Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,376 --> 00:00:03,204
We need an article
about the basketball squad,
2
00:00:03,378 --> 00:00:05,253
and you're just the guy to write it,
Harvey.
3
00:00:05,422 --> 00:00:06,917
- It'll be fun.
- "It'll be fun."
4
00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:09,885
I need to use the phone.
Wrap it up, lady.
5
00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:11,844
Oh, that's just our lonely,
crazy neighbour.
6
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:14,219
He came over to borrow more tinfoil
for his hat.
7
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:16,888
SALEM: Gah?
- I'll talk to you at school.
8
00:00:17,059 --> 00:00:20,595
- Hey, it's my turn. This isn't fair.
- Write a letter to PETA.
9
00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:26,932
Yes, I'd like to order
a dozen long-stem roses
10
00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:30,196
for Principal Willard Kraft
at Westbridge High School.
11
00:00:30,405 --> 00:00:31,438
Yes, I've met him.
12
00:00:31,615 --> 00:00:34,487
- Roses? Did he die?
- I just like him.
13
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,494
That's a shame
now that he's passed on.
14
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:40,536
Well, enough with the "boohoo."
Pass me the phone.
15
00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:43,585
- Hey.
- Why so anxious to talk on the phone?
16
00:00:43,794 --> 00:00:47,128
I need to call into Nick Bakay's
sports show on ESPN Radio.
17
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:49,172
All he ever talks about
is the Buffalo Bills.
18
00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:52,047
And his voice. Lord, is it annoying.
19
00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:55,049
Whatever Aunt Hilda's talking about
is more important than that.
20
00:00:55,264 --> 00:00:57,056
Yes, I'd like to reserve a floor buffer.
21
00:00:57,516 --> 00:01:00,138
- Great, ciao.
SALEM: Finally.
22
00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:03,680
I tell you, I'm sick of being the only guy
in a houseful of hens.
23
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,606
- Ugh!
- Ooh. That's gonna cost you.
24
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,646
Gah? Oh!
25
00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:11,441
Turn me back. Turn me back.
26
00:01:46,398 --> 00:01:48,558
The Other Realm announced
that they'll pay cash money
27
00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:50,941
for each empty potion bottle.
Got any?
28
00:01:51,153 --> 00:01:54,155
You know, I have this strange ritual
I perform with empty things.
29
00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:55,734
I throw them away.
30
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,575
I'm sure there are some
in the basement.
31
00:01:57,743 --> 00:01:59,902
If there's half as much glassware
as mouse droppings,
32
00:02:00,078 --> 00:02:01,823
this witch is Aruba-bound.
33
00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:04,198
Why is it as soon
as I get out all my winter clothes,
34
00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:06,167
we suddenly get
stupid Indian summer?
35
00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:09,295
I believe the correct term is
"stupid Native American summer."
36
00:02:09,922 --> 00:02:12,959
You're gonna get a break with this
unseasonably warm weather, Sabrina.
37
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,293
Brad's witch-hunting gene
will be dormant.
38
00:02:15,511 --> 00:02:18,347
Yeah, besides the fact that you'll be
wearing wool during a heat wave,
39
00:02:18,514 --> 00:02:19,713
should be an easy week.
40
00:02:19,932 --> 00:02:21,012
Sabrina, you've got mail.
41
00:02:21,225 --> 00:02:25,140
Maybe Valerie finally tore herself away
from her new friends to write me.
42
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:28,812
Oh, great, Mr. Kraft just gave me
detention over the computer.
43
00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:31,018
- What did you do?
- Breathe.
44
00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:34,355
You know, something
has been bothering Willard lately.
45
00:02:34,530 --> 00:02:37,104
I think I'm gonna have him over
for lunch today.
46
00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:41,405
Maybe some tuna salad and coleslaw
will help him reveal his true feelings.
47
00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:43,163
And I shall happily take refuge
48
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:45,324
in the damp squalor
we call a basement.
49
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:48,417
Aunt Zelda, I think it's a great idea
to have Mr. Kraft over for lunch.
50
00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:51,920
That'll be 45 minutes
where he can't make my life miserable.
51
00:02:52,631 --> 00:02:54,541
He's always nice to me.
52
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,800
- So have you heard from Valerie?
- Yeah, she's doing great.
