00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:22,744
Oh, come on. Don't... Don't be a Scrooge.
64
00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:24,496
Don't bring your Scrooge energy in here.
65
00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:25,747
I'm not being a Scrooge.
66
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You... You don't wanna remind them
that they're working on a holiday.
67
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:30,937
You need to distract them from the fact
they're away from their families.
68
00:03:30,961 --> 00:03:32,897
No, see, that's exactly why
I wanna make it special.
69
00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:34,941
You know, I wanna recreate that feeling
of Christmas.
70
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You know, when you wake up as a kid
and there's snow on the ground.
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00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:40,679
And people are giving presents, and
everyone's singing, and everyone's happy.
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00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:42,806
Is that what Christmas was like
for you as a kid?
73
00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:45,100
No. No, no, no.
No, I... I grew up in Phoenix.
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It was very hot and dry, and my parents
would fight like crazy on Christmas, yeah.
75
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But I would hide out in my room
and I'd stare at a snow globe,
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and I'd imagine the perfect Christmas.
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God, that's, like, so sad.
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00:03:55,027 --> 00:03:56,629
That's some of the happiest times
of my life.
79
00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:59,448
No, that's sadder
than even Poppy trying to make a friend.
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00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:01,074
It doesn't matter. The point is�
81
00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:03,511
�you have to make this fun, you know?
The way Poppy and I used to.
82
00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:04,536
What?
83
00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:06,580
- All you two did was get everyone drunk.
- Fun.
84
00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:09,041
- We caught that couple fornicating.
- Really fun.
85
00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:11,168
- He got her pregnant.
- Less fun.
86
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,711
Look, this is my year, okay?
87
00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:15,214
I'm in charge, and we're doing it
how I wanna do it, okay?
88
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So if you stay�
89
00:04:18,634 --> 00:04:21,261
you gotta join the party.
90
00:04:21,345 --> 00:04:23,305
'Cause David Brittlesbee will not rest
91
00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:27,434
till every employee and ex-employee
is filled with the holiday spirit.
92
00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:29,353
He's watching porn.
93
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,605
Huh? What? Anthony!
94
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No! No porn.
95
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It's Christmas.
96
00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:37,397
That's exactly why
you shouldn't be watching it. Off.
97
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There should be chili.
98
00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:53,836
Merry Christmas.
99
00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:55,939
It feels good to be able
to say that again, doesn't it?
100
00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:57,803
- Mm-hmm.
- I didn't think you'd be here today.
101
00:04:57,840 --> 00:04:59,651
I thought you would've gone home
for the holidays.
102
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Did your family not invite you either?
103
00:05:01,677 --> 00:05:05,138
Uh, no.
They... They did, and I was going to,
104
00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:08,267
but, um, I decided to stay for Ian
105
00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:10,119
'cause he has no one
to celebrate Christmas with.
106
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,144
It's kinda sad.
107
00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:12,312
You're such a good person.
108
00:05:12,396 --> 00:05:13,981
No coal in your stocking this year.
109
00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:16,441
Anyway, I got you a present.
110
00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:17,985
O-Oh, for m-me?
111
00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:20,571
Of course. What kind of friend would I be
if I didn't?
112
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:21,655
It's a necklace.
113
00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:24,050
It's a piece of metal from the car
that you crushed with the tank.
114
00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:25,868
You can wear it
and always remember the day
115
00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:28,495
that we had brunch and became friends.
116
00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:30,747
- Here.
- Oh, wow, Jo, thanks.
117
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,541
It's so... Ow. It's sh... It's sharp.
118
00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:35,144
Well, you know, relationships
are supposed to be painful, right?
119
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Are they?
120
00:05:37,588 --> 00:05:38,588
Yes.
121
00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:41,091
- Oh.
- What's wrong?
122
00:05:42,301 --> 00:05:45,387
Oh no, did I do friendship wrong again?
123
00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:47,598
Stupid!
124
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:48,974
I don't know any of the rules.
125
00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:55,022
No, uh� �no. It's just,
I... I just didn't get anything for you.
126
00:05:55,731 --> 00:05:58,001
I don't understand. Do you not
celebrate Christmas in Australia?
127
00:05:58,025 --> 00:06:01,278
We do. It's just that I...
