All language subtitles for Malcolm in the Middle (2000) - S03E01 - Houseboat (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 Silence)-eng

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,543 --> 00:00:04,045 Oh, you could fry an egg on my forehead. 2 00:00:04,087 --> 00:00:05,046 If you're getting up, 3 00:00:05,088 --> 00:00:06,966 would you get me another lemonade? 4 00:00:13,472 --> 00:00:14,974 Ready? 5 00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:18,310 (all sighing) 6 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:21,229 Stevie's house has air conditioning. 7 00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:23,106 Let's get some more. 8 00:00:24,817 --> 00:00:28,153 ♪ Yes, no, maybe ♪ 9 00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:30,906 ♪ I don't know ♪ 10 00:00:30,948 --> 00:00:34,075 ♪ Can you repeat the question? ♪ 11 00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:36,244 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 12 00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:38,372 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 13 00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:40,374 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 14 00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:43,126 ♪ And you're not so big ♪ 15 00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:45,379 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 16 00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:47,589 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 17 00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:49,800 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 18 00:00:49,842 --> 00:00:53,094 ♪ And you're not so big ♪ 19 00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:57,641 ♪ Life is unfair. ♪ 20 00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:04,899 We're not renting the fanciest place on the Big Island, but, you know, 21 00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:07,401 at least I'll have a place to work on my cliff diving. 22 00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:08,569 Wow. 23 00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:10,487 We're actually sharing a houseboat 24 00:01:10,529 --> 00:01:13,114 with Stevie's family on a man- made lake by the power plant. 25 00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:15,534 I don't want to meet the girl that would impress. 26 00:01:16,827 --> 00:01:18,579 Do not touch! 27 00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:20,789 I'm not. 28 00:01:21,832 --> 00:01:23,542 Hal. Let me see your bathing suit. 29 00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,168 No. All these ones you picked out 30 00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:26,545 are too big and baggy. 31 00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:27,713 Baggy is good. 32 00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:29,798 It's less surface area I have to shave. 33 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:31,132 I like the little one. 34 00:01:31,174 --> 00:01:33,134 No, Hal, you always pop out of the little ones. 35 00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:34,219 I do not pop out. 36 00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:35,596 That was one time. 37 00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:37,347 Hal, the Kenarbans are conservative people. 38 00:01:37,389 --> 00:01:39,975 We're going to be in very close quarters with them. 39 00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:41,142 Now, you get the baggy ones. 40 00:01:41,184 --> 00:01:42,603 Let me just show you something. 41 00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:45,188 It better not be that suit in the egg. 42 00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:47,816 Don't say anything until you see it. 43 00:01:47,858 --> 00:01:49,944 MAN: Oh, whoa! 44 00:01:49,985 --> 00:01:51,820 Dewey. 45 00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:57,158 Can I see that spear gun? 46 00:01:58,452 --> 00:01:59,912 Sure. 47 00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:10,171 Now, don't tell me this doesn't do something for you. 48 00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:11,632 (gasps) 49 00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:13,174 Oh, I-I'm sorry. 50 00:02:13,216 --> 00:02:15,552 I thought you were my wife. 51 00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:18,847 My wife has the exact same shape... 52 00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:20,057 (gasps) 53 00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:22,476 (gasps) 54 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,395 (gasps) 55 00:02:25,437 --> 00:02:28,983 So, maybe when I get back, you know, if you wanted... 56 00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:30,776 Maybe I can give you a call. 57 00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:32,444 Maybe. 58 00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:37,198 (laughs): Whoa. Look at that guy. 59 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,660 Psst. Psst. 60 00:02:39,701 --> 00:02:41,120 Do you know him? 61 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,997 Who? That nutcase? 62 00:02:43,038 --> 00:02:44,205 Of course not. 63 00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:46,834 You want to help me choose a surfboard? 64 00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:47,793 Okay. 65 00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:48,919 Malcolm! 66 00:02:48,961 --> 00:02:51,421 Oh, for the love of... 67 00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:53,757 Excuse me. 68 00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:58,219 Oh! God, it's not me-- it's the suit. 69 00:02:58,261 --> 00:02:59,721 I am a normal person! 70 00:02:59,763 --> 00:03:01,098 I'm here with my family. 71 00:03:01,140 --> 00:03:02,933 My son is right over... Malcolm! 72 00:03:02,975 --> 00:03:04,225 Come with me. No, no, no. 73 00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:06,103 I know how this looks, but I'm telling you... 74 00:03:06,145 --> 00:03:07,228 Malcolm! 75 00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:08,605 Wait, no, no, no. 76 00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:11,274 This is a complete misunderstanding. 77 00:03:15,154 --> 00:03:16,321 Dude, where were you? 78 00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:18,490 If Spangler finds out you blew off drill practice, 79 00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:19,658 he's going to kill you. 80 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:22,410 I'm not afraid of Spangler anymore. 81 00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:24,038 Why aren't you in uniform? 