53
00:02:58,971 --> 00:03:01,260
Apparently Disneyland
isn't the happiest place on Earth,
54
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:02,464
Anchorage is.
55
00:03:02,641 --> 00:03:04,718
Don't tell the people in Juneau.
56
00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:06,934
Hey, I decided to do that sports article
for you.
57
00:03:07,104 --> 00:03:08,932
Great. Let's talk money.
There is none.
58
00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:10,435
Well, you got yourself a deal.
59
00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:12,352
Except I'm gonna need some help
writing it.
60
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:16,026
Oh, I'll be glad to help. It'll be fun,
and it'll take my mind off Valerie.
61
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:17,989
But I already asked Brad to help me.
62
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,239
- What?
- Don't worry, he's a great writer.
63
00:03:20,409 --> 00:03:22,699
He won a contest
in the second grade.
64
00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:26,328
Oh, well, maybe you can fit his trip
to Grandma's into the article.
65
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:29,577
What's up, guys? Hey,
so did you tell her about my idea yet?
66
00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:31,703
Brad thinks we should interview
the towel boys,
67
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:34,667
promise anonymity,
and get a real inside look at the team.
68
00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:38,049
Yeah, that's an interesting idea,
unfortunately.
69
00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:39,459
We're on it.
70
00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:45,017
What's that saying?
"Two's company, three's pathetic"?
71
00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:50,435
Whenever Mr. Kraft talks,
he spews verbal anthrax.
72
00:03:50,606 --> 00:03:52,516
Valerie would've loved that line.
73
00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:55,230
And I wouldn't be talking to myself
right now.
74
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,566
Wasn't this a nice idea?
75
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:05,617
You get a home-cooked lunch,
and we get a chance to talk.
76
00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:09,074
- What is this, the Inquisition?
- Something's been bothering you.
77
00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:11,783
Whoa-ho-ho.
Look at the time, I gotta run.
78
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,919
Those kids don't yell at themselves.
79
00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:16,538
Well, at least let me put a sandwich
in a bag for you.
80
00:04:19,510 --> 00:04:21,587
Well, I do love tuna.
81
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:27,595
- I can't get Willard to talk.
- You've done wonders with him.
82
00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:30,384
You think I should cast
an Honest and Vulnerable Spell?
83
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:34,437
Yes, it'll make his feelings as open
as his mouth is when he's chewing.
84
00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:36,109
I'll do it.
85
00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:40,022
- Here's your sandwich.
- Thank you. Gotta run.
86
00:04:40,239 --> 00:04:42,991
Are you sure you don't wanna tell me
what's been bothering you?
87
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:45,365
It's Wally.
88
00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:46,907
- Wally?
- My brother.
89
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,957
Sure, I got the good name,
but he got everything else:
90
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:54,454
looks, charm, a personality.
91
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,586
Now he's coming to visit.
92
00:04:56,755 --> 00:04:58,796
Well, so you'll put up with him
for a few days
93
00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:01,090
and then say goodbye
to Perfect Pete.
94
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,710
No, it's "Wally."
And you don't understand.
95
00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:06,386
He's stolen every girlfriend
I've ever had
96
00:05:06,557 --> 00:05:08,384
and many that I just claimed to have.
97
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:11,057
Oh, Willard, you're not worried?
98
00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:14,479
Well, you're just--
You're so breathtakingly beautiful.
99
00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:18,985
- He's gonna wanna steal you.
- Oh, you're so vulnerable.
100
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:22,024
And so honest.
101
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:27,243
HILDA: How did it go?
- Wonderfully.
102
00:05:27,411 --> 00:05:29,488
Did you remove the spell?
103
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:33,282
No, I like him honest and vulnerable.
Besides, what could it hurt?
104
00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:35,502
And sometimes
when I sleep at night,
105
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:40,249
I am so consumed with self-doubt
that I suck my thumb.
106
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:44,919
Okay, this is new,
getting sick before lunch.
107
00:05:45,804 --> 00:05:48,723
Oh, hey, Brad and I are having a blast
with that article.
108
00:05:48,891 --> 00:05:50,137
Thanks for making me do it.
109
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:53,934
Sure, anything to bring you
and Brad closer together.
110
00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:55,976
SALEM:
If that's my novel,
111
00:05:56,315 --> 00:06:00,148
heh-heh, the character Tabrina
is really a composite.
