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1
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(Cathy...)
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Ca-thy...
3
00:00:52,780 --> 00:00:54,610
- Cathy.
- Oh!
4
00:00:54,660 --> 00:00:57,450
(Morning!)
5
00:00:57,500 --> 00:01:01,330
Hey, you, Kelly. You OK?
6
00:01:01,380 --> 00:01:03,850
Yeah. It's six o'clock.
7
00:01:03,900 --> 00:01:07,580
I was going to come in at five,
but I thought I'd let you sleep.
8
00:01:08,580 --> 00:01:11,980
- Thanks.
- We're going on holiday today.
9
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Sorry, love, what time is it?
10
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Six?
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Quarter to six? Might
be a little bit earlier.
12
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(Kelly.)
13
00:01:28,980 --> 00:01:31,500
It's all right, babe, she's woken up.
14
00:01:32,420 --> 00:01:35,330
We're going Cyprus today, Mum.
15
00:01:35,380 --> 00:01:38,930
It's actually one country, but it's
literally split down the middle.
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- They had a civil war.
- It's a nation divided.
17
00:01:41,860 --> 00:01:45,330
Whose side are you on, Mum,
the Greeks' or the Turks'?
18
00:01:45,380 --> 00:01:47,490
Can we talk about this later, love,
19
00:01:47,540 --> 00:01:50,580
- when I've had a bit of a
chance to wake up? - Yeah.
20
00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:01,620
I've never watched you
get out of bed before.
21
00:02:06,180 --> 00:02:09,980
- Shall I wait downstairs?
- Yeah. - Cool.
22
00:02:11,580 --> 00:02:13,980
- Bye!
- Bye.
23
00:02:15,060 --> 00:02:17,890
When we've gone through a security,
babe, should we get some breakfast
24
00:02:17,940 --> 00:02:20,100
- at this seafood bar?
- Seafood bar? - Yeah!
25
00:02:27,820 --> 00:02:30,370
- Hello again, Cathy.
- Hello.
26
00:02:30,420 --> 00:02:33,450
- You really needed that
wee, didn't you? - Yeah.
27
00:02:33,500 --> 00:02:35,450
I thought you were never going to finish.
28
00:02:35,500 --> 00:02:39,210
So, yesterday, in Sainsbury's,
Marsha was quite literally
29
00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:41,290
sneezing everywhere.
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00:02:41,340 --> 00:02:45,130
And then Ronald's going "Why would
you make the bakery smaller?"
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00:02:45,180 --> 00:02:48,930
And then Omar being Omar, he
was all, "Oh, no, I'm Omar.
32
00:02:48,980 --> 00:02:53,650
"Don't listen to anyone apart
from Neil Kevin Ricardo.
33
00:02:53,700 --> 00:02:56,450
"Look at me, I'm Joyce.
I'm the till supervisor
34
00:02:56,500 --> 00:03:00,370
"and basically I am as slow as a
slug. And my husband comes in..."
35
00:03:00,420 --> 00:03:03,090
Sorry. ".. and my husband
comes in and does his shopping
36
00:03:03,140 --> 00:03:05,050
"and we act like we
don't know each other."
37
00:03:05,100 --> 00:03:08,930
Whereas I like to take my time
with the customers and ask them about their day and sort of question
38
00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:12,610
whether they really need
everything they're buying.
39
00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:16,290
Sorry, I've forgotten what I was saying.
40
00:03:16,340 --> 00:03:19,210
Don't worry, love, I wasn't listening.
41
00:03:22,700 --> 00:03:25,810
- So we got the aftersun?
- Check.
42
00:03:25,860 --> 00:03:28,330
- Towels for the deckchairs?
- Check.
43
00:03:28,380 --> 00:03:30,410
Jackets in case we leave the hotel?
44
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:32,420
Why would we leave the hotel?
45
00:03:33,820 --> 00:03:35,450
Yeah.
46
00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:38,540
- Your mum's bringing
over your passport. - Oh!
47
00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:41,460
You've got your Marmite...
48
00:03:42,540 --> 00:03:47,890
I've got my loo rolls,
protein powder and... bumbag?
49
00:03:47,940 --> 00:03:49,050
In your cupboard.
50
00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:52,050
- Thanks, Mum!
- Aw...
51
00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:53,450
Thanks, Cathy!
52
00:03:54,900 --> 00:03:59,650
- No, just keep still. Let's...
- Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
53
00:03:59,700 --> 00:04:02,930
- Yeah, it's all right. Can you just...?
- Oh, my God, no. I'm so sorry, Cathy.
54
00:04:02,980 --> 00:04:05,970
- I'm so, so sorry. - It's all
right. - Look at all the...
