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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,100 --> 00:00:09,060 (Cathy...) 2 00:00:27,420 --> 00:00:29,420 Ca-thy... 3 00:00:52,780 --> 00:00:54,610 - Cathy. - Oh! 4 00:00:54,660 --> 00:00:57,450 (Morning!) 5 00:00:57,500 --> 00:01:01,330 Hey, you, Kelly. You OK? 6 00:01:01,380 --> 00:01:03,850 Yeah. It's six o'clock. 7 00:01:03,900 --> 00:01:07,580 I was going to come in at five, but I thought I'd let you sleep. 8 00:01:08,580 --> 00:01:11,980 - Thanks. - We're going on holiday today. 9 00:01:17,580 --> 00:01:19,490 Sorry, love, what time is it? 10 00:01:19,540 --> 00:01:20,780 Six? 11 00:01:23,020 --> 00:01:27,450 Quarter to six? Might be a little bit earlier. 12 00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:28,930 (Kelly.) 13 00:01:28,980 --> 00:01:31,500 It's all right, babe, she's woken up. 14 00:01:32,420 --> 00:01:35,330 We're going Cyprus today, Mum. 15 00:01:35,380 --> 00:01:38,930 It's actually one country, but it's literally split down the middle. 16 00:01:38,980 --> 00:01:41,810 - They had a civil war. - It's a nation divided. 17 00:01:41,860 --> 00:01:45,330 Whose side are you on, Mum, the Greeks' or the Turks'? 18 00:01:45,380 --> 00:01:47,490 Can we talk about this later, love, 19 00:01:47,540 --> 00:01:50,580 - when I've had a bit of a chance to wake up? - Yeah. 20 00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:01,620 I've never watched you get out of bed before. 21 00:02:06,180 --> 00:02:09,980 - Shall I wait downstairs? - Yeah. - Cool. 22 00:02:11,580 --> 00:02:13,980 - Bye! - Bye. 23 00:02:15,060 --> 00:02:17,890 When we've gone through a security, babe, should we get some breakfast 24 00:02:17,940 --> 00:02:20,100 - at this seafood bar? - Seafood bar? - Yeah! 25 00:02:27,820 --> 00:02:30,370 - Hello again, Cathy. - Hello. 26 00:02:30,420 --> 00:02:33,450 - You really needed that wee, didn't you? - Yeah. 27 00:02:33,500 --> 00:02:35,450 I thought you were never going to finish. 28 00:02:35,500 --> 00:02:39,210 So, yesterday, in Sainsbury's, Marsha was quite literally 29 00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:41,290 sneezing everywhere. 30 00:02:41,340 --> 00:02:45,130 And then Ronald's going "Why would you make the bakery smaller?" 31 00:02:45,180 --> 00:02:48,930 And then Omar being Omar, he was all, "Oh, no, I'm Omar. 32 00:02:48,980 --> 00:02:53,650 "Don't listen to anyone apart from Neil Kevin Ricardo. 33 00:02:53,700 --> 00:02:56,450 "Look at me, I'm Joyce. I'm the till supervisor 34 00:02:56,500 --> 00:03:00,370 "and basically I am as slow as a slug. And my husband comes in..." 35 00:03:00,420 --> 00:03:03,090 Sorry. ".. and my husband comes in and does his shopping 36 00:03:03,140 --> 00:03:05,050 "and we act like we don't know each other." 37 00:03:05,100 --> 00:03:08,930 Whereas I like to take my time with the customers and ask them about their day and sort of question 38 00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:12,610 whether they really need everything they're buying. 39 00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:16,290 Sorry, I've forgotten what I was saying. 40 00:03:16,340 --> 00:03:19,210 Don't worry, love, I wasn't listening. 41 00:03:22,700 --> 00:03:25,810 - So we got the aftersun? - Check. 42 00:03:25,860 --> 00:03:28,330 - Towels for the deckchairs? - Check. 43 00:03:28,380 --> 00:03:30,410 Jackets in case we leave the hotel? 44 00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:32,420 Why would we leave the hotel? 45 00:03:33,820 --> 00:03:35,450 Yeah. 46 00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:38,540 - Your mum's bringing over your passport. - Oh! 47 00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:41,460 You've got your Marmite... 48 00:03:42,540 --> 00:03:47,890 I've got my loo rolls, protein powder and... bumbag? 49 00:03:47,940 --> 00:03:49,050 In your cupboard. 50 00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:52,050 - Thanks, Mum! - Aw... 51 00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:53,450 Thanks, Cathy! 52 00:03:54,900 --> 00:03:59,650 - No, just keep still. Let's... - Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. 