112
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,772
This is Harvey and Brad's article.
113
00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:04,568
It took them all of homeroom to write it,
so it's gotta be good.
114
00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:07,742
Hey, leave the sarcasm
to the professionals.
115
00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:09,945
You know,
I really should be supportive of Harvey
116
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:11,995
and give Brad the benefit
of the doubt.
117
00:06:12,164 --> 00:06:13,873
But I bet this article really bites.
118
00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:16,668
[LAUGHS]
119
00:06:16,835 --> 00:06:18,580
Oh, man.
120
00:06:18,754 --> 00:06:22,883
I haven't read sports writing this good
since the glory days of Jimmy Cannon.
121
00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:24,670
Oh, what would you know?
122
00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:27,252
So the phrases are witty
and the metaphors are imaginative.
123
00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:30,680
- It's still bad writing.
- Yeah, Pulitzer-bad.
124
00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:33,096
[CHUCKLES]
125
00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:35,102
Bye, monkey.
126
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,726
So it's settled.
127
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:40,057
Willard and his brother
are coming to dinner,
128
00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:43,319
and I'm going to show him
that I'm immune to Wally's charms.
129
00:06:43,529 --> 00:06:45,569
Too bad you're not immune
to Willard.
130
00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:48,189
My, but you have found a lot
of empty potion bottles.
131
00:06:48,367 --> 00:06:50,740
Not really. Suddenly I remembered,
we're witches.
132
00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:54,114
One point and we've got more empties
than Boris Yeltsin's trash can.
133
00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:55,411
Hilda.
134
00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:57,036
[TOASTER DINGS]
135
00:06:58,877 --> 00:07:01,369
"Attention: Redeeming
magically reproduced bottles
136
00:07:01,547 --> 00:07:04,999
will result in a heavy fine
and unreachable itching."
137
00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:07,133
- Good.
- Does Big Brother never sleep?
138
00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:08,756
[TOASTER DINGS]
139
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,389
"No."
140
00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:13,596
- So you wanna join us for dinner?
- No, thanks.
141
00:07:13,809 --> 00:07:15,387
I'd rather wade
through ankle-deep dust
142
00:07:15,561 --> 00:07:18,764
and breathe bacteria-laden spores
than eat with two Krafts.
143
00:07:18,981 --> 00:07:23,062
- So you'll be in the basement?
- Until I can afford Aruba.
144
00:07:23,277 --> 00:07:24,606
Oh, for Pete's sake.
145
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:27,447
No, if you won't respect my opinion
that this writing is garbage,
146
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:29,240
maybe you'll believe
some professionals.
147
00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:31,318
- Mr. Twain?
- Quite amusing.
148
00:07:31,535 --> 00:07:35,949
- Oh, stop breathing steamboat fumes.
- This essay's the thing.
149
00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:38,158
Oh, like you really wrote any
of your own plays.
150
00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:39,745
SALEM:
Miss Dickinson?
151
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,629
- This shows real talent.
- Shut-in.
152
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,876
[LIQUID BUBBLING]
153
00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:50,721
Uh-oh. You're making the sound
witches make
154
00:07:50,888 --> 00:07:53,012
when jealousy is percolating.
155
00:07:53,432 --> 00:07:54,464
I am not jealous.
156
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:56,635
I mean, just because Harvey
has a new best friend
157
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,812
who he likes more than me, and his
new friend is more talented than I am,
158
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,353
and my old best friend is in Alaska
with her new best friend, big deal.
159
00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:03,936
[LIQUID BUBBLING]
160
00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:06,820
I thought I was your best friend.
161
00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:11,158
[LIQUID BUBBLING]
162
00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:12,903
Sabrina,
are you percolating with jealousy?
163
00:08:13,118 --> 00:08:16,535
No, I'm bubbling over with ideas.
164
00:08:16,747 --> 00:08:19,453
You have to be careful, honey,
you could develop jealotosis,
165
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:21,826
a condition
where jealousy gets out of control.
166
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,459
- Well, that doesn't sound very good.
- You can fight it.
167
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:28,670
All you have to do is be very happy
for the person you're jealous of.
168
00:08:28,884 --> 00:08:32,218
So I have to accept that Harvey has a
new best friend and be happy for him.
