All language subtitles for The Mindy Project s02e16 Indian BBW.eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian Download
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,889 --> 00:00:03,891 [Sensual R&B music playing] 2 00:00:03,892 --> 00:00:09,563 3 00:00:09,564 --> 00:00:11,431 Danny. Danny. 4 00:00:11,432 --> 00:00:13,734 I-I don't want to have sex with you. 5 00:00:13,735 --> 00:00:15,435 Yeah, you're very classy. Noted. 6 00:00:15,436 --> 00:00:18,005 No. No, no, no. No, I mean it. 7 00:00:18,006 --> 00:00:19,973 We should stop. 8 00:00:19,974 --> 00:00:22,375 [Sighs] Okay. 9 00:00:22,409 --> 00:00:24,677 - I don't want to rush things. - "Rush things"? 10 00:00:24,678 --> 00:00:26,345 We've been kissing for, like, 20 minutes. 11 00:00:26,346 --> 00:00:27,814 That's like a week in guy minutes. 12 00:00:27,815 --> 00:00:29,549 Come on, don't I get credit for that? 13 00:00:29,583 --> 00:00:31,083 Danny, usually when I have sex with a guy, 14 00:00:31,084 --> 00:00:32,552 we've gone on at least five dates, 15 00:00:32,553 --> 00:00:34,053 or he's spent, like, $2,000 on me, 16 00:00:34,054 --> 00:00:35,287 whichever comes first. 17 00:00:35,288 --> 00:00:36,823 We've gone on hundreds of dates, hundreds. 18 00:00:36,857 --> 00:00:38,525 We've gone on doctors'-lounge dates, 19 00:00:38,526 --> 00:00:41,375 subway-commute dates, medical-conference dates. 20 00:00:41,395 --> 00:00:43,029 Okay, that's a good point. 21 00:00:43,030 --> 00:00:44,196 - Okay. - But, Danny... 22 00:00:44,231 --> 00:00:45,564 Can we just please wait? 23 00:00:45,598 --> 00:00:47,333 [Sighs] 24 00:00:47,334 --> 00:00:49,902 Do you realize there are literally thousands of girls 25 00:00:49,903 --> 00:00:52,304 in New York City that would kill to have sex with me right now? 26 00:00:52,339 --> 00:00:54,640 Okay, that seems untrue. It is true. 27 00:00:54,674 --> 00:00:56,342 I could call up any girl right now in my phone... 28 00:00:56,343 --> 00:00:57,343 Any girl! 29 00:00:57,377 --> 00:00:58,377 - You know what? - What? 30 00:00:58,378 --> 00:00:59,412 By all means, give 'em a call. 31 00:00:59,446 --> 00:01:01,213 Oh, you want me to do it? Call 'em. 32 00:01:01,214 --> 00:01:03,649 [Line trilling] Listen and learn. 33 00:01:03,650 --> 00:01:04,850 (Woman) Hello? 34 00:01:04,851 --> 00:01:06,518 Hey, Abigail, what's up? It's Danny. 35 00:01:06,519 --> 00:01:08,286 - Danny? - Castellano. 36 00:01:08,287 --> 00:01:10,522 - Who? - "D-day"? 37 00:01:10,557 --> 00:01:11,957 No. 38 00:01:11,958 --> 00:01:13,725 It's, uh... it's lil d. 39 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:15,260 - [Line clicks] - Hello? 40 00:01:15,294 --> 00:01:17,495 Meredith, what are you up to right now? 41 00:01:17,496 --> 00:01:18,997 (Meredith) Uh, breast-feeding my son. 42 00:01:19,032 --> 00:01:21,373 Elizabeth, Susan, Billie. 43 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:22,901 I know it sounds like a guy's name... it's a girl. 44 00:01:22,936 --> 00:01:25,003 Connie! Hey, pay attention... Connie. 45 00:01:25,038 --> 00:01:26,805 Her body would not stop. 46 00:01:26,806 --> 00:01:27,939 Oh, Connie's dead? 47 00:01:27,973 --> 00:01:29,440 I'm so sorry. 48 00:01:29,474 --> 00:01:30,875 Well, what are you up to right now? 49 00:01:30,909 --> 00:01:33,044 [Whispering] Stop it. 50 00:01:33,045 --> 00:01:36,213 Okay. Don't beat yourself up. It's a numbers game. 51 00:01:36,247 --> 00:01:38,282 And you've only called, like, what, 25 girls? 52 00:01:38,316 --> 00:01:40,017 They're just afraid if they come over here right now, 53 00:01:40,018 --> 00:01:41,185 they're gonna get attached. 54 00:01:41,219 --> 00:01:43,955 You know, the pheromones, et cetera. - Hmm. 55 00:01:43,989 --> 00:01:45,522 [Phone vibrating] 56 00:01:45,557 --> 00:01:47,558 Vanessa. Vanessa. 57 00:01:47,559 --> 00:01:49,960 Hey, Danny. Hey, Vanessa. What's going on? 58 00:01:49,994 --> 00:01:51,260 Got any plans tonight? 59 00:01:51,261 --> 00:01:53,463 Want to come over and rekindle the old flame? 60 00:01:53,497 --> 00:01:55,498 (Vanessa) Sure, hon, but I should warn you... 61 00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:58,001 My rates have gone up. 62 00:01:58,002 --> 00:01:59,769 That was a wrong number. 63 00:02:00,658 --> 00:02:05,255 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com/ 64 00:02:07,277 --> 00:02:08,611 Good morning, colleagues. 65 00:02:08,612 --> 00:02:10,545 Danny, I brought your favorite breakfast... oatmeal, 66 00:02:10,580 --> 00:02:12,114 with a side of brown sugar. 67 00:02:12,148 --> 00:02:15,450 And by "brown sugar," I, of course, mean my butt. 68 00:02:15,485 --> 00:02:17,753 Peter? Where's Danny? 69 00:02:17,787 --> 00:02:19,321 Oh, you didn't hear? 70 00:02:19,322 --> 00:02:20,589 He came into his office this morning, 71 00:02:20,590 --> 00:02:21,991 and he was all sweaty and cranky. 72 00:02:21,992 --> 00:02:23,291 So I was like, "business as usual." 73 00:02:23,326 --> 00:02:24,994 - Yeah. - So I start telling him about my weekend, 74 00:02:25,028 --> 00:02:27,096 how I got blown off by four separate girls 75 00:02:27,130 --> 00:02:28,597 who all used the same excuse, 76 00:02:28,631 --> 00:02:30,132 which was, "I'm going back to graduate school," 77 00:02:30,166 --> 00:02:31,766 which if you don't mind me saying, 78 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:33,602 I don't know how that precludes you from dating someone. 79 00:02:33,636 --> 00:02:35,303 Anyway, he passed out. 80 00:02:35,304 --> 00:02:36,704 And I was like, "Danny, rude. 81 00:02:36,705 --> 00:02:38,006 I'm telling you about my weekend." 