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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,299 --> 00:00:03,300 (fly buzzing) 2 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:07,074 Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org 3 00:00:12,811 --> 00:00:13,811 Come on, buddy. 4 00:00:13,845 --> 00:00:15,779 It doesn't have to end badly. 5 00:00:15,814 --> 00:00:18,015 Just trying to get you out safe. 6 00:00:19,017 --> 00:00:20,684 (buzzing) 7 00:00:20,719 --> 00:00:22,019 Ah... 8 00:00:23,989 --> 00:00:26,023 Are you still trying to catch that fly? 9 00:00:26,057 --> 00:00:27,558 Just kill it. 10 00:00:27,592 --> 00:00:29,560 Flies carry deadly diseases. 11 00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:31,228 Why do you think there's a "no-fly zone" 12 00:00:31,263 --> 00:00:32,229 over the White House? 13 00:00:32,264 --> 00:00:33,264 I can't kill it. 14 00:00:33,298 --> 00:00:34,865 It's the one thing I've got. 15 00:00:34,900 --> 00:00:36,400 Nobody else in high school 16 00:00:36,434 --> 00:00:37,902 lived up to their potential. 17 00:00:37,936 --> 00:00:39,637 Kevin Kinlan, voted "Most likely to succeed"? 18 00:00:39,671 --> 00:00:41,472 In prison for embezzlement. 19 00:00:41,506 --> 00:00:43,107 John Zachary, voted "Most athletic"? 20 00:00:43,141 --> 00:00:44,675 Now he weighs 400 pounds. 21 00:00:44,709 --> 00:00:46,877 He hasn't seen his feet or his penis since the '90s. 22 00:00:46,912 --> 00:00:49,647 I was the guy voted "Least likely to hurt a fly." 23 00:00:49,681 --> 00:00:51,415 I'm not going to blow it 24 00:00:51,449 --> 00:00:54,218 and wind up like the rest of those losers. 25 00:00:54,252 --> 00:00:57,454 Oh, and those awards mean so much. 26 00:00:57,489 --> 00:00:59,757 I was voted "Most sarcastic." 27 00:00:59,791 --> 00:01:01,625 Those geniuses really nailed that one. 28 00:01:03,328 --> 00:01:04,328 I got him! 29 00:01:04,362 --> 00:01:06,163 Virginia, I got him! (fly buzzing) 30 00:01:07,199 --> 00:01:08,299 Go home. 31 00:01:08,333 --> 00:01:10,267 Hug your wife and kiss your maggots. 32 00:01:10,302 --> 00:01:11,802 Today you live! 33 00:01:13,638 --> 00:01:15,272 No! 34 00:01:15,307 --> 00:01:16,740 Wow. 35 00:01:16,775 --> 00:01:19,877 That is gonna be a slow, slow death. 36 00:01:20,912 --> 00:01:23,047 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 37 00:01:23,081 --> 00:01:24,515 Here we go 38 00:01:24,549 --> 00:01:27,585 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! 39 00:01:32,891 --> 00:01:34,892 (school bell ringing) 40 00:01:34,926 --> 00:01:36,594 Wait, wait, wait! Don't! 41 00:01:36,628 --> 00:01:38,929 Hey, don't... Oh... (moans) 42 00:01:39,931 --> 00:01:41,932 (groans) 43 00:01:43,268 --> 00:01:44,568 (screams) Who is she?! 44 00:01:44,603 --> 00:01:45,736 Who is who?! 45 00:01:45,770 --> 00:01:47,705 And where did you get that golf club? 46 00:01:47,739 --> 00:01:49,073 - We don't even golf! - I got it 47 00:01:49,107 --> 00:01:50,874 - in case you ever Tiger Woods'd me. - No, 48 00:01:50,909 --> 00:01:52,009 I was sleepwalking, all right? 49 00:01:52,043 --> 00:01:53,410 I used to sleepwalk as a kid 50 00:01:53,445 --> 00:01:55,145 when-when I slept in strange places, 51 00:01:55,180 --> 00:01:57,448 and now it's-it's happening again. 52 00:02:06,791 --> 00:02:08,792 (engine running) 53 00:02:22,173 --> 00:02:23,307 Oh, Jimmy, that's terrible. 54 00:02:23,341 --> 00:02:25,009 We got to figure out how to fix this. 55 00:02:25,043 --> 00:02:26,510 What did your parents do? 56 00:02:26,544 --> 00:02:27,645 Well, they got me a dog collar 57 00:02:27,679 --> 00:02:29,413 and they put all my information on the tag. 58 00:02:29,447 --> 00:02:31,582 Of course they did. The store must have been out of leeches. 59 00:02:31,616 --> 00:02:33,684 No, no, we got all our leeches from a guy my dad knows, 60 00:02:33,718 --> 00:02:35,486 and I'm pretty sure they only work on chicken pox. 61 00:02:41,192 --> 00:02:43,961 (microwave running) 62 00:02:44,996 --> 00:02:46,530 Oh. 63 00:02:46,564 --> 00:02:48,065 The door to the microwave broke. 64 00:02:48,099 --> 00:02:49,433 BURT: Here. 65 00:02:49,467 --> 00:02:52,169 Oh. I think we need to buy a new microwave. 66 00:02:52,203 --> 00:02:53,604 No, no. It's okay. I think I have 67 00:02:53,638 --> 00:02:54,972 a microwave in all my stuff. 