55
00:04:08,020 --> 00:04:09,890
-I'm crying over spilt milk. Yeah.
56
00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:13,570
- Just pass me the tea towel.
- It's basically hilarious.
57
00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:16,410
- It is!
- I'm crying over spilt milk!
58
00:04:17,460 --> 00:04:20,970
- Can you pass me the...? - Can
I tell Jason? - Yeah! - Jason!
59
00:04:21,020 --> 00:04:22,940
- Jason! Jason!
- Oh, Jesus...
60
00:04:26,260 --> 00:04:28,010
Jason!
61
00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:30,850
Just now, downstairs in the kitchen, I...
62
00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:34,210
What?
63
00:04:34,260 --> 00:04:37,850
.. I knocked the bottle of milk
over and it went everywhere
64
00:04:37,900 --> 00:04:41,130
and I said...
65
00:04:41,180 --> 00:04:44,450
? I've got my ticket
for the long way 'round
66
00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:47,490
? Two bottle whiskey for the way
67
00:04:47,540 --> 00:04:51,130
? And I sure would like some sweet company
68
00:04:51,180 --> 00:04:54,890
? Oh, I'm leaving
tomorrow, what do you say?
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00:04:54,940 --> 00:04:57,130
- ? When I'm gone
- When I'm gone
70
00:04:57,180 --> 00:04:59,570
- ? When I'm gone
- When I'm gone
71
00:04:59,620 --> 00:05:02,610
? You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
72
00:05:02,660 --> 00:05:04,690
? You're gonna miss me by my hair
73
00:05:04,740 --> 00:05:06,890
? You're gonna miss me everywhere
74
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:11,530
? You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
75
00:05:11,580 --> 00:05:15,330
? I've got my ticket
for the long way 'round
76
00:05:15,380 --> 00:05:18,250
? The one with the prettiest view
77
00:05:18,300 --> 00:05:20,130
? It's got mountains, it's got rivers
78
00:05:20,180 --> 00:05:22,410
? It's got woods that'll give you shivers
79
00:05:22,460 --> 00:05:26,010
? But it sure would be prettier with you
80
00:05:26,060 --> 00:05:28,650
- ? When I'm gone
- When I'm gone
81
00:05:28,700 --> 00:05:31,090
- ? When I'm gone
- When I'm gone
82
00:05:31,140 --> 00:05:34,620
? You're gonna miss me when I'm gone. ?
83
00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:44,340
Kelly forgot her passport.
84
00:05:45,380 --> 00:05:48,130
So her mum's bringing it round,
so that'll be a lovely start
85
00:05:48,180 --> 00:05:50,850
to the day, and Derek's coming
around with the suitcase
86
00:05:50,900 --> 00:05:53,090
because they don't like
mine and Jason forgot
87
00:05:53,140 --> 00:05:55,170
his was broken till he
tried to do it up...
88
00:05:55,220 --> 00:05:57,970
And he woke me up at quarter past five!
89
00:05:58,020 --> 00:06:02,410
- You OK? - Yeah, yeah, just
got stuck behind the bin men.
90
00:06:02,460 --> 00:06:06,500
Oh, there's always a crisp packet.
91
00:06:13,180 --> 00:06:14,810
Do you want a sniff?
92
00:06:14,860 --> 00:06:18,290
- No, I'm OK thanks.
- Lyn came round with her grandson.
93
00:06:18,340 --> 00:06:22,050
There's about 100 nappies
in there. Takes me back.
94
00:06:22,100 --> 00:06:23,850
- Thanks for doing this.
- No. No. I...
95
00:06:23,900 --> 00:06:28,570
I'll be honest with you, Michael,
I can't wait for them to be gone.
96
00:06:28,620 --> 00:06:31,850
It's my last day of school...
Quarter past five, she came in!
97
00:06:31,900 --> 00:06:34,490
She literally sat on the bed.
98
00:06:34,540 --> 00:06:37,850
I've had a nightmare where that happened.
99
00:06:37,900 --> 00:06:39,600
At least I hope it was a nightmare.
100
00:06:43,660 --> 00:06:47,650
Can you believe I've
started saying literally?
101
00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:52,210
Hi, Michael, we've just literally
sorting out our liquids.
102
00:06:52,260 --> 00:06:55,890
What they do, Cathy, because
basically these days we're
103
00:06:55,940 --> 00:06:58,650
all terrorists whether we want
to be or not, they don't let you
104
00:06:58,700 --> 00:07:03,290
- take more than 100ml of any
liquid on a plane. - Yeah, I know.
105
00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:05,290
- Not even water.