82 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:39,407 Wait, wait, wait. What? What happened to Danny? 83 00:02:39,442 --> 00:02:42,210 He has viral meningitis... Brain fever. 84 00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:43,245 What? 85 00:02:44,447 --> 00:02:45,947 Oh, my God. Danny? 86 00:02:45,981 --> 00:02:47,815 I was so worried about you. 87 00:02:47,850 --> 00:02:49,350 You can't die. You have so much to live for. 88 00:02:49,351 --> 00:02:50,884 My birthday's coming up. 89 00:02:50,885 --> 00:02:52,286 We haven't even talked about what you're gonna get me. 90 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:53,820 [Clears throat] Dr. L. 91 00:02:53,821 --> 00:02:56,490 Richie, you remember Mindy, my coworker. 92 00:02:56,491 --> 00:02:57,491 Coworker? 93 00:02:57,526 --> 00:02:59,026 Yeah. 94 00:02:59,027 --> 00:03:00,628 Okay. Yes. 95 00:03:00,662 --> 00:03:02,196 Hello, Richard. 96 00:03:02,230 --> 00:03:03,730 Don't worry, Dr. L, I'm taking good care of him. 97 00:03:03,731 --> 00:03:05,432 I even brought him Mr. Neck. 98 00:03:05,433 --> 00:03:07,334 She doesn't need to know about that. 99 00:03:07,335 --> 00:03:08,468 I don't know what that is. 100 00:03:08,502 --> 00:03:10,537 [Clears throat] 101 00:03:10,571 --> 00:03:12,372 Richie, could you got find me the white nurse? 102 00:03:12,373 --> 00:03:13,807 Uh, sure. I'll be right back. 103 00:03:13,841 --> 00:03:15,676 Thanks, Richie. 104 00:03:15,710 --> 00:03:17,778 He'll be gone for hours. What the hell, man? 105 00:03:17,812 --> 00:03:19,479 I'm a coworker all of a sudden? 106 00:03:19,513 --> 00:03:20,881 Do I look like Morgan to you? 107 00:03:20,882 --> 00:03:22,015 'Cause people tell me that, and I do not like it. 108 00:03:22,050 --> 00:03:23,650 What? I didn't mean anything by it. 109 00:03:23,651 --> 00:03:25,518 We're just... you know, we're not having sex. 110 00:03:25,519 --> 00:03:27,953 So, technically, we're not... dating. 111 00:03:27,988 --> 00:03:30,790 Oh, I see how it is. Speaking of which... 112 00:03:30,824 --> 00:03:34,494 You know what would make me feel a lot better right now? 113 00:03:34,528 --> 00:03:36,128 Yeah, cannoli. I brought you some, 114 00:03:36,129 --> 00:03:37,597 but I actually ate them on the way over here. 115 00:03:37,598 --> 00:03:38,764 I'm so sorry. 116 00:03:38,799 --> 00:03:40,533 No, not a cannoli, a little... [Clicks tongue] 117 00:03:40,568 --> 00:03:41,801 What? 118 00:03:41,835 --> 00:03:43,536 Boop, boop. 119 00:03:43,571 --> 00:03:44,837 - Danny! - Just... 120 00:03:44,838 --> 00:03:46,005 Absolutely not! 121 00:03:46,006 --> 00:03:47,173 First of all, we're in public. 122 00:03:47,174 --> 00:03:48,440 Second of all, sex with me right now 123 00:03:48,441 --> 00:03:49,742 would kill you in this state. 124 00:03:49,743 --> 00:03:50,910 Your heart-rate monitor would be like, 125 00:03:50,911 --> 00:03:52,311 "beep-beep, beep-beep, beep-beep, beep..." 126 00:03:52,312 --> 00:03:53,512 [Imitates explosion] 127 00:03:53,513 --> 00:03:55,081 No, no, we don't have to have sex, just like... 128 00:03:55,082 --> 00:03:57,083 Just graze it. I'm not gonna graze it! 129 00:03:57,084 --> 00:03:58,450 I'm so sick. 130 00:03:58,451 --> 00:04:00,152 I know. This is your brain fever making you a real pervert. 131 00:04:00,153 --> 00:04:01,721 Yeah, it's making me cra... It's making me so horny. 132 00:04:01,722 --> 00:04:03,055 I have something better than sex... 133 00:04:03,090 --> 00:04:05,191 Bridget Jones's diary... My favorite book. 134 00:04:05,192 --> 00:04:07,892 [Sighs] Whenever I'm sick, I read it, and I feel better. 135 00:04:07,893 --> 00:04:09,060 I thought I would read it to you. 136 00:04:09,095 --> 00:04:10,529 That's great. No, I'm... I'm good. 137 00:04:10,563 --> 00:04:12,431 I'm good on the Bridget Jones thing. 138 00:04:12,465 --> 00:04:16,067 I'm just gonna watch the, uh... The hospital info channel. 139 00:04:16,102 --> 00:04:18,270 Do you know they have a business center on the fourth floor? 140 00:04:18,271 --> 00:04:19,271 - Hmm. - [Phone chirping] 141 00:04:32,551 --> 00:04:34,218 Yeah. 142 00:04:34,219 --> 00:04:35,586 - (Mindy) What? - (Peter) Come on, come on, come on! 143 00:04:35,621 --> 00:04:36,754 - What? - Come on, come on! 144 00:04:36,755 --> 00:04:38,055 Why did I have to run here? 145 00:04:38,056 --> 00:04:39,523 I got very sweaty on the way over here. 146 00:04:39,524 --> 00:04:42,192 - Come here. - Okay. 147 00:04:42,193 --> 00:04:44,862 It was just a normal day for me, like every other day... 148 00:04:44,863 --> 00:04:47,764 Eat my lunch at my desk, catch up on some pornography... 149 00:04:47,798 --> 00:04:49,065 What? 150 00:04:49,066 --> 00:04:50,667 When I came across this. 151 00:04:50,668 --> 00:04:52,068 [Sensual trumpet music playing] 152 00:04:52,069 --> 00:04:53,703 What... You should not be do... 153 00:04:53,738 --> 00:04:55,004 (Mindy) Oh, you've ruined me for other men. 154 00:04:55,005 --> 00:04:56,239 Does that make you feel good? 155 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:58,241 - (Man) Mm-hmm. - Oh, my God. 156 00:04:58,276 --> 00:05:00,042 I don't think I'll ever be able to have sex with another guy. 157 00:05:00,043 --> 00:05:01,110 Oh, my God! 158 00:05:01,111 --> 00:05:02,312 That's exactly what you say in the video. 159 00:05:02,313 --> 00:05:04,512 (Mindy) Okay, that's really good. 160 00:05:06,122 --> 00:05:07,289 (Peter) What on earth were you thinking? 161 00:05:07,290 --> 00:05:08,723 Making a sex tape? 162 00:05:08,724 --> 00:05:10,792 Don't you know that means that creeps like me 163 00:05:10,793 --> 00:05:12,994 are gonna watch it? Oh, my God. Peter... 