169
00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:33,966
I can do that. I can be happy for him.
170
00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:36,299
- Well, good.
- How happy?
171
00:08:38,644 --> 00:08:40,887
Hey, Sabrina,
did you read our article?
172
00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:44,106
I still have to look at it,
but I'm happy for you.
173
00:08:44,316 --> 00:08:47,104
If it's too short, let us know
because while we were at the arcade,
174
00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:49,604
Brad thought up
a couple more great jokes.
175
00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:51,780
I'm happy for you.
176
00:08:54,243 --> 00:08:56,153
If I sometimes seem irritable,
177
00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:58,696
it's because
I have inoperable haemorrhoids.
178
00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:01,205
I'm happy for you.
179
00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:04,584
Come on, Harv, let's go work
on our Government project together.
180
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,078
[LIQUID BUBBLING]
181
00:09:07,256 --> 00:09:08,336
[SIGHS]
182
00:09:08,507 --> 00:09:10,666
I really was happy for Mr. Kraft.
183
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,595
- Sabrina.
- Oh, uh...
184
00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:17,298
Just wearing the shades to be cool.
Nothing to be concerned about.
185
00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:19,507
[DOORBELL RINGS]
186
00:09:19,685 --> 00:09:21,974
Oh, that must be Willard and Wally.
187
00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:27,815
No, no, no, even at my age,
188
00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:31,022
the right pacifier
can be really comforting.
189
00:09:31,196 --> 00:09:35,610
- Stop revealing these things to me.
- Oh, dear, the Vulnerability Spell.
190
00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:40,114
But in the deepest depths of my soul,
I still believe that--
191
00:09:40,289 --> 00:09:43,160
That was some football game
on Sunday, huh?
192
00:09:44,293 --> 00:09:46,832
Yeah, well, here goes.
193
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:53,010
- Zelda, Wally. Wally, Zelda.
- You sold her short, Willard.
194
00:09:53,177 --> 00:09:55,336
She's more beautiful
than a Monet painting.
195
00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:57,720
Oh, my, my.
196
00:09:57,890 --> 00:10:00,761
You are the second-most charming
Kraft I've ever met.
197
00:10:01,310 --> 00:10:04,265
- You've met Mother.
- Oh-ho-ho.
198
00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:06,888
And it starts.
199
00:10:07,065 --> 00:10:09,937
Someone has stolen our potions--
200
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:12,187
Oh, I'm sorry. I overdressed.
201
00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:15,157
And who is this dust storm
of enchantment?
202
00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:18,035
Hilda. But you can call me
"dust storm of enchantment."
203
00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:19,655
WALLY AND HILDA: Ha-ha-ha.
- Hilda,
204
00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:22,036
- I'd like you to meet my brother.
- Some other time.
205
00:10:22,206 --> 00:10:24,958
Right now
I'd like to get to know this cutie. Heh.
206
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:26,668
I think he likes her.
207
00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:30,751
Yes. I'm happy for them.
208
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:34,209
[SALEM GASPING]
209
00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:35,796
Sabrina, you woke me up.
210
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:38,212
Whatever happened
to quiet desperation?
211
00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:40,258
I have to find a spell
but can't see anything.
212
00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:43,559
Well, remove the shades,
Miss Pulp Fiction.
213
00:10:46,522 --> 00:10:50,770
Dear Lord, you're green with envy.
You have jealotosis.
214
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,943
Jealousy will take over you
and your world.
215
00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:55,686
[SOBBING]
All is lost.
216
00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:58,107
[NORMAL VOICE]
But I wouldn't worry about it.
217
00:11:05,207 --> 00:11:08,624
Here it is. "The cure to jealotosis:
Jealousy must run its natural course."
218
00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:12,206
Ugh. Since when did this book start
taking a holistic approach to magic?
219
00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:14,546
Maybe all you need
is a good night's sleep.
220
00:11:14,758 --> 00:11:18,839
Right, and tomorrow I'll wake up
and be happy for Harvey and Brad.
221
00:11:25,227 --> 00:11:29,142
Behold,
the first envy-powered night-light.
222
00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:37,441
[SALEM MUTTERING]
223
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:40,450
SALEM: Is the glow gone?
- You know what?
