All language subtitles for Young Sheldon - 02x11 - A Race of Superhumans and a Letter to Alf.AVS-SVA.English.HI.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese Download
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,165 --> 00:00:02,156 Previously on Young Sheldon... 2 00:00:02,159 --> 00:00:04,119 Why was Veronica Duncan hugging you? 3 00:00:04,122 --> 00:00:06,188 I'm tutoring her in trigonometry. 4 00:00:06,190 --> 00:00:08,357 Just between us, she's a little slow. 5 00:00:08,359 --> 00:00:09,859 That's not what I heard. 6 00:00:11,579 --> 00:00:13,145 There's nobody at my house. 7 00:00:13,148 --> 00:00:14,864 - You want to come over? - Yes. 8 00:00:14,866 --> 00:00:16,699 - What's that? - Some stupid haunted house 9 00:00:16,701 --> 00:00:18,609 my mother's doing for the church. 10 00:00:18,612 --> 00:00:20,902 ADULT SHELDON: Mr. Lundy's scene about lust 11 00:00:20,905 --> 00:00:23,457 made a deep impact on my brother's date. 12 00:00:23,460 --> 00:00:25,762 She asked to be saved by Jesus. 13 00:00:25,765 --> 00:00:27,977 [CRYING]: I don't want to live like this anymore. 14 00:00:27,980 --> 00:00:30,001 ADULT SHELDON: And as it turns out, she was. 15 00:00:30,004 --> 00:00:32,781 Dear Lord Jesus, set me free. 16 00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:35,750 [MUSIC PLAYING OVER TV] 17 00:00:35,753 --> 00:00:38,325 ADULT SHELDON: In Conquest of the Planet of the Apes, 18 00:00:38,328 --> 00:00:41,924 we learned how humans taught the apes to become civilized. 19 00:00:41,926 --> 00:00:44,124 Which I think should start with potty training, 20 00:00:44,127 --> 00:00:45,717 but I'm not a screenwriter. 21 00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:47,262 Can you help me with my math homework? 22 00:00:47,265 --> 00:00:48,236 No. 23 00:00:48,239 --> 00:00:50,099 Please. It's really hard. 24 00:00:50,101 --> 00:00:52,001 "It" isn't the problem. 25 00:00:52,003 --> 00:00:53,402 Sheldon. 26 00:00:53,404 --> 00:00:55,638 Fine, what are you working on? 27 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:57,552 There's a number, then there's a line, 28 00:00:57,555 --> 00:00:59,655 then there's another number under it. 29 00:00:59,658 --> 00:01:01,177 Fractions? 30 00:01:01,179 --> 00:01:03,045 Yes, fractions. 31 00:01:04,415 --> 00:01:06,148 ADULT SHELDON: At that moment, 32 00:01:06,150 --> 00:01:08,841 it occurred to me if I could teach mathematics 33 00:01:08,844 --> 00:01:11,192 to someone as dull-witted as my sister, 34 00:01:11,195 --> 00:01:13,223 I could create a race of superhumans 35 00:01:13,226 --> 00:01:14,790 that would do my bidding. 36 00:01:14,792 --> 00:01:17,322 And who wouldn't want that? 37 00:01:17,325 --> 00:01:19,325 Please, Sheldon. 38 00:01:19,328 --> 00:01:22,298 You know what, Missy? I'd be happy to help you. 39 00:01:22,300 --> 00:01:23,933 Thank you. 40 00:01:25,603 --> 00:01:28,537 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 41 00:01:28,539 --> 00:01:31,374 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 42 00:01:31,376 --> 00:01:33,976 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 43 00:01:33,978 --> 00:01:36,833 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 44 00:01:36,836 --> 00:01:42,884 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com -- 45 00:01:42,887 --> 00:01:46,155 Try thinking of it this way: imagine a pie. 46 00:01:46,157 --> 00:01:47,890 The number on the bottom of the fraction 47 00:01:47,892 --> 00:01:50,526 is how many pieces the pie has been sliced into. 48 00:01:50,528 --> 00:01:51,961 What kind of pie is it? 49 00:01:51,963 --> 00:01:53,295 Doesn't matter. 50 00:01:53,297 --> 00:01:54,630 But it would help me picture it 51 00:01:54,632 --> 00:01:55,965 if I knew the kind of pie. 52 00:01:55,967 --> 00:01:57,867 Fine, it's banana cream. 