128
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,322
I didn't realize
129
00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:09,036
that y-you considered me a friend.
130
00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:12,247
Oh.
131
00:06:12,331 --> 00:06:15,667
I see. Yeah.
132
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,463
- So, you did friendship wrong.
- What?
133
00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:26,386
Oops.
134
00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:29,681
So, these are the monitors
where we track player data,
135
00:06:29,765 --> 00:06:32,935
analytics and player engagement and,
uh, spending habits...
136
00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:34,978
Is this gross?
137
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:39,024
No. This is hot. And you look cute.
138
00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:40,192
Really?
139
00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:42,778
Yeah.
You're giving ChapStick lesbian chic.
140
00:06:42,861 --> 00:06:44,581
I'm meeting your parents
for the first time.
141
00:06:44,655 --> 00:06:47,074
- It's kind of a big deal.
- Well, this is a big deal.
142
00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:48,992
You're head of monetization now.
143
00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:51,245
Hey, let's take a picture.
144
00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:54,039
- Okay.
- Say, "Merry Christmas."
145
00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:55,433
- Merry Christmas...
- Merry Christmas.
146
00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:58,126
Ah! Jesus Christ.
147
00:06:58,210 --> 00:06:59,628
It's cool. I got crop tool.
148
00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:01,588
What up, HOMIE?
149
00:07:01,672 --> 00:07:04,800
In celebration
of our first joint monetization launch,
150
00:07:04,883 --> 00:07:06,844
I brought us these.
151
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,220
A grande mochaccino.
152
00:07:08,303 --> 00:07:10,365
It's 360 calories,
in case you were worried about it.
153
00:07:10,389 --> 00:07:12,307
- I wasn't.
- Great. Me neither.
154
00:07:12,808 --> 00:07:14,393
Why are you so cheery?
155
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,896
Oh, uh, I don't know.
I just love Christmas.
156
00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:20,983
It's the one time of year when everyone
expresses their love financially.
157
00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:22,418
It's the high holy day of capitalism.
158
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,778
Mmm. Now, that's gross.
159
00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:27,239
Can we launch this feature
so that Dana and I can go?
160
00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:29,658
Because we're meeting her family
for midnight mass.
161
00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,159
Yeah. Let's make it snow.
162
00:07:31,243 --> 00:07:34,121
Introducing,
The Red Nose Reindeer Package.
163
00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:36,915
It gives players night vision
for 24 hours.
164
00:07:36,999 --> 00:07:39,251
- So cute. Yeah.
- Yeah?
165
00:07:39,334 --> 00:07:42,796
Yeah. Supes cute. And supes limited.
166
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:46,258
With only 100,000 noses produced,
oh, how the players will love it.
167
00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:47,593
- That's not cute.
- Nope.
168
00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,195
- Mmm.
- That's not how I wanted to do it.
169
00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:52,431
I wanted to make them unlimited
and sell them at a lower price point
170
00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:54,099
so that everyone could enjoy them.
171
00:07:54,183 --> 00:07:56,685
Okay, socialism on Christmas? Yuck!
172
00:07:56,768 --> 00:08:01,064
Hold on, isn't Brad your assistant?
173
00:08:01,565 --> 00:08:02,566
Huh.
174
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:04,234
No, no, no. I'm not her assistant.
175
00:08:04,318 --> 00:08:08,280
I'm assisting her
to live up to her true potential.
176
00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:11,450
Much like, you know,
Emperor Palpatine mentored Darth Vader.
177
00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:12,784
I am not Darth Vader.
178
00:08:12,868 --> 00:08:14,077
Okay, fine. Darth Maul.
179
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,472
Why are all your Star Wars references
villains?
180
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,706
They're the heroes.
181
00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:19,249
You're insane.
182
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:21,335
Okay. Look, Rache,
183
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:24,671
do you think Poppy liked
when I used Playpen to create new games?
184
00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:26,089
She yelled at me.
185
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:29,176
She told me to shove Tim Tams
up my bogan shit-maker.
186
00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:31,845
But I knew I was right.
187
00:08:31,929 --> 00:08:36,767
You know, I just...
I just saw it. Is that weird?
188
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,184
Yeah.
189
00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:39,645
No, it's hot.