224
00:11:40,617 --> 00:11:44,153
I am so sick of Harvey
and his friend Brad always laughing,
225
00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:47,035
having fun, making plans.
226
00:11:47,249 --> 00:11:50,370
On the plus side, heh, you look rested.
227
00:11:50,586 --> 00:11:52,994
You know, Dreama's not even around
for me to hang out with.
228
00:11:53,172 --> 00:11:56,292
But you know what? I'm a witch.
I can have any best friend I want.
229
00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:00,053
Tara Lipinski.
230
00:12:00,596 --> 00:12:03,218
What's going on?
I was at the rink, and now--
231
00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:05,384
You're my new best friend.
232
00:12:05,601 --> 00:12:07,345
Come on, let's get ready for school.
233
00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:09,560
Now I have no reason
to be jealous of anyone.
234
00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:12,566
Hey, gold-metal girl,
show me a triple Lutz.
235
00:12:12,774 --> 00:12:16,191
Hey, she's my friend, not yours.
236
00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:18,571
Don't you wanna ask
about last night?
237
00:12:18,739 --> 00:12:21,361
Didn't you notice
how Wally and I really hit it off?
238
00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:23,403
No, not really.
239
00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:24,906
You know, when I'm with Willard,
240
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,286
I can't help
but shut out the rest of the world.
241
00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:30,167
Well, the feeling is mutual
on the part of the rest of the world.
242
00:12:30,334 --> 00:12:32,956
Anyway,
Wally and I have so much in common.
243
00:12:33,128 --> 00:12:35,454
He loves literature, art, science--
244
00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:37,583
You have no interest
in those subjects.
245
00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:39,378
I do now.
246
00:12:39,551 --> 00:12:41,545
Wally's gonna take me
to the van Gogh exhibit.
247
00:12:41,762 --> 00:12:42,961
You're kidding.
248
00:12:43,138 --> 00:12:45,761
I've been hinting to Willard
to take me there.
249
00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:50,097
But the Babylon 5 convention
should be culturally enriching.
250
00:12:50,646 --> 00:12:54,395
Well, I'm off to school
with my new best friend, Tara Lipinski.
251
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,483
Can't believe he's taking you
to van Gogh.
252
00:12:57,694 --> 00:13:01,195
Attention, everyone,
all detention is cancelled because:
253
00:13:01,365 --> 00:13:05,446
[SINGS]
My brother didn't steal my gal
254
00:13:07,079 --> 00:13:08,823
Man, I've never seen Mr. Kraft
so happy.
255
00:13:09,039 --> 00:13:11,911
You weren't here last year
for the public caning.
256
00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:15,752
Oh, yeah, laugh all you want,
but I've got a new best friend now too.
257
00:13:15,963 --> 00:13:18,087
Tara Lipinski. I'm in love.
258
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,375
[STUDENTS CHATTERING]
259
00:13:22,344 --> 00:13:24,836
Wow. It's great having a best friend.
260
00:13:25,055 --> 00:13:27,843
There's so many places we can go
where I can stand off to the side
261
00:13:28,058 --> 00:13:32,057
while everyone pays attention to her
and she doesn't even notice I'm alive.
262
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:41,653
Wally and I just had
the most divine lunch at Chez Maurice.
263
00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:43,774
You and Willard
have probably never been there,
264
00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:45,528
because there's no drive-through.
265
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:48,199
Willard and I
had a very nice lunch today.
266
00:13:48,370 --> 00:13:52,238
The food at Custer's has improved.
I didn't even chip a tooth this time.
267
00:13:52,457 --> 00:13:54,700
Did I show you the flowers
Wally brought me?
268
00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:57,203
Willard and I have a relationship
that's so strong,
269
00:13:57,379 --> 00:13:59,337
he doesn't need to give me presents.
270
00:13:59,548 --> 00:14:01,008
Oh, really? Oh.
271
00:14:01,175 --> 00:14:02,884
What's this, then?
272
00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:07,465
"Zelda, keep this handy
for the next monster-truck show."
273
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:09,342
Give me that.
274
00:14:10,392 --> 00:14:13,429
Sabrina, even though I'm in the middle
of a psychotic episode,
275
00:14:13,604 --> 00:14:16,309
I liked your friends, especially Brad.
276
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:19,098
Oh, yeah, everyone likes Brad,
everyone likes you.
