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1
00:00:01,299 --> 00:00:03,300
(fly buzzing)
2
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:07,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
3
00:00:12,811 --> 00:00:13,811
Come on, buddy.
4
00:00:13,845 --> 00:00:15,779
It doesn't have to end badly.
5
00:00:15,814 --> 00:00:18,015
Just trying to get you out safe.
6
00:00:19,017 --> 00:00:20,684
(buzzing)
7
00:00:20,719 --> 00:00:22,019
Ah...
8
00:00:23,989 --> 00:00:26,023
Are you still trying to catch that fly?
9
00:00:26,057 --> 00:00:27,558
Just kill it.
10
00:00:27,592 --> 00:00:29,560
Flies carry deadly diseases.
11
00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:31,228
Why do you think there's
a "no-fly zone"
12
00:00:31,263 --> 00:00:32,229
over the White House?
13
00:00:32,264 --> 00:00:33,264
I can't kill it.
14
00:00:33,298 --> 00:00:34,865
It's the one thing I've got.
15
00:00:34,900 --> 00:00:36,400
Nobody else in high school
16
00:00:36,434 --> 00:00:37,902
lived up to their potential.
17
00:00:37,936 --> 00:00:39,637
Kevin Kinlan, voted
"Most likely to succeed"?
18
00:00:39,671 --> 00:00:41,472
In prison for embezzlement.
19
00:00:41,506 --> 00:00:43,107
John Zachary, voted "Most athletic"?
20
00:00:43,141 --> 00:00:44,675
Now he weighs 400 pounds.
21
00:00:44,709 --> 00:00:46,877
He hasn't seen his feet or
his penis since the '90s.
22
00:00:46,912 --> 00:00:49,647
I was the guy voted
"Least likely to hurt a fly."
23
00:00:49,681 --> 00:00:51,415
I'm not going to blow it
24
00:00:51,449 --> 00:00:54,218
and wind up like
the rest of those losers.
25
00:00:54,252 --> 00:00:57,454
Oh, and those awards mean so much.
26
00:00:57,489 --> 00:00:59,757
I was voted "Most sarcastic."
27
00:00:59,791 --> 00:01:01,625
Those geniuses really nailed that one.
28
00:01:03,328 --> 00:01:04,328
I got him!
29
00:01:04,362 --> 00:01:06,163
Virginia, I got him!
(fly buzzing)
30
00:01:07,199 --> 00:01:08,299
Go home.
31
00:01:08,333 --> 00:01:10,267
Hug your wife and kiss your maggots.
32
00:01:10,302 --> 00:01:11,802
Today you live!
33
00:01:13,638 --> 00:01:15,272
No!
34
00:01:15,307 --> 00:01:16,740
Wow.
35
00:01:16,775 --> 00:01:19,877
That is gonna be a slow, slow death.
36
00:01:20,912 --> 00:01:23,047
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
37
00:01:23,081 --> 00:01:24,515
Here we go
38
00:01:24,549 --> 00:01:27,585
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
39
00:01:32,891 --> 00:01:34,892
(school bell ringing)
40
00:01:34,926 --> 00:01:36,594
Wait, wait, wait! Don't!
41
00:01:36,628 --> 00:01:38,929
Hey, don't...
Oh... (moans)
42
00:01:39,931 --> 00:01:41,932
(groans)
43
00:01:43,268 --> 00:01:44,568
(screams) Who is she?!
44
00:01:44,603 --> 00:01:45,736
Who is who?!
45
00:01:45,770 --> 00:01:47,705
And where did you get that golf club?
46
00:01:47,739 --> 00:01:49,073
- We don't even golf!
- I got it
47
00:01:49,107 --> 00:01:50,874
- in case you ever Tiger Woods'd me.
- No,
48
00:01:50,909 --> 00:01:52,009
I was sleepwalking, all right?
49
00:01:52,043 --> 00:01:53,410
I used to sleepwalk as a kid
50
00:01:53,445 --> 00:01:55,145
when-when I slept
in strange places,
51
00:01:55,180 --> 00:01:57,448
and now it's-it's
happening again.
52
00:02:06,791 --> 00:02:08,792
(engine running)
53
00:02:22,173 --> 00:02:23,307
Oh, Jimmy, that's terrible.
54
00:02:23,341 --> 00:02:25,009
We got to figure out how to fix this.
55
00:02:25,043 --> 00:02:26,510
What did your parents do?
56
00:02:26,544 --> 00:02:27,645
Well, they got me a dog collar
57
00:02:27,679 --> 00:02:29,413
and they put all my information
on the tag.
58
00:02:29,447 --> 00:02:31,582
Of course they did. The store
must have been out of leeches.
59
00:02:31,616 --> 00:02:33,684
No, no, we got all our leeches
from a guy my dad knows,
60
00:02:33,718 --> 00:02:35,486
and I'm pretty sure
they only work on chicken pox.
61
00:02:41,192 --> 00:02:43,961
(microwave running)
62
00:02:44,996 --> 00:02:46,530
Oh.
63
00:02:46,564 --> 00:02:48,065
The door to the microwave broke.
64
00:02:48,099 --> 00:02:49,433
BURT:
Here.
65
00:02:49,467 --> 00:02:52,169
Oh. I think we need to
buy a new microwave.
66
00:02:52,203 --> 00:02:53,604
No, no. It's okay.