190
00:08:41,313 --> 00:08:43,357
Brad, we're gonna do this my way.
191
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:47,086
And because I don't drink animal milk
and caffeine gives me a mucky belly,
192
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:50,280
I want an oat milk latte that's decaf.
And please and thank you.
193
00:08:50,948 --> 00:08:52,366
You heard the HOMIE.
194
00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:56,036
Okay, yeah. Be right back with that.
195
00:09:02,918 --> 00:09:04,711
Man, this is so depressing.
196
00:09:04,795 --> 00:09:07,422
Yeah.
What a waste of Carol not being here, huh?
197
00:09:07,506 --> 00:09:09,341
I know, right? No one getting hammered.
198
00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:11,885
No one making decisions
they're gonna regret in the morning.
199
00:09:11,969 --> 00:09:14,513
What's the point of a holiday party
if you can't do stupid shit?
200
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:16,515
Doesn't even feel like Christmas.
201
00:09:16,598 --> 00:09:17,599
Attention, guys.
202
00:09:17,683 --> 00:09:22,563
We have a very urgent message
from Santa Claus.
203
00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:27,150
He has a very special gift
he wants to give you all for Christmas.
204
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:28,277
Bonuses?
205
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:31,321
No. Something money can't buy.
206
00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:32,614
Singing!
207
00:09:32,698 --> 00:09:35,909
Yeah, we're all gonna sing together,
Christmas carols. I got a karaoke machine.
208
00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:41,123
Uh, well, it's...
209
00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:42,541
Worker! Move.
210
00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:44,543
Yeah. There it is.
211
00:09:45,294 --> 00:09:46,461
Aah! Isn't it great?
212
00:09:46,545 --> 00:09:48,130
He's gonna make these people sing?
213
00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:50,799
These freakazoids
can't even maintain eye contact.
214
00:09:50,883 --> 00:09:52,593
We are singing Christmas carols
215
00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:56,263
and posting it
on the MQ social website tomorrow
216
00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:57,973
for the entire world to see.
217
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,744
Call your parents 'cause you're gonna get
15 minutes of fame.
218
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,604
- Uh-huh.
- Oh, holy night!
219
00:10:03,687 --> 00:10:06,398
A karaoke machine?
Is that where my money went?
220
00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:07,649
Your money? What money?
221
00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:12,821
I slipped him a little bit of cash
to let us stay. To cheer you up.
222
00:10:12,905 --> 00:10:16,158
What? I bribed him to cheer you up.
223
00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:18,410
- Really?
- Yes, a hundred bucks, cash.
224
00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:20,078
Me too.
225
00:10:20,162 --> 00:10:22,414
- He swindled us.
- Ah! The little devil.
226
00:10:22,497 --> 00:10:23,415
Wait.
227
00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:24,934
Why did you think I needed cheering up?
228
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:28,712
Oh, well,
'cause your family hates you
229
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:30,005
and you have nowhere to go.
230
00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:32,466
Where did you get that from?
My family love me.
231
00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:35,427
They're just... They're in Melbourne.
It's a 16-hour flight, so�
232
00:10:35,511 --> 00:10:37,429
They went to Hawaii and didn't invite you.
233
00:10:37,513 --> 00:10:40,182
Yes. But the Airbnb had limited beds,
234
00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:42,726
and so we all... On the group chat,
uh, they s... told me...
235
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,978
There was a two-day layover in San Diego.
236
00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:47,272
Whatever.
You're spending Christmas alone too.
237
00:10:47,940 --> 00:10:49,525
Well, I don't really do family.
238
00:10:49,608 --> 00:10:52,819
Uh, more like family doesn't do you.
Ask your son.
239
00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:55,989
Oh, you know, we're just...
We're sniping at each other
240
00:10:56,073 --> 00:10:57,753
and I think it's because
it's the holidays.
241
00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,618
And also this party sucks ass.
242
00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:02,746
But the point is, we actually
did something sweet for one another.
243
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,456
Yeah, we kinda did. Aw.
244
00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:06,583
Yeah. I mean, I like you.
I want you to be happy.
245
00:11:06,667 --> 00:11:08,144
Yeah, and I just wanna look out for you.
246
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,336
That's really nice.
247
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:11,463
- We do nice.