68 00:02:55,006 --> 00:02:56,206 It doesn't work, but the door's still on. 69 00:02:56,241 --> 00:02:57,441 We can just swap it out. 70 00:02:57,475 --> 00:02:59,343 All your stuff? You got rid of all your stuff 71 00:02:59,377 --> 00:03:01,245 when you stopped hoarding. 72 00:03:01,279 --> 00:03:02,513 You told me you stopped hoarding. 73 00:03:03,748 --> 00:03:05,716 I did. 74 00:03:05,750 --> 00:03:07,618 Tell you that. 75 00:03:07,652 --> 00:03:10,788 I can't believe you lied and told me you stopped hoarding. 76 00:03:10,822 --> 00:03:12,790 I haven't gambled once since I quit. 77 00:03:12,824 --> 00:03:15,125 I bet you $1,000 there's a bunch of other stuff 78 00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:17,061 - you're not telling me. - Why is this open? 79 00:03:17,095 --> 00:03:18,729 Seriously. I bet you. Right now. 80 00:03:18,763 --> 00:03:20,731 Step away from the locker! 81 00:03:20,765 --> 00:03:22,833 No, no, it's okay. This is our stuff. 82 00:03:22,867 --> 00:03:24,668 Not anymore. You didn't pay your rent. 83 00:03:24,703 --> 00:03:26,136 We're just airing out the contents 84 00:03:26,171 --> 00:03:27,805 before we put it up for auction. 85 00:03:27,839 --> 00:03:28,839 Hold on there. 86 00:03:28,873 --> 00:03:30,507 A working grandmother 87 00:03:30,542 --> 00:03:32,276 goes without paying for 24 months 88 00:03:32,310 --> 00:03:34,278 and you just take all her stuff? 89 00:03:34,312 --> 00:03:35,346 Romney! 90 00:03:35,380 --> 00:03:36,413 He lost, Burt. 91 00:03:36,448 --> 00:03:37,915 - Obama! - Look, 92 00:03:37,949 --> 00:03:39,717 I don't know what to tell you. If you want your stuff back, 93 00:03:39,751 --> 00:03:43,187 you owe $700. Other than that, it goes to the highest bidder. 94 00:03:43,221 --> 00:03:44,388 VIRGINIA: Hey! Hey! 95 00:03:44,422 --> 00:03:46,457 Just because you have every right to take our stuff 96 00:03:46,491 --> 00:03:48,092 and I don't have any argument against it 97 00:03:48,126 --> 00:03:51,261 doesn't mean I'm done talking to you, buddy! 98 00:03:51,296 --> 00:03:54,865 Excuse me. If we could just talk about this... 99 00:03:54,899 --> 00:03:56,667 (whispers): Oh, my God, look. 100 00:03:56,701 --> 00:03:57,768 It's Creepy the Clown. 101 00:03:59,904 --> 00:04:02,506 VIRGINIA: Years ago, we had a creepy clown doll 102 00:04:02,540 --> 00:04:04,241 that used to freak Jimmy out. 103 00:04:04,275 --> 00:04:05,909 BURT (gruffly): Jimmy. 104 00:04:05,944 --> 00:04:07,511 (cackles) 105 00:04:07,545 --> 00:04:09,546 (screams) 106 00:04:10,782 --> 00:04:12,416 (laughing) It was hilarious. 107 00:04:12,450 --> 00:04:14,451 (thunder rumbling) 108 00:04:24,462 --> 00:04:28,599 (screaming) 109 00:04:28,633 --> 00:04:31,969 We didn't just torture Jimmy with it. 110 00:04:32,003 --> 00:04:34,171 We also used it to keep him out of danger. 111 00:04:37,175 --> 00:04:39,643 (screams) 112 00:04:39,677 --> 00:04:42,446 And while some things could shock him for a second, 113 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:45,482 other things could scar him for life. 114 00:04:46,718 --> 00:04:49,853 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa. 115 00:04:49,888 --> 00:04:52,890 We don't have the money for that much therapy. 116 00:04:54,392 --> 00:04:56,827 So we needed to hide the tape in a place 117 00:04:56,861 --> 00:04:59,863 we knew Jimmy would never look. 118 00:05:02,233 --> 00:05:05,202 (whistles) 119 00:05:05,236 --> 00:05:07,204 It was a perfect hiding place 120 00:05:07,238 --> 00:05:09,206 until Maw Maw decided to donate stuff 121 00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:11,208 to the church rummage sale. 122 00:05:11,242 --> 00:05:12,910 And that was the last time 123 00:05:12,944 --> 00:05:15,946 we ever saw that creepy-looking clown. 124 00:05:18,516 --> 00:05:21,285 (zapping) Ouch! Ouch! 125 00:05:21,319 --> 00:05:23,454 Is this unit up for auction? 126 00:05:23,488 --> 00:05:25,389 They're all up for bid Saturday morning. 127 00:05:25,423 --> 00:05:29,393 (quietly): We've got to get our sex tape out of that clown's ass. 128 00:05:29,427 --> 00:05:32,429 I bet nobody's ever said that before. 