I think I have
67
00:02:53,638 --> 00:02:54,972
a microwave in all my stuff.
68
00:02:55,006 --> 00:02:56,206
It doesn't work,
but the door's still on.
69
00:02:56,241 --> 00:02:57,441
We can just swap it out.
70
00:02:57,475 --> 00:02:59,343
All your stuff?
You got rid of all your stuff
71
00:02:59,377 --> 00:03:01,245
when you stopped hoarding.
72
00:03:01,279 --> 00:03:02,513
You told me you stopped hoarding.
73
00:03:03,748 --> 00:03:05,716
I did.
74
00:03:05,750 --> 00:03:07,618
Tell you that.
75
00:03:07,652 --> 00:03:10,788
I can't believe you lied and
told me you stopped hoarding.
76
00:03:10,822 --> 00:03:12,790
I haven't gambled once since I quit.
77
00:03:12,824 --> 00:03:15,125
I bet you $1,000
there's a bunch of other stuff
78
00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:17,061
- you're not telling me.
- Why is this open?
79
00:03:17,095 --> 00:03:18,729
Seriously. I bet you.
Right now.
80
00:03:18,763 --> 00:03:20,731
Step away from the locker!
81
00:03:20,765 --> 00:03:22,833
No, no, it's okay.
This is our stuff.
82
00:03:22,867 --> 00:03:24,668
Not anymore.
You didn't pay your rent.
83
00:03:24,703 --> 00:03:26,136
We're just airing out the contents
84
00:03:26,171 --> 00:03:27,805
before we put it up for auction.
85
00:03:27,839 --> 00:03:28,839
Hold on there.
86
00:03:28,873 --> 00:03:30,507
A working grandmother
87
00:03:30,542 --> 00:03:32,276
goes without paying for 24 months
88
00:03:32,310 --> 00:03:34,278
and you just take all her stuff?
89
00:03:34,312 --> 00:03:35,346
Romney!
90
00:03:35,380 --> 00:03:36,413
He lost, Burt.
91
00:03:36,448 --> 00:03:37,915
- Obama!
- Look,
92
00:03:37,949 --> 00:03:39,717
I don't know what to tell you.
If you want your stuff back,
93
00:03:39,751 --> 00:03:43,187
you owe $700. Other than that,
it goes to the highest bidder.
94
00:03:43,221 --> 00:03:44,388
VIRGINIA:
Hey! Hey!
95
00:03:44,422 --> 00:03:46,457
Just because you have
every right to take our stuff
96
00:03:46,491 --> 00:03:48,092
and I don't have
any argument against it
97
00:03:48,126 --> 00:03:51,261
doesn't mean I'm done
talking to you, buddy!
98
00:03:51,296 --> 00:03:54,865
Excuse me. If we could
just talk about this...
99
00:03:54,899 --> 00:03:56,667
(whispers):
Oh, my God, look.
100
00:03:56,701 --> 00:03:57,768
It's Creepy the Clown.
101
00:03:59,904 --> 00:04:02,506
VIRGINIA: Years ago, we
had a creepy clown doll
102
00:04:02,540 --> 00:04:04,241
that used to freak Jimmy out.
103
00:04:04,275 --> 00:04:05,909
BURT (gruffly):
Jimmy.
104
00:04:05,944 --> 00:04:07,511
(cackles)
105
00:04:07,545 --> 00:04:09,546
(screams)
106
00:04:10,782 --> 00:04:12,416
(laughing) It was hilarious.
107
00:04:12,450 --> 00:04:14,451
(thunder rumbling)
108
00:04:24,462 --> 00:04:28,599
(screaming)
109
00:04:28,633 --> 00:04:31,969
We didn't just torture Jimmy with it.
110
00:04:32,003 --> 00:04:34,171
We also used itto keep him out of danger.
111
00:04:37,175 --> 00:04:39,643
(screams)
112
00:04:39,677 --> 00:04:42,446
And while some thingscould shock him for a second,
113
00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:45,482
other things could scar him for life.
114
00:04:46,718 --> 00:04:49,853
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, whoa.
115
00:04:49,888 --> 00:04:52,890
We don't have the money
for that much therapy.
116
00:04:54,392 --> 00:04:56,827
So we needed to hidethe tape in a place
117
00:04:56,861 --> 00:04:59,863
we knew Jimmy would never look.
118
00:05:02,233 --> 00:05:05,202
(whistles)
119
00:05:05,236 --> 00:05:07,204
It was a perfect hiding place
120
00:05:07,238 --> 00:05:09,206
until Maw Maw decided to donate stuff
121
00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:11,208
to the church rummage sale.
122
00:05:11,242 --> 00:05:12,910
And that was the last time
123
00:05:12,944 --> 00:05:15,946
we ever sawthat creepy-looking clown.
124
00:05:18,516 --> 00:05:21,285
(zapping)
Ouch! Ouch!
125
00:05:21,319 --> 00:05:23,454
Is this unit up for auction?
126
00:05:23,488 --> 00:05:25,389
They're all up
for bid Saturday morning.
127
00:05:25,423 --> 00:05:29,393
(quietly): We've got to get our
sex tape out of that clown's ass.
128
00:05:29,427 --> 00:05:32,429
I bet nobody's ever said that before.
