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1
00:00:03,159 --> 00:00:04,492
Great news, Mrs. Warner,
2
00:00:04,626 --> 00:00:05,793
we found your brother Chris.
3
00:00:05,827 --> 00:00:07,795
Oh, thank goodness. Is he okay?
4
00:00:07,829 --> 00:00:09,363
Uh, perfectly fine.
5
00:00:09,398 --> 00:00:12,098
Although he is now your sister Christina.
6
00:00:13,167 --> 00:00:15,235
He's... really pretty.
7
00:00:15,269 --> 00:00:17,938
I know. Those cheekbones, right?
8
00:00:17,972 --> 00:00:19,372
Why didn't he...
9
00:00:19,407 --> 00:00:21,074
She tell me?
10
00:00:21,108 --> 00:00:24,110
Uh, I don't know. You can ask her yourself.
11
00:00:24,145 --> 00:00:26,346
Neiman Marcus, 12:00. That's what she said.
12
00:00:26,380 --> 00:00:28,281
Neimans?
13
00:00:28,316 --> 00:00:30,951
It's the annual shoe sale.
14
00:00:32,086 --> 00:00:34,287
If she gets those size 12 Louboutins first,
15
00:00:34,322 --> 00:00:36,089
I'll kill her.
16
00:00:36,123 --> 00:00:38,358
Uh, you know, even if you kill her,
17
00:00:38,392 --> 00:00:40,126
you have to pay us.
18
00:00:40,161 --> 00:00:42,195
(Emotionally): Thank God you're here!
19
00:00:47,368 --> 00:00:49,002
(Door closes)
20
00:00:49,036 --> 00:00:50,370
Uh, let me guess, you went
to get your Gaga tickets
21
00:00:50,404 --> 00:00:54,140
- and they were sold out.
- No, I got third row.
22
00:00:54,175 --> 00:00:56,176
(Sobbing)
23
00:00:57,445 --> 00:00:59,379
Then why are you acting like
it's the end of the world?
24
00:00:59,413 --> 00:01:00,947
(Gasps)
25
00:01:00,982 --> 00:01:02,115
You haven't heard?
26
00:01:02,149 --> 00:01:04,284
You're gonna need to sit down for this.
27
00:01:04,318 --> 00:01:05,285
(Wails)
28
00:01:05,319 --> 00:01:07,220
Okay, I'm sitting. What?
29
00:01:07,255 --> 00:01:09,055
Holly's dead.
30
00:01:09,090 --> 00:01:10,357
It's all over the Internet.
31
00:01:10,391 --> 00:01:13,326
Oh, really? How did she die?
32
00:01:13,361 --> 00:01:16,162
She was at conveyor belt
Sushi restaurant last night
33
00:01:16,197 --> 00:01:19,399
when she reached a little bit
too far for a spicy tuna roll.
34
00:01:19,433 --> 00:01:22,269
And suddenly her silk scarf
got caught in the gears
35
00:01:22,303 --> 00:01:25,238
and she was strangled to death!
36
00:01:25,273 --> 00:01:27,173
(Weeping)
37
00:01:27,208 --> 00:01:29,943
Nick, Honey, she's not dead.
38
00:01:29,977 --> 00:01:31,111
I talked to her this morning.
39
00:01:31,145 --> 00:01:34,080
Charlie, I was in denial, too.
40
00:01:34,115 --> 00:01:35,415
But it was on "T. M. Z.",
41
00:01:35,449 --> 00:01:37,951
and I'm pretty sure they fact-check.
42
00:01:37,985 --> 00:01:39,419
Believe me,
43
00:01:39,453 --> 00:01:42,289
I would give anything
44
00:01:42,356 --> 00:01:45,158
to see Holly walk through
that door right now.
45
00:01:45,192 --> 00:01:47,060
Oh, how about your Gaga tickets?
46
00:01:47,094 --> 00:01:48,261
Yes, anything.
47
00:01:48,296 --> 00:01:50,397
Oh, that line was so long,
48
00:01:50,431 --> 00:01:51,998
I need to get my roots done.
49
00:01:52,033 --> 00:01:54,167
Oh! You're alive!
50
00:01:56,137 --> 00:01:57,437
- (Whispers)
- Yes!
51
00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:00,006
Uh-oh.
52
00:02:01,342 --> 00:02:03,209
Holly, I got us Gaga tickets.
53
00:02:07,281 --> 00:02:09,249
(Theme music playing)
54
00:02:15,222 --> 00:02:16,189
(Screams)
55
00:02:20,590 --> 00:02:23,590
- Synced and corrected by Retrojex -
- www.addic7ed.com -
56
00:02:25,967 --> 00:02:27,100
You're alive.
57
00:02:28,202 --> 00:02:30,103
- I am.
- (Giggles)
58
00:02:35,409 --> 00:02:37,310
Wait, should I not be?
59
00:02:38,412 --> 00:02:40,180
There's a rumor that you're dead.
60
00:02:40,214 --> 00:02:43,283
Ugh, why are there always
rumors about me dying?
61
00:02:43,317 --> 00:02:46,086
Because you're always doing crazy stuff.
62
00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:48,054
You make them easy to believe.