- Yeah.
106
00:07:05,340 --> 00:07:06,970
Imagine that, though, babe.
107
00:07:07,020 --> 00:07:12,220
Imagine if a terrorist got on a
plane with over 100ml of water.
108
00:07:14,180 --> 00:07:16,450
It doesn't bear thinking about.
109
00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:20,970
All the times I've been
on a plane I have...
110
00:07:21,020 --> 00:07:24,330
I'm trying to say the sentence
now without saying literally.
111
00:07:24,380 --> 00:07:27,850
I have never fancied eating seafood
112
00:07:27,900 --> 00:07:29,890
just because I'm at an airport.
113
00:07:29,940 --> 00:07:34,500
Once you start saying literally,
it's literally impossible to stop.
114
00:07:36,100 --> 00:07:40,170
- You OK? - Yeah, yeah. - Oh.
115
00:07:40,220 --> 00:07:44,250
We ran out, so the next day I
bought one. Then Kelly got one in
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00:07:44,300 --> 00:07:47,250
Sainsbury's and Jason got one
on his way home from work.
117
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:50,450
And none of them are Heinz.
118
00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:53,500
We'll have to go back to the
garden centre and get another one.
119
00:07:56,300 --> 00:07:59,650
Are you OK? You seem a bit sad.
120
00:07:59,700 --> 00:08:02,490
Did you have a bad night?
121
00:08:02,540 --> 00:08:04,380
My mum died.
122
00:08:07,260 --> 00:08:09,450
Oh, God.
123
00:08:09,500 --> 00:08:12,050
Oh, God I'm so sorry. What happened?
124
00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:14,810
Nothing, really.
125
00:08:14,860 --> 00:08:20,650
Hospital phoned during the
night and... she just went.
126
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:22,860
She didn't... she didn't know so...
127
00:08:23,900 --> 00:08:26,690
.. it's probably for the best.
128
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:30,090
- What are you doing here?
- Mum! - Don't say anything.
129
00:08:30,140 --> 00:08:34,330
- Cathy, just got a text from a hotel.
- Got some really bad news!
130
00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:38,050
Oh, no, Cathy, our
holiday's been cancelled.
131
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,120
Oh, OK.
132
00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:47,010
- We're winding you up!
- Classic!
133
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:50,970
We've got a really cruel
sense of humour, babe.
134
00:08:51,020 --> 00:08:52,810
Everyone's like, "Kelly!"
135
00:08:52,860 --> 00:08:55,250
And I'm like, "What?!" and
they're like, "You know!"
136
00:08:55,300 --> 00:08:56,440
And I'm like, "Whatever!"
137
00:09:00,820 --> 00:09:03,130
- Just wait in the car.
- I'm not waiting in the car.
138
00:09:03,180 --> 00:09:06,970
- I'm fucking starving. - I'll only be couple
of minutes. - She'd better have granola.
139
00:09:07,020 --> 00:09:09,700
- How could anyone not
have granola? - Indeed.
140
00:09:10,820 --> 00:09:13,530
It's actually quite light when it's empty.
141
00:09:13,580 --> 00:09:16,570
Well, it would be, wouldn't it?
142
00:09:16,620 --> 00:09:18,900
Yeah. I suppose it would be.
143
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:23,610
Oh, hello. Thanks for bringing in this.
144
00:09:23,660 --> 00:09:25,690
It's OK, Cath, my little cherub.
145
00:09:25,740 --> 00:09:28,530
Sorry, it's so early.
146
00:09:28,580 --> 00:09:31,050
- Good time at the theatre?
- Yeah, it was good thanks, yeah.
147
00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:34,250
We got ice cream. They're only
little but you can have two.
148
00:09:34,300 --> 00:09:36,450
Oh, it's a different class
of person at the theatre.
149
00:09:36,500 --> 00:09:39,410
Everyone's old and they
sort of look clever.
150
00:09:39,460 --> 00:09:42,770
- It's a very distinguished crowd. - Right.
- I wore my glasses, didn't I, help me fit in.
151
00:09:42,820 --> 00:09:44,650
Yes.
152
00:09:44,700 --> 00:09:46,730
What do you listen to in the car?
153
00:09:46,780 --> 00:09:49,170
- What's the name of that
Scottish instrument? - Bagpipes.
154
00:09:49,220 --> 00:09:50,850
Can you play 'em?
155
00:09:50,900 --> 00:09:53,010
Shall we make some room in the boot?
156
00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:57,130
Good morning, Michael, my
little cherub. You look rough.
157
00:09:57,180 --> 00:09:59,170
- We went to the theatre last night.
- Did you?