129
00:05:35,958 --> 00:05:37,592
JIMMY: - You ready?
- Yeah.
130
00:05:37,626 --> 00:05:39,761
(voices speaking indistinctly
on television)
131
00:05:39,795 --> 00:05:41,763
- What do you think?
- I think
132
00:05:41,797 --> 00:05:43,765
America's about to elect
a terrorist as a vice president
133
00:05:43,799 --> 00:05:46,301
if somebody doesn't start
listening to Claire Danes.
134
00:05:46,335 --> 00:05:47,302
Oh,
135
00:05:47,336 --> 00:05:49,404
you mean your sleep apnea mask.
136
00:05:49,438 --> 00:05:50,972
If it prevents you from sleepwalking,
137
00:05:51,006 --> 00:05:52,073
I think it's great.
138
00:05:52,108 --> 00:05:53,942
I think I look like a fighter pilot.
139
00:05:53,976 --> 00:05:55,410
You get to pretend you're sleeping
140
00:05:55,444 --> 00:05:56,711
with Tom Cruise tonight.
141
00:05:56,745 --> 00:05:58,780
- Ooh. Okay.
- Maybe get
142
00:05:58,814 --> 00:06:00,048
into a little "risky business."
143
00:06:00,082 --> 00:06:01,149
Is there any way I can prevent you
144
00:06:01,183 --> 00:06:02,350
from ruining my Homeland marathon
145
00:06:02,384 --> 00:06:04,152
by making bad Tom Cruise
references all night?
146
00:06:04,186 --> 00:06:05,620
That's a "mission impossible."
147
00:06:06,989 --> 00:06:09,624
Get ready for "the firm."
148
00:06:09,658 --> 00:06:10,992
'Cause I'm about to make it "rain...
149
00:06:11,861 --> 00:06:13,161
...man."
150
00:06:13,195 --> 00:06:14,362
(groans)
151
00:06:14,396 --> 00:06:16,397
(birds chirping)
152
00:06:20,870 --> 00:06:23,838
Aw, not again!
153
00:06:23,873 --> 00:06:27,008
(sighs)
154
00:06:27,042 --> 00:06:29,010
Yo!
155
00:06:34,750 --> 00:06:35,884
What are you doing?
156
00:06:35,918 --> 00:06:37,285
The guy at the storage space
157
00:06:37,319 --> 00:06:39,721
said those auctions go up to 500 bucks.
158
00:06:39,755 --> 00:06:40,989
So if we want to get
159
00:06:41,023 --> 00:06:41,990
our sex tape back,
160
00:06:42,024 --> 00:06:43,291
we need to make some quick cash,
161
00:06:43,325 --> 00:06:44,993
and I'm willing to try anything.
162
00:06:45,027 --> 00:06:47,996
Which is something whoever gets
that tape is gonna find out.
163
00:06:48,030 --> 00:06:49,564
But you can't sell the van.
164
00:06:49,598 --> 00:06:52,000
Why not? Jimmy and Sabrina
have a new car.
165
00:06:52,034 --> 00:06:54,369
I have a car, you have your work truck.
166
00:06:54,403 --> 00:06:57,572
Maw Maw won this scooter in
a poker game with Mrs. Peables.
167
00:06:57,606 --> 00:06:59,741
Even after the stroke,
she still doesn't have
168
00:06:59,775 --> 00:07:01,376
much of a poker face.
169
00:07:02,711 --> 00:07:04,879
I know we don't need the van, but...
170
00:07:04,914 --> 00:07:06,814
it's like a part of the family.
171
00:07:06,849 --> 00:07:09,050
It has so many special memories.
172
00:07:09,084 --> 00:07:11,586
(creaking)
173
00:07:19,094 --> 00:07:20,562
(chuckles)
174
00:07:20,596 --> 00:07:23,331
If there was a Tongue Hall of
Fame, Burt, you'd be in it.
175
00:07:23,365 --> 00:07:25,500
And-and if there was
a Tongue Nobel Prize,
176
00:07:25,534 --> 00:07:27,101
you'd have a whole shelf full.
177
00:07:27,136 --> 00:07:28,770
(chuckling)
178
00:07:28,804 --> 00:07:30,705
Ah, that's it!
179
00:07:30,739 --> 00:07:33,074
I can't listen to this tape anymore.
180
00:07:33,108 --> 00:07:34,042
It's been stuck
181
00:07:34,076 --> 00:07:36,244
in there since I bought the van.
182
00:07:36,278 --> 00:07:37,679
Ah.
183
00:07:37,713 --> 00:07:39,247
(grunts)
184
00:07:46,722 --> 00:07:48,723
Not again.
185
00:07:54,597 --> 00:07:56,231
I can't do it.
186
00:07:56,265 --> 00:07:57,799
We're not selling the van.
187
00:07:57,833 --> 00:07:59,434
You're gonna have to find
something else to sell.
188
00:08:00,836 --> 00:08:03,071
BARNEY:
Hmm, clarity in the hooves.
189
00:08:03,105 --> 00:08:05,807
Perfectly symmetrical snout holes.
190
00:08:05,841 --> 00:08:09,677
Only the tiny hands
of a scared Chinese child
191
00:08:09,712 --> 00:08:12,080
can achieve that craftsmanship.
192
00:08:12,114 --> 00:08:14,282
But I don't see the one
you know I want.