63
00:02:48,089 --> 00:02:50,290
You don't see rumors about me, do you?
64
00:02:50,324 --> 00:02:51,958
What are they gonna say?
65
00:02:51,993 --> 00:02:53,994
"Charlie contour eats
cookie dough for breakfast!"
66
00:02:54,028 --> 00:02:56,062
Ooh, that's scandalous.
67
00:02:56,097 --> 00:02:58,431
If you really want them to stop,
68
00:02:58,466 --> 00:03:01,134
maybe you should stop making
them so easy to believe.
69
00:03:01,168 --> 00:03:02,302
Who said I want them to stop?
70
00:03:02,336 --> 00:03:04,137
I kind of love them.
71
00:03:04,171 --> 00:03:06,039
Ooh, remember that one
72
00:03:06,073 --> 00:03:07,907
where they said I died of a shark attack
73
00:03:07,942 --> 00:03:09,242
on "Celebrity Lifeguard"?
74
00:03:09,276 --> 00:03:10,944
Yeah, that was ridiculous.
75
00:03:10,978 --> 00:03:12,379
You never even once jumped in the water.
76
00:03:12,413 --> 00:03:15,281
Well, duh, 'cause of sharks.
77
00:03:17,051 --> 00:03:18,118
Nick, alert the media,
78
00:03:18,152 --> 00:03:19,386
tell them that holly's alive and well,
79
00:03:19,420 --> 00:03:20,987
so we can get back to work.
80
00:03:21,022 --> 00:03:23,056
Ooh, would you mind if we waited
81
00:03:23,090 --> 00:03:24,290
6 hours and 11 minutes?
82
00:03:24,325 --> 00:03:26,126
There's a crazy bidding war going on
83
00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:28,128
for some of Holly's old
birth control packets.
84
00:03:36,170 --> 00:03:38,304
I can't believe you're selling all my stuff
85
00:03:38,339 --> 00:03:40,073
before my body's even cold.
86
00:03:40,107 --> 00:03:42,375
No, I was already selling
this stuff when you were alive.
87
00:03:42,410 --> 00:03:44,277
Your death just jacked up the prices.
88
00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:46,046
What?
89
00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:48,248
Amazing. Oh my God.
90
00:03:48,282 --> 00:03:51,184
Bidding's up to $200 for my parking ticket.
91
00:03:51,218 --> 00:03:52,952
Wait, I thought you paid that?
92
00:03:52,987 --> 00:03:54,020
What do you care? You're dead.
93
00:03:54,055 --> 00:03:56,022
Oh, that's right.
94
00:03:56,057 --> 00:03:59,225
In that case, here's
two more from yesterday.
95
00:03:59,260 --> 00:04:00,994
Hey, geniuses,
96
00:04:01,028 --> 00:04:03,029
what are people gonna say
when they find out she's alive?
97
00:04:03,064 --> 00:04:04,364
Hallelujah! She has risen.
98
00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:11,004
Charlie: I'm home.
99
00:04:11,038 --> 00:04:12,038
Come on, let's sit down.
100
00:04:12,073 --> 00:04:13,206
- Okay.
- All right.
101
00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:14,941
Where's Demi?
102
00:04:14,975 --> 00:04:18,078
And all the crap that usually
covers our flat surfaces?
103
00:04:18,112 --> 00:04:19,179
Demi's doing her homework,
104
00:04:19,213 --> 00:04:20,947
- I cleaned.
- Wow.
105
00:04:20,981 --> 00:04:22,082
Let me get you some wine.
106
00:04:22,116 --> 00:04:25,318
If whatever is on your
mind is that bad, then yeah,
107
00:04:25,352 --> 00:04:27,187
I will take that.
108
00:04:27,221 --> 00:04:28,221
And that.
109
00:04:30,091 --> 00:04:33,993
Okay, Honey, listen.
110
00:04:34,028 --> 00:04:36,062
It's okay. I know.
111
00:04:36,130 --> 00:04:37,063
You do?
112
00:04:37,098 --> 00:04:39,099
Yeah.
113
00:04:39,133 --> 00:04:40,366
Okay, look,
114
00:04:40,401 --> 00:04:43,103
I only faked it last night
because I didn't want to miss
115
00:04:43,137 --> 00:04:45,004
the finale of "Flip this House."
116
00:04:46,273 --> 00:04:47,240
What?
117
00:04:47,274 --> 00:04:48,274
What?
118
00:04:48,309 --> 00:04:52,045
No, no, I know about Holly dying.
119
00:04:52,079 --> 00:04:53,379
You've gotten like 20 messages.
120
00:04:53,414 --> 00:04:55,215
I am so, so sorry.
121
00:04:55,249 --> 00:04:57,016
- Michael, she's...
- A part of you
122
00:04:57,051 --> 00:04:58,051
and always will be.
123
00:04:58,085 --> 00:04:59,252
- I know.
- (Chuckles)
124
00:04:59,286 --> 00:05:01,287
If you need me to do anything,
help with preparations...
125
00:05:01,322 --> 00:05:02,922
No no no, you don't understand.