82 00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:26,999 I'm leaving. I'm out of here. 83 00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:31,336 You can't just leave. Yes. 84 00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:32,921 I can. I just turned 18. 85 00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:35,716 I'm legally an adult and no one can tell me what to do. 86 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:37,634 I'm getting the hell out of here. 87 00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:39,970 You're not going to graduate? Nope. 88 00:03:40,012 --> 00:03:42,263 I'm going to Alaska. 89 00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:43,891 Francis, it's crazy up there. 90 00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:48,645 You can make $45 an hour working on oil rigs or logging camps, 91 00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:51,314 and you don't even need a diploma. 92 00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:53,984 Wait, $45 an hour? 93 00:03:54,026 --> 00:03:55,986 That's with room and board. 94 00:03:56,028 --> 00:04:00,991 You work a couple of years, and you're set for life. 95 00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:06,914 Something to remember me by. 96 00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:12,794 Do you realize how close your father came 97 00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:16,297 to being a registered sex offender?! 98 00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:18,299 A registered sex offender! 99 00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:21,678 And for what? For some trampy girl? For... 100 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,513 Mom, please! I feel terrible. 101 00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:25,724 I completely understand what I did. 102 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:28,018 I sold out my own father for a girl. 103 00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:29,394 It's, like, the worst thing I've ever done. 104 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:32,355 We both agree, I'm a terrible person. 105 00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:34,315 For some girl you don't even know! 106 00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:36,317 Who wouldn't give you the time of day! 107 00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:38,904 That's the gratitude you showed your father. 108 00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:41,240 Hey, maybe I'm the good one after all. 109 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,490 Here, Mom, for your throat. 110 00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:44,325 I put a little honey in it. 111 00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:45,326 That man gets 112 00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:46,620 one vacation a year, 113 00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:49,330 and this is how you start it. (phone ringing) 114 00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:51,541 You go and make it right! 115 00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:54,335 Hello. 116 00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:55,796 Dad's probably not that mad at me. 117 00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:57,422 I mean, it's not like I personally 118 00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:59,800 shoved him in the squad car, right? 119 00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:04,846 Dad, can I talk to you? 120 00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:06,556 Uh, no, not right now. I'm kind of busy. 121 00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:08,809 Reese, can you come in here and help me with something? 122 00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:10,060 Oh, sure, Dad. 123 00:05:10,102 --> 00:05:11,436 I love to be helpful 124 00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:13,188 Close the door. 125 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:18,359 Absolutely not, Francis! 126 00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:20,070 Mom, you're not listening. 127 00:05:20,112 --> 00:05:22,530 I can make $45 an hour. 128 00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:24,158 That's more than you or Dad makes. 129 00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:27,577 You are going to graduate from high school. 130 00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:28,662 Why spend the tuition? 131 00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:30,371 It's a total waste of money. 132 00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:31,832 We both know I'm failing. 133 00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:34,251 Okay, now we both know. 134 00:05:34,293 --> 00:05:37,462 Francis, you are going to stay in school until you graduate, 135 00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:40,299 and that's all there is to it, and if you flunk out, 136 00:05:40,339 --> 00:05:43,302 then that's just another year you're stuck there! 137 00:05:43,342 --> 00:05:44,385 You just can't stand the fact 138 00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:46,680 that I'll be making more money than you! 139 00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:49,474 (screams) 140 00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:59,026 Whoa, that was close. 141 00:06:06,325 --> 00:06:09,703 KITTY: Oh, look at all this lovely scenery and nature. 142 00:06:09,744 --> 00:06:12,413 This is going to be wonderful. 143 00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:15,125 Dear, did you pack my hat? 144 00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:16,251 Oh, I'm sorry, honey. 145 00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:17,919 You should have asked me to. 146 00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:18,920 No problem. 147 00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:22,423 I'll just create one out of newspaper. 148 00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:23,633 Everything okay? 149 00:06:23,675 --> 00:06:26,678 Everything's wonderful. We're on vacation. 150 00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:30,807 The whole drive up here, Dad wouldn't even look at me. 151 00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:33,810 I just wish I could take those two minutes back. 152 00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:36,730 That's the King of the Seas? 153 00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:38,732 (shrieks) 154 00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:41,943 There's no TV! There's no TV! There's no TV! 155 00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:43,444 There's no TV! 156 00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:47,282 (chuckles) There's your TV. 157 00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:49,450 I don't see any TV. 158 00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:51,036 Excuse me. 159 00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,287 Okay. 160 00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:55,123 Dad, I'll help you with that. 161 00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,709 No, no. I've got it. 162 00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,044 Dad. 163 00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:00,379 Please, wait. 164 00:07:00,419 --> 00:07:01,546 Come on. 165 00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:03,464 Talk to me, please. 