193
00:08:14,316 --> 00:08:15,717
I brought you everything I have.
194
00:08:15,751 --> 00:08:17,385
This is all I've got.
195
00:08:17,419 --> 00:08:18,953
I've been to your house, Virginia.
196
00:08:18,988 --> 00:08:22,090
I want your Swiney Todd, the
Demon Butcher of Meat Street,
197
00:08:22,124 --> 00:08:23,925
wanted for multiple ham-icides.
198
00:08:23,959 --> 00:08:27,428
The worst-selling character
in Pigurine history, and thus...
199
00:08:27,463 --> 00:08:28,830
the rarest.
200
00:08:29,865 --> 00:08:31,866
(groans) Fine.
201
00:08:34,436 --> 00:08:35,803
I'll sell it to you.
202
00:08:35,838 --> 00:08:37,171
But just so you know,
203
00:08:37,206 --> 00:08:39,741
I consider this highway hoggery.
204
00:08:42,811 --> 00:08:46,214
H-Hoggery. (laughs)
I got it. I got it.
205
00:08:46,248 --> 00:08:48,216
(laughs)
206
00:08:48,250 --> 00:08:50,151
I just came up with that.
207
00:08:51,186 --> 00:08:54,322
Where you been?
208
00:08:54,356 --> 00:08:57,158
(quietly): Operation Steal Our
Microwave Door successful.
209
00:08:57,192 --> 00:08:58,226
MAN: All right, we're gonna start
the bidding at five dollars.
210
00:08:58,260 --> 00:08:59,427
Somebody give me five,
somebody give me five.
211
00:08:59,461 --> 00:09:01,262
I got five right there.
Anybody with six?
212
00:09:01,297 --> 00:09:03,164
- Six!
- Six dollars. Can I get seven?
213
00:09:03,198 --> 00:09:04,532
- Seven!
- Seven, I got seven. I got seven.
214
00:09:04,566 --> 00:09:06,768
- $20!
- $20! Right over there, $20...
215
00:09:06,802 --> 00:09:08,594
Frank, what the hell?
216
00:09:08,637 --> 00:09:10,038
Look, I don't know
why you want this locker,
217
00:09:10,072 --> 00:09:11,698
but I'll make you a deal. 21!
218
00:09:11,740 --> 00:09:13,241
You let us win this locker,
219
00:09:13,275 --> 00:09:15,501
we'll give you everything inside
except for that
220
00:09:15,536 --> 00:09:17,337
cute little clown doll for Hope.
221
00:09:17,371 --> 00:09:18,972
You can keep the doll,
222
00:09:19,006 --> 00:09:21,983
but I get to keep the sex tape inside.
223
00:09:22,851 --> 00:09:25,044
Oh, I know.
224
00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:28,045
_
225
00:09:28,782 --> 00:09:30,083
What's going on there?
226
00:09:30,117 --> 00:09:31,651
Yeah, my mom's selling
some of her Pigurines
227
00:09:31,685 --> 00:09:34,253
to bid on a storage unit
that has her sex tape in it.
228
00:09:36,724 --> 00:09:38,725
- $100!
- I got $100 right there!
229
00:09:38,759 --> 00:09:40,360
$125!
(man shouts)
230
00:09:40,394 --> 00:09:41,995
- $200!
- $300!
231
00:09:42,029 --> 00:09:43,663
- $400!
- $400 right there!
232
00:09:43,697 --> 00:09:46,032
What? - I know how much Jimmy
makes at the grocery store.
233
00:09:46,066 --> 00:09:48,001
- Where'd you get that kind of money?
- I won 800 bucks
234
00:09:48,035 --> 00:09:50,370
coming in second place
at a demolition derby.
235
00:09:50,404 --> 00:09:51,904
My Pacer is totaled.
236
00:09:51,939 --> 00:09:55,641
Look. If you care about me
as a friend at all...
237
00:09:55,676 --> 00:09:57,577
$450! You won't do this.
238
00:09:57,611 --> 00:09:59,479
Okay, fine.
I'll make you a deal.
239
00:09:59,513 --> 00:10:01,547
$475! You can keep the tape,
240
00:10:01,582 --> 00:10:03,049
but I would like to rent it
on occasion.
241
00:10:03,083 --> 00:10:04,817
$480! Okay, but just once.
242
00:10:04,852 --> 00:10:07,086
$485! Go on.
243
00:10:07,121 --> 00:10:08,388
You have to watch it at our house,
244
00:10:08,422 --> 00:10:10,690
and you have to keep
your pants on. $490!
245
00:10:10,724 --> 00:10:13,559
No rewinds, no copies, no pauses.
246
00:10:13,594 --> 00:10:16,562
$495! One pause,
eight seconds long.
247
00:10:16,597 --> 00:10:18,197
- Fine!
- Deal!
248
00:10:18,232 --> 00:10:21,701
- $500!
- $500! $500 going once...
249
00:10:21,735 --> 00:10:23,503
$500 going twice...
250
00:10:23,537 --> 00:10:26,372
- sold, $500! Come on in.
- Yes!
251
00:10:26,407 --> 00:10:28,408
(chuckles)
252
00:10:29,743 --> 00:10:32,211
What? There's no hole!
253
00:10:32,246 --> 00:10:33,880
Oh, my God!