53 00:03:59,700 --> 00:04:02,930 - Yeah, it's all right. Can you just...? - Oh, my God, no. I'm so sorry, Cathy. 54 00:04:02,980 --> 00:04:05,970 - I'm so, so sorry. - It's all right. - Look at all the... 55 00:04:08,020 --> 00:04:09,890 -I'm crying over spilt milk. Yeah. 56 00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:13,570 - Just pass me the tea towel. - It's basically hilarious. 57 00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:16,410 - It is! - I'm crying over spilt milk! 58 00:04:17,460 --> 00:04:20,970 - Can you pass me the...? - Can I tell Jason? - Yeah! - Jason! 59 00:04:21,020 --> 00:04:22,940 - Jason! Jason! - Oh, Jesus... 60 00:04:26,260 --> 00:04:28,010 Jason! 61 00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:30,850 Just now, downstairs in the kitchen, I... 62 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:34,210 What? 63 00:04:34,260 --> 00:04:37,850 .. I knocked the bottle of milk over and it went everywhere 64 00:04:37,900 --> 00:04:41,130 and I said... 65 00:04:41,180 --> 00:04:44,450 ? I've got my ticket for the long way 'round 66 00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:47,490 ? Two bottle whiskey for the way 67 00:04:47,540 --> 00:04:51,130 ? And I sure would like some sweet company 68 00:04:51,180 --> 00:04:54,890 ? Oh, I'm leaving tomorrow, what do you say? 69 00:04:54,940 --> 00:04:57,130 - ? When I'm gone - When I'm gone 70 00:04:57,180 --> 00:04:59,570 - ? When I'm gone - When I'm gone 71 00:04:59,620 --> 00:05:02,610 ? You're gonna miss me when I'm gone 72 00:05:02,660 --> 00:05:04,690 ? You're gonna miss me by my hair 73 00:05:04,740 --> 00:05:06,890 ? You're gonna miss me everywhere 74 00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:11,530 ? You're gonna miss me when I'm gone 75 00:05:11,580 --> 00:05:15,330 ? I've got my ticket for the long way 'round 76 00:05:15,380 --> 00:05:18,250 ? The one with the prettiest view 77 00:05:18,300 --> 00:05:20,130 ? It's got mountains, it's got rivers 78 00:05:20,180 --> 00:05:22,410 ? It's got woods that'll give you shivers 79 00:05:22,460 --> 00:05:26,010 ? But it sure would be prettier with you 80 00:05:26,060 --> 00:05:28,650 - ? When I'm gone - When I'm gone 81 00:05:28,700 --> 00:05:31,090 - ? When I'm gone - When I'm gone 82 00:05:31,140 --> 00:05:34,620 ? You're gonna miss me when I'm gone. ? 83 00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:44,340 Kelly forgot her passport. 84 00:05:45,380 --> 00:05:48,130 So her mum's bringing it round, so that'll be a lovely start 85 00:05:48,180 --> 00:05:50,850 to the day, and Derek's coming around with the suitcase 86 00:05:50,900 --> 00:05:53,090 because they don't like mine and Jason forgot 87 00:05:53,140 --> 00:05:55,170 his was broken till he tried to do it up... 88 00:05:55,220 --> 00:05:57,970 And he woke me up at quarter past five! 89 00:05:58,020 --> 00:06:02,410 - You OK? - Yeah, yeah, just got stuck behind the bin men. 90 00:06:02,460 --> 00:06:06,500 Oh, there's always a crisp packet. 91 00:06:13,180 --> 00:06:14,810 Do you want a sniff? 92 00:06:14,860 --> 00:06:18,290 - No, I'm OK thanks. - Lyn came round with her grandson. 93 00:06:18,340 --> 00:06:22,050 There's about 100 nappies in there. Takes me back. 94 00:06:22,100 --> 00:06:23,850 - Thanks for doing this. - No. No. I... 95 00:06:23,900 --> 00:06:28,570 I'll be honest with you, Michael, I can't wait for them to be gone. 96 00:06:28,620 --> 00:06:31,850 It's my last day of school... Quarter past five, she came in! 97 00:06:31,900 --> 00:06:34,490 She literally sat on the bed. 98 00:06:34,540 --> 00:06:37,850 I've had a nightmare where that happened. 99 00:06:37,900 --> 00:06:39,600 At least I hope it was a nightmare. 100 00:06:43,660 --> 00:06:47,650 Can you believe I've started saying literally? 101 00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:52,210 Hi, Michael, we've just literally sorting out our liquids. 