53 00:01:57,869 --> 00:01:59,802 I don't like banana cream. 54 00:01:59,805 --> 00:02:02,571 Okay, what kind of pie would you like it to be? 55 00:02:02,573 --> 00:02:05,598 What about those little apple pies from McDonalds? 56 00:02:05,601 --> 00:02:08,010 - Sure. - I burned my mouth on one of those. 57 00:02:08,012 --> 00:02:10,646 Didn't stop me. I still ate it. 58 00:02:10,648 --> 00:02:12,281 [DOORBELL RINGS, DOOR OPENS] 59 00:02:14,018 --> 00:02:16,218 Veronica. Hi. 60 00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:17,820 Hey, Georgie. 61 00:02:17,822 --> 00:02:20,589 You-you changed your hair. 62 00:02:20,591 --> 00:02:22,558 I did. 63 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:24,827 It's shorter. 64 00:02:24,829 --> 00:02:27,263 It is. 65 00:02:27,265 --> 00:02:29,565 I like it. 66 00:02:29,567 --> 00:02:32,034 Thank-thanks. 67 00:02:32,036 --> 00:02:33,302 You here to see me? 68 00:02:33,304 --> 00:02:35,237 I-I'm here for your mom's Bible study. 69 00:02:35,239 --> 00:02:38,974 Oh, sure, of course. 70 00:02:38,976 --> 00:02:40,508 I'm glad you could join us. 71 00:02:41,913 --> 00:02:43,412 Come in, won't you? 72 00:02:43,414 --> 00:02:45,514 [CHUCKLES] You're part of the group, too? 73 00:02:45,516 --> 00:02:50,119 Faith, the Bible, God, I'm nuts for that stuff. 74 00:02:50,121 --> 00:02:52,655 [LAUGHS SOFTLY] 75 00:02:54,024 --> 00:02:58,960 So one-fourth of the 12 pieces of pie is...? 76 00:02:58,963 --> 00:03:00,029 Three? 77 00:03:00,031 --> 00:03:01,697 Yes. 78 00:03:01,699 --> 00:03:05,334 And one-third of the 12 pieces is...? 79 00:03:05,336 --> 00:03:06,635 Four? 80 00:03:06,637 --> 00:03:09,258 Yes. Now how much is one-third of the pie plus 81 00:03:09,261 --> 00:03:10,994 one-fourth of the pie? 82 00:03:10,997 --> 00:03:16,645 Well, three plus four is seven, but there's 12 pieces, 83 00:03:16,647 --> 00:03:19,148 so seven-twelve-iths. 84 00:03:19,150 --> 00:03:22,351 It's twelfths. And yes. 85 00:03:22,353 --> 00:03:24,954 I did it. 86 00:03:24,956 --> 00:03:26,455 ADULT SHELDON: Actually, I did it. 87 00:03:26,457 --> 00:03:30,226 In less than ten minutes, I taught fractions to a monkey. 88 00:03:31,896 --> 00:03:35,197 Welcome, Veronica. We're so glad to have you. 89 00:03:37,101 --> 00:03:38,534 What are you doing? 90 00:03:38,536 --> 00:03:40,736 What's it look like? I'm here for Bible study. 91 00:03:40,738 --> 00:03:42,805 Did you just take a shower? 92 00:03:42,807 --> 00:03:43,973 No. 93 00:03:43,975 --> 00:03:45,741 [SNIFFS] You did, too. 94 00:03:45,743 --> 00:03:48,297 So I want to be clean for Jesus. Get off my back. 95 00:03:49,447 --> 00:03:51,847 Interesting. 96 00:03:51,849 --> 00:03:54,183 Georgie, if you want to be a good Christian, 97 00:03:54,185 --> 00:03:56,218 maybe you should stop lying through your teeth. 98 00:03:56,220 --> 00:03:58,380 Just be happy I brushed them, okay? 99 00:03:58,383 --> 00:04:00,689 - Hmm... - MISSY: Okay. 100 00:04:00,691 --> 00:04:01,857 All done. Thanks. 101 00:04:01,859 --> 00:04:03,325 While we're here, would you like me 102 00:04:03,327 --> 00:04:04,927 to introduce you to algebra? 103 00:04:04,929 --> 00:04:06,328 Al who? 104 00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:07,763 Oh, boy. 105 00:04:07,765 --> 00:04:10,255 It's not a person, it's an ancient Arabic method 106 00:04:10,258 --> 00:04:12,601 of finding the value of variables. 107 00:04:12,603 --> 00:04:14,503 Oh. Nah. 108 00:04:15,914 --> 00:04:18,541 ADULT SHELDON: Clearly, I needed a more sophisticated technique 109 00:04:18,543 --> 00:04:20,743 to motivate my simian sister. 110 00:04:20,745 --> 00:04:22,178 Are you sure? 111 00:04:22,180 --> 00:04:26,615 If you learn a little algebra, I'll give you a banana. 112 00:04:26,617 --> 00:04:30,119 All right, now we're reading from Matthew 4. 113 00:04:30,121 --> 00:04:34,106 Georgie, why don't you get us started on verse 17? 