166 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,385 Okay, fine. 167 00:07:06,425 --> 00:07:07,468 (laughs) 168 00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:09,554 I wanted to wait until this afternoon, 169 00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,306 but what the heck. 170 00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:13,600 Check this out. 171 00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:16,353 It's a Cavanaugh. 172 00:07:16,395 --> 00:07:17,562 You remember last year 173 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:19,480 you saw a picture in a magazine 174 00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:21,191 of a father and a son fishing together 175 00:07:21,233 --> 00:07:24,485 and you said, "Oh, I'd like to try that sometime"? 176 00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:25,737 Yeah? 177 00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,655 Yeah, well, I just kept looking at that picture 178 00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:29,950 and I was thinking about you and me 179 00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:32,535 and I... started putting a little money away, 180 00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:35,496 and, you know, I just... 181 00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:37,416 I got this for you. 182 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:41,502 Oh, man, you wouldn't believe how hard this week has been. 183 00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:42,921 Every time that I looked at you, 184 00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,756 I wanted to spill the beans, but... 185 00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:47,342 This is why you wouldn't talk to me? 186 00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:48,593 We'll take the dinghy out 187 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:51,512 and we'll do some fishing, just the two of us. 188 00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:53,223 Great. 189 00:07:53,265 --> 00:07:55,350 See you on board, Skipper. 190 00:07:57,436 --> 00:08:00,355 Hey, guess who's still the good one. 191 00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:13,452 Do... (gasps) 192 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,411 you... (gasps) 193 00:08:14,453 --> 00:08:15,662 I see it, too. 194 00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:20,750 Hey, boys, what are you doing? 195 00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:24,254 I don't know-- what are you doing? 196 00:08:24,296 --> 00:08:25,839 (giggling) 197 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:28,258 Where'd you get the boat? 198 00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:30,551 We stole it from our spirit camp. 199 00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:32,929 We're going to get cigarettes. 200 00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:34,222 Spirit camp? 201 00:08:34,264 --> 00:08:36,557 So you girls are...? 202 00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:37,558 Cheerleaders. 203 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,936 Bad... (gasps) 204 00:08:39,978 --> 00:08:41,271 cheerleaders. 205 00:08:41,313 --> 00:08:44,565 Yeah. We haven't seen any boys in, like, six weeks. 206 00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:47,568 Even you guys are starting to look good. 207 00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:48,820 (giggling) 208 00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:51,239 Tammy! 209 00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:57,245 Wait. Where are you guys going? 210 00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:59,331 Follow us and find out. 211 00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:06,963 Get... (gasps) 212 00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:08,423 the boat! 213 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,427 Ready to go fishing, son? 214 00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:14,012 Now? Sure. 215 00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:17,598 We're catching everyone's dinner. 216 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,393 Now, don't you take this personally, all right? 217 00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:20,601 This is a special thing 218 00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:22,603 with Malcolm and me, just this one time. 219 00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:25,690 Too bad you can't come with us. 220 00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:28,026 Too bad we're taking the boat. 221 00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:41,039 Oh. Oh... 222 00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,790 Nope. 223 00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:44,125 At least Reese and Stevie 224 00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:46,836 are as bored and miserable as I am. 225 00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:50,465 Remember... 226 00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:51,925 to call me... 227 00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:53,843 Snoop. 228 00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:02,643 (yelling) 229 00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:05,146 (all cheering) 230 00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:16,283 (yelling like Tarzan) 231 00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:32,673 (sighs) This is great-- 232 00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,884 to just relax with adults. 233 00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:38,597 "Suffocate." 234 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:41,308 Good for you, Abe. 235 00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:47,730 "Crybaby." 236 00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:49,608 I believe that's two words, dear. 237 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:53,111 Okay, then... just "baby." 238 00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:57,282 I heard what happened, cadet. 