- I think we have to agree, though,
248
00:11:11,547 --> 00:11:15,843
that the people we really need
to do something for... The employees.
249
00:11:15,926 --> 00:11:17,344
Yeah. Yeah.
250
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:21,098
Let's show these freakazoids
how to have some real fun.
251
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:22,182
Yeah.
252
00:11:22,266 --> 00:11:25,519
You keep calling them freakazoids,
but you know you're one of them, right?
253
00:11:26,937 --> 00:11:27,938
Refresh.
254
00:11:29,690 --> 00:11:31,108
Damn, look at that.
255
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:33,902
You made almost half a mil
and you did it your way.
256
00:11:33,986 --> 00:11:35,654
Refresh.
257
00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:37,364
'Cause you saw it, girl.
258
00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:39,157
Let this be a lesson,
don't doubt yourself.
259
00:11:39,241 --> 00:11:40,242
Refresh.
260
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:43,829
Oh, my God!
261
00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:47,291
Over $500,000 in two hours! I knew it!
262
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,459
You knew it! Yes.
263
00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:52,337
Oh, my God. I bet at this rate
you're gonna outearn Brad's plan
264
00:11:52,421 --> 00:11:53,630
by Christmas morning.
265
00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:55,799
- You wanna stay up all night and find out?
- Uh-huh.
266
00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:57,342
Totally.
267
00:11:57,426 --> 00:11:59,178
- Hey, girlfriend.
- Oh, hi.
268
00:11:59,261 --> 00:12:00,387
Merry Christmas.
269
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:05,475
Oh. Merry Christmas. What... What is that?
270
00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:09,563
It's a gift. From brunch. It's for you.
271
00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:11,148
Wow.
272
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:14,193
I didn't realize we were doing gifts.
273
00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:16,932
So you did friendship wrong too?
274
00:12:16,987 --> 00:12:19,781
No... No, I don't... Well, I...
275
00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:24,286
Is she gonna hurt me?
276
00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:26,705
- She scares me.
- She's really scary.
277
00:12:32,461 --> 00:12:36,131
Happy "hell-idays."
278
00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:41,428
Officially ready for caroling, guv'nor!
279
00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:44,306
Jo?
280
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:45,599
Jo, come on out. Let me see.
281
00:12:48,519 --> 00:12:51,480
Oh! You look lovely.
282
00:12:51,563 --> 00:12:53,106
I feel foolish.
283
00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:56,485
No, well, dressing up is a little foolish.
That's kind of the fun of it.
284
00:12:56,568 --> 00:12:58,695
No, I mean about thinking I had friends.
285
00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:01,406
Oh, Jo. Hey, come on.
286
00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:05,035
Forgive and forget. It's Christmas, innit?
287
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,745
You know,
today's a day to celebrate
288
00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:09,039
for all of mankind. Or womankind?
289
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,500
Everyone. Okay?
290
00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:13,544
Don't hold a grudge.
291
00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:15,587
Hold a lantern.
292
00:13:16,755 --> 00:13:17,840
Okay.
293
00:13:17,923 --> 00:13:20,008
Yes. That's the spirit, yeah!
294
00:13:20,092 --> 00:13:22,636
Now, harness your inner Judy
and smile for the camera. Perk up!
295
00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:25,097
David, I've been harnessing my inner Judy
for quite a while.
296
00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:27,242
I take Adderall in the morning
to boost productivity,
297
00:13:27,266 --> 00:13:30,394
a beta-blocker when my body stresses out,
an Ativan when my brain stresses out
298
00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:33,717
and then instead of barbiturates, I smash
my head against a wall until I pass out.
299
00:13:36,024 --> 00:13:38,184
That's great. Yeah.
Now, just do all that with a smile.
300
00:13:39,528 --> 00:13:41,822
Great.
301
00:13:42,406 --> 00:13:45,158
Okay, okay! Who's ready to sing?
302
00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:49,288
Where the hell is everybody?
303
00:14:02,176 --> 00:14:04,219
Hey! Hey! Come on.
304
00:14:04,303 --> 00:14:05,637
A place of business, guys.
305
00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:15,272
Anthony! What the hell is going on?
306
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:16,732
Game jam.