102 00:06:52,260 --> 00:06:55,890 What they do, Cathy, because basically these days we're 103 00:06:55,940 --> 00:06:58,650 all terrorists whether we want to be or not, they don't let you 104 00:06:58,700 --> 00:07:03,290 - take more than 100ml of any liquid on a plane. - Yeah, I know. 105 00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:05,290 - Not even water. - Yeah. 106 00:07:05,340 --> 00:07:06,970 Imagine that, though, babe. 107 00:07:07,020 --> 00:07:12,220 Imagine if a terrorist got on a plane with over 100ml of water. 108 00:07:14,180 --> 00:07:16,450 It doesn't bear thinking about. 109 00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:20,970 All the times I've been on a plane I have... 110 00:07:21,020 --> 00:07:24,330 I'm trying to say the sentence now without saying literally. 111 00:07:24,380 --> 00:07:27,850 I have never fancied eating seafood 112 00:07:27,900 --> 00:07:29,890 just because I'm at an airport. 113 00:07:29,940 --> 00:07:34,500 Once you start saying literally, it's literally impossible to stop. 114 00:07:36,100 --> 00:07:40,170 - You OK? - Yeah, yeah. - Oh. 115 00:07:40,220 --> 00:07:44,250 We ran out, so the next day I bought one. Then Kelly got one in 116 00:07:44,300 --> 00:07:47,250 Sainsbury's and Jason got one on his way home from work. 117 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:50,450 And none of them are Heinz. 118 00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:53,500 We'll have to go back to the garden centre and get another one. 119 00:07:56,300 --> 00:07:59,650 Are you OK? You seem a bit sad. 120 00:07:59,700 --> 00:08:02,490 Did you have a bad night? 121 00:08:02,540 --> 00:08:04,380 My mum died. 122 00:08:07,260 --> 00:08:09,450 Oh, God. 123 00:08:09,500 --> 00:08:12,050 Oh, God I'm so sorry. What happened? 124 00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:14,810 Nothing, really. 125 00:08:14,860 --> 00:08:20,650 Hospital phoned during the night and... she just went. 126 00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:22,860 She didn't... she didn't know so... 127 00:08:23,900 --> 00:08:26,690 .. it's probably for the best. 128 00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:30,090 - What are you doing here? - Mum! - Don't say anything. 129 00:08:30,140 --> 00:08:34,330 - Cathy, just got a text from a hotel. - Got some really bad news! 130 00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:38,050 Oh, no, Cathy, our holiday's been cancelled. 131 00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,120 Oh, OK. 132 00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:47,010 - We're winding you up! - Classic! 133 00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:50,970 We've got a really cruel sense of humour, babe. 134 00:08:51,020 --> 00:08:52,810 Everyone's like, "Kelly!" 135 00:08:52,860 --> 00:08:55,250 And I'm like, "What?!" and they're like, "You know!" 136 00:08:55,300 --> 00:08:56,440 And I'm like, "Whatever!" 137 00:09:00,820 --> 00:09:03,130 - Just wait in the car. - I'm not waiting in the car. 138 00:09:03,180 --> 00:09:06,970 - I'm fucking starving. - I'll only be couple of minutes. - She'd better have granola. 139 00:09:07,020 --> 00:09:09,700 - How could anyone not have granola? - Indeed. 140 00:09:10,820 --> 00:09:13,530 It's actually quite light when it's empty. 141 00:09:13,580 --> 00:09:16,570 Well, it would be, wouldn't it? 142 00:09:16,620 --> 00:09:18,900 Yeah. I suppose it would be. 143 00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:23,610 Oh, hello. Thanks for bringing in this. 144 00:09:23,660 --> 00:09:25,690 It's OK, Cath, my little cherub. 145 00:09:25,740 --> 00:09:28,530 Sorry, it's so early. 146 00:09:28,580 --> 00:09:31,050 - Good time at the theatre? - Yeah, it was good thanks, yeah. 147 00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:34,250 We got ice cream. They're only little but you can have two. 148 00:09:34,300 --> 00:09:36,450 Oh, it's a different class of person at the theatre. 149 00:09:36,500 --> 00:09:39,410 Everyone's old and they sort of look clever. 150 00:09:39,460 --> 00:09:42,770 - It's a very distinguished crowd. - Right. - I wore my glasses, didn't I, help me fit in. 151 00:09:42,820 --> 00:09:44,650 Yes. 152 00:09:44,700 --> 00:09:46,730 What do you listen to in the car? 153 00:09:46,780 --> 00:09:49,170 - What's the name of that Scottish instrument? - Bagpipes. 