158
00:09:59,220 --> 00:10:02,370
We saw a very long play
about the climate change.
159
00:10:02,420 --> 00:10:03,700
Sounds great, mate.
160
00:10:11,140 --> 00:10:14,570
You see, I never would have done that if I
hadn't seen a play about climate change.
161
00:10:14,620 --> 00:10:15,780
Very good, Derek.
162
00:10:16,780 --> 00:10:18,690
Just doing my bit to save the universe.
163
00:10:18,740 --> 00:10:21,330
- They can get a cab.
- No, no, it's 40 quid.
164
00:10:21,380 --> 00:10:24,010
- Let me just explain to them...
- Babe! Have you got the hats?
165
00:10:24,060 --> 00:10:27,810
Yeah, I think I'm might
wear mine on the plane.
166
00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:32,810
It's very nice, love.
167
00:10:32,860 --> 00:10:34,890
Are you allowed to wear
a hat on the plane?
168
00:10:34,940 --> 00:10:36,370
Let me just explain to them...
169
00:10:36,420 --> 00:10:39,340
No, listen, I wanted
to say to you first...
170
00:10:41,060 --> 00:10:43,850
You know when things like this happen?
171
00:10:43,900 --> 00:10:48,250
And... you can see things differently.
172
00:10:48,300 --> 00:10:52,570
And life is too short. I mean,
it's not... It's not about that,
173
00:10:52,620 --> 00:10:58,890
but it's when... you know you've been
waiting decades to say something.
174
00:10:58,940 --> 00:11:01,090
- What's wrong with my voice?
- Don't get into this now.
175
00:11:01,140 --> 00:11:03,730
- (What's wrong with my voice?)
- It's the same as your face.
176
00:11:03,780 --> 00:11:05,930
It's never going to change,
no point talking about it.
177
00:11:05,980 --> 00:11:07,740
- [What's wrong with my face?!]
- Sorry.
178
00:11:09,220 --> 00:11:13,980
- Yeah, yeah, it changes your perspective,
doesn't it, when you lose someone. - Yeah.
179
00:11:15,580 --> 00:11:17,580
- It gives you a kind of courage.
- Yeah.
180
00:11:20,540 --> 00:11:22,380
What do you want to say to me?
181
00:11:25,020 --> 00:11:26,970
Mum! Nan and Grandad are here!
182
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,420
It's all right. Go on. They can wait.
183
00:11:30,980 --> 00:11:32,100
Mum!!
184
00:11:35,540 --> 00:11:38,930
- A whole quiche...
- I was hungry.
185
00:11:38,980 --> 00:11:42,890
- Morning!
- Think about it, Cathy. Picture it.
186
00:11:42,940 --> 00:11:45,610
An entire quiche for her dinner.
187
00:11:45,660 --> 00:11:48,610
- I was going to have the other half
this morning. - You all right, Nan?
188
00:11:48,660 --> 00:11:50,770
- He's being a dick.
- Oh, well.
189
00:11:50,820 --> 00:11:53,010
How's she ever going
to get her figure back
190
00:11:53,060 --> 00:11:54,410
if she's eating an entire quiche?
191
00:11:54,460 --> 00:11:56,170
You had one as well, you thick bastard.
192
00:11:56,220 --> 00:12:00,810
- Yes, but I've got the body for it.
- I don't know what you're saying but I'm sure it's fucking stupid.
193
00:12:00,860 --> 00:12:04,090
- The weight spreads around me like
butter, Cathy. - Yeah? - Honestly.
194
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:07,210
I could eat 100 quiches a
day and you wouldn't notice.
195
00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:11,650
A million quiches a week.
I'm built beautifully.
196
00:12:11,700 --> 00:12:15,140
It's wonderful to look at. But her?
197
00:12:16,780 --> 00:12:19,690
You should've seen her when we first met.
198
00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:24,730
I took her to Butlin's and I
kissed every bone in her body.
199
00:12:24,780 --> 00:12:28,290
- Well. Let me help you.
- Get off.
200
00:12:28,340 --> 00:12:32,540
What you have to remember, Derek, is that when
you go to see a play, it's meant to be boring.
201
00:12:34,340 --> 00:12:35,540
All right, Reg?
202
00:12:36,860 --> 00:12:39,210
Who knows?
203
00:12:39,260 --> 00:12:43,250
- You don't admit the play
was boring, obviously. - No.
204
00:12:43,300 --> 00:12:49,010
You use words like clever or
relevant or thought-provoking.
205
00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:52,580
- Interesting.
- Yes. Well done.
206
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:57,780
Because the more bored you
are, the better the play.
207
00:12:59,900 --> 00:13:05,850
So, well, last night...