307
00:14:17,399 --> 00:14:21,028
We're making mini-games
using Poppy's tool set. It's rad.
308
00:14:21,111 --> 00:14:23,739
Well, hey, man, it's...
It's rad upstairs! You know?
309
00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:25,742
I mean, we're...
We're gonna sing Christmas carols
310
00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:27,702
and... and we're giving away
a lot of cool prizes.
311
00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:29,953
Poppy and Ian are giving away a Porsche.
312
00:14:30,037 --> 00:14:31,163
What?
313
00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:34,958
How did they even get that in here?
314
00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:37,162
Attention, ladies and gentlemen,
gentlemen and ladies.
315
00:14:37,211 --> 00:14:40,756
In just a few minutes, we're going to be
raffling away Poppy's Porsche!
316
00:14:43,509 --> 00:14:45,636
And also, it's never been driven!
317
00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:48,347
Which is absolutely astonishing.
Totally wasted on her.
318
00:14:48,430 --> 00:14:51,183
- But at least it will go to somebody�
- Hey, guys... guys, really?
319
00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:52,518
�who appreciates it.
320
00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:54,770
Hey! What is this?
321
00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:58,148
- Fun! Right?
- Uh, yeah, this would be considered fun.
322
00:14:58,232 --> 00:15:01,777
No. No, this is not fun.
This? This is an orgy.
323
00:15:02,319 --> 00:15:04,988
Look... Guys, please. Can you, you know...
324
00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:06,490
It's a workplace, I'm sorry.
325
00:15:07,032 --> 00:15:09,076
Bud, I don't know
how many orgies you've been to,
326
00:15:09,159 --> 00:15:11,078
but this is definitely not an orgy vibe.
327
00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:13,163
So not orgy.
328
00:15:13,247 --> 00:15:14,748
Yeah. You've never had sex.
329
00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:16,667
Guys, this was supposed
to be my Christmas.
330
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,430
But you couldn't let me have it,
could you?
331
00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:21,105
- You had to do it your way.
- No, David. We're not doing this for us.
332
00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:22,965
- We're doing it for them.
- The freakazoids.
333
00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:24,359
- Stop calling them freakazoids.
- Why?
334
00:15:24,383 --> 00:15:26,236
- I don't know what a freakazoid is.
- You know.
335
00:15:26,260 --> 00:15:30,013
- Look, that, these ones, th... Over there.
- These people all look exactly like you.
336
00:15:30,097 --> 00:15:32,057
I had a whole thing planned, you know?
337
00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:34,911
We were gonna wear Victorian outfits.
We were gonna sing Christmas carols.
338
00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:36,728
It was gonna be
like a white Christmas theme.
339
00:15:36,812 --> 00:15:39,372
We were gonna connect everyone together.
It was gonna be special.
340
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:42,234
Yeah. But, Dave, nobody wanted to do that.
341
00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:43,569
I wanted to do it.
342
00:15:44,486 --> 00:15:46,071
But you know what? Whatever.
343
00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:49,491
You say you're doing it for other people,
but you guys are doing it for yourselves.
344
00:15:49,575 --> 00:15:50,701
Like you always do.
345
00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:53,287
So, great. Fine.
346
00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:55,348
Wait, wait, wait.
Well, hol... David. Don't be like that.
347
00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:57,291
Attention, everybody! Guys?
348
00:15:57,374 --> 00:15:59,751
Christmas is canceled!
349
00:16:02,504 --> 00:16:05,299
- No, it... it's not a good thing!
- I don't think they can hear you.
350
00:16:05,382 --> 00:16:08,802
I think they can and they
were celebrating him saying that. Um...
351
00:16:09,303 --> 00:16:12,139
Christmas is canceled. Stop the music.
352
00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:14,558
No more fun. Everyone back to work.
353
00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:15,976
Aw!
354
00:16:16,685 --> 00:16:18,437
- Come on, Dave...
- Bah humbug.
355
00:16:18,937 --> 00:16:20,564
David, we just...
356
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:22,691
I said, "bah humbug."
357
00:16:24,610 --> 00:16:25,861
Move. Back to work.
358
00:16:36,246 --> 00:16:37,831
- Hello.
- Hello.
359
00:16:39,208 --> 00:16:41,210
I've subjugated myself
to a nitwit.