254
00:10:33,914 --> 00:10:37,050
I just sold my Pigurines and blew $500
255
00:10:37,084 --> 00:10:40,353
on the wrong stuffed clown that
doesn't have our sex tape in it.
256
00:10:40,387 --> 00:10:42,055
Don't beat yourself up about it.
257
00:10:42,089 --> 00:10:44,724
I'm sure this happens to
people all the time. (groans)
258
00:10:44,758 --> 00:10:46,392
(whimpers)
259
00:10:50,389 --> 00:10:54,859
I don't know if exercising
is gonna be the answer
260
00:10:54,894 --> 00:10:58,696
to my sleepwalking, and plus,
I kind of feel ridiculous.
261
00:10:58,731 --> 00:11:01,199
SABRINA: Yeah, well, last
night you walked through town
262
00:11:01,233 --> 00:11:03,635
in your boxer shorts
and my fuzzy slippers, so...
263
00:11:03,669 --> 00:11:05,503
I think this is worth a shot.
264
00:11:05,537 --> 00:11:07,639
Hey.
265
00:11:07,673 --> 00:11:09,374
Either your parents
are having a yard sale
266
00:11:09,408 --> 00:11:11,175
or your house finally threw up.
267
00:11:11,210 --> 00:11:12,510
Yeah, talk about a lot
of stuff I don't need.
268
00:11:12,544 --> 00:11:13,645
I already got
269
00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:15,313
the wolf blanket, I got that
same bikini poster girl...
270
00:11:15,347 --> 00:11:16,381
Wait a second.
271
00:11:16,415 --> 00:11:17,415
What are you guys doing?
272
00:11:17,449 --> 00:11:18,683
Oh, your mother's having a yard sale
273
00:11:18,717 --> 00:11:20,084
so she can buy back her Pigurines.
274
00:11:20,119 --> 00:11:21,519
I'm selling all the stuff we got
275
00:11:21,553 --> 00:11:22,687
from that storage unit we won
276
00:11:22,721 --> 00:11:23,821
along with some of your crap.
277
00:11:23,856 --> 00:11:26,658
You just can't sell my stuff!
278
00:11:26,692 --> 00:11:30,194
This is 100% authentic bathtub gin
279
00:11:30,229 --> 00:11:33,498
passed down to me by
my great aunt, Blind Lizzy,
280
00:11:33,532 --> 00:11:36,267
to her daughter, Blind Betty,
and then finally her sons,
281
00:11:36,302 --> 00:11:40,438
Blind Barry and Sightless Sam,
who spoke the recipe to me.
282
00:11:40,472 --> 00:11:41,873
Ten bucks a jar,
283
00:11:41,907 --> 00:11:44,075
'cause this is probably
the last batch I can make
284
00:11:44,109 --> 00:11:46,611
'cause my eyes aren't
what they used to be.
285
00:11:46,645 --> 00:11:47,946
Thank you.
286
00:11:47,980 --> 00:11:49,514
How much for this photo album?
287
00:11:49,548 --> 00:11:50,448
Two dollars.
288
00:11:50,482 --> 00:11:51,649
I don't want the pictures.
289
00:11:51,684 --> 00:11:53,885
Looking at other people's
memories makes me sad.
290
00:11:53,919 --> 00:11:57,055
Sorry, we got this stuff from
somebody else's storage space.
291
00:11:57,089 --> 00:11:59,791
Huh. That's actually a
pretty cute baby right there.
292
00:11:59,825 --> 00:12:01,259
Wow, what a happy family.
293
00:12:01,293 --> 00:12:04,095
He looks so peaceful
sleeping in his bassinet.
294
00:12:04,129 --> 00:12:06,164
Hey... it's that one
right there.
295
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:11,469
And there he is learning
to ride that bike!
296
00:12:12,938 --> 00:12:15,473
Are you gonna sell me the book
or narrate every photo?
297
00:12:15,507 --> 00:12:17,976
This album's not for sale.
298
00:12:18,010 --> 00:12:19,344
There's a family out there
299
00:12:19,378 --> 00:12:21,279
who would love to have
these wonderful memories.
300
00:12:21,313 --> 00:12:23,548
You can go buy some of my
son's crap over there.
301
00:12:23,582 --> 00:12:25,116
What are you doing?
302
00:12:25,150 --> 00:12:26,584
Virginia, we can't sell this stuff,
303
00:12:26,618 --> 00:12:27,885
It's not ours.
304
00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:29,921
The people in these pictures
are gonna want it back.
305
00:12:29,955 --> 00:12:33,024
This is the history of their
courtship and their marriage...
306
00:12:33,058 --> 00:12:35,259
and their underwater birth.
307
00:12:35,294 --> 00:12:36,794
Oh, scratch that.
308
00:12:36,829 --> 00:12:38,429
They're just went snorkeling
with a baby sea otter.
309
00:12:38,464 --> 00:12:40,431
Well, I need money
to get my Pigurines back.
310
00:12:40,466 --> 00:12:42,800
Fine. I'll sell the van.
311
00:12:47,940 --> 00:12:51,609
Well, the shocks still work.
312
00:12:51,643 --> 00:12:53,411
(sighing)
313
00:12:53,445 --> 00:12:56,114
Now all I need is some good-looking
friends and a talking dog
314
00:12:56,148 --> 00:12:59,250
and my mystery-solving
business is up and running.