126
00:05:02,957 --> 00:05:05,291
I understand that you
are always trying to be
127
00:05:05,326 --> 00:05:07,227
the strong one, but this time,
128
00:05:07,261 --> 00:05:08,995
let me be your rock.
129
00:05:10,030 --> 00:05:11,264
Mmm!
130
00:05:12,933 --> 00:05:14,033
Really?
131
00:05:14,068 --> 00:05:15,368
Hmm.
132
00:05:15,402 --> 00:05:17,904
Okay, so after dinner
133
00:05:17,938 --> 00:05:19,372
I'm gonna draw you a nice bath,
134
00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:21,941
I'm gonna give you a back massage,
135
00:05:21,976 --> 00:05:23,209
and if you want,
136
00:05:23,244 --> 00:05:25,245
we'll talk about me building that shoe rack
137
00:05:25,279 --> 00:05:27,347
you've been wanting, huh?
138
00:05:27,381 --> 00:05:30,083
The truth is...
139
00:05:30,117 --> 00:05:32,051
I really miss Holly.
140
00:05:41,095 --> 00:05:42,295
What's all that?
141
00:05:42,329 --> 00:05:45,165
Oh, uh, somebody set
up a memorial out front.
142
00:05:45,199 --> 00:05:46,366
I took all I could carry.
143
00:05:48,102 --> 00:05:50,236
Yes. I'm America's sweetheart.
144
00:05:50,271 --> 00:05:52,105
Take that, Taylor Swift!
145
00:05:54,208 --> 00:05:55,241
Ugh. Hey hey hey.
146
00:05:55,276 --> 00:05:57,076
No no no. These are not for you.
147
00:05:57,111 --> 00:05:58,378
You're dead...
148
00:05:58,412 --> 00:06:00,280
Or else you will be when the
people find out you're not.
149
00:06:02,016 --> 00:06:03,950
But all these flowers...
150
00:06:03,984 --> 00:06:06,186
There's roses, peonies...
151
00:06:06,220 --> 00:06:07,987
Ew! Carnations?
152
00:06:09,290 --> 00:06:12,091
Nick, we have a filler flower situation.
153
00:06:12,126 --> 00:06:13,092
Nick!
154
00:06:13,127 --> 00:06:14,294
- I'm up! I'm up!
- (Gasps)
155
00:06:14,328 --> 00:06:17,297
Hey, we got $250 for the sunglasses.
156
00:06:17,331 --> 00:06:20,166
Have you guys been selling stuff all night?
157
00:06:20,201 --> 00:06:22,202
Yep, we've made five grand so far.
158
00:06:22,236 --> 00:06:24,304
We should kill you next.
159
00:06:24,338 --> 00:06:28,208
Okay, you guys need to tell everybody
160
00:06:28,242 --> 00:06:30,276
that you're still alive before
this gets out of control.
161
00:06:30,311 --> 00:06:32,946
I mean, we'll tell everybody
162
00:06:32,980 --> 00:06:34,914
that you were on a cruise to Baja,
163
00:06:34,949 --> 00:06:36,316
and that you didn't hear
about the death rumor
164
00:06:36,350 --> 00:06:37,350
until you got back to shore.
165
00:06:37,384 --> 00:06:40,119
Can it be a cruise to the Greek isles?
166
00:06:40,154 --> 00:06:42,055
Ooh, and maybe throw in
something about meeting
167
00:06:42,089 --> 00:06:44,190
- a handsome stranger named Yorgo.
- (Gasps)
168
00:06:45,426 --> 00:06:46,993
Yorgo?
169
00:06:47,027 --> 00:06:49,062
Who whisked you off to his private island,
170
00:06:49,096 --> 00:06:51,397
where you ate yogurt in
the nude with John Stamos.
171
00:06:56,237 --> 00:06:58,338
- Whose fantasy is this?
- I thought we could share it.
172
00:07:00,174 --> 00:07:02,008
Whatever. Nick, call "T. M.Z."
173
00:07:02,042 --> 00:07:03,142
And get this straightened out, okay?
174
00:07:03,177 --> 00:07:05,879
Ooh, this is new.
175
00:07:05,913 --> 00:07:08,348
You didn't by chance put up
a sex tape for sale, did you?
176
00:07:08,382 --> 00:07:09,949
No.
177
00:07:09,984 --> 00:07:11,117
Or did I?
178
00:07:12,219 --> 00:07:13,253
Maybe.
179
00:07:13,287 --> 00:07:15,955
Well, someone did. And according to this
180
00:07:15,990 --> 00:07:17,023
there's a bunch of companies bidding on it.
181
00:07:17,057 --> 00:07:19,926
- (Gasps)
- How dare someone try to make money
182
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:22,061
off my fake death while
I'm on a pretend cruise
183
00:07:22,096 --> 00:07:24,063
with my made up boyfriend named Yorgo.
184
00:07:25,299 --> 00:07:28,334
Okay, great. So now there's a sex tape.
185
00:07:28,369 --> 00:07:31,104
Did it ever occur to you
Holly to not do something?
186
00:07:31,138 --> 00:07:33,907
So there's a sex tape. Who cares?
187
00:07:33,941 --> 00:07:35,108
Everyone does 'em.