208
00:13:05,900 --> 00:13:09,610
.. that was obviously
a very good play, then.
209
00:13:09,660 --> 00:13:11,500
Yes, it was excellent.
210
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:18,130
- Jason, love, shall me and Michael put the
bags...? - What do we do about Doctors?
211
00:13:18,180 --> 00:13:22,050
- Sorry? - What do we do if they
arrive with the washing machine
212
00:13:22,100 --> 00:13:23,300
and Doctors is on?
213
00:13:24,420 --> 00:13:29,170
Um... Well, maybe you could just let
them in and then carry on watching?
214
00:13:29,220 --> 00:13:32,420
You want me to leave the room
in the middle of Doctors?
215
00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:37,970
- She's out of her mind. - Jason,
love, shall me and Michael... - Kelly!
216
00:13:38,020 --> 00:13:40,210
You'll have to take some
of this stuff out, babe.
217
00:13:40,260 --> 00:13:44,370
But it's got my magazines in
it, babe. And my lucky rocks.
218
00:13:44,420 --> 00:13:46,930
Taking rocks on a plane...
219
00:13:46,980 --> 00:13:49,330
We'll just pay a little
bit extra at the airport.
220
00:13:49,380 --> 00:13:52,090
Taking rocks on a plane, though...
221
00:13:52,140 --> 00:13:57,050
- Shall we put them in the car?
- Yeah. Thanks, Mum. Thanks, Michael.
222
00:13:57,100 --> 00:13:58,180
Here.
223
00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:03,340
- Have a drink on me. - Oh, Grandad, you
don't have to... - No, wait a minute.
224
00:14:05,900 --> 00:14:07,420
Didn't know I had that.
225
00:14:10,220 --> 00:14:15,410
I've got this assembly this morning
and I've got to do it because it's Noah and he's got Asperger's.
226
00:14:15,460 --> 00:14:18,650
And he's mad about lions, so
why don't I come round later?
227
00:14:18,700 --> 00:14:22,530
Cathy. Do you know the last
thing I spoke to my mum about?
228
00:14:22,580 --> 00:14:25,450
Knock-knock! Morning!
229
00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:30,290
I've got my new fella in the car, Cathy, have
a look. He's 24 and he's thick as pig shit.
230
00:14:30,340 --> 00:14:34,250
- It's like winning in the lottery.
Oh, bloody hell. - I better...
231
00:14:34,300 --> 00:14:38,330
- Have you changed your carpet?
- Hi, Mum.
232
00:14:38,380 --> 00:14:42,130
Oh, here's the idiot! Forgot her passport!
233
00:14:42,180 --> 00:14:45,650
What kind of idiot forgets their passport?
234
00:14:45,700 --> 00:14:48,820
- Can I have it?
- Yeah, course, love.
235
00:14:54,740 --> 00:14:57,220
No, you can have it, babe, here you go.
236
00:15:03,220 --> 00:15:06,540
- Can I have a look at it, Carol?
- Yeah. Course.
237
00:15:13,460 --> 00:15:16,010
Seriously though, Mum, can I have it...
238
00:15:16,060 --> 00:15:19,620
Yeah, no, seriously, Kell, here it is.
239
00:15:26,780 --> 00:15:32,250
His dad still gives him money
because he's like 24 or something stupid and he's thick as pig shit.
240
00:15:32,300 --> 00:15:34,810
Honestly. He buys me flowers.
241
00:15:34,860 --> 00:15:37,130
What the fuck am I going
to do with flowers?
242
00:15:37,180 --> 00:15:40,570
Amazing body? Yes.
243
00:15:40,620 --> 00:15:44,850
Thinks I'm younger than I am? Yes.
244
00:15:44,900 --> 00:15:47,930
And up here, nothing.
245
00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:51,980
Does anything that I tell
him. Couldn't believe me luck!
246
00:15:53,060 --> 00:15:54,660
Kell!
247
00:15:58,300 --> 00:16:01,180
That wasn't too difficult, was it?
248
00:16:02,820 --> 00:16:09,810
Yeah... Silly me! Thanks, Mum.
249
00:16:09,860 --> 00:16:15,060
- See, I've still got the fringe?
- Yeah...
250
00:16:16,820 --> 00:16:20,580
- See you in ten days.
- Oh, come on, Kell. Don't be needy.
251
00:16:23,140 --> 00:16:26,890
Cheer up, Michael. Might never happen.
252
00:16:31,300 --> 00:16:32,800
She's got three bottles of ketchup!
253
00:16:32,850 --> 00:16:36,450
Oh, get a life! How much
ketchup does she need?