114 00:04:34,109 --> 00:04:35,224 Me? 115 00:04:35,226 --> 00:04:36,759 Yes, you. 116 00:04:36,761 --> 00:04:39,528 Oh. Okay. 117 00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:42,606 Um... Verse 17... 118 00:04:42,609 --> 00:04:44,500 [QUIETLY]: Verse 17... 119 00:04:44,502 --> 00:04:47,069 Give me a minute. 120 00:04:47,071 --> 00:04:48,437 Here. 121 00:04:49,574 --> 00:04:52,441 Bless you. 122 00:04:52,443 --> 00:04:55,661 Okay, here we go. "From that time, 123 00:04:55,664 --> 00:04:58,147 "Jesus began to preach and say 'Repent, 124 00:04:58,149 --> 00:05:02,284 c-change your inner self, your old way of thinking, 125 00:05:02,286 --> 00:05:04,220 regret past sins, 126 00:05:04,222 --> 00:05:07,653 live your life in a way that proves repentance: 127 00:05:07,656 --> 00:05:09,959 seek God's purpose for your life." 128 00:05:09,961 --> 00:05:11,560 Powerful stuff. 129 00:05:13,831 --> 00:05:15,431 Can I get an amen? 130 00:05:15,433 --> 00:05:17,666 ALL: Amen. 131 00:05:17,769 --> 00:05:18,835 Amen. 132 00:05:22,206 --> 00:05:24,742 - Need any help there, Sheldon? - I'm looking 133 00:05:24,745 --> 00:05:26,942 for some books on education theory. 134 00:05:26,944 --> 00:05:28,577 - What for? - I'm trying 135 00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:30,312 to develop a technique to teach someone 136 00:05:30,314 --> 00:05:33,450 who falls into the conventional category of "stupid." 137 00:05:33,453 --> 00:05:36,218 Oh. Well, now, there's a wide range of stupid. 138 00:05:36,220 --> 00:05:38,220 Can you narrow it down? 139 00:05:38,222 --> 00:05:40,389 She wrote a fan letter to Alf. 140 00:05:40,391 --> 00:05:44,860 Got it. So you're looking to make a pretty radical change. 141 00:05:44,862 --> 00:05:47,363 Well, ideally, I'd like to wipe my sister's brain clean 142 00:05:47,365 --> 00:05:49,965 and start over, but my mom wouldn't like that. 143 00:05:49,967 --> 00:05:52,101 Yeah. Moms are no fun. 144 00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:10,519 Hey, Veronica. 145 00:06:10,521 --> 00:06:12,789 - Georgie. - So, listen, 146 00:06:12,792 --> 00:06:15,023 I was doing my prayers last night and, uh, 147 00:06:15,026 --> 00:06:17,693 you won't believe it, but I think God spoke to me. 148 00:06:17,695 --> 00:06:20,547 Really? What did he say? 149 00:06:20,550 --> 00:06:21,916 Well, I couldn't understand 150 00:06:21,919 --> 00:06:24,466 all of it, 'cause it was in an ancient language, 151 00:06:24,469 --> 00:06:25,968 but the part I did understand 152 00:06:25,970 --> 00:06:28,804 is he wants us to spend more time together. 153 00:06:28,806 --> 00:06:30,672 Doing what? 154 00:06:30,675 --> 00:06:33,541 Oh, you know, praying, helping the needy. 155 00:06:33,544 --> 00:06:35,644 Your usual Christian activities. 156 00:06:35,646 --> 00:06:38,180 Well, I'm okay with that. 157 00:06:38,182 --> 00:06:42,651 Good. So you, me and God, we'll hang out. 158 00:06:42,653 --> 00:06:44,453 Sounds good. 159 00:06:44,455 --> 00:06:47,356 Okay. See you later. 160 00:06:47,358 --> 00:06:50,292 [CHUCKLES] See you. 161 00:06:50,294 --> 00:06:53,648 I may be going to hell. 162 00:06:53,651 --> 00:06:54,997 [EXHALES SHARPLY] 163 00:06:54,999 --> 00:06:56,832 So you're hoping to create an army 164 00:06:56,834 --> 00:06:59,768 of super-intelligent children who will do your bidding? 165 00:06:59,770 --> 00:07:01,637 In a perfect world, yes. 166 00:07:01,639 --> 00:07:03,605 You should spend more time with my mother. 167 00:07:03,607 --> 00:07:04,940 That's her goal, too. 168 00:07:04,942 --> 00:07:06,842 SHELDON: Ooh, this is interesting. 169 00:07:06,844 --> 00:07:09,997 According to Socrates, all knowledge exists 170 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,489 within the student and just needs to be drawn out 171 00:07:12,492 --> 00:07:14,216 through skillful questioning. 