129 00:05:35,958 --> 00:05:37,592 JIMMY: - You ready? - Yeah. 130 00:05:37,626 --> 00:05:39,761 (voices speaking indistinctly on television) 131 00:05:39,795 --> 00:05:41,763 - What do you think? - I think 132 00:05:41,797 --> 00:05:43,765 America's about to elect a terrorist as a vice president 133 00:05:43,799 --> 00:05:46,301 if somebody doesn't start listening to Claire Danes. 134 00:05:46,335 --> 00:05:47,302 Oh, 135 00:05:47,336 --> 00:05:49,404 you mean your sleep apnea mask. 136 00:05:49,438 --> 00:05:50,972 If it prevents you from sleepwalking, 137 00:05:51,006 --> 00:05:52,073 I think it's great. 138 00:05:52,108 --> 00:05:53,942 I think I look like a fighter pilot. 139 00:05:53,976 --> 00:05:55,410 You get to pretend you're sleeping 140 00:05:55,444 --> 00:05:56,711 with Tom Cruise tonight. 141 00:05:56,745 --> 00:05:58,780 - Ooh. Okay. - Maybe get 142 00:05:58,814 --> 00:06:00,048 into a little "risky business." 143 00:06:00,082 --> 00:06:01,149 Is there any way I can prevent you 144 00:06:01,183 --> 00:06:02,350 from ruining my Homeland marathon 145 00:06:02,384 --> 00:06:04,152 by making bad Tom Cruise references all night? 146 00:06:04,186 --> 00:06:05,620 That's a "mission impossible." 147 00:06:06,989 --> 00:06:09,624 Get ready for "the firm." 148 00:06:09,658 --> 00:06:10,992 'Cause I'm about to make it "rain... 149 00:06:11,861 --> 00:06:13,161 ...man." 150 00:06:13,195 --> 00:06:14,362 (groans) 151 00:06:14,396 --> 00:06:16,397 (birds chirping) 152 00:06:20,870 --> 00:06:23,838 Aw, not again! 153 00:06:23,873 --> 00:06:27,008 (sighs) 154 00:06:27,042 --> 00:06:29,010 Yo! 155 00:06:34,750 --> 00:06:35,884 What are you doing? 156 00:06:35,918 --> 00:06:37,285 The guy at the storage space 157 00:06:37,319 --> 00:06:39,721 said those auctions go up to 500 bucks. 158 00:06:39,755 --> 00:06:40,989 So if we want to get 159 00:06:41,023 --> 00:06:41,990 our sex tape back, 160 00:06:42,024 --> 00:06:43,291 we need to make some quick cash, 161 00:06:43,325 --> 00:06:44,993 and I'm willing to try anything. 162 00:06:45,027 --> 00:06:47,996 Which is something whoever gets that tape is gonna find out. 163 00:06:48,030 --> 00:06:49,564 But you can't sell the van. 164 00:06:49,598 --> 00:06:52,000 Why not? Jimmy and Sabrina have a new car. 165 00:06:52,034 --> 00:06:54,369 I have a car, you have your work truck. 166 00:06:54,403 --> 00:06:57,572 Maw Maw won this scooter in a poker game with Mrs. Peables. 167 00:06:57,606 --> 00:06:59,741 Even after the stroke, she still doesn't have 168 00:06:59,775 --> 00:07:01,376 much of a poker face. 169 00:07:02,711 --> 00:07:04,879 I know we don't need the van, but... 170 00:07:04,914 --> 00:07:06,814 it's like a part of the family. 171 00:07:06,849 --> 00:07:09,050 It has so many special memories. 172 00:07:09,084 --> 00:07:11,586 (creaking) 173 00:07:19,094 --> 00:07:20,562 (chuckles) 174 00:07:20,596 --> 00:07:23,331 If there was a Tongue Hall of Fame, Burt, you'd be in it. 175 00:07:23,365 --> 00:07:25,500 And-and if there was a Tongue Nobel Prize, 176 00:07:25,534 --> 00:07:27,101 you'd have a whole shelf full. 177 00:07:27,136 --> 00:07:28,770 (chuckling) 178 00:07:28,804 --> 00:07:30,705 Ah, that's it! 179 00:07:30,739 --> 00:07:33,074 I can't listen to this tape anymore. 180 00:07:33,108 --> 00:07:34,042 It's been stuck 181 00:07:34,076 --> 00:07:36,244 in there since I bought the van. 182 00:07:36,278 --> 00:07:37,679 Ah. 183 00:07:37,713 --> 00:07:39,247 (grunts) 184 00:07:46,722 --> 00:07:48,723 Not again. 185 00:07:54,597 --> 00:07:56,231 I can't do it. 186 00:07:56,265 --> 00:07:57,799 We're not selling the van. 187 00:07:57,833 --> 00:07:59,434 You're gonna have to find something else to sell. 188 00:08:00,836 --> 00:08:03,071 BARNEY: Hmm, clarity in the hooves. 189 00:08:03,105 --> 00:08:05,807 Perfectly symmetrical snout holes. 190 00:08:05,841 --> 00:08:09,677 Only the tiny hands of a scared Chinese child 191 00:08:09,712 --> 00:08:12,080 can achieve that craftsmanship. 192 00:08:12,114 --> 00:08:14,282 But I don't see the one you know I want. 193 00:08:14,316 --> 00:08:15,717 I brought you everything I have. 194 00:08:15,751 --> 00:08:17,385 This is all I've got. 195 00:08:17,419 --> 00:08:18,953 I've been to your house, Virginia. 196 00:08:18,988 --> 00:08:22,090 I want your Swiney Todd, the Demon Butcher of Meat Street, 197 00:08:22,124 --> 00:08:23,925 wanted for multiple ham-icides. 