154 00:09:49,220 --> 00:09:50,850 Can you play 'em? 155 00:09:50,900 --> 00:09:53,010 Shall we make some room in the boot? 156 00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:57,130 Good morning, Michael, my little cherub. You look rough. 157 00:09:57,180 --> 00:09:59,170 - We went to the theatre last night. - Did you? 158 00:09:59,220 --> 00:10:02,370 We saw a very long play about the climate change. 159 00:10:02,420 --> 00:10:03,700 Sounds great, mate. 160 00:10:11,140 --> 00:10:14,570 You see, I never would have done that if I hadn't seen a play about climate change. 161 00:10:14,620 --> 00:10:15,780 Very good, Derek. 162 00:10:16,780 --> 00:10:18,690 Just doing my bit to save the universe. 163 00:10:18,740 --> 00:10:21,330 - They can get a cab. - No, no, it's 40 quid. 164 00:10:21,380 --> 00:10:24,010 - Let me just explain to them... - Babe! Have you got the hats? 165 00:10:24,060 --> 00:10:27,810 Yeah, I think I'm might wear mine on the plane. 166 00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:32,810 It's very nice, love. 167 00:10:32,860 --> 00:10:34,890 Are you allowed to wear a hat on the plane? 168 00:10:34,940 --> 00:10:36,370 Let me just explain to them... 169 00:10:36,420 --> 00:10:39,340 No, listen, I wanted to say to you first... 170 00:10:41,060 --> 00:10:43,850 You know when things like this happen? 171 00:10:43,900 --> 00:10:48,250 And... you can see things differently. 172 00:10:48,300 --> 00:10:52,570 And life is too short. I mean, it's not... It's not about that, 173 00:10:52,620 --> 00:10:58,890 but it's when... you know you've been waiting decades to say something. 174 00:10:58,940 --> 00:11:01,090 - What's wrong with my voice? - Don't get into this now. 175 00:11:01,140 --> 00:11:03,730 - (What's wrong with my voice?) - It's the same as your face. 176 00:11:03,780 --> 00:11:05,930 It's never going to change, no point talking about it. 177 00:11:05,980 --> 00:11:07,740 - [What's wrong with my face?!] - Sorry. 178 00:11:09,220 --> 00:11:13,980 - Yeah, yeah, it changes your perspective, doesn't it, when you lose someone. - Yeah. 179 00:11:15,580 --> 00:11:17,580 - It gives you a kind of courage. - Yeah. 180 00:11:20,540 --> 00:11:22,380 What do you want to say to me? 181 00:11:25,020 --> 00:11:26,970 Mum! Nan and Grandad are here! 182 00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,420 It's all right. Go on. They can wait. 183 00:11:30,980 --> 00:11:32,100 Mum!! 184 00:11:35,540 --> 00:11:38,930 - A whole quiche... - I was hungry. 185 00:11:38,980 --> 00:11:42,890 - Morning! - Think about it, Cathy. Picture it. 186 00:11:42,940 --> 00:11:45,610 An entire quiche for her dinner. 187 00:11:45,660 --> 00:11:48,610 - I was going to have the other half this morning. - You all right, Nan? 188 00:11:48,660 --> 00:11:50,770 - He's being a dick. - Oh, well. 189 00:11:50,820 --> 00:11:53,010 How's she ever going to get her figure back 190 00:11:53,060 --> 00:11:54,410 if she's eating an entire quiche? 191 00:11:54,460 --> 00:11:56,170 You had one as well, you thick bastard. 192 00:11:56,220 --> 00:12:00,810 - Yes, but I've got the body for it. - I don't know what you're saying but I'm sure it's fucking stupid. 193 00:12:00,860 --> 00:12:04,090 - The weight spreads around me like butter, Cathy. - Yeah? - Honestly. 194 00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:07,210 I could eat 100 quiches a day and you wouldn't notice. 195 00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:11,650 A million quiches a week. I'm built beautifully. 196 00:12:11,700 --> 00:12:15,140 It's wonderful to look at. But her? 197 00:12:16,780 --> 00:12:19,690 You should've seen her when we first met. 198 00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:24,730 I took her to Butlin's and I kissed every bone in her body. 199 00:12:24,780 --> 00:12:28,290 - Well. Let me help you. - Get off. 200 00:12:28,340 --> 00:12:32,540 What you have to remember, Derek, is that when you go to see a play, it's meant to be boring. 201 00:12:34,340 --> 00:12:35,540 All right, Reg? 202 00:12:36,860 --> 00:12:39,210 Who knows? 