172 00:07:14,218 --> 00:07:17,686 Are you saying I knew that before you even said it? 173 00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:19,722 - I don't know, did you? - Well, according 174 00:07:19,724 --> 00:07:23,325 to Socrates, you do know and the answer's inside you. 175 00:07:23,327 --> 00:07:26,328 Well, then, ask me a skillful question to draw it out. 176 00:07:26,330 --> 00:07:30,666 Do you know if I knew before I knew? 177 00:07:30,668 --> 00:07:33,335 No. 178 00:07:33,337 --> 00:07:35,871 Hey, it works. 179 00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:37,940 It does. 180 00:07:44,177 --> 00:07:47,178 [CAMERA BEEPS, WHIRS] 181 00:07:48,408 --> 00:07:50,408 I'm recording my findings 182 00:07:50,410 --> 00:07:53,411 so that future generations of mankind can understand 183 00:07:53,413 --> 00:07:57,215 the steps I took to create homo novus, "new man." 184 00:07:57,217 --> 00:08:00,818 Of course, there's a strong likelihood that my homo novi 185 00:08:00,820 --> 00:08:02,700 might've wiped out all future generations, 186 00:08:02,703 --> 00:08:05,123 so I have no idea who's watching this. 187 00:08:05,125 --> 00:08:07,225 What are you doing in here? 188 00:08:07,227 --> 00:08:10,495 I'm keeping a video diary of my experiment to create homo novus. 189 00:08:10,497 --> 00:08:11,863 Homo what? 190 00:08:11,865 --> 00:08:14,599 Novus. It's Latin. It means "new man." 191 00:08:14,601 --> 00:08:18,069 Oh. I guess that's okay. 192 00:08:18,071 --> 00:08:21,305 Y-Your mom's at church. W-What do you want for dinner? 193 00:08:23,242 --> 00:08:26,443 I believe you know what I want for dinner. 194 00:08:26,446 --> 00:08:28,146 Is that right? 195 00:08:28,148 --> 00:08:29,647 It's Thursday. 196 00:08:29,649 --> 00:08:32,550 What does Mom always make me on Thursdays? 197 00:08:32,552 --> 00:08:34,152 Spaghetti and hot dogs? 198 00:08:36,312 --> 00:08:38,656 Socrates. Got to love him. 199 00:08:38,658 --> 00:08:41,309 CONGREGATION: ♪ Then sings my soul ♪ 200 00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:45,329 ♪ My savior God to Thee ♪ 201 00:08:45,331 --> 00:08:48,199 ♪ How great Thou art ♪ 202 00:08:48,201 --> 00:08:49,667 ♪ God to Thee ♪ 203 00:08:49,669 --> 00:08:51,484 ♪ How great Thou art ♪ 204 00:08:51,601 --> 00:08:53,704 ♪ How great Thou art ♪ 205 00:08:53,706 --> 00:08:56,374 - ♪ How great Thou art ♪ - ♪ Then sings my soul ♪ 206 00:08:56,376 --> 00:08:59,497 ♪ My savior God to Thee ♪ 207 00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:01,247 ♪ Then sings my soul ♪ 208 00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:05,082 - ♪ How great Thou art ♪ - ♪ My savior God to Thee ♪ 209 00:09:05,084 --> 00:09:08,820 - ♪ How great Thou art. ♪ - ♪ How great Thou art. ♪ 210 00:09:11,656 --> 00:09:12,988 PASTOR JEFF: And now, 211 00:09:12,991 --> 00:09:15,058 why don't we take a moment to pray, 212 00:09:15,061 --> 00:09:17,094 uh, keeping in mind that our prayers 213 00:09:17,096 --> 00:09:19,464 should not be for our own benefit, 214 00:09:19,466 --> 00:09:21,933 but for our family, friends, 215 00:09:21,935 --> 00:09:26,771 fellow Texans, Americans of all races and religions 216 00:09:26,773 --> 00:09:28,206 and the world. 217 00:09:28,208 --> 00:09:29,598 Well, most of the world. 218 00:09:29,601 --> 00:09:31,275 Y'all know what countries to pick. 219 00:09:34,380 --> 00:09:36,914 MARY: Lord, please look after my family. 220 00:09:36,916 --> 00:09:39,917 Give them everything they need to be happy and healthy. 221 00:09:39,919 --> 00:09:42,325 And this lovely young girl with me tonight, 222 00:09:42,328 --> 00:09:44,989 help her stay on the path of righteousness. 223 00:09:44,991 --> 00:09:47,391 VERONICA: God, please look after my sister. 224 00:09:47,393 --> 00:09:49,627 You can find her at the women's correctional facility 225 00:09:49,629 --> 00:09:50,695 in Lubbock. 