198 00:08:23,959 --> 00:08:27,428 The worst-selling character in Pigurine history, and thus... 199 00:08:27,463 --> 00:08:28,830 the rarest. 200 00:08:29,865 --> 00:08:31,866 (groans) Fine. 201 00:08:34,436 --> 00:08:35,803 I'll sell it to you. 202 00:08:35,838 --> 00:08:37,171 But just so you know, 203 00:08:37,206 --> 00:08:39,741 I consider this highway hoggery. 204 00:08:42,811 --> 00:08:46,214 H-Hoggery. (laughs) I got it. I got it. 205 00:08:46,248 --> 00:08:48,216 (laughs) 206 00:08:48,250 --> 00:08:50,151 I just came up with that. 207 00:08:51,186 --> 00:08:54,322 Where you been? 208 00:08:54,356 --> 00:08:57,158 (quietly): Operation Steal Our Microwave Door successful. 209 00:08:57,192 --> 00:08:58,226 MAN: All right, we're gonna start the bidding at five dollars. 210 00:08:58,260 --> 00:08:59,427 Somebody give me five, somebody give me five. 211 00:08:59,461 --> 00:09:01,262 I got five right there. Anybody with six? 212 00:09:01,297 --> 00:09:03,164 - Six! - Six dollars. Can I get seven? 213 00:09:03,198 --> 00:09:04,532 - Seven! - Seven, I got seven. I got seven. 214 00:09:04,566 --> 00:09:06,768 - $20! - $20! Right over there, $20... 215 00:09:06,802 --> 00:09:08,594 Frank, what the hell? 216 00:09:08,637 --> 00:09:10,038 Look, I don't know why you want this locker, 217 00:09:10,072 --> 00:09:11,698 but I'll make you a deal. 21! 218 00:09:11,740 --> 00:09:13,241 You let us win this locker, 219 00:09:13,275 --> 00:09:15,501 we'll give you everything inside except for that 220 00:09:15,536 --> 00:09:17,337 cute little clown doll for Hope. 221 00:09:17,371 --> 00:09:18,972 You can keep the doll, 222 00:09:19,006 --> 00:09:21,983 but I get to keep the sex tape inside. 223 00:09:22,851 --> 00:09:25,044 Oh, I know. 224 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:28,045 _ 225 00:09:28,782 --> 00:09:30,083 What's going on there? 226 00:09:30,117 --> 00:09:31,651 Yeah, my mom's selling some of her Pigurines 227 00:09:31,685 --> 00:09:34,253 to bid on a storage unit that has her sex tape in it. 228 00:09:36,724 --> 00:09:38,725 - $100! - I got $100 right there! 229 00:09:38,759 --> 00:09:40,360 $125! (man shouts) 230 00:09:40,394 --> 00:09:41,995 - $200! - $300! 231 00:09:42,029 --> 00:09:43,663 - $400! - $400 right there! 232 00:09:43,697 --> 00:09:46,032 What? - I know how much Jimmy makes at the grocery store. 233 00:09:46,066 --> 00:09:48,001 - Where'd you get that kind of money? - I won 800 bucks 234 00:09:48,035 --> 00:09:50,370 coming in second place at a demolition derby. 235 00:09:50,404 --> 00:09:51,904 My Pacer is totaled. 236 00:09:51,939 --> 00:09:55,641 Look. If you care about me as a friend at all... 237 00:09:55,676 --> 00:09:57,577 $450! You won't do this. 238 00:09:57,611 --> 00:09:59,479 Okay, fine. I'll make you a deal. 239 00:09:59,513 --> 00:10:01,547 $475! You can keep the tape, 240 00:10:01,582 --> 00:10:03,049 but I would like to rent it on occasion. 241 00:10:03,083 --> 00:10:04,817 $480! Okay, but just once. 242 00:10:04,852 --> 00:10:07,086 $485! Go on. 243 00:10:07,121 --> 00:10:08,388 You have to watch it at our house, 244 00:10:08,422 --> 00:10:10,690 and you have to keep your pants on. $490! 245 00:10:10,724 --> 00:10:13,559 No rewinds, no copies, no pauses. 246 00:10:13,594 --> 00:10:16,562 $495! One pause, eight seconds long. 247 00:10:16,597 --> 00:10:18,197 - Fine! - Deal! 248 00:10:18,232 --> 00:10:21,701 - $500! - $500! $500 going once... 249 00:10:21,735 --> 00:10:23,503 $500 going twice... 250 00:10:23,537 --> 00:10:26,372 - sold, $500! Come on in. - Yes! 251 00:10:26,407 --> 00:10:28,408 (chuckles) 252 00:10:29,743 --> 00:10:32,211 What? There's no hole! 253 00:10:32,246 --> 00:10:33,880 Oh, my God! 254 00:10:33,914 --> 00:10:37,050 I just sold my Pigurines and blew $500 255 00:10:37,084 --> 00:10:40,353 on the wrong stuffed clown that doesn't have our sex tape in it. 256 00:10:40,387 --> 00:10:42,055 Don't beat yourself up about it. 257 00:10:42,089 --> 00:10:44,724 I'm sure this happens to people all the time. (groans) 258 00:10:44,758 --> 00:10:46,392 (whimpers) 259 00:10:50,389 --> 00:10:54,859 I don't know if exercising is gonna be the answer 260 00:10:54,894 --> 00:10:58,696 to my sleepwalking, and plus, I kind of feel ridiculous. 