277
00:14:19,276 --> 00:14:22,278
Well, you know what? You can just
find yourself a new best friend.
278
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:26,524
Sabrina, would you remove
your dark glasses, dear?
279
00:14:26,742 --> 00:14:28,819
Oh, I would,
but it's like a tanning salon in here.
280
00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:30,780
Sabrina.
281
00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:35,997
Oh, no,
you've got full-blown jealotosis.
282
00:14:36,210 --> 00:14:37,919
Or a lousy brand of contacts.
283
00:14:38,128 --> 00:14:39,873
I know.
I'm gonna hide away in your room.
284
00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:42,331
- My room?
- It's better than my little dinky one.
285
00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:45,337
Oh, wow, this is a bad case
if she's envying your decor.
286
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:47,012
Sabrina, you can't hide away.
287
00:14:47,221 --> 00:14:49,629
Jealotosis can't run its course
unless you're out in public
288
00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:52,476
encountering people
who have things you want.
289
00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:56,220
Wow, you know so much.
I envy that. Stop.
290
00:14:56,438 --> 00:14:59,559
Honey, when you're older,
it'll be easier to control your jealousy.
291
00:14:59,775 --> 00:15:01,768
Oh, like the way
you're controlling your jealousy
292
00:15:01,944 --> 00:15:03,569
over my relationship with Wally?
293
00:15:03,779 --> 00:15:06,615
Oh, I'm afraid
you're confusing jealousy with pity.
294
00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:08,402
Why don't I have someone
to argue with?
295
00:15:08,617 --> 00:15:11,453
Sabrina, go back to school
and envy someone your own age.
296
00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:17,283
Cool outfit. See? That was good.
I wasn't jealous at all.
297
00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:19,785
I got an A. I got an A.
298
00:15:20,003 --> 00:15:21,914
Hey, why should you get an A
and not me?
299
00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:23,756
- You're not in the class?
- Right.
300
00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:25,633
And I didn't even wanna
be in that class.
301
00:15:25,801 --> 00:15:28,886
And I'm not jealous of you a bit.
Not a bit.
302
00:15:29,888 --> 00:15:31,348
- Hi, Sabrina.
- You seem happy.
303
00:15:31,515 --> 00:15:33,722
I don't wanna be happy.
That's not something I crave.
304
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:36,260
- You read the article?
- Yeah, but I'm not publishing it. Ha!
305
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:39,438
There. Now you're not so happy
anymore, are you, Se?or Happy?
306
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,315
Now you got nothing I want.
307
00:15:43,569 --> 00:15:45,693
- Hey, Sabrina.
- Don't try to act innocent with me.
308
00:15:45,863 --> 00:15:49,612
I saw you cosying up to the lunch lady.
What does it for you, support hose?
309
00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:51,777
- Ah. Are you okay?
- Why wouldn't I be?
310
00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:53,198
I'm a better writer than Brad,
311
00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:56,289
and I look better in a hairnet
than Mrs. Hornbuckle.
312
00:15:57,124 --> 00:15:58,702
What's the matter, jealous?
313
00:15:58,876 --> 00:16:01,415
I don't care if you have a secret.
I don't like secrets.
314
00:16:01,587 --> 00:16:02,702
What's the secret?
315
00:16:02,921 --> 00:16:04,998
I'm really glad
that you and Hilda have hit it off
316
00:16:05,174 --> 00:16:06,633
because she never cared much
for me.
317
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,126
Well, that's what's great
about my relationship with her.
318
00:16:09,303 --> 00:16:10,928
We seem to agree on everything.
319
00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:12,757
[BOTH LAUGH]
320
00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:15,050
Why should Mr. Kraft
have a best friend and not me?
321
00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:16,886
Why should he get to be happy
and not me?
322
00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:21,688
Why does he--?
Oh, no. I'm jealous of Mr. Kraft.
323
00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:25,894
[WATER SPLASHING]
324
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:27,769
Salem, where am I?
325
00:16:27,946 --> 00:16:32,194
Congratulations, Sabrina,
you're in the Jealous Sea.
326
00:16:32,409 --> 00:16:33,525
The Jealous Sea?
327
00:16:33,744 --> 00:16:36,615
I didn't come up with the name,
I just work here, so get off my back.