360
00:16:41,293 --> 00:16:43,712
I offered my friendship to unworthy women.
361
00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:45,797
I allowed myself to be debased.
362
00:16:45,881 --> 00:16:48,842
I made myself vulnerable
and was humiliated.
363
00:16:52,888 --> 00:16:54,264
We've made mistakes.
364
00:16:54,348 --> 00:16:58,560
We'll learn from them.
The pain is knowledge.
365
00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:01,146
- It will make us stronger.
- Yes.
366
00:17:01,230 --> 00:17:03,398
Merry Christmas.
367
00:17:03,482 --> 00:17:04,483
Merry Christmas.
368
00:17:04,566 --> 00:17:05,817
Yo!
369
00:17:05,901 --> 00:17:06,902
Hi, Brad.
370
00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:09,320
Just a little update here.
I wanted to let you know
371
00:17:09,404 --> 00:17:13,659
that I just made us
a million dollars my way, baby.
372
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,827
Sorry?
373
00:17:15,911 --> 00:17:18,497
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Did you... Did you not hear me? Um�
374
00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:25,087
I just made us a million dollars!
That's right,
375
00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:30,175
the dirty socialist just made this company
one million buckaroos!
376
00:17:30,259 --> 00:17:34,847
So stick that in your pipe and smoke...
377
00:17:37,307 --> 00:17:40,185
So the company gets a Christmas bonus,
but we don't?
378
00:17:41,395 --> 00:17:45,190
No bonuses, no chili.
379
00:17:46,108 --> 00:17:48,902
I'm very sorry, David. I'm very...
380
00:17:52,364 --> 00:17:54,491
Take all this crap down. Take it all down!
381
00:17:56,785 --> 00:17:59,329
And this too. Stupid tree.
382
00:18:00,289 --> 00:18:01,623
Socialist.
383
00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:04,376
Everybody back to work.
384
00:18:05,294 --> 00:18:06,587
No more Christmas!
385
00:18:07,546 --> 00:18:09,381
- Hmm�
- And no unionizing!
386
00:18:10,883 --> 00:18:11,884
Merry Christmas.
387
00:18:20,976 --> 00:18:25,439
Oof. This is bleak.
388
00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:26,522
David, it's us!
389
00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:30,819
- It's locked.
- Oh, really? Okay.
390
00:18:30,903 --> 00:18:34,198
- Step aside, I'm just gonna kick it in.
- Wha... You're gonna bust the door down?
391
00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:36,551
Yeah. What do you want me to do?
Suppress a primal instinct?
392
00:18:36,575 --> 00:18:38,052
- I...
- In fact, I'm gonna donkey kick it.
393
00:18:38,076 --> 00:18:40,204
- No, do not donkey kick anything!
- Back up.
394
00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:41,288
What do you want?
395
00:18:41,371 --> 00:18:43,291
Oh. Hey, Jo, let us in.
We need to talk to David.
396
00:18:43,332 --> 00:18:45,209
Yeah, we want to apologize.
397
00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:49,004
Sorry, this room is for friends only.
And neither of you are friends of David's.
398
00:18:49,588 --> 00:18:50,690
You're not my friend either.
399
00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:52,794
You're just some woman with BO
I went to brunch with.
400
00:18:52,841 --> 00:18:56,553
What do you want me to do with them?
401
00:18:57,387 --> 00:19:00,349
Tell them I'm working. Like any other day.
402
00:19:00,432 --> 00:19:03,018
- Dave... Can we just talk to you, bud?
- We just wanna talk.
403
00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:05,395
David says,
"Stick your dick in a blender."
404
00:19:06,522 --> 00:19:08,249
- He very clearly did not say that.
- I don't...
405
00:19:08,273 --> 00:19:10,234
- We can hear him.
- He's right there, we...
406
00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:12,361
- Yeah.
- Stick your dick in a blender.
407
00:19:12,444 --> 00:19:14,071
Just go stick your dicks in blenders.
408
00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:16,031
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas, Dave.
409
00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:26,250
- I kinda think we messed this up.
- Yeah.
410
00:19:28,085 --> 00:19:29,837
No wonder our families hate us.
411
00:19:31,505 --> 00:19:34,049
Well, again,
mine is more of a scheduling issue...