261 00:10:58,731 --> 00:11:01,199 SABRINA: Yeah, well, last night you walked through town 262 00:11:01,233 --> 00:11:03,635 in your boxer shorts and my fuzzy slippers, so... 263 00:11:03,669 --> 00:11:05,503 I think this is worth a shot. 264 00:11:05,537 --> 00:11:07,639 Hey. 265 00:11:07,673 --> 00:11:09,374 Either your parents are having a yard sale 266 00:11:09,408 --> 00:11:11,175 or your house finally threw up. 267 00:11:11,210 --> 00:11:12,510 Yeah, talk about a lot of stuff I don't need. 268 00:11:12,544 --> 00:11:13,645 I already got 269 00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:15,313 the wolf blanket, I got that same bikini poster girl... 270 00:11:15,347 --> 00:11:16,381 Wait a second. 271 00:11:16,415 --> 00:11:17,415 What are you guys doing? 272 00:11:17,449 --> 00:11:18,683 Oh, your mother's having a yard sale 273 00:11:18,717 --> 00:11:20,084 so she can buy back her Pigurines. 274 00:11:20,119 --> 00:11:21,519 I'm selling all the stuff we got 275 00:11:21,553 --> 00:11:22,687 from that storage unit we won 276 00:11:22,721 --> 00:11:23,821 along with some of your crap. 277 00:11:23,856 --> 00:11:26,658 You just can't sell my stuff! 278 00:11:26,692 --> 00:11:30,194 This is 100% authentic bathtub gin 279 00:11:30,229 --> 00:11:33,498 passed down to me by my great aunt, Blind Lizzy, 280 00:11:33,532 --> 00:11:36,267 to her daughter, Blind Betty, and then finally her sons, 281 00:11:36,302 --> 00:11:40,438 Blind Barry and Sightless Sam, who spoke the recipe to me. 282 00:11:40,472 --> 00:11:41,873 Ten bucks a jar, 283 00:11:41,907 --> 00:11:44,075 'cause this is probably the last batch I can make 284 00:11:44,109 --> 00:11:46,611 'cause my eyes aren't what they used to be. 285 00:11:46,645 --> 00:11:47,946 Thank you. 286 00:11:47,980 --> 00:11:49,514 How much for this photo album? 287 00:11:49,548 --> 00:11:50,448 Two dollars. 288 00:11:50,482 --> 00:11:51,649 I don't want the pictures. 289 00:11:51,684 --> 00:11:53,885 Looking at other people's memories makes me sad. 290 00:11:53,919 --> 00:11:57,055 Sorry, we got this stuff from somebody else's storage space. 291 00:11:57,089 --> 00:11:59,791 Huh. That's actually a pretty cute baby right there. 292 00:11:59,825 --> 00:12:01,259 Wow, what a happy family. 293 00:12:01,293 --> 00:12:04,095 He looks so peaceful sleeping in his bassinet. 294 00:12:04,129 --> 00:12:06,164 Hey... it's that one right there. 295 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:11,469 And there he is learning to ride that bike! 296 00:12:12,938 --> 00:12:15,473 Are you gonna sell me the book or narrate every photo? 297 00:12:15,507 --> 00:12:17,976 This album's not for sale. 298 00:12:18,010 --> 00:12:19,344 There's a family out there 299 00:12:19,378 --> 00:12:21,279 who would love to have these wonderful memories. 300 00:12:21,313 --> 00:12:23,548 You can go buy some of my son's crap over there. 301 00:12:23,582 --> 00:12:25,116 What are you doing? 302 00:12:25,150 --> 00:12:26,584 Virginia, we can't sell this stuff, 303 00:12:26,618 --> 00:12:27,885 It's not ours. 304 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:29,921 The people in these pictures are gonna want it back. 305 00:12:29,955 --> 00:12:33,024 This is the history of their courtship and their marriage... 306 00:12:33,058 --> 00:12:35,259 and their underwater birth. 307 00:12:35,294 --> 00:12:36,794 Oh, scratch that. 308 00:12:36,829 --> 00:12:38,429 They're just went snorkeling with a baby sea otter. 309 00:12:38,464 --> 00:12:40,431 Well, I need money to get my Pigurines back. 310 00:12:40,466 --> 00:12:42,800 Fine. I'll sell the van. 311 00:12:47,940 --> 00:12:51,609 Well, the shocks still work. 312 00:12:51,643 --> 00:12:53,411 (sighing) 313 00:12:53,445 --> 00:12:56,114 Now all I need is some good-looking friends and a talking dog 314 00:12:56,148 --> 00:12:59,250 and my mystery-solving business is up and running. 315 00:13:01,820 --> 00:13:04,222 (choking): I'm gonna miss her. 316 00:13:04,256 --> 00:13:05,757 If you want, I can pick you up 317 00:13:05,791 --> 00:13:07,458 every now and then and take you for a ride. 318 00:13:07,493 --> 00:13:10,728 No. I think that'll just confuse the van. 319 00:13:57,943 --> 00:13:59,577 (quietly): Jimmy? 