315
00:13:01,820 --> 00:13:04,222
(choking):
I'm gonna miss her.
316
00:13:04,256 --> 00:13:05,757
If you want, I can pick you up
317
00:13:05,791 --> 00:13:07,458
every now and then
and take you for a ride.
318
00:13:07,493 --> 00:13:10,728
No. I think that'll just
confuse the van.
319
00:13:57,943 --> 00:13:59,577
(quietly):
Jimmy?
320
00:14:02,781 --> 00:14:04,582
(sighing)
321
00:14:04,616 --> 00:14:06,784
I can't believe you sold
the van for strangers,
322
00:14:06,819 --> 00:14:09,554
but when I wanted to get the
tape back to keep my dignity,
323
00:14:09,588 --> 00:14:10,721
you wouldn't even listen.
324
00:14:10,756 --> 00:14:12,323
I only sold it to help you buy back
325
00:14:12,357 --> 00:14:13,825
your precious Pigurines.
326
00:14:13,859 --> 00:14:15,827
I told you that, but you
don't listen to me.
327
00:14:15,861 --> 00:14:17,028
I don't listen to you?
328
00:14:17,062 --> 00:14:18,162
You don't listen to me.
329
00:14:18,197 --> 00:14:19,764
I'm not listening to this.
330
00:14:23,268 --> 00:14:24,502
- Hey.
- Hi.
331
00:14:24,536 --> 00:14:26,704
We found a bunch of mail
with this address on it
332
00:14:26,738 --> 00:14:28,506
in an old storage unit and
we're trying to find out
333
00:14:28,540 --> 00:14:30,174
who it belongs to so we can
return all their stuff.
334
00:14:30,209 --> 00:14:32,577
Burt! Virginia!
I know who you are.
335
00:14:32,611 --> 00:14:34,378
Christine, get over here!
336
00:14:35,147 --> 00:14:36,914
Hi.
337
00:14:36,949 --> 00:14:38,015
Oh.
338
00:14:38,050 --> 00:14:40,184
It's Burt and Virginia.
339
00:14:40,219 --> 00:14:42,019
How do you know us?
340
00:14:42,054 --> 00:14:44,188
From your sex tape.
341
00:14:44,223 --> 00:14:46,224
Oh, God. Oh, my God.
342
00:14:46,258 --> 00:14:47,692
Oh, my God!
343
00:14:47,726 --> 00:14:50,194
That's exactly how she
says it on the tape! - I know!
344
00:14:59,491 --> 00:15:01,158
(slight snicker)
345
00:15:01,193 --> 00:15:02,626
(whispering):
I know.
346
00:15:04,996 --> 00:15:05,930
Burt, I almost didn't recognize you
347
00:15:05,964 --> 00:15:08,666
with your contemporary hairstyle.
348
00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:11,333
Virginia, have you kept up with
contemporary grooming trends?
349
00:15:11,470 --> 00:15:13,337
I'm a little uncomfortable
350
00:15:13,372 --> 00:15:15,973
with how comfortable
you two are with us.
351
00:15:16,007 --> 00:15:18,008
Oh, no, it's just that
we've seen your tape
352
00:15:18,043 --> 00:15:19,477
like, a thousand times.
353
00:15:19,511 --> 00:15:22,947
Yeah, you said that...
like, 2,000 times.
354
00:15:22,981 --> 00:15:24,982
I remember the day we got it.
355
00:15:25,016 --> 00:15:27,051
We were getting ready to move
356
00:15:27,085 --> 00:15:28,652
into my brother-in-law'sguest house
357
00:15:28,687 --> 00:15:30,855
and we bought a bunch of thingsat the church rummage sale,
358
00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:34,191
but we got more than we paid for.
359
00:15:36,828 --> 00:15:38,629
I wasn't really a sex tape kind of guy,
360
00:15:38,663 --> 00:15:40,398
but we'd been fighting and I thought,
361
00:15:40,432 --> 00:15:42,933
hey, this mightshake us out of our rut.
362
00:15:48,473 --> 00:15:50,274
I've never seen anything like this.
363
00:15:50,308 --> 00:15:52,610
Why don't we ever role play
as a maid and a yard guy
364
00:15:52,644 --> 00:15:54,879
doing it in an old haunted house?
365
00:15:57,649 --> 00:15:59,116
Your tape was heaven-sent.
366
00:15:59,151 --> 00:16:00,885
We watched it almost every night.
367
00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:02,853
Yeah, we even started showing it
to our sons, Dominic and Logan.
368
00:16:02,888 --> 00:16:04,121
What?!
369
00:16:04,156 --> 00:16:06,357
I hope, for your kids' sake,
they're blind and deaf.
370
00:16:06,391 --> 00:16:07,591
Oh, no, no, no. It's not,
it's not like that.
371
00:16:07,626 --> 00:16:10,361
No, Jimmy, um, edited out
all the sex parts.
372
00:16:10,395 --> 00:16:12,029
You guys had such
an amazing relationship
373
00:16:12,063 --> 00:16:13,864
that we took a triple-X
and made it into a "G"
374
00:16:13,899 --> 00:16:16,467
so we could use it as a
teaching tool for relationships.
375
00:16:16,501 --> 00:16:17,501
Check it out.
376
00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:20,171
NARRATOR:
Compassion.