226 00:09:50,697 --> 00:09:52,430 Help her seek salvation in you 227 00:09:52,432 --> 00:09:55,933 instead of cocaine, marijuana and bass players. 228 00:09:55,935 --> 00:09:58,169 GEORGIE: Jesus, I'm sure, even from Heaven, you can see 229 00:09:58,171 --> 00:10:00,171 how hot the girl sitting next to me is. 230 00:10:00,173 --> 00:10:02,473 And I know I'm not supposed to pray for myself, 231 00:10:02,475 --> 00:10:04,342 but here's the deal: if you can get her 232 00:10:04,344 --> 00:10:06,177 to fall in love with me, and you know, 233 00:10:06,179 --> 00:10:07,778 make some bad decisions, 234 00:10:07,780 --> 00:10:10,381 I swear I'll come to church every Sunday. 235 00:10:10,383 --> 00:10:12,997 MARY: And thank you for bringing Georgie tonight, 236 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,899 even though you and I both know why he came. 237 00:10:15,902 --> 00:10:18,536 Speaking of which, whatever he's praying for right now, 238 00:10:18,539 --> 00:10:19,857 ignore it. 239 00:10:19,859 --> 00:10:22,403 VERONICA: And please protect me from impure thoughts, 240 00:10:22,406 --> 00:10:25,914 and teach me to respect the sanctity of my body. 241 00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:28,903 GEORGIE: Now if for instance she and I were to go skinny dipping 242 00:10:28,906 --> 00:10:30,568 and one thing were to lead to another 243 00:10:30,570 --> 00:10:33,037 under the moonlit sky, get this: 244 00:10:33,039 --> 00:10:35,273 not only do I become a devout Christian, 245 00:10:35,275 --> 00:10:38,075 I will also bug everybody I meet to do the same. 246 00:10:38,077 --> 00:10:39,577 And you know I can be real annoying 247 00:10:39,579 --> 00:10:41,045 when I set my mind to it. 248 00:10:41,047 --> 00:10:42,313 MARY: Amen. 249 00:10:42,461 --> 00:10:44,617 VERONICA: Amen. 250 00:10:44,717 --> 00:10:47,985 GEORGIE: I'm gonna take your silence as a yes. Amen. 251 00:10:55,395 --> 00:10:57,061 What are you working on? 252 00:10:57,063 --> 00:11:00,498 A list of possible boyfriends for my Cabbage Patch doll. 253 00:11:00,500 --> 00:11:03,868 How do you think Celeste would look next to Joey Lawrence? 254 00:11:03,870 --> 00:11:06,003 I don't know who that is. 255 00:11:06,005 --> 00:11:07,838 He's Blossom's brother. 256 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:10,007 I don't know who that is. 257 00:11:10,009 --> 00:11:12,944 It's a show. She wears hats. 258 00:11:12,946 --> 00:11:15,646 Anyway, I've been doing some research, 259 00:11:15,648 --> 00:11:17,748 and I've come to the conclusion that I don't need 260 00:11:17,750 --> 00:11:19,005 to teach you anything. 261 00:11:19,008 --> 00:11:20,585 You already know everything. 262 00:11:20,587 --> 00:11:21,594 Cool. 263 00:11:21,597 --> 00:11:23,386 Your brain already contains all the math 264 00:11:23,389 --> 00:11:24,889 that will ever be known. 265 00:11:24,891 --> 00:11:27,124 I heard you and I said "cool." 266 00:11:27,126 --> 00:11:28,826 Well, wouldn't you like to explore 267 00:11:28,828 --> 00:11:31,329 that great treasure trove of knowledge? 268 00:11:31,331 --> 00:11:34,498 That depends. What's a trove? 269 00:11:34,500 --> 00:11:37,468 We'll circle back to that. True or false? 270 00:11:37,470 --> 00:11:40,371 At times, you have referred to yourself as being dumb. 271 00:11:40,373 --> 00:11:41,973 True. 272 00:11:41,975 --> 00:11:44,241 And do you enjoy feeling that way? 273 00:11:44,243 --> 00:11:46,344 No. 274 00:11:46,346 --> 00:11:48,000 Well, let me change that. 275 00:11:48,003 --> 00:11:49,846 I'm presenting you with an opportunity 276 00:11:49,849 --> 00:11:52,550 to achieve the full potential of your mind. 277 00:11:54,152 --> 00:11:57,621 Are you gonna do some experiment where we switch brains? 