254
00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:40,250
I look like a serial killer, don't I?
255
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:45,020
Yeah, but one of the sexy serial killers.
256
00:16:49,780 --> 00:16:52,970
That's such a lovely thing to say.
257
00:16:53,020 --> 00:16:54,100
Come on.
258
00:16:56,460 --> 00:16:58,370
- What's going on?
- Nothing, Reg.
259
00:16:58,420 --> 00:17:02,290
- You all right, babe? You OK?
- Yeah.
260
00:17:02,340 --> 00:17:04,060
No, I'm good, yeah.
261
00:17:05,660 --> 00:17:09,660
- I think when we get our own place, she
will start to speak to me different. - Yeah.
262
00:17:11,820 --> 00:17:19,530
Your mum said my passport photo
looks like a sexy serial killer.
263
00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:23,010
- Did she?
- Yeah.
264
00:17:23,060 --> 00:17:25,420
- That's nice of her.
- Yeah.
265
00:17:27,260 --> 00:17:30,530
So why don't you go home and have a kip?
266
00:17:30,580 --> 00:17:33,850
I've got this end of year
assembly this morning with Noah
267
00:17:33,900 --> 00:17:37,290
and I've literally got to be there.
But I can come round after that.
268
00:17:37,340 --> 00:17:41,010
You need time to process
everything that's happened
269
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:45,810
and you can't even begin to do
that if you haven't had any sleep.
270
00:17:45,860 --> 00:17:49,020
So I'm going to order them a cab. OK?
271
00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:56,210
Do you know the last thing
I spoke to my mum about?
272
00:17:56,260 --> 00:18:00,530
Oh, no. Sorry you asked me
that before, didn't you? Sorry.
273
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,860
No, no, what did you speak to her about?
274
00:18:05,140 --> 00:18:06,460
You.
275
00:18:08,180 --> 00:18:11,900
Oh, erm...
276
00:18:13,180 --> 00:18:15,100
Nothing bad, I hope.
277
00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:21,930
What do you mean me?
278
00:18:21,980 --> 00:18:24,020
What do you think I mean, Cathy?
279
00:18:25,340 --> 00:18:29,170
You know what I'm talking
about. My mum's was just...
280
00:18:29,220 --> 00:18:32,290
- No, don't do this now. - My mum was
just saying I should tell you how I...
281
00:18:32,340 --> 00:18:34,450
Don't do this now, Michael, No, not now.
282
00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:37,210
Right then, my little
cherubs. Pauline's just...
283
00:18:37,260 --> 00:18:39,010
Pauline!
284
00:18:39,060 --> 00:18:41,170
I can do that.
285
00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:42,860
- Pauline!
- I can do that.
286
00:18:44,260 --> 00:18:47,020
- I can't do... - Pauline. - Wait!
287
00:18:48,780 --> 00:18:51,610
It actually gets very
restricted because...
288
00:18:51,660 --> 00:18:53,620
Oh, no, I can do that.
289
00:18:56,820 --> 00:18:59,050
I can't...
290
00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:00,300
Pauline!
291
00:19:01,820 --> 00:19:05,650
Well, the point is it's 100 times
worse than your mother's was.
292
00:19:05,700 --> 00:19:09,010
- Shall we get you off
to work, darling? - Yes!
293
00:19:09,060 --> 00:19:12,010
- I was just updating Jason about
my wrist, Cathy. - Oh, yeah?
294
00:19:12,060 --> 00:19:14,850
- I've had to go private,
haven't I. - Yeah.
295
00:19:14,900 --> 00:19:18,330
- It's so much better than the NHS.
- You get mints in the waiting room.
296
00:19:18,380 --> 00:19:20,170
- Feel the finish.
- I'm OK...
297
00:19:20,220 --> 00:19:22,810
Feel the finish, Cathy.
Don't be difficult.
298
00:19:22,860 --> 00:19:24,530
Yes, lovely.
299
00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:28,250
- Can you imagine me in
an NHS hospital? - God no!
300
00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:30,180
I'd have to burn my clothes.
301
00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:34,730
- Do you want a hand with that?
- No, no, you OK, mate, you head off.
302
00:19:34,780 --> 00:19:36,490
Come on, don't be silly.
303
00:19:36,540 --> 00:19:38,220
No, no, I am fine. You head off.
304
00:19:39,820 --> 00:19:44,050
Come on! Let me help, what's
the matter, let me help you.
305
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:45,810
You don't like me any more?
306
00:19:45,860 --> 00:19:46,940
No. OK, OK.
307
00:19:57,780 --> 00:20:00,290
Michael, don't do this.