328
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:37,862
Well, what is this place?
329
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,583
It's your kind of place,
330
00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:43,660
a place where you have everything
and everyone else has nothing.
331
00:16:46,798 --> 00:16:48,507
My classmates,
what happened to them?
332
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:51,298
SALEM: Good news.
They all had to drop out of school.
333
00:16:51,470 --> 00:16:54,472
Now they've entered the exciting field
of menial labour.
334
00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:58,057
Now you will be the only one
to get good grades.
335
00:16:58,227 --> 00:17:00,516
That's not good news, I didn't--
Hey, you missed a spot.
336
00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:02,604
- What am I saying?
KRAFT: So cold.
337
00:17:02,814 --> 00:17:07,643
No clothes, no job, no food,
and this barrel's a rental.
338
00:17:07,819 --> 00:17:10,691
Mr. Kraft.
Can't we do something for him?
339
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:13,154
Not mention that the barrel
makes him look heavy?
340
00:17:14,243 --> 00:17:17,328
Anyway, you can't be happy
as long as he's happy, right?
341
00:17:17,538 --> 00:17:18,997
But...
342
00:17:20,791 --> 00:17:21,823
Harvey.
343
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,706
Sabrina,
I don't have a best friend anymore.
344
00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:27,916
So quit your bellyaching.
You still have Sabrina.
345
00:17:28,131 --> 00:17:31,466
Yeah, but it was kind of nice
having a best friend too.
346
00:17:31,635 --> 00:17:33,047
I'm gonna miss him.
347
00:17:33,262 --> 00:17:35,884
I know, that's exactly how I felt
when Valerie moved away.
348
00:17:36,098 --> 00:17:37,723
I don't want you
to go through that too.
349
00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:40,977
- Salem, do something.
- This is what you wanted.
350
00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:42,225
I didn't want this.
351
00:17:42,396 --> 00:17:44,852
Oh, why couldn't I have just
been happy for Harvey?
352
00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:46,857
Yeah,
and why can't I find better work
353
00:17:47,025 --> 00:17:50,229
than being a know-it-all
in a subconscious daydream?
354
00:17:53,615 --> 00:17:55,656
- Dream?
- Sabrina?
355
00:17:55,868 --> 00:17:57,742
Sabrina, are you okay?
356
00:17:57,953 --> 00:18:00,622
If everyone has what they want,
it doesn't diminish what I have.
357
00:18:00,789 --> 00:18:03,412
- Absolutely. Did she hit her head?
- I don't know.
358
00:18:03,625 --> 00:18:05,121
No, really, think about it.
359
00:18:05,294 --> 00:18:08,331
If everyone else has great stuff,
it doesn't take away the things I have.
360
00:18:08,547 --> 00:18:11,383
I'm happy to hear you say that.
Let's go to the nurse.
361
00:18:11,550 --> 00:18:13,378
No, no, no, I'm fine.
362
00:18:14,178 --> 00:18:15,507
Can I have everyone's attention?
363
00:18:15,679 --> 00:18:17,589
I apologise
for the way I've been behaving.
364
00:18:17,806 --> 00:18:20,298
And I want you all to get good grades
and not become janitors,
365
00:18:20,475 --> 00:18:22,386
unless the custodial work
is your passion.
366
00:18:22,603 --> 00:18:25,355
Oh, Brad, I'm gonna publish the article
that you and Harvey wrote.
367
00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:27,599
- It's excellent.
- Why did you reject it before?
368
00:18:27,816 --> 00:18:29,893
Running a newspaper
is a very complicated business,
369
00:18:30,068 --> 00:18:31,564
but mainly, I was just being a jerk.
370
00:18:31,737 --> 00:18:34,145
- I gotta go apologise to Mr. Kraft now.
- Okay, that's it.
371
00:18:34,323 --> 00:18:36,447
You're going to the nurse.
372
00:18:36,658 --> 00:18:38,284
I just heard from the Other Realm.
373
00:18:38,452 --> 00:18:41,655
Sabrina's back from the Jealous Sea,
and her jealotosis is gone.
374
00:18:41,830 --> 00:18:42,910
Oh, good.
375
00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:44,618
Do you remember
when we were teenagers
376
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:46,750
and the Jealous Sea
had the best Club Med?