320 00:14:02,781 --> 00:14:04,582 (sighing) 321 00:14:04,616 --> 00:14:06,784 I can't believe you sold the van for strangers, 322 00:14:06,819 --> 00:14:09,554 but when I wanted to get the tape back to keep my dignity, 323 00:14:09,588 --> 00:14:10,721 you wouldn't even listen. 324 00:14:10,756 --> 00:14:12,323 I only sold it to help you buy back 325 00:14:12,357 --> 00:14:13,825 your precious Pigurines. 326 00:14:13,859 --> 00:14:15,827 I told you that, but you don't listen to me. 327 00:14:15,861 --> 00:14:17,028 I don't listen to you? 328 00:14:17,062 --> 00:14:18,162 You don't listen to me. 329 00:14:18,197 --> 00:14:19,764 I'm not listening to this. 330 00:14:23,268 --> 00:14:24,502 - Hey. - Hi. 331 00:14:24,536 --> 00:14:26,704 We found a bunch of mail with this address on it 332 00:14:26,738 --> 00:14:28,506 in an old storage unit and we're trying to find out 333 00:14:28,540 --> 00:14:30,174 who it belongs to so we can return all their stuff. 334 00:14:30,209 --> 00:14:32,577 Burt! Virginia! I know who you are. 335 00:14:32,611 --> 00:14:34,378 Christine, get over here! 336 00:14:35,147 --> 00:14:36,914 Hi. 337 00:14:36,949 --> 00:14:38,015 Oh. 338 00:14:38,050 --> 00:14:40,184 It's Burt and Virginia. 339 00:14:40,219 --> 00:14:42,019 How do you know us? 340 00:14:42,054 --> 00:14:44,188 From your sex tape. 341 00:14:44,223 --> 00:14:46,224 Oh, God. Oh, my God. 342 00:14:46,258 --> 00:14:47,692 Oh, my God! 343 00:14:47,726 --> 00:14:50,194 That's exactly how she says it on the tape! - I know! 344 00:14:59,491 --> 00:15:01,158 (slight snicker) 345 00:15:01,193 --> 00:15:02,626 (whispering): I know. 346 00:15:04,996 --> 00:15:05,930 Burt, I almost didn't recognize you 347 00:15:05,964 --> 00:15:08,666 with your contemporary hairstyle. 348 00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:11,333 Virginia, have you kept up with contemporary grooming trends? 349 00:15:11,470 --> 00:15:13,337 I'm a little uncomfortable 350 00:15:13,372 --> 00:15:15,973 with how comfortable you two are with us. 351 00:15:16,007 --> 00:15:18,008 Oh, no, it's just that we've seen your tape 352 00:15:18,043 --> 00:15:19,477 like, a thousand times. 353 00:15:19,511 --> 00:15:22,947 Yeah, you said that... like, 2,000 times. 354 00:15:22,981 --> 00:15:24,982 I remember the day we got it. 355 00:15:25,016 --> 00:15:27,051 We were getting ready to move 356 00:15:27,085 --> 00:15:28,652 into my brother-in-law's guest house 357 00:15:28,687 --> 00:15:30,855 and we bought a bunch of things at the church rummage sale, 358 00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:34,191 but we got more than we paid for. 359 00:15:36,828 --> 00:15:38,629 I wasn't really a sex tape kind of guy, 360 00:15:38,663 --> 00:15:40,398 but we'd been fighting and I thought, 361 00:15:40,432 --> 00:15:42,933 hey, this might shake us out of our rut. 362 00:15:48,473 --> 00:15:50,274 I've never seen anything like this. 363 00:15:50,308 --> 00:15:52,610 Why don't we ever role play as a maid and a yard guy 364 00:15:52,644 --> 00:15:54,879 doing it in an old haunted house? 365 00:15:57,649 --> 00:15:59,116 Your tape was heaven-sent. 366 00:15:59,151 --> 00:16:00,885 We watched it almost every night. 367 00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:02,853 Yeah, we even started showing it to our sons, Dominic and Logan. 368 00:16:02,888 --> 00:16:04,121 What?! 369 00:16:04,156 --> 00:16:06,357 I hope, for your kids' sake, they're blind and deaf. 370 00:16:06,391 --> 00:16:07,591 Oh, no, no, no. It's not, it's not like that. 371 00:16:07,626 --> 00:16:10,361 No, Jimmy, um, edited out all the sex parts. 372 00:16:10,395 --> 00:16:12,029 You guys had such an amazing relationship 373 00:16:12,063 --> 00:16:13,864 that we took a triple-X and made it into a "G" 374 00:16:13,899 --> 00:16:16,467 so we could use it as a teaching tool for relationships. 375 00:16:16,501 --> 00:16:17,501 Check it out. 376 00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:20,171 NARRATOR: Compassion. 377 00:16:21,673 --> 00:16:22,973 (fly buzzing) Oh, no, no, Burt. 378 00:16:23,008 --> 00:16:25,276 It flew over back by the door. 379 00:16:25,310 --> 00:16:27,311 Come here, buddy. I'm not gonna hurt you. 380 00:16:27,345 --> 00:16:28,679 It's all about catch and release. 