203 00:12:39,260 --> 00:12:43,250 - You don't admit the play was boring, obviously. - No. 204 00:12:43,300 --> 00:12:49,010 You use words like clever or relevant or thought-provoking. 205 00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:52,580 - Interesting. - Yes. Well done. 206 00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:57,780 Because the more bored you are, the better the play. 207 00:12:59,900 --> 00:13:05,850 So, well, last night... 208 00:13:05,900 --> 00:13:09,610 .. that was obviously a very good play, then. 209 00:13:09,660 --> 00:13:11,500 Yes, it was excellent. 210 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:18,130 - Jason, love, shall me and Michael put the bags...? - What do we do about Doctors? 211 00:13:18,180 --> 00:13:22,050 - Sorry? - What do we do if they arrive with the washing machine 212 00:13:22,100 --> 00:13:23,300 and Doctors is on? 213 00:13:24,420 --> 00:13:29,170 Um... Well, maybe you could just let them in and then carry on watching? 214 00:13:29,220 --> 00:13:32,420 You want me to leave the room in the middle of Doctors? 215 00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:37,970 - She's out of her mind. - Jason, love, shall me and Michael... - Kelly! 216 00:13:38,020 --> 00:13:40,210 You'll have to take some of this stuff out, babe. 217 00:13:40,260 --> 00:13:44,370 But it's got my magazines in it, babe. And my lucky rocks. 218 00:13:44,420 --> 00:13:46,930 Taking rocks on a plane... 219 00:13:46,980 --> 00:13:49,330 We'll just pay a little bit extra at the airport. 220 00:13:49,380 --> 00:13:52,090 Taking rocks on a plane, though... 221 00:13:52,140 --> 00:13:57,050 - Shall we put them in the car? - Yeah. Thanks, Mum. Thanks, Michael. 222 00:13:57,100 --> 00:13:58,180 Here. 223 00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:03,340 - Have a drink on me. - Oh, Grandad, you don't have to... - No, wait a minute. 224 00:14:05,900 --> 00:14:07,420 Didn't know I had that. 225 00:14:10,220 --> 00:14:15,410 I've got this assembly this morning and I've got to do it because it's Noah and he's got Asperger's. 226 00:14:15,460 --> 00:14:18,650 And he's mad about lions, so why don't I come round later? 227 00:14:18,700 --> 00:14:22,530 Cathy. Do you know the last thing I spoke to my mum about? 228 00:14:22,580 --> 00:14:25,450 Knock-knock! Morning! 229 00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:30,290 I've got my new fella in the car, Cathy, have a look. He's 24 and he's thick as pig shit. 230 00:14:30,340 --> 00:14:34,250 - It's like winning in the lottery. Oh, bloody hell. - I better... 231 00:14:34,300 --> 00:14:38,330 - Have you changed your carpet? - Hi, Mum. 232 00:14:38,380 --> 00:14:42,130 Oh, here's the idiot! Forgot her passport! 233 00:14:42,180 --> 00:14:45,650 What kind of idiot forgets their passport? 234 00:14:45,700 --> 00:14:48,820 - Can I have it? - Yeah, course, love. 235 00:14:54,740 --> 00:14:57,220 No, you can have it, babe, here you go. 236 00:15:03,220 --> 00:15:06,540 - Can I have a look at it, Carol? - Yeah. Course. 237 00:15:13,460 --> 00:15:16,010 Seriously though, Mum, can I have it... 238 00:15:16,060 --> 00:15:19,620 Yeah, no, seriously, Kell, here it is. 239 00:15:26,780 --> 00:15:32,250 His dad still gives him money because he's like 24 or something stupid and he's thick as pig shit. 240 00:15:32,300 --> 00:15:34,810 Honestly. He buys me flowers. 241 00:15:34,860 --> 00:15:37,130 What the fuck am I going to do with flowers? 242 00:15:37,180 --> 00:15:40,570 Amazing body? Yes. 243 00:15:40,620 --> 00:15:44,850 Thinks I'm younger than I am? Yes. 244 00:15:44,900 --> 00:15:47,930 And up here, nothing. 245 00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:51,980 Does anything that I tell him. Couldn't believe me luck! 246 00:15:53,060 --> 00:15:54,660 Kell! 247 00:15:58,300 --> 00:16:01,180 That wasn't too difficult, was it? 248 00:16:02,820 --> 00:16:09,810 Yeah... Silly me! Thanks, Mum. 249 00:16:09,860 --> 00:16:15,060 - See, I've still got the fringe? - Yeah... 250 00:16:16,820 --> 00:16:20,580 - See you in ten days. - Oh, come on, Kell. Don't be needy. 251 00:16:23,140 --> 00:16:26,890 Cheer up, Michael. Might never happen. 