164 00:05:12,995 --> 00:05:16,365 Please promise me that you have not gratified yourself 165 00:05:16,366 --> 00:05:17,832 while you were watching this. 166 00:05:17,833 --> 00:05:19,901 - Oh, my God! - No, I didn't. 167 00:05:19,902 --> 00:05:21,570 Peter, can you please be more convincing than that? 168 00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:23,638 Just don't look up guiltily! 169 00:05:23,639 --> 00:05:25,073 Look me in the eye and tell me you didn't do it. 170 00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:26,340 I didn't? 171 00:05:26,341 --> 00:05:27,641 Oh, God. 172 00:05:27,642 --> 00:05:28,709 Oh, God. 173 00:05:28,710 --> 00:05:30,344 Look, I know this is bad 174 00:05:30,345 --> 00:05:32,380 for the whole practice. 175 00:05:32,381 --> 00:05:33,981 But I got to say, 176 00:05:33,982 --> 00:05:35,649 I've never met a real pornography actor 177 00:05:35,650 --> 00:05:36,817 up close and personal. 178 00:05:36,818 --> 00:05:38,052 I'm kind of geeking out. 179 00:05:38,053 --> 00:05:39,554 I can't... I need to lie on the floor. 180 00:05:39,555 --> 00:05:41,522 Can I ask you a question? 181 00:05:41,523 --> 00:05:43,524 You know, what was with that trumpet music? 182 00:05:43,525 --> 00:05:46,426 That was just my next-door neighbor practicing his trumpet. 183 00:05:46,427 --> 00:05:48,728 It's actually kind of beautiful if you listen to it. 184 00:05:48,729 --> 00:05:50,464 There is a very spirited debate about that 185 00:05:50,465 --> 00:05:52,165 in the comment section. 186 00:05:52,166 --> 00:05:54,367 The comment section? 187 00:05:54,368 --> 00:05:56,403 - Well, yeah, it's a video online. - Okay. 188 00:05:56,404 --> 00:05:59,106 Verified user bro-b/gyn says, 189 00:05:59,107 --> 00:06:01,341 "hey, I work with her." 190 00:06:01,342 --> 00:06:03,110 I told you I was geeking out. 191 00:06:03,111 --> 00:06:05,044 I gave it three stars. 192 00:06:05,045 --> 00:06:06,846 My life is over. 193 00:06:06,847 --> 00:06:08,681 My professional life is over, and my personal life is over. 194 00:06:08,682 --> 00:06:10,449 This is horrifying, Peter! 195 00:06:10,450 --> 00:06:13,185 And the worst part is I just started... 196 00:06:13,186 --> 00:06:15,121 Hanging out with this guy, 197 00:06:15,122 --> 00:06:18,290 a really special guy that I've liked for a long time. 198 00:06:18,291 --> 00:06:19,926 Well, that's great, right? 199 00:06:19,927 --> 00:06:23,062 No, if he sees this, I know it's gonna be over. 200 00:06:23,063 --> 00:06:24,730 This whole time I've been telling him 201 00:06:24,731 --> 00:06:26,265 I want to, like, "take it slow." 202 00:06:26,266 --> 00:06:29,168 - That doesn't sound like you. - I know! 203 00:06:31,671 --> 00:06:33,572 I tell you what... I can help. 204 00:06:33,573 --> 00:06:34,573 Really? 205 00:06:34,574 --> 00:06:36,041 In order to squash this, 206 00:06:36,042 --> 00:06:37,576 we need to go right to the source. 207 00:06:37,577 --> 00:06:39,778 No. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. 208 00:06:39,812 --> 00:06:41,213 - Oh, yeah. - No, no, no! 209 00:06:41,248 --> 00:06:43,115 - Yep. - Peter, please. I can't. 210 00:06:43,150 --> 00:06:45,250 (Woman on radio) 92.5 211 00:06:45,251 --> 00:06:46,551 all right, let's look here. 212 00:06:46,585 --> 00:06:48,754 Oh, the gums are looking nice. 213 00:06:48,788 --> 00:06:51,056 Yeah, you'd never know they came from a cadaver. 214 00:06:51,090 --> 00:06:52,557 Looks good. 215 00:06:52,591 --> 00:06:54,559 Very nice, Caroline. 216 00:06:54,593 --> 00:06:57,029 What are you doing here? 217 00:06:57,063 --> 00:06:59,564 - Tom. - Mindy! 218 00:06:59,598 --> 00:07:01,432 I need to speak to you about an urgent matter. 219 00:07:01,467 --> 00:07:02,768 Look, Mindy, we're not dating anymore. 220 00:07:02,769 --> 00:07:03,969 So I can't give you free toothbrushes. 221 00:07:04,003 --> 00:07:05,470 I already got my free toothbrushes. 222 00:07:05,471 --> 00:07:06,737 So joke's on you. Come on. 223 00:07:06,772 --> 00:07:08,306 Just hold on a moment. 224 00:07:08,307 --> 00:07:09,440 Come on, come on! 225 00:07:09,475 --> 00:07:10,542 Faster! Move it or lose it. 226 00:07:10,576 --> 00:07:11,976 Let's go. 227 00:07:12,010 --> 00:07:13,911 Hey, why is our sex tape on the Internet? 228 00:07:13,945 --> 00:07:15,746 I-I had nothing to do with that. 229 00:07:15,781 --> 00:07:17,815 I swear on my mother's grave, 230 00:07:17,849 --> 00:07:20,051 I had nothing to do with that. 231 00:07:20,052 --> 00:07:21,585 No, wait. I... 232 00:07:21,586 --> 00:07:22,887 I had something to do with that. 233 00:07:22,921 --> 00:07:24,621 Oh, my gosh. 234 00:07:24,656 --> 00:07:26,623 I lent it to my brother when he got divorced. 235 00:07:26,658 --> 00:07:28,013 - What? - If it makes any difference, 236 00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:29,193 it really helped. 237 00:07:29,194 --> 00:07:30,394 He had a bad case of the blues. 238 00:07:30,428 --> 00:07:32,029 [Clears throat] I am very sorry. 239 00:07:32,030 --> 00:07:33,330 This is Peter, my colleague. This is Tom. 240 00:07:33,364 --> 00:07:34,363 Tom, Peter. 241 00:07:34,365 --> 00:07:35,732 Super disappointed in you, man. 242 00:07:35,766 --> 00:07:36,966 Yes. 243 00:07:37,001 --> 00:07:38,302 I am also pretty psyched to meet you. 244 00:07:38,303 --> 00:07:39,469 You're my new favorite male porn star. 245 00:07:39,504 --> 00:07:40,870 [Whispering] Shut up. 246 00:07:40,871 --> 00:07:43,507 Look, I just started dating my dental assistant, okay? 247 00:07:43,508 --> 00:07:45,942 I don't need this. We're coming up on our two-month anniversary, 248 00:07:45,943 --> 00:07:47,110 so stop it with the porn... 249 00:07:47,111 --> 00:07:48,945 Hey... We're out of gauze. 