239 00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:59,700 My, my, my, all that splintered wood and broken glass. 240 00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:01,536 (clicks tongue) 241 00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:03,704 I brought you something. 242 00:11:03,746 --> 00:11:05,123 What's that? 243 00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:06,707 A hammer, cadet. 244 00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:08,918 I expect you to repair the trophy case. 245 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,129 You'll find lumber in the common room. 246 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,922 I have a nine-inch gash in my leg. 247 00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:16,717 Hmm, that's quite a handicap. 248 00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:17,718 Cadet, 249 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,720 you damaged school property 250 00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:22,723 and you are the one responsible for repairing it. 251 00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:25,726 Consider it a character building lesson. 252 00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:27,312 I didn't damage anything. 253 00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,729 That was negligence. 254 00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:31,316 The phone was improperly connected to the wall. 255 00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:32,567 That is totally unfair! 256 00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:35,236 I decide what's fair around here. 257 00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:38,031 But, wait, maybe I've been hasty. 258 00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:41,201 No, now that I've reconsidered, the decision stands. 259 00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:43,744 You will fix the damage by the end of the week. 260 00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:45,497 That is all, cadet. 261 00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:48,667 (grunts) 262 00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:51,752 Dewey, you have to let go of the rope. 263 00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:53,129 You're all sunburned. 264 00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:54,047 No. 265 00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:54,922 Just let go. 266 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:57,634 It's going to be dark soon. 267 00:11:57,676 --> 00:11:58,426 I can't. 268 00:11:58,468 --> 00:11:59,469 Yes, you can. 269 00:11:59,511 --> 00:12:01,179 Just open your fingers. 270 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:02,389 But I'll fall. 271 00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:03,557 That's the point. 272 00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:04,765 Dewey, just don't think. 273 00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:06,560 Just do it, just let go. 274 00:12:06,601 --> 00:12:08,645 No! Oh, for crying out loud. 275 00:12:08,687 --> 00:12:12,607 You let go of that rope, and you come in for dinner! 276 00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:14,651 Come on, honey. 277 00:12:14,693 --> 00:12:15,860 No... ow! 278 00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:18,154 Come on, honey, I'm making French fries. 279 00:12:18,196 --> 00:12:19,698 Ow! 280 00:12:19,738 --> 00:12:20,781 Your favorite-- ice cream. 281 00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:22,783 You know you love ice cream. 282 00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:26,079 HAL: And it was wriggling and fighting me. 283 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:27,788 But finally I got it on the hook. 284 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,165 That was one hell of a worm. 285 00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:31,792 Thought for sure I'd catch something with it. 286 00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:34,212 Oh, Dewey, would you pass the salt, please? 287 00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:38,508 Where'd you get that shiner? 288 00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:40,051 Mom. 289 00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:42,095 It was horrible. 290 00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:44,805 We were stuck out there for hours. 291 00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:46,433 It was so boring. 292 00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:51,312 What are you smiling about? 293 00:12:51,354 --> 00:12:52,855 I like these potatoes. 294 00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:54,441 (both laugh) 295 00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:56,067 You guys went to the camp? 296 00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,069 Oh, man, what was it like? 297 00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:00,988 Imagine a hundred fat guys falling down stairs, 298 00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:02,490 knocking over old ladies. 299 00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:05,744 Multiply that by ten, and you're not even close. 300 00:13:05,784 --> 00:13:06,827 STEVIE: Until today... 301 00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:10,457 I'd have traded... 302 00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:14,669 my life... for anybody's. 303 00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:20,550 No way. It's Mom's. 304 00:13:20,592 --> 00:13:22,552 If it were Mom's... 305 00:13:22,594 --> 00:13:24,554 would I do this? 306 00:13:24,596 --> 00:13:26,306 (sniffing) 307 00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:27,848 (sighs) 308 00:13:28,807 --> 00:13:31,852 That was delicious. 309 00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:36,023 I am so sorry about Abe. 310 00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:37,066 What do you mean? 311 00:13:37,108 --> 00:13:38,859 Oh, you're sweet to pretend, 312 00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:41,362 but I know he is ruining everyone's vacation 313 00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:44,240 with his pouting and his sarcastic little digs. 314 00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:46,867 Well, if it's bothering you, you should talk to him. 315 00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:47,868 (sighs) 316 00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:50,871 Sure is a beautiful night. 317 00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:52,290 You're right. 318 00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,917 Anything is better than this. 319 00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:56,877 Malcolm, better hit the hay. 320 00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:59,880 We're getting up pretty early tomorrow. 