377
00:16:21,673 --> 00:16:22,973
(fly buzzing) Oh, no, no, Burt.
378
00:16:23,008 --> 00:16:25,276
It flew over back by the door.
379
00:16:25,310 --> 00:16:27,311
Come here, buddy.
I'm not gonna hurt you.
380
00:16:27,345 --> 00:16:28,679
It's all about catch and release.
381
00:16:28,713 --> 00:16:31,515
(grunting):
Come... aww...
382
00:16:31,550 --> 00:16:33,651
(murmuring):
Come here.
383
00:16:33,685 --> 00:16:36,654
I got him! I got him!
384
00:16:40,358 --> 00:16:41,559
I love how nice you are
385
00:16:41,593 --> 00:16:43,160
to all of God's creatures.
386
00:16:43,195 --> 00:16:44,995
I could never hurt a fly.
387
00:16:45,030 --> 00:16:47,731
NARRATOR:
Understanding.
388
00:16:47,766 --> 00:16:51,469
(panting, sighing)
389
00:16:51,503 --> 00:16:53,938
You got, like, 12 alarm
clocks under the bed.
390
00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:55,906
I don't know.
391
00:16:55,941 --> 00:16:59,577
I just keep buying them just in case.
392
00:16:59,611 --> 00:17:00,711
You don't think I'm, like,
393
00:17:00,745 --> 00:17:03,914
one of those crazy hoarders, do you?
394
00:17:03,949 --> 00:17:05,149
No.
395
00:17:05,183 --> 00:17:07,651
No, you're just being prepared.
396
00:17:07,686 --> 00:17:10,020
I imagine one day, of us
is going to have a job
397
00:17:10,055 --> 00:17:13,123
that'll require us
to be somewhere on time.
398
00:17:13,158 --> 00:17:14,892
NARRATOR:
Listening.
399
00:17:14,926 --> 00:17:16,727
I think it's your turn to start
400
00:17:16,761 --> 00:17:18,395
'cause I ripped off your
clothes last time.
401
00:17:18,430 --> 00:17:19,797
Oh, speaking of rip-offs,
402
00:17:19,831 --> 00:17:22,166
the Johnsons told me they want
to change landscapers today
403
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:24,702
after I trimmed all their trees.
404
00:17:24,736 --> 00:17:27,071
I spent hours trying
to nail the branches back on,
405
00:17:27,105 --> 00:17:29,106
then I just gave up
and I peed in the pool.
406
00:17:29,140 --> 00:17:32,176
Oh, it's for the best.
407
00:17:32,210 --> 00:17:34,545
Those people treated you like crap,
408
00:17:34,579 --> 00:17:36,447
they never paid you on time,
409
00:17:36,481 --> 00:17:38,249
and I could always
hear the stress in your voice
410
00:17:38,283 --> 00:17:40,384
every time you went over there.
411
00:17:40,418 --> 00:17:42,620
This landscaping thing
is only temporary.
412
00:17:42,654 --> 00:17:44,889
Your rock band is about to take off.
413
00:17:49,361 --> 00:17:50,628
Oh, my God.
414
00:17:50,662 --> 00:17:51,929
Burt, do you believe that?
415
00:17:51,963 --> 00:17:53,264
I know.
416
00:17:53,298 --> 00:17:55,165
I thought we were the only
ones who still had a VCR.
417
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:56,400
Me, too!
418
00:17:56,434 --> 00:17:59,436
God, I'm so glad to hear
that's what you were thinking.
419
00:17:59,471 --> 00:18:00,604
I feel like we've been so out of sync
420
00:18:00,639 --> 00:18:01,939
the last couple of weeks.
421
00:18:01,973 --> 00:18:04,675
It's like we lost something,
but I'm not sure what.
422
00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:06,911
Well, if I had to pick
three things out of thin air,
423
00:18:06,945 --> 00:18:08,913
I'd say compassion,
424
00:18:08,947 --> 00:18:11,482
understanding and maybe listening.
425
00:18:11,516 --> 00:18:13,951
No, Burt, you know what it is?
426
00:18:13,985 --> 00:18:15,319
It's listening,
427
00:18:15,353 --> 00:18:18,489
and I'm sorry if I haven't been.
428
00:18:18,523 --> 00:18:19,957
Me, too.
429
00:18:24,362 --> 00:18:25,796
No, no, no.
430
00:18:25,830 --> 00:18:28,699
We are not filming
a sequel here, weirdoes.
431
00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:29,833
And we want our sex tape back.
432
00:18:29,868 --> 00:18:31,869
No. You can't.
We need it.
433
00:18:31,903 --> 00:18:32,970
I thought we were friends.
434
00:18:33,004 --> 00:18:34,939
We barely know you.
435
00:18:34,973 --> 00:18:36,707
How 'bout we buy it from you?
436
00:18:36,741 --> 00:18:37,875
- No way.
- Eight hundred.
437
00:18:37,909 --> 00:18:39,710
Deal. I'll get
my checkbook.
438
00:18:39,744 --> 00:18:41,145
Virginia, what are you doing?
439
00:18:41,179 --> 00:18:42,780
I want to get your van back
440
00:18:42,814 --> 00:18:44,982
and sacrifice for you
the way you sacrificed for me
441
00:18:45,016 --> 00:18:46,817
to get my Pigurines back.