250 00:07:48,979 --> 00:07:50,347 Should I order gauze? 251 00:07:50,381 --> 00:07:53,584 Yeah, angel, do whatever you want, okay? 252 00:07:53,585 --> 00:07:55,385 Boop. 253 00:07:58,989 --> 00:08:00,456 [Sighs] 254 00:08:00,457 --> 00:08:01,858 I mean, how am I supposed to get anything done 255 00:08:01,859 --> 00:08:03,093 with that in my face all day? 256 00:08:03,127 --> 00:08:04,627 Okay. 257 00:08:04,661 --> 00:08:05,995 Look, okay, 258 00:08:05,996 --> 00:08:07,530 I'll destroy that tape the minute I get home, okay? 259 00:08:07,564 --> 00:08:09,232 - Thank you. - No way, buddy. 260 00:08:09,233 --> 00:08:10,600 You gotta bring that tape to Mindy. 261 00:08:10,601 --> 00:08:12,481 No man in history has ever destroyed a sex tape. 262 00:08:12,502 --> 00:08:14,637 Uh-huh. Thank you, my slimy friend. 263 00:08:14,638 --> 00:08:17,473 That's a good point. You are not destroying it. 264 00:08:17,507 --> 00:08:19,108 You're gonna bring it to my office, 265 00:08:19,142 --> 00:08:21,543 place it on my desk, and you're gonna close the door behind you, 266 00:08:21,544 --> 00:08:24,046 - today. - I'll do it today. 267 00:08:24,047 --> 00:08:25,914 And what if Margo found out? 268 00:08:25,915 --> 00:08:29,384 I shot that before she turned me super Christian. 269 00:08:29,418 --> 00:08:31,787 Hey, who's uncomfortable? 270 00:08:31,788 --> 00:08:33,288 Okay, this is great. 271 00:08:33,289 --> 00:08:34,689 You know what? 272 00:08:34,690 --> 00:08:36,725 I'll just destroy that tape before anyone important sees it. 273 00:08:36,726 --> 00:08:38,693 Mindy, it's on the Internet. 274 00:08:38,694 --> 00:08:40,895 We have to go to sploders.com and get them to take it down. 275 00:08:40,929 --> 00:08:41,996 No, no, no. 276 00:08:41,997 --> 00:08:43,430 I'm not gonna go to some seedy warehouse 277 00:08:43,431 --> 00:08:44,866 where they make porns, okay? 278 00:08:44,867 --> 00:08:46,367 And have to deal with some gross slime-os. 279 00:08:46,368 --> 00:08:48,502 I'm not gonna do that! You're being pretty close-minded 280 00:08:48,503 --> 00:08:50,371 for a girl who just got her start in porn. 281 00:08:50,405 --> 00:08:51,873 Okay. 282 00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:54,208 Let me ask you something, a little advice... 283 00:08:54,243 --> 00:08:55,910 In the love department. 284 00:08:55,944 --> 00:08:56,978 Oh, okay. 285 00:08:57,012 --> 00:09:01,382 My colleague Mindy and I... We, uh... 286 00:09:01,383 --> 00:09:03,850 We've been, you know... 287 00:09:03,851 --> 00:09:05,419 - Kissing. - Oh! 288 00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:06,687 But just kissing. 289 00:09:06,688 --> 00:09:08,389 She doesn't want to have sex with me yet. 290 00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:09,856 I mean, she's no prude. 291 00:09:09,857 --> 00:09:12,259 You know, I've seen her number on two different bathroom walls 292 00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:14,361 in her own handwriting. 293 00:09:14,362 --> 00:09:17,298 I don't know. You know, Richie... 294 00:09:17,299 --> 00:09:18,666 Maybe she doesn't like me? 295 00:09:18,700 --> 00:09:20,966 Come on. Of course she likes you. 296 00:09:20,967 --> 00:09:25,672 Maybe she just wants to take it a little slow because... 297 00:09:25,673 --> 00:09:27,006 She knows how judgmental you can be. 298 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:28,274 What do you mean? I'm not judgmental. 299 00:09:28,275 --> 00:09:29,676 No, you're right. You're right. 300 00:09:29,677 --> 00:09:31,477 Hey, did I tell you that I'm thinking of leasing a car 301 00:09:31,478 --> 00:09:32,945 instead of buying? 302 00:09:32,946 --> 00:09:35,080 Oh, yeah, that's great, Richie. That's real great. 303 00:09:35,081 --> 00:09:37,149 Have fun not building up a credit history. 304 00:09:37,150 --> 00:09:38,351 Are you kidding me? 305 00:09:38,352 --> 00:09:40,386 You know what? Next time I buy you a Suze Orman book, 306 00:09:40,387 --> 00:09:42,054 I'm gonna throw it in the trash myse... 307 00:09:42,088 --> 00:09:43,189 Okay, I get it. 308 00:09:43,190 --> 00:09:44,756 You're testing me. You're testing me. 309 00:09:44,791 --> 00:09:46,926 Danny, if Mindy wants to take things slow, 310 00:09:46,927 --> 00:09:48,660 you have to accept that... 311 00:09:48,661 --> 00:09:51,230 Just like you're gonna want her to accept, one day, 312 00:09:51,264 --> 00:09:53,598 that you don't like turning on the heat in the winter. 313 00:09:53,633 --> 00:09:55,634 Why, to heat up a drawer full of unused sweaters? 314 00:09:55,668 --> 00:09:57,069 You want to get warm, 315 00:09:57,070 --> 00:10:00,139 get on the floor and do some push-ups, okay? 316 00:10:00,173 --> 00:10:01,806 Okay, look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 317 00:10:04,009 --> 00:10:07,712 (Woman on radio) 92.5 318 00:10:07,746 --> 00:10:08,880 sorry to keep you waiting. 319 00:10:08,914 --> 00:10:10,614 Spring is our horny season. 320 00:10:10,649 --> 00:10:12,250 - Of course. - By the way... 321 00:10:12,284 --> 00:10:14,418 I'm a big fan of your work. 322 00:10:14,453 --> 00:10:16,821 Oh, God, kill me. 323 00:10:16,856 --> 00:10:19,891 So we understand you would like us to take down your video, 324 00:10:19,892 --> 00:10:21,559 and we hear you. 325 00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:23,394 Integrity is the Hallmark of Sploders 326 00:10:23,395 --> 00:10:25,329 and the sploders family of porn websites. 