321 00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:01,591 Nighty... night. 322 00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:02,883 (both laugh) 323 00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:04,803 ABE: Oh, I'll tell you what the problem is. 324 00:14:04,843 --> 00:14:06,304 I hate this boat! 325 00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:07,472 I hate this place! 326 00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:09,182 I hate everything about this damn vacation! 327 00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:10,891 KITTY: Then why didn't you say anything? 328 00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:12,310 ABE: What difference would it make? 329 00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:15,355 This whole trip was your idea, and God knows, 330 00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:17,898 whatever Kitty wants, Kitty gets! 331 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,900 KITTY: Stop behaving like a total ass. 332 00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,361 You're ruining everyone's vacation. 333 00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:23,988 ABE: I could be sitting in a suite in Hawaii right now! 334 00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:26,199 KITTY: You know these people can't afford that. 335 00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:28,909 ABE: Well, pardon me for going to college 336 00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:30,203 and earning a decent living. 337 00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:33,414 Should I drive a crappy car because they do, too? 338 00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:35,916 No, they cannot hear me. 339 00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:39,003 And even if they could, they'd certainly understand 340 00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:41,922 that it's just my puckish sense of humor. 341 00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:43,842 Oh, it will, too, work. 342 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,092 They're not that smart. 343 00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:47,928 Turn on the radio. Yeah. 344 00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:51,224 (snoring) 345 00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:53,184 (loud snoring) 346 00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:02,360 (loud snoring continues) 347 00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:27,802 ♪ ♪ 348 00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:35,769 116... 349 00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:38,646 What? Nothing. 350 00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:44,444 117... 351 00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:46,362 You know, I didn't want it to come to this, 352 00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:48,489 but there's only so far a person can be pushed. 353 00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:49,990 You don't have to persuade me. 354 00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:52,076 This is exactly the kind of injustice 355 00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:54,913 the Alabama legal system was designed to address. 356 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:57,415 Now, just sign here. 357 00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:02,420 And we'll need your parent's signatures at the bottom. 358 00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:11,053 Great. 359 00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:13,013 I'm a notary as well as a lawyer, 360 00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:14,515 so I can have this expedited. 361 00:16:14,557 --> 00:16:16,643 Great. 362 00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:19,729 (phone ringing) 363 00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:21,439 (high-pitched voice): Hello. 364 00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:24,024 Well, he's in with a client right now. 365 00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:26,110 Can he call you back? 366 00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:28,613 What's your name, sugar? 367 00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:31,031 Mom, no, please! We can't watch Dewey. 368 00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:32,116 We already have plans. 369 00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:33,868 And now they include your brother. 370 00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:34,869 Mom... 371 00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:36,078 This isn't a negotiation. 372 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,038 You're going to take your brother with you 373 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:39,749 and you're going to have fun with him! 374 00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:42,168 (whimpering) 375 00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:47,841 Now, remember, this is a magic buoy. 376 00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:49,049 Mermaids are drawn to it, 377 00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:50,134 and they'll grant your every wish. 378 00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:52,094 But they won't show up 379 00:16:52,136 --> 00:16:53,930 if there's more than one person here. 380 00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:54,973 Just leave. 381 00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:57,350 Don't insult me. 382 00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:18,496 Hi, Malcolm. 383 00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:21,374 Me and my naked friends got tired of waiting for you. 384 00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:25,586 You don't want that jerk Reese to have all the fun, do you? 385 00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:27,797 (gasps) What happened? 386 00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:29,382 You catch something? 387 00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:30,383 No. 388 00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:32,510 We're never going to catch anything. 389 00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:33,803 I know. 390 00:17:33,845 --> 00:17:37,097 This is really awful, isn't it? 391 00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:39,099 I don't think there's a darned fish 392 00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:41,101 in this whole lake. 393 00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:43,521 You know what, it doesn't matter. 