308
00:20:00,340 --> 00:20:03,370
You know she's got rocks in here?
309
00:20:03,420 --> 00:20:04,460
Yeah.
310
00:20:06,540 --> 00:20:08,620
Apparently, they are lucky or something.
311
00:20:25,620 --> 00:20:27,850
Why would I want to be thin?
312
00:20:27,900 --> 00:20:30,050
Because it would be
nice for me to look at.
313
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:33,090
Don't laugh at me.
314
00:20:33,140 --> 00:20:35,490
You're a male chauvinist.
315
00:20:35,540 --> 00:20:37,300
That's your answer to everything.
316
00:20:41,300 --> 00:20:43,500
Look at Cheryl Cole.
317
00:20:44,700 --> 00:20:46,890
Look how thin she is.
318
00:20:46,940 --> 00:20:49,090
How hard can it be?
319
00:20:49,140 --> 00:20:50,820
I'm 86!
320
00:20:52,980 --> 00:20:56,100
And here comes the avalanche of excuses.
321
00:20:58,500 --> 00:21:03,090
I'd like to see you getting
Cheryl Cole to peel your pears.
322
00:21:03,140 --> 00:21:04,840
Oh, she wouldn't have the patience.
323
00:21:06,980 --> 00:21:09,010
But I tell you who would
have the patience.
324
00:21:09,060 --> 00:21:12,340
I tell you who'd peel a pear meticulously.
325
00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:16,810
- Lorraine Kelly.
- Oh, please!
326
00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:20,090
She could have any man she wanted.
327
00:21:20,140 --> 00:21:25,290
She's always so happy. She
doesn't let anything get her down.
328
00:21:25,340 --> 00:21:29,490
Yeah, well, that would soon
change if she lived with you.
329
00:21:29,540 --> 00:21:34,690
I tell you. Walking round Debenhams
with Lorraine Kelly on my arm.
330
00:21:35,740 --> 00:21:38,600
Yeah, that would be something.
331
00:21:48,460 --> 00:21:50,650
Yeah, no. It's going well.
332
00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:53,450
- She was really nice to me
the other day. - Oh, good.
333
00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:56,770
I'm trying to sort of construct
for myself a better personality,
334
00:21:56,820 --> 00:21:59,570
so it's like the going to the
theatre or like the other day,
335
00:21:59,620 --> 00:22:02,570
I was whistling in my car or like
I don't know if you've noticed
336
00:22:02,620 --> 00:22:04,930
- but I'm calling people my
little cherub. - Oh, yeah.
337
00:22:04,980 --> 00:22:06,380
Standing like this.
338
00:22:08,300 --> 00:22:10,330
Anything to keep off the demons.
339
00:22:10,380 --> 00:22:14,410
Sometimes I get a bit worried that maybe I'm
not as intelligent or handsome as I think.
340
00:22:14,460 --> 00:22:16,530
- But it's just the demons.
- Yeah.
341
00:22:16,580 --> 00:22:18,770
I've still got Pauline
so I can't be that bad!
342
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:20,100
I'd better go.
343
00:22:21,620 --> 00:22:23,490
It can be a build-up of
little things, can't it,
344
00:22:23,540 --> 00:22:26,340
then suddenly one day out of
nowhere they walk out on you.
345
00:22:28,020 --> 00:22:29,780
I'm coming, my little darling! Sorry!
346
00:22:34,340 --> 00:22:39,340
I was just telling Michael about the icebergs
and the penguins and all the bloody CO2.
347
00:23:02,460 --> 00:23:04,850
Did you know what I meant?
348
00:23:04,900 --> 00:23:06,980
- Don't do this now.
- But did you?
349
00:23:16,140 --> 00:23:19,980
- So you think you might...
- You don't want to do this today.
350
00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:25,380
You held my hand, Cathy,
on New Year's Eve.
351
00:23:28,140 --> 00:23:32,330
You held my hand, you
stroked it with your thumb.
352
00:23:32,380 --> 00:23:36,930
And we've been to garden
centres. I know that's not...
353
00:23:36,980 --> 00:23:40,690
They're just garden centres. I know it sounds mad
when I say it out loud because I know they're
354
00:23:40,740 --> 00:23:43,490
just garden centres but we've been
to three of these garden centres
355
00:23:43,540 --> 00:23:45,540
and you still haven't bought any chairs.
356
00:23:48,300 --> 00:23:51,490
So what are we going to do?
I mean, do you want chairs?
357
00:23:51,540 --> 00:23:53,410
Or do you do not want chairs?
358
00:23:53,460 --> 00:23:56,850
Are we just going to spend our
lives just going to garden centres
359
00:23:56,900 --> 00:24:01,730
and not buying any chairs and bouncing
round the place like everything's OK?