252 00:16:31,300 --> 00:16:32,800 She's got three bottles of ketchup! 253 00:16:32,850 --> 00:16:36,450 Oh, get a life! How much ketchup does she need? 254 00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:40,250 I look like a serial killer, don't I? 255 00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:45,020 Yeah, but one of the sexy serial killers. 256 00:16:49,780 --> 00:16:52,970 That's such a lovely thing to say. 257 00:16:53,020 --> 00:16:54,100 Come on. 258 00:16:56,460 --> 00:16:58,370 - What's going on? - Nothing, Reg. 259 00:16:58,420 --> 00:17:02,290 - You all right, babe? You OK? - Yeah. 260 00:17:02,340 --> 00:17:04,060 No, I'm good, yeah. 261 00:17:05,660 --> 00:17:09,660 - I think when we get our own place, she will start to speak to me different. - Yeah. 262 00:17:11,820 --> 00:17:19,530 Your mum said my passport photo looks like a sexy serial killer. 263 00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:23,010 - Did she? - Yeah. 264 00:17:23,060 --> 00:17:25,420 - That's nice of her. - Yeah. 265 00:17:27,260 --> 00:17:30,530 So why don't you go home and have a kip? 266 00:17:30,580 --> 00:17:33,850 I've got this end of year assembly this morning with Noah 267 00:17:33,900 --> 00:17:37,290 and I've literally got to be there. But I can come round after that. 268 00:17:37,340 --> 00:17:41,010 You need time to process everything that's happened 269 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:45,810 and you can't even begin to do that if you haven't had any sleep. 270 00:17:45,860 --> 00:17:49,020 So I'm going to order them a cab. OK? 271 00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:56,210 Do you know the last thing I spoke to my mum about? 272 00:17:56,260 --> 00:18:00,530 Oh, no. Sorry you asked me that before, didn't you? Sorry. 273 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,860 No, no, what did you speak to her about? 274 00:18:05,140 --> 00:18:06,460 You. 275 00:18:08,180 --> 00:18:11,900 Oh, erm... 276 00:18:13,180 --> 00:18:15,100 Nothing bad, I hope. 277 00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:21,930 What do you mean me? 278 00:18:21,980 --> 00:18:24,020 What do you think I mean, Cathy? 279 00:18:25,340 --> 00:18:29,170 You know what I'm talking about. My mum's was just... 280 00:18:29,220 --> 00:18:32,290 - No, don't do this now. - My mum was just saying I should tell you how I... 281 00:18:32,340 --> 00:18:34,450 Don't do this now, Michael, No, not now. 282 00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:37,210 Right then, my little cherubs. Pauline's just... 283 00:18:37,260 --> 00:18:39,010 Pauline! 284 00:18:39,060 --> 00:18:41,170 I can do that. 285 00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:42,860 - Pauline! - I can do that. 286 00:18:44,260 --> 00:18:47,020 - I can't do... - Pauline. - Wait! 287 00:18:48,780 --> 00:18:51,610 It actually gets very restricted because... 288 00:18:51,660 --> 00:18:53,620 Oh, no, I can do that. 289 00:18:56,820 --> 00:18:59,050 I can't... 290 00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:00,300 Pauline! 291 00:19:01,820 --> 00:19:05,650 Well, the point is it's 100 times worse than your mother's was. 292 00:19:05,700 --> 00:19:09,010 - Shall we get you off to work, darling? - Yes! 293 00:19:09,060 --> 00:19:12,010 - I was just updating Jason about my wrist, Cathy. - Oh, yeah? 294 00:19:12,060 --> 00:19:14,850 - I've had to go private, haven't I. - Yeah. 295 00:19:14,900 --> 00:19:18,330 - It's so much better than the NHS. - You get mints in the waiting room. 296 00:19:18,380 --> 00:19:20,170 - Feel the finish. - I'm OK... 297 00:19:20,220 --> 00:19:22,810 Feel the finish, Cathy. Don't be difficult. 298 00:19:22,860 --> 00:19:24,530 Yes, lovely. 299 00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:28,250 - Can you imagine me in an NHS hospital? - God no! 300 00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:30,180 I'd have to burn my clothes. 301 00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:34,730 - Do you want a hand with that? - No, no, you OK, mate, you head off. 302 00:19:34,780 --> 00:19:36,490 Come on, don't be silly. 