412
00:19:34,132 --> 00:19:35,759
I know, Pop. I know.
413
00:19:54,444 --> 00:19:58,615
Oh, my God. I feel so bad.
Everyone is so mad at me.
414
00:19:58,699 --> 00:20:00,492
Can you please help me fix this?
415
00:20:00,576 --> 00:20:04,162
Oh, so now you need my help?
How delicious.
416
00:20:04,705 --> 00:20:06,505
Not as delicious
as the two mochaccinos I had.
417
00:20:06,582 --> 00:20:07,833
You drank both of those?
418
00:20:07,916 --> 00:20:10,878
- It was 720 calories.
- Okay, can we focus please?
419
00:20:10,961 --> 00:20:13,422
Will you just help me make everyone happy?
420
00:20:14,631 --> 00:20:15,632
Stop that.
421
00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:19,845
If you wanna be good at this job,
stop trying to make people happy
422
00:20:19,928 --> 00:20:21,430
and start trying to make money.
423
00:20:22,014 --> 00:20:23,724
Palpatine's got a point.
424
00:20:23,807 --> 00:20:25,017
What?
425
00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:26,560
It's human nature.
426
00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:29,396
Sometimes when people feel
you're trying too hard to please them,
427
00:20:29,479 --> 00:20:32,024
it might seem off-putting.
428
00:20:32,107 --> 00:20:34,401
- Annoying.
- We're trying not to use the A-word.
429
00:20:34,484 --> 00:20:36,653
- We're not using the A-word, Brad.
- Okay, fine.
430
00:20:36,737 --> 00:20:40,115
The point is, you gotta cut that shit out
if you're gonna work under me.
431
00:20:40,199 --> 00:20:42,201
No. Over me?
432
00:20:42,868 --> 00:20:44,578
Wait, no.
433
00:20:44,661 --> 00:20:47,414
You gotta cut that shit out
if we're gonna work together.
434
00:20:47,497 --> 00:20:50,167
Okay. Great. Fine.
I will work on that tomorrow.
435
00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:52,294
But can you just fix it now?
436
00:20:52,377 --> 00:20:53,378
For Christmas?
437
00:20:55,172 --> 00:20:58,342
I might have an idea
that's a little bit capitalist
438
00:20:58,425 --> 00:20:59,927
and a little bit socialist.
439
00:21:00,010 --> 00:21:01,261
I'm not sure it's gonna work.
440
00:21:01,345 --> 00:21:04,139
- Might take some time.
- That's fine. We have all night.
441
00:21:04,223 --> 00:21:06,475
Dana, text your family.
I will get us coffees.
442
00:21:09,978 --> 00:21:13,148
You know, if she's Vader,
and I'm Palpatine, that makes you...
443
00:21:13,232 --> 00:21:16,860
I'm Yoda, bitch.
444
00:21:20,155 --> 00:21:23,325
David. David.
445
00:21:25,661 --> 00:21:28,664
David, wake up, wake up.
It's Christmas morning.
446
00:21:29,748 --> 00:21:31,291
It is? Where?
447
00:21:31,875 --> 00:21:33,293
Here.
448
00:21:46,682 --> 00:21:47,683
What the�
449
00:21:52,646 --> 00:21:54,898
Hey. Merry Christmas, David!
450
00:21:54,982 --> 00:21:56,108
Merry Christmas!
451
00:21:56,191 --> 00:21:58,026
We wanted you to have a proper Christmas.
452
00:21:58,110 --> 00:22:00,863
- Do you like it?
- It's incredible. How did you do all this?
453
00:22:00,946 --> 00:22:04,074
Oh, it was super easy. We just forced
the art department to come in,
454
00:22:04,157 --> 00:22:05,450
and they just whipped it up.
455
00:22:05,534 --> 00:22:07,160
They were super happy to help out.
456
00:22:07,244 --> 00:22:09,788
Everyone was,
thanks to the generous Christmas bonus
457
00:22:09,872 --> 00:22:10,956
that you gave them.
458
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,626
- The bon... The bonus?
- Yeah. Thanks, David!
459
00:22:14,710 --> 00:22:15,711
Thanks, David!
460
00:22:15,794 --> 00:22:17,754
And there's chili!