381 00:16:28,713 --> 00:16:31,515 (grunting): Come... aww... 382 00:16:31,550 --> 00:16:33,651 (murmuring): Come here. 383 00:16:33,685 --> 00:16:36,654 I got him! I got him! 384 00:16:40,358 --> 00:16:41,559 I love how nice you are 385 00:16:41,593 --> 00:16:43,160 to all of God's creatures. 386 00:16:43,195 --> 00:16:44,995 I could never hurt a fly. 387 00:16:45,030 --> 00:16:47,731 NARRATOR: Understanding. 388 00:16:47,766 --> 00:16:51,469 (panting, sighing) 389 00:16:51,503 --> 00:16:53,938 You got, like, 12 alarm clocks under the bed. 390 00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:55,906 I don't know. 391 00:16:55,941 --> 00:16:59,577 I just keep buying them just in case. 392 00:16:59,611 --> 00:17:00,711 You don't think I'm, like, 393 00:17:00,745 --> 00:17:03,914 one of those crazy hoarders, do you? 394 00:17:03,949 --> 00:17:05,149 No. 395 00:17:05,183 --> 00:17:07,651 No, you're just being prepared. 396 00:17:07,686 --> 00:17:10,020 I imagine one day, of us is going to have a job 397 00:17:10,055 --> 00:17:13,123 that'll require us to be somewhere on time. 398 00:17:13,158 --> 00:17:14,892 NARRATOR: Listening. 399 00:17:14,926 --> 00:17:16,727 I think it's your turn to start 400 00:17:16,761 --> 00:17:18,395 'cause I ripped off your clothes last time. 401 00:17:18,430 --> 00:17:19,797 Oh, speaking of rip-offs, 402 00:17:19,831 --> 00:17:22,166 the Johnsons told me they want to change landscapers today 403 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:24,702 after I trimmed all their trees. 404 00:17:24,736 --> 00:17:27,071 I spent hours trying to nail the branches back on, 405 00:17:27,105 --> 00:17:29,106 then I just gave up and I peed in the pool. 406 00:17:29,140 --> 00:17:32,176 Oh, it's for the best. 407 00:17:32,210 --> 00:17:34,545 Those people treated you like crap, 408 00:17:34,579 --> 00:17:36,447 they never paid you on time, 409 00:17:36,481 --> 00:17:38,249 and I could always hear the stress in your voice 410 00:17:38,283 --> 00:17:40,384 every time you went over there. 411 00:17:40,418 --> 00:17:42,620 This landscaping thing is only temporary. 412 00:17:42,654 --> 00:17:44,889 Your rock band is about to take off. 413 00:17:49,361 --> 00:17:50,628 Oh, my God. 414 00:17:50,662 --> 00:17:51,929 Burt, do you believe that? 415 00:17:51,963 --> 00:17:53,264 I know. 416 00:17:53,298 --> 00:17:55,165 I thought we were the only ones who still had a VCR. 417 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:56,400 Me, too! 418 00:17:56,434 --> 00:17:59,436 God, I'm so glad to hear that's what you were thinking. 419 00:17:59,471 --> 00:18:00,604 I feel like we've been so out of sync 420 00:18:00,639 --> 00:18:01,939 the last couple of weeks. 421 00:18:01,973 --> 00:18:04,675 It's like we lost something, but I'm not sure what. 422 00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:06,911 Well, if I had to pick three things out of thin air, 423 00:18:06,945 --> 00:18:08,913 I'd say compassion, 424 00:18:08,947 --> 00:18:11,482 understanding and maybe listening. 425 00:18:11,516 --> 00:18:13,951 No, Burt, you know what it is? 426 00:18:13,985 --> 00:18:15,319 It's listening, 427 00:18:15,353 --> 00:18:18,489 and I'm sorry if I haven't been. 428 00:18:18,523 --> 00:18:19,957 Me, too. 429 00:18:24,362 --> 00:18:25,796 No, no, no. 430 00:18:25,830 --> 00:18:28,699 We are not filming a sequel here, weirdoes. 431 00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:29,833 And we want our sex tape back. 432 00:18:29,868 --> 00:18:31,869 No. You can't. We need it. 433 00:18:31,903 --> 00:18:32,970 I thought we were friends. 434 00:18:33,004 --> 00:18:34,939 We barely know you. 435 00:18:34,973 --> 00:18:36,707 How 'bout we buy it from you? 436 00:18:36,741 --> 00:18:37,875 - No way. - Eight hundred. 437 00:18:37,909 --> 00:18:39,710 Deal. I'll get my checkbook. 438 00:18:39,744 --> 00:18:41,145 Virginia, what are you doing? 439 00:18:41,179 --> 00:18:42,780 I want to get your van back 440 00:18:42,814 --> 00:18:44,982 and sacrifice for you the way you sacrificed for me 441 00:18:45,016 --> 00:18:46,817 to get my Pigurines back. 442 00:18:52,891 --> 00:18:54,558 Could you stop staring at me? 443 00:18:54,593 --> 00:18:57,561 I know your mind's blown meeting "Virginia from the sex tape," 444 00:18:57,596 --> 00:19:00,164 but you're making me feel self-conscious. 