303 00:19:36,540 --> 00:19:38,220 No, no, I am fine. You head off. 304 00:19:39,820 --> 00:19:44,050 Come on! Let me help, what's the matter, let me help you. 305 00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:45,810 You don't like me any more? 306 00:19:45,860 --> 00:19:46,940 No. OK, OK. 307 00:19:57,780 --> 00:20:00,290 Michael, don't do this. 308 00:20:00,340 --> 00:20:03,370 You know she's got rocks in here? 309 00:20:03,420 --> 00:20:04,460 Yeah. 310 00:20:06,540 --> 00:20:08,620 Apparently, they are lucky or something. 311 00:20:25,620 --> 00:20:27,850 Why would I want to be thin? 312 00:20:27,900 --> 00:20:30,050 Because it would be nice for me to look at. 313 00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:33,090 Don't laugh at me. 314 00:20:33,140 --> 00:20:35,490 You're a male chauvinist. 315 00:20:35,540 --> 00:20:37,300 That's your answer to everything. 316 00:20:41,300 --> 00:20:43,500 Look at Cheryl Cole. 317 00:20:44,700 --> 00:20:46,890 Look how thin she is. 318 00:20:46,940 --> 00:20:49,090 How hard can it be? 319 00:20:49,140 --> 00:20:50,820 I'm 86! 320 00:20:52,980 --> 00:20:56,100 And here comes the avalanche of excuses. 321 00:20:58,500 --> 00:21:03,090 I'd like to see you getting Cheryl Cole to peel your pears. 322 00:21:03,140 --> 00:21:04,840 Oh, she wouldn't have the patience. 323 00:21:06,980 --> 00:21:09,010 But I tell you who would have the patience. 324 00:21:09,060 --> 00:21:12,340 I tell you who'd peel a pear meticulously. 325 00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:16,810 - Lorraine Kelly. - Oh, please! 326 00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:20,090 She could have any man she wanted. 327 00:21:20,140 --> 00:21:25,290 She's always so happy. She doesn't let anything get her down. 328 00:21:25,340 --> 00:21:29,490 Yeah, well, that would soon change if she lived with you. 329 00:21:29,540 --> 00:21:34,690 I tell you. Walking round Debenhams with Lorraine Kelly on my arm. 330 00:21:35,740 --> 00:21:38,600 Yeah, that would be something. 331 00:21:48,460 --> 00:21:50,650 Yeah, no. It's going well. 332 00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:53,450 - She was really nice to me the other day. - Oh, good. 333 00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:56,770 I'm trying to sort of construct for myself a better personality, 334 00:21:56,820 --> 00:21:59,570 so it's like the going to the theatre or like the other day, 335 00:21:59,620 --> 00:22:02,570 I was whistling in my car or like I don't know if you've noticed 336 00:22:02,620 --> 00:22:04,930 - but I'm calling people my little cherub. - Oh, yeah. 337 00:22:04,980 --> 00:22:06,380 Standing like this. 338 00:22:08,300 --> 00:22:10,330 Anything to keep off the demons. 339 00:22:10,380 --> 00:22:14,410 Sometimes I get a bit worried that maybe I'm not as intelligent or handsome as I think. 340 00:22:14,460 --> 00:22:16,530 - But it's just the demons. - Yeah. 341 00:22:16,580 --> 00:22:18,770 I've still got Pauline so I can't be that bad! 342 00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:20,100 I'd better go. 343 00:22:21,620 --> 00:22:23,490 It can be a build-up of little things, can't it, 344 00:22:23,540 --> 00:22:26,340 then suddenly one day out of nowhere they walk out on you. 345 00:22:28,020 --> 00:22:29,780 I'm coming, my little darling! Sorry! 346 00:22:34,340 --> 00:22:39,340 I was just telling Michael about the icebergs and the penguins and all the bloody CO2. 347 00:23:02,460 --> 00:23:04,850 Did you know what I meant? 348 00:23:04,900 --> 00:23:06,980 - Don't do this now. - But did you? 349 00:23:16,140 --> 00:23:19,980 - So you think you might... - You don't want to do this today. 350 00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:25,380 You held my hand, Cathy, on New Year's Eve. 351 00:23:28,140 --> 00:23:32,330 You held my hand, you stroked it with your thumb. 352 00:23:32,380 --> 00:23:36,930 And we've been to garden centres. I know that's not... 353 00:23:36,980 --> 00:23:40,690 They're just garden centres. I know it sounds mad when I say it out loud because I know they're 354 00:23:40,740 --> 00:23:43,490 just garden centres but we've been to three of these garden centres 355 00:23:43,540 --> 00:23:45,540 and you still haven't bought any chairs. 