461
00:22:18,964 --> 00:22:20,090
Chili!
462
00:22:20,174 --> 00:22:21,341
Yay!
463
00:22:21,425 --> 00:22:23,185
We had the art department
make the chili too.
464
00:22:23,260 --> 00:22:25,888
Jesus Christ. What is it with the chili?
465
00:22:30,017 --> 00:22:31,143
Hey, Jo.
466
00:22:31,226 --> 00:22:35,731
Um, we have something for you.
A bonus bonus.
467
00:22:36,607 --> 00:22:37,608
What is it?
468
00:22:37,691 --> 00:22:42,654
- It's your very own game!
- Ga... Video game.
469
00:22:44,448 --> 00:22:45,741
- Brunch Crushers?
- Yeah.
470
00:22:45,824 --> 00:22:48,285
Uh, Poppy made it with her Playpen tools.
471
00:22:48,368 --> 00:22:51,663
You, um, crush brunching women in a tank.
472
00:23:02,799 --> 00:23:05,427
It's simple and stupid,
and you... you probably don't...
473
00:23:06,678 --> 00:23:08,555
- Oh!
- Oh! Oh.
474
00:23:08,639 --> 00:23:09,723
It's beautiful.
475
00:23:10,432 --> 00:23:13,101
- Good.
- We should get brunch every week.
476
00:23:14,186 --> 00:23:16,146
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah... Yeah.
477
00:23:16,230 --> 00:23:17,731
We should go on vacation together.
478
00:23:17,814 --> 00:23:20,943
- A trip is...
- That's a big commitment for friends.
479
00:23:21,026 --> 00:23:24,112
- We... But th... One day�
- It's... Yeah.
480
00:23:24,196 --> 00:23:26,573
You know, we might�
This is a long hug. Uh�
481
00:23:26,657 --> 00:23:30,244
On Slasher,
on Smasher, on Basher and Sick One.
482
00:23:30,327 --> 00:23:35,040
Scary Christmas to all,
and to all a good fright.
483
00:23:35,123 --> 00:23:37,876
That's it, everybody!
It's officially Christmas morning!
484
00:23:41,964 --> 00:23:44,633
So, what do you think, bud?
485
00:23:45,133 --> 00:23:48,804
Uh, the best Christmas ever.
486
00:23:48,887 --> 00:23:50,514
It's about to get a whole lot better.
487
00:23:54,476 --> 00:23:56,854
What the hell?
488
00:24:00,774 --> 00:24:02,526
It's sick!
489
00:24:02,609 --> 00:24:03,944
Oh, my God!
490
00:24:04,528 --> 00:24:07,406
Oh, it's, uh...
It's time for the... the sing-along!
491
00:24:07,489 --> 00:24:10,367
Oh, that's okay. Yeah, we would've
had to record the video already.
492
00:24:10,450 --> 00:24:12,494
- We'll do it live!
- Look, we're streaming.
493
00:24:12,995 --> 00:24:14,371
- Ready. Three�
- What?
494
00:24:14,454 --> 00:24:16,206
�two, one!
495
00:24:16,290 --> 00:24:20,878
d Christmas, Christmas time is near d
496
00:24:20,961 --> 00:24:25,841
d Time for toys and time for cheer d
497
00:24:25,924 --> 00:24:30,554
d We've been good, but we can't last d
498
00:24:30,637 --> 00:24:35,309
d Hurry, Christmas, hurry fast d
499
00:24:35,392 --> 00:24:39,438
d Want a plane that loops the loop d
500
00:24:40,022 --> 00:24:44,693
d Me, I want a Hula-Hoop d
501
00:24:44,776 --> 00:24:49,031
d We can hardly stand the wait d
502
00:24:49,114 --> 00:24:53,619
d Please, Christmas, don't be late d
503
00:24:57,164 --> 00:24:58,749
What is this?
504
00:24:58,832 --> 00:25:02,377
- Can we breathe this in, David?
- Hey, Phil. Turn off the snow...
505
00:25:02,461 --> 00:25:06,048
- Where did you get all the snow?
- Is it poison?
506
00:25:06,131 --> 00:25:08,675
- I feel faint.
- So bad for your lungs.
507
00:25:11,675 --> 00:25:15,675
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