327 00:10:25,364 --> 00:10:27,398 Oh, cool. So you'll do it. 328 00:10:27,432 --> 00:10:29,199 Sploders is a family business. 329 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:32,570 In 1922, our grandfather Irwin Fleischman 330 00:10:32,571 --> 00:10:34,405 arrived at Ellis Island, 331 00:10:34,406 --> 00:10:36,039 took one look at the Statue of Liberty, 332 00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:39,343 and thought, "I wonder what she's got going on under there." 333 00:10:39,378 --> 00:10:41,945 - And sploders was born. - Wow. 334 00:10:41,980 --> 00:10:45,148 Grandpa believed you shouldn't have to go to the museum 335 00:10:45,149 --> 00:10:46,683 to see a naked woman. 336 00:10:46,684 --> 00:10:49,819 Miss you, pop-pop! Horny freak. 337 00:10:49,820 --> 00:10:53,490 Unfortunately, we can't oblige your request. 338 00:10:53,491 --> 00:10:55,359 You see, as it turns out, there is a growing market 339 00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:56,927 for Indian BBWs. 340 00:10:56,961 --> 00:10:58,128 Wait. 341 00:10:58,162 --> 00:10:59,596 What's a BBW? 342 00:10:59,630 --> 00:11:01,498 Oh, you... you don't have to explain that for her. 343 00:11:01,532 --> 00:11:03,199 Oh, I have to guess it. 344 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:06,936 Okay. Um, is it, like, "brainy birdlike wife" material? 345 00:11:06,970 --> 00:11:08,371 No, it means "big beautiful woman." 346 00:11:08,405 --> 00:11:10,606 What... the hell? 347 00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:12,608 "Beautiful woman" is in there. 348 00:11:12,642 --> 00:11:14,710 But also "big." Are you kidding me? 349 00:11:14,744 --> 00:11:17,146 Look at these wrists. Look at how dainty they are! 350 00:11:17,147 --> 00:11:20,016 They can barely hold up the enormous calzones that I eat. 351 00:11:20,050 --> 00:11:22,151 The problem is here, guys, 352 00:11:22,152 --> 00:11:24,786 that there aren't very many Indian women in this country 353 00:11:24,787 --> 00:11:26,321 that have the kind of loose morals 354 00:11:26,322 --> 00:11:28,723 that allow them to star in these videos. 355 00:11:28,724 --> 00:11:30,058 Most of them become doctors. 356 00:11:30,092 --> 00:11:31,126 Well, I am a doctor! 357 00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:32,160 Right. Right. 358 00:11:32,161 --> 00:11:33,561 We're both gynecologists. 359 00:11:33,595 --> 00:11:36,331 We're all gynecologists in this room. 360 00:11:36,365 --> 00:11:39,634 Look, from one porn aficionado to a couple others, 361 00:11:39,635 --> 00:11:43,471 maybe you could just do us a solid. 362 00:11:43,505 --> 00:11:45,205 Wish we could. 363 00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:46,807 But if we took down a video 364 00:11:46,841 --> 00:11:48,309 every time someone didn't like it, 365 00:11:48,310 --> 00:11:50,077 we wouldn't be rich beyond our wildest dreams. 366 00:11:50,111 --> 00:11:52,746 Did I mention my house has four pools? 367 00:12:04,194 --> 00:12:07,229 This is just typical me, you know? 368 00:12:07,230 --> 00:12:09,098 I screwed something up before I even got a chance 369 00:12:09,099 --> 00:12:10,597 to screw it up. 370 00:12:10,598 --> 00:12:12,534 I guess I'll just be single forever. 371 00:12:12,535 --> 00:12:15,603 Hey, guys? I need to tell you a story real quick. 372 00:12:15,604 --> 00:12:17,071 When I was in college, 373 00:12:17,072 --> 00:12:19,073 I could've taken pictures of every hot tri delt 374 00:12:19,074 --> 00:12:20,441 at the Dartmouth nude Olympics. 375 00:12:20,442 --> 00:12:21,709 Did I? You bet I did. 376 00:12:21,744 --> 00:12:23,010 Did I put 'em online? 377 00:12:23,045 --> 00:12:24,712 Tried, couldn't figure it out. 378 00:12:24,747 --> 00:12:26,848 Tried again, still having trouble. 379 00:12:26,849 --> 00:12:27,982 Tried a third time, 380 00:12:28,016 --> 00:12:29,583 still was having problems. 381 00:12:29,584 --> 00:12:30,752 I bought a firewire cable... 382 00:12:30,786 --> 00:12:32,220 I'm gonna stop you right there. 383 00:12:32,221 --> 00:12:33,687 - Kind of a long story. - Yep. 384 00:12:33,688 --> 00:12:34,888 You went to Dartmouth? 385 00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:36,590 Yeah, I'm a d-bag. Are you a d-bag? 386 00:12:36,625 --> 00:12:38,859 Class of '96, class of '98. 387 00:12:38,893 --> 00:12:40,060 (Peter) So what do you guys say? 388 00:12:40,094 --> 00:12:41,895 For the big green? 389 00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:43,997 Okay, but only for big green. 390 00:12:44,031 --> 00:12:45,899 (All) Wah-hoo-wah! 391 00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:47,000 Wahoo-wah! 392 00:12:47,034 --> 00:12:48,602 That's not how we did that. 393 00:12:48,637 --> 00:12:50,904 Ms. Lahiri, before you go... 394 00:12:50,905 --> 00:12:52,806 Would you consider starring in a new project for us? 395 00:12:52,807 --> 00:12:54,340 We'll pay you $300,000. 396 00:12:54,375 --> 00:12:58,044 I'm sorry, three hundo-thundo just to flash Vince and Owen? 397 00:12:58,079 --> 00:13:00,847 Guy, she just begged you to take down her sex tape. 398 00:13:00,848 --> 00:13:03,383 You really think she'd stoop that low to... 399 00:13:03,384 --> 00:13:05,152 - Mindy? - You're right. You're right. 400 00:13:05,153 --> 00:13:06,319 Of course not. 401 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,721 It just... it seems like such easy money. 402 00:13:08,756 --> 00:13:11,091 - Dr. C. hey! - Yeah. 403 00:13:11,092 --> 00:13:12,492 Don't rest so much. It's not good for you. 404 00:13:12,493 --> 00:13:13,559 You got to wake up. 405 00:13:13,594 --> 00:13:15,395 Morgan, what are you... What are you doing? 