356 00:23:48,300 --> 00:23:51,490 So what are we going to do? I mean, do you want chairs? 357 00:23:51,540 --> 00:23:53,410 Or do you do not want chairs? 358 00:23:53,460 --> 00:23:56,850 Are we just going to spend our lives just going to garden centres 359 00:23:56,900 --> 00:24:01,730 and not buying any chairs and bouncing round the place like everything's OK? 360 00:24:01,780 --> 00:24:06,370 Because the problem with the world, Cath, the problem with the world is everything's not OK. 361 00:24:06,420 --> 00:24:09,610 And no-one does things 362 00:24:09,660 --> 00:24:15,610 and no-one... no-one dares to tell the truth because it's scary and 363 00:24:15,660 --> 00:24:18,290 it's hard and it's messy... 364 00:24:18,340 --> 00:24:22,500 .. and no-one... nobody wants to do difficult things. 365 00:24:23,940 --> 00:24:26,130 But the world is difficult 366 00:24:26,180 --> 00:24:32,410 and some things are unfair and last night my mum died and... 367 00:24:32,460 --> 00:24:36,420 .. she wasn't that kind of woman... You know, I could never... 368 00:24:38,700 --> 00:24:42,650 - You don't want to do this now. - I do. - You don't, Michael. 369 00:24:42,700 --> 00:24:46,130 - Can I... can I tell you something, Cath? - No. 370 00:24:46,180 --> 00:24:48,930 I really, really, really want to tell you something. 371 00:24:48,980 --> 00:24:51,460 You don't, Michael. Not like this. 372 00:24:54,780 --> 00:24:57,490 But you know what I'm going to say, don't you? 373 00:24:57,540 --> 00:24:58,740 Cathy. 374 00:25:02,940 --> 00:25:04,440 And you can feel it too, can't you? 375 00:25:13,020 --> 00:25:16,730 Then we... Then we should to talk about it... 376 00:25:16,780 --> 00:25:20,890 - But what if... - What? 377 00:25:20,940 --> 00:25:25,170 What? No, say it, say it. Say it if you are feeling something, you should... 378 00:25:25,220 --> 00:25:27,060 What if I just miss Dave? 379 00:25:40,100 --> 00:25:41,620 Ah, Jesus. 380 00:25:48,660 --> 00:25:49,700 Ah, I am so sorry. 381 00:25:53,180 --> 00:25:54,740 I'm so, so sorry. 382 00:25:56,340 --> 00:25:57,890 I... 383 00:25:57,940 --> 00:26:03,290 Michael. No, Michael, don't... Michael. God. 384 00:26:03,340 --> 00:26:06,890 Michael, don't go like this. 385 00:26:06,940 --> 00:26:08,340 Oi! Taxi! 386 00:26:11,500 --> 00:26:15,410 - Bye, Mum. - Bye! - Bye, Cathy! - We'll FaceTime, yeah? 387 00:26:15,460 --> 00:26:20,370 - Yeah. Yeah. - Come here! - Kelly's going to set us all up on a WhatsApp group. - Great. 388 00:26:20,420 --> 00:26:22,610 Then we can send you pictures of what we're eating 389 00:26:22,660 --> 00:26:25,090 and you can send us pictures of what you're eating. 390 00:26:25,140 --> 00:26:29,770 - Passport? - I've got it. Bye, Mum! - Bye, Cathy. - Bye. 391 00:26:29,820 --> 00:26:32,930 - Do you see how sad she is we're going? - Oh, my God, it's so cute. 392 00:26:32,980 --> 00:26:37,250 - Michael! Hey! - Michael! We're going to have oysters for breakfast. 393 00:26:37,300 --> 00:26:40,330 - I bet you're well jealous. - Michael! - My mum's calling you. 394 00:26:40,380 --> 00:26:42,810 I'm going to sit in the back so we can hold hands. 395 00:26:42,860 --> 00:26:44,900 Michael! 396 00:27:12,460 --> 00:27:16,130 ? I've got my ticket for the long way 'round 397 00:27:16,180 --> 00:27:19,210 ? Two bottle whiskey for the way 398 00:27:19,260 --> 00:27:22,890 ? And I sure would like some sweet company 399 00:27:22,940 --> 00:27:26,570 ? And I'm leaving tomorrow, what do you say? 400 00:27:26,620 --> 00:27:28,410 ? When I'm gone 401 00:27:28,460 --> 00:27:30,850 ? When I'm gone 402 00:27:30,900 --> 00:27:34,050 ? You're gonna miss me when I'm gone 403 00:27:34,100 --> 00:27:35,970 ? You're gonna miss me by my hair 404 00:27:36,020 --> 00:27:37,690 ? You're gonna miss me everywhere 405 00:27:37,740 --> 00:27:39,650 ? Oh, you're gonna miss me 406 00:27:39,700 --> 00:27:41,740 ? When I'm gone. ? 407 00:27:41,790 --> 00:27:46,340 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 33417

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