278 00:11:57,624 --> 00:11:58,687 No. 279 00:11:58,690 --> 00:12:00,390 'Cause I've seen it on Gilligan's Island 280 00:12:00,393 --> 00:12:01,826 and I've seen it on The Flintstones 281 00:12:01,828 --> 00:12:03,894 and it never goes well. 282 00:12:05,398 --> 00:12:06,631 [EXHALES SHARPLY] 283 00:12:06,633 --> 00:12:09,900 Ooh. Gilligan. 284 00:12:09,902 --> 00:12:14,536 ♪ Then sings my soul, my savior God... ♪ 285 00:12:14,539 --> 00:12:16,774 Oh, who do you think you're fooling here? 286 00:12:16,776 --> 00:12:19,543 I have no idea what you're talking about. 287 00:12:19,545 --> 00:12:22,747 Listen to me. Veronica has a rough family situation, 288 00:12:22,749 --> 00:12:24,981 and she's trying to improve her life. 289 00:12:24,984 --> 00:12:27,818 And I admire that. Very inspirational. 290 00:12:27,820 --> 00:12:29,153 Georgie, 291 00:12:29,155 --> 00:12:31,512 believe me, I'm glad to see you in a church, 292 00:12:31,515 --> 00:12:34,992 but I do not want you taking advantage of that girl. 293 00:12:34,994 --> 00:12:39,196 Taking advantage? Veronica and I are Bible buddies, nothing more. 294 00:12:40,299 --> 00:12:42,533 - I'm serious. - Right. 295 00:12:42,535 --> 00:12:45,069 Maybe you should ask yourself what's in you 296 00:12:45,071 --> 00:12:47,438 that makes you see sin in the hearts of others. 297 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:49,573 Okay, now you're pushing it. 298 00:12:51,744 --> 00:12:54,679 Lord Jesus, please help my mother with her anger. 299 00:12:56,949 --> 00:12:59,316 - Can I get an amen? - No. 300 00:13:01,487 --> 00:13:03,721 Why do we need the camera? 301 00:13:03,723 --> 00:13:06,457 So people in the future can see your transformation. 302 00:13:06,459 --> 00:13:07,858 [CAMERA BEEPS] 303 00:13:07,860 --> 00:13:09,160 Where are you going? 304 00:13:09,162 --> 00:13:11,495 To put on a dress for the future people. 305 00:13:11,497 --> 00:13:13,631 Hello, people of the future. 306 00:13:13,633 --> 00:13:16,966 My name is Missy Cooper and this is my best friend Celeste. 307 00:13:16,969 --> 00:13:19,904 [WHISPERS]: She's dating Joey Lawrence. 308 00:13:21,007 --> 00:13:22,601 [SIGHS] 309 00:13:25,422 --> 00:13:27,923 You want to hang out Saturday? 310 00:13:27,925 --> 00:13:30,442 Can't. I signed up to get baptized. 311 00:13:30,445 --> 00:13:33,295 Oh, yeah. I've been meaning to do that. 312 00:13:33,297 --> 00:13:36,765 Well, why don't you join me? We could do it together. 313 00:13:36,767 --> 00:13:39,786 Sure. You and me, getting double dunked. I like it. 314 00:13:39,789 --> 00:13:41,747 Can you imagine afterwards? 315 00:13:41,750 --> 00:13:44,473 All of our sins will be washed away. 316 00:13:44,475 --> 00:13:47,109 Yeah, and we can start cranking out fresh ones. 317 00:13:49,947 --> 00:13:52,080 I just don't know where I went wrong. 318 00:13:52,083 --> 00:13:54,051 Are you sure your questioning was skillful? 319 00:13:54,054 --> 00:13:56,985 I thought so, but after two hours of interrogation, 320 00:13:56,987 --> 00:13:58,987 all I could extract from my sister's brain 321 00:13:58,989 --> 00:14:01,898 was that there was some sort of block with new kids on it. 322 00:14:01,901 --> 00:14:04,359 Sheldon, how's your educational project going? 323 00:14:04,361 --> 00:14:06,328 Poorly. I've hit a wall. 324 00:14:06,330 --> 00:14:09,348 Have you considered B.F. Skinner's behavior modification? 325 00:14:09,351 --> 00:14:11,099 - What's that? - It uses punishment 326 00:14:11,101 --> 00:14:13,401 and reward to get the results you want. 327 00:14:13,403 --> 00:14:16,271 Ooh, punishment. I like the sound of that. 328 00:14:16,273 --> 00:14:20,742 [QUIETLY]: In the right context, so do I. 329 00:14:20,744 --> 00:14:22,711 I took a real beating at the craps table, 330 00:14:22,713 --> 00:14:25,747 and then I won it all back playing Caribbean Stud Poker. 