406 00:13:15,429 --> 00:13:17,297 I have a special delivery for my best guy friend. 407 00:13:17,331 --> 00:13:19,899 That's nice. [Groans] 408 00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:21,100 What about the balloons? 409 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,269 - These are for my own personal use. - Okay. 410 00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:24,771 But Dr. L's actually gonna spend the night here, 411 00:13:24,772 --> 00:13:26,772 and she asked me to drop off some of her work. 412 00:13:26,773 --> 00:13:28,207 - Very sweet... - Mm-hmm. 413 00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:29,909 - And professional. - Yeah. 414 00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:31,743 So, uh... 415 00:13:31,744 --> 00:13:33,312 You didn't actually bring me anything? 416 00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:36,048 I could sing you a song so you feel better. 417 00:13:36,082 --> 00:13:37,283 No. 418 00:13:37,284 --> 00:13:38,918 Can you sing me a song so I feel better? 419 00:13:38,952 --> 00:13:40,152 Good-bye, Morgan. 420 00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,486 [Sighs] 421 00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:43,622 I can't lose you. You're not gonna lose me. 422 00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,157 - You could die. - Not gonna die. 423 00:13:45,192 --> 00:13:47,959 You might. Thanks for coming by. 424 00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:49,494 You're one in a million, Castellano. 425 00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:53,064 [Door opens, closes] 426 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:02,474 [Sighs] 427 00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:03,642 (Peter) What floor is Danny on? 428 00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:05,210 Five. But you know what, Peter? 429 00:14:05,211 --> 00:14:06,577 After defeating that porn empire, 430 00:14:06,578 --> 00:14:08,379 - I think we should take the stairs. - Take the stairs? 431 00:14:08,380 --> 00:14:11,649 Mindy, they had to airlift you out of a 5k fun run for cancer. 432 00:14:11,650 --> 00:14:13,517 We're taking the elevator. 433 00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:19,690 Where do you put the tape in? 434 00:14:19,725 --> 00:14:21,392 [Elevator bell dings] 435 00:14:21,393 --> 00:14:23,361 Okay, um, I'm mad that you brought that up. 436 00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:24,695 You know that's a sensitive subject with me. 437 00:14:24,730 --> 00:14:27,097 I feel like I can get airlifted once in a while. 438 00:14:27,131 --> 00:14:28,165 Eject... That works. 439 00:14:28,199 --> 00:14:29,333 Yeah. 440 00:14:29,367 --> 00:14:30,700 [Elevator bell dings] 441 00:14:30,701 --> 00:14:32,982 Jillian Michaels says that these are wasted opportunities. 442 00:14:33,004 --> 00:14:34,504 Jillian who? 443 00:14:36,074 --> 00:14:37,307 Bingo. 444 00:14:41,212 --> 00:14:42,346 [Elevator bell dings] 445 00:14:42,347 --> 00:14:44,281 Okay, you win. Let's take the stairs. 446 00:14:44,282 --> 00:14:45,715 [Knock at door] 447 00:14:45,716 --> 00:14:48,150 (Tom) Mindy. 448 00:14:48,151 --> 00:14:50,319 (Mindy) Who's Mindy? I'm Cody, mister. 449 00:14:50,354 --> 00:14:52,821 I'm selling cookies, cookies to turn you on. 450 00:14:52,822 --> 00:14:54,323 - You're dirty. - It's happening. 451 00:14:54,324 --> 00:14:55,624 [Both moaning] 452 00:14:55,658 --> 00:14:57,659 No! No, no. Don't do that. Don't do that. 453 00:14:57,694 --> 00:14:59,561 Don't do that! Don't do that to him! 454 00:14:59,562 --> 00:15:00,863 Oh, my... 455 00:15:00,898 --> 00:15:03,799 You know, my sophomore year, meningitis tore through my frat. 456 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:05,067 Mm-hmm. 457 00:15:05,068 --> 00:15:06,769 We thought we were hungover for the first week. 458 00:15:06,770 --> 00:15:08,604 If queef's dad hadn't been the surgeon general, 459 00:15:08,605 --> 00:15:09,804 we all would've been nips up. 460 00:15:09,805 --> 00:15:11,406 No kidding. 461 00:15:11,407 --> 00:15:12,573 Wait. 462 00:15:12,574 --> 00:15:14,742 [Distant sensual trumpet music plays] 463 00:15:14,743 --> 00:15:16,477 Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. 464 00:15:16,512 --> 00:15:18,179 Ahhhh! 465 00:15:18,214 --> 00:15:19,680 - Oh, my God. - (Tom) You are dirty! 466 00:15:19,715 --> 00:15:21,349 [Yells] 467 00:15:21,384 --> 00:15:23,018 Ah, God! I can't unsee this. 468 00:15:23,052 --> 00:15:25,020 Mindy, I've never done this before. Hey! 469 00:15:25,054 --> 00:15:27,555 That's burned in my retina! Ah! 470 00:15:27,589 --> 00:15:29,489 Oh, Tom, you own me. 471 00:15:29,524 --> 00:15:32,026 Get away from her with that thing! Oh! 472 00:15:32,060 --> 00:15:33,593 No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. 473 00:15:33,628 --> 00:15:35,662 Why would you give this to me, you sicko? 474 00:15:35,696 --> 00:15:37,731 Danny, I gave it to Tom, like, ten years ago. 475 00:15:37,732 --> 00:15:39,033 - It means nothing. - Oh, yeah? 476 00:15:39,034 --> 00:15:40,700 Were you taking it slow when you made this with Tom? 477 00:15:40,701 --> 00:15:42,702 Or is this medium speed for you? 478 00:15:42,703 --> 00:15:43,703 No, that's faster than medium speed. 479 00:15:43,738 --> 00:15:44,738 Do not look at that! 480 00:15:44,739 --> 00:15:47,141 It was the 2000s, okay? 481 00:15:47,142 --> 00:15:49,342 You were kind of a loser if you didn't have a sex tape. 482 00:15:49,343 --> 00:15:50,543 It's disgusting. 