188
00:07:35,142 --> 00:07:36,910
My grandma last year.
189
00:07:39,146 --> 00:07:41,080
Okay.
190
00:07:41,115 --> 00:07:43,149
Th-that's just gross.
191
00:07:44,318 --> 00:07:48,154
And everybody does not do them.
192
00:07:48,188 --> 00:07:50,323
We're trying to start a business here!
193
00:07:50,357 --> 00:07:53,293
It's hard enough to get
people to take us seriously.
194
00:07:53,327 --> 00:07:55,228
Okay, we've gotta find the tape.
195
00:07:55,262 --> 00:07:56,996
Does it say anything about the seller?
196
00:07:57,031 --> 00:07:58,231
He was on the "Mystery Girls" crew.
197
00:07:58,265 --> 00:07:59,899
- Okay.
- Which season?
198
00:07:59,934 --> 00:08:01,234
- (Gasps)
- I bet it was season three.
199
00:08:01,268 --> 00:08:03,937
That's the year they
gave me my own trailer.
200
00:08:03,971 --> 00:08:06,072
Ooh, he's also selling a blooper reel.
201
00:08:06,106 --> 00:08:07,974
Try and get that, too.
202
00:08:08,008 --> 00:08:09,142
Who was it with?
203
00:08:09,176 --> 00:08:10,176
Who are you looking at?
204
00:08:10,210 --> 00:08:12,145
You! I'm looking at you.
205
00:08:12,179 --> 00:08:14,047
You're the one in the tape. Who
else am I supposed to look at
206
00:08:14,081 --> 00:08:16,349
sorry, it was a really long time ago.
207
00:08:16,383 --> 00:08:18,318
Actually, I have no idea.
208
00:08:18,352 --> 00:08:21,254
But if I saw him I probably
might recognize him.
209
00:08:21,288 --> 00:08:23,323
Okay, okay, okay. We need to find a way
210
00:08:23,357 --> 00:08:25,124
to get the crew back together.
211
00:08:25,159 --> 00:08:27,226
Reunion episode!
212
00:08:27,261 --> 00:08:30,096
Yeah, that's gonna be a little hard to sell
213
00:08:30,130 --> 00:08:31,364
- since one of us is dead.
- (Holly gasps)
214
00:08:31,398 --> 00:08:33,166
I've got it!
215
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,902
Why don't you throw a
memorial service for me?
216
00:08:35,936 --> 00:08:38,104
- Are you serious?
- Both: Yes!
217
00:08:38,138 --> 00:08:40,006
You invite the entire crew,
218
00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:42,175
and then once I see all of
them I'll be able to figure out
219
00:08:42,209 --> 00:08:43,242
who's behind this...
220
00:08:43,277 --> 00:08:44,978
And who's behind me on that tape.
221
00:08:51,527 --> 00:08:53,461
Happy Memorial Day.
222
00:08:53,495 --> 00:08:55,530
I told you to be here at 1:00.
223
00:08:55,564 --> 00:08:58,232
Only you'd be late to your own funeral.
224
00:08:58,267 --> 00:08:59,467
Where have you been?
225
00:08:59,501 --> 00:09:01,369
Kinko's, what do you think?
226
00:09:03,172 --> 00:09:05,506
I shall call it "Holly ever after."
227
00:09:07,276 --> 00:09:09,343
Great. And after, we'll enter you
228
00:09:09,378 --> 00:09:11,112
in a toddler pageant.
229
00:09:18,487 --> 00:09:20,087
What?
230
00:09:20,122 --> 00:09:23,057
Nothing.
231
00:09:23,091 --> 00:09:24,225
Come on.
232
00:09:24,259 --> 00:09:26,394
Well...
233
00:09:26,428 --> 00:09:28,396
It's just a girl spends her whole life
234
00:09:28,430 --> 00:09:30,164
dreaming of her memorial.
235
00:09:30,199 --> 00:09:32,200
And you...
236
00:09:32,234 --> 00:09:35,469
You booked at a janky
hotel near the airport.
237
00:09:35,504 --> 00:09:37,071
It smells like vomit.
238
00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:40,341
Okay, I'm sorry, but it's all I could do
239
00:09:40,375 --> 00:09:41,375
on such short notice.
240
00:09:41,410 --> 00:09:43,377
It's not the room that's important,
241
00:09:43,412 --> 00:09:44,478
it's the accessories.
242
00:09:44,513 --> 00:09:47,081
- I brought urns.
- Ooh.
243
00:09:47,115 --> 00:09:50,117
- Which urn do you think you'd look best in?
- Okay.
244
00:09:50,152 --> 00:09:52,220
Nope, nope, nope.
245
00:09:52,254 --> 00:09:54,155
Ugh, they're all so big.
246
00:09:54,189 --> 00:09:56,224
Are you suggesting I have fat ashes?
247
00:09:58,260 --> 00:10:01,095
Fine, I'll just take
that slimming, pink one.
248
00:10:01,129 --> 00:10:02,296
This is my water bottle.
249
00:10:02,331 --> 00:10:03,464
- Perfect.
- Okay.
250
00:10:03,498 --> 00:10:05,366
And you, get up there.