394 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:46,858 It's just nice being out here with you. 395 00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:50,778 Dad? 396 00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:51,905 Hmm? 397 00:17:51,946 --> 00:17:53,364 You know the other day at the store 398 00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,366 when I pretended not to know you? 399 00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:56,283 Yeah. 400 00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:58,118 That was a new low. 401 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:01,497 Well, there was this girl... 402 00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:02,790 Really? 403 00:18:05,001 --> 00:18:06,711 I'm sorry. 404 00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:09,005 I know. 405 00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:11,215 Ooh, looks like 406 00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:12,508 you got a nibble. 407 00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:15,053 Attaboy. Set the hook. Set the hook. 408 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,013 Yeah, let him run. Let him run. 409 00:18:17,055 --> 00:18:19,139 Okay, now reel him in. Reel him in. 410 00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:21,141 Attaboy. Attaboy. Look at that! 411 00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:23,603 (laughs) Come to Papa, baby. 412 00:18:24,896 --> 00:18:26,731 You betcha. Oh, yeah! 413 00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,608 Oh! That's a striper! 414 00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:30,150 (both laughing) 415 00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:32,152 Look at that beauty! Way to go, Malcolm! 416 00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:33,654 Thanks, Dad. 417 00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:34,614 (girls laughing) 418 00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:36,824 He's four pounds if he's an ounce. 419 00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:38,785 Yeah. 420 00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:40,578 (girls laughing) 421 00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:50,880 Huh. 422 00:18:50,922 --> 00:18:52,172 Isn't this your brother's shirt? 423 00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:55,301 (motor revving, Hal screams) 424 00:19:07,021 --> 00:19:08,481 (panting) 425 00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:10,858 Why? 426 00:19:15,029 --> 00:19:18,198 You are in so much trouble! 427 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:21,119 I know! 428 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,079 I can't believe it either. 429 00:19:23,121 --> 00:19:25,331 Hi, Dewey! 430 00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:39,679 If you'll excuse me, dear, 431 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:44,142 I believe I'll go take a nap on my luxurious foam pad. 432 00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:47,937 How long are you going to let this go on? 433 00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:50,314 I tried to talk to him. It just didn't help. 434 00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:52,232 Maybe you came on too strong. 435 00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:53,526 You can start by apologizing. 436 00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:55,695 You don't have to mean it. 437 00:19:55,736 --> 00:19:57,488 Look, you have one day of vacation left. 438 00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,157 You want to spend it like this? 439 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,117 All right. 440 00:20:01,159 --> 00:20:03,161 I can swallow my pride. 441 00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:09,167 Kitty (yelling): And you think you're some kind of a picnic?! 442 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,251 With your long-suffering sighs 443 00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:14,172 and your pouting and your 2:00 a.m. crying jags?! 444 00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:18,051 You are a big, overindulged mama's boy! 445 00:20:18,092 --> 00:20:19,343 ABE: And you are an uptight, 446 00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:22,513 impossible-to-please control freak! 447 00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:24,140 I can't take it anymore! 448 00:20:24,182 --> 00:20:26,266 KITTY: Well, what you going to do about it, mama's boy? 449 00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:29,687 Huh? What's the big mama's boy going to do about it?! 450 00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:31,731 (thud) 451 00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:33,273 (loud crash) 452 00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:35,735 Oh, my God. 453 00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:39,197 ♪ ♪ 454 00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:40,280 Sorry. 455 00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:41,490 I thought you were fighting. 456 00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:44,284 I didn't see anything. 457 00:20:46,704 --> 00:20:49,582 Oh, dear God. 458 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,753 Three weeks of slave labor, 459 00:20:53,794 --> 00:20:57,006 my relationship with Dad will never be the same, 460 00:20:57,048 --> 00:20:58,674 and I can't stop smiling. 461 00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:01,552 Dewey, remember when we were both stuck on the buoy 462 00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:04,097 and you said you wanted to be a ventriloquist? 463 00:21:04,138 --> 00:21:07,558 Well, I thought it was something we could do together. 464 00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:10,310 Thanks, Dad. 465 00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:12,230 You're welcome, son. 466 00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:13,898 LOIS: Oh, my God! 467 00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:14,941 What is it? 468 00:21:14,982 --> 00:21:17,401 It's Francis! 469 00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:19,361 He quit school. 470 00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:22,322 He's on his way to Alaska. 471 00:21:22,364 --> 00:21:23,616 Well, that's ridiculous. 472 00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:25,243 He can't just take himself out of school. 473 00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:26,326 He has to have our permission. 474 00:21:26,368 --> 00:21:27,494 No, he doesn't. 475 00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:30,330 He got himself legally emancipated. 31832

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