483 00:15:50,577 --> 00:15:52,312 God! Why did I even have to look at that? 484 00:15:52,313 --> 00:15:53,947 My eyes hurt. Why do you care? 485 00:15:57,217 --> 00:15:58,217 What? 486 00:15:58,218 --> 00:15:59,585 (Peter) I don't understand. 487 00:15:59,586 --> 00:16:00,653 Why do you care so much, Danny? 488 00:16:00,654 --> 00:16:02,888 I'm just... 489 00:16:02,889 --> 00:16:04,757 Worried that this tape isn't good for the practice. 490 00:16:04,791 --> 00:16:06,159 The practice? 491 00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:08,027 I've done way worse things to the practice. 492 00:16:08,062 --> 00:16:09,429 Last week I called in a bomb threat 493 00:16:09,430 --> 00:16:10,596 'cause I was too hungover to come in. 494 00:16:10,630 --> 00:16:13,131 That's so much worse, Danny, isn't it? 495 00:16:13,166 --> 00:16:14,633 All right, we'll talk about that later. 496 00:16:14,634 --> 00:16:16,101 Let's talk about the tape, okay? 497 00:16:16,102 --> 00:16:17,703 - I don't... - I feel like I'm missing something, 498 00:16:17,704 --> 00:16:19,905 'cause the only person that should be, like, that upset 499 00:16:19,906 --> 00:16:21,440 is the new guy Mindy's dating. 500 00:16:21,441 --> 00:16:24,477 Wait. Wait. 501 00:16:24,478 --> 00:16:25,478 Wait. 502 00:16:25,512 --> 00:16:26,645 - What? - Wait. 503 00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:27,713 What? 504 00:16:27,714 --> 00:16:28,848 Wait, wait, wait. 505 00:16:28,849 --> 00:16:30,382 Please stop repeating the word "wait"! 506 00:16:30,416 --> 00:16:32,417 Mindy, are you and Danny porking? 507 00:16:32,452 --> 00:16:34,719 Are you kidding me? Us two? 508 00:16:34,753 --> 00:16:37,089 We are never gonna do that. Ridiculous. 509 00:16:37,123 --> 00:16:38,656 That is unprofessional. 510 00:16:38,657 --> 00:16:40,125 We're not having sex, right, Mindy? 511 00:16:40,126 --> 00:16:41,226 Mm-hmm. 512 00:16:41,227 --> 00:16:42,427 Are you feeling all right, min? 513 00:16:42,428 --> 00:16:43,996 You're all, like, nauseous and fevery. 514 00:16:44,030 --> 00:16:46,030 You look like that morning you tried to be a vegan. 515 00:16:46,032 --> 00:16:47,665 - Yeah, you're sweating. - Is it guilt? Is it guilt sweats? 516 00:16:47,700 --> 00:16:50,234 Oh, my God. You have Danny's meningitis! 517 00:16:50,268 --> 00:16:51,502 What? 518 00:16:51,503 --> 00:16:53,137 If she has meningitis, it's her own strain. 519 00:16:53,138 --> 00:16:54,705 I had nothing to do with that. 520 00:16:54,706 --> 00:16:55,806 You two are porking! 521 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:57,174 We're not. We're coworkers. 522 00:16:57,209 --> 00:16:58,509 We're not. Yeah, we're coworkers. 523 00:16:58,510 --> 00:17:00,311 And the reason I'm sweaty is that... 524 00:17:00,312 --> 00:17:01,479 I did crossfit earlier. 525 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:04,115 So I'm still kind of feeling the... effects. 526 00:17:04,116 --> 00:17:06,250 Whoa! Mindy? 527 00:17:06,251 --> 00:17:08,285 Her shirt's up. Okay, don't look! 528 00:17:08,286 --> 00:17:09,516 Sorry. Why do you care? 529 00:17:09,517 --> 00:17:11,108 Nurse! 530 00:17:12,928 --> 00:17:14,361 Hey, kiddo. 531 00:17:16,397 --> 00:17:17,564 You're looking a little sad. 532 00:17:17,599 --> 00:17:18,999 Want me to cheer you up? 533 00:17:19,034 --> 00:17:21,301 Do some Sheldon from Big Bang Theory? 534 00:17:21,302 --> 00:17:23,403 [Imitating sheldon] Bazinga! Hmm? 535 00:17:23,438 --> 00:17:25,172 I've never seen a woman before. 536 00:17:25,207 --> 00:17:27,208 Oh, Peter, you know I love your Sheldon, 537 00:17:27,209 --> 00:17:29,009 but I'm not in the mood to laugh. 538 00:17:29,044 --> 00:17:31,478 You know, uh, 539 00:17:31,479 --> 00:17:33,614 if this new guy you're hanging out with 540 00:17:33,615 --> 00:17:35,315 is gonna lose his shitake mushroom 541 00:17:35,316 --> 00:17:36,750 over a sex tape, 542 00:17:36,751 --> 00:17:38,318 then he's probably not the right guy for you anyway. 543 00:17:38,353 --> 00:17:41,154 Well, the good news is... 544 00:17:41,155 --> 00:17:44,023 It seems like there is no guy anymore, 545 00:17:44,024 --> 00:17:45,892 and I'm just gonna be all alone... 546 00:17:45,893 --> 00:17:47,628 Just some oversexed creep 547 00:17:47,629 --> 00:17:49,529 who can't even make a good sex tape. 548 00:17:49,564 --> 00:17:51,565 Hey. That tape had a lot going against it... 549 00:17:51,566 --> 00:17:54,800 I mean, bad lighting, female director. 550 00:17:54,834 --> 00:17:56,302 The worst part is... 551 00:17:56,303 --> 00:17:58,003 I didn't even like Tom that much, 552 00:17:58,037 --> 00:18:00,606 not nearly as much as I like this new guy. 553 00:18:00,641 --> 00:18:02,408 And that's ruined. 554 00:18:04,911 --> 00:18:07,313 Well, I gotta go. 555 00:18:07,314 --> 00:18:10,115 I'm a total germaphobe. 556 00:18:10,150 --> 00:18:12,518 [Knock at door] 557 00:18:12,519 --> 00:18:15,153 - Hey, Danny. - Move it. 558 00:18:15,187 --> 00:18:16,821 Oh, God, kill me. 559 00:18:16,822 --> 00:18:18,122 (Peter) I know you think that Mindy 560 00:18:18,157 --> 00:18:19,391 embarrassed the practice, 561 00:18:19,392 --> 00:18:21,793 but before you get all judge-y Reinhold on her, 562 00:18:21,794 --> 00:18:23,361 listen to what Tom has to say. 563 00:18:23,362 --> 00:18:24,862 Okay, Margo's out in the hallway, 564 00:18:24,897 --> 00:18:27,565 so let's not talk about the sex tape. 565 00:18:27,566 --> 00:18:29,934 - You know, she thinks I'm a virgin. - Okay, you know what? 566 00:18:29,935 --> 00:18:31,803 Hey, hey! What are you doing? Trying to pull the plug. 567 00:18:31,837 --> 00:18:33,437 Stop it! It's right there. 