251
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:07,134
You have to rehearse your speech.
252
00:10:07,169 --> 00:10:10,304
No, I'm not giving a
speech for your fat ash.
253
00:10:15,244 --> 00:10:18,312
I am your best friend.
You have to give a speech.
254
00:10:18,347 --> 00:10:20,281
If you were pretend
dead, I would totally give
255
00:10:20,315 --> 00:10:21,449
a beautiful speech.
256
00:10:21,483 --> 00:10:23,251
Okay, fine.
257
00:10:23,285 --> 00:10:25,319
I will think of something
nice to say, okay?
258
00:10:25,354 --> 00:10:33,258
No need, here you go. Come on.
259
00:10:33,292 --> 00:10:35,426
"Holly Hamilton, friend I hardly deserved."
260
00:10:35,461 --> 00:10:37,529
- Seriously?
- Oh.
261
00:10:37,563 --> 00:10:40,265
See, I drew teardrops next to the sentences
262
00:10:40,299 --> 00:10:41,533
where you should cry.
263
00:10:41,567 --> 00:10:45,303
"Holly Hamilton was a
flower in a sea of gravel,
264
00:10:45,337 --> 00:10:48,540
- a beacon to lost ships..."
- (Mock-cries)
265
00:10:48,574 --> 00:10:50,441
Teardrop.
266
00:10:52,211 --> 00:10:54,512
"...a priceless masterpiece
that walked among us"?
267
00:10:54,547 --> 00:10:56,247
Oh, come on!
268
00:10:56,282 --> 00:10:59,183
I'm not doing this. We have
to go over our plan, okay?
269
00:10:59,218 --> 00:11:01,185
What? I see people and I try
270
00:11:01,220 --> 00:11:02,520
to remember if I had sex with them.
271
00:11:02,588 --> 00:11:04,188
Teardrop.
272
00:11:08,427 --> 00:11:09,427
Is that the guy?
273
00:11:11,463 --> 00:11:12,463
Is that the guy?
274
00:11:14,233 --> 00:11:15,400
Is that the guy?
275
00:11:15,434 --> 00:11:18,136
I need to see more than their faces.
276
00:11:22,241 --> 00:11:23,207
Is that the guy?
277
00:11:26,579 --> 00:11:28,146
I don't know if you remember me
278
00:11:28,180 --> 00:11:30,582
but I did craft services
and sold weed to the crew.
279
00:11:30,616 --> 00:11:33,117
Jeanette!
280
00:11:35,437 --> 00:11:37,571
Holly spoke fondly of you.
281
00:11:37,606 --> 00:11:40,541
I'm her cousin Dolly Hamilton.
282
00:11:41,610 --> 00:11:43,510
Ah, okay. Thank you, Jeanette,
283
00:11:43,545 --> 00:11:46,313
- so much for coming.
- Do you know where the refreshments are?
284
00:11:46,348 --> 00:11:47,448
I'm kind of baked.
285
00:11:52,454 --> 00:11:54,188
"Dolly Hamilton"?
286
00:11:54,222 --> 00:11:55,489
What is with that accent?
287
00:11:55,523 --> 00:11:58,359
I'm undercover, fool.
288
00:11:58,393 --> 00:12:00,427
Just let me do the talking.
289
00:12:00,462 --> 00:12:02,396
You've already done enough with that mouth.
290
00:12:04,566 --> 00:12:07,401
Hey, my man, Frank here,
had the hardest job.
291
00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:10,070
Assistant director. Oh, man.
292
00:12:10,105 --> 00:12:12,072
We'd be in the middle of filming
293
00:12:12,107 --> 00:12:13,540
and Holly would just wander off.
294
00:12:13,575 --> 00:12:15,509
It got so bad, we had to put
295
00:12:15,543 --> 00:12:17,378
a tracking chip in her shoulder.
296
00:12:17,412 --> 00:12:19,246
Told her it was a flu shot.
297
00:12:19,281 --> 00:12:21,181
(Laughing)
298
00:12:21,216 --> 00:12:23,517
Wait, what?
299
00:12:23,551 --> 00:12:25,219
Is that the guy?
300
00:12:25,253 --> 00:12:26,287
I'm not sure.
301
00:12:26,321 --> 00:12:28,155
But now I know why my shoulder tingles
302
00:12:28,189 --> 00:12:30,257
every time my cellphone rings.
303
00:12:30,292 --> 00:12:33,127
Say, any of you guys ever make
304
00:12:33,161 --> 00:12:35,529
a risque video tape with the departed?
305
00:12:35,563 --> 00:12:38,299
I'm just making conversation of course,
306
00:12:38,333 --> 00:12:39,433
but did you?
307
00:12:40,734 --> 00:12:42,734
You know anything
about that, Frank?
308
00:12:43,243 --> 00:12:46,544
Shut up, T-Bird, I'm not
gonna talk about that here.
309
00:12:46,578 --> 00:12:48,179
Oh, come on, Man.
310
00:12:48,213 --> 00:12:50,348
- (Imitates T-Bird)
- Yeah, come on, Man.
311
00:12:50,382 --> 00:12:53,384
Yeah, Dude. Dude time.