442
00:18:52,891 --> 00:18:54,558
Could you stop staring at me?
443
00:18:54,593 --> 00:18:57,561
I know your mind's blown meeting
"Virginia from the sex tape,"
444
00:18:57,596 --> 00:19:00,164
but you're making me
feel self-conscious.
445
00:19:00,198 --> 00:19:01,732
Actually, um, I was just,
446
00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:03,701
I was wondering about
that-that mole that you have
447
00:19:03,735 --> 00:19:05,202
on your left butt cheek.
448
00:19:05,236 --> 00:19:06,804
Did you ever get that checked out?
449
00:19:08,340 --> 00:19:09,573
We have to go.
450
00:19:09,608 --> 00:19:10,708
Okay.
451
00:19:13,211 --> 00:19:14,478
SABRINA:
That's it! That's it!
452
00:19:14,512 --> 00:19:15,646
I got it!
453
00:19:17,716 --> 00:19:19,483
Whoa. Hey, what's
going on?
454
00:19:19,517 --> 00:19:20,718
Mmm,
455
00:19:20,752 --> 00:19:22,052
I had to figure this out.
456
00:19:22,087 --> 00:19:23,454
I just couldn't take it anymore.
457
00:19:23,488 --> 00:19:26,090
I knew there had to be
an answer to this mystery
458
00:19:26,124 --> 00:19:26,991
and I just wasn't going to sleep
459
00:19:27,025 --> 00:19:28,058
until I figured it out.
460
00:19:28,093 --> 00:19:30,928
Jimmy, you have been
sleepwalking your whole life.
461
00:19:31,963 --> 00:19:33,931
I'm not gonna let that happen again.
462
00:19:33,965 --> 00:19:34,932
So I asked myself,
463
00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:36,867
what do all your
sleepwalks have in common?
464
00:19:36,901 --> 00:19:38,902
The red pins are where
you've been falling asleep,
465
00:19:38,937 --> 00:19:41,872
and the blue pins are
where you've been waking up.
466
00:19:41,906 --> 00:19:42,940
So if you extend this line,
467
00:19:42,974 --> 00:19:44,842
you'll see that you've been walking
468
00:19:44,876 --> 00:19:48,212
towards the same place, okay?
469
00:19:48,246 --> 00:19:50,047
This is your Mecca.
470
00:19:50,081 --> 00:19:51,649
This is your homeland,
471
00:19:51,683 --> 00:19:52,916
the Chance residence.
472
00:19:52,951 --> 00:19:54,885
Yeah, but just now, I woke up
473
00:19:54,919 --> 00:19:56,053
in the dining room.
474
00:19:56,087 --> 00:19:57,755
That's where your stuff is.
475
00:19:58,790 --> 00:20:00,391
Oh, yeah!
476
00:20:00,425 --> 00:20:01,558
That's right!
477
00:20:01,593 --> 00:20:05,329
Why doesn't anybody ever believe me?!
478
00:20:05,363 --> 00:20:08,065
I believe you, I believe you,
479
00:20:08,099 --> 00:20:10,367
but I will say, you were a lot more fun
480
00:20:10,402 --> 00:20:12,469
when your favorite show was
Californication.
481
00:20:12,504 --> 00:20:14,538
482
00:20:14,572 --> 00:20:16,774
JIMMY: People like to say,
"home is where the heart is,"
483
00:20:16,808 --> 00:20:19,910
but I kind of thinkhome is where your stuff is.
484
00:20:19,944 --> 00:20:21,045
You sure you don't mind
485
00:20:21,079 --> 00:20:22,980
me putting all my old junk
in this room?
486
00:20:23,014 --> 00:20:24,448
It's our room.
487
00:20:24,482 --> 00:20:25,949
Plus, I still have my old
college bulletin board
488
00:20:25,984 --> 00:20:27,184
and I got lots of my old stuff.
489
00:20:27,218 --> 00:20:28,719
Just look in the closet.
490
00:20:31,990 --> 00:20:33,724
Ahhhhhhh!
491
00:20:33,758 --> 00:20:35,726
Your parents were right.
492
00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:37,294
That's hilarious.
493
00:20:37,328 --> 00:20:39,763
494
00:20:39,798 --> 00:20:41,298
JIMMY:
Turns out I wasn't the only one
495
00:20:41,332 --> 00:20:43,967
who had an emotional attachmentto their stuff.
496
00:20:44,002 --> 00:20:46,203
497
00:20:46,237 --> 00:20:47,337
Oh.
498
00:20:56,748 --> 00:20:58,315
Don't worry.
499
00:20:58,349 --> 00:21:00,984
We never have to discuss
how he drove you.
500
00:21:01,019 --> 00:21:02,753
(chuckling)
501
00:21:02,787 --> 00:21:04,888
JIMMY: And some people
just can't get enough
502
00:21:04,923 --> 00:21:06,490
of other people's stuff.
503
00:21:06,524 --> 00:21:10,861
504
00:21:13,364 --> 00:21:14,998
Mostly, I was really glad
505
00:21:15,033 --> 00:21:18,302
to have all thatsleepwalking behind me...
506
00:21:18,336 --> 00:21:21,222
until I found out it was hereditary.
507
00:21:30,065 --> 00:21:35,228
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
508
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,139
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509
00:21:39,189 --> 00:21:43,739
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