568 00:18:33,438 --> 00:18:34,805 Tom, tell him about the time 569 00:18:34,806 --> 00:18:36,473 that you spent together with Mindy. 570 00:18:36,474 --> 00:18:38,342 Why does he need to know that? Why is that a deal? 571 00:18:38,376 --> 00:18:40,110 Margo, would you like to come in here 572 00:18:40,111 --> 00:18:41,445 and watch a movie? That's not nice. 573 00:18:41,446 --> 00:18:43,414 You're not being nice. No. Hey, back! 574 00:18:43,415 --> 00:18:46,183 Back, honey! Not nice. 575 00:18:46,184 --> 00:18:47,785 That's not nice? You just slammed the door in her face. 576 00:18:47,786 --> 00:18:49,986 Danny, listen, I don't think Mindy 577 00:18:49,987 --> 00:18:52,422 ever really liked me that much, okay? 578 00:18:52,423 --> 00:18:55,224 I think we did all the freaky sex stuff because... 579 00:18:55,225 --> 00:18:57,293 We didn't like spending time with each other. 580 00:18:57,294 --> 00:19:00,296 And when I say "freaky," I mean like really freaky. 581 00:19:00,297 --> 00:19:02,298 [Whispering] Did you ever tape any of that? 582 00:19:02,299 --> 00:19:03,466 Most of it. 583 00:19:03,467 --> 00:19:04,701 What? Where is this going? 584 00:19:04,702 --> 00:19:06,101 I'm just saying, I think she would've dumped me 585 00:19:06,102 --> 00:19:07,403 after two weeks if I didn't have such a huge... 586 00:19:07,404 --> 00:19:08,805 Okay, all right. That's enough. 587 00:19:08,806 --> 00:19:10,639 Every time I see you, you bring that up. 588 00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:11,707 - Thank you. - We good? 589 00:19:11,708 --> 00:19:13,041 - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. We're good. 590 00:19:13,042 --> 00:19:14,943 I don't know, this is... 591 00:19:14,944 --> 00:19:17,612 Okay, maybe that didn't go as well as I thought. 592 00:19:17,613 --> 00:19:19,614 But Mindy didn't even like Tom. 593 00:19:19,615 --> 00:19:20,615 And if you could've seen 594 00:19:20,616 --> 00:19:21,983 the crazy lengths she went through 595 00:19:21,984 --> 00:19:24,786 to make sure your eyes didn't get on that tape... 596 00:19:24,787 --> 00:19:28,022 I think it's because Mindy really... 597 00:19:28,023 --> 00:19:31,759 Respects the practice. 598 00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:35,929 Maybe she's even a little bit in love with the practice. 599 00:19:35,930 --> 00:19:38,599 Maybe she even wants to get boned by the practice. 600 00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:39,667 Okay, thank you, Peter. That's enough. 601 00:19:39,668 --> 00:19:41,702 Yeah. 602 00:19:41,703 --> 00:19:44,572 (Woman on TV) Veronica, why didn't you come to my other talk show? 603 00:19:44,573 --> 00:19:45,873 (Veronica) Because my cat is sick. 604 00:19:45,874 --> 00:19:47,742 And Jessica said you didn't care! 605 00:19:47,743 --> 00:19:50,378 [Knock at door] 606 00:19:50,379 --> 00:19:52,011 Hey. 607 00:19:52,012 --> 00:19:53,980 Oh, hey. 608 00:19:53,981 --> 00:19:57,384 I just came down to borrow your Bridget Jones's diary. 609 00:19:57,385 --> 00:19:59,486 I think I must've lost mine. 610 00:19:59,487 --> 00:20:01,621 Uh, it's over there. 611 00:20:01,622 --> 00:20:04,323 The nurse put it across the room as punishment for pinching her. 612 00:20:04,324 --> 00:20:06,225 So... 613 00:20:06,226 --> 00:20:08,895 Enjoy it. 614 00:20:10,630 --> 00:20:12,398 You know... 615 00:20:12,399 --> 00:20:15,501 I was thinking that, uh... 616 00:20:17,336 --> 00:20:20,506 You know, maybe you were right. 617 00:20:20,507 --> 00:20:23,642 I think... 618 00:20:23,643 --> 00:20:25,977 I think I like that you want to take things slow. 619 00:20:28,114 --> 00:20:30,681 Let's do slow. 620 00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:36,788 [Sighs] 621 00:20:36,789 --> 00:20:38,289 Chapter one. 622 00:20:38,290 --> 00:20:41,225 Can you do the voices? 623 00:20:41,226 --> 00:20:44,028 [Sighs] Okay. 624 00:20:44,029 --> 00:20:47,598 [British accent] "The last thing on Earth I feel physically, 625 00:20:47,599 --> 00:20:50,434 "emotionally, or mentally equipped to do 626 00:20:50,435 --> 00:20:53,537 "is to drive una and Geoffrey Alconbury's 627 00:20:53,538 --> 00:20:56,740 New Year's Day turkey curry buffet..." 628 00:20:56,741 --> 00:20:58,809 Oh! That's where she meets Darcy. 629 00:20:58,810 --> 00:21:00,344 [Normal voice] Oh, yeah? Who's she? 630 00:21:00,345 --> 00:21:02,712 No, Mark Darcy... Colin Firth. 631 00:21:02,713 --> 00:21:04,781 Oh. Okay. Yep. 632 00:21:04,782 --> 00:21:07,217 I like that guy. 633 00:21:07,218 --> 00:21:09,018 [British accent] "'Oh, hello, darling. 634 00:21:09,019 --> 00:21:12,288 "I was just ringing to see what you wanted for Christmas.' 635 00:21:12,289 --> 00:21:14,223 "'Christmas?' 636 00:21:14,224 --> 00:21:16,392 "'would you like a surprise, darling?' 637 00:21:16,393 --> 00:21:17,893 "'no!' I bellowed. 638 00:21:17,894 --> 00:21:19,528 "'Sorry. I mean...' 639 00:21:19,529 --> 00:21:22,165 "'I wondered if you'd like a set of wheels for your suitcase.' 640 00:21:22,166 --> 00:21:24,900 "'but I haven't got a suitcase.' 641 00:21:24,901 --> 00:21:26,735 "'why don't I get you a little suitcase 642 00:21:26,736 --> 00:21:28,403 "'with wheels attached? 643 00:21:28,404 --> 00:21:30,506 You know, like an air hostess has.'" 644 00:21:30,507 --> 00:21:34,495 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com/ 645 00:21:34,545 --> 00:21:39,095 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 46873

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.