312
00:12:53,419 --> 00:12:54,552
It's on V.H.S.,
313
00:12:54,586 --> 00:12:57,455
which makes it 10 times nastier.
314
00:12:59,291 --> 00:13:02,460
It's Frank. Ew, I did Frank?
315
00:13:02,494 --> 00:13:05,363
Ugh, okay. We have got to get that tape.
316
00:13:05,397 --> 00:13:07,098
Come on.
317
00:13:07,132 --> 00:13:10,068
I bet he is in the guestbook.
318
00:13:10,102 --> 00:13:11,469
Oh... uh...
319
00:13:11,503 --> 00:13:13,538
Uh-huh, here's his address.
320
00:13:13,572 --> 00:13:15,373
- There's an address?
- Mm-hmm, yes,
321
00:13:15,407 --> 00:13:17,275
so the host can send a thank you.
322
00:13:17,309 --> 00:13:18,543
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
323
00:13:18,577 --> 00:13:21,212
We should go buy thank-you cards?
324
00:13:21,246 --> 00:13:22,547
Try again.
325
00:13:22,581 --> 00:13:25,383
Ah! We should break into Frank's house
326
00:13:25,417 --> 00:13:27,251
- while he's here.
- Ding ding ding.
327
00:13:27,286 --> 00:13:28,353
- Yay.
- Bad news.
328
00:13:28,387 --> 00:13:29,520
Frank says he found a buyer for the tape.
329
00:13:29,555 --> 00:13:31,422
It's okay, we have his address.
330
00:13:31,457 --> 00:13:32,390
Just keep him here.
331
00:13:32,424 --> 00:13:33,491
How am I supposed to do that?
332
00:13:33,525 --> 00:13:36,160
Go up there, give a speech. Stall.
333
00:13:36,195 --> 00:13:39,097
Wait, you want me to spend the
next few hours talking about Holly?
334
00:13:39,131 --> 00:13:40,098
Dream come true.
335
00:13:47,388 --> 00:13:48,588
Stupid hairpin.
336
00:13:48,622 --> 00:13:50,457
This worked all the time on the show.
337
00:13:50,491 --> 00:13:52,459
That's because there was a
crew guy on the other side
338
00:13:52,493 --> 00:13:54,227
opening it for you.
339
00:13:54,261 --> 00:13:55,328
I'm trying.
340
00:13:55,362 --> 00:13:57,630
And my favorite episode of the third season
341
00:13:57,665 --> 00:14:00,433
was when the girls were investigating
a human trafficking ring.
342
00:14:00,468 --> 00:14:03,136
Oh, I remember thinking to myself,
343
00:14:03,170 --> 00:14:06,406
"Oh my God, they must
have gotten a real hooker,"
344
00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:08,374
because Holly was so convincing.
345
00:14:11,545 --> 00:14:14,147
And now, with your permission,
I would like to read
346
00:14:14,181 --> 00:14:16,249
from my collection of
holly-inspired poetry.
347
00:14:22,289 --> 00:14:23,289
Oh my God.
348
00:14:23,324 --> 00:14:26,192
- (Gasps)
- I'm a master criminal.
349
00:14:26,227 --> 00:14:28,294
Your mother would be very proud. Come on.
350
00:14:30,331 --> 00:14:32,265
- (Alarm beeping)
- Man: Intruder alert!
351
00:14:32,299 --> 00:14:33,600
Who's ready to die?
352
00:14:33,634 --> 00:14:35,201
(Girls gasp)
353
00:14:36,637 --> 00:14:37,604
Man: I've got a gun.
354
00:14:37,638 --> 00:14:39,172
Oh no.
355
00:14:39,206 --> 00:14:41,174
(Explosions, gunfire)
356
00:14:43,677 --> 00:14:45,578
Frank must have a roommate.
357
00:14:45,613 --> 00:14:47,480
He's playing some game.
358
00:14:47,515 --> 00:14:49,449
(Groaning)
359
00:14:49,483 --> 00:14:51,651
What's it called, "40 and alone"?
360
00:14:53,487 --> 00:14:56,322
We're not here to judge.
We're here to steal.
361
00:14:56,357 --> 00:14:58,324
Let's go find the tape.
362
00:15:01,228 --> 00:15:02,595
Whoa.
363
00:15:02,630 --> 00:15:04,497
- Be careful.
- I am being careful.
364
00:15:04,532 --> 00:15:05,532
You be careful.
365
00:15:05,566 --> 00:15:08,167
You be careful.
366
00:15:08,202 --> 00:15:09,369
Go the other way.
367
00:15:09,403 --> 00:15:10,403
Fine.
368
00:15:13,307 --> 00:15:14,340
Hey, hey.
369
00:15:19,346 --> 00:15:21,180
Man: Boom.
370
00:15:21,215 --> 00:15:22,348
Miss Dirty girl.
371
00:15:22,383 --> 00:15:23,583
I'm on it.
372
00:15:28,255 --> 00:15:29,422
What do you think you're doing?
373
00:15:29,456 --> 00:15:32,325
Housekeeping?
374
00:15:32,359 --> 00:15:34,360
I'm calling the police.