360
00:24:01,780 --> 00:24:06,370
Because the problem with the world, Cath, the
problem with the world is everything's not OK.
361
00:24:06,420 --> 00:24:09,610
And no-one does things
362
00:24:09,660 --> 00:24:15,610
and no-one... no-one dares to tell
the truth because it's scary and
363
00:24:15,660 --> 00:24:18,290
it's hard and it's messy...
364
00:24:18,340 --> 00:24:22,500
.. and no-one... nobody
wants to do difficult things.
365
00:24:23,940 --> 00:24:26,130
But the world is difficult
366
00:24:26,180 --> 00:24:32,410
and some things are unfair and
last night my mum died and...
367
00:24:32,460 --> 00:24:36,420
.. she wasn't that kind of
woman... You know, I could never...
368
00:24:38,700 --> 00:24:42,650
- You don't want to do this now.
- I do. - You don't, Michael.
369
00:24:42,700 --> 00:24:46,130
- Can I... can I tell you
something, Cath? - No.
370
00:24:46,180 --> 00:24:48,930
I really, really, really
want to tell you something.
371
00:24:48,980 --> 00:24:51,460
You don't, Michael. Not like this.
372
00:24:54,780 --> 00:24:57,490
But you know what I'm
going to say, don't you?
373
00:24:57,540 --> 00:24:58,740
Cathy.
374
00:25:02,940 --> 00:25:04,440
And you can feel it too, can't you?
375
00:25:13,020 --> 00:25:16,730
Then we... Then we
should to talk about it...
376
00:25:16,780 --> 00:25:20,890
- But what if...
- What?
377
00:25:20,940 --> 00:25:25,170
What? No, say it, say it. Say it if you
are feeling something, you should...
378
00:25:25,220 --> 00:25:27,060
What if I just miss Dave?
379
00:25:40,100 --> 00:25:41,620
Ah, Jesus.
380
00:25:48,660 --> 00:25:49,700
Ah, I am so sorry.
381
00:25:53,180 --> 00:25:54,740
I'm so, so sorry.
382
00:25:56,340 --> 00:25:57,890
I...
383
00:25:57,940 --> 00:26:03,290
Michael. No, Michael,
don't... Michael. God.
384
00:26:03,340 --> 00:26:06,890
Michael, don't go like this.
385
00:26:06,940 --> 00:26:08,340
Oi! Taxi!
386
00:26:11,500 --> 00:26:15,410
- Bye, Mum. - Bye! - Bye,
Cathy! - We'll FaceTime, yeah?
387
00:26:15,460 --> 00:26:20,370
- Yeah. Yeah. - Come here! - Kelly's going
to set us all up on a WhatsApp group. - Great.
388
00:26:20,420 --> 00:26:22,610
Then we can send you
pictures of what we're eating
389
00:26:22,660 --> 00:26:25,090
and you can send us pictures
of what you're eating.
390
00:26:25,140 --> 00:26:29,770
- Passport? - I've got it.
Bye, Mum! - Bye, Cathy. - Bye.
391
00:26:29,820 --> 00:26:32,930
- Do you see how sad she is we're going?
- Oh, my God, it's so cute.
392
00:26:32,980 --> 00:26:37,250
- Michael! Hey! - Michael! We're
going to have oysters for breakfast.
393
00:26:37,300 --> 00:26:40,330
- I bet you're well jealous.
- Michael! - My mum's calling you.
394
00:26:40,380 --> 00:26:42,810
I'm going to sit in the
back so we can hold hands.
395
00:26:42,860 --> 00:26:44,900
Michael!
396
00:27:12,460 --> 00:27:16,130
? I've got my ticket
for the long way 'round
397
00:27:16,180 --> 00:27:19,210
? Two bottle whiskey for the way
398
00:27:19,260 --> 00:27:22,890
? And I sure would like some sweet company
399
00:27:22,940 --> 00:27:26,570
? And I'm leaving
tomorrow, what do you say?
400
00:27:26,620 --> 00:27:28,410
? When I'm gone
401
00:27:28,460 --> 00:27:30,850
? When I'm gone
402
00:27:30,900 --> 00:27:34,050
? You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
403
00:27:34,100 --> 00:27:35,970
? You're gonna miss me by my hair
404
00:27:36,020 --> 00:27:37,690
? You're gonna miss me everywhere
405
00:27:37,740 --> 00:27:39,650
? Oh, you're gonna miss me
406
00:27:39,700 --> 00:27:41,740
? When I'm gone. ?
407
00:27:41,790 --> 00:27:46,340
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