331 00:14:25,749 --> 00:14:28,150 Well, how does Caribbean Stud Poker work? 332 00:14:28,152 --> 00:14:30,125 I have no idea. I was drunk off my ass. 333 00:14:30,128 --> 00:14:32,333 - [BOTH LAUGH] - MARY: Way to go, Mom. 334 00:14:32,336 --> 00:14:34,257 Way to lead a Christian life. 335 00:14:34,260 --> 00:14:36,525 Oh, does my daughter think poorly of me? 336 00:14:36,527 --> 00:14:37,459 Yes. 337 00:14:37,461 --> 00:14:40,662 Good. I can die happy. 338 00:14:40,664 --> 00:14:44,766 Hey, Mom, just a heads-up, I'm getting baptized tomorrow. 339 00:14:46,431 --> 00:14:47,997 Good Lord. 340 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:51,006 That boy's randiness knows no bounds. 341 00:14:51,008 --> 00:14:52,307 What are you talking about? 342 00:14:52,309 --> 00:14:53,475 He's only doing it 343 00:14:53,477 --> 00:14:54,976 'cause of that Veronica girl. 344 00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:57,179 Oh, sure. That makes sense. 345 00:14:57,181 --> 00:14:58,880 What do you mean, it makes sense? 346 00:14:58,882 --> 00:15:01,379 When I was his age, I hitchhiked to Florida 347 00:15:01,382 --> 00:15:03,442 'cause I had a friend that had a girlfriend 348 00:15:03,445 --> 00:15:05,554 who knew a girl who might be willing. 349 00:15:05,556 --> 00:15:07,122 But then you met my daughter and you didn't have 350 00:15:07,124 --> 00:15:08,957 to travel so far. [LAUGHS] 351 00:15:10,027 --> 00:15:11,293 [BOTTLES CLINK] 352 00:15:13,697 --> 00:15:15,330 SHELDON: According to B.F. Skinner, 353 00:15:15,332 --> 00:15:18,270 if I can find the appropriate punishment to motivate Missy, 354 00:15:18,273 --> 00:15:21,970 there's no limit to what she might be able to learn. 355 00:15:21,972 --> 00:15:24,806 But what might that punishment be? 356 00:15:24,808 --> 00:15:27,175 Whip her with a rubber hose? 357 00:15:27,177 --> 00:15:31,413 No. That sounds like a recipe for tendonitis. 358 00:15:31,415 --> 00:15:35,116 Administer small electric shocks? 359 00:15:35,118 --> 00:15:36,429 Tricky. 360 00:15:36,432 --> 00:15:38,887 If I get the voltage wrong, I could spend the rest of my life 361 00:15:38,889 --> 00:15:41,823 in an institution for the criminally insane. 362 00:15:43,927 --> 00:15:46,595 Or I inflict harm 363 00:15:46,597 --> 00:15:50,031 on the object she loves more than life itself. 364 00:15:52,382 --> 00:15:57,652 Celeste, you're about to become part of scientific history. 365 00:15:59,843 --> 00:16:02,077 All right, everybody, welcome to the 1990 366 00:16:02,079 --> 00:16:03,942 East Texas Baptist Olympics. 367 00:16:03,945 --> 00:16:06,014 [LAUGHS] 368 00:16:06,016 --> 00:16:08,676 'Cause we're in the pool of water. 369 00:16:08,679 --> 00:16:10,703 Anyway, I want to welcome 370 00:16:10,706 --> 00:16:13,221 our little sister Veronica Duncan, 371 00:16:13,223 --> 00:16:15,423 who I will be dunkin'. [CHUCKLES] 372 00:16:15,425 --> 00:16:16,640 Sorry. 373 00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:19,560 I can't turn it off. And I also want to welcome 374 00:16:19,563 --> 00:16:21,696 George Cooper, who has recently found 375 00:16:21,698 --> 00:16:23,365 his way to the Lord. 376 00:16:23,367 --> 00:16:25,734 Howdy. Praise Jesus. 377 00:16:25,736 --> 00:16:27,068 [SIGHS] 378 00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:29,645 Are you ready to learn some advanced calculus? 379 00:16:29,648 --> 00:16:30,905 Nope. 380 00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:32,874 Be right back. 381 00:16:32,876 --> 00:16:35,277 Take your time. 382 00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:37,676 Veronica, do you trust in Jesus Christ 383 00:16:37,679 --> 00:16:40,248 as your personal Lord and savior? 