445 00:19:00,198 --> 00:19:01,732 Actually, um, I was just, 446 00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:03,701 I was wondering about that-that mole that you have 447 00:19:03,735 --> 00:19:05,202 on your left butt cheek. 448 00:19:05,236 --> 00:19:06,804 Did you ever get that checked out? 449 00:19:08,340 --> 00:19:09,573 We have to go. 450 00:19:09,608 --> 00:19:10,708 Okay. 451 00:19:13,211 --> 00:19:14,478 SABRINA: That's it! That's it! 452 00:19:14,512 --> 00:19:15,646 I got it! 453 00:19:17,716 --> 00:19:19,483 Whoa. Hey, what's going on? 454 00:19:19,517 --> 00:19:20,718 Mmm, 455 00:19:20,752 --> 00:19:22,052 I had to figure this out. 456 00:19:22,087 --> 00:19:23,454 I just couldn't take it anymore. 457 00:19:23,488 --> 00:19:26,090 I knew there had to be an answer to this mystery 458 00:19:26,124 --> 00:19:26,991 and I just wasn't going to sleep 459 00:19:27,025 --> 00:19:28,058 until I figured it out. 460 00:19:28,093 --> 00:19:30,928 Jimmy, you have been sleepwalking your whole life. 461 00:19:31,963 --> 00:19:33,931 I'm not gonna let that happen again. 462 00:19:33,965 --> 00:19:34,932 So I asked myself, 463 00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:36,867 what do all your sleepwalks have in common? 464 00:19:36,901 --> 00:19:38,902 The red pins are where you've been falling asleep, 465 00:19:38,937 --> 00:19:41,872 and the blue pins are where you've been waking up. 466 00:19:41,906 --> 00:19:42,940 So if you extend this line, 467 00:19:42,974 --> 00:19:44,842 you'll see that you've been walking 468 00:19:44,876 --> 00:19:48,212 towards the same place, okay? 469 00:19:48,246 --> 00:19:50,047 This is your Mecca. 470 00:19:50,081 --> 00:19:51,649 This is your homeland, 471 00:19:51,683 --> 00:19:52,916 the Chance residence. 472 00:19:52,951 --> 00:19:54,885 Yeah, but just now, I woke up 473 00:19:54,919 --> 00:19:56,053 in the dining room. 474 00:19:56,087 --> 00:19:57,755 That's where your stuff is. 475 00:19:58,790 --> 00:20:00,391 Oh, yeah! 476 00:20:00,425 --> 00:20:01,558 That's right! 477 00:20:01,593 --> 00:20:05,329 Why doesn't anybody ever believe me?! 478 00:20:05,363 --> 00:20:08,065 I believe you, I believe you, 479 00:20:08,099 --> 00:20:10,367 but I will say, you were a lot more fun 480 00:20:10,402 --> 00:20:12,469 when your favorite show was Californication. 481 00:20:12,504 --> 00:20:14,538 482 00:20:14,572 --> 00:20:16,774 JIMMY: People like to say, "home is where the heart is," 483 00:20:16,808 --> 00:20:19,910 but I kind of think home is where your stuff is. 484 00:20:19,944 --> 00:20:21,045 You sure you don't mind 485 00:20:21,079 --> 00:20:22,980 me putting all my old junk in this room? 486 00:20:23,014 --> 00:20:24,448 It's our room. 487 00:20:24,482 --> 00:20:25,949 Plus, I still have my old college bulletin board 488 00:20:25,984 --> 00:20:27,184 and I got lots of my old stuff. 489 00:20:27,218 --> 00:20:28,719 Just look in the closet. 490 00:20:31,990 --> 00:20:33,724 Ahhhhhhh! 491 00:20:33,758 --> 00:20:35,726 Your parents were right. 492 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:37,294 That's hilarious. 493 00:20:37,328 --> 00:20:39,763 494 00:20:39,798 --> 00:20:41,298 JIMMY: Turns out I wasn't the only one 495 00:20:41,332 --> 00:20:43,967 who had an emotional attachment to their stuff. 496 00:20:44,002 --> 00:20:46,203 497 00:20:46,237 --> 00:20:47,337 Oh. 498 00:20:56,748 --> 00:20:58,315 Don't worry. 499 00:20:58,349 --> 00:21:00,984 We never have to discuss how he drove you. 500 00:21:01,019 --> 00:21:02,753 (chuckling) 501 00:21:02,787 --> 00:21:04,888 JIMMY: And some people just can't get enough 502 00:21:04,923 --> 00:21:06,490 of other people's stuff. 503 00:21:06,524 --> 00:21:10,861 504 00:21:13,364 --> 00:21:14,998 Mostly, I was really glad 505 00:21:15,033 --> 00:21:18,302 to have all that sleepwalking behind me... 506 00:21:18,336 --> 00:21:21,222 until I found out it was hereditary. 507 00:21:30,065 --> 00:21:35,228 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 508 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,139 Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player 509 00:21:39,189 --> 00:21:43,739 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36576

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