377
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:51,089
Yeah, it's also made me remember
that a person can be happy for others
378
00:18:51,256 --> 00:18:54,342
- without diminishing what she has.
- Uh-huh.
379
00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:57,553
And I just wanna say
that I've been acting jealous,
380
00:18:57,721 --> 00:18:58,753
and I'm sorry.
381
00:18:58,931 --> 00:19:01,008
I want you and Wally
to have a great time tonight.
382
00:19:01,225 --> 00:19:03,302
Thanks, Zellie.
I'm sure we'll enjoy the ballet.
383
00:19:03,477 --> 00:19:06,395
I mean, handsome men in tights,
how bad can it be? Ha-ha.
384
00:19:06,605 --> 00:19:08,100
- The ballet?
- Uh-huh.
385
00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:12,361
I mentioned that to Willard
months ago, and I get nothing.
386
00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:14,646
[RUMBLING]
387
00:19:21,620 --> 00:19:25,204
I'm glad I didn't tell you
we have orchestra seats.
388
00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:27,449
Oh, let me guess.
389
00:19:27,626 --> 00:19:29,999
This is the way mature witches
handle their jealousy.
390
00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:32,793
I can't believe I blew like that.
391
00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:35,214
What is your problem?
Do you wanna date Wally?
392
00:19:35,425 --> 00:19:38,178
No, I'm not jealous
because he likes you.
393
00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:40,552
I'm jealous because Wally takes you
to all the places
394
00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:42,597
I want Willard to take me.
395
00:19:42,808 --> 00:19:44,386
I may be a younger,
less mature witch,
396
00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:47,010
but it seems that if you want Mr. Kraft
to take you places,
397
00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:49,810
instead of waiting for him to ask you,
why don't you ask him?
398
00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:53,440
You're right. I'm going to.
399
00:19:53,610 --> 00:19:56,696
I'm going to ask Willard Kraft
to the ballet.
400
00:19:56,905 --> 00:19:58,982
[MUSIC FROM "SWAN LAKE"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
401
00:20:01,827 --> 00:20:03,904
[SNORING]
402
00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:10,872
- Hey.
- Oh, hi, Harvey.
403
00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:15,126
Hey, I understand the article
you and Brad wrote was a big hit.
404
00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:16,421
People seemed to like it.
405
00:20:16,592 --> 00:20:18,881
Like it? You should've seen
he and Brad walk into class.
406
00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:22,672
It was like Lillian Hellman walking
into Sardi's after The Little Foxes.
407
00:20:22,890 --> 00:20:24,551
So you ready to start the next one?
408
00:20:24,766 --> 00:20:26,725
Yeah, let's go get Brad
and start brainstorming.
409
00:20:26,894 --> 00:20:29,931
You know what? Do you think just
the two of us could work on this one?
410
00:20:30,147 --> 00:20:31,179
- Really?
- Yeah.
411
00:20:31,356 --> 00:20:32,816
I don't know if you're aware of it,
412
00:20:32,983 --> 00:20:35,605
but Brad and I have been
spending a lot of time together lately.
413
00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:38,186
Really? Heh. I hadn't noticed.
414
00:20:45,412 --> 00:20:48,200
- So how was your date with Harvey?
- Great, we went to the Slicery.
415
00:20:48,373 --> 00:20:50,700
All of our friends were there,
most of them at our table,
416
00:20:50,876 --> 00:20:53,249
so we're gonna ease
into the "spending time alone" thing.
417
00:20:53,462 --> 00:20:56,250
- How was your date with Wally?
- Well, he's not really my type.
418
00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:59,793
We didn't have that much in common,
and I really don't like his cologne.
419
00:21:00,010 --> 00:21:01,636
- So are you going out again?
- Tuesday.
420
00:21:02,221 --> 00:21:05,223
I just finished an experiment.
Thought I'd save you the potion bottle.
421
00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:06,714
Oh, thanks.
422
00:21:08,018 --> 00:21:10,261
Hey, I thought you were gonna
cash those in for a trip.
423
00:21:10,479 --> 00:21:13,434
I was, and then I remembered,
I'm a witch.
424
00:21:15,067 --> 00:21:16,645
HILDA:
I'll be back when I get a tan.
425
00:21:16,695 --> 00:21:21,245
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
35261
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.