384 00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:42,617 [LAUGHS SOFTLY]: I do. 385 00:16:42,619 --> 00:16:44,819 JEFF: It's upon your profession of faith 386 00:16:44,821 --> 00:16:47,188 that I baptize you, my sister, 387 00:16:47,190 --> 00:16:52,794 in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen. 388 00:16:52,796 --> 00:16:56,731 ♪ Wade in the water ♪ 389 00:16:56,733 --> 00:16:58,575 ♪ Wade ♪ 390 00:16:58,578 --> 00:17:02,971 ♪ In the water, children, wade ♪ 391 00:17:02,973 --> 00:17:05,974 ♪ In the water ♪ 392 00:17:05,977 --> 00:17:09,961 ♪ Washing me down, washing me down ♪ 393 00:17:13,937 --> 00:17:17,185 ♪ Wade... ♪ 394 00:17:17,187 --> 00:17:20,088 Dang. 395 00:17:20,090 --> 00:17:22,101 All right, let's try this again. 396 00:17:22,104 --> 00:17:24,325 Would you be ready to learn some advanced calculus 397 00:17:24,328 --> 00:17:26,494 if it saved Celeste's pigtails? 398 00:17:26,496 --> 00:17:29,331 What are you doing? Put her down. 399 00:17:29,333 --> 00:17:32,000 Not until I modify your behavior. 400 00:17:32,002 --> 00:17:36,538 In the name of the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen. 401 00:17:36,540 --> 00:17:38,606 ♪ Drop me in the water... ♪ 402 00:17:38,608 --> 00:17:40,575 Sheldon, I'm warning you. 403 00:17:49,353 --> 00:17:50,632 ALL: Hallelujah! 404 00:17:50,635 --> 00:17:51,820 [LAUGHS] We did it! 405 00:17:51,822 --> 00:17:53,488 ♪ Tease me... ♪ 406 00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:55,557 Ooh, I'm so happy. 407 00:17:55,559 --> 00:17:57,192 I love you. 408 00:17:58,528 --> 00:18:01,096 Is it working? Are you feeling motivated? 409 00:18:01,098 --> 00:18:02,976 Very. 410 00:18:02,979 --> 00:18:04,250 [ANIMAL GROWLING] 411 00:18:07,371 --> 00:18:10,004 - [GEORGIE GRUNTS] - [ALL GASPING] 412 00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:11,573 Care to explain yourself? 413 00:18:11,575 --> 00:18:13,408 I was trying to motivate Missy 414 00:18:13,410 --> 00:18:15,804 to expand her intellectual horizons. 415 00:18:15,807 --> 00:18:18,213 By torturing her Cabbage Patch doll? 416 00:18:18,215 --> 00:18:20,281 Well, it's not like I shocked her with electrodes, 417 00:18:20,283 --> 00:18:22,093 - which was an option. - Enough. 418 00:18:22,096 --> 00:18:24,586 To be clear, I meant to shock Missy, not the doll. 419 00:18:24,588 --> 00:18:25,754 That would be ineffective. 420 00:18:25,756 --> 00:18:27,687 Enough! And you. 421 00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:30,759 Getting baptized just to kiss a girl? What were you thinking? 422 00:18:30,761 --> 00:18:33,328 Sounds like you know what I was thinking. 423 00:18:33,331 --> 00:18:36,617 Well, you are both grounded. 424 00:18:42,539 --> 00:18:45,441 MISSY: Dear Alf, I'm your number one fan. 425 00:18:45,443 --> 00:18:48,044 I like you because you're an alien but you're funny, 426 00:18:48,046 --> 00:18:51,480 unlike my brother who's an alien but just a jerk. 427 00:18:51,482 --> 00:18:54,417 Anyway, I hope you're enjoying your time here on our planet 428 00:18:54,419 --> 00:18:57,019 and have found things to eat other than cats. 429 00:18:57,021 --> 00:18:58,921 I recommend chicken nuggets. 430 00:18:58,923 --> 00:19:01,657 Sincerely, Missy Cooper, age ten. 431 00:19:01,659 --> 00:19:06,295 ALF: "P.S. My favorite color is pink. What's yours?" 432 00:19:06,297 --> 00:19:08,631 Ha. What a cutie pie. 433 00:19:08,633 --> 00:19:11,300 Hey, hey, Barbara, we got any more of those pink T-shirts 434 00:19:11,302 --> 00:19:12,635 with my face on them? 435 00:19:12,637 --> 00:19:15,371 I want to send one to this Missy Cooper kid. 436 00:19:15,373 --> 00:19:18,040 Oh, oh, and get me some chicken nuggets, huh? 437 00:19:18,043 --> 00:19:21,378 Hello? Anybody out there? 438 00:19:23,414 --> 00:19:25,948 Apparently not. 439 00:19:25,950 --> 00:19:27,507 Barb! 440 00:19:27,510 --> 00:19:30,753 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com -- 32625

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.