375
00:15:34,395 --> 00:15:35,428
No you're not!
376
00:15:35,462 --> 00:15:37,230
(Man screams)
377
00:15:37,264 --> 00:15:38,598
Oh, I can't believe I listened to you.
378
00:15:38,632 --> 00:15:41,167
This has got to be the worst
decision you've ever made.
379
00:15:41,201 --> 00:15:44,404
Nope, worst decision was going
Commando at The Teen Choice awards.
380
00:15:45,472 --> 00:15:47,173
(Grunts)
381
00:15:47,207 --> 00:15:49,208
Wait, come back!
382
00:15:51,211 --> 00:15:52,445
I'm a huge fan.
383
00:15:55,316 --> 00:15:58,318
Well, congratulations, you've
finally brought me down to your level.
384
00:15:58,352 --> 00:16:01,120
Come on, that was so fun.
385
00:16:01,155 --> 00:16:03,189
That might be your idea of fun
386
00:16:03,223 --> 00:16:05,325
but I am done cleaning up your messes.
387
00:16:05,359 --> 00:16:08,394
Speaking of messes, what
is so sticky on this tape?
388
00:16:11,365 --> 00:16:12,398
Ew.
389
00:16:13,434 --> 00:16:15,234
Grape soda.
390
00:16:15,269 --> 00:16:16,336
Ready to watch?
391
00:16:16,370 --> 00:16:19,172
Sure, I really do wanna
watch your sex tape.
392
00:16:19,206 --> 00:16:20,340
Make some popcorn,
393
00:16:20,374 --> 00:16:21,608
we'll invite the realtors
from down the hall.
394
00:16:21,642 --> 00:16:24,611
- Really?
- No, I don't want to watch it.
395
00:16:24,645 --> 00:16:26,479
Let's just destroy it.
396
00:16:26,513 --> 00:16:28,214
What if it's not the right one?
397
00:16:28,248 --> 00:16:30,183
All right, fine, put it in the V.C.R.
398
00:16:30,217 --> 00:16:32,452
And why do we have a V.C.R.?
399
00:16:32,486 --> 00:16:34,153
Because, remember,
400
00:16:34,188 --> 00:16:36,422
Nick's selling all my old stuff.
401
00:16:36,457 --> 00:16:39,525
After we watch the sex tape
we can watch my workout video,
402
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:42,395
"Holly Hamil-tone."
403
00:16:42,429 --> 00:16:45,598
Yippee, a double feature from hell.
404
00:16:48,268 --> 00:16:50,503
- Okay.
- I can't watch this.
405
00:16:50,537 --> 00:16:52,505
(Woman moaning on TV)
406
00:16:55,576 --> 00:16:58,244
Wait a minute, not my moaning.
407
00:17:00,247 --> 00:17:01,481
My moaning.
408
00:17:04,618 --> 00:17:06,586
That's the day we were shooting the episode
409
00:17:06,620 --> 00:17:08,554
where we were dressed like twin gymnasts.
410
00:17:08,589 --> 00:17:12,191
Yes, Helga and Elga.
411
00:17:12,226 --> 00:17:14,127
Frank must have mixed us up,
412
00:17:14,161 --> 00:17:16,262
and I must have blocked
this from my memory.
413
00:17:16,296 --> 00:17:18,331
- (Moaning continues)
- Well, well, well,
414
00:17:18,365 --> 00:17:22,135
Charlie contour's true colors come out.
415
00:17:22,169 --> 00:17:23,536
Okay, stop it.
416
00:17:23,570 --> 00:17:26,139
No, I mean I see your tan lines.
417
00:17:26,173 --> 00:17:28,474
Wow, who knew your butt was so pale.
418
00:17:30,244 --> 00:17:32,311
Okay, so I had a momentary
lapse in judgment.
419
00:17:32,346 --> 00:17:33,613
Doesn't make me a bad person.
420
00:17:33,647 --> 00:17:35,281
Charlie on video: Ooh, yeah,
421
00:17:35,315 --> 00:17:37,183
I'm a bad person.
422
00:17:40,654 --> 00:17:43,322
Uh, okay, that was a poor choice of words.
423
00:17:45,225 --> 00:17:49,295
I don't know. I think maybe
an apology is in order.
424
00:17:49,329 --> 00:17:50,329
Okay.
425
00:17:50,364 --> 00:17:52,298
Maybe occasionally I have...
426
00:17:52,332 --> 00:17:54,467
Been overly judgmental of you.
427
00:17:54,501 --> 00:17:57,437
Uh-huh. And?
428
00:18:00,507 --> 00:18:05,344
And maybe everybody makes
mistakes, including me.
429
00:18:05,379 --> 00:18:06,512
I'm sorry.
430
00:18:06,547 --> 00:18:09,348
Spoken like a true best friend.
431
00:18:09,383 --> 00:18:10,483
Apology accepted.
432
00:18:10,517 --> 00:18:12,151
And...
433
00:18:12,186 --> 00:18:14,487
- Mystery solved.
- Mystery solved.
434
00:18:14,521 --> 00:18:16,189
Wait, wait, wait. What
are you doing with that?
435
00:18:16,223 --> 00:18:17,423
I'm gonna throw it off the balcony.
436
00:18:17,458 --> 00:18:20,359
No! No no no no no no no no no no.
437
00:18:20,394 --> 00:18:21,594
That is not going to destroy it.
438
00:18:21,628 --> 00:18:23,129
Sure it will.
439
00:18:25,232 --> 00:18:27,333
Unless it lands in the back
of that guy's convertible.
440
00:18:27,367 --> 00:18:29,469
- (Gasps)
- Follow that Camaro!
441
00:18:34,641 --> 00:18:36,209
(Door closes)
442
00:18:38,212 --> 00:18:40,279
Oh, hello.
443
00:18:40,314 --> 00:18:42,582
Long day at the office.
444
00:18:42,616 --> 00:18:44,183
Really could use that wine.
445
00:18:44,218 --> 00:18:47,253
Oh Gosh, you must be so sad.
446
00:18:47,287 --> 00:18:49,422
You know, I've been thinking,
447
00:18:49,456 --> 00:18:52,358
it might be a good idea to
get you some grief counseling.
448
00:18:52,392 --> 00:18:53,559
Nah.
449
00:18:53,594 --> 00:18:55,361
Wine's fine.
450
00:18:55,395 --> 00:18:56,529
Oh.
451
00:18:56,563 --> 00:18:58,598
You know what you need?
452
00:18:58,632 --> 00:19:00,233
A good cry.
453
00:19:00,267 --> 00:19:02,135
You haven't cried once.
454
00:19:02,169 --> 00:19:04,203
Sure I have.
455
00:19:05,506 --> 00:19:06,472
Come on.
456
00:19:09,309 --> 00:19:11,177
Come on.
457
00:19:11,211 --> 00:19:13,312
- (Emotionally): Okay.
- Come to Michael.
458
00:19:15,516 --> 00:19:18,184
There you go. Let it out.
459
00:19:18,218 --> 00:19:20,186
(Mock-crying)
460
00:19:22,523 --> 00:19:24,123
(Sighs)
461
00:19:24,158 --> 00:19:25,291
You can do better than that.
462
00:19:28,162 --> 00:19:30,129
(Mock-sobbing)
463
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:34,367
You know, don't you?
464
00:19:34,401 --> 00:19:37,236
I saw Holly at Kinko's
blowing up pictures of herself.
465
00:19:37,271 --> 00:19:39,305
Oh, my God, I am so sorry, Michael.
466
00:19:39,339 --> 00:19:40,439
I just...
467
00:19:40,474 --> 00:19:42,408
There was this rumor that Holly was dead,
468
00:19:42,442 --> 00:19:44,210
so she and Nick took advantage of it
469
00:19:44,244 --> 00:19:45,611
and they made a killing on ebay.
470
00:19:45,646 --> 00:19:48,514
Oh yeah, that sounds
like something she'd do.
471
00:19:48,549 --> 00:19:51,450
How about I make us some dinner
472
00:19:51,485 --> 00:19:54,587
and we talk about that shoe
rack you were gonna build me?
473
00:19:54,621 --> 00:19:57,490
- (Inhales sharply)
- Yeah, I don't see that happening
474
00:19:57,524 --> 00:20:00,159
for a long, long time.
475
00:20:06,971 --> 00:20:09,338
It's no mystery how I got this body.
476
00:20:09,373 --> 00:20:12,408
Who's ready to get Holly Hamil-toned?
477
00:20:12,442 --> 00:20:14,343
I am.
478
00:20:16,313 --> 00:20:17,613
How long do we have to do this for?
479
00:20:17,648 --> 00:20:20,216
Till I forgive you for misjudging me.
480
00:20:21,351 --> 00:20:23,386
And left, and thrust.
481
00:20:23,420 --> 00:20:25,388
Right, and left...
482
00:20:25,422 --> 00:20:27,523
Oh, this is dirtier than my sex tape.
483
00:20:27,558 --> 00:20:30,326
I am so glad we did not sell this.
484
00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:31,327
Wait, stop.
485
00:20:31,361 --> 00:20:32,528
We can't do this part.
486
00:20:32,563 --> 00:20:34,263
This is the part that caused the lawsuit.
487
00:20:34,298 --> 00:20:36,566
Fast forward.
488
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:38,301
And stop.
489
00:20:38,335 --> 00:20:42,338
Hey, look who stopped by to say hi.
490
00:20:42,372 --> 00:20:46,442
It's TV superstar Charlie Contour.
491
00:20:46,476 --> 00:20:48,244
I thought I'd stop by
492
00:20:48,278 --> 00:20:50,279
to help you contour your arms.
493
00:20:50,314 --> 00:20:53,216
Charles, you were in this?
494
00:20:53,250 --> 00:20:55,384
Yep, apparently I blocked
that from my memory, too.
495
00:20:56,687 --> 00:21:00,189
Who's ready for some mystery curls?
496
00:21:02,292 --> 00:21:03,259
I am.
497
00:21:03,295 --> 00:21:05,995
- Synced and corrected by Retrojex -
- www.addic7ed.com -
498
00:21:06,045 --> 00:21:10,595
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